


Let's Be One

by unciadesu



Series: Let's Be One [1]
Category: C-Pop, EXO (Band), K-pop, SHINee, f(x)
Genre: Abuse, Acceptance, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Alternate Universe - Wolf (Music Video), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blood and Violence, Bromance, Cheesy, Epic Bromance, Explicit Language, Fluff, Foot Fetish, Friendship/Love, Hate Speech, Homophobic Language, Host Clubs, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know, I don't really censure my characters, I don't remember all the sex things that I wrote, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Injury, Kinks, Like, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Making Out, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Most of the time, Oral Sex, Pain, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Safewords, Self-Acceptance, Sex, Sex Toys, Sex Work, Smut, Superpowers, Swearing, Threesome - M/M/M, Violence, also, also warning for some mistakes, and a, and that can lead to very VERY stupid mistakes, at some point, big warning for that, but like, but there's also, cause I usually end up writing in the early hours of the day, eeeeeeeeh, ghost story, it would scare me so it might scare one of you, it's also a, so like, sometimes, technically, there is some kinky shit once in a while, there's, toxic masculinity, warning for a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2018-10-20 05:08:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 41
Words: 179,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10655559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unciadesu/pseuds/unciadesu
Summary: What started out small is slowly becoming bigger and bigger.Suho and Kris were both wolf shapeshifters that had known each other for a couple of months via the web. One was living in Korea and the other in China. Due to sharing multiple interests and similiraties they quickly became close.When trouble started in Suho's old pack in Korea, Kris proposed to go live in Japan and to form there a new pack. That was the dawn to new days.On new relationships and issues that they are able to overcome all together, is slowly built a family and a place they can call home.





	1. The Innocent Hides in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Btw, I'm not necessarily always agreeing with what my characters do (in fact most of the time I think they are stupid butt poops but like we wouldn't have novels if nobody made mistakes, right? (Always feel free to write in the comments if you disagree with one of the characters actions and maybe we can bond together by ranting over how idiotic they were :) (that rhymed, nice.))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for injury and mention of violence.

 

"You can go first, I’ll do the closing."

"Okay, thanks, hyung !"

He took the back door of the café that led to the alleys they usually took to go back to the pack. They were dark and he could barely see anything but he wasn’t too scared. Not anymore. He knew he could defend himself if anything happened. He also knew that if he was too scared he could always brighten up his surroundings thanks to his powers.

_Suho hyung told you that you shouldn’t worry. You’re safe here, Baekhyun. They are here for you._

Even though he was getting accustomed to his new life-style in Japan with the pack, with being a shape-shifter, with having superpowers and with working in a café as well as a music school part-time, he had to keep repeating reassuring sentences to himself.

He was sure Xiumin was trying to help him by sending him off alone. That way, Baekhyun could understand by himself that he was safe now, even when the pack members weren’t there.  

He came to realize, as he continued on his path, that it didn’t contain any danger, that no monsters were hidden at the corners and that the shadows weren’t dangerous.

Taking a deep breath he walked, constantly reminding himself that everything would go as usual and that he wouldn't meet a single dishonest soul as they rarely frequented these alleys. In fact, people in general rarely did so. 

Except, this monologue that he had been repeating to himself was sprinkled with lies.

Baekhyun stopped, unable to continue to breathe without the support of his moving legs. His ears had caught on sounds that weren’t supposed to be there, differing from the vent vibrations that usually inhabited the narrow paths:  someone breathing in, breathing out, whining, groaning, _crying?_

He concentrated on the sounds, trying to understand what was happening. The person was clearly breathless. They _have_   _been running? If they aren’t moving anymore, does that mean the danger is gone? Or are they the danger? Should I go help? Ignore? _

Then, he heard the person talk. He knew it was Mandarin - he had heard the Chinese members speak in their native language before _–_ but he couldn’t understand what they were saying. From the intonations, he would have said they might have been cursing _but then again, Mandarin is an expressive language._

He decided to go see. If there was any danger, he thought, he could always blind them and run away.

He followed the sounds to their owner and was stopped by a loud: "Don't get close to me!" The voice was pretty high pitched but Baekhyun still guessed it belonged to a man. 

He heard him struggle, most likely wishing to distance the both of them even more.

"Hey, I don’t wanna hurt you. I just…I heard you and you sounded like you were having a tough time so I came to see. You okay?"

"If I sounded like I was having a tough time, then I am most likely not fucking okay."

"Then, I’ll help you..."

Baekhyun got closer and, as he saw the person wasn’t trying to move away, he went by his side. 

With the little light that was illuminating the alley he could guess a few of his facial features. The stranger was breathing heavily while staring at the Korean man with his dark eyes.  His face was badly bruised. It was stained with dark spots and bumpy from the swelling of some. Baekhyun had thought at first that he had two shinners but had then realized that the man just had really prominent dark circles under his eyes twined with his aegyo sal. 

"Shit…Does it hurt?"

"Are you fucking kidding me. It hurts like a bitch and I wanna cry."

"Maybe I can…"

He took a tissue he had on him and went to sponge the man’s head bleeding wound but the later grabbed his hand quickly and twisted it on his back.

"Don't touch me!" He wailed. 

"Okokokokokokok."

The grip was unbearably painful and Baekhyun wished for him to let go. He had understood he shouldn’t touch the new face but how would he be able to help him without doing so?

The hold on his arm loosened and he heard the Mandarin speaker fall on the ground. He turned rapidly to see what had happened and saw that the one who had brutalized him a few seconds before had lost consciousness.

_I should bring him to Lay._

"Well, guess I’ll have no choice but to touch you, Mr. Stranger."

He took him in his arms - the poor boy was pretty light for his height - and carried him princess style all the way back to the pack.

 

 

 

 

When he arrived at the door that lead to the hangar, he wondered how he was going to open the door when his hands were occupied but, as he heard the commotion inside and the quick footsteps that were approaching, he simply decided to wait. 

The door opened to reveal a worried leader: "Baekhyun are you…" he didn’t finish his sentence as he saw the boy in his arms. "Oh my god, Baekhyun! What happened?"

"Sorry, but I'll have to answer your questions later, hyung."

Baekhyun might have been strong thanks to being a shapeshifter but he had been carrying the man around for a bit and he wanted to put him down. Suho apologized and let his dongsaeng enter. He was, then, again, stopped, this time by the other leader.

"You know we don’t permit humans to enter just like that, Baekhyun."

"Oh come on, Kris, can’t you see he’s injured."

"And what do you want us to do? He’s not our responsibility."

"You're heartless, Kris," Suho scolded him. The latter was suprised by his fellow leader's insensitive reaction but now wasn't the time to question it. "Let Lay heal him."

The Korean man gestured his boyfriend to take the boy. He did as he was told.  

"How are we going to explain the guy that his wounds just magically disappeared?"

"We’ll just have to not heal him too much and make him believe that Lay just tended his wounds like some normal person that has basic first aid knowledge."

"Don't touch me!" Came their impromptu guest's scream. 

The stranger had been laid on the couch and had awoken before Lay had started healing him. He was struggling to prevent the healer from touching him. Lay put a hand on his thigh while shushing him like he would do to a baby. 

He put him to sleep.

Kris just sighed as he saw that Lay had already started healing the stranger. He sat down nervously and watched silently.

"Where did you find him?" Chen asked. 

"He was in one of the alleys on my way back. I heard him cry so I went to see."

"So, he’s a complete stranger?" Kris interrogated him.

"Will you please stop," Suho reprimanded him. 

"You’re acting more like a mom than Suho or even D.O here," Chen claimed, mocking the Chinese leader's unusual behavior. 

"Do you know his name?" D.O asked, ignoring Chen's comment.

"Oh no, I didn’t think of asking. I’m pretty sure he’s Chinese though."

"How do you know?" Chen questioned.

"Please don’t make any racist comment," Kris demanded.

"Nah, I can’t think of any. I just heard him speak and recognized Mandarin."

"How do you know it wasn't Cantonese?"

"Does that really matter? Both are Chinese languages, no? Anyway, don’t Cantonese people usually add 'ah' at the end of their sentences?"

"I swear to god Baek..." Came Kris' exasperated sigh.

"Babe, can you help me here?" Lay suddendly asked and Baekhyun stopped smiling.

"Sure, my love, what can I help you with?" 

Lay only reached for Suho and grabbed his hand. He was relying on his mate’s powers.

"He had several broken bones in his arms and legs and a broken rib. I have to fix that and his internal bleeding due to the rib breaking."

Baekhyun was impressed by the fact that, even with broken bones, the guy had enough strength to run away or even to twist his arm. He thought of what could’ve happened to the boy for him to be so badly injured and it sent shivers down his spine.

Chen, noticing his reaction, leaned to him and whispered in his ear, which made him jump out of his thoughts:  

"You can go if you want. I’ll stay to make sure they treat him well." 

Baekhyun reflected on the proposition for a couple of seconds but then answered his friend that was still looking at him :

"No, it’s okay. I’ll stay."

They all watched silently as Lay healed him. 

Xiumin came back shortly after and, seeing that everyone was assembled around the couch in the back of the hangar, he wondered what was happening. Kris went to explain him sulkily that Baekhyun had brought a wounded Chinese stranger home and that Lay was healing him. The fragile man that was lying down on the pack’s couch was the center of attention.

Suho was resting his head on his boyfriend's shoulder while still holding his hand when he suddenly raised it only to ask D.O to prepare food for the boy since he thought their guest would probably be hungry when he would wake up. Kris, that had been shaking his foot nervously all this time, went to help him.

Lay stopped and rested his head on his boyfriend’s chest. "I think that’ll be enough.

"Yes, honey bear, you did more than enough."

He proceeded to kiss the later’s head. 

Chen faked puking. _God, these two can be cheesy._

They waited for the stranger to wake up. 

Kris and D.O came back with food, mostly meat, because D.O thought he would need proteins.

Baekhyun had had the time to fall asleep on Chen’s shoulder before the boy finally opened his eyes.

"Oh! He’s awake!" Lay announced and the boy jerked back whining.

"Nǐ shì shuí?" Said boy cried out in Mandarin. 

Normally, Baekhyun and Chen would probably have laughed because of how cute the man acted but, seeing the legit terrified eyes of their guest, they reconsidered.

"Don’t worry, we don’t want to hurt you," Xiumin reassured him, adressing him in the same language, "our friend brought you back here because you were wounded and we healed you."

Xiumin gestured to Baekhyun and seeing the face of someone he’d seen before did nothing. He panicked and tried going even more back on the couch even though it was impossible to go further for he had already reached the wall after climbing on the piece of furniture.

"I don’t trust you!" He yelled but then looked at his arm that was resting firmly on the backrest of the couch and stared back at them, suspicious.

"If you keep breathing like that you’ll hyperventilate," Lay declared, "you should calm down."

He relaxed and sat back on the couch, still keeping his guard up.

He probably had just assumed Xiumin was the leader or something since he kept speaking to him:

"What do you want from me."

"We don’t want anything from you except maybe that you feel better soon and that you don’t attack us."

"I don’t believe you."

"That’s your choice. I won’t push the truth on you any more."

"What are they saying?" Suho asked his boyfriend since he wasn’t following the conversation, it being in a language he didn’t quite comprehend.

"He thinks we want something from him and Xiumin-gē is explaining him that we don’t."

"Listen," Xiumin continued, "if you want to leave: it’s your choice. We won’t restrain you from doing so."

"Now he said that he could go and that we wouldn’t keep him from doing so," the healer explained to his partner.

"Wait," the latter stopped him, "no! You should rest! We have food for you as well if you are hungry!  You’re our guest, you can at least stay the night."

"Suho!" Kris opposed. "We don’t even know his name! Now he’s our guest and can stay over and steal our food?"

"I'm Tao and no, I won’t be staying over and stealing your food. Thank you for tending to my wounds." The boy spoke in english which slightly surprised them all. 

He tried to raise himself from the couch but Suho pushed him back down:

"I insist. Don’t listen to this dumb cheese pile over there, he’s overprotective."

"You’re one to talk," Chen whispered in the back.

"We have enough food to feed you, don’t feel like you are bothering us."

"I insist." He stood up. "I’m not staying. Thanks again. Farewell."

He walked in direction of the hangar’s front door but the leader once again stopped him by saying: "At least let us walk you back to your house so we know you came back safely!"

Baekhyun felt his heart clench. He felt, no, he knew that if he had found the boy crying in an alley alone he probably had chosen not to go home or he would have went there in the first place.

There was an awkward moment and Suho slowly understood what he had made a mistake. He wanted to use his powers at that moment and just drown himself but, gladly, Chen came to his aid:

"D.O here has no friends and has never had a sleepover so he would gladly want to see what it’s like."

He winced as he felt D.O pinch him. _Oh god. I’m lucky this dude’s there and that he’s a guest. I could have been killed just now._

"It really doesn’t bother you?" Tao said timidly, most likely well aware of Chen's lies.  

"Not at all," Suho smiled tenderly, happy that he didn’t have to drown himself. 

"Thank you."  

He blushed. 

Suho could hear Kris grumble in the back but he just continued smiling at Chinese boy.

"Well, if you’re gonna stay here then, we should introduce ourselves!" Xiumin started. "I’m Xiumin and I’m the eldest here. Some people like to call me Baozi as well because, apparently, I look like a bun. It’s nice to meet you."

Tao bowed to him while he heard a "you _do_  look like a bun" from the next person to talk.

"I’m Chen, I’m Chinese like Xiumin-gē as well as Lay-gē that healed you and as this sulky person over there, Kris-gē." The last one he mentioned was physically his type, he thought. He looked like he hated his guts though so he would probably try to avoid him and sass him when he would be mean. 

That sounded right.

"I’m Suho!" Said man beamed. 

"We call him 'eomma' though," Chen added, "it means 'mom' in Korean. You can call him that if you want."

"You’re Korean?" Tao investigated.

"Yes! Actually, the three of us are."

He gestured to a man with big eyes and the other one that found him.

"That’s D.O and that’s Baekhyun."

"'That’s'," Baekhyun repeated, laughing.

"Sorry. _He’s_ D.O and _he’s_ Baekhyun."

"We call D.O 'eomma number two'," Chen commented.

"I see…Well, I’m Tao. My parents are Chinese but I grew up here, in Japan."

"Oh! You must be pretty fluent in Japanese then," Suho inquired.

"Yeah."  

"Well, we arrived here two years ago," Suho looked at Kris, unsure, "so our Japanese is pretty basic. We understand and can talk with others, but let’s say we wouldn’t write a book." He chuckled at what he just said and Tao returned it awkwardly. 

There was a silence and as Tao was looking around not knowing what to do, Xiumin intervened by saying to Lay:

"He should probably rest, no?" 

It took a moment for Lay to realize that his gēge was talking to him and when he finally turned to him he raised his eyebrows and went: "Huh? Oh! Yeah, yeah. He should rest."

"Kris’ll lend you pjs for you to sleep in since you’re basically the same height."

"Wait, Suho. I don’t want to lend him my clothes they are fucking expensive," the latter protested.

"It’s not like he’s going to ruin them and we’re not letting him sleep in those dirty rags. Anyway, we both know you don't sleep in pjs so stop whinning."

 

 

 

 

"Here," Kris tossed his pajamas in Tao’s arms.

"Thank you very much," the latter answered.

"Yeah. You’re welcome."

"Hum…If I want to wash up..?"

"There’s a shower in the room to your left when you get out of here"

"Okay, thanks."

Kris started leaving but Tao stopped him. _God, I wish I wouldn't be scared in front of him in particular but I can’t do anything about it._

"I, eh…"

"Yeah?"

"May I ask a service?"

"What do you want?"

_Fuck you and your attitude, asshole. Wait no, try being cute, you need him for that._

"I’m scared to take showers alone."

"Then, take a bath."

_Oh.My.God. You fucking dick._

"That’s not the problem."

"Listen, I don’t feel like showering with a stranger." 

The taller man wouldn't even look at him when he spoke. 

"Please."

Tao tried his best to seem cute and not show on his face that he actually wanted to kick the dude in the balls. Kris, who had turned to look at him, sighed:

"Is standing outside okay?"

"Yes, sure! Thank you very much."

"Yeah, yeah."

And so, Tao went in the shower and Kris waited for him outside, hating himself for succumbing to the boy’s cuteness. His pleading look had been so adorable that he even thought of agreeing to his first request if Tao had insisted more.

He sighed again. It seemed like sighing had been the only activity he had practiced that day.   

"What’s with that sigh?" Baekhyun, who had just entered the living room of the first floor, giggled.

The floor was supposed to be occupied by the Chinese members of the pack, although, as Suho was sleeping with Lay, it wasn’t the case anymore. Not like it had ever been.

"Your friend is making me stay in front of the bathroom while he showers."

Baekhyun didn’t laugh. He knew what it was to be scared of the world and of the things that lived in it to the point that even showering alone was a terrifying thought. Instead, his expression showed pity. 

"Do you want me to take over the watch?" He proposed. 

"That would be very nice."

Baekhyun sat down next to the door and waited for their showering guest to come out while Kris went back to the others. 

_What happened to you, buddy?_

Tao finally came out after a pretty short shower.

"You could’ve taken longer if you had wanted to, you know?"

"No, didn’t feel like it."

"Alright. So, for tonight we have a guest room so you can sleep there if you want. And we have couches as well…Except, I don’t think Suho will let you sleep on a couch."

"Hum…Yeah, thanks."

_Oh god, why must I be such a scaredy cat._

"Or you can sleep with me if you want. I don’t mind." Tao looked up to Baekhyun with hopeful eyes.

"Oh my god, thank you."

 "You’re welcome."

"Oh! Hum...What- What do I do with my clothes?"

Baekhyun looked at said clothes: they were ripped and stained with blood.  

"They are...quite ruined, don’t you think? Do you still want to keep them?"

Tao liked his clothes even though he didn’t attach any emotional value to them. They were nice and expensive but as they were completely ravaged –and not in a fashionable way - he decided that it was better to throw them away. They were, after all, something that would only bring back bad memories.

"I don’t."

"Okay! Well then, let's put them in the trash."

They took the stairs that led to the second floor and Baekhyun escorted him to his room not forgetting to show Tao the kitchen, that was just on the left when they entered, and the bathroom. They threw the Chinese boy's clothes away and went to bed keeping sufficient distant between them for it not to be too awkward.

When Baekhyun started whinning, minutes after they had gone to bed, Tao jolted. He had gotten used to the silence of the room and the smaller man had just broken it. Far from being mad, he had asked him if he was okay. As he didn’t get any answer, he turned around and awknowledge the Korean man's sleeping state. 

What he assumed was a sleeping habit amused him and, without noticing he calmed down; he hadn't even realised he had been tensed.

He closed his eyes thanking life for making the Korean man find him in that alley. He wasn’t stupid. He knew he wouldn’t have been able to make the night alone. 


	2. The Whining of the Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violence and sexual assault.

The next morning, Baekhyun woke Tao up explaining him that: "if [he wanted] to have breakfast, it [was] the time". They had a custom of eating their meals all together, apparently. 

They went in the kitchen and were met by D.O and Lay cooking together and Chen assisting.

"Do you need help with anything?" Baekhyun had asked once he had entered the main room. 

"Yooo! Good morning!" Chen welcomed the newcomers.

"We’ll be done soon so just bring the tableware downstairs," D.O asked, "please."  

"Okay!"

And so they did.

While going down the stairs, Baekhyun explained Tao that, as they didn’t have enough space on the second floor for a table that they could all sit around, they just decided that it wasn’t needed and that they could just eat their meals on the hangar’s couches.

"We used to eat on the floor where the couch on the second’s living room is but then Suho decided to put it there and we switched places."

"Good morning!" The eldest yelled. 

"Good morning!" Baekhyun replied, cheerful. 

Tao imitated him.

"Slept well?" Xiumin asked as they sat.

"Ah, eh...Yeah," Tao answered when he realized the question was directed to him.

"I’m glad to hear that!"

"Oh, hey! You’re already up!" Suho said as he arrived in the hangar. "You could've slept longer. Did you sleep well at least?"

"Suho, I already asked him. Give the poor kid a break," Xiumin teased the younger man. 

The latter pouted and Xiumin laughed. 

Kris was simply sitting there, quiet. He was still sulky that a stranger was staying in the pack’s territory and was, to boot, borrowing his pajamas.  _Fuck you and your adorable face._

The cooks of that morning came down with casseroles full of food and Tao was impressed by how much they had made. _They could feed a pack of wolves with that._

As Baekhyun noticed his surprise, he explained:

"Yeah, we eat a lot."

"You have crazy metabolisms, yeah."

"We do." Baekhyun joked awkwardly.

 _Good job, Baekhyun-ah._ Suho knew that what he had done the day before - allowing Tao’s stay - could be kind of dangerous for them, but he really wanted to help the boy. He was glad Kris didn’t put up too much of a fight and still let the newcomer sleep there. _What's with his reaction anyway?_

Lay had talked to him once they had gone to bed. His boyfriend had already guessed that he probably wouldn’t let Tao go after a night of sleep. The same as with Baekhyun before. He wanted to give safety to the abused.

" _I’ll support you," spoke the man that laid, back facing him, at his side._

_Suho smiled and turned to his mate to give him a kiss. "Saranghae, Lay."_

_The latter smiled and replied : "Wǒ ài nǐ, Suho."_

_The leader then proceeded to leave butterfly kisses on his boyfriend’s neck. Lay hummed and turned himself so that he was facing Suho. He looked in his eyes before kissing his nose. Suho chuckled and took the Chinese man in his arms before falling asleep, a smile on his lips._

"Please don’t fantasize about Lay-gē, Suho-gē. Come on, we have a guest _and_ we’re eating." 

"Oh my god, Chen! I wasn’t!"

"You’re just jealous that he has a boyfriend while you don’t."

"Fuck off, Baek."

"Wait," Tao stopped their teasing, "you two are dating?"

There was a pause. 

The members that weren't part of the couple were surprised the boy hadn’t realized sooner; the two were so lovey-dovey after all.  _Of course they are dating._

Suho had to admit he had been anxious at that precise moment. He didn’t want the boy to be homophobic. Well, he didn’t want _anyone_ to be homophobic, but it was different this time. He knew that Tao judging him or not liking him only because of that would actually hurt him a little. He cared about this new acquaintance's opinion while he wouldn't as much for others'.  

"Is there a problem with that?" Kris implied, defending his members.

"Ah, no! It’s cool. I just didn’t know. That’s all. Date whoever you want; that’s none of my business."

Suho felt like he could breathe again and Lay patted circles on his back.

Tao looked back at his plate, registering the fact that his hosts didn't seem to have any problem with homosexuality. Without realizing it, he smiled.  

They ate while jumping from subjects to subjects. Xiumin talked about stuff a certain Luhan had told him happened in the locality - the latter was the one that started calling him Baozi apparently - and they laughed about how ridiculous some stories sounded.

_They look like a family to me._

 

 

 

 

Tao stopped eating after only a plate of a mix of Korean, Chinese and Japanese meals. _It’s been a while since I’ve eaten pork-filled dumplings for breakfast. It brings back nice memories._ Not accepting it, D.O forced more rice, eggs and fish in his plate not even looking at him so he didn’t have a chance of protesting.

After the second plate, he was absolutely full and shook his head when Suho looked at him to see if he wanted more. 

He watched, amazed, as the others ate four-five plates of food. _Where is it all going?_ He looked at Baekhyun that was small and pretty thin and envied him. He had to put restriction on the food that went to his belly to make sure he didn't gain weight but the Korean man could eat all he wanted and still be this well-shaped. 

"Who’s working today?" D.O asked the Korean leader.

"Everyone except Chen, supposedly," Suho answered, "Tao you can stay here if you want."

"I don’t want to bother-"

"You are not a bother."

"If he stays then can I stay as well?" Baekhyun wondered.

"Arrange that with Chen." the leader replied. 

Baekhyun gave his same-age friend the puppy look and the latter gave in.

 

 

 

 

Next thing Tao knew, Baekhyun had sat him down on the couch on the first floor’s living room and forced a controller in his hands. The older man had previously asked Tao what he wanted to do and as he hadn't been answering he had asked him if he liked video games. By answering "yes" Tao had signed up for a whole day of only playing games on the console. Not like he really minded. 

Baekhyun had prepared them. He had brought food and drinks downstairs so he wouldn’t have to go back to the second floor to fetch some. They only stopped the games to change them or to go to the toilet.

Tao thought that not bothering about his life outside was a pretty nice sensation.

Kris came back from work and when he entered the Chinese members’ dorm and saw the mess the two had made he stared at Baekhyun:

"Did you two really stay here all day playing video games and eating junk food?"

"Yep."

"Then, get your butts off that couch and clean the fuck up. Now."

The Korean man sighed: "Yes, appa!"

"Don’t you fucking start, Baekhyun."

 

 

 

 

Four days passed that way. Suho was happy that Tao was lengthening his sojourn so he allowed Baekhyun to stay with him to keep him company and watch over him. Tao had still not opened up about his backstory and the Korean leader kept worrying. Because that’s what mothers do; they worry.

Tao was slowly getting used to the pack’s – because that was the name that they had given to their little group as weird as that sounds - routine. They woke up in the morning and someone would go make breakfast. It was usually either D.O or Lay because they were the only two that had actually learned to cook tasteful meals. The others would help or wait in the hangar for their meal. They ate altogether like a family would do and then headed to work.

Tao had learned they worked in both a little café that they owned and a music school that they also owned but with friends.

They would sometimes come back for dinner and they would, again, all eat together.

When they didn’t feel like cooking they would order Chinese dishes. They didn’t do that too often because ordering enough food for the pack members was expensive.

After work, they would come back, eat supper, chit-chat or watch movies until late at night and go to bed for another day of routine.

Tao liked it here, he couldn’t lie. 

The others had felt it too. They wouldn’t tell him obviously, but Suho would mention it to Lay and that made the latter happy.

They would go to bed and his boyfriend would tell him : "I think he’s getting comfortable here… I feel like he’s opening up more."

"He is."

"I feel useful. Like I’m actually accomplishing something by helping him find a place where he can feel safe."

Lay smiled at him.

"Does it make me a bad person to take pity on people like him or Baekhyun and wanting to take care of them because it makes me feel good? Like isn’t it a bit selfish? Because in the end I kind of do that for myself...'I need to feel needed' like Amber said."

That made the Chinese man giggled. 

"Hey! Don’t laugh!" He gave him a playful tap on the chest that was still pretty hard.

"That doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a good person because you gain happiness from helping someone that needs it."

They stayed silent for a moment, Suho reflecting on what the healer had just said. 

"Haengbokhae," he finally said.

"Then, I’m happy as well."

 

 

 

 

It was the fifth day of Tao’s stay. After the supper, him, Chen, Baekhyun and D.O decided to go start a movie while the oldest men stayed together in the hangar.

Somehow, the only Korean individual that stayed there ended up being pinned down on the sofa by his partner. Suho had looked at him with surprised eyes but he would have been lying if he had said that he hadn't been lusting over his partner as well. They had been restraining themselves for a few days because they didn’t think traumatizing their guest was a good idea but Suho had somehow -  _somehow -_  provoked Lay and the both of them had now revealed their horny selves to the two other people present.

"At least, wait before everyone is asleep," Kris cursed, annoyed.

Suho pushed his boyfriend away and kissed him gently. "Wait a bit, okay? I’ll be all yours then."

"Okay," Xiumin shouted, "bye. I’m going to bed because I don’t feel like hearing you two sweet-talk your way into the other’s pants. Today is not a day where I feel like hearing my dìdì having sex." 

"Same."

"Not like I ever feel like it anyway."

"Also same."

Both Kris and Xiumin went to their rooms and the couple made out a bit before doing the same. When they passed in the first floor’s living room, D.O had already went to bed and the others were still watching the movie.

"We’re going to bed," Suho informed them, "goodnight!" Baekhyun and Chen had smelled them and their scent filled with hormones informed them of what the couple was most likely going to do.

"Then, we’ll go as well," Baekhyun voiced, knowingly, "Tao, you should probably come as well, it’s late."

"Can I finish the movie? There’s like half an hour left."

"You sure you’ll be able to climb the stairs alone in the dark?" The Korean man continued trying to manipulate Tao into following him so the couple wouldn't traumatize him. 

"Yeah. I’ll be fine. Goodnight."

The smaller man resigned. Worst case scenario: the boy would hear them, get very disturbed, and leave for the second floor to sleep. He chuckled to himself thinking of the younger's man possible reaction.

"Goodnight then."

 

 

 

 

The movie had finished but Tao didn’t feel like going to bed. 

Baekhyun had been right. He _was_ scared of going in the dark staircase alone. _They could fix the light. There could be a murderer waiting for them there and they would never know._

It was late, he was tired and, at times like these, his imagination would go wild. He could picture himself going up the stairs only to meet a pair of glowing eyes looking at him in the dark. It would approach him and he would be glued on the spot not able to do anything. No martial arts could be used on ghosts after all, so how would he protect himself?

_You need to stop right now or you’ll have nightmares._

Then he heard a weird sound and he got tensed.  _Was that..?_ He heard it again. _Oh my god, what is that?_

_This is the end of me. I’m going to get killed. At least, I hope they make it fast._

He calmed down when he heard the cracking of a bed, reminding him that he wasn’t alone in the house. _You freaked out for nothing again. Wow._

Then, he heard it again, this time more clearly, and realized what was happening. _Omg, they are having sex next door. This is so embarrassing._

He looked for the remote control to raise the television’s volume but, before he could, he heard Suho moan his boyfriend’s name loudly and became as red as a tomato. _I’m going to be marked for the rest of my life. Oh my god, I wish they would just stop._

He continued looking for the remote more intensely. _They are getting fucking loud. I want to burry myself six feet under the ground._

 _Wait, no. Scratch that. Don't listen to me. I don't wanna die._  

Curiously, he was only able to hear Suho in the beginning but when he heard the bed creak again he could finally hear Lay. Oh, he surely heard him, that loud moan followed by the leader’s name and, unable to find the remote, he just decided that the best idea was to block the sounds from entering his ears and to try his best to become one with the couch under him.

 

 

 

 

Kris had been unable to fall asleep. For some reason, he hadn’t been able to fall asleep easily for the past five days and he was sure that that reason was Tao living with the pack.

He was sure it was his animal instincts keeping him awake to protect his loved ones from the danger. However, as he was starting to trust the guy he just wanted his instincts to fuck off already and let him sleep in peace. He was, of course, scared that he would discover the pack’s identity but he felt like Tao wouldn’t do anything about it except maybe faint.

He was getting close to the pack members after all, it was impossible for him to hide it from them, they just felt it.

 _I should stop treating him like that. He doesn’t deserve it._ He had been telling himself for days but he still wasn’t doing it. _Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I’ll apologize for my behavior and start being nice with him._

He heard noises coming from Suho and Lay’s room and opened his eyes.

 _Ugh._ "They could’ve waited a bit longer…Or at least they could try to make less noise when we have a guest. God."

He looked at the ceiling and sighed. _Now I can’t sleep. Great._

As they were getting more into their little fun time, their moans grew in intensity and he was getting really annoyed.

_Other people live here, you bèn dàn._

He stood up and left his room, ready to go tell the lovebirds to pipe down a bit. As he got close to the door his plan changed. He could hear that the TV was still on. _I bet Chen forgot to close it again. I swear to god, I have to do everything by myself here._

He walked to the living room and stopped as he noticed the ball that was Tao, curled up on the sofa his fingers in his ears. He was whimpering. _What is he doing there?_  He moved forward, out of the hallway and took the remote that was on top of the TV to close it. He turned his attention back to the man and kneeled down, tapping him on the shoulder.

The latter winced and opened his eyes wide staring straight in Kris’ eyes.

Tao took the fingers he had in his ears out and regretted it as he could hear the cries of pleasure clearly again. He blushed hard. _Why must you be this close? Why must your handsome face be so close to mine right now? I really didn’t want to share this moment with you. Go away._

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

His voice cracked. _Why must you do this to me, vocal cords? I thought we were friends._

He blushed harder.

Truth is, this was the first time he heard other people having sex. Don’t misunderstand, he had watched porn before, yes, but listening to actors doing the thing in front of a camera and hearing it in real life were two different things. 

They went through his ears to caress his ear-drums, the lewd sounds. Even with them blocked. 

The skin slapping together, the bed creaking, all this groaning, moaning and whimpering was making him want some too.

And then Kris was there. He might’ve hated the attitude the guy had with him but the fellow Chinese man was still fucking hot and he was trying his best not to show the guy that he wanted to bang him right there right then but he was having a hard time and a hard-on.

 

 

 

 

The older man could see that Tao was blushing hard and at first he didn’t understand why – hearing the two having sex was a usual thing for him as they didn’t know the definition of respect - but then, he smelled him.

_Shit, he’s turned on._

Tao’s voice cracked and he couldn’t help but think it was adorable.  The younger’s scent became even stronger as he became redder while still looking straight into his eyes.

He could still hear the couple fornicating and he was starting to get aroused himself because of the sounds and Tao’s scent.

The smaller man flattened his lips. He could hear him breathing heavily. 

_Is it that bad?_

Without thinking twice Kris turned his eyes to the guy’s  pants – that were actually his since he had been borrowing the shape-shifter’s clothes all the time - and saw there the bulge that Tao seemed trying to hide. He saw his legs move pressing his member and heard the other guy moan.

He lost it.

 

 

 

 

Tao saw Kris’ gaze go to his crotch and wanted to die. He didn’t want the older man to see that he was turned on and, more importantly, by him. He felt embarrassed and, in an attempt to hide his hard-on, he squeezed it and couldn’t supress the small sound that came out from his mouth.

_Oh my god, no. I did not just._

He looked back up to Kris fast, realizing what he had done.

The dude looked mad.

He was taking deep hard breaths while staring at him like he wanted to rip his head off. 

Tao apologized but then his skull was grabbed by two strong hands and Kris locked their lips together violently.  

The latter made his lips caress the younger man's and moved his hands on his head to burrow them in his hair.

Tao’s reflex was to grab Kris’ shirt and pull him closer. _Shit, I never thought kissing would feel this good._

He wanted Kris to be closer. He pulled his shoulder, grabbed his neck, pulled his body to him by hanging his arms behind his neck. _G_ _et closer._

Soon, Kris was on top of him eating the moans that would escape Tao’s mouth once in a while.

It felt like the room was on fire. His body was warming up and he could feel himself starting to sweat. He felt like he was burning up like coal. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant.  

Tao felt the taller man’s hand leave his hair and whined as the contact was lost but then the hand posed itself on his hips and he smiled in the kiss. The hand went up his shirt to fondle his skin; it grasped his ribs and pressed his thumb on his nipple making him moan. _Play with it, lick it, bite it. Please._

Kris rubbed himself on Tao’s hard-on and the latter cried out in pleasure.

The older man stopped. He pulled back and rested both his hands on the couch, holding it strongly. Tao opened his eyes, wondering why he had stopped, and was terrified when he met the guy’s gaze.

He tried to reassure himself by thinking that the assassin look in his eyes was only the taller man’s aroused expression.  _I could get used to it eventually._

However, his attempt to cheer himself up lost all chances of working when he heard the man growl.

He called the other’s name hesitantly and the only answer he got was the Chinese man pulling him off the couch and into his own bedroom by holding tightly onto his wrist which _hurt like a bitch_. He was pushed on the bed brutally and tried backing off as Kris was getting rough. 

He didn’t like it. He didn't like where this was going. 

 _What is wrong with him?!_  

"Come back here." He pulled his leg and topped him again.

"Get off of me, Kris. I don’t feel like it anymore; you’re scaring me." The smaller man tried  pushing him away but he wouldn’t even stir.

"You just didn’t have to get lewd in the first place, Tao."

He felt something fall in his body and paled drastically. _This is not happening. Oh, god, please no._ As his temperature went down, he slowly came back to reality and understood what was happening.

Kris took the opportunity to grab his hair and pull his head back so his neck would be displayed to him and he started kissing and sucking on it while his other hand was occupied with holding the younger man’s arm down.

With his free hand, Tao was desperately trying to get away from the man’s hold. He planted his nails in his skin and got bitten on the neck, punched the guy in the ribs and got slapped, tried kneeing the dude in the balls but only ended up getting his grasped.

"You try anything funny like that again and I _swear_ I’m gonna rip them off." The man threatened between his teeth. 

Kris took Tao’s belt off and used it to attach his hands to the bed. "Here, like that you won’t be able to fight back while I mess you up."

"Please! Stop! I’m sorry!"

As Kris removed his pants, tears formed in the boy's eyes but he didn't want to let them fall, holding them back the best he could. _He hates you. Now you can be sure of that, you idiot._

The man saw he was crying and licked the tear from his cheek before biting hard on it. Tao couldn’t help but scream and wiggle trying to get away from Kris’ teeth. He got punched for that.

Kris forced him closer by taking a grip on the hollows of his back and Tao saw the irises of the man topping him turn red. Although it looked real, he convinced himself that he had hallucinated, that it was all a hallucination. He didn't want to believe that any of that was actually happening. It was a reality way too hard for his brain to accept.  

The taller man proceeded to pull his boxers down but Tao kicked him. _I'm not letting you do that_ _._ He hovered over him again and took a hold of his arm so hard that Tao thought it would break. 

The boy could only cry out in agony.

Unexpectedly, the pain was taken away.

 

 

 

 

Xiumin woke up.

For some reason, there was the smell of fear floating strongly in the air and that got both his wolf and him nervous. He listened closely to the sounds of the apartment. He suddenly picked up another scent and sat up quickly recognizing it.  _Shit, someone’s in rut._

He heard a muffled "rip them off" and recognized Kris’ voice.  He got up and went to wake Chen up because he thought he might need his help.

"You smell it?" The eldest asked.

"Who is it?"

"Kris."

They heard a scream and they recognized Tao’s voice.

"Shit, tell me that’s not-"

"It is. Go get Lay."

He walked up to the Chinese leader’s room and rushed in when he heard Tao cry out. He grabbed Kris by the shoulders and pulled him off a sobbing Tao.

The taller man turned to his senior and pushed him, making him collide with the wall behind him. Chen and Lay came in and restrained their gēge. They brought him out of the room. Xiumin followed.

Suho went to detach Tao and took him in his arms while patting the back of his head, trying to calm him down. D.O who had been woken up by the screams, entered the room as well and went to pat the younger man’s back.

They both tried to even the boy’s breathing and make him realize that Kris was gone, that he was safe.

He started taking deep breaths and Suho thought he was getting better but then the younger man pushed him and ran outside the room.

They followed him hurriedly only to see him enter the bathroom and start vomiting before making it to the toilet. D.O went in as well to rub circles on his back while the younger man emptied his belly of its supper.

When he was done, he rested his back on the side of the bath and stared at the other two, his mouth opened, drained from his energy, tears on his cheeks and hairs sticking to his face. 


	3. What Was Concealed Shall Be Unveiled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for mention of sexual assault.

Baekhyun woke up and was surprised as he couldn’t feel Tao’s presence next to him. _Did he sleep in the guest room? Maybe he thought he would wake me up if he came in._ He dozed off and fifteen minutes later – which seemed like a second to him - he opened his eyes to get them used to the light and prepare them for the day.

He pushed the covers off his legs and pulled his feet off the bed, meeting the cold floor first with his toes and then slowly with the rest of his feet. He rubbed his eye with his hand to get the fatigue out of it and frowned upon the absence of sounds.

 _Is it still early?_ He looked at the clock. _No, usually D.O’s up at this time. Well, guess I’ll be the one to prepare the breakfast this morning._

He walked to the living room and went to the refrigerator. He opened it, stared at its insides for a few seconds and closed it again. _Fuck this, I’m waking D.O up._

He passed the guest room and looked into it for he wondered what Tao’s sleeping face looked like. He had, not even once, ever paid attention to it when he woke him up in the morning.  He saw the covers and pillows of the bed still placed the way Xiumin had put them. He frowned.  

"I bet he was too scared to go up the stairs. I fucking knew it." He proceeded by going to D.O’s room. The door, which was usually closed, was opened.  He didn’t think too much about it and entered, holding the door with both his hands and poking his head from behind it: "D.Oooooooooo-yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah."

He saw that the latter wasn’t in his bed and opened the door completely. "Mwo? Where is he?" He turned back and went to the stairs. _Maybe he’s downstairs._

He went straight to the hangar.

 

 

 

 

Xiumin had been on his guards, not wanting Suho, Baekhyun or D.O to come. Their wolf being females, it would be dangerous for them to come near the wolf that may be in rut that was Kris’.  It being in rut would mean that they would probably have to throw Tao out as there was no way of explaining him what was happening without also explaining him that they were shape-shifters.

Ruts were dangerous. Between shape-shifters, they usually used it to describe the version of heat males experienced. They were both cycles when their animal selves would be receptive to take part in conceiving children. In these cycles, they would behave the most like beasts.

As, in the animal world, rape was a normal thing, they had to be careful when the males entered ruts as they often didn't wait to hear consent.  

So Xiumin had stayed half asleep all night being extra alert of any movement or scent that came close to them. With the trap on the hangar’s ceiling open - as it constantly was - he could hear the things happening outside and that made his sleep even more difficult.

When Baekhyun came down the stairs, he sure heard him. He stood up fast and, seeing that Lay was doing the same he gestured him that he would go.

He stopped the younger man before he would enter the hangar and pushed him into the staircase.

"Hyung, what-"

"Don’t go in the hangar."

"Why? Did something happen?" He barely yelled.

"Don’t be so loud."

Baekhyun nodded and his elder continued.

"Kris might be in rut."

"Really?" There was uneasiness in his voice.  

"Yeah."

Xiumin didn’t want to tell Baekhyun the story as he thought it could trigger the younger man but he understood anyway by the face the Chinese one was giving him. His eyes enlarged and he quickly asked :

"Is everyone okay?"

Xiumin sighed.

"Tao is with Suho and D.O, I don’t know how he’s feeling right now but we stopped Kris before he could do the worst."

Hearing that, Baekhyun ran to the Chinese’s dorm and went straight to the couple’s room. After entering and seeing the three of them on the bed – Tao was clinging to Suho whose hand was on the younger’s head and D.O was just sleeping next to them –, he went to sit on the bed, calmer, which made D.O wake up.

"You’re cute when you sleep," Baekhyun mocked him. 

"Shut up," the doe-eyed man answered, annoyed for the other had scared him.

"I heard from Xiumin-hyung," Baekhyun declared more seriously, "how is he doing?"

"He vomited yesterday. He got pretty scared."

"I see."

They both looked at the Chinese boy in silence. 

D.O turned slightly so he could see Baekhyun. He knew that horrible images were probably being played in the latter’s head. It was visible that he wasn’t present mentally, he was somewhere else, a place they were still trying to pull him out from.

He gazed Tao again. _Poor kid._

Suho opened his eyes and, making sure not to move his body, he greeted them with a good morning which pulled Baekhyun out of his brain’s dark corners. They both reciprocated.

Baekhyun looked at the leader for some time and finally asked the question that was burning his lips:

"Hyung?" 

Suho hummed in response.

"What’s going to happen now?" 

The leader looked down, reflecting on the question.

"We’ll see, Baekhyun-ah. I’ll try my best to make things work out somehow." 

Tao grumbled in his sleep and Suho moved his hand away from his head. The boy opened his eyes and tensed as he realized he was cuddling with the Korean leader. He apologized.

"That’s okay," Suho smiled, "how are you feeling?"

"My head hurts," Tao replied simply.

"I guessed that would happen after you cried yourself to sleep."

The younger man lowered his head and the nurturing leader patted his back.

"What happened…Where's Kris?" The youngest man asked.

"The others are with him in the hangar right now. I apologize for his behaviour. I promise you I’ll beat him good for you later today, okay?"

"No! Please don’t!"

His reaction surprised them, the man who had just spoken especially.  _I was just joking when I said I would beat him up. I'm not that mean._

"He was probably just mad at me for all I’ve done...I’m sorry, I was the one at fault yesterday. I…I got horny and...He was there…He probably hates me...I’m so sorry for what I’ve done." He teared up saying the last sentence and Suho pulled him to him and patted his hair gently, confused by the Chinese's reaction.  _Shouldn't you be mad at him?_  The man sobbed and shook. 

"What happened was not your fault, Tao. Don’t you dare tell yourself that." He could feel the younger man gripping his shirt. "And you did not deserve what happened to you in any way." He stressed the last three words in order to get the concept through Tao’s ears.

The younger man kept apologizing between sobs, disregarding his words. When he heard him switch to Chinese, his heart broke and he decided that he was fed up. 

He gestured to Baekhyun and D.O to substitute him, got up and left the room.

 

 

 

 

He took the stairs to the hangar and got stopped before he was able to go in. 

"I can’t let you enter," Chen stated.

"I want to speak with Kris."

"I can’t let you."

"I want to speak with the fellow leader of this pack."

"Gē, I can’t let you."

"Let me pass, Chen."

Lay and Xiumin joined in.

"Bǎo bèi, he might be in rut, you know it could be dangerous for you."

"If he tries to lay one finger on me, I’ll enshroud him under tons of water."

"You say that but-"

"He tried to rape Tao, Xiumin-hyung. I need to have a talk with him and you _will_ let me pass or I’ll transform your room into a soaked mess and make algae grow on your floor. No one hurts my kids."

With that said he pushed the shocked Chinese bun away and entered the hangar looking for Kris. He saw him sleeping on one of the couches and went to grab him by the collar. 

As he wasn’t waking up he splashed cold water onto his face and the man slowly opened his eyes.

"Suho? What-"

"Let’s have a talk leader to leader, shall we?"

He threw him back on the couch and sat on the one in front of him. He rested his elbows on his legs and joined his hands together. 

Kris not remembering what had happened the night before looked at him cluelessly. He took a glance at the other Chinese men for help but they just left. _What is this betrayal?_

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?"

"No," he let out, nervous, "what happened?"

"You tried to rape Tao. That’s what happened."

He widened his eyes, a flash of memory passing in front of them.  _Holy shit. No._

"Oh yes you did, Kris. We are lucky that Xiumin-hyung woke up or you would have gone all the way. I don’t know what you told him but he’s blaming himself and you better make up for it or I’ll kick your ass back in China."

"Of course I will!"

His eyes held grave concern. 

He grabbed his head with his hands. "I don’t even remember…I remember going to him because he was rolled in a ball on the living room’s couch but after that…Shit, I totally lost it."

"How can you still lose control like that, Kris? You were born with this animal in you and you still can’t control it? You understand that you’ll have to work on that: we literally live next to the Red Light District; you’ll need to learn how to cope with horny humans."

"I’m sorry…"

"You better be. But it’s not to me you need to apologize to."

Kris nodded and lowered his head. Suho continued:

"I want to tell Tao."

"About what?"

"Wow, you’re so dumb."

"But what? What do you want to tell Tao?"

"About the pack and us being shape-shifters, babo."

"Oooh."

"What do you think?"

"You’re asking me for my opinion?" Kris laughed.

"I remind you that you’re a leader as well. If you could start acting like one, that would be great."

Kris stared at him, shocked by the other's harsh words. 

"So what do you think?"

"I don’t think I would mind."  

"Great, at the same time we could explain to him why mister here tried to fucking rape him."

With that he stood up and left, Kris following him with his dumbfounded expression. He heard Chen’s laugh before the others re-entered the place where they took their meals.

 

 

 

 

Suho went back in his room and as the others were looking expectantly at him he started:

"I talked with Kris. He is not angry with you and will apologize to you later."

"He’s not?" Tao, who had stopped crying, asked for confirmation.

"No, he’s not. He believes rightfully that he has done you wrong and that he acted like a complete asshole."

Tao lowered his head and wiped his tears. "Thank you, Suho" he mumbled, his chin shaky. The pack’s mom went up to him to ruffle his hair and the younger man wined: "Hey! Don’t!" 

The leader laughed.

 

 

 

 

They went to work normally that day, Baekhyun took the day off yet again to keep Tao company.

The leaders had decided that when they would come back from work they would have a proper talk all together – a family discussion like Suho had called it -.

When they arrived at the pack’s home the Korean leader asked Chen to go fetch the two that stayed home.

"Yo! Can you come down? The leaders want all of us to have a talk together," he said.

"Oh! We’re having a family talk," Baekhyun presumed.

"Yep. That’s exactly it."

They went downstairs and saw that everyone was already sitting on the couch so they did the same.

When Tao glanced at Kris, the latter averted his gaze, not gathering up the courage to face him yet. The younger man didn’t receive it that way. He was divided between being mad at the guy for not assuming his faults in front of him, being scared that he was actually angrier with him than he was in the beginning and being sad that Kris didn’t want to look at him anymore.

"So we’re all gathered here today-" Suho started but was interrupted.

"Oh god, don’t start like that," Baekhyun scoffed.

The leader sighed and continued:

"Kris and I talked about this earlier today: because of last nights events and because we believe Tao has been getting rather close to the rest of the pack, we think he has the right to know." Suho could feel Lay sending him his approval and it reassured him, warming his heart at the same time.  

Chen then snorted.

"Why are you laughing?"

"It’s funny. You just knew that we would all approve to tell him so you didn’t even bother asking us beforehand."

Tao was anticipating the worst. He was scared that they would tell him now that they were people sent for him. He was scared that the only people he had grown to trust in a long time would actually have never existed and that they were only characters being played. _God no. Please no._

"Don’t worry, Tao," the leader reassured him, "it’s not something about you, it’s rather…something about us."

"It’s not you, it’s me..." Baekhyun teased.

"Please stop breaking the course of my thoughts. Listen to me until the end. Don’t be scared."

As Tao nodded, Suho understood he could continue.

"Okay, so you’ve probably heard of shape-shifters, right?"

"You’re a street gang."

Suho mentally facepalmed.

There had been words going around Tokyo. They had started as the closest thing to reality: monsters that could be humans one second and beasts the next. As time passed, the story distorted itself passing by "gang of kids that could become animals" and "members of the yakusa that were inwardly beasts used to kill those that didn’t pay their debts"  to "street gangs that called themselves by animal names". The last rumor was probably the one Tao had heard.

"No, we are not a street gang. We are people that can transform into animals."

Tao stared at him for a couple of seconds, turned to Baekhyun and then to Chen. He looked at all the members, skipping Kris, and, as they all looked serious, he just turned back to Suho sporting a disgusted expression.

"I’m judging you hard on your choice of humor right now."

"Oh, for fuck’s sake, Suho," D.O snapped, "just show him."

"Okay, fine," he replied, "Kris, will you?"

"Why me?" 

"Because you." The fellow leader smiled sardonically at him when the Chinese man simply stared at him, frowning. 

Kris sighed.

Tao still felt uncomfortable with the animosity the two often displayed. He had learned to see it as only teasing, as only a game between the two, but he still was under the impression that it wasn't. Especially after all that had happened the night before. Suho's comments seemed exceptionally frigid.

He watched as Kris stood up and stripped. _He fucking stripped_ and even after what happened the night before, he still thought the guy was hot, just a bit – a big big bit, like American bit (why are there food portions in restaurants so big?) – more of a jerk. So, obviously, he blushed.

Afterwards, the surreal happened and the _way too hot_ body of the Chinese man became a dog. Tao jumped away from the sofa, tripped over one of the boy’s legs and fell on the ground. He still continued backing away while screaming. The other’s couldn’t help but laugh and Tao felt betrayed.

"So yeah, you can see I wasn’t joking," Suho commented. The youngest man was looking at him, tears in his eyes, being flabbergasted by the way the latter acted. _How can you act like this is normal? This isn’t fucking normal. People don’t naturally become dogs._

"You transform in dogs?" Tao faltered.

"No, we transform in wolves," Suho explained.

"Well, technically we don’t have any proof that we don’t actually transform in some race of dog," Chen debated, "so he _could_  be right."

"Yeah. But saying that we transform as wolves is way manlier," Baekhyun added, mockingly. 

Tao looked at them shocked. _What the hell? Am I dreaming?_

"We thought that, if you were planning on living with us any longer, we had to let you know."

"We trust you enough to think that you won’t go speaking of this to some random person," the healer spoke.

"I…I won’t…"

They waited for Tao to exit his shocked state and then asked him to sit back down so they could explain him what it implied. Kris changed back to his human form and they pursued their family talk.

"Soooo, eh," Suho began, "I don’t know where to start."

"Start with what could lead to problems," Xiumin answered.

"Yeah," Chen agreed, "and then we can always just add stuff."

"Okay."

He arranged what he was going to say and then continued:

"Let’s start with...the emotions. Okay, so, for some reason, we are really sensitive to the emotions of the people around us. So, if you get scared, sad or angry we will know. We’ve learned to control our emotions so that it’s not too annoying for other shape-shifters to be around us, but like, with humans it’s different as they don’t realize that they are actually sending emotion vibes to others but yeah."

He laughed awkwardly. He knew that what he was saying sounded completely stupid, but it was his truth.

"If you could try controlling your feelings it would be much appreciated," Lay added. The others agreed. 

"Okay…I’ll try."

"Next…" Suho was hesitant.

"I think we should inform him about ruts and heats," Xiumin proposed.

"Heats, like cats’ ?" Tao asked.

"Yes."

"So, like, you’re basically always horny?"

"Yes. That’s basically it."

"Oh my god," Tao laughed.

"Those of us who change in female wolves experience heats and those of us who change in male wolves experience ruts."

"Yo," Baekhyun cut him, "while we're talking about it. Cause like I did researches on internet after you told me and I've always wondered: why would we use the term 'rut' if we’re wolves? Aren’t those for deers and stuff."

"Baekhyun, we are shape-shifters, we don’t really follow how society works."   

"Ah."

"But yeah. We act a lot like animals when in those phases even when in human forms"

"And when we feel that someone else is aroused well our first thought is that we want to fornicate, you know."

Tao was trying to follow but everything sounded so far-fetched. He did think he got where they were trying to go. 

"Xiumin thinks that might be the reason why Kris acted that way yesterday...But that doesn’t mean that what he did was okay, that's not what I'm saying. We just need this pup to learn how to control his desires..."

"I’m not a pup!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

At the mention of the night before, he felt himself tense up. Lay was the first one to react by speaking to him in Mandarin with a: "We won’t let it happen again. Bié dān xīn." Tao, understanding that the reason behind Lay’s attempt to calm him was because he had felt his feelings, repositioned himself on the couch. He concentrated himself on his feelings and tried to not feel too much but _how is someone even supposed to do that? We are humans, we have emotions._

He coughed and changed to another subject:

"You said that some of you were females and some of you were males?"

"Well, it’s not us. It’s the animals we change into."

Tao nodded and Chen decided to play a game:

"Try guessing which one of us are males and which one are females."

"Eh...How am I supposed to do that?"

"Just take guesses. Who do you think is female?"

"Suho?"

"Yep."

"What? How did you know? Do I look like a girl?"

"Well, they call you mom so I just assumed you were female."

The others laughed.

"Okay next."

"I don’t know…"

"You can always just say who you think is male."

"Well…Eh...D.O?"

"Why do you think _he’s_ a male? He’s eomma number two!"

"Because he looks manly to me."

"I don’t look manly to you?" Suho pouted.

"You look...less manly."

Chen and Baekhyun guffawed.

"Okay so, Kris-gē, Xiumin-gē, Lay-gē and me are males and Suho-gē, D.O and Baekhyun are females."

"Our wolves are," Baekhyun specified.

"Yes, our wolves."

"And you were all born this way?"

"I was booorn this waaaaaaaaay," Chen sang.

"I wasn’t," Baekhyun informed.

"Oh, so like you were transformed or something." 

The Korean man's heart clenched at the memories and both Chen and D.O glanced at him, sensing it.  

"Yeah," he answered none the less.  

"Ah, okay."

"But for us," Xiumin continued looking at the others for confirmation, "I think we all grew up with shape-shifter parents and all that."

"Is it any different from how we are raised?"

"Well, we don’t know how _you_ were raised but I think it’s not that different," Suho answered, "how were your childhood days like?"

"Heum…I don’t want to talk about it."

"Ah but don’t be afraid to tell us anything. We told you we were shape-shifters after all. We should have built a relationship of trust, no?"

"It’s not that I don’t trust you…"

"He doesn’t want to talk about it, gē," Chen intervened, "don’t push it."

Suho pouted that special pout of his and Tao felt bad for not wanting to open up to him.

"Don’t feel forced," D.O added, "you can tell us whenever you’re ready."

 

 

 

 

After the discussion, they ate supper – D.O’s special kimchi spaghetti that the pack loved - and next, Tao decided he wanted to go take a shower. He had smelt like sweat and puke all day; it was about time that he decided to go wash up.

Suho proposed himself to go with him when the latter asked, saying that he had to go anyway for himself. So they showered together and went to bed afterwards.

 

 

 

 

"Baekhyun?" Tao called him when they were lying down. 

Said man hummed in response. 

"I had a question." 

The other hummed again.  

"What’s a transformation like?"

Baekhyun opened his eyes to look at the ceiling. That was one of the things he didn’t enjoy remembering. 

He sighed.

"For me, it was hell."

"It’s that bad?"

"I don’t know if it’s like that for everyone. I had stuff going on at that point too so…yeah."

Tao paused. Baekhyun wasn’t sure if he was done.

"Would I need to be like you if I wanted to be a real member of the pack?" It shocked Baekhyun that Tao would ask that. For them he was already part of the pack but it seemed like the man that he found hiding in the dark a few days ago didn’t feel that way yet.

"You are already."

"I am? But it’s been like five, six days."

"I guess we came to like you fast."

The Chinese man laughed.

"We would probably not have told you about us if you weren’t. The others told me that Suho defended you as one of his sons this morning. He creeped the shit out of them and Kris."

They chuckled and there was another pause.

"Thank you, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun closed his eyes and smiled. 


	4. Guilt Is a Blinding Light

"Here, your drink." Baekhyun said and the man in front of him smiled from ear to ear, showing off his white teeth.

That man had been coming at the café every morning since the Korean shape-shifter had come back to work. 

_Tall and lean, big eyes, ears sticking out, bangs coming down on his forehead…He presented himself to Baekhyun with his baryton voice and the latter awkwardly gave him his name as well, quickly switching to asking him what he wanted to buy. "Do people usually do that?" He wondered internally. "Present themselves when going to buy something...I guess really extroverted people do. But, then again, I would consider myself to be out-going and I don't just give the waiter my name when I go to buy a steak..."_

_They had been speaking in Japanese but as soon as the man had heard his name he switched to Korean:_

_"Oh! Hanguk saram isseyo?"_

_When the petite man nodded, the other seemed like the happiest man on Earth._

_"Gomawoyo, Baekhyun-ssi! Naeil bwayo!"_

It had been a week since their first encounter. When he had a day off, D.O told him that a client named Chanyeol had come to their work place and had asked to see him.

The day after, the tall man was there again.

"I wanted to see you yesterday but you had a day off," he pouted.

"Ah. I’m sorry about that…The usual?"

"Hm!"

He could feel Chanyeol’s gaze on him while he was making the client’s mocha and it was making him uncomfortable. In the beginning, Chanyeol would stare at him like a creep and would go away after taking his drink but these days he stayed and went to talk with Luhan, glancing at him once in a while.

He simply assumed the guy had a crush on him.

 

 

 

 

Xiumin brought the iced Americano that his friend had ordered to his table.  No sugar and no cream; he was too manly for that.

"Here you go, Lu."

"Thanks, Baozi!"

They proceeded to watch the interaction between Baekhyun and Chanyeol. They had been shipping it since the first time the taller had set foot in the café.

"When is Baekhyun gonna stop being in denial in your opinion?" Luhan wondered.

"I don’t know. A week or two maybe? Maybe a month. I think it’s just that he doesn’t want to fall in love, again."

"Oh, I can understand that."

"How long until Chanyeol asks him on a date?"

"Aaaah, I don’t know. He looks pretty shy even though he's an extrovert."

"I’m betting twenty dollars on a week."

"I’m betting they won’t even go on a date. They’ll skip that part."

"Pff. Pervert."

"People aren’t as romantic as in your times, anymore. You’ll understand that after you give me those twenty dollars."

"You’re a month younger than me, Lu. We’ve lived through the same 'times' as you say."

Luhan shrugged. Chanyeol was coming to their table so they greeted him. 

"I’m gonna go back to work now," Xiumin announced, "bye bye!"

"Okay, bye!"

Chanyeol sat down and started speaking with the Chinese man.

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun rested his elbows on the counter and sighed, passing his hands in his hair.  

"What’s wrong?"

"He has a crush on me."

"I know. You’ve been repeating yourself, Baekhyun." 

"But I don’t want him to have a crush on me. He’s weird. He's been coming here every day just to see me."

Xiumin sighed and Luhan laughed at his table. He could still hear the two from where he was. Chanyeol looked at him with question marks in his eyes and furrowed eyebrows. 

"What if he starts following me around?" Baekhyun added.

"He won’t."

"But what if he _does_?"

"Then you’ll have a guardian angel following you around. That’s all."   

Baekhyun pouted and went back to work.

"He’s impossible," Xiumin laughed.

"Indeed," Luhan said, coming to him, "well, Baozi, it has been nice but I’ll have to go to work. Gotta go prepare!"  

"Okay, see you tomorrow!"

The eldest man escorted the younger to the door.

"Come by my work one day; it gets boring sometimes."

"Would I have to pay?"

"Yeah…"

"Mmh…"

"I’ll repay you by treating you to coffee. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Okay well, see you tomorrow, Baozi!"

"See you!"

The both of them had been friends since a bit after the pack had established itself in Japan. Luhan, the coffee lover he was, had come by one day because the host club he worked for was close by and they had found out that he shared with them the shape-shifting ability.

Luhan had slowly been coming more often and, with him being Chinese, being born in the same year as him and loving coffee, Xiumin quickly became friends with him. He had been the first one to give him the nickname of "Baozi" because he thought the man looked really cute even though he was older than him and cherished him as if he was younger.

Luhan was a deer shape-shifter – funny because the first character to his name actually meant deer- that worked as a host in a club called Hotaru no Tachi. He had moved to Japan when he had turned eighteen with a friend and, because of problems that occurred, he had left her and had started working in the Red Light district for Hotaru-san.  He didn’t hate his job and would often do special services and additional hours to get payed more.

It didn’t bother Xiumin that was pretty open-minded. He acted the same way with the other as he would with someone that did a more common job. However, he had to admit that it could get awkward when, for exemple, he would pass by his house and disturb him in the middle of work.

 

 

 

 

Kris had finally had his first day off since the incident. The others had been scared of him staying with Tao while they were working because, if something were to happen, nobody would be there to stop him.

After the week, they had confirmed that Kris hadn't been in rut and had just lost control. They still asked Lay to stay as well, just to be careful, and also because Tao was somewhat scared of the wolf after what had happened, understandably. 

Some of the members had been questioning the incident though. Indeed, it was possible for them to lose control, but Kris seemed to act completely normal with the females of the pack afterwards, which was rather strange. Chen was the first one to ask:

" _Hey, Xiumin-gē ?"_

_"What’s up?"_

_"Do you think...Tao could be, like, Kris’ mate?"_

_Xiumin studied him with a frown._

_"I mean, that would explain why he lost control so easily."  Chen had continued._

_His elder pondered on the supposition._

_"...And why he isn't any different with Suho-gē, Baekhyun and D.O."_

_He remained unanswered._

_"I think I’ll just go to bed, sorry, gēge."_

_"I see it happening," the older man gave his opinion, finally._

_"Really? It’s not just me?"_

_"No, I also thought about it."_

Since then, the both of them had been watching their interactions more closely. Baekhyun had eventually been dragged into believing their theory.

When Kris joined him, Tao was in the Chinese’s dorm, watching a movie.

"Hey," the older man started.

"Hey."

"What are you watching?"

"Fearless."

"With Jet Li?"

"Yeah."

"Can I join you?"

"Sure."

Tao slid at one end of the couch and Kris sat on the other one. There could have been two or even three other people sitting between them as the space was so big. They didn’t talk and the shape-shifter could feel Tao was nervous.  

He felt sorry, knowing it was most likely his fault.

No, it was his fault. 

He stole glances at the man. His slim legs were crossed the way girls usually did and covered by pajama pants that had originally been his.

His muscles would react during action scenes. He could see them clenching and unclenching. His lifted foot would move around while his eyes would follow the fighter’s actions.

When he would realize Kris was watching him, he would shift and tense up.

Although the sceneries in the movie were breathtaking, Kris preferred looking at Tao from the corner of his eyes. 

When the movie finished, neither of them moved. The ending to this movie was frustrating and quite tragic and Kris saw Tao coolly stamping the tears from his eyes with his fingers.

They stared at the generic in silence. Kris thought it was about time he talked so he did:

"Sorry."

"What was that?" Tao turned to him.

"I apologize for what happened last week." Kris explained while looking straight into Tao’s eyes.

Tao diverted his gaze. 

"It was about time you apologized."

"Sorry. I acted like a jerk with you."

"Yeah, you did."

"I wanted to apologize for that."

There was a pause.

"I’m sorry as well," the younger man broke the silence, surprising Kris, "you must have been mad. First, I install myself in your home and then I...get turned on in front of-"

"No!" The Chinese leader was frowning. "I wasn’t angry then and I am not angry with you now. Don’t-"

"You aren’t angry?"

"No, I’m not? I was just scared for the pack in the beginning."

"You looked like you wanted to rip my head off me the other day."

"I did?"

"Yeah, it was terrifying."

Kris sucked in his lips. He didn’t remember anything about that night but he felt like Tao would get mad if he told him.

He decided to do it anyway feeling that the problem wouldn’t be completely cleared if they weren’t honest with each other: 

"Actually, I...I don’t remember anything."

"What? Nothing?"

"Well, I remember going to close the TV and seeing you rolled in a ball on the couch and, like, you smelled aroused…But after that I don’t really remember                 anything."  

"That’s convenient."

"I feel bad for that, but I really don’t remember anything. I lost it...Do you mind telling me what I did?"

Tao shifted and took a deep breath.

"In the beginning, we…We were just making out...but, at some point, you just pulled me off the couch and pushed me in your room and started being...violent."

From the bruises that Tao had on his face for a few days after that, he knew he had punched him.

"You like…You didn’t listen to me and you would hurt me when I would try to free myself." He paused. "I really thought you would…" His voice cracked. He took a deep breath and continued: "It was scary."

They both took a moment.

"I’m really sorry."

"It’s okay, I understand now."

"I’m still sorry."

Tao laughed.

"Are you Canadian or what? Stop apologizing."

"Sor- Hum...Actually, yes. I have my Canadian nationality."

"What, for real?"

"Yeah. I spent a couple of years of my life there with my mom."

The younger man giggled again and Kris couldn't help but smile. _You’re cute when you laugh._

They actually talked a bit after that and Tao was surprised by the other's amicable personality. They learned that they had a lot of things in common and got to know each other’s mentalities. Tao actually thought that they could develop a friendship, against all odds.

In the middle of the conversation, Kris started feeling unwell.

"Hey, your face is red, are you okay?" Tao approached his hand from his gēge’s head to take his temperature but, understanding what was happening, Kris quickly got up warning his dìdi not to follow him.

He went on the second floor and straight to the bathroom. He pulled his pants and boxers down and did what he had to do.

He came but he still didn’t feel the heat in his body go away.

He tried taking a cold shower and jerked off again but it still didn’t work. He thought he would go mad. _Why is nothing working?_

He decided to call Xiumin even though he knew the other was at work.

"Kris?"

"I need help."

"What’s up? Did something happen?"  

"I might be in rut in the end."

"You got aroused again?"

"Yeah."

"Where's Tao." 

"Downstairs. I told him not to follow me." 

"Did you jerk off?"

"I just did, twice. I even took a cold shower but nothing works, gē. I’m going crazy."

"Okay, calm down. We’ll figure something out. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I was just chatting with Tao and it happened out of the blue. I’m in the bathroom on the second."

"I’ll talk with Luhan, maybe he knows someone that could help you."

"Thank you, gē."

"Stay in there for now."

"Okay. Will do.'

 

 

 

 

Xiumin left work earlier with the approbation of Baekhyun.

He had visited Luhan at his job a few times before already. He would go in the backstore and wait for him or knock and, if he was lucky, someone would answer.

It seemed he was lucky.

"Oh! Baozi!" The host named Makoto answered, "Luhan's working right now. You can wait inside though, he has a break soon."

"Thanks, Key."

Makoto was his host name and Key was his real one. The shape-shifter used to call him by his host name but the latter didn’t like it.

"Xiumin!" This time it was the host named Bling Bling, his real name was Jonghyun though. He still liked being called Bling Bling a lot.

"Hey, Bling Bling! How have you both been doing?"

"Great! I’ll go get Lu, wait a sec."

 

 

 

 

"So, that’s the situation. Do you happen to know any other shape-shifter that does your job and that would accept offering his services to him?"

"I don’t know any other shape-shifter, sorry, Baozi…"

Xiumin sighed. He had been hoping that maybe he would refer him to someone and their problem would be solved but it seemed he would have to find something else.

"I wouldn’t mind doing the job though."

"What? No, I wouldn’t let you."

"Why?"

"Well you’re my friend and…"

"I wouldn’t let him hurt me. You know me, I’m a man."

Xiumin stared at him, silent. 

"And I have telekinesis. I’ll just throw him on a wall or something if things turn bad."

The older man still wasn’t convinced but, after a moment of thinking about it, he gave in:

"Okay, but we’ll still pay you."

"I wasn't expecting any less."

 

 

 

 

"Kris?"

"Yeah."

"Can I enter?"

"Give me two seconds."

He heard the gurgling of water and the sound of his feet on the bathtub signaling him that he had been bathing.

After a moment, Kris told him he could enter.

"So?" The younger man asked and the other explained him that Luhan was going to come by when his shift would end. The taller man thanked him and Xiumin asked him if he wanted food.

"Fuck yes, I didn’t eat anything since I came in here."

"‘Kay, I’ll bring you something."

"Thank you so much, gēge."

 

 

 

 

"Is Kris-hyung okay?" D.O asked him when Xiumin arrived in the hangar after bringing food to Kris.

"Yeah, well, you know."

"Oh."

"Luhan’s gonna come by later tonight. I asked him for help with Kris."

"Does that mean your friend's gonna bang our leader?" Chen teased.

"Don’t rub it in my face, Chen."

Baekhyun, Chen and Xiumin got aware of Tao's slight jealousy after Chen’s remark. _Well, even if he’s not Kris’ mate, we can be pretty sure that he has a crush on him._

 

 

 

 

When Luhan arrived, he bowed to the others and Xiumin presented him to Tao who had never met him.

He then led his friend to the bathroom of the second floor and was surprised to see Kris wasn’t there anymore. He went on the first floor and sensed him in his room. He knocked and, when he got an answer, he entered.

"Kris, this is Luhan. Luhan, this is Kris."

"We’ve met before, Baozi," Luhan laughed.

"I know..." He waited for a moment and then sighed. "Well, I’ll leave the two of you alone now."

Xiumin left and went back to the hangar where everyone was. No one wanted to hear or smell the duo.

 

 

 

  

"Do you have a safeword?" Kris asked directly after Xiumin left. It came as a surprise to the other.

"Huh? Safeword, eh- Rubik."

"Okay."

He didn’t wait a second and just pinned the other to the wall while forcing his lips on his. That obviously shocked Luhan and so he pushed the other man away: 

"Wow, there. That's not how it works." 

The host wasn't mad, he understood. It was a common misconception that him being a prostitute meant he would be all submissive and accept everything the other one wanted him to do. While it was true he was usually playing the submissive role and also usually did everything his clients asked for, he had been thought that he had to keep control to ensure his safety. 

He noticed how desperate the taller man was and his efforts to restrain his urges - heck, Luhan could see the sweat coming down from his forehead due to his inner conflict - and also noticed the worry on his face as he realized suddenly kissing him probably wasn't alright. Kris took a step back. 

"I'm sorry...Hum...How-" 

"It's alright. All you need to do is ask for what you want and I'll tell you if that's fine with me or not." 

The man nodded, "alright." 

Seeing he wouldn't move, Luhan continued, "Want to kiss me?" He took a step towards him. 

The other gulped. "Yeah." He spoke with a shy voice. 

Luhan tiptoed, looking straight into the taller man's eyes, mouth open and only a few centimeters away from the other's. "Then: do it." 

That was enough to make him dive back into the desire he had freely displayed previously, this time more mindful. He pressed his lips against the worker's eagerly; forcing the latter's back to hit the wall. 

Luhan swiftly entered a similar mindset. He let Kris have what he wanted and be dominant with him but he still did things like licking the taller man’s bottom lip and biting it. He could feel the other’s hot breath on his lips when he exhaled. He let out a moan.

"Should we go on the bed?" 

"No." 

The wolf moved his hands from Luhan’s arms to his shoulder to push him more on the wall and tried deepening the kiss even more. He moved his head to make sure he would taste every bit of the smaller man’s lips. 

The deer understood he wanted more. "Can I touch you?" He lowered his hand on the other's torso, above his navel, his fingers pointing south, to make him understand what he was referring to.

"Please," Kris grunted.  

The hand went down the other’s abdomen and in his pants.  He noted that the taller man had yet to become aroused, surprisingly, and made it his duty to make him.  

He gently wrapped his fingers around his member and pumped it once, making the Chinese leader moan in that deep voice of his.

He stopped kissing the smaller man and rested his head on his shoulder while the deer gave him a handjob. He groaned when he felt the host rub his thumb on the base of his glans momentarily. 

But still nothing. It frustrated the wolf. His dick just wouldn’t get hard.  _What the fuck._

The deer, sensing his feelings, spoke up once again, "Mind if I use my mouth?" He opened his mouth, letting his tongue hang out a bit and pointed it, raising an eyebrow. 

Never would he have looked at his friend in that way but in this particular situation, the wolf couldn't help but think the host looked  _fuckable._

"Shit. No, please go ahead."  

Rapidly, Luhan got down on his knees, the other’s hands making their way to his hair. He took the tip of the member between his lips and caressed the balls with his hand. However, Kris was having none of it and just thrust in the host’s mouth.

The latter was startled for a second.  _Shit, calm down. I don’t feel like dying because I choked on your cock._

Following what the taller man was asking for, the smaller one sucked on the member. Standing, Kris groaned and grasped the deer’s hair tighter.

 


	5. The Closed Eyes Will See Neither the Danger nor the Safety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for sexual assault, blood, mention of trauma and implied mention of panic attacks.

 

 

Luhan pulled back, Kris letting go of his hair, and sat down on his legs. _This isn’t gonna work._ The man’s dick was definitely decided to not get hard and all the frustration without finding release was seriously exhausting his client and annoying the worker that wished to help.

Technically, Luhan could try other things – he knew many things after all – but somehow it felt as if his friend just wasn’t in the mood to try anymore.

“I’m sorry,” the man spoke.

“It’s alright. You don’t need to be sorry; it happens.”

The host could feel it though, the wolf was still full of lust and he knew why that was happening. Xiumin had been talking to him about the new Chinese guy that joined the pack and how Kris didn’t like him one bit in the beginning. He told him about the incident and kept updating him on the matter. When he came to see him for help, he knew it probably wouldn’t work as Xiumin had also informed him of the trio’s theory. He had thought he could try and help but it was visibly not working.

He saw Kris go sit on his bed, depressed, and thought he could attempt another strategy to help the latter.

“Hey, stay here; I think I might have an idea.”

“Okay. Thank you, gē.” There was a sad smile on the man’s face.

He left the room and went to the hangar.

 

 

 

 

"Tao?" He started while wiping the corner of this lips with his thumb. The younger man turned to him and he continued: "May I speak with you?"

"Ah...Sure, gē."

The shape-shifter signed him to follow him with his head and the human stood up. They left the hangar and went up the stairs to the second.

"He wiped his lips," Chen said giving a knowing look to Xiumin.

" _I know_ , Chen. Can you _please_ shut your mouth."

 

 

 

 

Luhan sat the younger man on the couch and joined him.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" Tao asked trying not to think about the fact that the man facing him had just been doing whatever sexual activities with his crush. He mainly tried not to show on his face that it was bothering him. 

"I know they’ve informed you about them being shape-shifters but I need to ask: did they explain you what 'mates' were."

As Tao was staring at him clueless, he simply pursued:

"Guess not." 

He sighed.

"Oh well, that means I’m gonna be the one to explain the concept to you. Okay, so, you see: in nature, some animal species are monogamous which means they will only take one partner for the rest of their lifetime and in those cases we will call them the 'mated pair'. So the calling 'mate' is a mix of that mentality and the humans’ one of soul-mates. And so, there is this…thing - belief - among shape-shifters that says that they will find their 'one true love', their mate, and that they will stay with them for the rest of their life."

"That really sounds like something straight out of a shoujo manga."

Luhan laughed.

"It does. But yeah, no, it’s true."

"You really have weird lives."

"You have to know, Tao - and that’s why I’m telling you all this - that I think you might be Kris’."

The younger man processed the announcement.

"You think I might be Kris’ mate?"

"Well, that’s what Xiumin, Baekhyun, Chen and I believe."

Tao frowned but the host saw a glimpse of a smile forming on his lips.

"That would also explain why he got crazy when you got turned on and why he’s been so on edge lately."

The human blushed. _I made him go crazy._ He thought it was a nice feeling to know he could make someone go crazy like the older man said.

"And now, he’s really going to go mad because jerking off doesn’t satisfy him and being with someone else seems to turn him off."

"What…What am I supposed to do?"

"It's up to you to decide. I would tell you to go to him right now, but you probably don't have any experience in the matter and I don’t want you to feel forced. We can find other ways to help him but if what you were waiting for was an approval from him then you will wait for a long time because he isn’t going to realize it himself any soon."

Tao laughed at the last sentence. _He’s in denial._

"Are you sure?"

"I can’t be a hundred percent sure but I know you have a crush on him so you probably would have wanted to do it anyway."

"True."

Luhan smiled. 

"I’ll just warn you before you go. Shape-shifters have this barrier between when they are truly their animal self and their more human self which we call our 'wall' and, the pack might not know about it, but, from experience, I know we can notice it in the other’s eyes when they lose it as they will turn red."

"Last time it happened."

"I’m not even surprised. If it happens again, try your best to push him away, cry out and _get away._  You don’t want him coming inside you with a lost wall."

"Why?"

"I’ll explain it to you later. When you’re older or I'll leave Suho do that job. Now, go."

Tao was pushed to the door and they walked down the stairs together. Reaching the Chinese’s dorm, Luhan gave him a tap on the back while saying: "He’s in his room. Have fun."

 

 

 

 

"Kris?" When he heard his name, said man quivered.

_Oh no. Don’t come in._

He heard him open the door. He stood up and distanced himself. Tao closed the door behind him and the shape-shifter’s breath hitched.

_Fucking leave._

They exchanged stares for what seemed like way to long for the both of them, Kris trying to control his breathing and Tao wondering what he was supposed to do. _Do I go up to him? What should I do? Explain him? Skip that, just kiss him? Uuuuugh. What am I supposed to do?_ It was making him nervous and he slowly started regretting his decision. _I’m not like Luhan, I don’t know how to do this._

He turned slightly to the door.  _I should just go._

He turned back to Kris. _But I want…_

The older man saw the other lick his lips before biting them all the while still staring at him. He gulped. _Why am I turned on by him only?_

"Tao," he growled, "stop." 

Said man took a deep breath and, pushing his nervousness away, replied: "Make me."

That was how their lips reunited and it felt _so damn right._

The wolf let his hand wonder on the human’s body, soon getting rid of his shirt. _It’s in the way._ Feeling the skin of the other’s belly, of his back, of his torso, he felt the urge to compliment the entirety of his body.

He moved his lips down Tao’s jaw, liking there the bit of saliva that had rolled out of his mouth, and kissed his neck. The smooth skin under his lips was such a pleasant feeling. He licked it and sucked on it, the smaller man’s scent invading his nostrils. He bit his skin and looked up when he heard the loud moan that escaped Tao’s mouth.

He kissed his Adam’s apple and grinned when the human whimpered. He moved his hands to the latter’s hips to hold him as he could feel him trembling. He gave the guy’s collarbones a lick and Tao breathed out his name.

He looked up at him. The guy was biting hard on his lips, supressing the sounds that wanted to be set free from doing so. He caressed them heedless of the electricity that it sent through them. They made eye contact. _So fucking hot._

 _"_ Let me hear your voice," he demanded.

Tao grabbed his nape and pulled him closer in another heated kiss. They opened their mouths again and again in the hope of tasting more of the other. The wolf’s ears were pleased with the sounds of pleasure that the smaller man emitted.

His tongue roamed in the other’s mouth while his hands did the same on his body. It felt like their tongues belonged in the warmth of the other’s mouth.

The smaller man pulled the older’s shirt up and when it was finally off he took a look at the toned chest, he saw the muscles contract when Kris pulled him closer. His eyes closed and his vocal chords vibrated; the taller man had just rubbed their still clothed members together and the human was doing his best to keep standing. He was supporting himself by hanging his arms around the other’s neck.

The shape-shifter pressed him on the wall and moved his leg between his, rubbing his hard-on with it. Tao breathed his name out and planted his nails in the guy’s back as his legs gave up. He looked up at his crush with pleading eyes: "I want you so fucking bad right now."

 

 

 

 

When Luhan came back down, Suho quickly inquired where the other was. When the deer answered the leader got alarmed.

"You let him go?" D.O screamed.

"Are you out of your mind?" Suho added standing up, panicking.

If Luhan had been in his deer shape his ears would have gone back and his tail would have probably flattened and hid between his legs. Suho hurried to the stairs but Xiumin stopped him.

"Haven’t you noticed how Kris is around Tao?"

"I have and that’s why I don’t understand why this guy thought it was a good idea to leave the two of them alone when-"

"Suho. Tao is Kris’ mate."

He closed his mouth and opened it again to continue:

"You sound like you’re certain of what your saying."

"Well, I’m not _certain_ , but we’re four to think that."

He pointed the four in question.

"I didn’t force Tao to go," Luhan defended himself, "I explained him and let him go because he wanted to."

Suho sighed. "Well, I guess it can’t be helped." He sat back down and Xiumin gestured Luhan to do the same. 

"Aw, eomma is sad that his child is growing up so fast," Baekhyun teased and Chen laughed with him.

After a moment, they could start smelling the hormones in the air of the hangar. Baekhyun, D.O and Chen said they would go somewhere else in the meantime and Xiumin asked his friend if he could stay the night at his place.

Only Suho and Lay stayed.

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun had parted ways with Chen and D.O because they were going to a karaoke and he felt like going somewhere calmer.

In these streets, there were a lot of weird people - lot of intoxicated people, yes, but a lot of people that simply looked bizarre - : girls in red and black dresses with plunging necklines that fiddled with a strand of hair while having their arm entangled with a man’s; topless men that had as much belly and breast as pregnant women and that would go up to strangers with drunken smiles on their lips; muscled bald guys with tattoos all over their arms that stared at every people they passed and inspected their eyes as if they were enemies hiding behind masks; people that didn’t apologize when they bumped into you and people that you didn’t want to bump into.

The light signs suspended on the buildings that had writings Baekhyun still had difficulties reading would illuminate these different personalities.

However, the alleys crossing the main street were obscure and easy to hide in.

It's in one of them that Baekhyun was pulled.

"Who are you?" He cried out, terrified."Let go of me!" Nobody would hear his voice over the sounds of the city.

He tried jerking his hand away from the man’s grasp but _what the hell he’s fucking strong._  

The stranger pulled him deeper in the dark and threw him on a wall, Baekhyun hitting his head. He could feel cold raindrops starting to fall on his skin.  

"Let me fucking-"

The built man put a scabious hand on his mouth.

"Quiet down, beautiful."

The man started fondling him with his other hand.

"Oh! You’re a guy! I thought you were a girl." He laughed. "Oh well, not like I mind. You still looking fucking sexy."

Baekhyun was trying to push him away and when the man grabbed his behind he started kicking him.  _The chances that a situation like this would occur were so low but it still had to happen to me, right?_

The stranger turned him and pressed his head on the wall. "Will you fucking stop?" The man pronounced through gritted teeth. "It’ll be done soon…" He softened. 

The shape-shifter felt the man attach his hands together. _Fuck no. This is not happening. Please, no. Not again. "_ If you could just stop moving."

The rain was getting heavy and he could hear the citizens’ screams, trying to find somewhere to hide. His clothes were getting drenched.  

"Let me go!" Baekhyun cried out. The man slammed his head on the wall again and the wolf was sure he heard it crack. "Shut up! God. Just let me do my business and I’ll let you go after."

"Please, just let me go!" He sobbed, eyes closed from his head's throbbing pain. There were so many things going on in his mind at that moment.  

The man clicked his tongue and wiped Baekhyun’s cheek. "Come on, pretty face, I won’t hurt you. Just be nice with me and I’ll make you feel good back there." 

He circled where he thought the petite man’s asshole would be and the other clenched his fists.

 _Baekhyun, you need to get out of here right now so: do something. Think Baekhyun. Please think. Please._ 

His head was aching and everything was turning because of the multiple impacts he had received on it.

"Shit. So hot. You hear that, baby? You’re so fucking hot." He could hear the other unbuckle his belt while still holding on the shape-shifters hands.

_Your powers, Baekhyun. Use your fucking powers._

He did not have time to use them though. He felt the stranger pull his hands to the side and let them go. He heard a loud thud and turned around to rest his back on the wall.

He felt groggy but tried his best, nonetheless, to understand what had happened and what was still going on while backing away. He stumbled and fell to the ground on his arm, the roughness of the asphalt cutting through his skin. Feeling too exhausted to get up he stayed there and watched the scene. Someone had tackled the stranger to the ground and was now standing up in front of him while the other one tried getting up.

"Wanna fight?" The stranger spited. 

"Leave or I’ll call the police." 

The stranger didn’t wait to be asked twice and ran away, pushing the guy who had just arrived. The latter turned to Baekhyun, worry on his face.

 _Wait. I know him…Oh my god. No._ The shape-shifter felt like sinking into the ground. _This is so fucking embarrassing. Why did you have to come of all people?_

He tried to stand up but failed and fell back down, scratching his face on the ground.  

"Baekhyun!" He heard Chanyeol fret and felt him pull on his arm to help him back up.

The smaller man jerked away and fell on his ass. He winced.

"Gwaenchanayo?"

"Yes, Chanyeol. You didn’t need to intervene I could have managed by myself."

Said man lowered his head and untied Baekhyun’s hands without saying anything.

"...Thank you." The latter said when he finished and proceeded to rub his skin. Tears were threatening to roll down his face but the wolf was keeping them from doing so.

The tall man kneeled in front of him and inspected his face; his wet hair was sticking to his bloody face, his lips were blue and trembling along with his body's shivering. The café's client frowned, worried, and hugged him blindly. He patted his back and felt the others’ quivers as he started sobbing. He kissed his head multiple times trying his best to calm the other man, embracing him more tightly and trying to warm him up.    

"It’s okay now, you’re safe."

The cradled man froze.

_You aren’t safe, Baekhyun. This dude is a creep. He’s probably been following you. People don’t just happen to find someone they know in danger at the right time to save them. That only happens in fairy tales._

_Wake up, Baekhyun. You need to get away right now._

He pushed the guy who fell back and ran the fastest he could. He quickly got to the main street. No one was outside because of the rain.

Chanyeol called his name.

He freaked out and entered the first building he saw. Inside he ran to the toilet, hid in a cabin and calmed his heartbeat down.

_Don’t start one of those. Don’t. Please don't._

Someone knocked on his door and he jolted.

"Ano…Daijobudesuka?"

"Ne? Eh, hai…Daijobudesu. Shinpai shinaide."

He heard the man leave the bathroom and rested his head on the wall.  

He waited for his scars to close and his clothes to dry because he didn’t want the others to see him in that state.

When he came out of the stall, his reflection in the mirror shocked him. His face and clothings were covered in blood. He diverted his gaze and advanced to the sink to wash his figure.

He watched as all the water got stained in red and flew down in the drain. How familiar that sight was.

He wanted to go back home.

 

 

 

 

The horny pair had moved to the bed and Kris now had his hand around the other’s member pumping it as he massaged the younger man’s nipple with both his tongue and his hand. Tao felt his muscles tickling with pleasure but he still yearned for more. He wrapped his legs around the wolf and thrusted up for their dicks to make contact at the same time, gratifying his crush who moaned loudly.

"Kris, ah! I…I want." He muffled a moan. "I want more." He arched his back under the others touch and tightened his arms’ hold around Kris’ neck. He pecked his lips.

The taller man looked into his eyes and asked: "Tao, are you sure?" the latter hummed as an answer. It sounded more like a moan though.

Posing his lips on the other’s once again, he pulled Tao’s remaining clothes down with the latter’s help and tossed them off the bed. He did the same with his.

He felt the tip of the smaller man’s fingers brushing down on his body until they reached their goal. He enlaced them around their dicks and pleasured both the wolf and himself.

He whined when he felt the taller man’s finger, lubed in his own precum, circling the entrance to his asshole. He had tried it himself before but being touched by someone else was something different. It felt better. 

"Do more of that," he begged the shape-shifter while quickening his pumping space.

Kris groaned, he took the hand that was circling their dicks and placed it above Tao’s head.

"I won’t be able to do that now if you make us come," he said while staring in the other’s eyes.

The human watched him with a hazy look and closed his eyes when a finger entered beyond his rim.

He whimpered. _That…That kinda hurts?_

Seeing the frown on the other’s face, Kris understood that the gesture had given him more pain than pleasure. He moved his arm to his bedside cabinet to get what he needed. He coated his fingers with the liquid and locked his eyes with Tao’s, waiting to see his reaction. He massaged the rim a bit to warn the smaller man of his intention and, when he heard him moan, he knew he could push his finger in.

The younger man's reflex was to grab Kris’ arm and squeeze it. Kris gently caressed the boy’s head: "Shh…Tao, shh…" He tried calming the human in the hope that he would loosen his hold and it worked. The latter grabbed the bed sheets instead and arched his back when the wolf started fondling his walls.

He called out his name and moaned. "Feels…So fucking good." Without warning him the taller man entered a second finger, sending electricity through his body. He whined.

While the fingers were exploring his hole, the smaller man felt them brush over one particular spot and he knew that he wanted them to be pressed on it. And they did.

Kris had been observant of the other's reactions and when he passed over the spot he understood that it was the guy’s prostrate gland. As he received the pleasure wave, Tao thrusted up making their dicks meet and they moaned in sync.

"That, mmh…Do it again." 

Kris obeyed and grinned as he saw how crazy he was making the smaller man. _You’re so fucking hot. "_ You’re so fucking sexy." 

The wolf did his best to prepare him correctly, to make sure entering him wouldn't cause the bottoming man too much pain - if Tao didn't orgasm before he did so.

"Kriiiiis," Tao whined as the other wasn’t thrusting in anymore. _Give me more, please._ He decided that he would just do it himself if the other wasn’t giving it to him. So he added his own finger in and Kris chuckled: 

"Okay, okay." The latter pushed the smaller’s hand away and entered a third finger in him. His pinky this time. 

They went faster and faster, the younger man meeting with his pace and getting hit more than once on his good spot. His scent grew so strong that the older man was having difficulties restraining himself.

"Tao…" 

The other hummed.

"I want to fuck you." 

He saw the man lying beneath him open his eyes and bring him closer to him to lock their lips together.

Taking that as an approval, he took his fingers out and encircled them around his dick to put some more lube on it. The younger man complained when the contact was lost but when he felt the tip of the other’s dick on his hole he tightened his hold around Kris’ neck, nervous.

He went in slowly and could hear Tao’s uneven breathing on his ear.

"Please." He let out but Kris wouldn’t give it to him.

He stayed, unmoving, inside the younger man for a bit so that he could get used to the feeling. The latter relaxed to look into the eyes of the one topping him. His mouth was opened as he inhaled and exhaled. They shared a stare.

"You’re hot." Kris said and he could see a faint smile forming on the other's lips before he moved out and in again in a fast movement, hitting the smaller man’s sweet spot.

The latter quickly hugged the wolf and pulled himself up by digging his nails into said man’s skin.

"Shit…"  _It hurts. Ugh. "_ I guess I deserved that."

"YeES!"

He thrusted in again and felt the walls clench. _Tight._ He moaned Tao’s name, said man doing the same when he thrusted in again hitting that one nerve bundle hard. He tightened his grip on the other man’s thighs and spread them even more. _Wow, he’s flexible._

The smaller man’s head went back and Kris took his chin between his thumb and index to kiss him again. _I want to taste all of you._

He quickened his pace and Tao broke the kiss. He had to breathe. This was too much. It was _so fucking_ _good_. All his muscles were tickling and moving on their own by reflex.   

The taller man moved his mouth to Tao’s neck and sucked on it making sure to leave a mark. He felt the walls clench and bit the skin making the other whimper loudly.

Kris’ thrusts were rough and fast and he couldn’t take it anymore. He went to enlace his fingers around his dick but the taller man stopped him, pinning his hand above his head to which Tao opposed by whining the other’s name.

However, when he gave that on last strong thrust and came inside him hitting his prostate gland, Tao couldn't help but to imitate him.

He felt dizzy and, as he tried to reopen his eyes, he lost consciousness.

Since his eyes were closed, he didn’t see Kris’ turning red when said man came.

It wasn’t like he had even thought about it though. The wolf had made him feel things he had imagined way less intense.

The older man calmed down and, when he came back to normal again, he pulled out and took a tissue to wash the both of them before falling next to Tao, exhausted. 


	6. The State of Beauty Resides in Your Own Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for blood, mention of sexual assault and mention of trauma.

He felt amazing.

He felt comfortable.

His heart felt warm.

He felt like he was truly at peace.

He felt amazing.

There was this smell floating in the air and this presence in his arm. 

_H_ _ow did I live up ‘til now without you?_

He kissed the still sleeping boy and passed his thumb on his cheek.

_I’m so stupid._

The man in his arms looked like the most beautiful being in the entire universe, just  _so beautiful_. Everything about him felt special: the way the corner of his eyes turned upwards at their end, the dark circles under them and their puffy feeling, the color of his skin, the dark brown of his hair, the form of his collarbones…It was weird for him to think that way. _Ugh, I sound so cheesy._ But he was just _I want to watch you for centuries and leave my hands to travel your skin over and over again_    

 

 

 

 

Tao whimpered in his sleep. _Why is Baekhyun hugging me?_

Kris passed his hand on the man’s arm.

 _But I don’t remember going to sleep in his room…Where am I?_ As he was slowly realizing who the person next to him could be, he opened his eyes to verify his hypothesis.

He gulped and emitted a nervous: "Good morning." 

Kris answered with a smile and a caress on the smaller’s head. Hope filled Tao's mind and happiness his throat as the gentle gesture was done.

"Does that mean…Yesterday…" The younger man tried asking. Kris raised an eyebrow. "Are you fine with what we did yesterday?"

"I’ve never felt this good in my entire life, Tao."

The younger man released his breath and smiled, pink showing on his face but what was initially an innocent smile quickly turned into a smirk.

"Then we should do it again some other time," he suggested and the older man gave him the same look sending warmth to tour Tao’s body.

Kris’ hand wondered on the Chinese man’s body and posed itself on his back massaging it and it’s hollows.  

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, it’s fine."

"Are you sure?"

"...Well…"

Kris felt his heart stop. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he hurt Tao another time. (Also deep inside he knew that Suho would probably try to kill him if he were to hurt his child once again but that was something else. He could imagine him filling his lungs with water and basically making him drown from inside and it sent shivers down his spine.)

"The first time you went in, it did hurt but I paid you back so we’re fine." 

"I’ll try to be gentler next time. Duì bu qǐ."

They both smiled.  

"Why did you come?" Kris asked breaking the silence and Tao diverted his gaze from the other’s.

"Luhan came to talk to me after…Well…He said that I might be your mate?" He looked back at his crush waiting for his reaction.

Kris hummed:"I think somehow I had realized that alone…But…"

"You were denying it?" Tao cut him.

"I was denying it," the shape-shifter repeated, giggling.

Kris looked in the other man's eyes silently and, again, brushed a thumb over the smooth skin of his face. "Forgive me."

"What will I have in exchange?"

"You little impudent..."

Tao laughed and Kris pushed him affectionately.

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun had waited a long time in that establishment’s toilet. He didn’t want to go back just yet because he was scared of the questions the pack members would ask if they were to see his clothes covered in blood.

Chen had called him to inform that, according to Lay, Kris and Tao were done having sex and they could now come back if they wanted. Baekhyun then told him that he would come back late.

He wanted to make sure that no one would see the red stains.

He was extra careful when he opened the door to the hangar and when he went up the stairs. He changed fast and threw his clothes away hiding them under the pile of trash that was already in the garbage can.

When he set foot in his room once again, the bed seemed too empty and the room too cold; he really didn’t want to sleep alone. _Tonight I can’t._

The nightmares would come, he knew it. There was no denying it. When his mind would decide to make him relive the memories of his day, _those_ would surely show. He really didn’t feel like fighting the panic off alone when he would wake up.  

So he went in the Chinese’s dorm and straight to Chen’s room.

As he made his way under the covers, Chen talked:

"You okay?"

"Yeah yeah…It’s just, I got used to Tao sleeping next to me and, now that he’s not, I’m feeling lonely."

"Aaaah…But you make noise when you sleep..."

"Pleeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase."

Chen sighed, he was too tired for this. "Okay, come here."

Chen pulled him close and Baekhyun tried – not really hard- to distance themselves with a "Yah!" but it was no use.

_I’m getting good at hiding my emotions from them._

 

 

 

 

The images were indistinct and so were his movements and his speech but everything was still there: that hand on his neck forcing his head on the mattress, the other one clutching his thigh and that deep voice that kept repeating him the same refrain. 

"Stop trying to get away." 

Background music of moans and mewls was accompanying it as the voice spoke the words again and again and  _again._ The shadows seemed to be dancing to them.

He was suddenly turned around and gently pushed on the wall of the toilet cabin. The guy’s bangs sticking to his face because of the rain drops that had fallen on him.  

_I don’t want him to see me naked, what is he doing here?_

"Chanyeol, I could have had managed."

"But there is blood all over your face."

"You only give a damn about my face."

"Nah, I like this as well."

A big hand groped his balls and the man smirked down at him.

He lifted his cute ass on the café’s counter and kissed the living shit out of him. "You couldn’t take it anymore, huh? After all these times I’ve watched your bent body making me my drinks without taking you. Now you can’t wait any longer."

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun grasped the sheets of Chen’s bed and regained consciousness after hearing himself moan. He opened his eyes and quickly turned them to the Chinese guy to make sure he didn’t hear him.

 _"Now you can’t wait any longer."_  It kept echoing inside his head.

He sat up and looked at his buldge. He sighed : "What the fuck, Baekhyun?"

He glanced at the still sleeping man next to him. _I could…No._

He laid back down and looked at the ceiling. He knew _it_ wouldn’t just go away, he had to take care of it somehow.

He looked at Chen once again. _Ah, fuck it._

He positioned his hands and knees on each side of the Chinese man and stared at him, wondering what he was going to do. His underwear was growing tighter and his breathing, fast.

 

 

 

 

 _Shit, why must I be aroused first thing in the morning?_ He grumbled, eyes still closed. A wave of pleasure ran across his body and he gasped. _What?_ He opened his eyes to see a head at his penis’ level.

"What are you-" He couldn’t finish his phrase as he was occupied with suppressing a moan.  Baekhyun lifted his head and looked at him. He let go of his member and sat up.

"I was turned on," the Korean man explained.

"And you’re dragging me in your morning troubles…" Chen sighed.

"Come on, it’s been a while…"

He received a smile from the one who was sitting on his legs. He raised an eyebrow.

Baekhyun was waiting and, as an answer, Chen smirked and raised his leg so that it would rub against the boy’s member. The latter let a little "ah" sound escape his mouth.

The Chinese man gave him a teasing look and repeated his action over and over. He found it funny to watch the Korean man’s legs tremble while he desperately clung to his shirt and breathed irregularly. 

He stopped when the other whined his name. Baekhyun looked at him, kind of surprised that he had actually stopped.

"What do you want me to do more, I’m still, like, half-asleep," Chen told him.

The Korean man exhaled and dropped on the other’s chest.

"You’re no fun." 

He took a few breaths still looking at him. Well, "a few" is quite the euphemism considering the pace air entered and escaped his nostrils.

Tired of Chen not doing anything Baekhyun decided he would act in his place.

He lowered himself on the the other man’s body and uncovered his cock once again. He smirked at the Chinese man who looked down at him and didn’t even hesitate before taking the member whole in his mouth. He heard Chen’s breath hitch and was pleased by the sound.

After a few bobbing of the man’s head, the lying one decided he was awoken enough so he thrusted in his friend's mouth. The latter gagged.

"Fuck you," Baekhyun said lifting his head up, "that wasn’t nice." 

" _You're_  not nice; making me do so much exercise first thing in the morning. Fuck you too."

With those words, he took the Korean guy by the shoulders, lifted him and flipped him so he would lie on his back.

They smiled at each other, both of their gazes were hazy with desire. Chen turned his attention to his friend’s lower parts and took off his boxers.

"Well, we won’t be needing this, will we?"

"Chen, stop talking and just..." He took a few breaths as the Chinese had decided to start playing with his member.  "Fucking do me already."

Chen lifted the boy’s shirt and moved his smiling lips to his nipple. He sucked on it and let his tongue graze over the erected erogenous part. He could hear Baekhyun’s heavy breathing and couldn’t help but laugh at how desperate the boy was.

"Don’t fucking mock me, Chen, ah!" The male wolf had took the nipple between his teeth and was now gently biting it. He stuck out his tongue and touched the top with it.

Feeling his friend arch his back and desperately thrust in his hand, he decided to move on to something else.  

"Do you want to go all the way?" He asked first.

"Would you mind?"

"Nop."

"Then, yes."

"Okay. Will you get it for me?"

Baekhyun turned his head to the night table and opened the drawer to get the bottle of lube out. He tossed it to Chen who dropped it on the other man’s chest.

"You suck at catching things," the Korean man scoffed.

"Well, you should be thankful: that’s why I’m clean," the other man replied coating his fingers.

"No, that’s because we don’t catch human disEASES."

The last man to speak hissed when he felt a finger enter his rim. Not because it hurt or because he was surprised – he had watched the Chinese fingers make their ways to his ass- but because the lube was cold.

He slowly got used to the finger’s temperature as it stayed still inside of him. When he felt that it was okay to do so, the topping man started moving the finger in and out. Chen continued playing with the guy’s nipple as he prepared him.

He heard the other man call his name and lifted his face to look at him, saliva linking his tongue to the other’s chest.

To make the Chinese man understand what he wanted he moved his hips so his asshole would slide on said man’s fingers.

"Okay, okay. Wait a second. I’ll find it."

With that said he felt the - now two- fingers explore his muscles and finally meet his prostate gland.

"There!…There…Ah, fuck yes, Chen."

The latter entered another finger.

As he knew he would be preparing the body part more than using it to please the male for the moment, he decided the Korean man would probably like his penis to be stroked and so that's what he did. He also caressed the spot right underneath the member as he knew Baekhyun was very sensible there.

And soon, he was fucking his friend. _A little exercise in the morning isn’t that bad after all._

They were pretty quiet, surprisingly; the pair was usually very noisy when they hanged out after all. Sure, the moans, even though they were supressed, grew louder and in number as they neared their climax but at least their voices couldn’t be heard in all the apartment like Tao's and Kris’ the night before.

 

 

 

 

"You were right: it had been a while," Chen let out after he orgasmed and his friend smirked back at him.

The Chinese man pulled out and lied next to Baekhyun who was breathing heavily.

"Thanks for that."

"Had nice dreams this morning?"

"I don’t wanna talk about it."

"Was it with someone I know?"

He blushed and slapped Chen’s chest so he wouldn’t notice. The man knew his friend enough to know how he would react to his comment without even having to look at him.

His laughter was interrupted when Kris slammed the door open, sporting a look of distress.

"Baekhyun!" Said man covered his naked body on instinct.

"What’s wrong?"

"It’s Tao. He- he can’t move I don’t know what’s happening."

"I’m coming, give me a sec."

Kris returned to his room while the two boys dressed up the fastest they could. Baekhyun shivered as he felt sperm drip out of his asshole as he sat up. Nonetheless, he put on his underwear and shirt.

He sprinted to the Chinese leader’s room. Tao was lying in bed, limbs frozen in place and sobbing.

"Go get Lay and Suho hyung," he ordered Kris who bumped into Chen while running out.  

Baekhyun went to sit on the bed and started patting the guy’s arm.

"Is it painful?" 

Tao hummed an anguished sound as an answer.  

The Korean leader and his mate were quick to get in the room.

Lay hurried to get to Tao’s side and used his powers to look for what was wrong with the fellow Chinese man.

But there was nothing there: nothing in his spine, nothing in his brain and nothing in his blood. There was nothing that could explain why the boy wasn’t moving.

Suho was by Tao’s side repeating him that things were going to be okay while patting his hair.

"Lay?" Baekhyun stared at the man. He sensed that something was worrying the healer.   

"I don’t understand what’s happening to him."

"What?"

"There’s nothing. Nowhere."

By then Baekhyun had guessed what could be happening to him but he didn’t have it in him to voice his theory.

 

 

 

 

Suho’s phone rang and he left the room to go pick it up.

"Suho?  I wanted to know if I was working to-"

"Sorry, Xiumin, we’ll talk later. We’re having...problems here."

"What? What’s up?"

"It’s Tao."

"What’s wrong with Tao?"

The Korean leader heard Luhan practically scream in the back telling his friend to pass him the phone.

"I’m handing the phone to Luhan." The pack's eldest member spoke. 

"Okay."

"Hey," he heard the Chinese's voice, "so, what’s happening?"

"We don’t know. Tao’s not moving. Lay says he can’t see what’s wrong with him."

"Ask Kris if he lost his wall yesterday."

The leader’s eyes widened and he turned to Kris who had been listening, like the others, to him speaking on the phone.

"Kris, I’m gonna ask you a yes or no question."

The Chinese leader froze.  _Oh my god, what did I do again._

"Yesterday, did you lose your wall?"

The Chinese man just stared at him blankly.

"I don’t know."

"Come on, I said it was a yes or no question."

"But I don’t know, Suho."

The latter stared at him for a couple of seconds. The others could all sense how furious he was inside although he kept a straight face. He sighed and put the phone back on his ear.

"He said he doesn’t know."

"Well, let’s just assume that he did. Does Baekhyun have any tricks?"

"Baekhyun, do you have any tricks?"

With that, said man grabbed the Chinese and brought him to the bathroom.

Tao shut his eyes hard both because, if Baekhyun was to drop him, he wouldn’t be able to stop the fall and because he was completely naked in front of the other members and that was kind of embarrassing. _Just a tiny bit embarrassing._

"Suho, the bath."

The Korean man used his powers to fill the bath more rapidly and the other posed the human in. The latter flinched as he could feel the cold water on his skin. They watched as Tao calmed down.

"Try moving your finger now." 

When it did Baekhyun turned to Suho.

"Luhan?"

"Yeah."

"It worked."

He heard Luhan exhale on the other end.

"Slap Kris for me." 

Suho didn’t need to be asked twice. He pressed "hang up" and slapped Kris, who's attention had been focused on Tao, concerned, the hardest he could. The wolf ended up on the floor with a red hand mark clear on his cheek and quite confused as he hadn’t seen the blow coming. That was, for him, the confirmation that he had indeed lost his wall and he felt oh so bad for his mate.

"Tao, I’m so sorry."

"Get out," the Korean leader ordered, "the three of you. Go help D.O, he’s probably preparing breakfast right now."

"I want to stay with Tao," said man's mate objected.

"You will, but not right now. For now, get out."

They left and Suho closed the door.

"He lost his wall?" Tao asked, uneasy.

"Yeah…"

"Luhan told me that I didn’t want him to lose his wall."

"And he was right," Baekhyun said.

"Why? What’s gonna happen now?"

"I don’t know, I heard - but that’s only what I heard, I don’t know if that’s possible - that when this kind of situation happens, the female will get pregnant."

"Oh my god, Suho, that’s bullshit," Baekhyun intervened.

"I can’t get pregnant, I don’t want to; I’m a man."

"You won’t get pregnant, eomma just has weird sources."

"Then what _is_ gonna happen?"

"Well, as that’s what happened to me, I would say that you’ll probably transform."

"You mean…I’ll become a shape-shifter? Like you?"

"That’s what I think. With time, I just assumed that that was what happened to me."

"Am I…Is it always gonna be like this?"

"It might happen again but if you’re lucky, it won’t. "

Suho was patting the youngest man’s back while the latter pulled his legs closer to his body to hide it’s nakedness.

The Korean leader noticed the marks on Tao’s body and got slightly weirded out by where his thoughts led his mind.

The Chinese man looked back at Baekhyun.

"How is it gonna be?" 

The man in the bath watched as the other exhaled and sat straighter.

"In all honesty, Tao, I don’t know. For me it was…A lot of pain and puke, but I don’t know…I mean, I never lost the ability to move so I guess it’s different from a person to the other."

"I guess…"

"We’ll help you through it though, just like we did for Baekhyun," Suho added.

"How long is it going to be?"

"I’d say the first three days are the worst but I can’t give you hum…How long it will last."

Tao shivered. _Three days? Like this?_ He felt like shit already.  


	7. The City Doesn't Sleep

Baekhyun was once again working with Xiumin and Luhan was still there sipping his iced Americano. From where he was, Baekhyun could tell he was camly reading a manga. 

He heard the ringing of the bells of the café’s front door and turned around to welcome the customer as he was supposed to. He turned his back as soon as he saw who it was. 

_"Now you can’t wait any longer."_

"Help me," he whispered to Xiumin who looked behind the boy’s shoulder to see three customers. Between two other men, Chanyeol stood, looking pretty hurt as he had interpreted Baekhyun's reaction to seing him.

"Sumimasen!" Luhan called, a cheeky smile on his face.

"Oh, sorry, I have to go serve another customer," Xiumin informed him with a smirk.

"Go to hell."

Baekhyun took a deep breath. _Xiumin and Luhan are there. He won’t do anything to you. He can't do anything to you. _

He turned around. 

He was surprised when he noticed the presence of the two other men standing next to the Korean. The unsettling half-smile of one and the raised eyebrow of the other as he eyed him up and down got him anxious.  

He glanced back at Chanyeol who was smiling as per usual:

"Annyeonghaseyo, Baekhyun!"

"Annyeong…"

The two presented themselves as Kai and Sehun and the working man tried his best to not let judgement show on his face. _God, his friends are as weird as him._

"What do you want?" He asked him in Korean.

"The usual."

Chanyeol turned to his friends and directed to them a question similar to the one he had just answered. 

"Do they serve tea?"

"Do you serve tea?" Chanyeol repeated to Baekhyun.

"Yes."

"Then tea for the both of us."

"Which type?"

"Do you have some that tastes sweet?"

"We do."

"Oh my god, that’s amazing."

Baekhyun had calmed down a bit seeing how childish the two scary men acted.  _It's not that amazing..._  

After they made their choice, the tallest of the three told his friends to go sit down and that he would wait for their orders.

They went to sit at a table near the windows and looked at their hyung interacting with his crush.

"How are you feeling?" Chanyeol inquired while Baekhyun was waiting for the water to boil.

"Why were you following me?" The smaller man was whispering, keeping himself from showing too much irritation. 

"I wasn’t following you."

"How do you want me to believe that?"

"I saw you and I wanted to go say 'hi' but then you disappeared and I looked for you."

Baekhyun was doubtful but the other man’s smile made him want to believe his words.

"How are you feeling?" The taller man repeated. 

"I’m good."

Chanyeol reached for Baekhyun's bangs and lifted them to see his forehead.

"But yesterday you were badly hurt...Are you sure you’re fine? Did you see a doctor?"

"Ye- Yeah. I’m- I'm not hurt. Don’t worry."

The taller man frowned. He was not buying it. He still smiled it off. He moved his hand on Baekhyun’s head and to his ear, brushing a strand of hair behind it.

"Did you sleep well at least?" He inquired.

"I did," the other man answered slightly blushing.

He blushed even harder when he heard one of Chanyeol’s friends whisper: "Just kiss already."

 

 

 

 

"So? What do you think?"

"He’s cute," Sehun answered, his mouth on his tea cup. 

"You look good together." Kai added.

Chanyeol smiled.

"Is he a musician?" The dark skinned one asked.  

"Xiumin said they work part-time in a music school."

"Wow. Then he’s the one, hyung."

Sehun interrupted them, drawing their attention by tapping on their arms.

"What’s up?"

"Cutie alert."

"What?"

Kai turned himself to see what his friend was looking at. He raised an eyebrow when he saw and turned back to his friend.

"Since when were you into boys?" Kai asked.

"No, not the Xiumin guy: the girl in front of him."

"That’s a guy, Sehun-ah."

"What? No it’s not. She’s way too feminine. Look at her nose and eyes."

Kai turned to Chanyeol for support.

"Yeah, no, Sehun. That’s Luhan, _he_ ’s Xiumin’s friend." 

The youngest of the men stared at him, mouth ajar, and looked back to the _I can’t believe he’s a man._

"Well. Guess I’m into guys as well."  

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol’s friends left but the latter stayed. Baekhyun wished he would just disappear.

He wasn’t even chatting with Luhan. He was sitting near the window with his headphones on, spacing out while looking at the people of the Japanese streets. However, Baekhyun could feel him turning his eyes and head to him once in a while and he didn’t like it. He felt supervised, observed, he felt as if he was being dissected.

It made him _incredibly_ uncomfortable.

_Leave._

_Stop looking at me._

_Please._

He wanted to run off but he was pretty sure the man would just follow him. 

He was trapped.

He would jump every time a client opened the door and couldn’t concentrate on his job properly.

Xiumin leant next to him and posed a hand on his shoulder. Feeling himself about to crack, he pushed the hand and stated: "I’m going for a break."

He heard the brusque sliding of a chair and saw the shadow of Chanyeol standing up. He quickly went in the back store and locked the door behind him.

_Five minutes._

 

 

 

 

When he came out, the tall man was still sitting by the window and smiled as soon as he made eye contact with Baekhyun.  The latter didn’t reciprocate and the man's smile slowly faded away. Baekhyun could care less.  

Xiumin glanced at him to make sure he was okay. _He didn’t cry. At least there's that._

They continued working normally, serving the clients the best they could and cleaning the counters when they spilled something on it.

"Iraisshaimase!" The elder yelled when he heard the chimes of the front door as it opened. The newcomers smiled awkwardly.

"Qu’est-ce que tu veux?"

"Toi tu prends quoi?"

Seeing the clients were foreigners Baekhyun decided it would be smarter to speak with them in English.

"What can I serve you?"

"Oh! Merci mon dieu! You speak English. Hum…"

While the Korean man was giving the two women their order, another client entered. He felt his heart flutter when said client smirked at him. _Oh shit. He’s hot._

The two women left. He couldn’t help but smile timidly as the man still sported a satisfied expression eyeing him up.   

"May I take your order?"

"Normal coffee with milk please."

As Baekhyun was making him his coffee the client leaned on the counter:

"Ano…"

"Hm?"

"Can I ask you a question? It might be a bit indiscreet..." 

"Oh. No, sure. It's sure. Eh- It's fine." 

The man smiled at the mistake."I was wondering: do you have someone in your life right now?"

Baekhyun blushed.  _Oh my god._

"No. No, I don’t. Why?" His excitement was clear in his voice. 

"Then, I am Katayama Shunso. Would you like to go on a date with me?"

The shape-shifter was now red up to his ears. He nodded and as a strand of hair moved in front of his eye he put it back behind his ear.

"Would tonight be okay for you?"

He only nodded again as an answer.

"When do you finish?"  

"Heum…Tonight, I finish at eight."

"Wow, you close pretty late for a café…"

Baekhyun giggled stupidly.

"Well, eight it is. I’ll see you then."

Before he left the establishment, turning around: he winked. The petite man couldn’t supress his smile.

 

 

 

 

It felt like someone was clutching his heart. 

He could already hear Sehun and Kai lecture him, his dongsaengs repeating him the messages his mind had already sent him.  _Y_ _ou were too slow to make a move. You had so many occasions, why did you wait?_

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

It hurt because he had led himself to his own lost. Now, there was only regret and anger.

He watched as Baekhyun removed that strand of hair from his vision cutely. _You know I’m watching, why are you doing this? Why would you show him your cute expressions?_ He felt instantly wrong. _What am I thinking? No. I should be happy, no? If I really like him, I should be happy, no? Happy for him. And he has the right to see other people…_

But he couldn’t lie to himself: his heart was aching.

His eyes went up as he heard his laugh. It was so honest, so pretty. 

The bells of Heaven's gates. 

He wished he could make him laugh like that as well. _Why is it so easy for him?_  

When the man left a beaming Baekhyun behind, Chanyeol decided it was his cue to go as well.

 

 

 

 

When they were done closing up the café, the Korean boy informed Xiumin of his plans.

"With who?"

"A guy named Shunso, he came in today."

"Ah. Oh well. Have fun."

The younger man didn’t even need to ask why his elder seemed disappointed.

 

 

 

 

When he arrived in front of the shop, his date was already there. 

He couldn’t help his mouth from forming a smile. _God he's cute._

"Sorry, I didn’t have a change of clothes with me so…"

"Ah no, it looks good on you."

Baekhyun couldn’t support the man’s gaze, he kept looking away.

"Kawaii desu." 

He took a peek at the man’s face and tried keeping his eyes on him as he thanked him.

He didn’t miss the sweet smile that was addressed to him. It made him feel comfortable.

"So! What do you want to do?"

"Aaah. What is there to do?"

"I’ve heard some things interesting outside of Kabukichou. And there's inside too…We could go to a bar or something. Do you feel like drinking?"

"Sure, cool."

Shunso’s eyes widened as he heard the shape-shifter’s reply.

"That’s a cute pronunciation; you’re not from here, are you?"

"Ah! No. I’m Korean."

The man started walking and the petite man followed.

"Do you live here?"

"I do."

"Do you live alone?"

"No, I live with friends in an apartment."

"Oooh...Matte. I realized you didn’t give me your name."

"Oh! Baekhyun desu."

"Baekhyun does sound like a Korean name."

Said man laughed shyly.

"Since when?"

"Hm?"

"Since when have you been living here?"

"Oh! Around two years I’d say."

"Why did you come?"

"Oh…I…Eum…"

That was a touchy subject for him. He hadn’t even told the pack’s members directly. They had just guessed except for Suho and D.O who had been there when it all happened.

"If you don’t want to talk about it: I understand. Sorry."

"Thank you."

_He’s nice. I’m lucky._

"In which district are you installed?"

"Kabukichou."

"I didn’t even know there where houses in Kabukichou."

"Yeah, ours was made out from an old hangar, it’s not really a house but it’s home."

"Isn’t it a bit dangerous though? With the yakuzas and all?"

"We still didn’t get any trouble and it’s been two years. Aren’t they being chased off anyway?"

"Well yeah, but the yakuzas will always be present in Japan somehow. The society as we know it has been built with it. It’s pretty important."

"Really?"

"Yeah. That’s why they’re so respected."

"I thought they were feared."

"That too."

Walking in silence was surprisingly not that awkward. Baekhyun stared at the man’s profile while he was inspecting the area for landmarks to know the next directions. _Hot._  

"Where do _you_ live?" Baekhyun asked as he was seeing his mind drifting to another place.

"Outside the Red Light district," he answered wittily. 

"As expected."

Shunso stopped looking at the signs, high on the walls, to look down at him and smile again.

 

 

 

 

The bar was crowded and finding a table would have been difficult if it hadn’t been for his date to actually know some of the customers. 

He was presented to the other men and offered a drink which he didn’t refuse.

He took several – which he didn’t let Shunso pay, obviously- and the night went on. 

As he got more comfortable with his date, he also got closer to him physically because that’s how he was. Little touches were shared here and there between them while they were socialising with the man’s acquaintances. The touches got more intimate as the alcohol got into the human’s body.

The latter’s hand had been griping and roaming on his thigh for a while now and it was seriously frustrating him. His date was in a passionate conversation with a new friend and wasn’t paying attention to him.

After trying to get his thoughts back on him with subtle touches like a caress on the hand, on his leg and playing with his fingers, he got more aggressive. _You’re nice but right now you’re no fun._

He shifted in his seat to bury his head in the guy’s neck. He started nibbling on the guy’s earlobe, kissing behind it once in a while. Shunso only tightened his grip on his thigh, apparently decided _to not give two fucks_ about his date.

So he whined his named and that seemed to do the job as the man rapidly turned around. Baekhyun even thought their noses would collide.

As much as the petite man wanted to seem tough by staring straight into his eyes, he couldn’t hide his blushing cheeks that ruined the fierce appearance he was trying to display but made him oh so sexy in the human’s perception.  .

He definitely caught the message this time.

"Wanna go back to my place?" 

As the shape-shifter nodded they bid the others farewell and headed for Shunso’s apartment.

 

 

 

 

They got there quick and even though the human had a bit of time to sober up, the sexual tension didn’t go away. 

Baekhyun couldn't act patient anymore; as soon as they had climbed the metallic stairs that led to the apartment’s door, he stood on his tiptoes to get to the man’s mouth, circled his arms around his neck to maintain his balance and kissed him hungrily.  

The guy didn’t wait a second and squeezed his ass, getting him closer to his own body and deepening the kiss. 

He could hear their feet on the rusty floor whenever Baekhyun would lose his balance; his date would get carried away and then would stop him from going any farther away from his grip.

The human was soon trying to find his keys in his pocket with great difficulty, his attention being mainly on sucking the skin of the cute man’s neck. Said person holding his wrists didn’t help.

He gave up and decided he would just pin Baekhyun on the wall instead to help himself. As the boy brought his lips back to his, he continued kissing him.

He felt a delicate hand make its way down his body and, as it posed itself on top of the buldge that was hiding behind his pants and groped it, he knew he had to search more diligently, more seriously, more everything, for _his damn keys_.

He finally found them. 

As he was about to enter one in the locket, a hand pulled it away. 

The hand actually pulled his entire body away from both the door and his date.

The shape-shifter frowned when he felt a gap form between the both of them. 

He opened his eyes to see what the human was doing.

"Chanyeol?"  _What is he doing here?_

"What do you think you’re doing, man?" Shunso asked him.

"Don’t touch him." Chanyeol dully replied.  _Don’t kiss him. Don’t hold him. Don’t lay your hands on him._

Shunso looked between the two. 

He had understood by the way uncertainty seemed to motivate the man's anger instead of the usual disgust that the issue was most likely not homophobia.

"Do you know this guy?"

"He-"

"I’m his boyfriend."

_What the fuck?_

"What the fuck are you-"

"His boyfriend? Baekhyun-kun, you told me you didn't have anyone!"

"He’s not my boyfriend. I don’t _have_  a boyfriend."

"Tsukaene yastu dana."

The petite man’s heart clenched at the words. He didn’t know exactly what it meant but the guy with whom he had been making out seconds ago said them with such disgust that they were still able to hurt him.

"I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know," he apologized to Chanyeol and looking back at the man he had asked out for a date, he told him: "Uzendayo."

He knew what this one meant.

Shunso slammed his apartment door and Baekhyun turned back to Chanyeol, infuriated.

"I’m your boyfriend now?"

_Oh no. I fucked up. He hates me._

As Chanyeol wasn’t answering, he got angrier.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? I’m not your boyfriend! Stop following me! Why are you doing this?" He was screaming when he spoke the last sentence. 

The taller’s eyes widened as the man shouted. 

He looked down and answered with a pout: "I don’t want you kissing another man."

"That gives you no fucking right to screw up my date…I can fuck who the hell I want!"

"But you’re drunk-"

"I’m perfectly sober, Chanyeol."

"You drank too much to be sober."

The shape-shifter took a moment to process that affirmation. "You’ve been following us all this time? I can’t believe you."

Baekhyun looked around, hoping the man would leave while he wasn’t watching.

"I like you, Baekhyun…"

"You know what?" He said as he looked up decisively, "I hate you. If you’re to proclaim how much you like me, then: prove it. Fucking take responsibility for your actions because, right now, I’m horny as shit and you made the guy I wanted to fuck  _leave_."      

As he realized what he had just said, the smaller man blushed while trying to maintain his angry gaze on Chanyeol.

Their eyes didn’t part ways. 


	8. The Unspoken Cannot Be Held As Evidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for guilt tripping.

Kai and Sehun were watching TV, the older man’s head on the younger’s lap, when they heard what they assumed was their roommate entering their apartment. They were startled when the door got slammed close.  They turned their head to the sound’s direction and got up to go see what had caused it. 

Kai called out Chanyeol’s name before reaching the entry. _Is something wrong?_

There their hyung was. The view was quite surprising to them but nothing seemed to be going wrong. Actually, it seemed that every thing was going very,  _very_ well;  Chanyeol wasn't alone. His crush was there as well, being held on the wall, feet not touching the ground and Chanyeol all over him. Although he had always been, now they could use the expression in its most literal sense. His body was covering the smaller man’s, not leaving any space between them and kissing him with all his might.

From what they could perceive, Baekhyun was enjoying it very much. Very, _very_  much.

As Sehun snorted loudly and as both boys started sharing looks of "oh my god Chanyeol is actually kissing someone", their friend looked at them, releasing his hold on the smaller for a moment, and waved them off.

He wasn’t going to let them ruin this moment. _Go away!_ The younger men thankfully collaborated. They didn’t omit to wish him luck while still giggling; Baekhyun had forced Chanyeol’s hand back on him so eagerly. They went back in the direction of the living room.

 

 

 

 

The smaller man was trembling.

It surprised him, how much he reacted to the contact of his lips on Chanyeol’s but also, how aroused he was. He could feel the other man was as well. He could feel it between his parted legs. 

To his despair, Chanyeol still wouldn’t create friction between them. The shape-shifter enjoyed the kissing, yes, but he had planned on having more than kisses and the taller was opposing to that. It frustrated him. He would attempt to wave his body in  the hope of satisfying a bit of his needs and Chanyeol wouldn’t let him. He would groan and hold his hips against the wall. 

He had assented to Baekhyun’s tongue tasting the inside of his mouth though, after he had given a few licks to his lips to share the message. _At least._

_Sweet._

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol thought Baekhyun tasted like alcohol which helped him restraining himself from going any further. It smelled and tasted awful. It also reminded him that he was drunk and probably wasn't in his right state of mind. He didn’t want to have sex with said man if he was intoxicated because that would mean he wouldn’t have his consent and that was wrong. He would feel remorse for the rest of his life.

However, the cute male was making it incredibly hard.

As the shape-shifter flicked his tongue on his palate, where it was sensible, the taller man moaned. _Stop this, Baekhyun._

The latter moved his hips again and Chanyeol pushed himself away making the smaller man slide down the wall and on the floor. He automatically bent down to apologize but Baekhyun cut him:

"Can you please stop cockblocking yourself?"

Sehun, who was still spying on them with Kai ,let out a loud laughter and quickly covered his mouth after seeing his friend’s scandalized expression.

But Baekhyun was way to focused on the moment to actually hear that someone else was there – surprisingly- and so when Chanyeol looked away he could only get offended.  _Don't you try escaping this situation._

He grabbed the man by the collar and pulled him close hard enough to make him lose his balance but not enough to make him fall. "Nal bwa."

Chanyeol noticed how red the older man’s cheeks were. His eyes quickly went to the other’s and to how beautiful they were with his hair gently falling in front of them. Their lashes were fluttering. They looked like abysses, so dark he could plunge in them and no one would ever be able to find him again.

His attention turned to something else as Baekhyun grabbed his wrist. He tried to pull away because he had understood in which direction the petite man was bringing his hand but the other was _too strong?_

So his hand ended up on the smaller man’s bulge and blushing any harder would have been impossible for him.  

"Do something about it."

The still innocent man that was Chanyeol only nodded at the authoritarian tone. He got closer to the smaller man and put his arms around his waist. Baekhyun, understanding what he wanted to do, grabbed the younger’s neck and wrapped his legs around his body.

The taller male carried him to his bedroom and closed the door behind him with his leg.

As he got closer to the bed, Baekhyun pulled on his neck and they both fell on the soft surface. The human tried to push himself up but the wolf forced him down again with a whine and the kissing resumed.     

With trembling hands the slightly older man took his shirt off and the taller had no other option but to touch his naked skin. Chanyeol heard the smaller’s breath hitch and saw how his body wiggled.

He looked at him, worried he had done something wrong. There he saw how shallow the other man’s breathing was. His eyes were closed so tightly Chanyeol thought he might start crying. "Baekhyun?" He spoke as he moved his hand on the smaller man’s torso, repositioning himself.

Said man let out the cutest sound the human had ever heard and he felt himself get harder. He didn’t feel like refusing anything to the smaller man anymore. He decided he was going to give the petite man the pleasure he was craving for. Well, he would try his best.

Thus, he followed his instincts and let his hands wonder around the man’s body first while kissing all around his mouth. Baekhyun moved his hips up to meet with his and this time he didn’t prevent him from doing so. He was able to do it multiple times, in fact, since Chanyeol had been able to comprehend why he the other man had been so frustrated earlier when he had stopped him. So he started moving his hips as well to meet with the other’s rhythm.   

He found himself sucking on the cute man’s lips while his thumbs rubbed on both of his nipples. Baekhyun moaning his name signaled him that he liked the gesture. _I thought only girls liked that? Apparently no_.

He took the hardened part between his fingers and, as he made them roll between the tips, he watched the smaller man’s reactions. His expression softened and his lips parted to let out a silent moan. Seeing he appreciated the touches, he decided he would continue.

As a thanking gesture for Chanyeol actually trying to give him a bit of satisfaction, he went to gently pat the man’s jean right where, underneath, his penis would be. The taller man looked at him straight in the eyes. The human was actually trying to share with the other that he didn’t want him to feel obliged to do that but his expressions were dulled by his arousal and that was the only thing Baekhyun distinguished in them. At that moment, the latter thought the man could actually burn him. Maybe that was what he was doing because the shape-shifter was feeling hot, his cheeks proving it by their crimson tint.

The taller man thrusted forcing the smaller's knuckles to bump on his hard-on. He pressed his lips together so he wouldn’t moan out loud. He withdrew his hand and pushed Chanyeol slightly away.

"Did I hurt you?" The latter worried.

"Can you stop playing with my nipples and do something else?" 

He said, trying not to meet with Chanyeol’s eyes.

"I’m sorry I thought you liked it," the taller man pouted.

"I do but...You’ve been playing with them too much. They hurt now."

_They hurt and down there does too so fucking do something about it already. God._

"Mian…" the topping man sat up. "What do you want me to do?"

"Just…" He sighed. "You should have let me stay with Shunso."  

Baekhyun wasn’t looking at him. He was feeling bad for what he was saying but the situation was honestly so frustrating. _Why should I have to tell you what to do? Can't you take initiatives?_  

He was taken aback when a hand suddenly took his chin in his hold to make him face up again. Chanyeol kissed him. Said man had his eyes closed while Baekhyun’s were still open. He could see from his frowned eyebrows and could feel from how slow his lips would pose themselves on his and reposition themselves while always trying to keep the contact that he was trying to prove him all the passion he felt for him. Or was it pain? Maybe he was frowning because it pained him to think that all that didn’t mean anything. Because Baekhyun wouldn’t go out with him even after all he had done to show him his love.

_We’ll have time to regret this tomorrow._

Chanyeol had posed his hand on the lower part of his abdomen and he could feel the muscles there contract, forecasting the pleasure that was going to be given to him. The big hand made its way into his pants and bellow his boxers. He broke the kiss. He needed air. He was breathing so fast in excitement.

He couldn’t stop moaning when the taller started finally giving his dick some attention. He threw his head back and gripped Chanyeol’s shirt.

It pleased the taller to see Baekhyun like that – obviously- but he couldn’t help but feel melancholic. After all, this meant nothing. His crush was just drunk and in desperate need of sexual activities. He was just helping him out as an apology for preventing him from having sex with a total stranger. _It’s not like I’m any better, am I?_ He was, after all, himself a stranger to Baekhyun. _Just a creepy stranger._

"Don’t stop." The petite man commanded in a discontented but breathy tone as Chanyeol had slowed his pace, lost in his thoughts.

He forced his lips on the smaller man’s once again – not like the other was opposing it - and returned to his previous tempo.

When he felt the delicate hand of his crush sliding under his boxers he attempted to push it away but, as the hand that wasn’t around said man’s private parts was being used to maintain his balance, he couldn’t do it without falling on Baekhyun’s torso which would probably hurt him. The hand reached its target and started fondling it. When the fingers wrapped themselves around the member and started moving up and down the taller man whimpered the other’s name.

"Baekhyun, ah…You don’t…You don’t need to…" Chanyeol voiced out with difficulty. 

The man wasn’t listening to him. He was too lost in the sensations. 

Soon, he was tugging at his own pants with his free hand, desperately trying to get them off.

"Help me." 

The human didn’t hesitate, not even considering why he was doing that. He pushed himself up so he could continue what he was doing while still helping the guy.

The shape-shifter was now completely undressed while the other was still wearing all his clothes. As Baekhyun was getting embarrassed by that fact, he lifted himself up to meet with Chanyeol and took his shirt off throwing it on the wall near the door.

The tall man wasn’t exactly fit. His skin only let see rumors of muscles. Altogether, the guy had a pretty normal body, if he had to describe it. Even though he knew Shunso would have had a way more defined body – the muscles could be seen through the dark t-shirt he had worn for their date - Baekhyun surprisingly didn’t care.

He proceeded with lowering the man’s pants. "Get them off." Chanyeol did as he was told and the smaller man watched him.

When he was done the taller man turned his eyes back at his crush. Both breathing fast, they stared at each other for some seconds before Baekhyun let out a "fuck me" that surprised Chanyeol by its straightforwardness.

"Baekhyun…" Chanyeol was hesitant once again so the petite man rubbed their members together while displaying a pleading look and the other gave in.

The latter moved his crush closer to the pillows and made him sit there while he arranged them so that they would support his back.

"I heard it was more comfortable for you if your back was supported by pillows."

"We can do it lying down, I don’t mind."

The younger didn’t even answer him. He got off the bed and walked to his closet, the older man’s eyes following him.

"What are you doing?"

"We’re going to need some things," he said getting a box from the top shelf of his closet.

"You should keep that stuff in your night table, it’s easier to get when the time comes."

"Yeah…I just didn’t think it would come so fast."

He came back and sat on the bed, got a little bottle out of the box and coated his fingers with the liquid inside. _He looks so serious and concentrated._

"Chanyeol?"

"Hm?"

"Is this…Your first time?"

He, once again, didn’t answer and just looked at Baekhyun, fingers ready.

The latter was uncertain, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of taking the younger man's virginity. He didn't ponder for long. 

As the older man nodded, Chanyeol started massaging the skin between his anus and penis. His fingers would sometimes travel to the rim and make circles on it. He watched the smaller carefully; his breathing was labored, his eyes were closed and he was holding his legs parted to help Chanyeol.

The latter carefully made one of his fingers slide in and Baekhyun cutely whimpered. 

"Tell me if it hurts."

"It doesn’t. Just do it faster."

However, the virgin was definitely stubborn or simply a really huge tease because he didn’t accelerate one bit.

When the finger was completely inside, it stayed there, unmoving. _Fuck you so very much for doing this._ He clenched his muscles to make the message pass to Chanyeol that he wanted it.

The finger then went deeper and moved up pressing on the walls. He did that a few times and then the finger started wondering around. He knew what he was looking for and he hoped he would find it soon.

"You’re quivering." The younger man noted and the other whined.

_That’s because you’re taking your sweet time._

_"_ Please. Chanyeol."  

When he found his prostate gland, the taller only pressed it lightly. He still moaned and the guy smiled at him.

Said man kissed Baekhyun’s forehead as he pushed the finger on it again. The sounds his crush was making were heartwarming.

He decided he would start moving his finger. He could see the petite man trying to control his breathing, to make it normal, but the air always got stuck and it came out short.

"Mmh- Chanyeol. Ah! More."

 _God, Baekhyun, why must you be so…_ He kind of felt bad as his thoughts were getting pretty impure.

As the shape-shifter was tired of waiting for the man to accelerate, he decided he would just fuck himself on the finger which quite surprised the human who said finger belonged to.

He watched as the man moved his hips up and down. His head would toss to the sides, eyebrows frowned and eyelids closed tightly. The sounds he made were pretty faint, only Chanyeol could hear them. _All mine._

The small man’s hand dropped to his sides as he found no strength in them anymore to hold his legs up. He opened his eyes lightly to look at the tall man with his hazy gaze. "Another." When he sensed the member close to his rim he let himself be impaled by it. The human put his hand on his shoulder.

"Careful, you could hurt yourself."

"I’ve done this many times, Chanyeol, I know what I’m doing. Stop your slow and soft act."

_I can take it rough. I like it rough._

He dropped back down on the fingers and hissed as it stung. He could see the tall boy getting concerned but didn’t want to hear anything so instead he encircled the latter's shaft with his thin fingers. Unconsciously, after letting out a few groans, the tall man bend his digits and, when Baekhyun lowered his ass on them, they hit the right place. The smaller man emitted a high pitch sound and, worried, Chanyeol automatically grabbed his shoulders thus, taking out the shape-shifter’s source of pleasure.

"I’m sorry, did I hurt you?" 

Baekhyun just stared at him breathing fast because of both how hot he felt and because the tall man was driving him mad.

He used the bit of calm that was still present in his mind to place his hands on the younger’s. His fingertips then gently caressed their way to his shoulders from his wrist, to his elbows and to his biceps, Chanyeol's eyes following the movement.

Without any warning, Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol’s shoulders down on the mattress, his head exceeding its limits and forcing him to hold himself on the smaller man but as the older made his way down his body, his hands couldn’t reach the other’s arms anymore and forced him to move them in his hair, being careful not to pull any. 

He could see the small hands making their way to his butt cheeks and then sliding between them to reach their goal. The petite man’s head was resting on the inside of his tights dangerously close to his member.

"You’re frustrating me, that’s the only thing you have been doing, Chanyeol." 

Said man had to massage the other’s scalp to restrain himself from pulling his hair because of the air that was being whispered on his sensitive zone when the smaller man spoke.

He was mesmerized with the view. Baekhyun’s head resting on him, mouth ajar, while his back was bent in such a gracious position, rear higher than the rest. Chanyeol wanted to compliment every inch of his skin. He wanted to move his hand his the body like a musician would on an instrument.

He watched as the man added another digit and realized that he was actually looking at him. Chanyeol thought that he really must not have been good looking in that unflattering angle. Without diverting his gaze, he licked Chanyeol’s contracted abdomen. It was such an arousing sight and the taller man sure was stimulated. Baekhyun could feel it on his shoulder; the stiffness of the member and its slippery surface.

He moved the joint on the penis’ base to create friction. He observed the tall man let his head fall back and picked up the sound of his grunt. He continued licking and sucking on the younger’s belly. Chanyeol’s hands moved through his hair and leaved on his scalp a _reassuring?_ feeling.

As the kisses were getting closer and closer to his member, the lying man could feel himself getting nervous. "Baekhyun…Ah! Wait…"

 _"Now you can’t wait any longer?"_ It resonated in his head as he hit his prostate gland. It triggered a wail to come out from his mouth. _No. You’re right I can’t._

"I can’t wait any longer, Chanyeol." He took his fingers out and, walking on all fours, he approached him.

The lying man watched the smaller one who was standing on his knees, palms on his torso, with widened eyes. Baekhyun’s gaze was pleading and his legs, shaking. He could see how frustrated the man was by the painfully erected penis that was standing proud in front of him. Weren’t they skipping steps? Wasn’t this too fast? Shouldn’t they have learned more about the other's personality before seeing every inch of their anatomy?

He wanted to deny his sexual attraction to the man to make place for his romantic side but, at that moment, it was just too difficult. He gulped.

Still hesitant he raised himself slowly to come face to face with the man, nose touching. Baekhyun tried to kiss him but Chanyeol moved himself away. The older man pouted, sight watering,and the other gave in. He joined their lips together and enlaced the smaller man.

"I really can’t wait," the latter let out in a husky and pleading voice and the other nodded still kissing him.

He hugged him tighter and pushed him down smoothly, making his back rest on the mattress. He slowly thrusted in, extracting brief high pitched sounds from the other’s vocal chords. He closed his eyes and frowned.

 

 

 

 

"I fucking swear to god, Chanyeol. If you stop again…"

"Poor Baekhyun…Ah no, they didn’t stop."

"Holy shit," Kai laughed.

"Nevermind 'poor Baekhyun'; he sounds like he’s enjoying this now."

"Yep, and a lot."

"Oh, Chanyeol too it seems."

"Oh god, that’s so weird," the tanned man cringed. 

"Hm?"

"To hear him moan. It’s weird. Ugh, I’m gonna have this sound in my head every time he’s gonna speak to me now."

"Same."

"Shit, what _is_ he doing?"

"I’d say anal," the younger man joked. 

"Wow," the other voiced his dissatisfaction. 

"Sigh. My baby is all growned up now."

"Grown up."

"Same thing."

"I feel though. Our hyung is finally getting some. It’s kinda hard to believe if you think about it."

"Yeah, I always thought he would be in this denial situation for like years and wouldn’t be able to actually even kiss his crush, well crush, unknown crush. But like, everyone around them would know because they would just give themselves these loving looks all the time without realizing."

"Oh my god, yes, that sounds like him." 

"And, like, I’m pretty sure Baekhyun is that kind of guy as well."

"Yep, I agree. Don’t you think he might have been in denial this whole time?"

"Meh, he might have just been scared of Chanyeol."

"Oh yeah. You’re right."

"I know."

They could hear, from the other side of Chanyeol’s bedroom door, all the sounds the pair was making. They would hear when their friend called the smaller man’s name and when the other imitated him. Once in a while, they would distinguish Baekhyun's voice letting out cries of: "Faster!" or "More!" usually followed by the taller man’s name and sometimes with a word of politeness. Or a swear.

"Don’t you think that light’s been going kind of crazy?"

"Mmh?"

Sehun turned around to look at the table lamp in the corner of the hallway that his friend was indicating.

Their attention went to the two in the room once again as they heard a loud thud:

"Baek-"

"You’re not…Fast enough."

They could hear their pace hastening.

"Wow…This guy…"

"I know right?"

"Kawaii in the streets, senpai in the sheets."

Kai snorted at the other’s well found comment.

"I think they’re close," Sehun stated.

"Finally, we’ll be able to go to bed."

"I’m giving them five seconds."

"Five, four, three-"

They both jumped as the lamp next to them made a little popping sound as it turned off by itself.

 "Ah, it’s dead."

 "Aaaand, they’re done." 

 


	9. The Right and the Wrong Are Closer Than We Imagine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violence.

There was a body under him, a warm body with smooth skin and pleasant smell.

He unconsciously nestled close to it as his naked one was cold. He could feel covers on his foot and tried to bring them up to his shoulders. _Why must they be so far away?_ The other man’s hand went to reach them for him and completely covered him, his arm settled to hug the smaller.   

He could feel himself heave up and down as the body breathed. It was breathing loudly and it kind of annoyed the shape-shifter. Maybe it was his instincts getting all nervous because he associated the hard breathing with a dying animal but he didn’t pay too much attention to it.

There was a hand on his head that pressed his ear to the beating heart under the torso. He thought it was quite a nice feeling; being able to hear the song of life of another being next to him. It was reassuring to know he wasn’t alone.   

Even though everything about this embrace was appealing to him - except maybe the loud breathing -, he wasn’t able to feel serene. _Make it be Chen. Make it be Chen._

He remembered perfectly everything that took place the night before: knew who he had laid with and on whose pectorals his head was resting on.

He wished he didn’t.

He opened his eyes still hesitant. He didn’t want to face reality. He didn’t want to have to deal with his mistakes. He wanted to enjoy every bit of what it could bring him. For a split second he actually considered giving into the human’s game.  

He looked at the body he had been sleeping on.  He had confirmed himself that it wasn’t his usual sex partner’s; the man in question was way more built. He slowly looked up the person’s face. _Time to regret my actions._

He had done it. He had willingly had sexual intercourses with his stalker. Even though he didn’t see him as a stalker anymore. He rather saw him as the innocent virgin that had a crush on him and that had wanted to protect him all these times. The only thing the boy had intended to do was to show him his love. Only, his ways had been quite unusual – he wasn’t even sure stalking someone was legal -.     

_You’re the lowest Baekhyun.You’re an asshole and I hate you._

He carefully freed himself from Chanyeol’s hold and got out of the bed. Making sure not to make any noise, he got out of the room with his clothes in hand. Once on the other side of the door he got dressed and walked down the hallway his feet had never touched.

He had planned on leaving the apartment without gaining any attention but that didn’t go as well as he wished it had.

"Annyeong!" Baekhyun jumped and turned around quickly to look at who was talking. _Oh no please. Please, why must you do this._

"Oh!" He rubbed a hand on his neck. "Hi…"

"Remember my name?"

"Hum…"

"Kai."

"Hi…"

"Did I scare you?"

"No…No, you didn’t."

"I was eating breakfast just now, do you want some?"

He could see it in Kai’s eyes. The guy knew what he had intended to do and was now playing with his feelings to make him feel the worse he could. 

"Or…Were you leaving?"

Baekhyun looked away. _I feel bad for that, you know?_

"Chanyeol’s gonna be sad…"

"I’m sorry…It’s just…Yesterday I was drunk…"

"You could at least have stayed to explain it yourself."

"I have to go."

With that, Baekhyun ran away.   

 

 

 

 

"Oh! Hey!" The Chinese leader welcomed him when he entered the hangar.

"Good morning!" The Korean one added, mouth full.

"He smells weird." Tao stated repelled by the man’s scent.  

Baekhyun wasn’t paying any attention to them. He walked straight to the stairs.

"Baekhyun," Xiumin started, "why do you smell like Chanyeol?"

The guy ran up the stairs and when they heard the Korean’s dorm door slam the elder stood up followed by Chen and everyone’s eyes.  

Once on the second floor they stopped in the living room hearing the Korean running himself a bath.

"Who’s this Chanyeol person?" Chen asked.

"He’s been coming at the café a lot, he has a crush on him."

"Ooooooh! How did I never hear of him?"

"Don’t know. I’m pretty sure we mentioned him once in a while though. Anyway, he was supposed to have a date with some other guy so I don’t quite                        understand what happened for him to end up with Chanyeol…"

"I’ll go see him."

"Okay, I’ll call Luhan."

"Why?"

"I lost my bet."

Chen looked at his gēge with frowned eyebrows.

"He bet that they would..." The older put his index through the circle he had formed with the fingers of his other hand. "Before going on a date."

"Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been shipping them?"

Xiumin, his phone on his ear, waved him off.

The Chinese man entered without knocking. Baekhyun's eyes followed him as he sat on the toilet next to the bath.

"So, was it good?" The smaller turned away and wrapped his arms around his legs.

"It was so freaking frustrating. He didn’t want to give me what I wanted. He went so slow and delicate. It was so frustrating!" He punched the water and Chen giggled.

"How did you end up there?"

Baekhyun sighed.

"I was supposed to have a date with this Japanese guy, Shunso, we went to a…"

"Was he cute?"

"He looked really hot."

"Nice."

"But yeah we went to a bar and he got tipsy and I drank and then I was horny so I asked him if we could go to his place and like we get there and we make out          but before we can get in his house Chanyeol just comes in and cock-blocks me because of course he did. He was fucking following me, Chen."

"He was?"

"Yeah, and I believe he was watching us in the bar because he told me he watched me drink and stuff. And do you know the best?"

"Tell me."

"He fucking told my date that I was his boyfriend."

Chen couldn’t help but laugh.

"So now I’m an asshole to the dude. But he was super sweet and fucking hot."

He sighed once again.

"God. I was so lucky with this one and Chanyeol just ruined everything."

"How did you end up with him though?"

"I was mad so I told him that if he didn’t want me to kiss another dude…"

"He told you he didn’t want you kissing someone else?"

"Yeah."

Chen laughed out loud.

"And I told him that he should do it himself."

"And you two just ended up doing it."

"Yeah."

"Did you go all the way?"

Baekhyun nodded while blushing.

"But he went so slowly and he stopped I don’t know how many times." He rested his head on the humid wall.

"This morning his friend stopped me before I left. I just fucking ran away telling him that I was drunk and that’s why I did…I’m a horrible person."

He splashed water across his face. _Chanyeol knew that I wouldn’t stay, he just had to turn me down and I wouldn’t be feeling bad right now. It’s his fault after all._

He felt Chen rub his back.

"I’m a fucking liar and scrounger."

"Baekhyun…"

"We both know that wasn’t true. We can’t get drunk, our system is way too fast for that. I had all my senses and knew how wrong what I was doing was. I just            used his feelings for my own good."

"He let you, Baekhyun. He let you do it, you’re too hard on yourself."

"He shouldn’t have let me. I took that kid’s virginity, Chen. I’m not fucking worthy of that. Why didn’t he listen to Shunso? He was right after all, I’m an asshole.

"Baekhyun, sometimes when we really love someone we want to give them everything. Even if it means taking away our own happiness just because only a              glimpse of their smile gives back all the value of our decision."

The man in the bath stayed pensive, his head on his bended knees.

"That’s stupid."

It was Chen’s turn to sigh. "People are stupid but I believe that’s what makes them loveable."

_I don’t want to love._

"Yo, I have a question," the Chinese man spoke once again. 

"What is it?"

"That Chanyeol guy…"

"Yeah…"

"Was he the one in your wet dream."

The Korean blushed hard.

"So he was…"

 

 

 

 

Lay had his hand on Suho’s tight and as much as the latter tried to make him understand that the gesture made him uncomfortable in front of everyone, the Chinese man didn’t seem to understand. Or at least, he wanted to act like he didn’t understand.  

He rubbed his hand on the member making it slide between his legs and out. Sometimes he would grasp it or make his fingers go nearer to Suho’s body and the Korean man had to use all his self-restraint not to get aroused. It's at a time like that that the Korean man held his hand subtly making the other look in his eyes with interrogation marks in his. _Don’t fondle me when we are in front of the others._

Tao attentive to the moving hand felt himself getting frustrated. He looked up at Kris listening to a conversation. _Why aren’t you doing the same?_ He let out a small growl that caught D.O’s attention.

He took away Kris’ plate and quickly got on him and locked gazes with him. The surprised look in the taller’s eyes slowly gave room to a teasing one.

He got Tao closer to him by holding his hips between his hands and the smaller kissed the corner of his lips.

"Don’t you find it weird how Kris fucked Tao’s mom before him?" Chen let out gaining the couple’s attention.

"What the heck, Chen," Xiumin intervened.

"You banged my mom?" Tao asked.

Kris sighed.

"He means Suho, idiot." Baekhyun explained.  Tao looked at Suho for confirmation and the other only smiled awkwardly. _Please don’t get angry._ Seeing how Tao was being possessive by squinting his eyes in a menacing manner to his boyfriend, Lay growled at him warningly.

The youngest suddenly got scared and refuged himself in Kris’ arms.

A bird flew in from the opening of the hangar’s roof and went directly on Suho’s shoulder to chirp in his ear. He flinched and forced a smile on his lips. _Did you really need to chirp in my ear. That hurts. _ 

"Hi, Amber."

The bird then went to the hooks they had installed to put out night gowns for when they needed to change promptly. She covered her naked self up and with a slight comment of: "I agree with Baozi, that was fucking gross, Chen." She went to open the hangar’s door to the rest of her pack members.

"I didn’t feel like seeing them dry humping while I was eating," said man explained himself. 

"You could have found another way of making them stop. I didn't feel like hearing you make that comment while _I_ was eating." Xiumin replied.

The other Chinese man only raised his shoulders.

"To what do we owe your visit?" Suho inquired.

"We wanted to see Kris’ mate!" Sulli answered. "I’m guessing that’s him."

She pointed the boy on the Chinese leader’s lap.

He inspected the women. All five of them looked amiable and their smiled seemed angelic but, for some reason unknown to him, since their arrival he had been _afraid?_  

Victoria offered a hand to shake and, after hesitating for a few seconds, he held out his. Saying it was a brief contact would be a euphemism as he hadn’t even touch the member and had already pulled away. His instincts shouted him to run away, to get the farther possible from the person.

"Oh! I taught he was human," Victoria spoke. 

"Yeah, no," Chen answered.

"He was but then, mister, here, transformed him by accident," Suho added.

"God, Kris, you suck," Krystal stated sitting down.

"You’ll get used to it," Baekhyun reassured Tao.

"What’s your name?" Luna asked.

"Tao."  

"You’re not Japanese, are you?"  

"I am."

"His parents are Chinese," Suho precised.

"So you were born here but you’re parents gave you a name from their home country?" Amber demanded.  

"I was born in China but I have my Japanese citizenship since I lived most of my life here."

"Do you speak Mandarin?" Victoria inquired.  

Tao nodded.

"Then you’ll be able to join us when we talk in the Korean line’s back," she gave him a jolly smile, "I’m Victoria, the leader of our little gang of birdies. She’s Luna, Amber, Sulli and our youngest: Krystal.

"Even though Ssul has more of a baby face," Luna continued.

"They are the ones that own the music school we work at," Suho said, "we met them not to long after we arrived here and we became pretty close." 

"You own a part of the school as well," Victoria reminded him.

"A part, you own most of it."

"When you’ll get more used to all that shape-shifting thing," the female leader addressed to Tao, "we’ll train you and you’ll be able to teach as well."

"I’m not good at doing music."

"Your singing voice is good." Kris said.

Tao looked like he wanted to cut his mate’s throat.

"Even if you don’t think you sing well, there are many things you could do, like dance or rap or play an instrument."

"I’m pretty sure he could dance. He has good reflexes and all," Baekhyun stated.  

"Did you do martial arts perchance?" Victoria asked.

"Yeah."

"As expected. Dancing should be easy for you."

"Anyway, everything’ll be easy after _we_ teach you." Amber added.  

 

 

 

 

Xiumin and D.O had to go out for a walk as the new couple was still as full of hormones as the other nights and getting the two other pairs in their horny mess. It was getting hard to breathe in there. They were now walking silently in the streets of Tokyo. They didn’t plan on going anywhere; they just followed where their feet would lead them. 

"Oh!" They heard in the distance.

"Isn’t that..?"

"Yeah, that’s him."

They finally saw who the two voices belonged to.

"Hey!" the taller said.

"You’re Xiumin, right?" the tanned one asked.  

"Yep, you’re Chanyeol’s friends?"

"We are."

"Chanyeol’s the kid Baekhyun has a crush on right?" D.O asked.  

"Yep."

"Sorry about him, not his fault he’s dumb."

Xiumin snorted hearing the comment the other made about Baekhyun.

With a "good night" they continued their routes.

"Like you thought, Baekhyun’s the type to be in denial." Kai noted and Sehun gave him a satisfied grin.

"By the way, that guy with the big eyes," he continued.

"Yeah."

"Don’t you think he looks kinda scary?"

"Yeah."

"Thank god, I’m not the only one. "

They turned a corner for a short cut to their apartment.

As they heard footsteps following them they felt fear flowing through their bodies. The feeling got deeper when they were faced by shadows of people they knew. They were circled.

"Yo! Orrrrrrrrre no yuujiiiiin!"

The tattooed man welcomed them with open arms.

They stayed still and didn’t talk. One wrong word and they could make their situation worse than it already was.

"Ha? Silent?" He said as he got closer to them. As he put a hand on Kai’s shoulder he continued: "I thought we were pals?"

No answer.

The man sighed.

"Anyway, d’ you have tha moneeeey you owe my boss? Still don’t wanna talk?"

"We owed him a hundred dollars, we gave him the hundred."

"Aaaaaaah!" He clicked his tongue. "You did before but as you took a bit of time to give it back…You have to pay more now. You should do it at this moment or else we’ll have to take things from you…To make kids understand that you shouldn’t take time to pay back a debt." 

"We don’t have that money right now."

The man sighed once again.

"The youngsters never learn…Well we’ll have to teach them a bit of a lesson, don’t you agree?"

He turned to his colleagues.

"Since the parents aren’t around to do it…" With that, he kneed Kai in the stomach. 

"KAI!"

The yakuza grabbed the hand said man had put on his shoulder for support and turned him around, twisting the arm. He pushed him on the ground. Sehun wasn’t quick enough to stop him from scraping his elbows on the ground.

As another man pushed the youngest on the wall and proceeded to kick his thighs the head of their small gang spoke: "Come on, booooys. Men should be able to defend themselves." The man would slip English words in his speech and it confused them.

Kai got up to punch the one who was hitting his friend. When his blow landed the yakuza praised him with a "Good! Good!" in English with his Japanese accent.  He was quickly immobilised by another who passed his arms in front of his and hindered their movements with his hands pressed behind his head. He tried to free himself by kicking the man’s tibia but he wouldn’t let go.     

The Japanese Kai had punched stood back up and went to hit him but Sehun made him trip and, as the older was able to free himself from the loosened arms, the man landed on his colleague and they both fell to the ground.

They hadn’t even had a second to rest and others were already coming to them. Slowed down by the pain they weren’t able to avoid the punches that followed.

They were confused when turmoil installed itself among the group and even more when they began hearing the other party wailing in pain.

They saw the yakuza run away. _What a bunch of cowards. Glad they left though._

"Are you two okay?"

They recognized the men standing in front of them as Xiumin and his doe-eyed scary friend. _How the hell were they able to frighten them away?_

"Yeah. Thanks to you," the older answered.

"Here," D.O presented his hand to help the latter get on his feet.

"We’ll walk you two home," Xiumin suggested.

"Ah no, it’s fine," Sehun stated.

"You won’t be able to defend yourself if they come again." The Chinese man argued.

_You aren’t wrong._

"It’s this way."

 

 

 

 

"What does the yakuza have against you two?" Xiumin asked.

"We borrowed them money."

"How much?"

"A hundred."  

"Why?"

"We wanted this really nice Goku figurine that lit up but we were short on money and they proposed money to us so we were able to buy it."

"We payed them back but now they are asking for more money for some reason."

"Does one of you even possess a brain?" D.O asked.

"We do, we just didn’t know they would do that."

"Today’s yakuza are like that."

"Mmh…"

"I think we’ve learned our lesson, now."

"You better." 

"We’re here."

"Okay, see ya! Stay safe, all three of you."

"Thank you again for earlier."

"And thank you for walking us home."

"It’s fine. Say hi to Chanyeol for me."

"Sure. See you!"

 

 

 

 

They closed their apartment door behind them and made sure to lock it. They heard Chanyeol playing guitar in his room.

"At least here there’s nothing unusual."

"Oh my god, you think so too?"

"How can I not? They look so tiny and feminine."

"We can’t judge someone by their appearance."

"Yep."

"Not to be messed with."

"Definitely. I’m not gonna even try for fun."

"Nop." 


	10. You Torture Your Own Self

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for trauma, mention of/implied sexual assault, mention of/implied violence.

"Sensei? Are you sick?"

"Yeah, your face is all red, Sensei."

"Ah, no, I’m okay. I probably only caught a cold."

"Oh no!"

"We don’t want Sensei to be sick."

"Sensei will rest when he’ll get home and he’ll be all better tomorrow. Now, we’re done with vocalises so, which song do you want to do first?"

"The second!"

"Yuki’s solo? But you only do back vocals in this one?"

"But Yuki’s voice is pretty!"

"Iie…"

_What is wrong with me?_

"It’s true, Yuki! You have a beautiful voice!"

"We like accompanying Yuki because then we don’t have to concentrate too much and can listen to Yuki’s angelic voice."

"You guys…My voice is not 'angelic'."

A day had passed since he had been with Chanyeol and already, already his libido was over the top.

_Is it because of Tao?_

"Alright, alright, we’ll do Yuki’s song. Go position yourselves."

The worse was that he had actually thinned some of it out the night before. Still, it was coming back.

_I’m working right now, this is not the moment._

"Jackie that’s my spot!"

"No, you’re the second on the left."

"What? No, I’ve always been on the right."

"No, I’m on the right, you’re left."

"Baehyun-Sensei!"

"You’re wrong Aoi, you’re left. Jackie is at his place."

"I asked Sensei not you, Haruko!"

_WhyamIhavingsomanydirtythoughtsaroundchildrenBaekhyunwhatthefuck?_

 

 

 

 

Between classes he went to rest in the staff room. He knew the air conditioning was on – it was always freezing in there- but he still felt like he was boiling inside. It felt like the walls and furniture had been replaced by the tropical decor of the equatorial forests. He could nearly hear the chirping of the exotic birds, the shrieks of the monkeys and the croaking of the frogs.

The fever was making his vision troubled; everything around him and his body itself seemed to be swaying. He held his head between both his hands and concentrated himself on a point straight in front of him. It felt like he would lose his balance on the chair he was sitting on and fall.

The only solution that passed through his brain was to put his head in the freezer to cool himself down.  He slowly got up griping on any piece of furniture that could help him in his task. When he opened it he felt the cold air flow out and on his body. 

He put his whole face inside.

_God that’s better._

"Baekhyun what are you doing?"

He quickly closed the freezer’s door and backed away, supporting himself on the counter because his head was spinning.

"Nothing."

"Hey, you don’t look okay."

Luna got closer to him. She pressed her hand on his forehead.

"I wasn’t wrong, you’re burning up. You should take the day off."

"I have other classes in the day."

"We’ll replace you."

"No, no, it’s okay I say. It’s not like I can call in sick anyway, we don’t get sick. I just need to rest a bit, I’ll be able to attend my other classes. It’s fine."

"Nobody will blame you if you take a break; we’ve all been in a position like that before."

He frowned, hesitant. He would feel bad to leave his work just like that. He was stronger than that. He could endure the heat. _I could always keep an ice bag on me or something._

Seeing Luna’s worried expression he sighed. _I have to be realistic; I won’t be of any use in this state._

He finally gave in.

"Okay. Thank you, Luna."

She smiled: "Take care. Go home and take a bath or something."

She pat his arm.

"Will do."

Lie.

His feet led him to a place that wasn’t home and where he would surely not just "take a bath".

 

 

 

 

The two past days had been hell. He realized all the meaning behind Baekhyun’s words of warnings. _"I’d say the first three days are the worst."_   _I’d say the first three days are fucking horrible yeah._

He felt weak like never before. Powerless. He couldn’t enjoy something properly without his body surprising him with these feelings of well sharpened swords slashing his insides or suddenly deciding to take away his ability to move his arm or other parts of his body or just the whole thing _because of course you need to just fall asleep while I’m walking down the stairs stupid leg._

A part of him – hidden really deep in his body, a really tiny part- felt bad for his boyfriend who had to keep up with his grumpiness. How could he even try to be happy? He felt like an old man most of the time: having to be carried around the house because sometimes his legs hurt too much to even think about moving a toe; having to be almost fed because he couldn’t hold a utensil properly due to his arm trembling so much and - even if it was not for being washed - having to be taking to the bath so the symptoms of the pre-transformation would go down a little.

That was excluding all the new things he was experimenting.

During the night, the accuracy of his hearing had suddenly _– just fucking like that-_ increased and now every _damn_ sound was as annoying to his ears as an air horn being pressed to them. _And Kris said I would get used to it._

There was also the matter of his appetite. A complete mess. A rollercoaster even. He would look at food at dinner and want to puke and then hours later, when the food had already been put away he would suddenly want to eat the fridge down. He had actually bitten Kris to the blood at some point when they were making out because he got famished all of a sudden.

He had, in addition, started being aware of his surroundings and entourage. He was beginning to understand what this whole «being able to feel other’s emotions» thingie was and, even though with martial arts he had been developing it, he had started to be able to _feel?_ others’ presence. Kind of like what happened when Victoria’s pack visited. He sensed them coming and got scared because he recognized another shape-shifter’s vibes. Everything about that was so weird. _Thankfully that’s not as intense as the other stuff._

The situation still had its positive sides. For example:  he could ask for pretty much anything to Kris and he’d give it to him. Even though he had really considered it, he didn’t ask him to buy him anything too expensive. He was mostly asking for things like meat and berries because he often was craving for these foods.

Kris had been treating him with extra care and he was looking seriously exhausted. Tao didn’t really feel bad about that fact though. After all, he had transformed him without his consent. _If I suffer you better fucking follow me in my suffering._ The older didn’t look like he was expecting an apology from the younger for making him act like his slave and enduring his mood swings –because he had those a lot- .

Just like that time when they were eating breakfast and Lay was simply caressing his boyfriend’s leg. Sometimes nothing would provoke him, he would just start crying, being terrified, yelling – often at Kris but he shouted at Lay once and the poor boy had been so confused- or just having this inevitable feeling of wanting to be tackle to a wall to be kissed. He honestly thought he might experience the so called waterfalls of Satan in the upcoming week because of his hormones going crazy like that.

 _Still, I prefer only three days over going through something like this for the rest of my life._  

"Tao?"

"Mmh?"

"Were you sleeping?"

"No."

"D.O made supper, you hungry?"

He groaned.

"I don’t feel like moving."

"I can always bring it to you."

"Mmh...Noooo, he whined, stay with me."

The younger, lying down on their bed, turned on his side. Soon Kris was also there, next to him. As he was sitting on the pillows, Tao decided he would rest his head on his thighs.  

"Comfortable?"

"Not that much, your thighs aren’t really soft." 

The other scoffed.

"I guess."

After staring at his boyfriend for a moment, Tao’s eyes slowly closed.

"Tell me if my head becomes heavy."

"It already is."

The smaller raised himself up.

"Wow, you really aren’t tough."

"Look who’s talking."

"Shut up, I endure pain just fine."

"Yeah but you can’t shower alone."

"That’s another thing! I can it’s just that my imagination gets really intense sometimes and I scare myself easily."

"You’re a child."

"I can still kick your butt pretty fine, you suck at defending yourself."

He grabbed Tao’s arm and made him sit on his legs, back hugging him.

 

 

 

 

Lay was climbing the stairs to go ask the new couple if they wanted the members to save food for them or not – because if they didn’t then they would eat every single crumb of the dishes because D.O’s food was just this good- when he started hearing the noise.

He didn’t really bother, he just assumed they were making out and decided he would still complete his task.

He got into the dorm and advanced further in it but then stopped to frown.

_What kind of game are they playing in there?_

He waited before entering to hear more of the muffled speaking.

"I said let me go!"

"You despite my hugging that much?" He heard Kris laugh.

"I don’t fucking know you! Let me fucking go! Xiánzhūshǒu! FÀNG KĀI!"

 _Pervert?_ He heard a loud thud and thought it was his cue to get in there. _This can’t be good._

"Oh my god. Tao are you okay?" Kris shouted as he looked, worried, at his mate that had fallen off the bed and on the ground. He hurriedly got up again as he noticed the man entering the room.

"Don’t get any closer or I swear to god I will beat the shit out of you and your māma won’t even be able to recognize you."

"What’s happening here?"

"Lay!"

Said man kept his eyes on the younger. Tears were flowing out his eyes and he looked as terrified as the first time they had met him. He could see it in the look his face was showing that he was trying to put on a strong figure in front of him. _It’s not necessary, Tao, I’m not a threat._

The man gulped.

"Don't get any closer." He articulated every word putting accent on the first one. 

Kris got off the bed to caress Tao’s face in a reassuring manner. "Baby…"

His boyfriend didn’t see it that way though.

Without any warning he pushed him off him and on the bed. Kris didn’t even understand what had happened.  The only thing he knew was that he was now face down on the mattress with his mate holding his hands in his back. He couldn’t move. He kind of feared for his life at that moment. Just kind of.

"I’ll go get the others!" Lay announced.

_Tao looked up, breath short. Oh no._

"No!" The younger cried out. "Wait! I’m sorry! Please don’t bring the others!" Tao got off of the bed apologizing. When he saw that the Chinese man didn’t look back at him his blood ran cold. He pressed himself against the wall. It didn’t hold any warmth to him. 

He imagined what could happen after.

The young man’s perception of the situation was completely wrong. His mind was showing him a place he didn’t know, strangers and voices he didn’t recognize. Every word of the pack’s members was turned into different intonations, deforming their sentences against their will.

His brain was blocking part of his memories of the past days, making only the dark ones stand out and changing the brighter ones into situations that never actually occurred. It was messing up with his vision. It was making the room look like a cell. In his head, he had been captive there for days.

Kris was just the pervert who had payed him visits more often than he would have liked him to.

So when the man started caressing him, he tensed. He wanted to punch him. He wanted to get these filthy hands of his body. He wanted to defend himself. He didn't want to let himself be dirtied.

But doing so wouldn’t be smart of him. It would only aggravate the situation. So he let him do.

"Hush, baby, no one’s gonna hurt you."

Tao didn’t dare looking. He didn’t want to imprint the vicious expression on his retinas. He knew that, every time he closed his eyes, that’s what he would see. They were closed so tightly that water had started being wringed from them.

Curiously, there was only one person he wanted to call out for. He remembered the man as someone who went through hardships similar to his, as a fellow victim of this incarceration. He wanted to see his smile again.

_Baekhyun. I want to see Baekhyun._

He felt the space between him and the man enlarge. For a split second he was relieved that the stranger wasn’t touching him anymore but then his brain remembered what that could mean and his eyes flung open. 

"No! I’m sorry! I’ll stop crying! I’m sorry, you can…" The younger’s voice cracked and the older thought his heart might have as well.

He looked at his mate with pain in his body and soul. It hurt so much to share love and instead bring fear in someone else’s mind. It hurt so much to see Tao give him the eyes he would give to an assailant. It hurt so much to feel his mate’s core tremble under a caress for a sentiment other than passion.

Tao feared the disgusted expression the stranger was giving him. He wasn’t able to stop crying, he despised himself for that. He lowered his head and stepped forward.

Kris didn’t want to approach his mate in this situation. He could feel that he felt obliged to him. It made him feel sick. The person he was in the younger’s eyes at the moment revolted him. He stepped back.

"No, please."

The older honestly wanted to hug him so bad hearing his voice tortured this way.

He turned to the door when it opened to let a running Suho enter followed by the others. Kris was pushed by the Korean leader that went straight to the sobbing boy. He hugged him and the sobs grew louder.

"Why are you afraid of me, Tao? You know I wouldn’t hurt you. I consider you as my son."

_What’s with all the sudden affection, mom? "I wouldn’t hurt you" Like hell you literally just gave me to these men._

Revulsion filled his heart and his teeth tighten on their own.

"Get the hell away from me, you bitch!" When Suho, taken aback by the younger’s yelling, backed away, the Chinese boy continued: "Wǒ hèn nì! You’ll never be a mom to me. Go get fucked, you slut!"

Lay was glad Tao had said the last sentences in Mandarin because he wouldn’t have want Suho to understand. He knew it would have hurt him way more than just hearing the yelling of the boy.

"It’s no use, he doesn’t know who we are." 

"It’s probably because of…" 

"Can you do something about it?"

"I could but he won’t let me get closer."

Tao’s breath was rapid while he listened to the men’s conversation. He refuged himself on his knees and cried. _You’ve done it. They’ll beat you again._ To the thought he squeezed his legs closer to his body.

Kris heard him whine. There was a name attached to the sound.

"What did you say, baby?"

His heart cramped when his mate turned to him like a mouse in front of an owl.

"Nothing."

"Please, repeat."

He got closer and Tao squinted, certain he was going to inflict pain to him.

"Baekhyun. I said 'Baekhyun'. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t."

They all stood there silent. He remembered Baekhyun.

Kris turned to the others.

"Where’s Baekhyun?"

Realization struck Tao. 

"No!" He implored. "Please don’t hurt him!"

"We won’t, don’t worry," Chen reassured the youngest.  

"I don’t know," Suho answered, "I thought he was just out."

"Luna told me he wasn’t feeling well during the day so he took it off," Chen added. 

"Where did he go?" 

"Don’t know."

"Maybe Chanyeol does?" Xiumin proposed knowing that the younger was usually aware of the man's whereabouts. 

"Yeah! He probably knows!" Chen approved. 

"Let’s call him then!"

"Who has his phone number?" D.O asked.

Silence.

"Well, that’s great," Chen sarcastically spoke.

"We went to his place the other day.'

"'We' who?"

"Xiumin and me."

"Why?"

"Doesn’t matter, let’s go there and ask Chanyeol, there’s a chance he might be there even."

"I’ll go with them," Chen added.  

"Why we can perfectly protect ourselves," Xiumin protested.

"I know that, I just want to meet Baekhyun’s suitor."

"Suit yourself."

Chen gave him a judging look for the really bad word play he had just made but his gē didn’t seem to notice.


	11. The Madness of the Conflicted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for mention of/implied violence and mention of trauma.

"Anta dare?" Sehun wondered when he saw D.O’s face through the opened front door of his apartment. Kai popped up behind him.

"Oh, hey!"

"You know them?"

"Sehun, that’s Xiumin-hyung’s friend."

"Oh! Right! Sorry…Didn’t recognize you. Thought your face was quite familiar…" 

"What’s bringing you here?"

"Is Baekhyun here?" D.O wondered straight forwardly.

"No? Why would he?" Sehun answered. 

"Who is it?"

Chanyeol set foot in the entry with interrogation in his eyes.

"Hey, Chanyeol!"

"Xiumin-hyung? Is something wrong?"

"We were looking for Baekhyun, he left work today because he wasn't feeling well but didn’t come back."

"We thought he might be here," Chen added. 

"He isn’t."

There was worry in the Korean man’s expression. The shapeshifters looked at each other. Chen talked first.

"Do you know where he could be?"

The taller frowned. He desperately tried to think somewhere he might have gone to but he didn’t know his hanging out places which made the task difficult. His mind was imagining terrible scenarios similar to that one in the rain.

"He doesn’t have a cellphone?" Kai asked.

"Oh. Now that you say that...We didn’t try calling him."

"Wow." Sehun scoffed.

No answer.

"His phone is off."

"I think I know where he might be," Chen said turning to Xiumin who only raised an eyebrow, "that dude’s house. You know. The one he went on a date with. Shin…Something."

"Why would he be there?"

"Well, you know..."

"Oh!" Realization hit him. "Chanyeol, you know where he lives, right?" 

"Yeah…"

"Can you bring us there?"

He visibly lowered his eyes, looking away.

"Sure."

"Thanks a lot."

He grabbed his coat and with an "I’ll be back." he closed the door.

 

 

 

 

Chen knocked on the apartment’s door a couple of times, D.O and Xiumin behind him. Chanyeol had decided to stay down the stairs thinking Shunso probably didn’t want to see him.

Steps walked to the door followed by the click of it’s unlocking and it’s groaning when it was forced opened.

"Konbanwa…" The man mumbled.

He only had a dressing gown on and his hair was all messy. He had cleary been asleep only a few seconds ago. 

"Konbanwa. Is Baekhyun here by chance?"

The man frowned and stood upright. 

"He is. What do you want from him?" His tone was close to violent.

"We’re his roommates actually, we needed him at the apartment…"

"At this hour?"

"Yes. At this hour."

"He’s sleeping right now."

"Well let’s wake him up. May I?"

With that Chen entered Shunso’s apartment with the two others following him. _Well he sure didn’t want Baekhyun to leave this early._

The latter’s smell was omnipresent in the apartement so it was easy for them to find him. The scent was so sharp when they reached the bedroom Xiumin thought he would suffocate so he quickly went to open a window.

Shunso was clearly shrinking when they discovered Baekhyun in all his nakedness laying on the bed, the covers only grazing his body. No one would even question what they had been doing, it was evident.

"So hum…" Chen started and the Japanese looked at him with nervousness in his eyes. "This question is probably gonna be weird but…" He whispered. "How many times did you two do it?"

The man blushed. The shape-shifter thought it was kind of funny to see this buff man all red. He turned around and mumbled a number Chen didn’t quite pick up.

"I’m sorry, what?"

"Six."

Chen’s eyes enlarged.

"Holy shit! Six?" The Japanese only nodded timidly.

"Holy shit but we had three rounds last night." Chen mumbled to himself and didn’t repeat when Shunso asked him to.

"D.O?" A confused Baekhyun let out, opening his eyes.

"Wake up. It’s Tao."

"What? What’s happening."

"We’ll explain you later. Palli."

Baekhyun turned to Shunso.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?"

The boy passed a hand through his hair which was an incredibly attractive sight to the human, they could sense it. _Baekhyun's not the only one full of hormones I see._  

"Of course not. I’ll help you up."

He put his arms around the petite man and they made their way to the bathroom.

"You’re leaving?" Shunso sough him.

"Yeah…But I’ll call you."

"You better."

His words felt like a kiss to the shapeshifter.

He took a quick shower and then they were back outside.

The Japanese man pecked Baekhyun’s forehead as a goodbye.

"Can you not close your phone when you don't tell anyone where you go?" Chen demanded. 

"Yeah, yeah. How did you find me?"  

The latter wondered as soon as the door was closed and they were going down the stairs. He got his answer when his eyes caught who was waiting for them downstairs. Guilt seized his heart when he met the taller’s gaze. Chanyeol was the first to turn away.

 _God this is so awkward. "_ Thanks a lot," Chen aknowledged the latter, "but we have to go now." He looked at Baekhyun and then back at him. He put an encouraging hand on his back and gave it a strong pat before he continued his way.

As he passed by the tall human, Baekhyun softly apologized. He would have wanted to explain himself, obviously, but he knew there was no more time to waste. Tao needed him.

 

 

 

 

Tao raised his head abruptly. He recognized that smell. He didn’t want him to come in. They would bruise him. Torture him. Play with his perceptions. Play with him. He didn’t want to be the reason behind that.

The door was still opened bringing Baekhyun in.

"Baekhyun!"

"Hey, I’m here."

"Don’t stay. You have to leave."

He looked up to the other who had walked up to him. The Korean quickly understood what was going on in the younger's head. 

"They’ll hurt you, Baekhyun."

"Tao."

"You have to leave."

"Tao listen to me."

"No! You listen to me."

"Tao…"

"They’ll hurt you please…Please leave."

"They won’t hurt me and they won’t hurt you. Tao it’s all in your head."

The younger only stared at him.

The pack’s healer had been staying next to the Chinese boy to help his body fight against the hallucinations. He wasn’t able to stop them but he could still regulate his heartbeat and little things like that. He looked exhausted and so Baekhyun signed him that he would take over.

"Baekhyun, what do you mean?"

"Nobody here wants to hurt you. It’s just…In your head."

"Did they brainwash you? Baekhyun they hurt you as much as they hurt me."

"It’s because you’re shifting. You’re having hallucinations."

"What are you talking about?"

"Your head is creating images. What you are seeing isn’t real."

"Can you hear what you’re saying?"

"Tao, look at me."

Baekhyun took the Chinese’s head between his hands to force his gaze on him. Without realizing it, his head and eyes had been stirring a lot. Tao hadn’t been looking straight at the other. As the older stopped his motion his head started panging. It was difficult to concentrate on one point.

"Don’t close your eyes."

 "You’re hurting me."

"Don’t close your eyes." Baekhyun made sure to stress every word he spoke. "Don’t look away. It will stop." 

"You’re hurting me."

There were little firefly-like things forming around the Korean man. Chen had seen it happen a few times. _He must be shaken._

Tao could feel his body becoming numb and the pain tarnishing at the same time.

"Baekhyun." He frowned one last time, tears blurring his vision, before falling in the smaller arms.

"He’s gonna shift!" the Korean informed the others quite uneasy by the emotions the man he was holding was emitting. He quickly removed the other’s shirt while Suho asked if they could get closer.

When he got his answer he promptly went to get Tao out of his pants. It was just in time. He had just passed the waist band off of his feet when the man’s body was replaced for a wolf’s.

Baekhyun didn’t want to move as the fur ball seemed to be sleeping on his lap, Kris petting it’s head.

"It’d be better if you slept with him for the night," the latter said, "I think."

"Sure."

"Let’s move him to the bed."

"Wait? You want us to sleep here."

"Yeah."

"Oh. Okay."

"Gē you can take my room, I’ll sleep in Xiumin’s."

"Thanks, Chen."

"Okay, let’s move him. One, two, three."

 

 

 

 

Luhan had spent the night at the pack’s place after Xiumin called him to hang out in the middle of the night. So they were now sleeping on the hangar’s couches, his gē rolled up in his wolf form.

He heard knocking on the door. He first thought he imagined it in his dream but it repeated so he rose up and went to check who it was.

Smelling from the other side of the door he recognized the person as Chanyeol. He hurriedly slid the door open.   

"Chanyeol! Hi! What brings you here?"

"Luhan-hyung? You live here?"

"Oh, eh, no. I only spent the night over."

"I see…Oh my god! Is that a dog?" The younger screamed excitedly. 

"What? Oh!"

_No, that is not a dog. That is Xiumin._

"Yes! Yes." The wolf that had been sleeping seconds ago now had his eyes opened and was looking at them.

It looked terrified. _Oh my god. I’m in my wolf shape and Chanyeol saw me shit shit shit, Luhan, do something._

"Come! Come here, puppy!" Xiumin quickly understood what his friend was trying to do and followed his instructions.

He jumped off the couch and with his tongue hanging out his mouth he gamboled to them. He sat next to Luhan and barked playfully.

"Can I pet it?"

"Sure."

With that Chanyeol lowered himself to scratch him behind his ears and pet the brownish fur. He was smiling and laughing just like a child would and the Chinese men found it cute. Luhan squatted as well and joined the younger in petting the animal.

"What’s their name?"

"Baozi."

Xiumin looked at him. _It’s the first name that came to my mind._   

"It has the same name as Xiumin-hyung?"

"Yeah."

"That’s funny," Chanyeol giggled, "are they a female or a male?"

"Aaah, I don’t know…"

The wolf bit his finger. It was more like a nibble but he still understood the message.

"Ow! Male! Male, he’s a male."

"He’s so cute," Chanyeol smiled, "is he a husky? He looks a lot like a wolf."

"Aaah, hum…Yeah kind of."

"I want a dog as well…," the Korean man pouted.

"Oh, by the way, Chanyeol."

"Hum?"

"What did you come here for?"

"Oh! Right! He stood back up, I wanted to talk with Baekhyun."

"I see. Baozi, can you go get Baekhyun?"

He didn’t have to be asked twice.

 

 

 

 

"Baekhyun…Baekhyun…"

"Mmh?"

"Wake up."

"Why?"

"Someone’s at the door for you."

"Hyung, why are you naked?"

_Wasn’t he supposed to be sleeping with Chen?_

"Did you and Chen..?"

"Don’t get the wrong idea, I was in my wolf form two seconds ago."

"Oh."

"Get up, there’s someone that wants to talk with you."

"Who?"

"I don’t know, just get up."

"Do I need to get out of my pjs or is fine if I stay like this?"

"It’s fine, let’s go."

 

 

 

 

There was Chanyeol in the hangar’s entry speaking with Luhan. He honestly wanted to run back up the stairs but Xiumin in his wolf form was preventing him from doing so. He could feel his snout pressing on the back of his leg to make him go further down as he had stopped moving. _Omg and I’m in my pjs to boot._

"Ah there he is!" 

"Hi, Baekhyun!"

Said man only nodded in acknowledgment of his presence.

"Can I speak with you?" The man looked serious.  _I don’t want to, Chanyeol. I’m not ready._

"Okay…"

They went outside and Baekhyun carefully closed the door behind him.

"How did you find where I lived?"

"I went to the café and was told to come here."  

_Why is everyone in this damned pack against me?_

"What did you want to talk about?" Baekhyun asked without even looking at him.

"I wanted to ask…Do you want to go on a date with me?"

The smaller looked up at him. _He came to ask me out on a date? After what I did?_

"I thought we skipped a step so I wanted to…Make up for that."

Baekhyun didn’t answer and it made Chanyeol’s heart beat incredibly fast. He thought he would die from all the suspense. However, he maintained a smile.

"I’m sorry, I…" The older stopped as he could feel the other’s pain as he forced this smile on his face.

"I can’t give you an answer right now. I’ll…I’ll think about it." He was happy to sense hope reuniting with the younger man.

"Hum…When?"

"Would tonight be okay for you? I mean do you have anything..."

"Tonight? O…Okay. I’ll think about it…I’ll call you. Would that be okay?"

"Yeah! Sure!"

"Then…What’s your phone number?"

"Oh wait, I’ll write yours in mine and text you so you have my number, cool?"

"Cool."

 

 

 

 

When Baekhyun closed the door in his back he thought he would faint. Luhan and Xiumin who had been waiting in the hangar saw his pale face and quickly stood up to go to his aid.

"What happened?" Luhan was the first to inquire.

"He asked me out on a date," the Korean speaker answered with a blank face.

"That’s great!" Xiumin stated.

"But I don’t want to go on a date with him, hyung. And why would he even ask me? I’ve been so mean to him and he knows I’ve been seeing Shunso but he still speaks like we’ll be a thing one day. He knows I’m not interested in him so why does he do this?"

"But is it really true that you aren’t interested in him?"

"I don't know!» Baekhyun barked.

He lowered his head to hide his crying face and brought his hand to his mouth to keep any sound from escaping his lips. He stayed like that for a few seconds before he ran to his room.

He stayed there all day and the other two were worried for him so when Chen came home from working at the school with Lay and D.O, they quickly told him what happened and asked him to go speak with him. They knew he had always been more inclined to speak with his same age friend. 

"Baekhyuuuuun."

"Hm?"

"Can I enter?"

"…Sure."

The boy was sitting next to his bed. He had visibly been crying. Chen sat next to him.

"They told you, I’m guessing."

"Yeah."

Baekhyun sighed.

"I don’t know what to do…I’ve been sitting here all afternoon and I can only think that I don’t want to go…But somehow..." He sighed once again. "This answer doesn’t seem to suit me."

Chen nodded to give him sign of his attention.

"I…I want to…I don’t…It’s because…" His difficulty to find his words was annoying him.

"I don’t want to say no to him because he is nice and I don’t want to do any more harm to him but if I say yes then I’ll have to go on a date with him and give him false hopes."

"Why 'false hopes'?"  

"Because I know I won’t want to be with him."

"And how do you know?"

"Because I know myself and you know too…How I am."

"Mmh…"

"I don’t know what I want to do. And he told me he wanted to go out so I have to give him an answer but I don’t have an answer and why did he have to ask me out when he knows I have no interest in him and, and that I’ve been seeing Shunso. Why must he do this to me? Is it a plan to make me feel bad for what happened the other day? Because if it is then he should know that I already feel fucking bad to the point of wanting to…"

"Baekhyun calm down."

The crying man looked up at his friend.

"You can always call Chanyeol to tell him that you still don’t have an answer so that tonight is no good."

"But it still doesn’t solve the fact that I have to give him an answer."

"Yeah, but it gives you more time to think about that."

The Korean boy looked back down.

"It’s driving me crazy, Chen."

"Mmh..."

They remained silent for a moment. 

"I think that, the difference between Shunso and Chanyeol is that: with Shunso...You know there isn’t a chance that you’ll be able to fall - completely fall - for him. You find him nice and attractive but you won’t _love_ him. And so, you aren’t scared of being with him. But with Chanyeol…You’re scared of growing attached and of things turning the way they did back then."

There was a silence that Baekhyun used to process the other’s words.

"Then, what are you telling me to do?"

"Give yourself a chance to love again. History won’t repeat itself, Baekhyun."

 


	12. When the Form Is Petty the Means Must Be Valuable

"Baekhyun! Hi!" Chanyeol answered on the other line.

"Hi…Hum, so…Is…Is tonight still alright?"

There was a silence and Baekhyun thought he would die.

"Yes! Yes of course!"

"Okay…Then what time?"

"It’s five now so…How about six? In an hour at the café is that alright? We could go eat together?"

"Sure...Huh...Yeah. Sure."

"Okay! Then see you in an hour!"

He hanged up and immediately turned to Chen, eyes giving away all the distress in him.

"He wants to meet in one hour and I’m not ready."

Chen let a smile graze on his lips doing an effort not to laugh. He couldn’t help but think that the Korean man was acting very cutely even though he knew that the way the latter was feeling was nothing "cute". It was no moment to laugh.

"It’s alright, I’ll help you, anyway it’s not like you really need to 'prepare' for anything."

"I’m smelly; I need to go take a shower."

"Go take a shower I’ll choose clothes for you."

"Okay."

 

 

 

 

"What if he doesn’t come?"

Kris let out a sigh. It had only been five minutes since Baekhyun had arrived at the café and he was already annoyed. The little wolf was lying on the counter with a pout.

"He’s gonna come."

"How can you be so sure? Maybe he just wanted to have a good laugh with his friends to teach me how much what I did to him hurt. Maybe he’s watching me right now, waiting like this."

"I’m sure Chanyeol wouldn’t do that, Baekhyun," Suho reassured him.

"And if he comes…What if I get bored or something?"

"It wouldn’t be that serious. Bad dates happen."

"I don’t feel like having a bad date...I wouldn’t be able to react properly…"

"Then, try to enjoy it as much as you can." Kris replied.

Baekhyun sighed. The Chinese leader was glad the man finally shut his mouth.

Lay was sitting at one of the café’s table with Xiumin in his wolf form next to him. They had been designed as chaperons for Baekhyun along with Amber who was waiting outside in her little brownish bird form.

He heard the wolf whine next to him and turned to look. "What do you want?" The whining continued. Xiumin would move his eyes from Lay to his cup of coffee. When he understood Lay put the cup on the floor.

"Oh my god! Don't give coffee to your dog!" A girl next to him yelled. It left Lay quite surprised.

"He wanted to drink it."

"Don't just give it to him! It's bad for them! Are you dumb or what?"

Xiumin pushed the cup back to Lay with his snout. The other three at the counter were laughing at how the Chinese man looked taken aback because a girl yelled at him.

"Oh, hi, Chanyeol-ah!" Suho welcomed him. 

Baekhyun froze. _Oh. He’s there._ He heard Kris whisper in his ear: "See, told you he wouldn’t ditch you." The Korean not liking being mocked grimaced at him.

"Hi Suho-hyung!" And then he was coming to him. The shape-shifter didn’t turn straightway.

"Hey," Baekhyun turned to him, "am I late?" The smaller looked at his cellphone. 18:02.

"No. You aren’t."

"Have you been waiting?"

"No no."

"Ah that’s good I wanted to come earlier, I was scared you would arrive and be worried if I wasn’t there."

The older heard Kris whisper: "If you knew."

"Shall we go?"

"Sure."

"Bye bye! Have fun both of you! Chanyeol I trust you to treat our Baekhyunnie very well." Suho said as they were leaving.

Chanyeol’s smile spread wide on his face and to his eyes. "Of course! Bye bye!"

When they set foot outside the café and started walking a bird passed right in front of them. It flew to the porch roof of another shop. Baekhyun recognized it as Amber.

"Wow, that was so close." The taller said eyes wide open, a hand on his heart. "Did you see that?" Baekhyun could only hum approvingly.

"So, did you have something in mind?"

"Are you hungry right now?"

"No, not really."

Actually, he was just too nervous to eat.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Well, I thought we could go at an arcade or something. Do you like games?"

That came as a surprise. _Going in an arcade? On a date? At our age?_

"Or not…"

"Oh no! I like games, I like games!"

"We can do something else if you want."

"No! It just surprised me that’s all."

"I’m sorry," Chanyeol giggled, "I don’t really go on dates often so I simply thought of things that would be fun."

"Arcade is good. Let’s go, you’ll have to guide me though; I don’t know where the arcades are here."

"You never went?"

"No. I haven’t been to one in a while. My memories of those places go back to…When I was a teen."

"Is it because you thought you were too old?'

"Hm, and I started to hang out in bars instead."

"We’re never too old to go to these kinds of places, I think. Yeah sure the teens might look at you like you’re a weirdo and call you harabeoji but if that’s what you like to do with your free time…"

"Harabeoji," Baekhyun laughed, "being called that would be weird. I’m not that old…"

The beam on the smaller’s face made him the taller the happiest. He had looked quite nervous earlier at the café but now he seemed to be relaxing.

Like they thought, there were a lot of teenagers at the arcade. The only people their age there were foreigners.

Pop music was blasting from the ceiling but the game sounds and the talking people were covering its vibration. Baekhyun was surprised when he picked up Korean. _Right. Kpop is popular with teenagers these days._

There were so many colors, so many lights. It made one want to be merry. It seemed like no space was empty. Every wall you’d look at would be filled with designs and drawings, every alley filled with people and games and, from the ceiling, plushies, lanterns and other decorations were hanging. _This sure brings back memories._

Chanyeol was pleased to see he was able to bring joy to his crush when he came back from buying tokens.

The latter could feel the taller’s eyes on him and so he decided to design the first game he saw:

"Let’s try this one!"

The bright table had muscly man on it who were pointing to this red toy hammer located on the center of the table.

"How does it work?" Baekhyun asked.

"I’ve only seen people play it but…You have to press this button really fast or the hammer’ll fall on your hand."

"Oh. Okay."

"Ready?"

"Always." 

"Go!"

With all their might they pressed the fastest they could but, as there had to be a loser, the hammer fell on the taller’s hand.

"I win!"

"I let you win."

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow.

"Pff. Want a revenge?"

"Let’s go."

It fell on his hand again and it did the same on their third round.

"How are you so fast?"

"Guess I was born to play that game."

"I’m not giving up."

Luck turned on Chanyeol’s side this time.

"Yes! I win!"

"You won once."

"Still means I won."

"Another round."

"Bring it!"

In the end it was 5 to 3 for Baekhyun.

"Have you ever played this one?" They were in this fake jeep car with a screen and guns in front of them.

"I think there was a similar one at the arcade close to my house but this one…"

"There are gonna be zombies and such and you have to shoot them."

"Okay, that seems pretty easy."

"Okay then…Go!"

"Oh my god! What? There are so many! Stop com-where are you even all coming from? Ah!"

"Baekhyun! Your right!"

"Shit! Die! What? I’m dead? I shot him! What is this?"

"Ah. I’m dead too."

Game Over.

"Are you…Wow. Okay."

"Let’s play another one."

"Oh! There’s this one with motorcycles, let’s play this one!"

"The race?"

"Yes! I saw it earlier, come!"

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol had insisted to play this shooting game he liked but Baekhyun was getting tired so he was waiting on the side, watching him hold the gun. The boy was good. He had clearly played that game more times than once. He was so concentrated on the targets, eyebrows frowned and one eye closed.

For some reason, the smaller’s eyes lingered on him. Just like when watching the television, too lazy to stop watching. Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was just tired and too lazy to turn his eyes away. But honestly, it was mostly because he had never realised Chanyeol could look this good. He had never seen the boy look this manly. He looked older. The serious look he was sporting made him look more mature.

He looked handsome.

A smile bloomed on the corner of the taller's lips to then spread to his ears and he looked like himself again.

"Okay, I’m done! Are you hungry?"

"Yeah!" 

"What do you feel like eating?"

"I don’t know…Do you know any restaurants?"

"I know this Korean restaurant…"

"Cool, let’s go there!"

 

 

 

 

Seeing the pair was going to eat, Lay asked Xiumin if he was hungry. The wolf nodded and the bird following them chirped. He signed them to enter subtly. When in, they went to the restaurant’s bathroom to shift and Lay gave them the clothes he had been carrying in his backpack.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, I was so hungryyyyyy," Xiumin let out.

"I felt like eating a hamburger," Amber pouted, "why did they have to choose a Korean restaurant."

"A fast food place wouldn’t be very suitable for a first date," Xiumin replied.

"Well, I wouldn’t mind going in a fast food restaurant for a first date. Hamburgers are yummy."   

They sat at a table near the pair. Lay was able to see Baekhyun from where he was.

The latter stood up and went to the toilet, passing them without noticing.

 

 

 

 

Zipping his pants up, he turned to the sinks to wash his hands. He was shocked by his reflection in the mirror.

He was smiling. There was an honest smile on his lips.

He quickly turned away and got back to his table. _Baekhyun why must you be like this._

 

 

 

 

Passing in front of Xiumin, the latter, who had been updating Chen on what had happened through text, let him know of the situation:

 ** _Min gē:_** He came back from the toilet. He looks depressed now.

 ** _Chenny Chenny:_** Aaah~~~ This guy, he thinks too much.

 ** _Min gē:_** Indeed. Amber says hi~ 

 ** _Chenny Chenny:_** Hi, Amber!

"Baekhyun..? Are you…Is everything alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, why?"

"You look sad…"  _You lost your glow._

"Oh no, no! I’m fine! I’m just hungry."

He laughed and awkwardly smiled.

"Even as a human, I could’ve tell that was fake," Amber stated to her Chinese friends, "he’s so bad at lying, that kid," she ended with a scoff.

"His expressions are really honest", Lay added.

Chanyeol could tell, as the others had thought. He wasn’t oblivious after all. _Well, not that oblivious._ But he still chose to not push it any further. If Baekhyun didn’t want to open up to him he wouldn’t push it.

"Okay…"

 

 

 

 

"Thank you for treating me! I ate really well!"

"I know it’s not as good as the food you get in Korea but still, I thought it was a good idea…"

"You were right. But it doesn’t beat D.O’s cooking."

"D.O?"

"Yeah, one of my roommates. You’ve met him. He’s small and has big eyes."

 "Oh, him!"

 "Yep. He’s usually the one that cooks the meals. Him or Lay. Where are we going next?"

 "Cinema?"

 "Oh, yeah, sure. No romance movies, please."

 "Action then?"

 "That’d be fun."

 "Whatever you’d like. So, you were talking about…Lay? Did I get it right?"

"Mmh. I was saying he cooked once in a while. He’s Suho’s boyfriend actually."

"Oh, really? I thought the other one was his boyfriend."

"Other one?"

"The one that was working with him. They seemed pretty close."

"Ah! That’s Kris. Actually, they do have history together but then he met Lay and well yeah. But yeah, we’re pretty close in the pack. We do a lot of skinship. I hope it doesn’t weird you out…"

"Not at all, Kai and Sehun always do it. A lot. I do it too but less."

"I see."

There was a moment of silence that installed itself. Although he wasn't deeply annoyed by it or anything, Chanyeol chose to break it:  

"Who, in your roommates, are you closest too?"

"We’re all pretty close but…I think…I’d say I’m the closest to Chen? When I met the other he was the one most similar to me so I guess that’s why I quickly became close to him. We're also the same age so...I’m also pretty close to Lay…I’m pretty close to all of them actually.  You?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, are you closest to Sehun or Kai?"

"Oh I’m close to the both of them equally. The three of us have known each other since high school.We decided to come study in Japan and here we are, the three of us together." 

"I didn’t know you were studying, in what field?"

"Music."

"That’s cool. Are they also studying in that?"

"Sehun followed Kai in the dance profile; I preferred to learn more about the history and the composing of music."  

"That’s cool. I would’ve wanted to continue my studies in that."

"You studied music?"

"Before I came to Japan, I did."

"Why did you come to Japan then, if you wanted to continue studying music?"

Then, there was silence. As opposed to before, this time it was an oppressing silence. 

"I don’t want to talk about that."

 

 

 

 

It wasn’t that the movie was boring or anything like that. It was your classic action movie with in the beginning this man living a peaceful life but then some men arrived and nothing could be the same anymore. Then we continue with all the car pursuits, martial arts and drama to finally end with that one really hot woman. He liked it, he really did, but he couldn’t help but feel exhausted.

He couldn’t fight Orpheus from embracing him.

His eyes closed against his will and his head fell hanging from his neck a couple of times before Chanyeol asked him if he was tired:

"If you want, we can go."

"Oh no, it’s okay. Sorry, I won’t fall asleep."

Soon his head was, once again, dangling from his neck and Chanyeol knew he had fallen asleep after whispering his name a few times.

"Did Baekhyun really just fall asleep?" Amber asked.

"Maybe," Xiumin answered munching on his popcorn.

The sleeping boy’s head went to rest itself on the surprised taller man’s shoulder.

_Don’t talk. Don’t move. Don’t breathe. He’ll wake up._

He watched as the air entered and left the peaceful boy’s nostrils. He let himself breath again and rested comfortably in his seat making sure not to move too much.

It reassured him to see that Baekhyun could fall asleep next to him. In a way, it meant that he was sufficiently at ease with him to keep his guard down, _right?_

He gently caressed the smaller’s hair and pecked it before resting his head on his.    

"Oh my god," Amber whispered enthusiastically, "I need to take a picture of that."

"Hm? Oh my god! Lay, look at this."

"I’m sending that to the girls."

"I can’t believe this. I need to send a picture to Chen so he can show the pack."

"Poor Chen," Lay stated.

"Why?"

"He’s gonna have to find another sex friend," Amber answered for Lay, "ha! Victoria says: 'now kiss' I feel you, queen of England, I feel you."

"They did kiss," Lay stated.

"They did?" She whispered loudly. 

"Well, yeah. They had sex the other day and Baekhyun’s libido has never been this high, since."  

"What? Why didn’t you tell me?"

"And then he told Chen he didn’t like it…," Lay laughed, pff, that liar."

 

 

 

 

"Baekhyun?"

The first thing he saw as he opened his eyes was the huge screen that had turned back to its original color.  He then saw the now empty seats in the dimly lit and silent room. Only some whispers could be heard in the back.

"Baekhyun?"

He raised his head and looked at who was calling him.

"The movie’s done."

"Oh my god! Sorry, I slept. I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t drool on your shirt or something."

"I wouldn’t mind."

Realizing how weird that sounded, Chanyeol decided to precise:

"Not like I would want your drool on my shoulder but like…It would dry…" He let go of trying to explain himself and simply decide to change subjects: "We should go; the cleaning guy probably wants to do his job."

"Yeah let’s go."

They left the screening room and the trio of chaperons did their best not to be seen.

"I missed the ending, what happened?"

"Do you want me to tell you what happened in between."

"No no, just the ending. Did he marry that hot girl?"

"Yeah."

"Yeoksi…I’m sorry for sleeping."

"It’s alright, you must’ve been tired." _After yesterday._

"Yeah. I guess."

Chanyeol concluded that his date had the same thoughts as he lowered his head in shame. Not that he wanted Baekhyun to feel bad about it, he believed he had no reason to feel that way. He didn’t belong to him after all and it’s not like they were even going out, the man could frequent whoever he wanted.

"What do we do now?"

"Oh…Heum…"

"Ah. Did you…Want to call it a day?"

"Well, if you still want to go somewhere then…"

"It’s you. If you didn’t have anything…"

"I thought you were tired so…"

"I can still find a bit of energy, I don’t…"

"Then how about we go grab a snack and then call it a day?"

"Cool. Yeah, sure, do you have something in mind?"

"Hum I don’t know…Crepes? How about crepes?"

"Yes! Crepes are good."

"They’re gonna eat crepes." Amber beamed.

 

 

 

 

Seeing the front door of the hangar Baekhyun stopped realizing that they had arrived. He slowly turned back to his tall friend with a smile on his lips.

"Thank you, Chanyeol. I had a really nice evening.  Thanks for the food and the movie. Even if I fell asleep before…"

"I’m glad you enjoyed yourself."

The both of them didn’t know what they were supposed to do so they stood there awkwardly. Baekhyun looked around; suddenly everything else was more interesting.

Truth is: he was waiting. He was waiting for Chanyeol to do something. Wasn’t he supposed to end the date if he was the one who proposed it? Shouldn’t he ask for another one? Shouldn’t he kiss him or something? _Or maybe he changed his mind about me._

"So…Hum, I guess this is it for today…"

"Guess so…"

"Are you working at the café tomorrow?"

 "I think I am."

"Then, I’ll see you tomorrow."

With Chanyeol’s wide grin Baekhyun was reassured.  He couldn’t help but smile himself. He timidly looked down, ashamed of his reaction and nodded.

"Noooo, don’t look down, please. I wanted to see your smile before I left." The taller said as he lowered himself. The smaller looked him straight in the eyes and the determination sparkling there shocked him.

Then, his cheek was pecked and the world stopped.

He couldn’t think of anything. There was nothing going on through his head at that moment. There was only the view of Baekhyun, the beam of his expression.

He felt, for once in his life, like he could actually see. That what was going on before him was actually happening. That it wasn’t an illusion. That he was actually living.

The man he cherished had reciprocated his sentiments in such a simple manner but that meant so much to him because it had been done with a thought.

_I  think I might like you too, Chanyeol._


	13. Drunk In You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for blood, guilt tripping, mention of trauma and mention of/implied physical abuse.

Luhan let out a sigh.

"What’s with that sigh?" The cat eyed Chinese man asked. 

"I forgot to bring myself something to read…"

"Aaaah."

"Usually I bring myself a manga but…" He laid down on the table in front of him. "I forgot it at home."

"Poor xiăo Lu."

"And now I have to wait until my shift starts and I can’t even speak this much with you because you have to work."

He sighed once again

"Wait here," the older said leaving his friend's side.

"I have nowhere to go."

Xiumin went in the back-store and when he opened the door again he had what looked like a journal in his hand.

"Here."

"Ah, thanks, Baozi. Wait, it’s from a month ago?"

"I didn’t look. It was there so I just took it."

"Why do you keep them?"

"Lay likes reading them."

"Really? Didn’t know that."

Luhan signed his friend that a client had entered. When said man turned away he started reading. He tried convincing himself that reading the news was good for his job since he would be able to find more conversations subjects with his clients but he still got bored quickly. He continued his reading even so.

"Hey, want me to read your horoscope from a month ago?' Luhan looked up to his friend but said man was with a client.

After a while, something caught his attention. He fully recovered his concentration again to try to analyse why it seemed wrong. There was a picture in the journal. A picture of a face he knew. His first thought was "What is he doing there?' and then he realised why it all seemed amiss in his head.

The image of that person was in the death notices section. _What?_

"Baozi?"

"Hm?"

"You busy?"

"No, why?"

"Come here."

"Why? You come here."

He spoke the sentence walking to younger's table.

"What is it?"

"Look."

"Why is Tao’s face in the journal?"

"It’s not about why Tao is in the journal but about why Tao is supposed to be dead."

The older man frowned.

"We should call them, don’t you think?" Luhan proposed. 

"Yeah, do that."

Xiumin looked at the door when a client passed it.

"Go in the back store and do the call, there are clients."

 

 

 

 

He opened his mouth again to reinvigorate their kiss; the other’s warm breath tickled his lips before the feeling would be soothed by the touch of skin.

Then they would feel attached. It was an obsessing sensation and neither Kris nor Tao could control their longing for it when their eyes would meet.

Simple pecks would lead to French kisses and their sitting position would turn into a lying one as Tao would push his boyfriend down on the couch. Their ears would close up to any exterior sound other than their names in the mouth of the other and their eyes would go blind to the sights of reality.

So they didn’t hear the first time Kris’s cellphone rang neither did the man feel it vibrate in his pocket. He was way too lost in the feelings.

Then it rang another time and he couldn’t ignore it anymore. He sighed.

"Tao…My phone…"

"Stop talking."

"Tao, my phone is ringing."

"Let it ring."

He smiled to his boyfriend’s persistence but, with a last peck, he still pushed him off.

"Wèi?"

"Kris, it’s Luhan, can I speak with Tao?" It didn't even sound like a question. 

"What? Why? What’s wrong?"

"Just give him the damn phone."

Indicating him who the person on the other line was, he passed him his phone.

"Luhan? It’s Tao, why did you want to talk with me?" 

"Hey hum…So I was reading the journal earlier and there was an article that concerned you."

He instantly figured what this was all about but he still asked him to make sure.

"What did it say?"

On the other line, the older could already hear frustration in the boy's voice. He heard Luhan take a deep breath on the other line.

"It says you’re dead."

_That’s it. She is happy now I guess._

Luhan stayed silent as he waited for a reaction.  

"What else?"

"Do you want me to tell you what’s written?"

"Yes. Yes, please."

"It says you committed suicide…"

He snickered.

"That, when they found you, it was already too late…Tao?"

"Thanks, gē."

Tao was upset, fuming even and Kris was getting quite worried. _What is Luhan telling him for him to get like this?_

"I thought you would want to know...Do you want me to keep the journal?"

"No. Throw it away. I don’t wanna see it. Thanks again."

"I hope the rest of the day goes well for you."

"Mmh…Bye bye."

 He gave the phone back to its owner without a look. He rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

"Tell me what’s wrong." The latter inquired. 

"I’m supposedly dead."

Tao felt the other straighten himself next to him to get a look at his face. Tears were forming in his eyes.

"Apparently, I would’ve killed myself. I’m guessing they published that after I came here."

"I’m sorry…"

_I’m guessing she is happy now. Mom had what she wanted…_

"…I don’t exist anymore."

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun was nervous. Walking on the sidewalk of a not too crowded street, he desperately tried to breath all his insecurities out. The path was however no stranger to him. He had taken it a few times already and it always was for a sweet and warm goal. Even though there was still the same goal at the end, something had been added and that particular thing was what was troubling him most.

The best friends.

The plan was: he was going at Chanyeol’s apartment that day to eat supper formally in the company of said man’s two best friends as a proper presentation because the two had asked for one. They declaimed that it was different now that he was frequenting their friend from the time they met at the café.

It might have seemed silly to the likes of some but to him, it was nerve wrecking. To him, it was kind of like if he was to meet with the taller’s parents. He shivered at the thought. 

The scariest part of his reflections was that the both of them probably hated him. Or at least, they probably held a grudge against him because of what happened before and all the pain he had inflicted Chanyeol with his acts. He could imagine their discussions and all the nastiness they would call him when he wasn’t around. Selfish. Cold hearted.Shameless. Asshole. Whore.

He remembered how Kai looked at him that day, all the disgust in his eyes, how he judged his decisions. He had looked at him like his existence was a joke or something.

He set foot on the doorstep and rang it’s bell. Soon Chanyeol smiled at him. _It won’t be that bad._

"Hey!"

"Hey! Am I too early?"

The taller took his coat off and placed it on a hook.

"No, no. Well, except if you’re hungry right now; I didn’t cook anything yet."

"Ah, no, I’m good for now."

"Sehun and Kai aren’t there yet, they’ll arrive later. Their class finishes at four fifteen."

"Ah I see." 

"I’ll start preparing the food now so, make yourself home…"

"Like usual."

"Yeah. If ever you’re hungry I can make snacks."

Baekhyun giggled

"I’m good I said."

"Okay, okay."

While Chanyeol looked into the fridge for the ingredients he needed, the other relaxed himself on one of the counter’s chairs with a sigh.

"It’s good to be inside. It’s getting colder these days."

"Sorry I couldn’t go pick you up…I wish I had a car. Now are you okay? Do you want a blanket?"

"No, no, it’s warm here. What are you making?"

"Mini-sausages with vegetables, cool?"

"Hm."

"We like it."

Baekhyun watched carefully as Chanyeol started cutting lines in the sausages.

"Do you need help?"

"Hum…I don’t think I need help but…If you want you can start cutting the vegetables."

"Sure."

 He stood up and walked behind the counter while the taller turned to fetch a casserole for the sausages’ water. The smaller started cutting peppers and listened to what the other was doing. After Chanyeol finished filling the pot he walked to the stove. He turned back to him to get the sausages and Baekhyun could feel him looking upon his shoulders. The taller leaned in, his body on his back. 

Baekhyun felt himself heat up.

"You should cut starting from the tip." He held his hand. "Like this. Also, you should hide your fingers in your palm so that you don’t cut yourself. Yeah, like that."

Then he was back to the stove. The smaller released the breath he had been holding in and returned to cutting the pepper.

He wished something had happened just then. It had been only about two-three weeks but he was already sexually frustrated. He had already been from the very start of their frequentation. He was pretty proud of himself though. He hadn’t asked the help of anyone inside or outside the pack since he had accepted Chanyeol’s feelings towards him. He was determined to continue that way but it was getting hard on him.

The boy was scared to make a move because he thought Chanyeol might not be at that stage in his life yet. He didn’t know what Chanyeol had done in a romantic relationship before. Maybe he was uncomfortable showing affection in public? Maybe he didn’t like people invading his space? Maybe kissing grossed him out? Would he even tell him? He was too uncertain to do anything so he waited for the taller to initiate the actions.

The thing was: Chanyeol felt the same. And so, around each other, they would act as comfortable friends that joked a lot and didn’t mind silence that much but their minds were constantly full of questions.    

The human placed himself next to him to cut onions.

"Do you usually eat rice with that? He asked to diminish his tension."

"I don’t but if you want I can cook some."

"Ah, no…I was just asking."

 

 

 

 

_Ding dong._

They looked up from the utensils they were placing on the table to where the sound came from.

Baekhyun heard Chanyeol sigh and mumble a "why can’t they take their keys" before he asked him:

"Can you go get it? It’s probably Kai and Sehun."  

"Ah…Sure."

_Why must you send me alone._

"Hi, Baekhyun!"

"Mmh! It smells good!"

"Chanyeol is setting the table."

"Ah, good. I’m hungry!"

They rapidly made their way into the room the food was in.

 "Hey, you two!" Chanyeol yelled when they arrived in the kitchen. "Can’t you take your keys with you when you go out?"

"We do. We’re just too lazy to take them out."

"Tss."

"I was sooooo hungry coming here."

The two sat down and started digging food out of their plates and so Chanyeol and Baekhyun followed them.

"It tastes better than usual for some reason…"

"Yeah, did you change something?"

"Did you add anything?" Chanyeol asked the smaller sitting on his left.

"No?"

"Oh! He cooked it with you," Kai said, "then it explains everything."

There was a moment of silence that Sehun suddenly cut by breathing in noisily.    

"Don’t."

"Baekhyun, do you usually cook?"

"No, not really."

"Who cooks at your place?"

"Lay and D.O, two of my roommates. They’re usually the ones cooking for us."

"D.O’s the scary one with big eyes right?" Sehun asked for precision. 

"You’ve met?"

"Yeah, a few times." Kai replied. 

"There was that time when they were looking for you and came here," the paler boy added, "and that time where him and Xiumin saved our butts…"

"Yeah, haha…"

There was a frown in their guest’s face so they decided to change the subject.

"Anyway! I’m glad you accepted our invitation, it’s good to meet you under other circumstances."

The smallest felt himself shrinking even more as he sank in his chair being sure the other was referring to the incident.

"Since you still considered hyung as a creep back when we met you at the café," Sehun continued which reassured him, "but now that you’ve figured out that he just doesn’t know how to show his affection towards other people properly, we’ll probably seem less weird as well."

"Going there in the first place was a good idea," Chanyeol commented, "right Sehun?"

"Huh yeah…The tea was good."

"No, I mean, you got to find something interesting there."

"Or rather someone..." Kai furthered.

Baekhyun frowned and looked at the taller sitting next to him who kept smirking at his dongsaeng.

"What do you…Oh! Yeah him!"

"Were you forgetting about your first boy crush?" Kai mocked him.    

"Sehun has a crush on Luhan hyung," Chanyeol finally explained to his confused interest.

"But you told me yourself, Chanyeol: he’s a host. I’ll never be with him."

"Well, that depends of the meaning you give to 'be with him'," Kai continued his game.

"Shut up."

"He never talked to me about a partner," Baekhyun said, "he’s probably single for all I know."

"Is he into dudes?"

"I don’t know about that though."

"Aw…"

"He might be. We never talked about that. I know he has been with men, although it was for his job."

"I thought he was only a host?" Chanyeol questionned.

"He needed money."

"Ah…"

"But, he looks so innocent..."

"Dude, you didn’t even see his face," Kai said.

 "You didn’t?" Baekhyun was surprised. 

 "I only saw his profile…"

 "And then you turned gay."

 "We don’t turn gay, Kai," Sehun seriously explained,  "we just find out that, since the day we were born, we have lived in a lie indoctrinated by our society and that that is truly who we are."

Sehun nodded but the others stayed silent, eating.

"I could arrange a meeting between the two of you if you want?"

Kai watched Chanyeol smile as he turned to Baekhyun. He was pleased to see that his friend finally found his person. The one that could make his expressions soften and eyes sparkle.

"That is sweet of you but I’m pretty sure he is quite used to the situation. He would probably wave me off as nothing special. Although, I _am_ special."

"Hyung is nice," Chanyeol argued, "he wouldn’t do that."

"I’m not saying he isn’t, I’m saying that that reaction would be understandable as he probably has many people at his feet."

"Well, if ever you change your mind…I could always just present you as Chanyeol’s friend."

"I’ll think about it, thanks, hyung."

 

 

 

 

"Leave it there the movie is just starting!"

"Do you know it?"

"No, but there’s nothing else to watch."

Chanyeol tossed the remote away and crossed his arms on his chest, trying to make himself look comfortable although the both of them were tensed, sitting on the couch next to each other. They were close but were too afraid that gravity would get them closer. They didn’t know what to do with their bodies, with their hands, arms, legs, heads. They thought that maybe leaning against the other was not alright. Their relationship and the terms and conditions that came with it weren’t clear.

Chanyeol would glance at Baekhyun’s hands once in a while, wondering if he should hold them, and the latter was well aware of it. He did his best focusing on the movie.

From the looks of it, it was close to being a romance movie. It didn’t start with the beginning of a new relationship – they didn’t show how the two met and all their firsts –, they were already a couple in the beginning of the movie and their relationship was what many people would qualify as ideal. That’s how it was made to look like.

In the beginning of the movie, you could see that it was spring. There was this particular scene with the couple walking in a street lined by sakuras. The couple couldn’t look any more perfect at that moment. The girl was smiling the brightest and most honest smile she could ever sport and her boyfriend had fondness gleaming in his eyes. 

As the seasons passed, you could observe that the movie was getting darker and the colors were getting tamed. The couple seemed to stay strong but you could see that there was something going on. The man seemed tensed and tired. His face seemed to have aged and dark circles had appeared under his eyes.  Everything around him seemed dark and somber but the minute he would see his girlfriend his eyes would lit up and his surroundings would grow warm.

Obviously something had to happen. You just don’t make a story about a happy couple without their nest of rose petals being broken. That wouldn’t be worth the screen.

When winter came, so did the disruptive element. First the volume of the music lowered, allowing the audience to hear the wind in the night surrounding the girl. She walked up the stairs leading to her apartment and Baekhyun realized they had never looked this austere.

Suddenly, when she was in front of her door, the music stopped and Baekhyun held his breath without realizing it. She unlocked the door and the clicking of her keys was suddenly very clear. She opened the door.

_He opened the door._

It creaked when she passed her head inside. She called for her boyfriend with a joyful voice.

Baekhyun looked away.

"Are you here?" the girl called out. The floor creaked as she walked in.

_It was dark. There was a light coming from the half-closed door of the bathroom. It reassured him to know he was indeed there._

There was the clinking of bottles. She called his name once again. 

_He stepped in something wet. Looking under his foot he noticed the dark color and called out once again._

"Has he been drinking?"

_"Is he bleeding?"_

"Where are you?"

_"Are you alright?"_

She advanced in her apartment tripping over some more bottles.

_He walked to their bathroom. A chair had been broken and it’s parts were now discarded on the floor._

"Ay!"

_He had to be careful not to hurt himself._

"Where are you? Why won’t you answer me?" There was the sliding of a door.

_He slowly opened the bathroom door._

"You drank?"

_He was lying on the side of the bath._

"Ah. You’re back."

_"You’re back." He stood up._

"I missed you~"

_"I was going crazy without you." He brushed his fingers on the skin of Baekhyun’s neck. "There was blood in the living room, are you hurt?"_

"Don’t touch me; you’re drunk. You smell." There was a slap.

_He gripped his shoulder. "There wasn’t any blood. The only things that were spilled on that floor were my tears because you weren’t next to me. I need you, jagiya."_

"I love you so much…Why do you push me off when I show you my love? Hm?" the man gritted his teeth.

_"You’re hurting me." He kissed him and Baekhyun was pushed outside the bathroom and on the wall of the passage._

"You’re not yourself." There was a bang.  

_"What is it with you?"_


	14. His Story Repeats Itself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violence and mention of trauma.

The television turned off. Baekhyun opened the eyes he had kept close unconsciously and turned to its black screen and then to Chanyeol. There was both worry and surprise in the taller's eyes.

The latter saw the other’s expressions change rapidly. He swore he had seen fear in the beginning but then there was nothing. 

"It’s closed now."

"I know. Why did you close it?"

"Baekhyun…"

'I’m tired. I think I’ll go home now."

He stood up and walked to get his coat. He heard the other two murmur in another room about his departure.

"Wait!"

"Hm?"

"It’s night now."

Baekhyun’s expressions changed again, his eyebrows raising. 

"It’s dark and it’s cold."

He seemed to be expecting something.

"Wouldn’t it be better if you stayed over?"

_Was that..? Wasn’t that a smile? Small but still a smile…_

"No, it won’t bother us." Sehun answered while walking to the kitchen without Baekhyun’s next question being pronounced.

"Okay…"

"Okay?" Chanyeol smiled hearing his answer and his smile was contagious.  

Sehun chuckled when he passed by them and saw the light on Baekhyun’s face.

"If you want to take a shower it’s fine as well."

"I think I’ll do that, I’m tired."

"Sure. Tell me if you need anything."

"Will do."

After the smaller entered the bathroom, he went to see his friends that were playing video games –from the sound of it- in Kai’s room.

"Yo. Is Baekhyun gone?" The latter asked, not taking his eyes away from the television.

"No," the older replied, "he’s taking a shower."

"He’s staying in the end?" Sehun asked.

"Yeah."

They both looked at their friend, sensing a lack of excitation in the deep voice.

"And that…Bothers you?" Kai asked.

"Yeah."

The youngers chuckled as they put their game on pause.

"Chanyeol," Kai sighed, "just go for it."

"Yeah," Sehun approved, "I would bet that he feels the same."

"But, what if he doesn’t?"

"Then he’ll just tell you no and you’ll stop," Kai replied, "that’s all there is."

"I don’t want to scare him."

"You already did anyway and he’s still accepting to sleep in your bed, isn’t he?"

"He tenses up every time I get close to him."

Sehun chuckled. _Hyung,_ _that's because he wishes for you to do something. _

"I get that you’re worried, Chanyeol, but seriously, your self-consciousness is making you blind to his feelings." Kai declared returning to his game.

Chanyeol pouted and the tanned man added: "Go get that boy you so much love."

"Yeah but don’t make as much noise as last time," Sehun finished, "and for god’s sake don’t keep your condoms in your closet."

 

 

 

 

When he came out from the bathroom, Chanyeol was already lying down. He took a second before he tiptoed to the bed trying his best not to wake the other boy but failed.

"Ah…Sorry I didn’t ask you if you wanted me to pass you a pyjama," he said in a sleepy voice.

"I’m alright." The other whispered.

He made his way under the covers carefully. The other’s back was facing him and he pondered for a while, staring at the ceiling, if he should scoot closer to him or just keep it this way.  

He turned his head making the mattress crack and stared at the taller’s shoulder. Said man, hearing the sound of movement next to him turned his head and incapable of seeing the smaller he turned his shoulders. Baekhyun stared straight into his eyes and Chanyeol felt his blood travel through his body. His breathing stopped. He slowly turned on his side, drawn by the other.

They looked at each other for a while without there being a reason. They just did. Maybe were their souls conversing? Maybe were they mutually conforting each other because it felt the same way. They would never know.

What Baekhyun knew was that Chanyeol could sense, unconsciously, how he was feeling. His own longing could be smelled in the air. His insides condensed from excitement as he thought it would finally happen. After such a long time – two-three weeks could come off as an eternity for someone who waits- they would finally do it.

He clenched his fists and pressed his lips together in a thin line, expecting. He was trying to stay calm, to breathe slowly but that task was hard and the beating of his heart was only getting faster and faster.

From the corner of his eyes, Chanyeol could see the smaller’s chest heaving up and down at a fast rate. The latter’s eyes were sparkling and the man had to resist the urge of taking the other's petite hand in his. He could already feel the skin on his palm, his fingers, the small little members, being pressed down by his so that his hand could totally englobe his fist. Then, he would graze his thumb on its back and might as well just bring it to his lips to kiss his joints one by one.

Baekhyun’s mouth opened to let in air and the other’s eyes diverted in its direction. At first, he only looked because the sudden movement startled him but then his eyes lingered there. He thought of how soft they looked and of how soft he remembered them to be. He thought of the feeling of someone else’s lips on his. He thought of the feeling of _Baekhyun_ ’s lips on his.

Then he closed his mouth again. He bit his lower lip and proceeded to lick the upper one. Chanyeol stopped breathing for a second.

His eyes met the other’s again and Baekhyun felt his hopes be shut at the same time as the human's arousal did.

_No._

He turned his head to look at the ceiling again. This was too much. They were so close, why would this happen? Biting his lips and frowning, he tried his best not to cry. He took a deep breath:

"Chanyeol, do I turn you off?"

Said man raised himself on his elbow.

"Do I?"

"Wha…"

"Because it feels that way."

He couldn’t supress the trembling of his voice.

"Everytime…Why is it that you back off every time the mood is there? Hm? Why?"

"Baek…"

Before Chanyeol could finish pronouncing his name, Baekhyun turned around to look at him:

"I want it. Am I not good enough now that I reciprocated your feelings? Do you realize now that I’m not…I don’t know, enough?"

The taller frowned. It broke his heart to see tears in the other’s eyes.

"Why must you look at me this way? I’m not fragile, Chanyeol. I’m not…"

"It just feels like you aren’t ready."

"I’m not ready?"

"I’m sorry if I hesitate but it never feels right."

"Don’t treat me like a porcelain doll you might break," the smaller said looking up at the ceiling once again, tears falling on his cheeks. 

"I’m not treating you like a doll, Baekhyun, I’m treating you like a human."

The petite man hiccupped before thinning his lips again.

"Every time I get close to you, you tense up and you’ll never let me see when you’re afraid. It’s only normal that I’m…"

"Scared to break you?"

"Not break you."

"Then what?" Chanyeol was surprised by the man's irked tone. 

"I’m scared that you were already broken but still didn’t have enough time to heal."

Baekhyun turned to him, sobs still shaking him.

"That’s what I’m scared of."

 Chanyeol’s expressions softened to leave room for a smile he wished reassuring.

 

 

 

 

Standing in the middle of the Chinese dorm, Baekhyun had been nervously watching the door to Suho’s room. He couldn’t find the strength to enter.

He jumped when he felt his butt being grabbed.

"What are you waiting for?" Lay wondered.

"Courage."

"To speak to Suho?"

"Yeah."

Lay giggled.

"Just go."

He pushed Baekhyun in the room with one hand, with the other; he held a cup of coffee.

Xiumin turned around to look at them.

"Baekhyun, have you decided to help us do the café’s tax returns?" He whispered a word of gratitude to Lay who gave him the coffee mug. 

"God no."  

"Ah."

"Is there something?" Suho asked.

His mate sat down next to him and circled his arm around his pelvis.

"No…No, no. There’s nothing. I just…Wanted to know what you were doing is all..."

The three others frowned.

"Okay…I guess you can stay if you want…"

Baekhyun nodded and pulled a chair to get close to the desk where they were working.

Xiumin and Suho returned to their work while Lay rested his head on the latter’s shoulder. After a moment, the Korean leader decided to break the silence that had installed itself:

"So...When do you want to tell Chanyeol about the pack and all?"

As Baekhyun wasn’t answering, the man decided to turn to him. The boy’s eyes were huge. Suho laughed.

"What’s with that face?"

"You wouldn’t mind?"

"Ah come on Baekhyun," the leader continued, "you’ve been going out with him for, what, two months now? I understand that you might want to open up to him."

The younger smiled: "Thanks, hyung." 

"Do you want to invite him over so we can have a talk altogether?"

"Yeah…I think that’s a good idea."

"Sure, you can invite him whenever."

"Don’t you want to talk to Kris hyung before?"

"Already did."

 

 

 

 

"Baekhyun, get the fuck out of this kitchen." D.O said after said man spilled, yet again, some ingredients. He looked away smiling weakly.

"You’re too nervous you're spilling everything. Just go downstairs and wait for Chanyeol there."

He nodded and went to the stairs.

He opened the door only to meet a pair of big eyes. So he stayed in place.

"Chanyeol," he stuttered faintly.

"Oh, Chanyeol! You’ve arrived!" Lay shouted from behind the Korean pack member's back.  

The latter gripped Baekhyun's body and forced it close to him while he showed out a hand to welcome the taller’s.

"Lay, right?"

"Yep."

"Nice to see you again."

"Likewise. Both of you can go in the hangar, we’ll finish supper and come rejoin you after."

They left and Suho couldn’t help but comment: "well, that’s good; he doesn’t get jealous" referring to Lay’s touchiness but the latter stayed clueless as to why he said that.

After the door closed in their back and their feet started walking down the stairs, Chanyeol looked at the petite man next to him and noticed how nervous he looked. He giggled, grasping the other’s attention.

"I should be the one getting nervous; it’s my turn to meet your friends after all but you’re stressing like when you met mine. If you’re scared that I’m gonna be weirded out by you after I meet them then you are wrong, it’s not like you can get any weirder to me."

He passed his arm on the other’s shoulders laughing and Baekhyun grimaced.

"Shut up."

"And you were meeting only two people, I’m officially meeting, like what, five, six people?"

"Eight actually."

"What?" He choked on air. 

"Yeah."

"Oh god."

"But I mean you’ve met most of them at the café before, it’ll be fine."

Arriving in the hangar, the taller sat on the couch’s arm rest while the other went to sit on the couch in front.

"Yeah and it’s not like I’m meeting your parents…"

As Baekhyun made a face Chanyeol continued:

"Right. Never mind that."

As much as Baekhyun wished to keep smiling he couldn’t. It was difficult to enjoy that moment while thinking it might never happen again. _He might hate me. He might leave me. I may never see him smile for me anymore._

He knew those possibilities existed and as much as it would hurt, as much as it would tear him apart, he knew he wouldn’t be mad at him for reacting that way. He would understand. He had agreed to enter this new relationship without even talking about…

_Will you still love me when you know about this?_

It was happening again. Chanyeol was tired of seeing Baekhyun’s sun of a smile disappear behind clouds.

The taller didn’t want to point it out though because he knew the only reaction he would get from Baekhyun was an apology. He didn’t mean it as a reproach; he honestly just wanted to know what was going on through his head at that moment. Every time it happened and Baekhyun refused to open up it reminded him that he wasn’t close enough – that said man wasn’t comfortable with him enough- to open up.

He turned his head hearing someone coming down the stairs and was surprised to see Luhan’s face. He had visibly just gotten out of the shower.

"Hyung! Hi! I didn’t know you lived here."

"Actually, I don’t," Luhan said as he sat next to him, "we've talked about his before." 

"I asked him to come over because today you’re formally meeting the pack and he’s like basically part of the pack at this point." Xiumin answered.

A man he had seen only like twice at the café sat next to his boyfriend and pat his leg. _He wasn’t lying when he said they were into skinship._  

"Hi, Chanyeol, I’m Chen. It’s nice to actually meet you."

"Likewise."

"Although it feels like I actually knew you for a long time as Baekhyun keeps talking about you…"

"Shut up, Chen." Baekhyun intervened. 

"For me…I can finally put a face on the main character of many anecdotes."

"You think of me when you’re with your boyfriend?" Chen questionned his friend.

"Shut it."

The Chinese men were glad to see Chanyeol could laugh at jokes like that as it meant he trusted Baekhyun enough to think he wouldn’t cheat on him.

"What did he say about me?" Chen pursued.

"Huuuuum…There was this one story. He said this student of yours started hating you because his mom had her eyes on you and to take revenge he stopped singing in the middle of a show to make you and her embarrassed."

"Oh my god, you told him that?"  

"Yes! I remember!" Xiumin exclaimed.

"Are you ashamed of that?" Luhan raised an eyebrow at Chen.

"I just don’t particularly like this memory…"

"What were we even doing for me to talk about that?" Baekhyun laughed.

"I’m not sure…"

"And for you to pick that one to tell…"

"I remember! Kai mentioned something about wanting to become a dance teacher, so you talked about the school…"

"And Sehun said he would probably get all the ajummas at his feet, yeeesss."

While the couple continued expressing their fond memories, the cooks of the night’s supper arrived with plates and caldrons followed by Kris and Tao.

"Okay so Chanyeol," Suho started, "you have different types of food if you have question regarding the meals, ask Lay or D.O. Eat all you want."

_Holy shit that’s a lot of food._

"I think you’ve met everyone already," Suho continued.

"I think so..."Chanyeol looked around. "Oh ,wait, no. Hi! I don’t think we’ve ever seen each other."

"I’m Tao."

"Do you not work at the café?"

"Yeah no."

"Are you studying?"

And for a moment Baekhyun thought it was finally the moment. He could already feel nervosity graps his oesophagus.

"No, I just really hate humans. I don’t like going outside."

"Oh, I see," Chanyeol laughed.

Truth was. They had tried bringing Tao outside but he had ended up crying after a five-minute walk, being too receptive to the emotions floating in the air. So for the moment, he did hate humans but too his luck, Chanyeol wasn’t that bad. 

They ate and shared conversations slowly getting their guest to know the pack more.

Baekhyun still hadn’t decided himself to bring the conversation up. Suho would turn to him sometimes asking the younger with his eyes if he was ready for it. Of course, he wasn’t but he wasn’t going to wait until he was because that would never happen. So when they were all done eating and Chanyeol had made a slight comment on how much they could eat and how "[he] thought only Baekhyun ate this much" he decided it was time. Suho, getting the message, made sign to Chen, who was clearing the dishes, to sit back down.

"Chanyeol I…We have something to tell you."

Said man – that had previously been chatting cheerfully with Tao- ’s eyes grew bigger before he sat straight in his seat, a pout on his face.

"What is it?"

"Okay, so, don’t cut me before I’m done, okay? And as crazy as it might sound you have to believe me."

"Okay."

The man didn’t cut him. He told him that they were all shapeshifters that could turn into wolves, except Luhan that could turn into a deer. He told him that that was also the reason why they ate so much, having to feed their second body as well. He told him that they were able to feel people’s emotions and that it was the reason behind Tao staying indoors all the time as he had newly been changed.

He saw the man’s brows furrow to the unthinkable, however he didn’t cut him and Baekhyun wouldn’t stop. He had already started anyway.

He also told him about the mate system, explaining him that Lay was Suho’s mate and Tao was Kris’ but he didn’t tell him that he was his because _that wouldn’t be true_. _I don’t have a mate._

The others helped him when he didn’t know how to explain something but he did most of the talking on his own. That’s what he had wished to do. When he was finally done, through his nervosity, there was an inch of pride.

"I guess I’m done now…"

He turned his eyes away and smiled awkwardly.

"So you swear this isn’t a joke?"

"It’s not."

"Okay…" He turned to his right to talk to Xiumin and Luhan. "So, when I came here, that day, and I pet this dog…It was basically Xiumin-hyung?"

 "Yep."

"That explains...I was wondering where the puppy was. Well, hyung, you are really cute as a dog."

 "Right?" Luhan agreed.

 It was hard to believe. It felt like Chanyeol was moking them. How could he just believe that without seeing any proof?

"So I should…Control my feelings when I’m around you, is that it?"

"Yes, please," Chen answered, "but you aren’t that bad honestly, compared to Tao when he arrived here."

"I’m AB style" Tao explained and, to that, Chanyeol snorted.

Everyone was starting to think that the human had actually believed what they told him and were quite pleased by the fact. Suho turned to his boyfriend to share his joy and the latter answered him with a smile and getting the man closer to him. 

"Thanks for not thinking we’re freaks," Chen said.

"You’re just different."

"Yeah but like thanks for not being weirded out," the Chinese continued.

"Oh, sure. I heard a rumor about that at school at some point. Now I know it was true. Is there anything else I should know?"

"No I think th…," Luhan started but was cut by Tao:

"Heats?"

"Right, he..."

"So once in a while you get super horny?"

"Yeah."

"Like cats basically.'

"Yeah, basically."

"And..." He turned to look at Baekhyun for a few seconds. "Are you…Well I mean, would you be able to...Consent? Or like…"

"It depends but you’ll..."

Baekhyun cut himself.

"Oh. No. You won’t know." Seeing Chanyeol’s clueless look, Chen explained:

"Usually, we sense it if the other person isn’t really 'there' ya know…But it’s kinda…"

"Is there a way for me to know?"

"Just follow your instincts I guess. You still have some even though you’re not a shapeshifter."

"We could change him though," Suho proposed.  

Both Baekhyun and Tao opposed in sync without even a second thought.

"Why not?" Chanyeol wondered. "I wouldn’t mind it, if you say it’s possible then…"

"Changing is awful. Listen to me and Tao. We’ll work it out. Just listen to me and listen to yourself and everything’s gonna be fine."

Chen shared a worried look with Xiumin and their worry didn’t pass unnoticed from Baekhyun.

"What’s with that face?" He asked Xiumin but Chen answered instead, whispering in his friend's ear. 

"You’ll…Your wolf will never be satisfied if he stays a human, it’ll want another wolf."

"It’s not a question of my wolf."

"It kinda is."

"Why do you say it’s awful?" Chanyeol asked.

The petite man passed a hand through his hair making his hair lift and then fall back on his forehead.

"It just is. Your body reacts in so many different ways it’s…"

"Three first days of hell," Tao remarked.

"Three first days of hell, indeed." Baekhyun repeated.

"If it’s just three days I can stand it. It’ll be over after, I’ll be fine."

He smiled.

"You better not complain," Tao said, "we warned you."

"I won’t. Don’t worry."

"Whenever you’re ready we’ll do it," Kris said, "but I know you’re studying so you might wanna take a few days off…"

"I started my winter break already so I’m in vacation right now. I don’t mind doing it right now, if that fits you."

"Sure," Suho smiled.

"Don’t you want to think it over?"

There was concern in his boyfriend’s expressions but he wanted to reassure him. To tell him that it really didn’t bother him, that he didn’t fear it and that it would all go well.

"It’ll be fine, Baekhyun."

"You might just want to call your roommates, we’ll keep you here for a few days so that you get used to everything."

"Sure."

 

 

 

 

As Luhan and Lay had insisted to do the «ceremony» the traditional way – which was also the only way they were familiar with - the pack was now all standing in the middle of the hangar surrounding Suho and Chanyeol.

The two Chinese men had explained that for the transmission to happen, their blood had to come in contact. As Tao was making a face, they added that it could also be transmitted through contact with other body fluids kind of like how AIDS worked. On the other hand, the shapeshifter gene wouldn’t be shared just like that. The shapeshifter that would change the human had to forcibly lose his wall.

As the conditions were exposed and the "ceremony" explained, Suho insisted to be the one changing Chanyeol stating that "[he was] the Korean leader, [so he would] be the one changing the Korean members." As Kris accepted not so enthusiastically he added: "You’ll be the one in charge of the Chinese members if we have others. Just like you did with this one." He pointed at Tao who, joining the leader’s game, added: "But wait until they give you consent."

Turning serious again they watched as Lay and Luhan debated on how they remembered their elders doing it when they were children and explaining the process to the two Korean men.

"Will we have a speech to say or something?"

"I remember there being a speech but I can’t really remember what it says," Lay answered.

"Yeah, me neither, I’m pretty sure it was in dialect."

"So no speech?"

"No speech."

"Okay, are you ready Chanyeol?"

The latter glanced at Baekhyun before giving Suho an answer. His boyfriend was holding one of his arms awkwardly and rubbing it nervously.

"Yep!"

Suho used the kitchen knife the others had brought him to cut in his flesh and, when it was done he passed it to Chanyeol.

The man didn’t think more and cut his palm. Baekhyun was already having difficulties to watch.

Suho offered his hand and hurried the taller to take it as he knew his wound was already starting to heal.

As their blood joined, Chanyeol finally understood how real this was. He would, actually, never be the same person again. He would probably never be able to see the world, to live, the same way he had done until that moment ever again.

He could feel chills wondering across his body as it suddenly felt as if it all became much bigger.

Then he saw the other’s eyes turn red.

Not a word was being pronounced and their breathings were silent. Only the dripping of the blood on the hangar’s floor and the echo of the outside’s wind could be heard.

As he saw that the leader’s eyes had returned to their natural color, Lay signed him he could let go of the younger’s hand. They exchanged a smile.

Xiumin noticed a frown on Kris’ face and, curious, he followed his eyes to see that Chanyeol’s wound had already healed. _Is that…Normal?_

His view was obstructed for a split second when Lay passed in front of him to go position himself in between his boyfriend and the newly changed. _What’s happening? Why is he in a defensive stance?_

He understood when Chanyeol’s smell changed. Before any of them could make a move, the tall man got around the couple to get to Baekhyun.

D.O was the only one to react. He raised a wall in between the lovers enabling momentarily the two to reunite. Chanyeol was pissed by the action, they could all smell it.

Baekhyun started truly panicking when fire surrounded him. It kept him from seeing the others. It kept the others from seeing him. The smell of burn confused his sense of smell. He felt alone all of a sudden.

Both his hands were now down and trying to reach the wall D.O had built and on which he wished to lean on.  

They sure found it.

Chanyeol had appeared in front of him and pushed him on it violently.

_"What is it with you?"_


	15. The Strenght of the Impuissant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violence and mention of trauma + You might not want to eat while reading this.

The taller’s hands were gripping his shoulders and pinning him on the wall. He leaned closer to him to smell his hair. Baekhyun couldn’t help but flinch.

_"I need you."_

The latter stayed still, his hands hoping they could grip the wall, while Chanyeol’s made its way to his head and tilted it. He could now freely have access to the smaller’s ear and neck. Said man tensed when he felt the other's lips brush his skin. The taller’s hands lowered themselves. They grasped his arms, thumbs rubbing on his sweater.

He exhaled and Baekhyun’s whole shivered.

 

 

 

 

"Shit!" Kris yelled.

"What happened?" The Korean leader was confused.

"Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to happen…" Luhan apologized.

Tao took a run towards the fire all of a sudden but Kris was quick to block him.

"Stop!"

"Why? It’ll heal anyway!"

"No, it won’t!"

Tao backed off a frown on his face but Kris decided he would explain it to him later. He turned his head as Suho was trying to create an opening through the burning barrier.

"Kris!" The latter shouted for his fellow leader. 

Understanding what the fellow leader was asking for he ran and jumped into the circle. He went straight to Chanyeol and with all his might he pushed the guy off Baekhyun. He didn’t hesitate. Using both their confusion as his chance to get out, he flew up the fire. It grew stronger, the wolf not wanting him to get out and take Baekhyun with him. Kris only had a second to react and spare the smaller from getting burned. That change in track made his landing turn disastrous. They rolled on the ground, the leader protecting his member the best he could.

He got fast up on his feet and yelled to the fellow leader to get Baekhyun, Tao and D.O out of the hangar.

As they ran to get out, Suho supporting Baekhyun, the circle of fire opened to let Chanyeol walk out and, formed in his back, burning wings of misfortune.

His eyes turning to his helpless mate, the Korean leader stopped in his track, imagining the worst. _Stay._

"Get out!" Kris screamed as he saw the newly turned shapeshifter’s eyes looking in their direction. It sure shocked Suho but not enough to make him move. He watched as the fire turned in their direction. It would hit all of them.

It would have, if Xiumin didn’t oppose the fire with ice. The latter repeated: "Get out!"

It was D.O that finally got Suho and Baekhyun out. He pulled them and raised a wall to replace the door.

"We need to get away, hyung! Get a grip of yourself!"

Doing so, the Korean leader took his weakened member in his arms and ran with the other two.

 

 

 

 

"Do you sense that?"

There was knocking on the door.

"Oh! It’s you g…" Victoria was cut by Baekhyun pushing her to make his way in the apartment. Luna, who was behind her, followed him to the bathroom with a look to her leader. When the noises of the boy’s vomiting and the door closing behind the girl were heard, Victoria turned to a drenched Suho on the porch.

"What happened for him to…"

"It’s Chanyeol, he…"

"What? No. Impossible, that kid is way too sweet," Amber commented.  

"He wasn’t exactly himself."

"No. Suho, no. Don’t tell me…"Victoria understood. "God, no, you didn’t do that."

"I wouldn’t have if I had known he would react that way! It took Tao three days before he could shift and we still don’t know what his power is!"  

"Chanyeol’s a male, it’s not the same!

"How was I supposed to know?" The wolf pack's leader roared. It shocked everyone in the room.  

He rested his elbow on the cd rack they had next to their television. He passed his hand in his face.

Seeing how the wolf’s pack leader was reacting, Victoria took a step back to change her attitude. He visibly regretted his actions so it was no use yelling at him. Moreover, it was true that he couldn’t know. She knew because she had assisted to rituals often when she was younger –she was surprised Lay hadn’t remembered that detail because she knew he had also seen some- but he hadn’t. He was visibly blaming himself for reopening one of Baekhyun’s wounds. But…

"There’s something more." She questionned.

It took a moment for the man to answer.

"Lay stayed there…What if he…"

"That won’t happen."

"He’s a healer! He can’t defend himself…We’re supposed to keep healers away from battles; they are no use during them. I should’ve stayed."    

"No. It was good that you left. I’m sorry Suho but your wolf’s a female; Chanyeol’s would’ve wanted to get right to you and you would’ve endangered the others."

"You need to trust them more," Sulli added.  

The man took a deep breath and nodded.

Amber looked at Tao who stood in the entry, exploring their apartment with his eyes.

He thought it looked warmer and cozier.

When you entered you faced the kitchen: there were cabinets on the wall with utensils hanging from under; counters underneath where the colorful unwashed dishes were disposed next to a dark sink; a cooking island where he was sure the stove was and a black fridge.  The furniture was mostly made of wood, like the walls around it, which gave this chalet feel to the room while still looking modern.

Right in front of the island, at only one meter – if it wasn’t less- from it, was this long white couch were a few Christmassy blankets and cushions were tossed in honor of the festive season coming up.

Then, behind the sofa, was the dining table –a thing the pack’s place lacked-. It was a simple wooden table that fitted with the rest of the furniture under this skylight that completed the high ceiling.

Looking up he noticed bars high on the walls and for a moment he didn’t understand why they were there until he remembered that the members of this household transformed in birds.

The kitchen, the dining and the living room formed altogether the Christmas-decorated main room.

The pack’s home looked cold compared to this with the grey concrete walls and floor of the hangar whose only furniture was the two dark couches and a white table. The interior of the dorms were pretty much in the same shades and every pieces of furniture were modern and simple.

Now that he had left it to look at another house, he realized how the style made it seem so huge, so full of space while there the color and the furniture filled the empty spaces of warmth.

"You can enter, you know?" Sulli interrupted the visit of his eyes.

"Yeah! Come sit down!" Amber pursued. 

"They don’t bite, they don’t even have teeth," Suho tried to joke looking as morose as earlier.

"Let a bird bite your lips," Amber replied, "you’ll see a beak can inflict pain just as much as fangs."

"She’s talking from experience," Sulli commented.

"Totally," the other confirmed. 

"Where is Krystal by the way?" D.O wondered.

"The baby went to sleep," Amber answered, "was tired from her day at work."

"I think I’ll do that too," the female leader added, "you four can sleep here. I’ll go check on the boys tomorrow for you."

"Thank you."

 

 

 

 

When the females got out, the fire disapeared. It's owner first ran to the entry door to try to get to his boyfriend but as he noticed it had been blocked by D.O, he turned around trying to find another way out. He looked at the ceiling where the trapdoor was opened. He could faintly recognize Baekhyun’s smell but it slowly got covered up by the rain that had just started to fall.

The others gave a quick look to Chen knowing he was the one behind it.

Chanyeol then ran towards the stairs, he entered the Korean dorm and then no other sound was heard from that direction.

"Shouldn’t we go see what he’s doing?" Chen asked.

"I think he just smelled Baekhyun’s scent in his room," Kris answered, "let’s just stay here for now."

He walked to the couches and let himself fall on one of them. He took his foot in his hand and inspected it.

"We should put cold water on that," Luhan said seeing the burn on the other’s foot.

"I’ll go get it." Xiumin answered and with that made his way to the Chinese dorm.

Lay sat down on the other couch without a sound. He rubbed his hands trying to get the trembling out of them.

They waited silently for Xiumin to bring back a tub of water for Kris to treat his burn and stayed silent even after.

After a good fifteen minutes they decided that Chanyeol would probably not be moving and that it was better to get rest for when he would as they were all exhausted by the shock they just had.

Luhan, whose body was used to night shifts, proposed himself to stay up and vigilant for any action from Chanyeol.

Thus, their night began.

 

 

 

 

As the minutes and hours were ticking by there was no sign of any movement. Luhan was the only one in the house that was awake. Everything was silent. With Chen falling asleep, the rain had stopped and only the distant sound of speeches and cars could be heard.

The deer had been busying himself with his cellphone. He had previously texted Suho, informing him that everything was alright and that no one was badly hurt. Now that the man was also asleep, he had no one to talk to.

He closed his phone, not finding anything interesting to see any more on the internet. He slouched on the sofa and looked at the hangar’s ceiling.

He stood straight again, hearing an unusual sound. He looked at the staircase. Chanyeol was coming their way. He shook both Xiumin and Chen that were sleeping next to him.

The latter turned to him, wondering why he woke him up but then froze seeing how he was staring at the staircase, wide eyed. Chanyeol was standing there looking at them, fuming for some reason. Chen turned around to see said man staring at him. He stood up, carefully walked to him and spoke his name in the calmest voice he could get out of his mouth in that moment.

"You smell like him."

Chen gulped.

"You’ve been with him."

_How could he possibly…_

"You knew he was mine and you still dared to touch him!"

With Chanyeol taking a step forward Chen stumbled backwards.

The Korean man wrinkled his nose. He quickly moved in the other’s direction but the latter avoided him.

"Chanyeol, hear me out."

Said man turned his way swiftly. He tried to get to him. Chen couldn’t avoid him forever. The taller tackled him on the ground and grabbed his throat. Feeling his air conducts being blocked by the pressure, he panicked. His reflex was to grab the other’s wrist and try to pull it off. It was to no avail. He coughed out a few weak "stop" but the wolf just wasn’t listening to him.

Luhan was trying to get Chanyeol off Chen with his telekinesis but the man was just holding to strongly.

"You touched my property!" The man's gnarl resounded. 

The wolf moved and they heard a crack.

Chen stopped struggling.

He stopped all movement.  

He looked down to see Chanyeol’s foot pressed on his left leg. He looked up again, staring in his dizziness at the taller’s eyes. He noticed Lay was now trying manually to get the other off him.

He slowly saw the wolf calm down and as he was taken away by the Chinese man. 

Chen frowned.

He took in the air he couldn’t have access to in the past seconds while also realising that his leg hurt tremendously. He could feel it shake with spasms. He closed his eyes and restrained himself from screaming while he hit the floor repetitively with his fist.

He sensed Xiumin kneel to his right and his hand on his forehead. He slowly cooled down but the pain was still very present.

Lay came back and got down next to his leg. The man gently put his hands on it. Chen opened his eyes to observe his actions and saw him gulp as he was inspecting the state of his member.

"What’s up?" He questioned with repressed voice.

"It’s totally broken."

_What do you mean by that?_

"What can you do?"

"I’ll have to re-place your bone manually so that it re-solders correctly."

"Do it, gē."

He saw him give a look to Xiumin and said man spoke:

"Look at me."

He obeyed.

"If I look at you while he does this…I’ll associate the pain with your face and won’t be able to look at you the same way."

"Then, you’ll understand how I feel about you every day."

He chuckled for a moment and then Lay started pressing on his calve to move his bone. He cried out and swore mentally that nothing could ever feel as uncomfortable as this. His right leg bended unconsciously and he hit the floor with his foot. His fingers were trying to grab the floor and his head turned from right to left lifting once in a while. Xiumin moved to keep his head still between his knees, preventing him from hurting himself any more.

Lay stopped his movements and Chen opened his eyes, his entire body trembling.

"It’s replaced but I can’t weld it back myself."

"It’s alright, we understand," Xiumin assured him, "it was Chanyeol after all."

"Can’t you...Just ice the bone…Back together?" Chen asked looking up at Xiumin, panting. 

"Plans to get your state worse. It would literally be putting ice directly on your nerves, do you get how painful that would be?"

"Yeah…okay…"

"I’ll fix the internal bleeding for now."

"Don’t…Don’t exhaust yourself…" The lying man demanded.

"I won’t. We’ll have to find some way to keep your leg still for the bone to weld properly. You’ll have to walk with crutches."

"Sure…"

Lying on the floor and trying to regulate his breathing once again, Chen looked at his assailant. Lay had put him to sleep and he was now sitting in front of him, leaning on the wall. He looked so calm and innocent like that, it was weird to think that he had just attacked him. _Well it’s technically not him._

"I can’t believe he was able to smell that."

"It’s been a while for Baekhyun and you, right?" Kris asked.

"Yes. Since they started dating."

"I thought Baekhyun didn’t want to say they were dating," Lay commented.

"They are dating."

"Ah."

"It’s his wolf," Kris proclaimed, "it’s looking for Baekhyun."

"But, it’s been so long."

Kris shrugged.

"That means he’s his mate, right?"

"Yeah."

"And Chanyeol is Baekhyun’s?"

"Pretty sure."

"That’s going to be hard for him to believe." The healer said and Chen sighed.

 

 

 

 

The Chinese men had fallen asleep again except for Chen and Xiumin who were chitchatting tiredly on the floor. Chanyeol hadn’t moved one bit. They could see the sunlight in the ceiling’s trap door signaling them it was morning.

"What’s up with you, Chen?" Victoria inquired, putting on a dressing gown.

"My leg is broken."

"Ouch, for real?"

"Yeah. Are you sure you want to be here though?"

"I came for Suho. Except your leg, how did everything go?"

"After they left he went to sleep in Baekhyun’s room so we had a break."

"By the way," Xiumin added, "Kris burned his feet."

"Ay, how?"

"Chanyeol’s power is fire."

"Oh. Is the burn really deep?"

"No, no."

"Okay…And now he’s there."

"Yeah he came down, smelled me and attacked me because I had sex with Baekhyun in the past."

"That’s kind of funny," Victoria giggled.

"How is that funny? It hurt like a bitch."

"You’re right," she smiled, "it’s better now?"

As he nodded, she turned her head to look at Chanyeol and then glanced at Luhan. She got close to the latter and woke him up.

"Jiějie?"

"Hey, sorry to wake you up. I’m checking up on Chanyeol, can you back me up if something happens?"

"Sure."

He straightened himself. She then crouched in front of Chanyeol. She poked his shoulder to wake him up. He slowly opened his eyelids, blinking a few times. He frowned.

"Hey, Chanyeol. Do you remember me? We’ve met at the café before."

"Victoria…"

"Yes. Do you remember what happened yesterday?"

He frowned again. He suddenly looked at Chen and his eyes opened wide. He looked to his sides at the hangar’s floor he had no idea how he had ended up sitting on. Then worry popped in his head.

"Where’s Baekhyun? I didn’t hurt him did I?" Victoria started reassuring him but he ignored her, sensing Chen's switch of emotion. He stared at him for a few seconds before looking to the floor, ashamed.

"Chanyeol, I’ll be testing your ability to control your wolf to know if I can tell the others to come back."

He took a deep breath and nodded.

There was this feeling that started in the pit of his stomach and climbed up his throat. It was an awkward feeling. It reminded him of what he felt as he watched his mother cry the death of a brother. It reminded him of what he felt as he told his parents he would leave for Japan. It reminded him of what he felt when a classmate wouldn’t get the grade they aimed for. It put pressure on his chest. It made him want to apologize.

It died down.

Soon it was replaced with the sentiment that he had to hide. It was what you felt when you were near an impatient adult in a store or when your parent scolds you. It made him feel smaller.

Something inside him seemed prepared to fight.

It quickly stopped and he had to readjust himself with the next feeling. He inhaled deeply his cheeks taking a new shade of pink.

Victoria made it last for a few seconds before she visibly relaxed and giggled as she stopped.

 

 

 

 

As the wall of stone that was blocking the entry disappeared, the other members came back. D.O was the first to set foot inside. He followed Xiumin’s sign to come to Chen and him.

"What’s up with him?" The Korean man asked. 

"I broke my leg."

"Can you make him a splint?"

"Sure."   

The others followed D.O inside. Baekhyun stayed close to Suho, head low. He didn’t feel like making eye-contact with Chanyeol just yet.

The Korean leader quickly searched to meet with his mate’s gaze and felt relief flow down his body to the sight of his smile. He walked to him, the two others following his steps.

Baekhyun went straight to the stairs and they watched him as he climbed them and opened the door to the Korean dorm. Chanyeol followed him.

Tao sat down on a couch’s arm rest, giving his seated boyfriend a pat on the back.

"Is Baekhyun pissed?" Kris asked.

"No…Chanyeol and him…They need to have a chat." Suho answered.

Lay looked at the others occupied with Chen’s case. D.O had finished making the Chinese man a splint and the latter was already trying to get up.

"Wait. You should lie down for a bit first."

"Ah, come on, Lay, I’ve been lying down for hours and my butt hurts."

"We’ll bring you to your bed. I think you should stay still for a few days."

"A few days?"

"Maybe not, I’ll see."

Chen let out a small cry. He started levitating as Luhan received a sign from Lay to do so.

They got him to the Chinese dorm and to his bed.

"I think I’ll just accompany you in sleeping if you don’t mind me," Luhan said when he released the other, I’m working tonight so I’ll need my sleep."

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol carefully walked in the dorm. He heard Baekhyun opening and closing the doors of his furniture. The boy then walked and a door clacked. After a moment he heard the running of a shower. He walked to the couch knowing he would have to wait a bit for his boyfriend to come out.

After the shower stopped it took Baekhyun a few minutes to come out.

He slowly walked out the room wearing new clothing and holding the old one in his arms. His hair was down with a humid look to them. He went to pose the clothes on the counter. He turned around and looked him straight in the eyes.

They stayed liked that for a while and Chanyeol realized how unreal it felt. It felt like, for a moment, time stopped and transported them into another universe where there was only them. It felt like he didn’t have any needs. His body didn’t need food, sleep or air.

He could observe the dark of Baekhyun’s eyes and hair and the pale of his body. With the window letting in the faint light of a cloudy day, everything seemed blue and gray. But Baekhyun was there with his rose man-to-man contrasting with everything else.

He really looked stunning, ethereal even. 

He walked to him and Chanyeol followed him with his eyes.

He sat next to him and let his head fall on the other’s shoulder. Moving his hand slowly, the taller placed it on the other’s head to pet his hair. Baekhyun rubbed his cheek on his shoulder before taking a deep breath.

"Regarding what happened earlier…I unders…I know that you weren’t aware of what you were doing…That you weren’t controlling your movements. I’m not pissed, if you were worried about that. On the spot…I was scared shitless but now I see that you’re you and I’m better…God, I’m making this so dramatic." He scoffed. Chanyeol only smiled faintly.

They stayed silent for a bit before Chanyeol pursued.

"I wasn’t scared that you would be mad actually…I think, when you came back, what I feared most wasn’t that you might be pissed but that we might have turned back to how it was in the beginning. That would have been quite frustrating. And I would have been mad at myself because it would’ve been my fault."

"You didn’t know you would do that." 

"Still."

"It wasn’t you but your wolf. You don’t need to apologize."  

"Still, he’s a part of me now. I’ll have to deal with him."

"How could you control something you are not aware of? Or were you?"

"No…I don’t remember anything…But I’ll find a way to control it…What did I do?"

"Nothing too bad, I just…I just got scared…We went at the girls’ pack."

"Yeah, I know. Victoria came to test my…Hum…Receptivity? I guess."

"I guess you could call it that way, I don’t really know the terms either."

Baekhyun giggled and with that tried to move from Chanyeol’s shoulder but the latter didn’t permit it. He pressed his boyfriend’s head back on his shoulder and said man frowned, a smile on his lips.

"What is this? Can I not sit properly?"

"I’ll let you go later, I just really feel like being close to you right now."

"Well, someone’s affectionate all of a sudden."

"I am. Also, don’t find me creepy but: have you ever smelled this good?"

"What the fuck, Chanyeol?" The smaller voiced, moving away.

"I don’t know why it’s just…It really feels like I want to be with you, not that I’ve never felt that way…It just…There’s something inside me that pulls me to you, I’m guessing it’s my wolf…It feels so weird…I’ll get used to it at some point I guess. I might be in some kind of heat or…"

To that Baekhyun laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Sorry, it’s just, we don’t say males get heat; we use the term rut instead."

"Aren’t they the same thing?"

 "For us, no, but in the animal kingdom...I have no idea to be honest. You wouldn’t be touchy feely in rut, in heats yes, oh god we are, but not in ruts."

"'We'?"

Baekhyun stopped himself for a few seconds.

"Oh. I forgot to tell you."

Chanyeol tilted his head on the side.

"Our animals can technically have the opposed sex as we do. Like for example me: my wolf is female."

"Oh. Okay. In the pack, are there other females?"

"The ones that left the hangar when you…Got out of control are."

"So you, Suho-hyung, D.O and Tao?"

"Yeah."

"And the others are male."

"Yeah, well, we still don’t know for Luhan yet."

Chanyeol frowned.

"His deer isn’t sexually confirmed yet."

The man’s frown deepened.

"It’s something to do with heats and ruts. Basically he didn’t hit puberty yet so they don’t consider him as sexually…I don’t really get it either to be honest. This world is still pretty vague for me even after two years."

The taller laughed, slapping his boyfriend’s shoulder with his hand.

"Oh and by the way, wanna know your power?"

"Shoot."

"Now that I think about it, it’s kind of funny."

"What is?"

"Well, you control fire."

"Nice."

"And I control light and in a way the two are connected you know. Fire does light."

With the look Chanyeol was giving to him, shifting positions as his eyes were wandering around, looking at the floor and then back at him and then to a wall next to them and then back at him, a cheeky smile on his lips, Baekhyun understood that he had formulated his thoughts in a wrong way.

"That is not what I meant and you know it!" He screamed." Perv'!"

They both guffawed.


	16. The Sun After the Storm Might Just Be Picking Up the Pieces of Its Havoc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for scars.

As D.O opened the door to the Korean dorm in order to make the pack’s breakfast he noticed the position of Baekhyun and Chanyeol on the sofa. He sighed mentally to the thought of dealing with that for the next few days and maybe weeks.

Alone in their little personal universe the two were kissing. The taller was turned to his boyfriend a hand on the sofa between the latter’s legs to maintain stability. The other was sitting, back slightly arched, with a hand on the couch while the other laid on his stomach. The hand twitched, grasped his shirt before wondering off his body and on Chanyeol’s while giggling. He massaged his tight and the man exhaled deeply.

"Don’t mind me. I’m just coming to make breakfast,"  D.O startled them and Chanyeol immediately sat back down. The standing man smirked happy that his plan to separate them worked.  

"Hey D.O," the tallest started and the other turned around to acknowledge him. He stood up and with a "I’ll help you" he walked to his dongsaeng. 

A grumpy Baekhyun was left on the couch.

"By the way," D.O began, "Lay’s staying over to take care of Chen so if there’s anything you can go to him, kay?"

"What’s up with Chen?"

"…He broke his leg."

Chanyeol raised his eyes from what he was doing to look at the younger. _I did that?_

Seeing the question in the taller’s eyes D.O answered him with a nod.

 

 

 

 

Opening the door to the café, he was met with a smile. It took him a few seconds to recognize the person to whom it belonged. It was the first time he saw the person sporting a happy expression.

"Oh! Hi, he said when he had figured out who the other was."

"Hi."

Kai gave his command, a newfound prosperity at heart. While the older man prepared his beverage he pronounced a question that had come to his mind:

"Hey, I’m sorry," he started, "what’s your name again?"

"D.O. I don’t think I ever told you so no need to apologize."

The tanned man stayed silent, comfortably leaning on the counter.

He pursued:

"When were you born?"

"Nineteen ninety three."

"So you’re older than me…Oh but you are younger than Baekhyun, that’s quite surprising."

Realizing his statement could be interpreted in many ways he precised: "Not that you look old, you simply look more mature than him."

D.O smiled at him while giving the taller his tea.

"Thank you, have a nice day!"

"Have a nice day!"

Suho arrived behind him. That young man was a new face to him.

"Who is he?"

"One of Chanyeol’s friend…Don’t remember his name."

 

 

 

 

At the end of their day at work after a night that became longer than planned, the members all sat on the hangar’s couches and ate supper together. Even Chen who was now walking in crushes after Lay had found out that it was fine for him to do so. Coming back from the café, D.O had made them for him and the other was immensely thankful. He really didn’t like the idea of having to stay in bed for a day or more.

As for Chanyeol, he had passed out soon after the others had left for work. They had to carry him in Baekhyun’s room and he had slept until they woke him up to know if he wanted supper. Baekhyun had spent time with Lay because both Chen and Luhan had also been asleep most of the day.

"I’m taking a shower first," Kris said after they finished eating.

"Sure," Chen answered, "can I go second?"

"Mind me joining you?" Xiumin raised an eyebrow at him.

"Mind making it three?" Chanyeol asked teasingly and Xiumin winked at him.

"Hum, no thanks, I’ll be fine."

"Why don’t you take a bath?" Lay proposed. "That way you can relax and you’ll be able to sleep better."

The guy hesitated but then the younger had continued convincing him by saying they would wash up in the morning and that they also had a second shower in the Korean members’ dorm.  Following that, Kris had proposed his mate to accompany him and the other quickly accepted.

The older started filling the bathtub, sat next to it, leaning on the edge to check the water’s temperature while Tao was undressing. The latter had soon finished and kneeled next to his boyfriend, his body pressed on the other’s back and his arms enlacing him. He laid brief kisses on the man’s shoulder and neck before the other turned around to join their lips. They smiled.

Kris stood up and started undressing as well.

"Hey, it’s not against you I’m just really tired…"

The other looked away, a sassy pout on his face and Kris leaned down to pose a peck on his hair before entering the bath. Tao soon joined him.

"By the way," said man began trying to look at his boyfriend behind him, "you still didn’t explain me why you stopped me yesterday."

"Yesterday? Oh! From entering the fire?"

"Yes. Why does it not heal? Is it because it’s powers? Do shapeshifters have a thing against fire? What is it?"

"Hm…Well…It’s quite complicated…When a shapeshifter inflicts a wound on another be it with their powers or with their own hands…The healing time becomes the same as a human’s."

"That’s quite simple."

"Yeah cause I made it simple."

Tao raised an eyebrow. _Being cocky I see._

"So yesterday if you had stepped into the fire your skin would have burned, we would have had to bring you to the hospital and stuff…" 

"Yeah but we kind of can’t."

"Because you are not supposed to be alive, yeah."

The younger stayed silent, rubbing his thumbs on the other’s hands.

"We never talked about that after…"

"It’s all cool. You’re working a lot these days because Christmas is coming so I understand we…"

"Tao, it’s been two months now, I wasn’t in the Christmas rush in November, we just didn’t talk about it and I feel kind of bad about it. I wasn’t too sure if it was okay to bring it up but I at least want to ask now, do you want to talk about it?"

"Kris, I…"

"Because I do worry about you, I wonder how you are taking it…I can’t feel or smell all your emotions so I need to have this talk with you, like humans do, because I need to know how my mate is doing."

Tao’s head was pressed on Kris’ torso looking at the humid carrelage of the bathroom’s wall.

"I don’t want to talk about it. I’m fine in the pack and I don’t want to think about outside for now. But trust me, I’m probably gonna burst out at some point, might break something in the go and rant all I have to rant to you. I swear. Just…Not now."

"Okay. That’s fine."

"Thank you for bearing with me."

"Do I even have the choice?"

"Shut the fuck up, you love me."

"And you love me."

"I don’t know…Do I?"

"Do you?"

"Well, you are a good fuck but you’re also an ass."

"And so are you."

"Which one?"

"Both."

 

 

 

 

Lying on his bed, head sinking on his pillow and his mate’s head on his chest, Suho was biting his lips, sighing and fidgeting with the bed sheets. He had been staying like that for a good hour and Lay had ended up falling asleep. Once in a while he would turn to him, thinking he had finally found the right wording to tell the other, and, every time, he backed out. Then, he took a deep breath and called out the other’s name. The latter only hummed in response.

"Can we talk?"

Lay straightened himself while taking in some air.

"Sure, what’s on your mind?" he answered settling his arm on the older’s shoulders.

"Can I ask something of you? If something like yesterday happens again…Can you please leave with us?"

"Ha?"

"I was terrified to know that you were still here and that there was no way you could protect yourself against Chanyeol’s powers."

"Su…"

"You’re a healer, Lay, not a fighter."

"Suho."

"Something could happen to you what if you…"

"Suho, I understand your worries but staying here…"

"Was dangerous!"

"It was and I know it."

He calmly took in some air before continuing.

"If I hadn’t stayed Chen would probably be dead right now and I would regret leaving for the rest of my life. I took a decision and I was perfectly aware of the risks, Suho."

"Can you be a bit less selfless once in a while?"

Suho sat on the bed turning his back from his mate. He rested his head in his hands.

"Don’t think I wasn’t also terrified. In fact, I don’t think I have ever been this terrified in my entire life before. And I have never felt this helpless…To see you frozen there with the fire coming in your way…"

"I didn’t want to go because I was too scared something would happen to you, Lay." 

"I’m not reproaching it to you. I just want you to know that I was also scared to lose you… But I am also scared to lose the others so of course I would want to protect them. You are as much family as they are to me, I grew up with Chen, Kris-gē and Xiumin gē. And Lu-gē and Chanyeol, they are slowly becoming part of our family as well. They needed me, so I chose to be there for them. I would have regretted it otherwise. I’m able to realize that now."

"So you won’t do this for me?"

"Don’t formulate it that way."

Suho’s shoulders heaved and Lay could hear the muffling of his sobs. He crawled to his side of the bed and sat next to him, a hand on his back, trying to create eye contact. His mate would look away with a frown. He apologized.

"It’s alright, we’ve had a long day with only little sleep and a whole ton of emotions. You’re not any less of a manly man to me." Lay comforted him.

Suho chuckled.

After he had wiped his tears, he took a deep breath.

"I’ve seen it happen...Both D.O and I have seen it happen; someone losing their mate…I just never want me or anyone else to feel that. So please…Never do anything reckless."

"Don’t worry."

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were both lying down back to back. Neither of them would dare to make even the slightest move. The tension in the air was high as always. It would be that way everytime they lay next to each other. Whenever they slept in the same bed they would stay tense despite their will to be comfortable around each other. They just couldn’t get one idea out of their mind and it was that the other might make a move. Maybe this time they would share a bed for something more than just sleep.

Even though they had agreed on taking things slowly and even though they had discussed the reason behind this agreement, it just couldn’t get out of their head. It was an eventuality after all. Maybe one day, the other would decide that they had been going slow enough and that the time had come. When even was the good time? How long was the "going slow" part supposed to take? They would always end up sleeping anyway and wake up the next morning as calm as ever knowing perfectly that this debate had taken place in their heads the night before.

And here it was again, the contemplating of the possibility that their bodies might rejoin again into heated and passionate love making.

But this time it was different. Chanyeol could sense through smells and vibes how Baekhyun was feeling. He could perceive that Baekhyun was ready and that he was cogitating just as much as him in that moment. It reassured him to know he could rely on his newly sharpened senses -  if ever he doubted the will of his boyfriend to do something, he could just listen to them and he would know – but it also enchanted him even more.

Attracted by his thoughts he turned around to meet the other’s back and greet its beauty. 

Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat.

He turned around to stare at the taller’s eyes and as he saw the cocky look on the other’s face he didn’t hesitate to lock their lips together, climbing on the other’s torso. He imprisoned his body between his two legs and his mind with so many thoughts. There was a smile on his lips while they touched his and when they would part ways the smaller would let out small chuckles.

He would pass his hands in his hair, massaging his scalp and Chanyeol would attempt to do the same hoping his boyfriend would pick up all the passion he could grasp in the latter’s touch. He touched the older’s face, brushing his thumbs on his eyes. He let his hands slide on the other’s body from his shoulders, passing by the skin on his ribs to massaging the hollows of his back to faintly caress his seat – too faint for Baekhyun’s own taste- and to let his fingertips make their way under his shirt and let space for his palms to gratify his skin of physical warmth.

Baekhyun was quick to take the other’s top off and, letting his hands graze over the taller’s body, he noticed it had changed, being firmer than the last time. He gave himself a mental note to ask the man if he had started going to the gym.

"My turn to be undressed first?" Chanyeol jested.

"If you wanted it to be the other way around," Baekhyun exhaled, "it was your job to act first."

The older gave his torso a peck before reaching for the other’s pants and getting them down, uncovering his manhood. He proceeded to do the same with his own and when it was finally out he reached for his night table and took out some lube with which he coated his fingers. He tossed the bottle back on the table. He pressed both of their members together and started jerking the both of them off and _god_ his small fingers on the taller's shaft felt marvelous but, seeing his petite hand couldn’t wrap them completely, the other decided he would help.

Baekhyun slumped on the other’s body, his head buried in his shoulder. He let out audible breaths next to the other’s ears which turned on the younger even more. He hugged the smaller close to his body with his free arm and petted his hair.

Posing his eyes on the other’s wiggling butt, Chanyeol’s hand moved on it’s on. Leaving the two’s members, it made its way on top of Baekhyun and into the back of his pants. His fingers moved with the shape of the bun and the middle one slid between the two cheeks, rubbing the sensible entry.

The petite man tensed in his hold letting out a small whine and as he pushed lightly on the skin it grew louder. He let his finger rub the asshole moving up and down, he would sometimes let his hand descend lower on the butt and his fingers graze the petite man’s gouch being attentive to every reaction Baekhyun would have, warmth filling him up whenever the latter would moan his name.

With a smile, he pushed his lover on the bed in all the tenderness that could be distinguished in the shadow of his enticing. 

"No doubt…" Baekhyun murmured and Chanyeol hummed cheekily as a response, finally inserting a finger in his hole, there was an inch of interrogation in his tone.

"You’re a tease," he supressed, his muscles contracting at once in a spasm of gratification. The taller kept going, pushing the finger in and pulling it out at a pretty fair rhythm. It provoked the frowning of the other’s eyebrows and the closing of his eyes followed closely by the softening of his traits and the gaping of his mouth. His breathing was deep and surprisingly enough, he was silent. Baekhyun was bewildered. _Did I miss something? When did he get this good?_

He didn’t stay silent for long.

Chanyeol quickened his pace accelerating at the same time as Baekhyun’s heartbeat and then the vocal capacities of the petite man were finally revealed. His moans kept exiting his mouth accompanied by a few "ssibal"s here and there – mostly the first syllable as he was too breathless to actually finish his words-.

Then he inserted a second finger and the only sounds that would leave the older’s body were long and pleading whines. The taller truly mislaid himself there, without losing his wall he was truly nowhere near conscious for a few moments, he was just overruned by the pleasure he could sense emanating from the man under him.

As he was gratifying himself some care, still maddening his lover, he noticed a petite hand making its way to its owner’s satisfaction hole and didn’t hesitate a second to push it away which procured him a nice sounding complain from Baekhyun. It was such a high to hear his boyfriend pronounce his name in this high pitched voice he had never heard him use before.

Something forced him to stop any action. A rush that sprung inside of him all of a sudden, a truly electrifying feeling that ran to every corner of his body and even to the tip of his toes.

Baekhyun opened his eyes, breathing again. He turned his sight away from the ceiling and to in front of him, wondering why the bed was suddenly empty. He called out the other’s name, voice weak from all the moaning. He looked around and straightened up as he couldn’t see Chanyeol.

Turning to his right, he saw on the floor a ball of fur. It looked at him, ears pressed down on his head and big eyes. The older called the other’s name once again and the wolf whimpered as an apology. The smaller sighed and dropped on the bedhead.

Standing up on his four legs, Chanyeol walked to the bed and sat in front of it, putting his paw on the mattress. His boyfriend turned his head and looking at him straight in eyes: "I knew it was too good to be true," he declared, which he had entended to be more of a joke than a reproach. The dark ears of the wolf flattened themselves again.

Baekhyun patted the bed to sign the other to jump up.

Sitting on the bed, the animal put his tail between his legs, shameful of his erection but the older had already noticed and was quite disgusted.

"Chanyeol-ah, I really like you but I won’t sleep with an animal just because it’s you."

With that the younger concentrated all his might to change back to his human body. Baekhyun watching him was weirded out by the process of the wolf limbs growing back into human ones. When it was finally over he looked in the other’s eyes and smirked:

"Good boy." 

He gripped his neck and pulled him closer to kiss him once again.

Chanyeol resumed the pleasuring of the both of them by taking a hold of their members and pumping them slowly, their tongues and lips being in sync with his rhythm. The smaller then realized how much he had missed it, how much someone else’s hand on his shaft felt different and how pleasurable being with someone else could be. Masturbating hadn’t been enough. 

"I love you, Baekhyun." He heard and only moaned in reply letting himself be immersed by the heat of the other’s body and words. "Saranghae." 

"I love you too."

"Saranghae."

"I really do, Chanyeol."

"Saranghae." 

Chanyeol extracted a long whine from his lover as he hastened his pace.

The latter heard the breathing of the taller in his ear before feeling liquid spread on his abdomen. Post-orgasm, Chanyeol continued jerking them off until his boyfriend would come to his own termination.

With the softening of his expressions, Baekhyun’s semen joined the other’s on his body.

The two looked at each other and smiled, letting out small giggles. The taller lowered himself to peck the petite man’s nose which forced the other to wrinkle it in a playful grin.

Before he reached for the tissues to clean his hand and Baekhyun’s tummy up, the latter softly posed his lips on his.

"That was very nice…" He complimented as Chanyeol was cleaning him up, "I’m glad we could finally…"

"Nado. I’m sorry for the little incident though."

"It’s fine, I get that it’s hard to control."

"Mmh…"

The newly changed shape-shifter smiled before continuing.

"Like your voice…I feel kind of bad for the others…"

"Ya!"

"It’s true you’re really loud. I had noticed before but…"

Baekhyun tapped him on the shoulder and the taller showed him how perfect his dentition could be.

"Do you like making fun of me?" He followed Chanyeol with his eyes as the latter threw the tissue away.

He slipped under the covers, removing them from under his boyfriend and covering him with them as well.

They lay facing each other, slowly falling asleep.

Chanyeol had observed during their love making session and had noticed a few things about Baekhyun’s body that had made him quite sad as the lights had stayed opened: a few white stripes on his skin. Some were bigger than the others. Some weren’t even stripes but shapes. Some weren’t even white but still reddish. Vestiges of the past. Vestiges of the pain.

The taller didn’t want to bring the subject up because he didn’t want to bring back bad memories for Baekhyun but he really wished that, one day, they could discuss the matter.  He would wait if what he needed was time but he couldn’t hide that the older opening up to him would be the greatest compliment he could make him.

It would mean he would trust him.

It would also mean that the pain had humbled enough for him to talk about it.

It would mean so much.

But, as for that moment, they would start by falling asleep aware of the other’s heartbeat next to them.

That was enough.


	17. What Is Stupid Might Sometimes Be What Is Needed

Half-asleep, he turned around only to be surprised when the arm he had intended to extend in all its length on his mattress ended up posing itself on something hard: something that was, like the arm itself, made out of bones, nerves and muscles; a fellow arm.

Why was there even one of his next to him? As the Center of Control sent it a mission to discover the answer to this question, the frail ends of the member started inspecting the surroundings, trying to find any explanation of the presence of the foreign member. They sent a message back to the Center of Control: a report of their discovery.

There was something else attached to it.

The thing was made of the same substances.  _A body?_ They continued examining the thing. It emitted warmth and according to the Nasal Corps, it had a nice smell – mixed with the scent of sweat-. They had to know if it could react, they had to know if it also had a Center of Control.

"Yah! Why are you pinching me?" Came a shout. 

"Huh?"

Baekhyun opened tired eyes to meet with a half-sitting Chanyeol. The taller looked at him bewildered.

They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Were you dreaming?" The younger asked.  

"Mmh…" The other smiled. "Good morning."

Chanyeol sighed as he lay back down.

"Good morning."

The older turned on his back and rubbed his eyes.

"Were you aware of it?"

"Hm? What are you talking about?"

"So you were aware of it…That’s not a nice way to wake me up…"

"What are you talking about?"

"Stop playing dumb."

"Chanyeol."

The other looked straight in his eyes, in all seriousness.

"So you weren’t…"

"What? Tell me!"

"You pinched me."

Baekhyun took a moment.

"That’s all?"

"What 'that’s all'? You pinched me in your sleep!"

"I thought you had a more serious matter at hand to discuss. What do you want me to do about that?"

"Tell your subconscious that he isn’t very nice."

"Yeah yeah, I’ll tell him next time." Baekhyun snorted.

They both relaxed on the bed, giving themselves more time to wake up and simply appreciating the presence of the other next to them.

The night before, they had finally dealt with the source of so many awkward moments between them and of the fore sleep over-thinking.

Baekhyun had started believing the matter might never solve itself. That thought had made him quite depressed. Even though they had discussed the matter, he had still believed that it was because his boyfriend didn’t desire him which led to him stressing over the possibility that the man might decide to leave at any given moment.  

"Chanyeol-ah?" The petite man started cuddling the latter’s torso, eyes looking up at him. He really had the ability to always look at him in the most unflattering angles for the taller and the sexiest angles for himself. 

"Hm?" Was what the other answered doing his best for his feelings not to be noticed.

"Thank you for yesterday," Baekhyun smiled at him in the cutest teeth showing smile.  

"Oh. Hum…"

"It was very pleasurable… I enjoyed it very much." 

"You’re welcome, I guess," Chanyeol smiled.

The older moved his head to look at the other’s chest. Taking in some air foresighting the following speech, he moved his hand to caress the other’s skin.

"I need to ask something though, and I want you to be a _hundred_ percent honest with me."

Chanyeol gulped. He had nothing to hide – at least he thought- but he was still nervous for some reason.

"Did you practice with someone else than me between the last time we had sex and yesterday?"

"What? No!" Chanyeol sat up. "Of course not! Baekhyun I would never…"

"Because you had gotten a whole lot better and you seemed to have muscled up so I was wondering…"

"No, Baekhyun. I promise you, I did not!"

"Not even with like Kai or Sehun..?"

"No!"

"Okay, I believe you."

The taller paused an instant to frown at the situation.

"And you?"

"Hm?"

"Did you practice with someone else?"

"I was experienced enough; I don’t think I needed practice…"

"Did you have sex with someone else?"

"Well, you know..."

"What? You did?"

"Not after the date, no. But before…Well, you know how things were."

"Right…Wait. You didn’t have sex at all?"

"Nop."

"Really?"

"Yep."

Chanyeol looked at him astonished.

"Why are you looking at me like it’s the greatest accomplishment I have ever done? I’m not that much of a horndog, don’t exaggerate."

"Well…"

"Shut the fuck up."

Baekhyun threw his pillow at him.

"Would Chen be able to testify if I asked?"

"I am not always in heat, Chanyeol!" He yelled. "God. Yes. He would tell you the same thing I just told you. I. Did not. Have sex. With. Any. One. Else."

"But did you jerk off?"

"Chanyeol!"

He pushed him. 

Baekhyun turned away and, with a voice lower than previously, he answered: 

"Of course I did."

"You did?"

"Didn’t you?"

"You have a point."

"Of course, I have a point. I still have a sexual drive even when I’m not in heat, Chanyeol."

There was a nice shade pink on Baekhyun’s cheeks that lessened the confidence he was trying to give his words. As his boyfriend smiled knowingly, Baekhyun turned his eyes away.

Chanyeol’s phone started vibrating and ringing and he got off of bed a frown on his face. The smaller was surprised seeing the muscles on the other’s back. His body was getting rather defined. _What the hell…_

"Kai?"

"Hey, hyung," he heard Sehun’s voice on the other line, "you’re on speakerphone." 

"Nice to know. Is it just the two of you? Why are you calling in the morning like that?"

"Yes, it is just the two of us and…"

"We wanted to get some news from you is all."

Chanyeol frowned and Baekhyun looked at him wondering if something was wrong.

"Did you guys break the TV or something?" He heard Sehun gasp at that.

"I am hurt."

"Can’t we just ask how you are doing?"

"I guess…"

Silence.

"Aren’t you going to answer?" Kai prompted. 

"What?"

"How are you doing?"

"I’m doing fine. I’m being fed and treated very well, is that good?"

"Okay…"

"And you two?"

"Oh, we’re doing fine," Kai answered.

"Yeah, fine," Sehun repeated.

"We just wanted to call," Kai continued, "see how things were going for you…"

"They are going great."

Chanyeol glanced at Baekhyun who smiled timidly.

"That’s nice," Kai responded genuinely, "well if ever there’s something…Call us?"

"Sure."

"Okay, see ya!"

"See ya!"

They hung up.

"What did they want?"

"They just…Wanted to have news from me?"

"Oh my…They are already missing you?"

"I guess…They sounded very gloomy and cheesy and what the fuck."

Baekhyun laughed at how moved the other was.

"Do you think they might be scared?" Chanyeol pursued.  

"Scared of what? Being alone?"

"No, no. I mean like, maybe they think I’ll leave them for you or something…"

"What? But you wouldn’t."

"I know but…"

"Do you think they could believe that?"

"Maybe? I would…"

"You would?"

"I mean I would be saddened if one of them started distancing themselves from us because they found a girlfriend or something…I wouldn’t stop them but of course I would be scared that our relationship would slowly break or just disappear…I don’t know."

 

 

 

 

After lazing around a bit more, the couple finally got out of the bedroom. They took their showers one at a time to rejoin with the rest of the pack afterwards. The shapeshifters were already done eating when they arrived in the hangar, a few of their gazes turning to the men in the stairs to acknowledge their presence.

Not wanting to break the conversation they were having, they only exchanged greeting nods before picking up plates and filling them with food. Chen scooted closer to Lay to make place for the others that wanted to sit. Sadly, there wasn’t enough space for two others on the couch so one of them would have to sit on the arm rest or stay standing. _We would need to get chairs in the hangar._

Baekhyun looked over at his boyfriend -  _ah that’s weird he’s my boyfriend now -_ and the man didn’t even leave him the time to ask before signing him that he could sit on the couch. The smaller let out a silent «thank you» before sitting next to his friend while Chanyeol sat on the armrest next to him, the latter taking a bite of his food while looking at Kris talking.

Turning his eyes away from the tall man to Xiumin who was continuing the conversation, Baekhyun noticed Chen’s eyes on him. His vision switched to his face and the man, seeing he finally got Baekhyun’s attention, gave him a knowing look, the corner of his lips rising. With the other’s changing expression as he did so, the younger smile’s transitioned to a sweeter one.

Baekhyun knew the others had heard them; the walls weren’t sound proof and he knew it. If they hadn’t already been having a conversation the pack would have probably greeted them with a remark on their - well mostly his - loudness.  

And there they were.

Chen scoffed, bringing his friend closer to him with a hand on the small of his back.

Turning back to the discussion that had been taking place even before they entered the room, Baekhyun finally realized the other’s expressions.  They all sported very serious looks, some frowning, some biting their lips. Suho was taking deep breaths while rubbing his hands on his face while the others stared at him, his boyfriend rubbing circles on his back.

Baekhyun glanced at Tao, the taller looked lost, not as much as himself though, but still lost. It seemed like, whatever the situation was, he could be of no help and stayed sited next to Kris awkwardly. The atmosphere was tensed and Baekhyun wished to know the reason why.

 The petite man turned to Chen for an explanation, whispering in his ear.

 "Lack of communication between the café’s proprietors," was the other’s reply.

They heard Suho declare: "I’m going to call them and tell them I’ll pass during the day" followed by Kris and Xiumin’s approval and the female wolf standing up.

"Mind clarifying?" Baekhyun pushed.

"From what I understood someone was supposed to come by the shop yesterday to drop coffee beans but Kris hadn’t informed Suho of such delivery. The guy didn’t come but since none of yesterday’s workers knew about it, it passed unnoticed…Until this morning when Xiumin asked about it."   

"Ah."

_The usual._

Feeling Chanyeol’s discomfort next to him he turned his head, the other’s attention already on him with question marks in his eyes. He smiled at the younger, closing his eyes momentarily, signing him that he shouldn’t try to understand.

"Okay, it’s settled. I’ll be going to get the order," Suho let out sternly.

The two other owners smiled.

"I’m glad we could…"Xiumin began but was cut by the younger.

"I’m not done yet." He apologized to the older for cutting him before continuing, staring straight at Kris: "As I was supposed to work today, someone’s gonna need to replace me, right?"  

"Hum…Yeah…"

"And I remind you that we have three – sorry no four-," he corrected himself giving Chanyeol a glance, "of our members that can’t work and the others already have schedules."

"Where are you going with that?"

"I’m saying that we might have to precipitate Tao’s accommodation to the human world, and guess who’s gonna deal with that? You, Kris."

The two members that composed the couple stayed still for a second, taken aback by Suho’s words while the latter frustratedly walked up the stairs.

"I thought he would just ask me to go in but seems like that’s not gonna happen," Baekhyun commented.

"That would be too easy," Xiumin replied, used to his partners’ squabbles.

Tao stood up chasing after the older, yelling his opposition to the latter’s idea to which they heard Suho shout: "Blame it on your boyfriend."

Kris pursed his lips together, defeated. He wasn’t surprised when his boyfriend fell down on the couch, crossing his legs, a salty pout on his face and looking away. He was voluntarily letting the other - and everyone in the room by the same occasion- be aware of his state of mind.

They stayed silent until Suho came back after only a few minutes, Chanyeol only letting out a weak : "I understand why he said he was AB style now" in the meantime. When the water wielder set foot in the hangar the fellow leader spoke.

"I thought I might remind you that we had agreed to not get Tao out without a mask and a cap as for now and that he can’t really wear those working in the café."

"I know. _I_ remembered."

"Then…?"

"What? Did you think I would change my mind? I called the girls. They’ll be here in about fifteen minutes."

"Why did you call them?"

"Have you ever heard of makeup?"

"He’d be a bit tall for a girl, Suho."

"I never said I asked them to help him cross-dress. No way I’ll be helping you and your weird fetish."

Suho let himself appreciate the irked yet embarrassed expression on the man’s face before stating his final blow.

"And, by the way," the man continued holding paper currency between his fingers, "you’re paying for the taxi."

He pecked his boyfriend and left without a look back.

 

 

 

 

To everyone’s surprise, Tao’s first day in the café wasn’t going as bad as they expected. Sure it didn’t have a good start, the young man having been in a really unpleasant mood and he made his boyfriend suffer from it. His rage had however diminished as the day passed, starting to forget that he was supposed to be mad at the taller when people kept complimenting his looks.

The girls had done a really good makeup job on him. It put the young man in a better mood but that didn’t stop him from giving Kris grumpy looks. The younger had spent nearly fifteen minutes watching himself in the mirror when the bird shapeshifters had finally put their brushes and pencils down. At least, it had felt like fifteen minutes to Kris as he had spent all that time also looking at the reflection in the mirror, his attention on how the dark wings had accentuated the shape of his eyes and the somber color of the powder applied on his eyelids drew the attention to the very center of the orbs. The girls had gelled his hair back uncovering the Chinese man’s forehead and giving the latter a more mature and serious air to him.

Simply put he was breath taking.  

_Makeup can surely change someone._

The girls were sure proud of their work and they had all the reasons to be; Kris not even able to apply makeup correctly on himself had a hard time understanding how someone could do it on someone else so magnificently. They proposed dying and cutting his hair when they would have more time but the man hesitated and told them he would think about it.

As the day passed, Kris found himself being sort of thankful to Suho for forcing the situation on them. He was glad he could spend a day with his mate outside of the pack’s doors and since he was supposed to supervise him he could observe Tao and have an excuse for it if the younger got pissed off.

Tao’s task of the day was run the cash. They had explained him how it worked and what he was expected to do and also presented him their most popular drinks and pastries to get him to know their products. If there weren’t any costumers coming in he could go to the ones occupying the café’s chairs and ask if they needed anything.

He was doing well even though he had been very nervous in the beginning and practically slapped a few stressed and/or angry costumers. But that was understandable.With Christmas coming up the customers were getting more and more impatient, rushing because of work or because of holiday shopping. Tao, still being new to his more acute empathy, was having a hard time dealing with it. The fact that he had literally started the same day wasn’t helping.

However, good clients happened and it helped setting the Chinese man’s mood up.

After finishing taking the order of one of them - an old Japanese lady with a sweet smile, gentle smell and calm vibe to her- and reporting it to D.O he turned back to see her looking up at him, sighing and leaving a genuine smile spread on her face.

"You know why I love coming here, sweetheart?" Tao only shook his head, kind of surprised by the woman’s sudden question.

"Every time I step in here, I’m always met with the eyes and smiles of fine young men just like you."

She stared at him and Tao couldn’t stop his cheeks from turning pink.

"You might want to know that, at my age," she continued, "I don’t get to have handsome boys smile at me like that. No no, men don’t look at me anymore. The only things ever smiling around me are the forehead wrinkles of my husband…Coming here I get to see smooth skin and sparkly eyes filled with energy and…Future.  I can feel young again…Thank you for being as handsome as you are, your girlfriend is really lucky." 

Tao smiled awkwardly and bowed a weak and unsure "thank you". He jumped a bit when D.O passed his arm next to him, giving the woman her tea accompanied of chocolate bread. Seeing the man she continued:

"I really don’t get how every single one of you can be this handsome. Really, I’m sure you guys work in this innocent café during the day and are hosts at night in Kabukichou. Don’t even try to lie to this obaa-san. She knows your secret."

She squinted her eyes jokingly and D.O laughed at her comment. She bid them farewell.

She was turning around when they warned her, Tao leaning on the counter in hope of grabbing her sleeve or something to stop her. As she bumped into the hurried customer, the others realised it was too late and had already started feeling sorry for the woman and for the one who would have to clean the mess.

However, their train of thoughts stopped right in place as nothing happened. The two customers stayed frozen there, the old lady stuck with a shocked expression as she leaned on the tall and slim woman that had just entered, her tea on the verge of spilling from the cup.

The three shapeshifters also stood frozen, shocked by the scene happening before their eyes.

D.O frowned, putting his hands back on the counter. He looked around. Nobody was moving. There was literally no movement in the café, no sound either. Not even the turning of a newspaper page or faint sipping of coffee.

He turned around as he heard the Chinese leader let out a barely audible "what" only to share his confused expression.

Looking at the man beside him, still holding his breath, and looking at his position; a hand stretched out to the small and gentle stranger, an explanation popped in his head but he didn’t voice it out just yet.

He watched as the younger recovered from his shock quickly jumping of the counter to run to the lady, a tissue in his hand.

Positioning himself in front of the lady, he grabbed her cup and pressed the tissue on its edge between the thin and the old women.

Suddenly everything started moving again. They heard the tall Japanese’s gasp combined with the smaller’s «yikes» but nothing happened. The tea didn’t stain neither the young woman’s shirt nor the café’s floor and no one was burned by its heat. They sure stayed shocked though.

"Are you okay?" Tao asked the both of them, hesitation tuned his words.

"My my, yes I am, thanks to you, sweetheart. You really have good reflexes. How good must it be to still be young…"

"Yeah, thank you."

Tao smiled awkwardly, returning back behind the counter not giving the two other workers a look. He stayed standing with his arms crossed while they served the hurried client and only looked up when he felt their eyes on him.

He felt guilty in a way. He knew, for some reason he was sure, that what had happened was his doing. He wasn’t completely aware yet of the rules regarding the use of powers outside of the pack but he felt like it wasn’t something they were supposed to do.

_It’s not like I wanted to...Well, I kind of did but I didn’t think it would happen._

He looked at them, pitiful, begging them with his eyes to forgive him. They still looked shocked, most likely taken aback by the discovery of the man’s powers.

The younger looked away, pressured by the silence and by his senior’s gazes.

It was D.O that broke the silence.

"So you stop time, huh?"

Tao, surprised by the warmth of the other’s voice, looked up. _You’re not angry?_

D.O laughed turning away at his expression. He went back to doing whatever he had been doing. The smaller speaking up made Kris get a hold back of his senses. _Yeah. That’s only what it is. Tao just discovered his powers and used them for the first time._

He mocked his own self. _That’s all that happened._

"I guess," was Tao’s only response.

A new customer came in and Tao was fast to go help them.

_I guess, in the end, pissing Suho off is not that bad._


	18. The Havoc of Past Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning/Recommendation: You might not want to read this while eating.

A few days had passed since Chanyeol’s transformation. Contrary to Baekhyun and Tao’s first days as shapeshifters, his were going pretty softly. It was making his boyfriend quite envious. The tall man had no symptoms of nauseas, no excruciating pain and no loss of body mobility. Nothing that was evident. He was sleeping a lot more, yes, eating a lot more, yes, but the rest was just tiny details that would probably have passed unnoticed if Baekhyun had not been in his company so often or if he had never seen him naked before.

The young man had been more temperamental to start with, one thing Chanyeol had noticed himself. Not that he had started a fight with any of them after the incident. Rather than that he was simply getting annoyed more easily. If a noise in the dorm was ticking him off, if he couldn’t find the answer to something he was searching for or even if he was cooking and someone came too close, he would lose patience. One in a while it would result in him hitting a piece of his surroundings and it made Baekhyun uncomfortable and jumpy. He would fear the noises the dorm made, the absence of answers and the invasion of his boyfriend’s personal space.

He hoped the new behavior would change with time and his wishes seemed to be granted slowly. He could cope with it for now though, it happened only once in a while and he could see the man was taken aback by his own self every time it did. _It’s not him._

Another difference he had noticed in the younger’s behavior was his more frequent need of physical contact. Simply put, Baekhyun had noticed the man was hornier these days. It wasn’t even simply his wolf, Chanyeol himself had been more inclined to accept and even initiate their making out and sex – because for now it wasn’t what the older considered making love - sessions because the man’s libido had simply increased.

It might have been quite annoying at times when the petite man wasn’t necessarily feeling in his best - either being too exhausted or simply not in the mood- and forced to decline but he wouldn’t complain. After all, the lack of sexual activities had been a problem between the two of them for the first months of their relation so he was glad it wasn’t the case anymore.

Moreover, Chanyeol’s physique had changed; he didn’t think he was hallucinating anymore, he was sure of it. The man’s muscles had definitely grown in mass and definition. Even though it sounded impossible to the human-raised Baekhyun and he had wondered for a while if the guy hadn’t been doing exercise in his sleep or something, he wasn’t that surprised. The transformation had a similar impact on Tao and his’ body; fat was eliminated more easily and their muscles had become firmer and slightly bigger.

_Chanyeol’s growth is just unfair._

The dongsaeng he had known as a skinny, tall and deep voiced Korean was gaining weight in an oh so handsome kind of way while still growing a bit taller and all he had gotten was a firmer tummy.

But the man was getting pimples here and there so it was fine. _At least he’s not getting everything good._

Obviously, Chanyeol had also noticed these changes about himself and was using them to tease Baekhyun as he had realized the other’s saltiness regarding the matter but also –and nonetheless- his weakness to the changes.

However, the tall man wasn’t conscious of the amplitude of his power on the smaller as another fact added to these: the change of the man’s corporal odor. While Baekhyun knew the others had noticed it as well – Chanyeol not included- he didn’t think his scent affected them like it affected him.

It made him feel _weak, powerless,_ because only when he was with the man could he feel strong.

Chanyeol’s scent was dragging the older to his side and, there, it played with his head. Like a drug, it would relax him and stop him from thinking, englobing his brain in some cottony fog. He would suddenly feel blissful and calm, wanting to give into every single one of the other’s requests.

Then he would get his senses back. Only, even though those moments lasted merely a few seconds, the time of a sniff of the air, it was enough to scare Baekhyun.

For a second, looking at the others sitting around him in the hangar, eating the supper D.O had kindly made for them and discussing in small groups, he felt alone. The voices in his head were stronger than the ones around him.

_Maybe I’ll be able to make him stay._

He turned to Chanyeol, looking up at the tall man sitting on the brand new bought chair and pivoted to speak with Luhan to his side. He could only see the man’s back, his hair and a part of his ear. As he anchored his gaze into the back of the other’s head, the latter’s cell phone started vibrating.

He excused himself to look at the caller’s identification and seeing it was his roommates calling, he stood up to answer.

"Hey, I hope you’re not calling me because you broke the tv or something."

"We didn’t break the tv," he heard Sehun announce, "we didn’t break anything."

"Nice. Hey guys I’m sorry but can I call you later? We’re having supper now and I kind of stood up to an..."

"Actually, hyung," Kai had a calm but grave tone, "if we could talk right now it would be great."

Chanyeol fell silent, frowning. His sudden change of attitude didn’t pass unnoticed from the others.

"What’s up?"

"We had a break in…"  

"Oh my god. Are you two alright?"

"Yeah we are f…"

"Is my guitar alright?"

"Your guitar is fine as well."

"Oh, thank god."

"What’s going on?" Baekhyun asked.

"Someone broke into our apartment," Chanyeol explained, taking the mobile off his ear to put it back again, "did they steal anything?"

"They didn’t," Sehun answer, "at least, from what we’ve seen so far."

"They mostly only did a mess around the apartment."

A heavy silence fell on them. Chanyeol frowned at the last bit of information as he rested his hand on a chair for support. He made a quick eye-contact with his boyfriend, noticing how genuinely worried he looked before Kai continued.

"Hyung… There’s something we should tell you…"

"If you put it that way I’ll get nervous you know."

"Ne…Sorry…"

The oldest waited but they didn’t talk.

"Kai-ah?"

"Hyung, the people that came in to mess up the apartment…They are people we know."

"You know them?"

"They came here a few days ago…They are asking money from us."

"How much?"

Chanyeol looked in his pockets for a wallet he didn’t have on him.

"Tell them they can come over," Baekhyun insisted.

"Too much, hyung," his friend responded on the other line, "it was a warning of sorts I guess."

Baekhyun was saddened as he observed the younger’s terrified expression since he couldn’t find a way to help his dongsaengs.

D.O stood up.

Chanyeol heard Kai sigh on the other line.

"Hyung, what should we do?"

There was a crack in his voice and it shocked the tall man to witness the younger in this state.

D.O took the phone away from him.

"Hi, guys? It’s D.O."

"Ah, hyung…"

"We’ll pass pick you up. It takes about half an hour to get to your place in a taxi, I think, so that gives you time to pack anything you want to bring. You’ll be safer here."

"O-okay, thank you."

When he was finished D.O passed the phone back to the taller to pick. He went to Suho to ask him his phone and while he started composing the taxi number Baekhyun talked:

"I’ll come with you."

To which D.O nodded.

 

 

 

 

Walking up the stairs to the boys’ apartment, D.O tried his best not to reflect too hard on the fact that this scenery was familiar. It wasn’t the first time the man had climbed stairs to an apartment that wasn’t his to retrieve someone that needed safety.

Baekhyun next to him wasn’t helping and slowly the memories resurfaced.

He sighed.

The other noticed the action and looked at the man that continued walking up the steps. Concerned, he continued nonetheless.

They finally reached their destination and were shocked noticing the door that had been kicked open. The knob had been plucked off; a woody hole was its only remnant.

The door was closed but with only a little push it opened up on its own. They informed the others of their arrival taking a glimpse of the surroundings.

Lying clothes in the entry had been pushed to the side as well as small pieces of glass, leaving a passage. Baekhyun pushed D.O to the side, hurrying himself in the apartment. He looked for the boys around the house, turning his head to the right to look in the kitchen and the living room he noticed the mess. On the kitchen floor, utensils; open bags of chips; crushed fruits; dissembled meat; broken plates, mugs and glasses; and everything that could possibly have been found in the cupboards were lying on the ground in a carpet of haphazardness. As for the living room, the cushions of the sofa had been cut open and both the bodies and the insides had been thrown around. The lamp next to it had fallen to the ground, the glass of the bulb scattered there. The tv had curiously been left untouched.

He turned to the left and to the boys’ room, deciding that it was no use contemplating the mess for too long. Seeing they weren’t there either and hearing their voices coming from Chanyeol’s room, he headed there carefully watching where he stepped.

Walking in, he noticed they had their hands and heads into the closet.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for something," Sehun replied.

"Well I guessed you weren’t looking for someone."

Sehun got his head out of the closet to look at him, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. He glanced at the wall and then back to him:

"I could have made a coming out joke but the mood isn’t there. Where’s Chanyeol?"

"He stayed at the pack, D.O came with me."

"Why? Is he sick?"

"Eh yeah. He got the flu the other day so we thought it should be better for him not to go outside."

_Yeah, like that’s true._

"Ah."

"We’re looking for Chanyeol’s guitar case," Kai’s muffled voice came.

"Oh, you’re not looking in the right place."

Kai got out, sitting on his knees and followed Baekhyun with his eyes kind of annoyed by the fact that he had been looking in the wrong place for so long. He saw the man bend next to the bed and pull the black case from under.

"Here. He keeps it under his bed."

"Aish…Why didn’t we think of checking there in the first place..."

"He keeps his music sheets where others would keep their porn magazines," Baekhyun explained while he carried the case next to the guitar and proceeded to put it in.

"As expected…," Kai commented.

"He jerks off to music sheets?" Sehun frowned and the older boys looked at him, amused by the youngest’s comprehension of Baekhyun’s words.

"What?" Sehun wondered, the corner of his lips slightly turning up, having completely understood the meaning of Baekhyun’s words but choosing to play innocent.

D.O stepped in the room, gathering their attention while he looked at the floor to prevent himself from stepping on anything sharp. He looked up at them:

"Are you guys ready? I don’t want the cab guy to wait for too long."

"Ah yeah, our bags are in the room," Kai answered, "I’ll go get them."

"Do you want to bring anything else? The door can’t really be locked now so..."

Kai stopped to look back at his friend.

"We’ve packed our clothes mainly," he said, "and our playstation and games… Sehun-ah is there anything you wanted to bring else?"

Said man shook his head.

"No but like, things you wouldn’t like being stolen," Baekhyun continued.

"Ah…We don’t own a lot of expensive stuff, except like the living room’s tv that cost us an arm and a leg."

"And the body of our little brother," Sehun added.

"Mmh, that too."

After giving them a small frown, D.O pursued:

"We could take the tv, do you still have the box?"

"What do you mean you could take the tv it’s heavy as…Oh right."

Sehun stopped and looked at the small man.

"I’ll get the box," he said.

After putting the television in its original packaging, Kai and Sehun picked up their bags while Baekhyun insisted on carrying his boyfriend’s guitar on his back. D.O and him carried the television down the many floors and the two youngest were amazed by how easy it looked for them even if they had been a bit out of breath when finally sitting in the cab.

"Are you kids moving?" The cab driver had asked them after helping putting their entire luggage in their car.

"Ah no…We’re just going to spend a bit of time at their house," Sehun had explained and the Japanese man giggled.

"Then why are you bringing a television?"

 

 

 

 

"You live in a hangar?" Sehun asked, arriving to the pack’s home.

"Are you judging us?" Baekhyun replied.

"I am."

"Could you slide the door open? That would be something useful."

"I could."

Kai sighed - a hint of amusement could be perceived in the action - and opened the door for them. Baekhyun and D.O carried the large box inside quickly making way for the two boys and, putting it down, D.O went back outside to pay the driver with the money his leader had lent him.

"My babyyyy!" They had heard Chanyeol explaim while he practically ran to them and Baekhyun knowingly pulled the guitar case’s straps off his shoulder to hand the instrument over.

"Thanks," he smiled sincerely at the petite man. He looked at the large carton box on the ground. "Guys, you brought the tv?"

"We were scared it would get stolen if we left it there," Kai explained.

"Aaaah."

"Just leave it there for now," D.O said coming back inside, "we’ll move it at some point."

"Right! We should present you two to the others."

Said others had been listening for a while, Suho hesitating between standing up to greet them and staying put.

Chanyeol pulled his friends further into the hangar and stopped right before the couches.

"Guys, they are Kai and Sehun, my dongsaengs and best friends. Please treat them nicely."

He turned to D.O when he heard the younger let out a "ah" as he finally learned the others’ names.

"Kai, Sehun; that’s Kris-hyung, the Chinese leader; that’s Tao; you already know Xiumin-hyung; that’s Luhan-hyung; Chen-hyung; Lay-hyung and Suho-hyung, the Korean leader. You’re the youngest…s here so show them respect."

They bowed respectfully and Chanyeol grinned.

"You missed D.O," Chen laughed.

"Ah," he looked at the man, his eyes big, scared of what would happen to him, "I thought they had already met though…"

"Mmh. We did a few times," D.O agreed smiling calmly at the taller which reassured said man.

"Since presentations were made I’ll take the floor to say that we are glad to welcome you under our humble roof," the Korean leader declared.

"Oh my god," Chen cringed, "you’re making things awkward again!"

"How? What did I do wrong?"

"You’re being too formal!"

"Well, excuse me! Would you have want me to greet them with : 'hey waddup! You can piss in our loo!' instead?"

"I believe there’s a middle ground to those."

"It’s nice having you over," the Chinese leader sighed.

"See!" Chen designed his gēge, "he gets me."

While the man’s whining continued, Sehun held his look on a new face.

The person’s features were – and Sehun wasn’t even surprised- truly hypnotizing. That day, the man’s ash blonde hair had been styled back giving him the opportunity to really admire every detail of his face like the delicate shape of his nose and the pale skin that covered it or the dark of his eyes and the way they would sparkle under the light _– were they always this humidified-_ or even the pink of his thin mouth and the way his upper lip formed two sharp mountains. He didn't have the chance to really see his face back when he first met him, so he was contented to finally see him. Although the man had had makeup when he had first noticed him and the man now had a more tired complexion, he still looked stunning.

Of course, the way Sehun looked at him and the emotion he held when he did so didn’t pass unnoticed from Luhan who looked back at him. The younger’s face stayed straight but his feelings were strong and the older could almost feel the increasing beating heart of the tall male.

He held the stare; looking away would be a submissive reaction, something he would do as a host but was forbidden to him in his everyday life by his own values. _Wǒ shì dàzhàngfu._

Kai elbowed his best friend and the latter turned to him naturally like he hadn’t been staring at his elder for five minutes. The other also played the game, doing like nothing happened as they didn’t wish to gain the pack members’ attention.

They hadn’t totally succeeded but the men in question wouldn’t declare themselves.

After staying in the hangar for a bit more, Baekhyun and Chanyeol showed them around the two dorms, stating who’s room was whose, showing them the bathrooms and telling them where the towels were if they wanted to shower. They welcomed them to eat anything they wanted and to just generally feel at home as there weren’t actually any rules in the pack except the basic laws like no murder "and that kind of stuff".

They quickly wondered where they would be sleeping as fatigue was pushing itself on them. Baekhyun went to ask the other members for an arrangement while Chanyeol stayed with his friends.

The older came back with the two boys’ bags and an answer to their question.

"You won’t mind sharing the guest room’s bed, right?"

So they did.

 

 

 

 

During the night, the apartment heated up.

Luhan was sharing a bed with Xiumin as they always did whenever the younger would sleep over. Such happenings weren’t rare but they weren’t frequent as well since Luhan often preferred sleeping in his own apartment that wasn’t far from the pack’s home but they still happened. It just so occurred that that night was one of those.

Lying there, half-awake but still plenty aware, Luhan thought they would combust.

He was shifting under the blankets, trying desperately to find a colder spot. He opened his eyes to notice the older was gone. _Guess I wasn’t the only one that was feeling that way._

It was ridiculous. He was sweating so much and just the fact of lying under the covers was uncomfortable. He pushed them away irritated in the hope of making things a little bit better.

It didn’t work.

He slammed his fists on the mattress straightening himself up wondering why the pack would heat the house at such a high temperature. Even for a human it would be way too hot inside, he understood it was winter but there was no need to exaggerate. If they had done this as a consideration for their guests, he was sure they would react the same way as him and tell them it was a failure.

Once sitting, he passed a hand through his hair. He frowned. There was something wrong, something off. He breathed deeply and the slowest he could.

_What is happening?_

He stood up and ran to the bathroom. It was occupied. Swearing under his breath he ran up to the Korean’s dorm, slamming open the doors in his eagerness. That one was free.

He let himself fall on his knees next to the toilet feeling his throat squeezing and his tongue stiffening. Instinctively he opened his mouth when the sensation was too close. His body contracted, his abdominal muscles bringing him forward while he desperately supported himself with his hands on the cold borders as a scorching liquid scratched the inside of his gullet to spill out of his mouth and into the bowl, drops of the liquid it already held splashing on his face.

He took all the air he could between the spams as, then, he couldn’t breathe, his attempts being cut by coughs.

As the last contractions shook his body he let himself lie on the porcelain bowl, strength having left his body. Breathing, he picked up the bitter scent of his puke. He pushed himself up with disgust and flushed everything away. He slammed the cover down to rest his upper body on it, too tired to move away.

He heard a weak knock on the door and without him replying anything the other entered carefully. He didn’t even look up, knowing exactly who the man was. He let him approach and gently pat his back.

"Hey…" He spoke in a calm voice while his hand moved to his hair. The sound Luhan made was barely audible. As the latter shivered, the other got at his level and took him in his arms, pressing his head on his chest.

"Cold," the man whined.

"I can’t do anything about that, my power’s ice remember."

Luhan whined once again, trembling even more.

"You’re burning hot though…"

The younger man puffed. His teeth clacked against each other while he scooted closer in the man’s embrace.

"Come."

They moved to the Koreans’ living room where Luhan sat down on the sofa , taking his legs in his arms. Moving any further was out of the question, the younger threatening to fall at any moment and feeling too nauseous when he was standing.

The smaller went to pick up a blanket that had been carefully folded by none other than himself the other day and that had been gently placed on top of the sofa. He wrapped the younger in its comfort before sitting next to him bringing the other in his embrace.

He listened as Luhan’s teeth continued chattering, his chin placed on the top of his head and his eyes closed as he sensed how terrified the other felt. Shapeshifters didn’t usually get sick, after all. Since human diseases didn’t hit them - the only cases one could be ill was by catching other shapeshifter or animal sickness -, it was only normal the man would be shocked by the bizarre action of vomiting.   _He probably caught the flu or something._

His shivering slowly came to an end and he felt the other relax in his arms. He himself calmed letting his hold on the taller soften.

He thought it had passed until he was pushed away. He watched as Luhan uncovered himself and threw the sheet away harshly, taking deep and eager breaths.

"Luhan…" He reached out for his friend but the latter moved away.

"Don’t touch me!"

As he caught a glimpse of the man’s face, he saw how flushed his cheeks were. His hair was sticking to his forehead and his sweating had started anew.

He advanced a more convinced hand to the other’s skin. When the cold member came in contact with his body, Luhan leaned in barely releasing a moan as his entire body got relieved from the heat.

He scooted closer; entering once again Xiumin’s embrace to let him balance his internal temperature.

A satisfied humming made way through his vocal cords and the older chuckled, happy to see he was of help to his friend.

"Is that better?" He asked and Luhan only hummed louder. He rested his head on the older’s shoulders tiredly. His eyelids fluttered closed only to open once again as he picked up a particular smell.

He looked with exhausted eyes at the shadow in the hallway and whimpered.

 

 

 

 

"Baozi…" Sehun heard as he saw the older man snuggle his nose into said man’s shoulder.

He had gotten up wanting to go urinate and ended up walking in on a scene he was pretty sure he was not meant to see. He couldn’t see properly what was happening, Xiumin’s back turned to him but he surely saw Luhan’s flushed and satisfied expression and could only interpret what affairs the two were probably taking care of. 

It was a very pretty _and sexy_ expression he had to admit and he didn’t mind the sight at all. He had thought the two men looked close. _Very close indeed._

As Xiumin turned around and locked eyes with him he suddenly felt ashamed. _Of course, you’re not supposed to just stand there and watch, stupid Sehun. That’s impolite._ However, hearing Luhan’s soft whimpering voice as his elder had stopped _probably_ pleasuring him he whished to stay. He maintained his statue position shifting his gaze to the frowning Luhan that had gotten out of his hiding place behind the smaller’s shoulder. His head was now resting on the top of the sofa’s back, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted to let the air pass.

Xiumin turned to the man when he heard him let out a cry, a plea for care. It seemed he got what he wanted as Luhan’s soft expressions came back.

Sehun had the urge to walk up there and kiss the other’s face and every single one of his features but he restrained himself.

The elder looked at him again mouthing a "go" and Sehun followed his instructions after bowing and weakly apologizing.

He entered his room and walked straight to his bed. As he sat down on the mattress and thought about what he had just witnessed he mentally face palmed and swore in a frustrated whisper.

"What’s up?" He heard a tired Kai pronounce in his back. He turned to glance at him and lifted the covers to make his way under them. He turned on his side to face his friend.

"I wanted to pee but forgot I had to pee and just came back here. I still have to pee."

"Just go then," Kai mocked him.

"Nah, you don’t understand. I walked in on two people having private time just now."

"They were going at it in the middle of the dorm? I swear to god, that hyung…"

"It wasn’t Chanyeol. I walked in on Luhan hyung and Xiumin hyung."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"You mean like they…"

"I don’t know it looked like Xiumin-hyung was giving him a handjob or something…I couldn’t see properly."

"Aren’t they friends though?"

"It might have been platonic."

"Yeah, you’re right."

They stayed silent, their eyes slowly closing.

"Was it a nice sight?" Kai asked knowingly after a time. He knew Sehun wasn’t too affected by what he had seen.

The younger nodded and let a smile creep on his face. "His hair was sticking to his face and he was blushing hard. I also heard him whine. Kai, his whines are adorable."

"Haha! That’s nice…"

"He noticed me though."

"What?"

"Yeah, he saw I was looking at him and Xiumin sent me off. So, if it’s awkward tomorrow, it’s because of that."

"Kay. I’ll keep that in mind."

"Mmh."

 

 

 

 

A few moments after Sehun left, Luhan’s temperature rose to a level where it was difficult for Xiumin to control it. Frustrated, he stood up from the couch and, passing a hand through his wet locks, he stated: «Fuck it. I’m going home.»

His elder tried to stop him stating that he could go wake up Lay and ask him to check him up. He explained that, that way, they could find out what the man had, why he had been sick and treat him accordingly but the man opposed fervently.

He was determined to go back at his home and treat himself on his own. He didn’t want anyone else to see him in that state, not liking appearing weak to others. Although he was quite out of it, he still cared about these kinds of things. He had noticed when Sehun had appeared in front of his sight and had been truly ashamed of the position in which he had been, not liking the acquaintance to see him that way on the first day they had met.

He walked to the door of the Korean dorm and slammed it in his back unintentionally.


	19. The Color of You Drains the Mist from my Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning/recommendation: You might not want to eat while reading this.

He walked down the stairs, through the hangar and through the main door. He was met with the cold-air of winter and smiled. He was only wearing a white t-shirt and sweat pants but he didn’t care. He didn’t even realize. He wasn’t in his right state of mind.

He walked down the street only to be stopped by running footsteps yelling his name. The smaller man halted when next to him and forced a coat into his arms but the other pushed it back to him feeling too hot to put any other piece of clothing on his body.

"I’m coming with you, stupid kid," Xiumin stated and Luhan didn’t argue.

They walked to his apartment complex, the younger getting weaker with every step until he finally felt the strength in his legs lose him as they reached the front door of the building. He fell in the bit of snow there was, the older not being quick enough to prevent him from doing so. The taller rolled around in the snow, bringing it to his face in a desperate attempt to cool down. He let out a satisfied breath.

His friend picked him up, distancing him from his source of comfort and declared that the man would get even sicker playing around in the snow. The taller moved around whining and pushing against the warm skin but Xiumin maintained his firm grip. He stopped wiggling around as soon as his senior started using his powers. He let the man carry him to his apartment sulking inside at how pathetic he must have looked.

Arrived in front of his home’s door he got back down on his feet getting his keys out of the coat the other was carrying for him. As soon as he left Xiumin’s touch, his legs started trembling again under the dizziness inspired by the high temperature of his body. He walked in and swayed a bit before the older man took him in his arms once again to bring him to his bed.

As his back posed itself on the familiar mattress, the taller tensed. The shivers ran through his body once again, the older’s touch leaving him. He gripped the sheets and desperately tried to pull them from under his posterior and on his body but to no avail. Seeking warmth the soonest possible he turned on his side, back facing Xiumin, and took his knees in his arms, his teeth clacking together as his brain sent spasms to his body to make it warmer.

He heard the older call his name but ignored him. He felt the other’s hands grip his side to turn him around while still repeating his name and let a confused expression spread on his face.

It turned into a panicked but flushed one when he felt the man pull on his sweat pants, trying to take them off. He grabbed them pulling them back up until his friend explained: "Your clothes are drenched because you fell in the snow earlier, you’ll aggravate your case if you keep them on." Swearing mentally he let the man do, helping him by taking his t-shirt off and throwing it away.

Xiumin drew the bed sheets from under the taller and proceeded to cover him with them. He then walked around the bed, the other following him with his eyes, to climb on it, joining his best friend under the warm blankets knowing very well that it was only because the other was sick that he could get in his bed, otherwise he would have been pushed off and forced to sleep on the sofa. He initiated the snuggling and pressed their bodies as close as possible. Even though he could feel Luhan was comfortable in this position he still sensed him frustrated. As if he was trying to clarify the older’s suppositions he stated:

"I hate this."

 

 

 

 

In the middle of the night, Xiumin woke up feeling Luhan getting out of bed. He heard the other run out of the room and after a moment he heard the sound of coughing and liquid being spilled in the water of a porcelain bowl.

He sighed. Sitting on the soft mattress, he rubbed his eyes before pushing the covers away to move his feet down on the cold floor. He walked to the bathroom and leaned on the door frame waiting for his friend to finish.

He watched as the man stood up and walked to the sink. He splashed water on his face and then reached for a towel. The man opened his medicine cabinet, taking a bottle into his trembling hand and using the liquid inside to wash his mouth.

They both moved neither their members nor their mouths, the younger resting his hands on the sink’s borders taking in deep breaths. He looked at the metallic cap that centered the pure white of his sink and watched his fatigued expression. He would have to put makeup on the dark circles that put an emphasis on his eyes if his complexion didn’t get better. _No way Hotaru-san is gonna leave me work like that._

As he removed his hands from the sink he felt a foreign feeling make way through his body. A link had been made between his deer’s body and his and he didn’t understand what it was trying to tell him.

He heard the rustling of clothes behind him and turned to the sound. His friend had straightened up and was staring at him his eyes big but his face expression neutral besides that. The man visibly gulped.

As he picked up his sent, he took a step back. Xiumin noticing the movement opened his mouth wanting to justify himself but Luhan gave him no chance:

"Leave."

"Lu…"

The door closed on him, neither of them even touching it.

The younger waited for his friend to walk away before releasing his breath. He turned around in his bathroom, his steps leading him to nowhere in particular while his fingers gripped his hair.

He understood what his deer was trying to let him know the moment his friend had reacted and yet he couldn’t bring himself to say it, to put a name on what was happening to him because it was truly frustrating.

Most of all, he was scared because it was something he had never experienced before and, although he had heard rumors, he didn’t actually know how he himself would react. He didn’t know how the following days would feel like, look like, how his body would deal with it, how his mental would deal with it.

However, that was also something he would never want to acknowledge.

Releasing tension through a sigh, he opened the bathroom door to walk to his kitchen. For the moment, he would drink water.

Around the corner of the hallway that led to his living room he heard the weak sounds of the television playing and knew his friend hadn’t left like he had asked. Not even giving him a glance as he walked through his kitchen’s cabinets to get a glass, he spoke:

"You’re really an ass for not leaving."

"I’m a good friend for not leaving."

"I disagree. Wouldn’t a good friend do what their friend wants for their own comfort so, in this case, leave?"

"A good friend would do what they know best for their friend even if that means disagreeing with them and, in this case, stay."

As he got no answer from Luhan, the older continued.

"I won’t let you go through this alone."

"I’ll deal well enough by myself. I’m not weak, remember?"

"It’s not a question of being weak or not and you know it."

The younger looked at him briefly before sipping on his water. With a smile, Xiumin made his cheeks stand out, his eyebrow raised in a cheeky look.

"You know I’m not going to leave."

"I know… Want ice cream?"

"Yes, please."

Luhan settled down on the sofa giving his elder the second bowl of ice cream. The man leaned close to him and rested his head on the other’s shoulder. They watched whatever program Xiumin had stumbled on while they ate the cold dessert.

When they were finished, the younger put the dishes away telling himself he would wash them the next day and walked back to the couch to meet a half asleep friend of his on it. Said man opened his eyes slightly to look at the other and closed them again too tired.

Luhan sat down taking the older in his arms as he laid his back on the cushions and fell asleep with his arms around the small yet muscular body.

 

 

 

 

When he woke up the next morning to the sound of the click of his front door being closed, he realised the older’s weight was gone from his torso. He stood up and, even though he was still feeling kind of nauseous, he was happy to acknowledge that he was feeling better than the day before. He knew his temperature had gone back to normal and thanked God for that.

He walked to his counter as he could see a post-it there. It read:

_I’ll come to the club today, rest well in the time being._

Looking at the clock on his oven, he realized he still had a lot of time before his shift. He closed the television that had stayed open while they slept and went into his room. He put his alarm and went back in bed, his body still exhausted from the night’s sickness.

 

 

 

 

As Xiumin stepped in the hangar he was welcomed with questioning looks from the members that were there. Without giving them any explanation he walked up the stairs straight to the Korean dorm where he knew the people he was looking for were cooking as he hadn’t seen their faces when he arrived.

"Oh! ‘Morning, hyung," the Korean leader welcomed him.

"‘Morning, hey, I had a question."

"Shoot." The younger replied stopping what he was doing to listen to him.

Kris next to him also lifted his head from the grilled bread he was buttering. _I won’t have to repeat myself I see._

"So, I wanted to take the day off to spend time with Luhan, would that be a problem?"

"Yes," Suho answered and turned his face seeing their guests arrive in the living room, "oh! Hi, you two! Slept well?"

"Yes, thanks."

"You guys can go downstairs with the others while we finish the breakfast," Suho continued, "it shouldn’t be long. Or you can just…Just do  whatever you want actually."

"Sure." Kai answered smiling at Suho’s confused speech.

Xiumin was turned to them and for a moment his gaze crossed Sehun’s. The man was staring at him for some reason. He didn’t look mad or anything, he was just staring. Xiumin thought nothing of it.

"But yeah, hyung, to go back to your case: We can’t afford missing someone at the café, there are already a few of the members not working so…"

"Would just taking a longer break be fine?"

"Yeah, I guess it would be fine, two hours max though."

"Sure, thanks."

"Why do you want to spend time with him _today_ though?" Kris wondered, a slight smirk on his face. "Are you two, by any chance, finally dating?"

"Where did you get that from?"

Kris raised his shoulders and the guests frowned.

"Your 'dìdi's have been betting since the first week you two met that you would end up together," Suho explained.

"Sorry to break your dreams," the older answered, "but not every single person on this planet walks under a colorful rainbow."

"Actually, our animal instincts make us all inclined to be attracted to the same sex at some point in our life," Kris replied.

"My wolf maybe but not me."

"I was talking about humans," he pursued.

"What are you even basing yourself on to say that?" Suho asked.

"Freud’s works." 

"I don't remember Freud saying anything like that, what are they teaching you kids in Canada?"  

"Anyway," Xiumin interfered, "Luhan’s sick. We went to his place last night. I just came back."

"Oh, really?" Suho worried.

D.O turned to the Chinese man for a second. _Is that why it smelled like vomit this morning?_ Baekhyun who had just arrived voiced his thoughts and Xiumin answered him:

"Ah, yeah, sorry about that…I should have washed it, I’ll go do it now."

"It’s fine, I already did," D.O informed him.

"Thank you."

"He vomited? Aw, poor him," Suho pitied him.

"Yeah, he was pretty shocked. I was using the bathroom downstairs and I heard him run for his life in here. He looked dead when I came to see, he had fever and all."

"That sounds like a gastro," Suho stated.

"He probably got Chanyeol’s flu," Kai joined.

"His flu?" The Korean leader wondered.

With Baekhyun’s sudden fear, the man who was supposedly sick a few days before turned to his partner instead of his friend like his mind had intended to do a few milliseconds beforehand. As he saw the new roundness of his boyfriend’s eyes he got the message.

"Hyung," he spoke, "don’t you remember? Six days ago?"

"Oh!" Suho understood as he recalled what actually happened six days before.

"Wow," Chanyeol furthered his teasing, "is that really how important I am for your memory?"

"Come on, I remembered, it just took me a bit of time."

"No. I got the message, hyung. You don’t need to find excuses."

He faked being hurt and walked to the door.

"I’ll go see my other hyungs."

He walked out followed by his friends while Suho continued his acting. Once they were gone Baekhyun explained:

"I told them Chanyeol had the flu."

"I would have liked to know that beforehand," the Korean leader complained, "now they’re gonna think I’m a self-centered man that lies when confronted with his faults…"

"Which…"His ex continued. "You are not?"

"No!"

He finished what he had stopped doing a few moments ago and picked up a few plates of food to bring down.

"How could I if I don’t have faults in the first place?"

 

 

 

 

As Luhan opened the back door to the club, he was welcomed by the voices of his colleagues hanging their coats on the hooks provided for that purpose. Once their eyes met his face they stopped all movement except for the raise of their eyebrows. They stared at him.

He sighed closing the door in his back and went to put up his coat and scarf.

"I know," he declared grumpily.

"You look like shit," Key still affirmed.

"I said 'I know'," the other repeated.

"You look like you’ve had one hell of a night," Jonghyun said empathically.

The Chinese man dropped on the couch. The day hadn’t even started and he already felt drained plus his head was aching due to the return of the fever.

"I was sick," he decided to complain.

"Aw, that’s harsh."

"Mmh…I hadn’t vomited since I was little. But I feel better now. I have a bit of a fever and head ache but I won’t puke around the club’s floors."

"I hope for you," Key said his voice soft, "no offence but I won’t get too close to you, I don’t feel like getting sick."

"Don’t worry you won’t," Luhan declared.

If shapeshifters couldn’t catch human diseases, than the opposite could also not happen.

Their boss opened the door to their resting room and the Chinese man automatically straightened himself. She greeted them familiarly with a smile on her lips. Boy was she pretty. Even though he wouldn’t call her his type, Luhan could never put away the impression he got of her every time he looked at his boss. She was truly beautiful with her thin long legs mounted on the simple black high heels. She knew how to dress herself. She had a good body but wouldn’t wear anything too molding or skin showing, often wearing tailors of dark colors that contrasted with her pale and fair skin. They were always well ironed and clean, mirrors to her personality. However, there was always one detail that was contrasting with her seemingly disciplined and professional person which was her ever loose wavy creamy blond hair falling in cascades on her shoulders, the roots dark and revealed. Her makeup was simple; her face «already too extravagant to highlight».

"Eh? What’s up with you, Lu?" She asked him.

"Ah…I was sick yesterday, don’t mind me."

"Are you alright to work? Would you prefer taking the day off? I wouldn’t appreciate you giving your sickness to the clients, you know."

"Ah no it’s fine, it’s not contagious."

"Oh. Alright."

Hotaru-san knew. She had known all along that he was a shapeshifter and what it implied. It had been one of the motives of his hiring.

"Okay so, guys, I’ve put my hands on some gorgeous pieces that I want you to wear today. I was getting tired of seeing you in Christmassy clothing so I chose something different for today. Hope you like them."

"I trust your taste," Key declared.

"Thank you, I asked the girls to bring them, they shouldn’t take long."

"Ah, so we won’t be putting makeup ourselves today?" Luhan understood.

"No," Hotaru-san replied, "I do trust your skills but I really want this to be perfect today. Also, you look like shit, I can’t let you be seen like that."

"Yes," he sighed, "Key already made me aware of that fact."

Her smile grew larger.

"Aaah, I’m so excited. I just want to see you in them alreadyyyyyy. Especially, you two," she pointed at Key and Luhan, "no offence Bling Bling."

"What _are_ you going to make us wear?"

Right as the lady opened her mouth, the workers entered the room with their beauty kits, one was holding three clothing bags that they hanged. Their boss walked to the hooks and carefully, hiding the men from the view, she opened them.

"Okay, Bling Bling, this is yours. Just put the simple part on, Kumiyo will help you finalize it, she knows her business…Lu, this is yours, I think," she looked in the other bag, "yes that’s yours. That color wouldn’t fit with Makoto’s hair anyway. Here."

She handed them their respective bags and let them go change, installing herself on the couch waiting expectantly. She heard the surprise when the boys unzipped the bags to discover the expensive clothing and it made her mouth’s corners lift.

"Mmh? Is something wrong?" She asked cheekily.

"Hotaru-san," Jonghyun spoke, "I love you."

"Shut it, Jonghyun," his boyfriend replied knowing what was going on through his head at that time.

Bling Bling was the first one to come out, struggling a bit with the fabric. _Ah, yes. I was right, red fits him well._

"That’s not a kimono, is it?" He asked as Kumiyo came to help him.

"No, it looks like it though, doesn’t it? It’s called a hanfu, it’s Chinese originally. Although these are designer so they aren’t very traditional."

"Oh."

"Ah! Kumiyo, role his sleeves, please."

_That’s it. Perfect. With his makeup and hair done it’ll be even better._

Key and Luhan came out at the same time and Hotaru smirked.

"Makoto, dear, go next to Bling Bling. Ah yes. It’s perfect your hair fits with his hanfu." Her voice went higher as she spoke the last sentence. "I’m pleased with my choices."

For the couple, she had specially arranged everything so they would match together. Even though they probably wouldn’t work together all day, just the thought of them being a pair when they were together was satisfying.Bling Bling’s clothes were bright red with golden designs while his boyfriend’s was white with designs of the same color. They looked royal.

And Lu was just as eye-pleasing. She had opted for a pale green tissue for him, the edges were white to evoke his host’s pure character that the clients seemed to appreciate so much. It was quite disgusting to think that some would prefer him for that so she decided not to and just kept in mind that he was bringing a lot of clients in. Makoto was in a similar position, the clients often said that his soft features and fair skin made him look innocent but his character didn’t fit that role most of the time.

She had to hold herself back from even buying a black hanfu for the man. When she saw said clothing she had thought of the two feminine men. Wearing them they would have evoked to her eyes the yakuza wives and their traditional wear. _Aaah, they would have been stunning I’m sure. Lu and Makoto, yakuza wives._

"You look great," she simply said gaining her serious back, "now go see the girls. Lu, come here."

He frowned but followed her instructions none the less. She unrolled the sleeves he had rolled while speaking:

"If you feel unwell at some point today, tell Hiro and you can go home or take a break. He’ll pass the message to me."

"Ah, thank you but I assure you I’m fine."

"Mmh. Do you know what it is that made you sick?"

Seeing his uneasiness she decided that it was better to drop the topic.

"It’s fine, I won’t bother you any longer. Go."

He bowed and reunited with his colleagues.

Hotaru-san left trusting her employees’s skills and came back again after half an hour had past to see how they looked when everything was done. The women waited expectantly for their employer’s deliberation. She analyzed the three men from head to toe being sure the styles fitted then walked closer to see if their makeup still looked good from only a few centimeters apart.

"Good job. Let’s start the night."

 

 

 

 

As Hiroya-san came in view once again, he knew the time with this client was up. "I apologize," he said to the Japanese girl, "the time you payed for has expired. Do you wish to pay for another hour?" As he heard the guard call his name, he knew someone else had already asked for him. He explained the matter politely to the woman and with a sad expression she nodded in understanding.

The host stood first and held his client’s hand while she imitated him. "See you next time." He smiled and they bowed to each other, the woman leaving shortly after.

He turned to Hiroya-san and nodded for him to lead the way. A part of him wished for the next client to be Xiumin since his friend had wrote him he would come that day but as they were heading in the direction of one of the special rooms he pushed the idea away. These rooms were expensive; no way would the man choose to pay more just to chat with his friend.

They stopped in front of the door. Luhan let the bodyguard open the door and enter first and, when the man let way for him to enter, he did so. He raised his eyes to acknowledge the client’s presence and at the same time to present his features to the person.

The host’s body was always really honest. If a situation was making him uncomfortable, the guard would know and if necessary, he would act in consequence. So he stayed in place when, to the sight of the client, Lu frowned, widening his eyes and stepping slightly back. He saw, from the corner of his eye, the man realizing his reaction and straightening himself before bowing and presenting himself.

"Yoroshiku," he finished and the bodyguard understood he could go outside. He would then proceed to wait by the door in case the client would get to touchy or even aggressive without the host’s consent.

When the door closed behind the host, the client spoke:

"Can I still call you Luhan-hyung or..?"

"Luhan-hyung is fine," he tried to speak confidently but his diverting gaze said otherwise.

"Alright."

He hated the fact that he had to meet the man again as his host’s character. He wasn’t acting like his usual self as Lu was more timid and awkward and the surprise of meeting a familiar face only added to his unwonted behavior.

He only noticed the silence that had installed itself after the young man broke it, bringing Luhan’s eyes back to him.

"Sorry, it’s the first time I come to a host club, I don’t quite know what I’m supposed to do..."

It hit the Chinese man. Of course, it was his job to entertain the man. He had been acting unprofessionally. He apologized.

"First, may I offer you a drink or something to eat?"

The other was shocked by the host’s polite speech but it didn’t reach his face.

"Hum…Xiumin-hyung’s the one paying for everything so…"

"Oh!"

_He won’t come after all._

"Yeah…He sent me since he couldn’t get away from the café. He apologizes to you and says he’ll spend the night at your place."

Luhan nodded.

"It’s fine if you want anything, I’ll pay him back. Think of it as a thank you for coming in his place."

"Hm. He thought it would be better for me to come since I already saw you sick."

The host looked away momentarily reminiscing the past night. He turned to his client once again and smiled:

"So, would you like to look at the menu?" He asked showing a long coffee table with both hands. It was placed on a beige parquet in front of a creme leather couch. 

"Oh, I guess."

Luhan signed him to sit down and he followed him on the couch, opening the menu disposed on the low table. He guided him through it, surprised that the younger didn’t seem to have any difficulty with the language.

"You read Japanese pretty well," he praised him.

"Mmh. I chose to start learning it when I couldn’t find the translation of the mangas I read. Eventually, I had to improve it since me and Kai decided to live here."

"Oh. Why did you come here?"

"We liked Japan and knew we could get into the dance program, so we moved in with Chanyeol."

"I see, that’s nice," he smiled, "are your studies going well?"

"They are."

Sehun didn’t further his reply and simply asked after a few seconds of silence if the host recommended him anything.

"Are you of age to…Most likely or you wouldn’t have been able to enter anyway."

"Oh no, I ain’t. I have fake cards but I don’t really like alcohol if that’s what you wanted to ask."

"Ah. What do you like then?"

"Sweets?"

"We have a few pastries, or would you rather drink something?"

"Drink."

"A sweet drink? You’re probably familiar with bubble tea?"

"I’ve heard of it but never got around to taste it."

"Eh?"

Sehun inwardly smiled at that Japanese intonnation, _isn't he Chinese?_  

"You’re missing out on something."

"Should I take that then?"

"I think so. Personally, I love it."

"I’ll trust your words then. What flavor do you recommend?"

"My favorite is Taro flavoured but I don’t know if it will be to your taste."  

"I’ll see."

After confirming the younger’s command, Luhan walked to the door and outside asking a passing waiter to bring it to them.

Sehun watched as the host walked back in, closing the door behind him. The man was smiling brightly at him, his beauty shocking. He saw the man’s eyebrow gently wrinkle and his smile faintly fading away before he put a hand on the wall, taking in a deep breath. The younger was prepared to jump up if Luhan was to faint but he didn’t have to. The man was quick to go back to smiling, sitting down next to him.

"What would you want to do?"

"I’m here to give you a break; you decide what you want to do."

"I appreciate your intention but you are still a client so it is my job to entertain you."

 _As hyung expected._ He sighed.

"What is there to do?"

"The room is soundproof so we can do karaoke without bothering anyone; we also have a few movies we could watch…We can also just chat."

"What movies do you have?" Sehun asked choosing the activity as the most relaxing of them.

"I’ll check, I don’t remember all of them."

He reached for the remote and pointed it to the tv that was inlaid in the wall, scrolling through the movies once it was opened. "Tell me if you see anything you’d like." the host told his client who only hummed in response.

"What?" The younger spoke after a time.

"Mmh?"

"Transformer?"

"Ah yes," The man scoffed remembering his own surprise the first time he had seen it.

He continued his scrolling but Sehun stopped him.

"What is it?" Luhan asked.

"Transformer, I wanna watch it."

"Ah, oh. Sure."

He clicked on the name and the movie started. Luhan leaned back on the couch but had to straighten up when he heard a knock on the door. He pushed himself up but Sehun pushed him back down. "I’ll go," he explained and walked to the door bringing back a clear container filled with a purple liquid and dark beads at the bottom once it closed.

The boy sat down and Luhan watched expectantly as he took the green straw in his mouth and started sucking on it. After swallowing a first gulp, he frowned analysing the taste and if he liked it or not.

"I’m not sure I like it."

"Oh, I’m sorry then."

"I do like the little bubbles at the bottom and the texture but…Meh, I’m not a fan of this flavor I think."

He passed it to Luhan who stared at him with a confused expression as he held the cold glass.

"You can drink it."

"Oh! Thank you very much…Did you plan to give it to me in the first place?"

The man looked thoughtful there. 

"That would have been a smart move,» he said, his eyes going back to him. 

Luhan smiled and diverted his gaze to bring it to the drink.

 _Indirect kiss._ Sehun giggled internally a small smile creeping on his face as he watched the older put his lips on the same straw he had previously drank from. The man had probably seen through his thoughts as a bright pink spread through his cheeks.

Getting the message that the younger watching him drink was making him uncomfortable he turned his eyes to the already started movie. He moved away and leaned his back on the arm rest. The television was in front of him, a bit to the left of the other side of the couch, making its emplacement badly chosen. Luhan had to turn his head and body to be able to watch it. _That’s going to be uncomfortable eventually._

He stared at him, his delicate yet strong looking hands pocking out of the long pale sleeves around the taro drink in a soft hold. His breathing was deep and his thumbs were nervously rubbing the glass. He was constantly adjusting his green wrapped body on the couch, proof that Sehun’s theory had been right.

The Korean man sat up and reached for the man’s bubble tea, taking it out of his hold to pose it on the coffee table. The older stared wide-eyed and eyebrows wrinkled in the middle trying to figure out what his client’s next action would be. He didn’t seem ill-disposed from what he sensed but sometimes it could be misleading. A perfectly well-intended person could sometimes act wrongly upon another.

Sehun turned to him, his expression neutral, and slowly he reached for the other man’s tensed body, vigilant to every reaction coming from the other. He turned his shoulders around, Luhan’s back facing him. Delicately he leaned back down to lay on the couch and brought the older’s body with him. Under his hands, the man’s torso was raising and falling at a fast rhythm still unsure of what the younger’s intensions were.

"Isn’t that more comfortable?" Sehun asked, his breath tingling through the host’s hair as he spoke.

He calmed down. So the boy was only conscious of his well-being. He hadn’t been ill-disposed after all.

"I appreciate the intention, Sehun, but…I don’t want to be rude it’s just that I only met you yesterday so I’m not really comfortable with…This."

However, he didn’t move. It wasn’t like Sehun was preventing him from doing so, his arms were only resting on him without any pressure, he could move. He just didn’t.

"I get that you are here to replace Baozi, but you’re not him. Even if I were to imagine you as him, it would be difficult since I’m usually the one under."

He felt Sehun giggle faintly under him _I thought so._ Luhan understood there was a double meaning to his sentence and chose to explain:

"I meant I’m usually the one to hold him like this," he calmly spoke a smile on his lips, "he likes cuddles more than I do."

"Then, do you want to change position?" The younger proposed even though he would have wished to keep the feeling of Luhan’s hair on his chin forever.

"I would appreciate that more."

"Sure then."

He already missed the warmth of the older when said man left his chest. He stood up and waited for Luhan to have adjusted himself before he laid himself on the other’s body, feeling the host’s cheek on his hair as he posed his head on the latter’s shoulder.

"Is this fine?"

"Mmh. It’s fine."

They proceeded to turn back to the movie and Luhan eventually dozed off to the warmth of the other body on his. Sehun was quick to realise it, feeling the Chinese’s man head grow heavier on his own. He was happy to know the man was finally resting and contented to the feeling of his tightening embrace on his waist.

With a satisfied expression he finally put his complete attention back to a distressed Shia Labeouf.


	20. Pulling You to Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for implied mention of suicide and of non-con.

Luhan felt the weight on his body slowly leave him so he tightened his grip, thinking it was falling. It stopped all movement for a second but continued wiggling afterwards. He let him go after he spoke his name but his eyes stayed close.

It was quite a heart-warming sight, to see the older calmly asleep, but Sehun would have to deprive his eyes of it. He called the man’s name again, standing up a good distance from him hoping he would not scare him when he would wake up. After a few times, the host opened his eyes faintly distinguishing the shape of the younger’s body, standing. He sat up, apologizing for falling asleep:

"I’m an excuse of an entertainer", he spoke, a hand on his forehead. 

"Nah, it’s fine. I have to go now."

"I’ll see you out," he announced pushing himself up.

"No no, it’s fine. I can cross a doorframe by myself."

The host sat back down, lowering his gaze momentarily. He followed his client with his eyes until he reached the door, scolding himself over and over again for not taking care of him like he was supposed to do.

Before turning the knob Sehun turned around, surprising Luhan who straightened up.

"Wait. In fact, can you stand up?"

"Eh…Sure, why?"

He watched as the other pulled his phone out and frowned. He stared at him while the boy held the device in front of himself. He heard a click and widened his eyes understanding what the other had done.

"Thanks, Xiumin asked me for one." Luhan ran to him but the client was quick to open the door and leave the room. Sehun bid the other farewell before escaping from the furious host.

The latter stayed in place, watching the man leave with a picture of him on his phone. He called his name, desperately trying to get him to come back and delete the picture as he couldn’t really run in the expensive clothes he had been forced to wear. He sighed.

"Do you want me to run after him?" Hiroya-san asked but the deer tossed the offer away hoping the boy would only show the picture to his friend like he had justified himself.

 

 

 

 

Glancing at his back and seeing that no one was following him, Sehun contently smiled as he directed his eyes to the slowly diming light of the outside. He looked around for a familiar face and met a waving hand. He walked towards its owner.

"So?" Kai greeted him, Krystal questioning him with her eyes next to his friend. "What was your first experience in a host club like?"

"Pretty nice," he replied while they started walking in the direction of the pack’s home, "the place looked really expensive and like, you know how I said Xiumin wanted to ask for a private room or something?" He waited for the two others to nod."I was escorted by a waiter of sorts in this pretty large room with fancy decorations and where everything looked expensive there was a tv _in the wall_ I shit you not. I had to wait there until Lu, they call him _Lu,_ arrived and this man just presented me everything on the menu, like they had this French wine it was like Paetroosse or something..."

"Pétrus," Krystal corrected him.

"That. It was like $2000 I’m not kidding. Who would even buy a drink that expensive? Anyway, I didn’t want anything so he left and it was awkward. I waited for like fifteen minutes I think because Luhan was with another client. I was so scared to touch anything, I was scared to break the couch when I sat on it but like wow it was so comfy I could live there forever."

The two others stayed attentive, smiling at the other’s lively speech. Sehun sighed nostalgically at the memory that had its origins from only a few moments before.

"Oh! I got to taste bubble tea!"

"You talking about the drink or is it a euphemism?"

"Yes, the drink."

"And?"

"Meh, but I want to try other flavors."

"We could go at some point," Kai proposed.

"They can make you some at the café if you want," Krystal informed them.

"Nice."

"Okay but," Kai stopped them, "Luhan-hyung."

"Hai?"

"How was he?"

"Ah. Just look, I took a picture."

He showed them, passing his phone to Kai first who then passed it to Krystal. She pouted in envy at the sight.

"How can he look so pretty?" Krystal let out, giving Sehun his phone back. "Like I’m okay with my face but he’s something else."

"I think you look pretty just the way you are," Kai pointed out.

"Thanks, you’re sweet."

"But I agree with Krys though, wow."

"Right? I thought the same. I thank the person who made him wear this."

"Yeah, you’re lucky," the woman informed him, "knowing Luhan, he wouldn’t have dressed that way just like that. Maybe on a very special occasion but even then, pretty sure he wouldn’t have put makeup."

"Thought so."

"So? What did you guys do?" Kai forced him to continue.

"He slept under me while I watched Transformers."

"Transformers?"

"Yeah, I was surprised too but it had been a while since I watched it so yeah."

"Poor Luhan-oppa, he really must be exhausted."

 

 

 

 

Arrived at the pack they were met with a problem. It was only a small problem but big enough for Krystal had to use all the strength in her arms to try and solve it, to no avail. She thought about transforming into her animal form and go fetch help inside but prevented herself from doing so. Sehun and Kai weren't aware of their shapeshifting abilities, they would've probably been traumatized. _Better not._

Eventually the two Chinese members that had stayed home came to their help, forcing the hangar’s door open with the female shapeshifter on the other side, doing so as well.

"We'll have to fix that," Chen said aloud and Krystal agreed, breaking a sweat. At this point, the two humans weren’t even surprised anymore when they met someone unexpectedly strong.

"You’re back early," Lay observed.

"Hyung couldn’t go see Luhan-hyung so he asked me to go instead."

"We accompanied him," Krystal added.

"Ah," Chen and Lay frowned, it didn’t really make sense to them but they trusted Xiumin’s logic.

They dismissed the subject.

"By the way," Lay started, "we were thinking of ordering Chinese for supper, are you fine with that?"

"Sure."

"Okay," he smiled, "I’ll call. If there’s something you want in particular do tell us, Baekhyun and Chanyeol are playing video games if you’re looking for them."

"They could be making out for all we know," added Chen and Chanyeol’s friends shrugged.

"You girls are invited too," Lay addressed to Krystal.

"Will there be enough space for all of us?" She laughed.

"We’ll find some."

 

 

 

 

Finishing his work, Luhan received a phone call from his same age friend telling him that they had Chinese food that remained from their previous order enticing him to come by. A part of him encouraged him to push the offer away, convinced that being surrounded by other shapeshifters would only aggravate his case. That reasoned part of him was completely ignored when his friend spoke: "I’ll take care of you" on the other line. It was curious how he was suddenly drawn to the sweetness of being looked after, an idea that he always loathed. _What’s this?_ He agreed to the proposition without thinking twice. _Lu, I hate you right now._

In spite of the heinous feelings he held against himself, Luhan walked directly to the pack, ashamed of himself when his friend opened the door but forcing himself not to show it on his face. He knew what made him come and he was sure his friend had concluded similarly but he didn’t need it to be any more obvious.

The pack had finished eating a while back and was scattered everywhere in the house, some in the Korean dorm watching whatever program or movie they could find on the television Chanyeol’s friends had brought and the others stayed in the hangar discussing. The deer shapeshifter had decided he had done enough socializing for the day so Xiumin and him installed themselves in the Chinese dorm with the food that remained.

"Hey," the older poked him with his toe, lying on his back, "you look nice in a hanfa," he smirked.

"He showed you," Luhan spoke bothered by that fact although he had mentally prepared himself.

"He showed everyone."

The other sighed but continued eating nonetheless thinking it was a better idea to simply not care.

"I would’ve wanted to see you live, really, but I had to stay at the café."

"It’s fine."

"Did it go well with Sehun?"

"Yes. He was sweet, let me sleep and drink his bubble tea."

"I thought you would have liked it better if it was him."

"Mmh."

"Plus he doesn’t really show his feelings that much."

Luhan frowned. _He doesn’t?_ He thought that, although the boy’s face wasn’t expressive his feelings were easily perceived. It was one of the reasons why the host had first questioned his friend’s choice in sending him over any member of the pack.

_It might be because of the hormones._

"Yeah, he’s fine."

The hormones, to think about them made his stomach ache.

"Your complexion is better than yesterday," Xiumin complimented aware of his friend’s upset state of mind.

"Yeah, it was still horrible this afternoon though, Key and Hotaru-san made sure to tell me. I guess it got better during the day."

"I guess. It went well?"

"Today? Yes. It was calm."

"That’s unusual."

"Well it wasn’t calm calm, but like…"

He sighed, putting his food away and his head back. He didn’t feel like explaining. His friend could perfectly understand by himself what he meant.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. The gesture clearly surprised his friend.

"Does your head hurt? Do you want water?" the latter asked earning only a groan as an answer. He pushed himself up at first wanting to take his friend’s temperature but understanding that the man’s frustration was coming from something else he changed his movement. He simply sat closer to his friend, gently patting the man’s thigh.

Luhan softened, now sorry for losing his temper with his best friend for such a pathetic reason. _It’s definitely the hormones._

"I don’t want this. I don’t want to be in heat. I don’t want my deer to be female. I don’t want to go through this." He let his head fall on Xiumin’s shoulder and took said man’s hand in his to prevent it from caressing his thigh any more.

Of course, his deer had to react. He had been right all along, being in the pack’s place hadn’t been a good idea, with Chanyeol and Tao newly changed and with the newly formed couples that had provoked the events, of course it had to be worse. He rubbed his face on his friend’s shoulder for comfort feeling a ball of emotion forming in his throat.

Xiumin’s wolf felt it, everything that was going through the deer. Luhan didn’t blame his friend though, it was something he knew couldn’t be controlled. He knew that even if the man had put all his might into not reacting, he wouldn’t have been able to do so. It was his wolf’s animal instincts after all; he understood that, he was living the same struggle.

He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t help the feelings that were forced upon him and the discomfort yet attraction he experienced as he smelled the new odors his best friend’s body was emanating.

He was sure it was making the other uncomfortable. After all, he didn’t consider himself homosexual or bisexual or anything like that - not like Luhan did either- so it was only natural to feel awkward in such a situation.

"Lu…" 

Said man tightened his grip on his hand. _That’s right, just assume you’re Lu, not Luhan. You’re not like this. You know it. I’m not like this._

"I’m sorry but I can’t help you with…" The other whined cutting him, snuggling his head further into the hollow of his neck. He put the man’s hand aside and climbed on the his lap. He passed his arms around his friend bringing himself closer to him, the gesture surprising said man. There was no mistaking the fact that this heat was making Luhan more affectionate.

"Okay, okay." It was Xiumin’s turn to pass his arms around his friend’s body. He rested his head in the crook of the host’s neck, giggling at the shapeshifter’s unusually cute behavior.

Until the man decided to stick his butt out that is. The deer would arch his back pushing his body against the smaller and emitting tiny laments of despair. "Wow. Luhan, that’s a no," Xiumin signaled referring to the gesture that was more of a lap dance than any hug he had ever experienced. He pushed the taller and was automatically met with a pout on the latter’s face. "No," he simply repeated pushing the fellow Chinese man back on the couch next to him and turning the television on.

However, the older’s scent told Luhan otherwise. A feet on the floor and a knee on the couch, he proceeded to top his friend once again. Staring at Xiumin in the eyes with his pleading ones, he forced the man's pants zip open pushing them and his boxers down. Surprised once again by the sudden movements, Xiumin put his hands on the taller’s torso signaling him to stop and supporting the statement with a vocal one: "Luhan, I said no."

Said man looked like he was on the verge of crying, whimpers escaping his throat. It pained Xiumin to reject him and to feel the effect his words had on the other. He pitied him for being this desperate and couldn’t hold the sight of his sparkling eyes. He held the man’s head in his hands and posed his lips on his forehead.

He knew his friend meant no harm in his gestures. He knew Luhan wouldn’t have done this as his usual self. He didn’t despite physical contact but still had his limits and would definitely not crave it to the point of crying if he didn’t receive any.

However, this was different. Luhan was experiencing his first heat, thing that was already hard enough to just go through and that to booth affected his pride as it meant he would be considered as a female shapeshifter for the rest of his life. At least, that’s how he thought. Xiumin knew he himself wouldn’t treat his best friend any different and any less of a man.

He could see in the deer’s eyes the hidden meaning of their pleading; they were apologizing. As to second his theory, Luhan looked away straightening up on his lap and holding tightly onto his thighs repressing what his body was telling him to do.

What could the man do other than that? He knew masturbating wouldn’t do anything, he had seen the other females’ heats enough to have understood that. What could he do other than trying? 

He resigned, slowly moving his hands from the host’s shoulders to his torso to end their traveling, thumbs on the others nipples, earning a startled gasp from their owner. He rubbed circles around them, the friction of his clothes against his exceptionally sensible skin forcing the shapeshifter to tighten his grip around his friend’s thighs, his own uncontrollably growing closer to each other, only separated by Xiumin’s body.

He watched as the rib cage he was touching heaved and dropped slowly, the gesture clearly being appreciated by the deer. He arched his back further shifting his hands position from the older’s thighs to his abdomen, pushing him and forcing him to a halt. "No?" The wolf asked and was taken aback when his friend leaned forward to kiss his neck. He didn’t stop him. In fact, he moved his hands to his back, caressing and calming the desperate deer.

Once again, he pushed himself away, begging with his eyes for something. "Mmh? What is it?" Luhan gripped his shirt, sticking his butt out once again and whining. "What is it I can do?" He wondered calmly placing his hands in the younger’s locks, the latter leaning in the touch. _Poor you._

The host retreated further back, falling on his knees, resting his chin on the other’s legs and Xiumin really wondered what he was doing. _Do you want me to hug you or nah? Get a clue, xiǎo lù._

However, he was quick to understand the moment his legs separated from each other without him even moving a muscle followed by the man progressing to their interior. He raised his eyebrows resisting to the taller’s movement two hands on his head. To no avail, the younger using his powers once again to restrict them on the smaller’s sides. The older sighed and sat back: "Kay. Fine."

His already uncovered length was slowly being embraced by the warmth of the host’s lips. They engulfed the head sucking on it too and released it with a lewd "pop".

It was Xiumin’s turn to breathe deeply.

He put his hands back on the taller’s head but this time to grip his hair, the hold his lips had on his member returning. They slid lower on the shaft to come back up and repeat the previous gesture.

Luhan looked up kissing the tip to watch how his friend was reacting to the treatment just to see the man glancing back at him. There was a particular look in their eyes. A look that sealed a silent agreement between the two, which assured that the action and the consent didn’t mean anything, didn’t change anything to their person nor to their relationship.

Realising that, Xiumin raised an eyebrow smirking and his friend mirrored his expression sticking his tongue out and giving the sat man’s slit a lick. "Go on, baby," he breathed out and it was the other’s signal to engulf the shaft in the warmness of his mouth once again, humming as he did so. The smaller’s head went back slowly, taking in a deep breath and sinking his fingers deeper in Luhan’s hair. How could someone with no interest whatsoever in the male sex be so awfully good with the organ that defined it most obviously?

He looked down once again and watched the man bob his head his eyes hazy and cheeks cherry. The host’s scent was changing, becoming more and more…erotic. What was it in sucking his dick that turned him on that way, that forced moans and rapid breaths out his throat?

"I don’t get you but oh my god." The deer’s speed fastened, surprising Xiumin who couldn’t help but gasp. As he feared hurting his friend he switched his hands positions from his hair to the sofa, grabbing it’s cushions. Maybe was he scared to fly? It seemed it could be possible with Luhan’s work threatening to send him to Heaven. Or was he already there? Perhaps. "Lu…Oh fuck, Lu…Baby…" He couldn’t help his hips from moving. There was a moment of guilt in his heart, guilt that was quickly erased by the humming of his friend.

With a final suck, he was gone, his muscles all constricting at once and his eyes rolling up. From his mouth escaped no sounds, they waited until he was slowly coming down from his orgasmic state along with his breath he had lost in course.

He glanced down to his friend’s head resting on his thigh, his eyes staring back at him complimented by pleading eyebrows. He licked his lips and pushed them into a thin line, maintaining them that way with his teeth on his lower one. The deer gulped.

"Shit, Luhan," He breathed out and followed the shapeshifter as he pushed himself up, once again on his lap. _Don’t tell me you swallowed that._

"Please," The deer begged before diving onto the wolf’s neck hungrily. Xiumin gave him what he was asking for, a hand around the other’s cock. Only the slow moving of his thumb up and down was enough for the taller to break into a moaning mess incapable of controlling his body from moving around. His arms were soon around his friend’s neck, grip tight to help himself move into the hold.

Soon he was coming as well. He did not see the end of his orgasmic state as he collapsed onto his friend’s body still shaken by spasms ever so often.

 

 

 

 

"Chen?" He surprised the other as he walked down the stairs from the Korean dorm.

"Oh hey, Sehun!" The Chinese man turned around.

"What you doing?"

"Watching out for a friend," he pointed the door to the first floor.

Sehun frowned and closed the distance between the door and him. The sounds on the other side were familiar.

"Who do you think?" Chen asked a smirk on his face. There was the sound of the television covering the whining, making it hard to distinguishing them. He looked back at the older.

"Xiumin and Luhan," the Chinese man answer in his stead. That explained to Sehun why the sounds seemed familiar. "You saw it coming didn’t you?"

"Wasn’t it already happening?"

"No," Chen laughed, "despite everything that was pointing towards it. Seems like it will now…Maybe."

"Why do you say you’re watching out then, aren’t you just a voyeur?"

"That would just be weird. No, when I arrived Xiumin didn’t seem to be agreeing to it. I wanted to stay in case things turned…Another way. But now he                        seems fine."

 _Luhan wouldn’t force himself on his friend._ The younger nodded none the less.

"Hey, do you know if we’re aloud to go on the roof?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Dunno."

"What business do you have on the roof?"

"Nothing in particular, I just wanted to go there."

"Okay…"

He watched the younger go up the ladder. "Just don’t jump from up there," he joked but, as he didn’t receive any answer, he got worried.

As the boy closed the trap behind him, Suho appeared next to the Chinese man.

"Are you eavesdropping?"

"Actually, I’m done here. Hey, can you go see Sehun, he went on the roof and like I don’t know he didn’t seem well."

"Will do."

Stepping on the first bar he turned back.

"Was that?" He sniffed the air. "Oh my god, that’s Luhan."

"It is, but shh."

"Fine."

He faced the ladder once again and climbed it. He joined Sehun on the roof. He didn’t see him at first, the human being on the other level, where, under, was located the Korean dorm. He walked to the second ladder, taking a few steps up and finally locating him.

The young man was standing close to the edge, looking into the distance. _Don’t tell me…_ He continued his way up the latter, every step he took on the ladder soft and devoid of the bars’ metallic ringing. He tiptoed to the younger, watching where he set foot so he wouldn’t make any noise.

When he was close enough he pulled the human back, the both of them falling on the rugged floor. As soon as they hit the floor Sehun started wiggling desperately trying to get away from the nameless person. He stood up frowning when he recognized Suho who only winced in pain, small rocks pocking the skin of his arms and scratching it. The younger stared at him in confusion.

"Don’t jump," the leader said.

"I wasn’t going to jump."

"Ah…I thought…Because you…"

"Nah, I don’t wish to die."

"Oh well…"

He sat up feeling kind of embarrassed from his drastic drawing of conclusion. He pushed the sentiment away.

"That’s good."

"Yeah."

"Why are you here then?"

"Our landlords don’t want us to go on the roof and I wanted to get there once in my life. I’m sure from our apartment’s roof it’s probably more impressive but still, it feels nice to be up here."

The Korean leader smiled. He sat back, looking at the grey sky nostalgically.

"You remind me of Kris."

"Wot? How?"

"He used to come here often, back when we first arrived in Tokyo. He would come during the night whenever something was bothering him and look at the stars."

"We can’t see the stars here. There’s way too much pollution."

"That’s what I told him but he told me he could still see them. He told me he could still see them in his heart."

"Ouf," Sehun cringed.

"He said that coming here would remind him that even when he couldn’t _see_ the light, it was still there. He could sit here for hours. Once, he had slept here                and in the morning when I couldn’t find him I just knew. He had told me he liked the night sky when we first started talking to each other, but I wouldn’t have              thought that it was this intense…"

"It could’ve been worse though."

"True."

Sehun sat next to him.

"I really don’t understand how it could calm him. I get the thought, it’s a really nice way to see the world but I wouldn’t have been able to sleep here, it’s way too noisy during the night."

"Mmh."

They stayed silent, lost in their thoughts until confusion made it’s way into Sehun’s head.

"Lay's your partner, right?" He asked out of the blue.

"Mmh," the other nodde.

"But before…You were going out with Kris."

"Indeed."

Sehun frowned. "Okay…"

"It’s funny when I think about it…I was still in Korea when Kris and I started going out together. We came here so we could finally meet and it clicked more with Lay than him."

"That’s harsh."

"Yeah, I know. I’m lucky Kris understood. _We_ ’re lucky."

There was another silence.

"Sehun? Can I ask you a question?" Suho spoke.

"Sure."

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

"Soulmates, huh?"

Suho waited for an answer he thought would never came.

"Nevermind, you don’t need to…"

"I don’t know…I have met people that I weirdly seemed to already know...So I guess I could say that yes but at the same time I don’t believe that I could meet someone and think: "That’s my person." It seems farfetched when I think about it."

"Mmh…I get you, it’s hard to imagine."

The sounds of the city made their way to their ears. It made the conversation they were having feel more real and they acknowledged that it was the first time they talked together without the others around.  

"Do you?"

"I do. I believe that’s what happened for Lay and me. Although, I didn’t think "that’s my person" like you said but still, there was something that was pulling me to him and him to me. Even though I did love Kris, my attraction to Lay was stronger. It’s weird to explain."

"It’s alright, I get what you mean."

"Do you now?"

"Yeah...I think at least."


	21. Finding Shelter in the Coldest Places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for homophobic language, slut shaming (in a way) and rape/non-con + You might not want to read this while eating. 

As he opened his eyes, one word popped in his mind.

_Fuck._

He kept repeating the word over and over again.

_Fuck._

It was the only thing he could think of.

_Fuck._

He desperately tried to make himself better. He repeated to himself that what had happened with Xiumin was fine, that his friend would remain his friend and that he hadn’t completely ruined their relationship. He knew it was true. He deeply believed that statement and the way the older clung to him in his sleep only furthered his conviction.

However, that wasn’t the problem. The problem was something deeper he wasn’t awake enough to conclude by himself. It made him ashamed of the sounds he was certain escaped his mouth the night before and that the pack and their guests had surely perceived. He didn’t wish to face the members. He knew what they thought. It wasn’t right. Even though he knew they would deny it. He knew their words didn’t reflect their thoughts.

_Fuck._

He had the urge to cuddle Xiumin. How warm would he feel in the embrace and how comfortable he would be there enlaced by his friend’s arms pulled close to his chest; cheeks pushed to his chest and turning red from the heat. For once, he wanted to let himself pout and fall into someone else’s caring hands. He wanted to feel the hold around his body tighten, a hand patting his hair with all the delicacy that could also be heard in the older’s humming as he proceeded to express his love in gesture.

How weird; that longing.

He fought it. He sat up and didn’t even look at his friend while he put on clean clothes from his closet. When he crossed the door frame his heart clenched. He wanted to run back and cry into his friend’s arms.

He continued his way nonetheless.

It was early in the morning; the sun was only just getting up and the air was chilly from the night it had spent without the warmth of the natural day light. He pressed his arms firmly against his body. It was cold indeed but it helped wake him up.

He wished his imagination would be swept away by the wind along with his sleepiness but it didn’t seem it would turn out that way. Instead, every time it blew his way, it felt like a caress only reminding him further more of his cravings.

A glance at a nearby wall made him consider the act of leaning on it. The fever in his body made his knees weak.

He was pushed on the wall, hands digging on the skin on his hips and lips pressed to his lips.

He stopped in his walk. _No._ He needed to continue.

The further he walked from the pack, the more his throat felt tight under the feeling of wanting to cry. He pressed his arms even more on his torso and let out a little complaint.

Hands made their way gently around his waist accompanied by a warm breath on his neck. The strong fingers made their way down slowly, gently, really taking all the sweet time in the world; caressing his body, his clothes separating their skin. The mouth posed itself on his exposed skin like a drop of fresh water on a dry tongue. It moved languidly, massaging his tensed muscle with the sole intention of care that was communicated through the movement. The air that would escape the nostrils would cool the heat the hands would induce through his body and calm his hurried heart with its relaxed pace.

His feet brought him forward nonetheless. The feelings only grew more intense as he stepped into the Red Light district; being around humans at times like these really was the worse.

Ah, but there was a familiar smell. Was it _following me? Fuck off._ He surely didn’t feel like dealing with whoever that was. They seemed to approach him more. There was only a few meters separating them. _If you think I’m going to let you follow me like this..._

"...you’re dreaming, boy."

He turned a corner and hid knowing very well that the person following him would eventually make his way into the alley. When they did, he grabbed their wrist and tackled them on the wall forcing a hand on their throat. He was mad.

"It’s you. Of course it’s you."

The other spoke no word his face turning back into a neutral expression after he winced from the sudden mistreatment.

"Listen, kid, I’ve noticed you’ve come to appreciate a lot feasting your eyes on me and stuff and that’s fine but you have no fucking right to just follow me around like that."

The younger's perpetual silence only fuelled his anger.

"Do you realize I could fill a complaint against you? Do you, now? Do you realize in how much trouble you could get yourself? No. Of course you don’t. You’re still a teenager. You’re probably still going through a phase of discoveries."

The boy would still not answer, he wouldn’t even try to fight the hold Luhan had on his throat. He would only slightly frown and clench his jaw when the latter would tighten his grip.

"Well, I’ll help you a bit, boy: you aren’t attracted to men. You aren’t attracted to me, really. You think I have a pretty face because it looks _feminine_. You aren’t gay, bi or whatever the terms are. You are very much straight. You pretty much only even posed your eyes on me because I looked like a girl, as much as I hate to say it. It’s normal, you aren’t the only one. I assure you, I get that a lot." _So much._

He loosened his grip and eventually took his hand off the other’s neck.

"It’s fine that, at your age, you go through this questionning, I’ve been through that too but, like, from what I’ve heard, I’m pretty much the only dude you’ve ever looked at in that way. Don’t let yourself be confused, there can’t be that many gay people. I know it feels like there could since your friend is going out with a boy who’s entourage is mainly composed of homosexual couples but like no. You’re not gay and neither am I. You might have heard that I’ve been with men for money but it was only for money. I’m not gay and I won’t blow just anyone anywhere. It’s normal for a teenager like you to go through this but don’t fucking start to follow people around because you believe you have a so called crush on them."

"I’m not a teenager, the younger finally spoke, I’m 18."

"You act, sound and smell like a teenager."

"And you smell like cum." He replied without hesitation.

The feeling of a hand on the side of his face made him realize he might have wanted to think twice before voicing that. As he stumbled under the strength of the hit, his ear rang. He didn’t dare look up to see the furious look he was sure Luhan was giving him.

He waited until he could see his shoes walk away to look up and stare at his tensed posture. His phone had been vibrating in his pocket and he had been very aware of it. Already knowing what was coming and who had been trying to contact him, he decided he would answer.

"Hey, Kai."

"Dude, you scared me. Where are you? You fine?"

"Yeah yeah. Had a fight we Luhan-hyung just now." 

"What?"

He heard him repeat the information he had just received to someone off the phone.

"Are you still with him right now?"

"No, he left after slapping me."

"Okay, I want to know the details but I need to tell the others where you are so they can come pick you up."

"Yeah, um, I think we were going in the direction of the club he works at…I’m a few alleys before that."

Sehun let Kai the time to explain the others his location while he slid down the wall and on the floor and waited to receive the signal to continue his explanation before doing so.

"So yeah, well, this morning - you were still sleeping so that’s why you probably didn’t notice - he came down and it woke me up because he hit the couch passing by. He was walking all wobbly and didn’t answer when I called him so I just assumed he was probably walking in his sleep but like he went outside so obviously I followed him. Turns out he wasn’t walking in his sleep and was very much aware I had been following him. Oups. So basically he got super angry at me."

"Aw. Now you know how Chanyeol felt."

"Oh please, this is not the same."

"On a Luhan-hyung point of vue, yes."

"Ugh. Okay but dude I wasn’t done."

"Continue."

"So, he started off by preaching how stalking someone was illegal and suddenly he just ranted on how there weren’t that many gays in the world and that I probably wasn’t attracted to men, and he was really, really mad. He also said that, like, he wasn’t gay "either" and I think he might have had issues when he was younger with that, maybe people called him a faggot when he was younger because he’s a bit more feminine, he sounded insecure about his face too."

"Oh, maybe."

"He kept saying that I was a teenager so it was normal for me to question myself in that way, which I guess is true in a way but really it just made me mad and I kinda called him a hoe."

"…Dude."

"Yeah."

"That’s why he slapped you?"

"Yeah. Well, I deserved it."

"Yeah. But it wasn’t right of him to say those things too, like, yeah, you might be in a phase but you also might not be…And it doesn’t change the fact that for now you’re attracted to him."

"Mmh. But, it’s fine also, I think he’s still sick."

"Mmh."

"He looked like he had a fever and all."

"He should still apologize to you."

"I agree. I should also apologize."

"Yeah."

 

 

 

 

Hungry eyes were watching the deer ready to ambush him, jump on him and molest him. He had seen these looks way too many times and recognized one or two of their owners. He desperately tried to ignore them, walk with his head high and not let his head wander off into anxiety. At this hour most of these men were sobering up after all, their hangovers probably hitting them hard. He recognized the sight of vomit on one’s shirt and forced himself to look away. The sight disappeared but the smell lingered.

Closing his eyelids, he hoped for the sudden retch that had climbed his throat to be shoved back down. The few seconds where he couldn’t see were enough to make him bump into someone. He instantly tensed. If he had been feeling dominant with Sehun a few moments ago, at the moment, he was feeling the total opposite.

"Hey Lu~," the massive man sang, pressing firm hands on Luhan’s shoulders, "it’s been a while…"

"Mmh, indeed. Sorry I was kind of in a hurry…You should come by the club sometime soon."

The hands went down his shoulders gripping his arms tightly but still in a somewhat reassuring way.

"Ah but Lu, the club’s fees are…tsk. Maybe, I’ll come…Would you like that, Lu?"

"Mmh," he nodded his cutest nod.

"Will do, baby."

He grazed a cold thumb on the other’s lips and disclosed: "For next time." With that he left and the shape-shifter could finally breathe. He continued his way, feeling blessed when he was finally able to enter the building. He headed for the elevator and leaned on its walls as it went up the many floors.

It had been a long time since he had set foot there, almost a year and, knocking on the door, he got scared for a moment from the possibility that this might have been the wrong apartment.

He was reassured when he was welcomed by a familiar face, smiling at him in pity. «Hey, Lu, come in.» The woman took his coat and he let her range it out of his sight. He let his eyes admire the view that the large window wall was giving to him and waited until she wrapped an arm around his waist, guiding him to the white leather couch, before sitting down and shivering when he got in contact with the cold fabric.

He followed the woman with his gaze as she went to grasp two already filled glasses on a counter and brought them back. He understood she had been waiting for him. A hand offered him a glass filled with a transparent liquid and he knew he couldn’t refuse it.

"What is it?"

"Water for you, vodka for me."

"A screwdriver? This early in the morning?"

"The concept of mornings and nights don’t apply to me. Life is a never ending day."

"As expected of you, Hotaru-san."

She sleepily giggled. Luhan noticed how she was only wearing a silk robe de chambre, her nipples pointing from under.

"You were expecting me."

"Mmh, Hiro called me. Told me you got in a fight with a kid who came by the club yesterday. He said you two didn’t leave on good terms as well last time, if he’s annoying you, just tell me and I’ll make sure he never comes close to you ever again."

"No, it’s fine…He’s a friend of one of Baozi’s roommates’…mate."

"Ugh, that’s too complicated for me right now. I would need more than this," she raised her glass, "to understand the links. Mind if I just save him in my head as          Baozi’s friend?"

"No, it’s fine."

"So, is he the reason why you’re…Like this?"

"No, he just happened to be there when I was already feeling like shit."

"And...You came to see me because you were feeling like shit, I’m guessing." It sounded more like a question than an affirmation. 

"Mmh…"

There was a moment before he understood the silence she was purposefully installing was his cue to explain what really brought him here.

"Hum…Hotaru-san…Can I take the clients home today?"

She gave him a serious look where pity could once again be distinguished.

"It’s because you’re in heat, right?"

Luhan nodded shyly, not liking the sound of the word one bit.

"Yeah, sure. I’ll ask one of the trainees in, I’m sure they’ll be more than glad to finally have a chance to act as a real host. A few of our contacts had been requesting you for a while as well so it’s actually…"

"No shapeshifters though."

"Ah, no? I was told it would be more satisfying for…"

"No."

"Okay…" She stared at him surprised by the serious tone.

"Please."

"It’s fine, Lu, it’s fine," she reassured him, worried by the pleading of his eyes, "if you don’t want it, I won’t force it on you."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Is that all the matter you wanted to address me?"

"It was."

"Then, I’ll escort you to the door."

She smiled and offered him a hand to get up from the hard cushions, leaving behind his glass of water. Walking to the entrance, Luhan spoke again making his superior halt.

"I’m surprised you don’t offer me to stay."

"By the number of times I’ve already asked, I know the answer in advance."

Luhan simply giggled. He was already preparing to take his leave again when Hotaru-san stopped him: "But maybe you would accept if I proposed to take care of you?" He turned around, his eyes wide and cheeks pink.

"Do you monitor my phone calls?" He yelped following his boss as she went to fetch his coat.

"So, I was right?"

She glanced at him, a playful smirk on her face. She would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy making this host blush.

"Don’t worry," she reassured him while giving him his coat, "I don’t monitor your phone calls. I just asked my shapeshifter friend to pay me a visit when you told me you were sick. He told me what you had sounded a lot like symptoms of heat so I asked him to tell me about the whole thing. It’s only normal I look for ways to help you."

She smiled as he put his hands in his pockets, ready to leave. "Go rest. I’ll send you a schedule with the people that want to see you and I’ll tell Hiro so you don’t have to worry for anything."

 

 

 

 

He had returned from his boss’ apartment right after their discussion to rest a bit more in forecasting of the coming day. He was comfortably sleeping, an arm above his covers to feel the fresh air contrast with the warmth of under the blankets and another under his pillow to hold his head. His fever was down for the moment, letting his head calm for the first time in two days.

 _But, of course,_ that moment didn’t last. There was the ringing of his door bell before his alarm could even be heard. He woke up panicked thinking his alarm might have turned off by itself. He reached for his cellphone. His first client was supposed to arrive only an hour after so he assumed it probably was his bodyguard.

He stepped out of bed, sleep making him still a bit dizzy and walked lazily to the door. By the time he arrived at the entrance, the person had already rang the bell thrice.

The deer opened the door and tiredly greeted the man in Japanese. He was young, most likely younger than him, taller and had glasses on giving him a nerdy look. He had, under his nose, the little hair of a teenager that tried to have a moustache.

"Oh, sorry, did I…Am I at the wrong address? Are you not Lu-san?"

"Ah no, I’m indeed Lu…Is there something the matter?"

"Actually I was supposed to…"

The boy looked down in shame and the host understood. _Hiroya-san isn’t there yet though. What do I do?_

"Oh! Are you Nakajima-san?"

"Ah, yes…"

_It’s probably his first time._

"Come on in," he gestured the inside of his apartment, "I apologize I wasn’t expecting you this early. I just-"

He didn’t have the chance to finish his sentence startled by the man closing the door behind him and quickly locking it. Luhan frowned.

The other man quickly closed the distance between them, pressing their lips together in a rough kiss.

It wasn’t the first hurried client Lu had and he knew it was surely not the last. He hated them. He didn’t particularly like this part of his job to begin with but the precipitous clients were really the worse - them and those who simply didn’t respect his limits, they usually paired -.

He preferred when they could talk beforehand: what the person was into, what they were interested to try, his own limits and his safe word if there was necessity. In a sense it also permitted him to get used to the other’s scent and their physical warmth. He found it terrible to be pushed to get accustomed to both in one go just like then. Didn't he always request that from his clients though? 

Plus, he wasn’t even prepared. If the man had planned on doing anal he would have to find a way to get his asshole ready while still taking care of his client. If he didn’t give him attention he could lose interest. _Ah, I wish._

He gulped back his frustration and tried his best to get accustomed to the other’s rhythm. As a sign of obedience - a characteristic of Lu- he forced the hands that had been trying to push the man away in reflex down; they lay on each side of his torso, unmoving.  _It feels...unusual._  As soon as that was done, the taller took the opportunity to minimize the distance between their bodies. He held his biceps so tightly he was sure it would leave marks. Luhan knew they would probably be gone after less than half an hour but still. He was using a lot of self-restraint not to fling his client off him.

The man was really rough; the pressure on his lips strong and teeth biting to force the host to open his mouth and let his tongue invade it. It wasn’t good. It was lousy in fact.

He had met clients that were good kissers, people he actually enjoyed making out with – the man he had met earlier in the alley was actually one of them - but, him, he was at the opposite end of what it could be.

The man’s eagerness was quick to make Luhan fall back on a nearby wall – on the corner of one to be more precise – and he let out a pained whine that was apparently mistaken for something else by the other as he smelled his arousal deepening and also some strange kind of happiness. _Why are you getting proud? What do you have to be proud of?_

He was glad when the kissing finally stopped in favour of breathing and he let it show on his face. The client wouldn’t know the reason behind his contentment after all, so why keep himself from showing it?

He leaned on the wall, breathing deeply, letting the bespectacled man get a good view of his reddened lips, trying to make himself look fuckable. The sight seemed to satisfy his guest well enough. Even though the client’s face remained relatively neutral, the host knew. It was easy to sense.

The taller man looked away. He first looked to his left, to the kitchen and the living room and then, not finding what he was searching for, he looked to the right, to the bedrooms. Luhan was quick to notice the change in his expression when he saw the bed through the doorway but not quick enough to notice how the client’s hands rapidly gripped his body to lift him up.

The gesture in itself didn’t frustrate him, however, when the client passed the bedroom he usually used for work after he had repeated him to go there and instead went straight to his bedroom, Luhan grew irritated.

He was thrown on the mattress, the client mounting him. He starred straight in the host’s eyes, his expression as dull as ever and the other did his best to not show how frustrated it made him that this stranger was on his bed. The worst was: he didn’t even take his shoes off when he entered. He was sullying his sheets and his personal space both literally and figuratively and it made him angry.

However, the man was his client. He didn’t want to yell at a client for entering his room with his shoes on. As much as it could be understandable, he knew it could stain his reputation as a host.

_Bear with it. We’ll wash the covers after._

As the taller man’s hands crawled under his shirt he let out a surprised whimper, having forgotten that his body had been unusually receptive to other people’s caresses. He closed his eyes when the other’s cold fingers gripped his pectoral as if he had been gripping a girl’s breast. He could feel the same feeling as earlier vibrating through the man once again. He understood the boy was only another of these people that took pride in making him react.

A moan was forced out of his throat as hands started playing with his nipples, his shirt being pushed further up his body by the man’s arms.

Even after noticing his acute sensibility the day before, it still surprised him. He wasn’t used to it. As a result, he squirmed under the man’s touch blushing and whimpering as hard as ever. The man’s reactions disgusted him as much as his own. Wasn’t it disgusting how he could appreciate this much the touch of a complete stranger?

He tried to push the thoughts away knowing very well he wouldn’t be able to do his job if he let them be. At the same time, his hands tried to stop the client’s actions by resting themselves against his torso, applying a bit of strength. He doubted his body actually wanted to oppose the action though. His mind maybe but his body...

The outcome was unexpected from Luhan. The client lifted his shirt totally up, bringing, at the same time, his hands above his head.

He came back to reality, not letting his mind be engulfed in the pleasure his body was receiving. This situation could very well turn out dangerous for him.

"Wait!" He spoke up and to his contentment, the client did so. He stopped his dive to his left reddened bud to look up but remained silent.

"Before you do anything else, know that everything you will do will add on to your bill..." As the man didn’t answer he continued: "And my safe word is Rubik. If I say that, you have to stop."

The client looked at him for a few seconds before agreeing to his terms, the same neutral expression as before still on his face. Luhan didn’t feel quite reassured but he quickly forgot his insecurity when the man decided to lick his nipple. The action was soon followed by him taking the hardened part between his lips and then his teeth.

The deer kept his eyes and mouth shut, sounds still finding a way to escape his throat. Usually, he would purposefully be more vocal except if his clients told him it was a turn off for them but, this time, he really wasn’t reacting for the client. He just couldn’t help it.

His hands balled in fists and his feet wished they could imitate them. He would arch his back and wiggle around; maybe it was to feel more or to escape the excessive pleasure. He didn’t know and didn’t want to know, not then at least.

He couldn’t even think, totally lost, he was only acknowledging the movements of the other’s body. The lips on his torso, the tongue on his nipple, the knees on each side of his legs, the hands slowly descending along his back and stopping on his bottom to grip the bumps.

Before he knew it, he was lying on his front. It took him a moment to realize what had happened, enough time for the boy to pull off his pants, and once again, he forced himself back to consciousness.

He knew what the other wanted to do and he was pretty sure he would have to guide him to make sure he wouldn’t hurt him.

You didn’t attempt anal sex just like that. He wasn’t prepared and he would have to get prepared for it to work. _But, fuck, I don’t have lube in this room._

"Nakajima-san," he wiggled, "Nakajima-san, please wait. I’m not prepared and I need to..."

He was silenced by fingers pressed on his nipple and a mouth on his bum, biting and kissing it.

His will was still stronger: "Nakajima-san, I need...We need to prepare me. We can’t do it if I’m not prepared." The client seemed annoyed and he pinched his nipple as an answer. He felt him straighten up behind him, his weight digging in the mattress. His mouth had left his butt and his finger, his chest.

He was wondering what the other had been up to until the violent press of a moist finger on his anus made him understand that the guy had been sucking his fingers as a replacement for lube. The man didn’t wait for the muscles there to get accustomed and just pushed it inside. It was unpleasant but bearable. At least it was only one finger.

"Nakajima-san, go slower, please." There was the same feeling again. _What the fuck._ Luhan couldn’t help but feel repulsed. He had been with sadistic people before but most of them had been relatively respectful being more into role-playing hurting him than actually hurting him.

Without taking the first finger out the man added a second and the host decided that that was his limit. "Rubik, Rubik." He winced at the pain and did his very best to not swear. "Nakajima-san, Rubik, please stop."

As the client didn’t follow his demands, he started panicking. Sure, he could use his powers but that would mean exposing his shape-shifter self to the other which would lead to Hotaru-san having to make him disappear or something. He hated being the reason behind that.

The man continued forcing his asshole open hurriedly.

And Hiroya-san wasn’t even there. _Fuck._

The taller took the two fingers out and the host heard him unbuckle his pants. _Shit ._ He pulled on his restraints trying to distance himself from his assailant by going closer to the bed’s head.

He realized the movement had been a bad idea the moment he heard a loud slamming sound. He froze, mostly surprised, only emitting a very faint yelp. It was only when he sensed both the pain on his back’s flesh and the merriness in the man’s spirit that he was finally able to process what had just happened. A few whines escaped his mouth as the sting the belt had left on his skin grew more intense.

He moved against his will trying to find a position in which he wouldn’t feel the pain even though he knew it was useless. When he felt both of the man’s hands on his hips, preventing them from moving anymore, the best solution he could think of was to cut off his body in half, right through the spine. His legs would fall along with his posterior and he wouldn’t have to go through this anymore and never again as well. His worth as a sex worker would drop drastically. That boy could finish what he wanted to finish with the hole of his back and he wouldn’t have to feel. The sensations wouldn’t have to add up to his file of damaging memories.

In a flash, something sticky and stiff was shoved into his unwilling muscles. The air cut out of his lungs. Behind him, the man let out a low, long and breathy groan as he forced that dull knife of his to cut his skin open. The shock made his thighs weak and his mind was making enormous efforts to fight the gravity that was pulling him further down on the object of his torture. He leaned on the headboard, his fingertips desperately clinging to it for it was his only solace at that moment, trying to still his body so it wouldn’t aggravate its situation.

He forced himself to breathe in, he knew the gesture could help his muscles relax.

It was no use asking the client to stop, he just wouldn’t understand. _I better do something._

Slowly and making sure to not gain the attention of the taller that was now thrusting into him and ripping him further open, he untangled his hands from their hold using his powers. As soon as the man was out he turned around, kicking him. He sat up and jumped off the bed.

Everything would have worked if only the man didn’t take a hold of his ankle. If only.

Then, his skull wouldn’t have collided with the floor and he wouldn’t have collapsed, helpless, on the cold of the wood.

His vision was blurred.

There was a shadow leaning over him.

There was a pounding in his head.

There was blood on the hand that had touched his hair.

There was a shadow reaching for him.

 


	22. For Your Endeavors Might Not Always Be Rewarded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violence, sexual assault, mention of non-con and violence/pain + You might not want to eat while reading this.

He ran.

The memory of how he left the apartment was blurry. He had stood up from the floor, shoving the other’s hand away and had hurried to the door bunglingly as he pulled his pants up. As soon as he reached it, he unlocked it without looking back already hearing the angry footsteps that were following him.

He was able to distance the other from him in the stairs; his legs way more agile and adrenaline now flowing through his blood. He yelled for Hiroya-san, for help. He continued until he reached the front door of the apartment building.

The air hit him as soon as he had stepped outside. The wind was cold but still warmer than his room had felt a few seconds before. It still held the same reassuring feeling as it did in the morning and he thought that maybe it was God trying to communicate with him, tell him that everything would be alright, that he would be able to reach somewhere that was safe.

He ran.

He tripped.

He watched as the bespectacled man’s body grew bigger and bigger as it approached him.

He rose up, his mind not yet abandoning the idea of finding safety. He reached the door to there.

He couldn’t open it. As much as he tried with both his arms and powers, it couldn’t be opened.

_Why are you doing this to me?_

He wanted to knock but he was quickly turned around by the same hands as earlier, now sweaty.

The man was angry, letting out a grumble when he had been able to reach him, but still interested. He reached into the host's pants taking a hold of his penis and forcibly jerking it off. It was rough but the deer’s human body still seemed to enjoy it and it frustrated him. _Why must I be like this?_

He pushed on the man’s torso hoping for him to stop and focused on the door with his powers. He felt the sobbing creeping in his throat.

The support of the door disappeared just as the man unzipped his own pants and Luhan fell backwards, his body never hitting the ground as arms caught him and pulled him further inside. He was mostly shocked not sure of what was happening.

He was staring back in the man’s eyes; he looked as confused as him but angrier. His anger then changed for fear as he looked to his sides, he stumbled a bit backwards. Hearing a growl, Luhan turned his head, first to his right then to his left.

Wolves.

Growling wolves with lips curled up and ears standing tall.

They marched forward pushing their uninvited and unwelcomed guest further back.

Ice formed under his feet and as the wolf on his left barked he took a quick step back and tripped. He yelled and yelled until he was able to be back on his feet and run away.

Luhan was leaning on Lay’s torso; he had recognized his smell when the man had caught him. The healer was on his knees and holding the older’s head to his chest tightly.

The wolves had turned their heads to look in the back of the hangar, it looked like they were scared of something standing over there.

"Guys, please go back up." He heard Chen demand and he finally distinguished the smell of the teenager he had had a fight with earlier in the day. _Did they...Transform in front of them_?

His fever was back and he heard himself whine for Xiumin, who quickly transformed and came to him, posing a comforting hand on his cheek.

"I need to get him in a bath," Luhan heard the healer say and the hand left him. Lay stood up with his gēge in his arms and he made his way to the Chinese dorm where he entered the bathroom and posed him in an emptied bath, Chen following him from close, now more used to his crutches. The Chinese Leader and Xiumin soon entered the bathroom as well, closing the door behind them.

The deer lost consciousness while water was poured in the bath.

"Lay, what’s wrong with him?" Xiumin asked on both a commanding and worried tone. "Why did you have to put him to sleep?"

"His...Interior didn’t heal properly."

"What does that mean?"

"I’ll have to rip it again so I can guide his body into healing properly."

Lay heard Kris and Chen take a deep breath. _Indeed..._

As soon as Luhan had dropped into his arms moments before, he had scanned his bloodied body and had automatically understood what had happened. It pained him to make the older’s body go through the same pain once again. _Forgive me,_ _gē._

They called him a healer for he could heal but truly he only manipulated people’s bodies. He could make cells grow as much as he could kill them and repair wounds as much as create them. However, he truly hated using the other half of his powers.

He closed his eyes focusing on the lower part of the man’s body and took a deep breath before commanding his body to rip itself apart. Quickly he sensed the nerves sending a message to the brain that was powerful enough to wake the other up.

The both of them opened their eyes. Luhan was panicking, his whimpers slowly turning into sobbing as he acknowledged the agony of his body and the crimson color of the water.

Lay knew he couldn’t stop his action, so he resigned himself to closing his eyes again and trying to block the sounds of his friend’s wails. He felt Xiumin sit on the edge of the bath, leaning into it and reaching for Luhan.

The cries slowly died down as Lay moved on to the healing process. The deer’s breathing was calmer but still troubled by soft weeping and he could hear Xiumin shushing him.

Once finished, Lay emptied the bath and turned on the shower, adjusting the jet to the softest option and washing the blood off of Luhan carefully avoiding the places were wounds had yet to heal.

Said man had been abandoned of strength. He laid in the bath, his eyes not even focused as his body still fought to close the wounds the fall of earlier had spread on his arms, face and chest.

The five men let silence heal their shocked minds and only started speaking again minutes later. The sound of speech was like a stranger to them.

"Lay...Can you..?" Luhan asked weakly supporting his question with a hand waving over his chest before it came back down loudly. Lay nodded, understanding the wounds had healed. He took the showerhead and waited for the water to be warm before pouring it on his friend’s chest and feet that had been tormented while he ran. The earlier blood slowly reached the drain. He washed the older’s head thoroughly after asking him permission to do so, getting the help of Xiumin. They had switched places, the older now sitting on the edge of the bath a hand in his friend’s hair separating his blond locks to wash away the crimson staining.

When they were finished Kris turned around to get a towel for the man but as Chen was blocking the door of the cabinet, the latter had to move and get it, passing it to the older after.

Xiumin was pushing Luhan’s wet hair out of his face when Kris poked his shoulder and he grabbed the towel he was presenting him. He was going to dry his friend’s hair but said man grabbed the cloth to put it on his head.

His arms were heavy as he did slow movements to rub the towel on his hair. He seemed already exhausted by the simple action.

"Lay," Chen spoke, "I’ll go get clothes from him in your stuff, is that fine with you? You two are pretty much the same height."

"Sure," Lay answered.

"No. It’s fine," Luhan turned to the man close to the door, his tired arms falling on his sides along with the towel.

He held himself on Xiumin’s thigh as he starting standing up.

"I’ll wear my pants to go back home. I’ll change there."

"Děng yīxià," Lay stood up to stop the man with his hands on his shoulders, "you need to be careful."

"Luhan, we’re not letting you go back home." Xiumin joined in.

He pushed their hands away with his powers while he leaned to get his pants that had previously been discarded on the floor. He leaned back and closed the curtain using, once again, his telekinesis. He only opened it after a couple of seconds when his bottom half was no longer naked.

He was fully standing up and ready to leave while the others were ready to stop him. Seeing them, he grew irritated.

"Guys, let me pass. Hiroya-san’s gonna arrive and get worried if I’m not there."

"To hell with this Hiroya guy, Luhan," Chen objected, "you aren’t well."

"I’m well enough to work, Chen, and that’s what I’ll do."

"Gē, you need to rest," the healer stated.

"I still have like half an hour before the next client. I’ll rest then," Luhan retorted, a leg passing over the edge of the bath.

"Luhan stay here, won’t you? Hotaru-mèi’s going to understand."

"It’s not a question of her..."

"You are not in debt anymore," Xiumin cut, "you have nothing to repay her. I’m sure she’ll be fine if you don’t go in for a few days."

"A few days? Bāozi you must..."

"We’ll call her and explain her. She will understand, I’m sure."

The buzzing of a cell-phone was heard and the eldest reached in his pocket, answering his phone:

"Yes?...Yes he’s here, Lay healed him, he’s fine now..."

"Xiumin pass the phone," Luhan commanded.

"We’ll be keeping him here for a few days," said man continued nonetheless, staring straight into his friends eyes to make him understand how serious he                was. "I hope you don’t mind."

The phone flew out of the wolf’s hand and into the deer’s.

"Hotaru-san?"

"Lu, I was talking with Baozi, give him the phone."

"Ignore what he said, I don’t mind working this afternoon and..."

"It’s not a question of what you mind and don’t mind in this situation, Lu."

"I’m fine."

"I don’t want to hear any of that. I’ll be cutting the electricity at your place and if you set foot at the club I’ll ask one of the guards to lock you up in my apartment."

"Hotaru-san..."

"Am I being clear?"

"Hotaru-san, I tell you I can work. You know I can."

"I don’t want you to work, Lu. You can’t work in your state..."

"What state? I’m perfectly fine."

"Luhan, I don’t tolerate insubordination."

The deer that had been sporting an angered expression was now all frowned brows and rounded eyes.

"If you set foot in the club or take in any client without my permission, you’re out."

There was a moment of silence. The others in the room had been able to hear the volume of the voice on the other line grow louder to go back down when she said the last bit of information. The man was left standing breathing fast, his eyes wandering around for something to say and his fingers playing with the material of his pyjama pants.

"Was that clearer?"

"It was," Luhan resigned.

"Give the phone back to Baozi now, please."

He did so without looking in his friend’s eyes.

"...Yes...Of course. No, no, it’s fine. He’s my best friend after all...Mmh...Maybe about four-five days? Yeah, I’m not sure...Oh no, we have other members that know what to do in these situations, you don’t have to do that."

To that, Luhan raised his head to look at his friend talking on the phone.

"Yeah," Xiumin giggled, "he is, you don’t have to worry. Sure, the number with which you called is yours, right? Okay will do. Yes...Mmh, have a good day. Thank you."

With that he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket.

"See, it’s dealt with." He declared and the three other wolfs stayed on the lookout as they could sense the irritation in Luhan while he stared straight into his friend’s eyes.

He eventually looked away which surprised the older that did his best to make his reaction pass unnoticed from the younger.

"If you stay then I think we should rearrange the rooms," Kris spoke up bringing the others’ attention to him.

"Explain," Chen invited him.

"Like the guys...Males," he corrected himself, "in the Chinese dorm and the females in the Korean dorm."

They sensed Luhan’s disapproval. 

"It would be safer for you is all," the leader elaborated, "and the couples would be separated as well."

"What with your guests?" Luhan asked, hostility could still be heard in his tone.

"Even though you don’t seem to get along with one of them very well, we won’t kick them out," Xiumin articulated.

"I wasn’t asking for you to kick them out I just wanted to remind you that you still have to explain them all this shapeshifter shit after what you did earlier."

"What did we do earlier?"

"You transformed in front of them, didn’t you?"

"No, we didn’t. They were in the Korean dorm watching a movie with the others."

"Well, that still doesn’t push away the fact that you can’t just tell them to stay out of the Korean dorm because I’m in fucking heat."

Luhan stumbled and his best friend was quick enough to grab him and incite him to sit down.

"We’ll find something," he reassured the deer once he was sat in the bath, "don’t worry about that." He frowned seeing the younger roll his eyes while he laid his head on the tiled wall. He wished he could turn to Lay for help but the latter would be as clueless as he was. Luhan’s skin was freezing.

"Do you want us to turn the bath water on? Would that help?"

The man to whom the question was addressed to simply nodded, his eyes closed tight and his eyebrows furrowed. He felt like puking.

Once again they pulled Luhan’s pants off to fill the bathtub.

"Gē told you, right? That it didn’t matter to us that you were a female or a male."

"Yeah," Luhan simply replied.

"But it still seems to be your main concern." Chen continued.

It took a moment for Luhan to answer. He took a deep breath, his eyes still closed and opened them slowly after breathing out.

"Yeah...But like...I know I’ll get used to it at some point, it’s just that for now it hits hard."

"Yeah, it’s fine."

"And I mean, a deer is way more badass than a doe."

"Sorry but I think Bambi’s mom was fucking badass," Kris commented.

"I’m not Bambi’s mom though."

"You could," Chen teased.

"Fuck off, Chen, don’t get me started on that subject."

Said man laughed.

"No one will force you to do anything," Lay reassured him seriously.

"Let’s drop this one right now."

"Okay."

Kris was slightly confused but didn’t ask for an explanation.

"But yeah, I don’t know, I was looking forward to having antlers."

"Mmh..." 

"You still could," Lay noted.

"I’m not a reindeer nor an antelope, Lay," Luhan laughed. 

"I’m pretty sure some female deer grow antlers."

"Mmh...We’ll see I guess."

"But yeah, it’s fine, gē. You have the right to be pissed or sad or whatever," Xiumin declared, "it is a shock after all."

"We just want you to know you won’t be any less of our friend or important or whatever. Even if you turned out to have a vagina we wouldn’t treat you any                  different and well you don’t. You still have a penis for all I can see."

Kris designated the man’s naked body.

"If it can reassure you," Chen started, "I’m pretty sure being female is more enjoyable than being male."

"Yeah," Kris took a deep breath; profound agreement could be understood in the raise of his eyebrows.

"As much as the others complain, they actually usually enjoy pretty much their heats."

"I don’t understand what you’re implying."

"Well, it’s from what I’ve noticed in Baekhyun that is but..."

"Okay no it’s fine I get it, Chen."

"Yeah," Lay seconded, "same for Suho."

"Yeah, we heard," Xiumin commented.

"But I don’t have a mate," the deer replied.

"You can always..."

"And I’m not homo. I like girls, guys."

"Then your mate will probably be a male girl like Amber for exemple."

"Listen, I love Amber but I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to be male."

"But who cares, as long as she has a vagina and tits she’ll be a girl, no?"

"It’s not about that, Chen."

"Don’t think about that, gē, your mate will be chosen for you to be able to love them. God knows more than you what is good for you."

Luhan exhaled and nodded. _He’s right. I should trust God’s will._

"I just really don’t want to bottom in my future relationship, ya know..."

"Then, top," Chen answered.

"Yeah, it’s up to you," Xiumin continued, "if you don’t want to do something, you don’t."

"It’s not because your deer is female that you’ll have to be submissive," Chen added.

"Mmh, Suho tops all the time and I’m fine with that," Lay commented.

"Well, that’s an image I didn’t need to picture," Chen faked a smile.

"But it’s true. You just have to communicate with your future partner your wishes and the things you aren’t comfortable with."

"People don’t always listen, Lay," Luhan shyly commented. 

They all knew he was referring to what had just happened and the atmosphere grew somewhat heavy.

"If your mate doesn’t respect you I swear to God I’ll make you mine," Xiumin spoke and although it was mostly a joke, Luhan felt that in a way the man would actually do it. For a second, Luhan considered it. He knew his friend would probably never ask anything of him so they could just continue their friendship as it was already. Their bond would just be more special, more profound.

He laughed but the gratitude he spoke afterwards was honest.

"Don’t get jealous if I see other people though," he joked.

"What do you mean don’t get jealous?" Xiumin gasped. "I’ll get jealous if I want to."

"You choose, it won’t make me stop doing so. Sorry, Baozi, but you won’t be able to satisfy me."

"Ha. Not what you were saying yesterday," Chen countered.

For a few seconds, Luhan was actually taken aback, sharing a look with the younger and feeling blush creep on his cheeks. However, he wouldn’t let himself be the only one to be teased.

"Enjoyed the show?"

"Right," Xiumin recalled, "I thought I had sensed someone on the other side of the door. So it was you, huh?"

"So, we’re part of your fantasies?" Luhan pursued leaning back.

"We have always been," Xiumin answered to Luhan with a complicit gaze, the latter giggling tiredly.

"I wasn’t..."Chen tried to speak but was cut by the oldest.

"Don’t try to deny it, honey."

"Red suits you well," Kris joined in the teasing.

"I didn't eavesdrop!" Chen yelled. 

"Suho told me he caught you standing next to the Chinese dorm."

"I wonder," Lay started, "is that why you were jerking off yesterday?"

Chen turned to him eyes wide in betrayal. He was fuming and the others, cheerfully surprised, let small laughs escape their mouths.

"Dude!" The youngest screamed.

"Aw, you don’t have to be shy, Chenny Chenny, it happens."

The storm wielder stared at his gē, his cheeks a nice shade of pink. However, after only a few seconds, his eyes diverted to Luhan. His eyes were tightly closed and his breathing was heavy.

"Gē? Are you alright?" He spoke and Xiumin automatically turned around to his friend. 

He clicked his tongue: "I’m sorry, I should have stopped the discussion when it started being sexual...Your fever came back...".

Luhan hummed uncomfortably. He really felt like he would vomit again.

The older put a hand on his head, using his powers to make the temperature go down.

"I’ll go talk to Suho," the Chinese leader spoke up patting Chen’s torso, "we’ll get a bed for him so he can go sleep."

"Thanks," Xiumin smiled as an answer.

Leaving the bathroom in the direction of the stairs, they were met with Suho and D.O sat on the living room’s couch, straight in their seats. Their eyes were full of questions.

"He’s fine now," Kris reassured them.

"What did you do to him?" Suho asked. "What happened?"

The others chose to sit down before answering the Korean leader’s questions.

"The guys said there was a man with him..." D.O spoke, helping them to start.

"Mmh," Kris’ arms were rested on his thighs.

"One of gē’s clients forced himself on him," Chen tried to explain, "and well..."

"Lay had to undo how his body had healed."

The two Korean members sported worried frowns on their faces.

"Like I said, he’s fine now."

"Lay is too," Chen added knowing Suho, "if you were wondering."

The latter smiled and nodded at him.

"Xiumin and him talked with his boss, he won’t be working for a few days and we’ll keep him here."

"Okay, I agree."

"We thought it would be good if the females stayed in a dorm and the males in another." Getting the fellow leader’s approbation he continued : "I thought the              females could stay in the Korean dorm since you’re the only female in this dorm, we’ll just have to find a way to tell Sehun and Kai that they’ll have to switch            beds and fast so that we can transfer Luhan to their bed."

"It would be better not," D.O opposed.

"Ah, no? He shouldn’t sleep?"

The three others were quite confused at the youngest’s opposition.

"That’s not it. I’ll leave him my bed, it’ll be easier. We would have to change the covers of the other bed if he was to sleep in it because the guy’s scents are in them and we don’t have any others."

"Oh, you’re right," Suho seconded, "should we share the guest bed then? I don’t think Tao and Baekhyun will mind sleeping together."

"Indeed."

"Okay but how do we proceed to tell Sehun and Kai?" Kris wondered. "Do you want to tell them about us?"

"Maybe? I don’t know...It doesn’t feel like it’s the good time."

"Mmh...Then what would be a reason? We’ll have to make them leave but Chanyeol too."

"For that it’s easy though," D.O replied, "we can just tell Chanyeol he needs to take care of his friends."

"Yeah, okay."

"And Tao will have to stay since we need to separate the couples..."

"Dude," Chen started. 

It seemed he had an idea. "'Separate the couples'. Make it seem like one of you guys had a fight."

"We could say you had a fight with Lay," Kris stated, "make a scene and all."

"What? I don’t want to do that."

"Make them awkward so they're forced to go take a walk or something and we’ll be able to switch Luhan to D.O’s bed and tell the others," Chen added to Kris’ idea.

"I’ll scare them..."

"It’s for a good cause though."

"And anyway they already think you’re rude."

"No they don’t, I was nice to them."

"If what you are saying is true then that won’t change."

After a moment of being hesitant, Suho finally agreed.

"Okay, let’s go," D.O said, standing up.

"What? What do you mean 'let’s go' I don’t know what to do and what if they ask why we fought?"

"Ah. Right...Just improvise something."

"I can’t just improvise..."

"Come on you can. You are teaching theatre at school."

"It’s not the same, I’m not good at lying."

"That’s not true."

"Maybe..."

D.O sighed.

"Think of the things that piss you off about Lay. You’ll be able to rant all you want."


	23. Denying your Pain Will Only Deepen the Wounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violent display of emotions, blood and injury.

The door to the Korean dorm slammed open and all eyes diverted from the movie that was playing to the fuming man that had just entered. D.O who was following him calmly closed the door in all gentleness to compensate for the violence it had received a few seconds before. He looked at the wall only to spot a hole in the parget. _There was no need to make a hole in the wall._

"Hyung?" Baekhyun worried grabbing Chanyeol’s hand tightly. D.O watched as Suho made his way behind the counter. The smaller walked calmly to where the others were, he heard the leader let out a loud discontented sound. He stopped next to where Tao was sitting, posing a hand in his back to pat him while he turned around to watch the older as he performed his act.

He had his hands resting heavily on the counter, his crimson countenance turned to the wall but his body still facing the others. He was silent but his breathing was deep and loud.

"Hyung, what’s wrong?" Baekhyun asked, millions of scenarios passing through his head. D.O’s calm aura told him not to worry but Suho’s legitimate angry one made him confused as to what to think and feel.

"Lay can fucking piss me off sometimes that’s what’s wrong," Suho stated his fingers retreating in his hands to form fists. He let the fury build in him and, when he finally felt like he could throw it out he smacked the counter with his hand.

"Sometimes I really ask myself why it had to be him, why I had to fall in love with him." He didn’t want to look at the others knowing the impact it could have on them especially Baekhyun who still had problems with people getting choleric around him.

"Why does he have to be this selfless?" He switched to Korean, his voice loud. "Why does he always have to put others first, huh? He doesn’t think of what’s good for him and always overworks himself! I’m fucking tired of seeing him always take everything on his shoulders! Can’t he understand that sometimes his body and mind can’t keep up with it? And if he doesn’t do it for himself can’t he do it for me? Is that too fucking much to ask?" He cried out the last sentence. "Can’t he understand that’s it’s hard for me to see him like this sometimes? I get scared for him; we don’t have unlimited strength. I always get anxious when I’m parted with him. I don’t know."

He turned around with the impulse of his kick on the counter, facing the cupboards and the dirty dishes next to the sink. "There’s always the thought that, maybe, I’ll come back to him passed out on the floor or something because he just decided that working for the sake of someone else was more important than his fucking health."

He opened his arms to express his frustration and the motion made a plate that had yet to be cleaned drop on the floor breaking in an awful shattering sound. He calmed down. _That’s enough._

D.O saw Kai’s eyes on him so he turned to the younger. His body was tensed on the sofa yet still leaned back depicting the awkwardness he felt inside. He raised his eyebrows faintly, demanding guiding from the older for he had no idea how to react.

"You guys go take a walk or something, we’ll deal with this," he whispered and Kai nodded leaning on Sehun to tap Chanyeol’s leg to tell them both what D.O had just suggested.

Baekhyun looked at the latter; he wanted to leave but maybe the man thought it would be better for him to stay _?_ As he sensed how serene D.O was, when his boyfriend asked if he wanted to go with them he was able to decline.

"I’ll call you when you can come back in, don’t go too far okay?" He addressed to Chanyeol keeping in mind that it could be dangerous for said man to walk around in the city.

The three friends made their way out of the dorm and when Suho felt that they were far enough he released his breath loudly, straightening himself and throwing his head back so he watched the ceiling, his lips pressed in a thin line.

"Shit," he mumbled between his teeth.

"Yeah shit," D.O repeated, "you made a hole in the wall and broke a plate. But still, good job."

"That’s not it."

He groaned sofly, looking down at the counter and resting his elbows on the edges of the sink. D.O frowned.

"There’s a piece of plate that got in my leg."

"Oh god."

"Mmh," he complained his voice high, "can you come and take it out?"

"Sure, stay still."

D.O left two confused men to make his way to the older. He was careful not to step on any shards and squatted behind Suho, concentrating on his bleeding leg.

"Breathe in," he suggested and as the other followed his words he quickly pulled the piece out of the wound and threw it on the ground.

"Ugh," the leader threw his head back once again, "thanks."

"No problem. I’ll get the broom."

"Thank you."

He turned to the others.

"Sorry for that guys."

"So everything’s fine between Lay and you?" Tao asked.

"Well yes, even though I do think everything I said...I can keep up with it now...But we talk about all of that so no worries."

"Okay," Baekhyun said, "that’s good to know."

"We just needed to make Chanyeol, Sehun and Kai leave," he explained, "we’ll be keeping Luhan with us."

"What’s up with gē?" Tao asked.

Baekhyun’s eyes grew wider as his body tensed.

"He’s in heat, we thought it would be better for him to stay here," Suho noticed Baekhyun’s shoulders go down and concluded he shouldn’t speak any further. The younger still wasn’t ready.

"So, we’ll be sleeping in one dorm and the others will be sleeping in the other."

They frowned.

"The females in the Korean dorm and the males and Sehun and Kai in the Chinese dorm," D.O precised coming back with a broom.

"Ah," Baekhyun let out.

"Wait, but that means I won’t be sleeping with Kris?" Tao complained.

"Sorry no. You’ll sleep with Baekhyun, is that fine with you both?" He asked D.O handing him a towel to sponge his leg.

Baekhyun smiled at the Chinese man.

"Like in the old days," he joked and with that Tao accepted.

There was a knocking on the door. "Get in," D.O said and the people on the other side entered, Kris leading the way and Xiumin behind him with Luhan in his arms, head hanging from his neck, his eyes closed peacefully. The older did his best to pass his friend through the door frame without bumping his head or anything.

"He looks dead," Tao commented, is he okay?

"Yeah," Kris answered, "he just fell asleep. I’m guessing everything went well, we heard you scream up to the first floor."

"Mmh, the boys really thought he was pissed it was funny to see," D.O smiled helping Xiumin to his room.

"Were you?" Lay asked poking out of behind the refrigerator close to the dorm’s entrance.

He was worried and Suho couldn’t help himself from going and hugging him.

"Not really...I just said a few things that usually bothered me but it’s fine. Even though your... selflessness can often piss me off, I’m learning to accept it. You are that way and I trust that you will still think of yourself when you take decisions." He stared in his boyfriends eyes, a smile slowly growing on his face.

He grew conscious of the people around them and looked away, blush creeping all over his face, neck and to his heart. Lay, seeing he wanted to leave the hug, embraced him even tighter posing his cheek on the other’s forehead and giggling as the other tried to distance himself.

He let his hands fall lower in the smaller’s back soon giving his ass a squeeze before releasing him after the older slightly jumped.

"We should leave the floor," Xiumin proposed coming back making the joly healer turn around, keeping an arm around his mate’s waist. "Sooner we’ll be out, better Luhan will be."

Taking a step towards the door, the shape-shifter froze.

Kris frowned seeing his elder wasn’t moving. He looked around, neither was the rest of them. His eyes slowly turned to Tao who was pouting at him, legs crossed as he sat on the couch. He sighed:

"You shouldn’t use your power like that, you’ll get exhausted."

"Aren’t you happy I do this? We won’t be able to see each other for a few days..."

He pushed himself up to kiss his boyfriend that had walked up to him but was denied the touch. Instead, the older sat next to him and Tao fell back on the couch, grumpy.

"Isn’t freezing them harder for you?"

"It’s fine, it’s not that difficult anymore."

The taller didn’t seem to believe him.

"I’ll unfreeze them after you give me a kiss," Tao proposed.

"I’ll give you a kiss after you unfreeze them."

The younger looked in his boyfriend’s eyes for a few seconds before directing his gaze to his thighs.

Their roommates resumed their movements and Lay was the first one to notice Kris had changed places. He watched as his leader rested a hand on his mate’s cheek to turn his face to him. He saw the man lean in for a kiss but didn’t see their lips collide for the back of the taller’s head was hiding their faces.

He decided to bid his own mate goodbye by giving his nose a peck first and then his lips. He let go of Suho’s waist soon after and sensed the other already missing his touch.

The latter crossed his arms to comfort himself. _Why does it feel like he’s leaving for a century?_

When the others left, the Korean leader felt Tao’s mood drop drastically. He turned to the younger who was staring at the door with a shaking chin. The younger diverted his gaze surprised but mostly upset by how much the situation affected him.

Suho walked up to him, taking pity of him but also understanding; the younger was only just learning how it felt to be away from his mate after all.

"It’ll be over soon," he comforted him while trying to do the same for himself. He pat the other’s back as he sat down and, when Tao leaned in to sob on his chest, he proceeded to pat his hair.

 

 

 

 

Only at night did Tao realize how much his separation from Kris affected him and how much he had been dependent of the later for the past two months.

He couldn’t sleep. Rather, sleep couldn’t embrace him because he wasn’t in Kris’ embrace. It was upsetting. He had been trying to doze off for a good two hours, him that usually dreamed after fifteen minutes.

He was sweating under the covers he had hid his face with after hearing noises in the dorm. What he hated the most about not being able to sleep was that he had to deal with being scared of the slightest creak of the walls. He also wouldn’t want to open his eyes too afraid that he would spot a floating face in the shadows of the room. So, he would stay under the dense sheets and end up sticky and hot. He would have to raise a corner of the covers once in a while to let in a bit of the cold air or else he would suffocate. What a pathetic end that would be.

There was only the slow breathing of Baekhyun next to him to calm him down. Once in a while, he would let out his signature sleepy wines and that would bring him back to reality for a few minutes. _Right. I’m not alone._

If only Baekhyun could wake up, maybe he would be able to sleep then. He could also use the opportunity to ask him if they could cuddle.

He pondered a moment on the idea of shaking the man awake but tossed the option away using the excuse of not wanting to be rude by waking him up to deny that he was too scared to come out of his hiding place.

Eventually, not being able to bear the heat any longer, he slowly crept outside of his lair of sheets with his eyes tightly closed. He opened them, breathing as slowly as he could and analysed the darkness of the room. He was lying on the side of the bed that was closer to the back of the room so the only thing he could see was the wall and the closed lamp that rested on the night table. _Nothing._

Reassured, he decided he would attempt to turn around. So he slowly turned his head to Baekhyun, his ear still hidden by the covers, his heart beating as fast as ever. His eyes followed the border of the bed sheets until they rested on the sleeping boy’s hair.

There was something else. His blood ran cold as he noticed, from the corner of his eyes, something that he knew hadn’t been there when they had closed the lights.

He stilled.

 _Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod..._ He delicately pulled on the cover that was hiding his sight with a hand that had stayed hidden under.

Voice and breath got caught in his throat as terror overflowed him.

There was someone in the room. There was someone sitting on the bed. There was someone staring at Baekhyun’s sleeping figure.

Well someone, it had a human form but it surely wasn’t human. They had the traits of a man: broad shoulders, short hair slightly shaved on the sides and a flat chest under a t-shirt. Only, he didn’t have skin. Rather, he seemed like he had some but he clearly wasn’t made of skin, muscles and bones.

The man that was sitting there, in front of Baekhyun, was translucent. Everything about him was made of a beaming white. There was only the center of his chest, a bit more towards his left, that wasn’t of the same color. There, there was a red glow flickering at a rhythm similar to the pumping of a heart.

That’s when it hit him: what he was seeing was a ghost.

With that in head he proceeded to look for a way to escape the situation. For the moment, the ghost wasn’t paying any attention to him and chances where he hadn’t even noticed he was awake.

However, every option seemed to only be destined to fail. He wouldn’t be able to slip away or get some help without getting his attention. Sure, he could close his eyes again and wait for morning to come and for the others to help him but, _god_ , would that make a long night. He didn’t really feel like cohabiting with a ghost for even a few hours.

He tried to freeze the man, that way he would be at least able to wake Baekhyun up, but, sadly, it didn’t work. He wasn’t able to find its energy in the room. _Of course, it’s a ghost._

He closed his eyes tightly. _Try to sleep. Just do. Please. That way morning will come faster._

However, as he had expected, the beating of his heart was too fast to let him sleep. He opened his eyes again, hoping that the ghost would be gone, but it was still there, caressing Baekhyun’s unconscious body.

He carefully slid his hand on the mattress until it reached the other’s back, the movement hidden by the bed sheets. He poked him repeatedly and pushed him even but the older wouldn’t wake up. He only distanced himself further from Tao while letting out a little complain. The Chinese man stopped moving. The ghost was leaning over Baekhyun and Tao watched as it posed a kiss on his friend’s cheek and gave his hair a little pet afterwards.

_Baekhyun, you’re fucking lucky you aren’t aware of all this._

He resumed the pushing after the ghost had gone back to his original position. Still, he wouldn’t get any useful reaction from him and Tao thought he would cry.

He whispered his friend’s name hoping that would do the trick.

He regretted repeating his action afterwards.

The ghost turned to him, eyes devoided of pupils staring at him. He seemed surprised at first to see he was awake but that expression quickly turned to a menacing one as he moved his arm from Baekhyun’s body to turn to him. He extended the arm that wasn’t supporting him, aiming for his neck, and as a last hope - but mostly because he couldn’t hold his despair in any longer – Tao cried out for help by voicing the first name that crossed his mind: his boyfriend’s.

 

 

 

 

Kris woke up panicking. Was that his mate he had heard, shouting his name in distress or was it only his imagination? Hearing the sobbing that came to his ear from the ceiling, he figured it hadn’t only been in his head.

He uncovered his leg and was going to get out of the bed but a hand caught his arm.

"Let go of me!" Annoyance came for he was too anxious to be patient and understanding.

"Kris you can’t go up there," Lay tried to reason with him.

"You must be kidding me! That doesn’t apply to this situation, can’t you hear?"

"You listen."

They stayed silent. No unusual sound could be heard in both of the dorms.

Lay released the other’s hand:

"He probably only had a nightmare, it used to happen to Suho and I all the time the first times he went out for business."

He sympathetically smiled seeing that the older still had worry painted on his face.

"He’s sleeping with Baekhyun, he’s not alone there...You guys need this; a bit of time apart from each other. Learning to be away from the other is healthy for your relationship, just like it was for our relationship, Suho and me."

"I guess you’re right..."

"Mmh..."

The healer pat the other’s back.

"Go back to sleep, time goes by faster that way."

 

 

 

 

He pulled the covers over his head and balled up as a last attempt to escape the situation, wailing the name of his boyfriend over and over again.

That was until Baekhyun pulled the sheets off of him and forced him to turn around. Tao had jumped when he had felt his touch but after sharing a look with the other, he slowly realized that the lights had been opened and that the older was awake. He was giving him a concerned look.

"You were screaming," he explained and Tao, remembering the source of his panic, looked around the room. It was gone. He grew conscious of the still humid feel of his cheeks and eyes and decided he wasn’t done crying.

"Hey..." Baekhyun further narrowed the distance between them and circled the younger’s shoulders with his arm. "What happened? Did you have a nightmare?"

Tao turned to him, staring straight in his eyes with his teary ones. He shook his head vigorously. The smaller frowned.

"There was a...I saw a..." He couldn’t bring himself to say it and Baekhyun only got closer to force Tao to realize that he was there and real.

"What did you see?"

"There was a ghost....There..."

He pointed the edge of the bed and Baekhyun’s face went pale. He didn’t dare to turn around. "A ghost?" The older repeated almost out of breath. "Are you sure?"

"It was sitting there and..."

The door opened itself, emitting, at the same time, an audible creaking. They both fell silent.

Baekhyun turned around, also getting his attention on the door while tightly holding on to Tao.

They both shouted when a head pocked in through the embrasure.

Tao hid his face on the older’s shirt while the latter kept his eyes fixed on the person that had appeared. He relaxed as soon as he recognized his dongsaeng.

"Why are you guys screaming for in the middle of the night?"

Baekhyun pat Tao’s back while the latter acknowledged D.O’s presence, tears still flowing out of his eyes. Seeing that, the Korean man that had just entered the room closed the door behind him and went to the bed where he sat.

"Tao saw a ghost," the oldest explained.

"What?"

"It was right where you’re sitting...I tell you I saw it!"

"Are you sure you weren’t still dreaming?"D.O replied not finding the sense in the other’s words.

"I wasn’t, I swear to god! It was there, white. It was petting Baekhyun in his sleep!"

Baekhyun shivered:

"Uuuuuuugh, I don’t like this," he pouted.

"Calm down, Baekhyun, ghosts don’t exist," the sleepy doe-eyed reassured.

 "I’m not crazy!" Tao grumbled.

"I’m not saying you’re crazy...There’s probably a logical explanation to it."

"I don’t care, I’m not sleeping here."

The youngest uncovered his legs and got up.

"Where are you going?" D.O asked and for a moment, Tao had to think. He shouldn’t go see Kris because it would cause problems with the arrangements the pack had established so he figured he would go sleep with the other leader.

"I’m sleeping with Suho."

"Okay...Are you fine with going through the hallway alone?"

The Chinese boy stared at the door for a bit. He nibbled on his lip.

"I’ll run."

Breathing in, he quickly opened the door and disappeared out of the room, rapid footsteps following.

D.O turned to his hyung.

"Will you be able to sleep?"

"Is it fine if we keep the lights on?"

"Sure, I don’t mind."

The smaller installed himself on the bed and prepared to go back to sleep but Baekhyun stopped him before he could:

"I’m surprised Suho didn’t come as well..."

"Mmh...He’s been having a rough night too...He would have come if I hadn’t stopped him...How are you taking it? If we push away what just happened."

Baekhyun let out an uncertain laugh.

"Pretty okay actually...I mean it’s not that hard for me ‘cause I wasn’t used to sleeping with Chanyeol in the first place...But...Yeah..."

"Mmh..."

D.O could tell the older was still tensed.

"Don’t worry about what just happened, really. It was probably just a nightmare...I never heard anyone talking about ghosts being real except from humans."

"Mmh..."

"Tao was probably too tired to differentiate what was real from what wasn’t and that’s why he thought he had seen a ghost...Don’t think about it too much."

Not receiving any answer, the younger turned around. Baekhyun’s back was facing him and he knew the man was exactly doing the opposite of what he had recommended just by the way his shoulders made a right angle with the mattress under him.

D.O sighed. He scooted closer to his friend and passed an arm around his waist; bringing him to his body and resting his head far enough so that he wouldn’t be breathing in the other’s shampoo smell.

"Sleep. I’m here."

He felt the other relax in his hold and gently, the two fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Added May 31 at 11h30 am) So as I explained to someone in the comments: shape-shifters don't usually actively believe in the existence of any other magical creature. "You could say that they don't really consider themselves as magical or anything. Obviously, I'm not saying that all shape-shifters think the same way but, if we're talking for the ones in the pack that were raised as shape-shifters, they were usually raised to think that they were just a different kind of normal and not supernatural but that varies from a family to the other." That said, I wrote a note for this chapter on AFF that I forgot to write here (oups): you are free to interpret the ending (what Tao sees and all) the way you want (technically you are also free to interpret everything in every story the way you want (you could decide to interpret this as the fruit of one of f(x)'s imagination and it would be okay I guess x) )). I don't know if I'll give it an explanation at some point so just see it the way you want for now :)


	24. Surrounded by the Hollow

Luhan felt at peace when his mind slowly woke up from his long night of sleep.

It seemed an eternity separated him from the last time he had breathed this deeply and calmly. He could feel the air going through his nostrils, down his throat and to his lungs. He could savour the feeling as they filled and unfilled leisurely.

He wasn’t disturbed by any sound around him. Every noise was muffled by the cotton that embraced his brain, preventing the latter from analysing their cause. There was an endless silence just for him to appreciate, to help him concentrate on the floating feeling of his body on the mattress that contrasted with how full, heavy but, predominately, delighted he felt inside.

Slowly, knowing there was nowhere he needed to go, nothing he needed to attend to, he opened his eyes acknowledging the bit of light that came in through the sombre curtains. Half-awake, he started looking around not very sure of where he was but still calm. Above his head there was a simple ceiling light: a white disk like you could see in many households. He continued his visit. He gave a look at the black wardrobe that was standing against the pale walls and then to the door that was closed for his privacy’s protection.

He had remembered that he was supposed to be in the Korean dorm but didn’t know in which room he was or how he had gotten there. He sniffed. Maybe his nose could help him find out whose bed he was laying on. However, his sense of smell was also numbed by the comfort of his brain; the data he had gathered was only an amalgam of imprecise information.

It was only then that he realized that all his senses seemed to be worthless, his view also blurred. _Am I still feverish?_

Moving his hand after intending to take his own temperature, he realized it had been holding onto something. It shocked him at first but then curiosity got him. He moved his fingers, trying to find the proprieties of the thing he was holding when his body send in two messages: first, he was touching skin, slightly wet; and second, it was unpleasant for him to touch, to be touched there, in fact. He continued nonetheless, interested. He moved his hand, wanting to know how he would react when it would slide on the slippery texture. As the skin moved with his hand around the hard element, his brain begged him to stop. It hurt.

He winced and pulled his hand away.

He inspected his digits, grazing his thumb over them. There was some weird liquid on them now, making them sticky. He brought them to his nose: it smelled awful but still weirdly pleasant. Although the stinking helped waking him up, there was something about it that reminded him of this satiated feeling.

He pushed himself up, frowning, and gave a look at what he had been holding.

These days it really seemed like he woke up to similar thoughts; a word that kept coming back to his mind.

He groaned.

He stared at his exposed manhood that now appeared a bit limper than when he had previously held it. It lay on the shirt Lay had lent him. From the tip to higher on his torso, a translucent liquid had been spilled.

He looked around searching for something to wipe it off and understood, at the same time, that he was in D.O’s room. _As expected._ He took a tissue from the box the Korean man had left on his night table and wiped most of the liquid off the shirt and off his hand.

He sat up, looking at the time. The others were probably making breakfast at this time. They would come in soon and ask if he wanted some. He needed to change. No way was he letting them see him in a shirt stained by his early activities.

He pulled his shirt above his shoulders and head and put it in a ball that he threw to the ground. He would wash it later.

He wanted to search through D.O’s clothes for something that would fit but that was impolite. He could have asked the man to come and do it himself but he didn’t want him to find out he had just jerked off in his bed. The man had been polite enough to lend it to him, he didn’t want to incite him repulsion every time he would sleep in his bedroom. No, asking D.O was out of the question. Asking Suho or Tao to lend him clothes was also excluded since theirs were in the Chinese dorm along with their mates.

Making way through all of these thoughts, he decided he would call Baekhyun. He walked to the door and only slightly opened it, just enough to pass his head, and mouthed his name. He knew he would hear him even if he didn’t scream. Confirming his thought, seconds after he could see the frowning younger appearing in the hallway from where the kitchen was.

"Hyung? You called?" He continued walking towards the older although he didn’t receive any answer from him before he was next to the door.

"Can you...lend me a shirt?"

Baekhyun frowned but seeing Luhan’s naked shoulder showing from behind the door, he accepted and left for his room.

The deer closed the door once he was gone, calming his palpitating heart. At least he asked Baekhyun, it felt like he could know, it felt like the latter had done something worse and that jerking off in a friend’s bed wouldn’t beat.

A few moments later, he heard faint knocking on the door that announced the smaller’s return. When Luhan opened the door, the other pushed it open - forcing the surprised older further in the room at the same time – and then closed it in his back. He threw the taller his shirt and leaned on the wall, keeping his eyes on him.

The deer hid his bare torso with the shirt he was newly given quite troubled by the fact that Baekhyun seemed decided to watch him put it on. _Are you a pervert or what?_

"Thanks," he awkwardly let out before placing the shirt to make it easier for him to pass his head and arms through the holes.

While he had his arms raised and head hidden in the shirt’s fabric, the younger took the opportunity to move forward.

He did something Luhan wasn’t expecting. It wasn’t something you just randomly did to people except if you had some weird kind of friendship. 

He pinched his nipple.

It shocked him and he hurried himself to put the piece of clothing on while stumbling backwards, his legs quickly hitting the end of the bed. Sure, it had been suprising, but mostly, what had gotten him blushing wasn’t the personal gesture that had been imposed to him in itself. Rather, it was how good it had felt.

He rested his hands on the mattress behind him, not daring to look at his friend. It frustrated him to react in this way, and by that he didn’t mean how he had felt immensely pleasured by the simple gesture and how his face had turned crimson afterwards, although it did irritate him, but rather how he couldn’t, how he wasn’t able to rebuke Baekhyun for what he did, even lightly. He wanted to get angry because that wasn’t something you could do without asking someone and he wanted to tell the younger that. He shouldn’t just stand there clearly showing no sign of any defence and almost already accepting anything that could follow.

Plus, it’s not like he had been acting this way with only the younger - he could’ve after all, he didn’t really know the wolf and he had a tendency to act as Lu with people he didn’t really know – but also with Xiumin, his closest friend and someone he felt free to oppose when it was needed. He remembered how he had lowered his gaze when the other had forced him to stay at the pack’s place. He wasn’t being himself.

Moreover, not only it felt like he could only submit, the frustration he was feeling then seemed to only be able to turn into tears.

Tears he wouldn’t let himself spill, obviously, but nevertheless a flow of anguish that crept in his throat and accumulated behind his eyes.

"Wow," Baekhyun exclaimed, "I never thought I would see the day I would meet someone more sensible from there than Lay. You’re beating a record, you know that?"

"How was I supposed to know that?"

"Everyone here knows he’s super sensitive from his nipples, it goes with his neck thingie, you know how he doesn’t tolerate people blowing in his neck? Well,            his upper body from nipples to shoulders and neck is extremely sensible. But _you_ , you’re reaching new levels."

"I’m not sensitive from my nipples." Luhan retorted, his eyes meeting Baekhyun’s for only a split second before coming back to the floor. "Not usually that is..."

He looked up once again and seeing the mocking smirk on the other’s face, enough frustration fuelled him to support his words: "Anyway, why would you do this? You can’t just..."

"Your nipples were erected and not like the 'it’s kinda cold in here' type. The 'we’ve been having too much attention' painful type. Have you been fondling                  them? So early in the morning?"

"Shut up."

Luhan diverted his gaze to glance at the younger again and see he was looking at Lay’s shirt, balled up on the floor. His eyes grew wider and Baekhyun stared right into them, understanding. He opened his mouth, awkwardly looking for something to say and decided on the simple "ah" sound followed by a reassuring: "don’t worry it happens to everyone" that only deepened his uneasiness.

"Hey," Baekhyun sat next to him, seeing that didn’t help, "really it’s fine. You’re in heat, heats do that to you. You get...More horny and moody and it changes a lot of things about yourself...But it passes eventually..."

Luhan was back to looking away.

"For exemple, I get super sensitive from my thighs whenever I get mine."

Seeing the older frown and feeling his mood changing, he continued:

"For Suho it’s his forearms and belly and D.O...Well I never really spotted anything with D.O regarding his physical sensitivity but he’s the sweetest when in heat. He also bakes a lot more sweets for us and himself..."

He sighed: "I wish he could be like that all the time..." He came back from his dreamy state realizing what he had said which made Luhan laugh.

"All of that to say we all live our heats differently but in the end it doesn’t change who we are when it’s over and doesn’t hum...Make us be us during them...I don’t know how to say that I hope you understand the big lines."

"Yes," Luhan smiled, "thanks for trying."

"Always."

The older sighed, Baekhyun had been able to put him in a good mood and he was thankful for that.

 

 

 

 

"Oh! Luhan’s not with you?" The Korean leader wondered when Baekhyun entered once again the living room.

"He went to take a shower." He walked to the kitchen’s counter. "He’ll come after."

"How is he?" D.O asked.

"Did he sleep well?" Suho added. "Did your screams wake him up?"

"I don’t know about that, he didn’t mention it but he slept well, more than well."

Suho frowned. _What does that mean?_ At the sound of D.O’s understanding, both him and Tao realized what he had implied.

"Did it help him?"

"Maybe, he looked better than yesterday, but his deer isn’t satisfied with just that."

"Yeoksi...We’ll find a way to help him."

"Ice cream, chocolate and pastas are our best allies," D.O declared, "we should go get some. I’ll get some ingredients for cake too..."

Baekhyun gasped. "You'll make cake?" He screamed in excitement.

"For him. That’s how I deal with my heats..."

"Yeah but you still go out to meet people, no? You could maybe recommend..."

"No."

"No?"

That answer was inconceivable to Suho and Baekhyun.

"It’s really not that impressive, guys."

"Wait, D.O...You mean..."

Baekhyun had a moment staring at the younger, mouth ajar and frowned eyebrows.

"You’ve never been with anyone?"

"No, I haven’t."

"Holy shit. I can’t believe it."

"Shut up."

Sensing Tao’s confusion, the Korean leader turned to him:

"You’ll understand when you get your first heat."

"Do I really want to understand?" Tao answered, reluctant.

"You don’t really have a choice," Baekhyun replied.

"And it’ll probably be soon since Luhan’s in one."

The youngest whined and to comfort him Baekhyun, who was now sitting next to him in front of the counter, pat his back.

"Suho?" D.O started closing the stove.

"Mmh?"

"Do we give the others food or..?"

"Oh, eh...Yes? We could...Go ask them if they want to eat here first and if so where they do..."The leader commanded the younger. "I’ll figure something out."

"Can’t we just text them?"

"Just go."

D.O gave him a perplexed look but left nonetheless.

 

 

 

 

Stopping in front of Suho’s room where he sensed his mate and Kris would be, he got surprised by a touch on his shoulder. He let out a small and deep "wo" that expressed his jolt.

Turning around, he realized that the hand that had poked his shoulder belonged to Kai. The latter snorted:

"Are you hiding something? You look unnerve."

"Oh, no, I just...Didn’t sense you."

_I don’t quite understand how too..._

"I didn’t mean to scare you, sorry. Good morning, hyung."

"Good morning."

"What are you doing here? I thought Suho was taking you as his hostage for the following days..."

"He’s a soft heart even though he sometimes tries to deny it; he sent me to ask you guys where and if you wanted to eat. That way I can check up on how his m...boyfriend is doing at the same time."

"Basically, you’re infiltrating our ranks and collecting information pretending to be an ally by saying you’ll provide victuals when, in fact, you stay loyal to your leader..."

"It’s a way to see it," D.O chuckled, "I guess it could be like that in Suho’s imaginary. He probably does see this quarrel as a war."

Kai laughed, leaning on the wall and the other followed him in his happy vibe with a smile.

"Sorry, we had to move you guys by the way."

"Oh no, it’s fine."

"Did you sleep well at least?"

"I did. I don’t know about the others though, but I slept fine. Chen-hyung passed me his bed."

"That’s nice of hyung. You slept with him?"

"No, he went to sleep with Xiumin-hyung. Had the bed all to myself. It was kind of weird; I’m used to waking up to Sehun next to me.'

"Right, you two usually sleep together, he’s sleeping with Chanyeol in Kris’ room I’m guessing."

For a split second Kai frowned but his face was soon back to a neutral expression as he answered:

"Yeah...Anyway, I’ll let you go back to your duties and go wake up these two."

He pointed the door to the Chinese leader’s room.

"Sure, let’s talk another time."

"Ne, good luck with your leader."

"Thanks."

With that Kai turned around, he let confusion be seen on his face once again. _I never told him Kris wasn’t sleeping in his room though...He probably just has good instincts. And it’s foreseeable that Chanyeol and Sehun would want to sleep together if it wasn’t with me._

_It was a guess after all._

He opened the door quietly hearing D.O knocking on the one to Lay’s room behind him before entering. He spotted the two lumps bellow the blankets quite close to each other. He closed the door in his back before making his way to the bed, noticing how Sehun had legs and arms tangled around his hyung’s body who was breathing loudly, nearly snoring and mouth wide open.

The youngest had always been one to like cuddles but it surprised Kai that the man wasn’t complaining of the heat.

He sat on the bed shaking Sehun lightly to wake him up while he pulled his phone out as it vibrated, signalling him he had received a message.

Entering his password and waiting for the device to load his message, he pushed Sehun again until he complained.

"What?" The sleepy man had asked.

"Scoot."

His friend groaned but cooperated nonetheless.

Kai lied down under the bed sheets holding his phone in front of his face. Sehun that was now turned and holding on to him looked up, squinting, to his friend’s phone.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Taemin."

"Is that the guy from your classes?" Chanyeol joined in.

"Good morning," Kai let out, still staring at his phone, "yeah it is."

"What does he have to say to you so early in the morning?"

"He’s wondering what I’m doing for Christmas Eve."

"Ah right," Sehun let out.

"What?" Kai asked.

"I kind of forgot it was coming up," the younger explained.

"Hyung, do you know if the 'pack' is doing anything at Christmas?"

"Nothing in particular, I think. We’ll probably just feast a bit."

"Do you think we’re invited?" 

"Right, I think Baekhyun did tell me the leaders wanted to throw you out on Christmas Eve...It’ll be their gift to the yakuzas to whom you owe money."

"I told him: 'Nothing in particular, why?'"

"Maybe he wants a date?" Sehun proposed. "My gaydar tells me things about him..."

The other two snorted.

"'I’m organising an outing in bars with others from the program and was wondering if you wanted to come?' is what he wrote," Kai read.

"So it is a date in the end..." Sehun continued joking.

"Did you bring your fake cards? And Sehun, he wrote that it was with the others from your program. It’s not a date," Chanyeol spoke.

"Yep," Kai answered his question.

"I received no invitation though. I remind you I’m also in the program. It could perfectly be a way to ask for a date. Then, Kai arrives at the bar, there is only              Taemin waiting for him and he says: 'The others couldn’t come, I guess it’s only going to be the two of us.' It will be the beginning of a new romance people will write about: The man who thought he was straight that turns gay for his friend. Dancers that develop a new passion together. I bet you twenty that it happens at some point."

"Fine."

"'By the way, can you ask Sehun too? I know you guys live together, I just lost his contact infos...'" Kai read.

"Looks bad for your twenty, Sehun-ah," Chanyeol commented.

"You guys are invited," Kai continued, "he says I can bring friends."

"Okay, I’ll ask the others."

 

 

 

 

"Chanyeol," the Chinese leader spoke seriously.

"Yes?" The younger shyly replied.

"You know that’s dangerous. You’ve just been transformed and..."

"Yes, but I thought since Victoria gave the okay last time..."

Later during the day, Chanyeol had pulled Kris to a room to tell him about Kai’s Christmas plans and ask for his opinion. As he had anticipated, the older was rather reluctant about the whole thing.

"It’s not the same. You’ll be in a bar surrounded by drunk people probably planning to get laid or something. It’s totally different. We can’t risk your wolf starting a rut in the middle of a crowded place."

"I’ll control it!"

"It’s not as easy as you think it is..."

"Baekhyun can be there to help me! My wolf usually obeys to his. He can come to! Actually, you could all come if you want; the more the merrier."

"Ugh...I don’t know, Chanyeol...It smells bad."

"You think I’ll be affected by the smell?"

"No, that’s not what I meant."

"Oh! Okay, I get it."

Kris sighed. He sat on his bed and ruffled his hair.

"Ask Suho."

"Does that mean I have your okay?"

"If he’s fine with it I’ll be fine with it."

"‘Kay, I’ll call him."

With that he took his phone out and composed the Korean leader’s number. It was weird to call him knowing he was in the same house.

He turned around hearing the door open and diverted his attention from Chen who had just entered to his phone as his hyung picked up.

"Do you not know of the knocking concept?" Kris criticized the newcomer.

"Ah, sorry, didn’t know you were taking part in intimate activities with Chanyeol...What’s he doing?"

"Eomma? It’s Chanyeol."

"He wants to go to a bar with his friend for Christmas," Kris explained.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you something," the only Korean man in the room continued, "I asked Kris first but he told me to ask you."

They heard Suho grumble on the other end. The younger waited until he was done complaining to make his request.

"So, on Christmas Eve, Kai and Sehun were invited to go to a bar to celebrate and I wanted to go too."

"You were invited?" The Korean leader asked.

"Yeah, his friend told Kai he could bring anyone he wanted so..."

"Are you sure they themselves can even go? Wouldn’t that be a bit dangerous for them?"

"Another reason for me to go, that way I can protect them if anything happens. I wanted to bring Baekhyun along too since he could help me control myself."

"Mmh...I’m not sure that’s a good idea though Chanyeol-ah, you’ve just been changed and all..."

There was D.O’s voice in the distance that wondered what was going on.

"Chanyeol wants to go out with his friends and Baekhyun on Christmas Eve." Suho explained.

"We aren’t doing anything in particular right?" He heard D.O ask.

"No...Well, I wanted to spend some time with Lay but seeing things as they are now..."

"Luhan-hyung should be ending his heat around that, I’ll take him to a restaurant nearby the bar they’ll be at, Chen-hyung and Xiumin-hyung can join us too.                We’ll leave the apartment to you love birds and everyone’s happy."

There was a silence on the other line. Chanyeol smiled brightly, expectant.

"Okay," the Korean leader finally said.

"Okay?" The other beamed.

"Chanyeol, don’t scream in the phone please."

"Thanks hyung!" He did nonetheless.

"You’re welcome. Was that all?"

"Yes. Yes, thank you."

"Okay, bye bye."

The puppy-like man turned to Kris with a bright smile on his lips:

"I got the okay!"

"I understood," the other laughed.

"D.O’s inviting Luhan-hyung, Xiumin-hyung and Chen to a restaurant that’s going to be close to where we will be so Tao and you and Lay-hyung and Suho-hyung can have the apartment to yourselves while we’ll be keeping out of trouble."

"Wait. He’s paying for our food?" Chen jested.

"He didn’t say that."

"Aw...I got excited for nothing."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is all for the chapters already written, the next chapters will come when I'll be done writting them so it will probably take longer to update. Thank you for reading Let's Be One, I love you and I hope you liked what you read already and will read eventually :) Have a nice day!


	25. The Future Lies Beneath us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violence.

On Christmas Eve, Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Kai and Sehun left like they had wanted to do, having the approbation of both the Chinese and the Korean leader. With them, Luhan and D.O had walked out of the hangar planning to go eat at a nearby restaurant.

They had proposed the activity beforehand to Xiumin and Chen who had accepted but when the day came, the older decided he preferred staying home and relaxing. Hearing that, the younger decided he would stay as well suggesting they watch movies and eat together while the couples enjoyed their private time.

After the first movie, Chen went to take a shower the other stating he would make himself coffee.

When he opened the door after his short shower, comfortable in his newfound cleanness, he went to the Chinese dorm’s living room expecting to find Xiumin there, waiting for him to come back to start another movie with a cup of coffee in his hands or maybe two, but he wasn’t.

He opened the door leading to the stairs planning to go the second floor and see if he was still there but the smell floating in the staircase told him otherwise. He smiled recognizing the faint scent of winter. This soft humidity lingering in the air that wasn’t associated to any sweet perfume: it was cold and metallic even. It was dull mostly but he still recognized it.

Following his nose, he headed for the hangar; every step he took only brought him closer to the brisk. It wasn’t unpleasant. He liked the feeling of this calm and cool weather on his cheeks.

Opening the eyes he had closed to appreciate the sensations more, there was the glimpse of the scenery awaiting him. There was a market there, of gleaming blue and white crystalline details. When you came down from the stairs you set foot on this soft road of ice that separated two rows of small boutiques hidden under the frozen trees and the shop frontages. There were people there as well. The role of these frigid characters was for some to guard the sculptures and canvas and to the others to buy the said merchandise. They were all moving but stayed eternally silent, their mouths moving nonetheless.

Enticed by the nostalgia, Chen stepped forward on the glacial decor that was slowly extending to the staircase and as soon as he did so, the setting changed.

The road and the boutiques stayed but the joyful characters that furnished its empty spaces soon changed to agitated animals pushing each other to get away. Some got umbrellas out to protect their head from an invisible menace while the guardians of art pulled their treasures beneath roofs of ice. They were going many different directions some simply disappearing by the dissociation of their composition and one of those was a woman, hiding her hair with her hands and running in his direction. He stepped aside when he thought she would bump into him and she continued, however, where the ice stopped on the floor, she stopped to. Like hitting a wall, her being broke itself in millions of crystals.

The Chinese man huffed, his breath noticeable in the wintry air. His eyes were wide. The scenery of before, as peaceful as it had been, was now shocking and distressing bringing back an old feeling of guilt.

He turned around feeling apologetic and his gaze turned to the ground spotting there some movement.

_Of course._

He smiled seeing the memory of a fluffy feline the color of fresh snow and eyes of melted glacier embodied and looking up to him. He crouched and tilted his head to admire the cat, his arms resting on his thighs. It approached him and bumped its head on his tibia, asking to be pet. He didn’t refuse the frosted animal the gesture. Its fur was cold but soft formed by teeny bits of ice. The complexity of what its creator was able to create never failed to astonish him.

Said man spoke in a language he hadn’t heard in a while: Shangaïnese:

"Do you remember?"

Chen raised his head first wanting to look at his friend but his eyes rested on a person a few meters in front of him. The child was kneeling, a kitten in his arms and sporting a smile proper to the youth.

He stood up, walking to the child who didn’t seem to notice him and instead continued playing with the animal. There was nostalgia in his heart that his eyes reflected. He inspected the moving sculpture; the details were so acute it felt like he was back to being twelve and looking into a mirror.

After a long moment of observing the boy, he noticed another shape in the corner of his eye and turned to see another boy that looked more like a child than the teenager he knew he was. His hand was extended in the kneeling boy’s direction, controlling the feline. He was just as he remembered at that time: chubby cheeks and long un-styled hair. His eyes were the only thing that wasn’t faithful to the past image but he didn’t blame its maker, after all, one couldn’t replicate how the gaze reflected someone’s thoughts.

He turned his head to look at the real Xiumin who had his eyes closed. He spoke using the same language the other had employed earlier:

"You have crazy memory..."

The other smiled.

"It’s creepy..."

The comment made the older laugh and Chen turned to look at the younger version of his friend.

"You even remember your face this precisely..."

Xiumin opened his eyes. They were back to using mandarin.

"I used to look into the mirror a lot when I was younger..."

"Narcissistic..."

"On the contrary."

"...Oh...Sorry, I didn’t know..."

"It’s fine, I like both my past and present image now...I just wish I would have appreciated it back in the days..."

"Mmh, yeah I understand."

Chen walked to him and sat on the couch in front of his friend who sipped his coffee.

"Where’s mine?"

"Where’s your what?"

"You didn’t make me a cup?"

"If you wanted one you could’ve very well done it yourself."

Chen pouted and Xiumin laughed putting his cup of coffee on a small table he had just created.

"I was feeling nostalgic," the older explained.

"I saw," Chen laughed, "was that the first time we actually interacted with each other?"

"From what I remember, yes. You couldn’t control your powers very well back then..."

"Give me a chance, I was twelve years old."

"At twelve, I could decide when and where I wanted to use my powers..."

"You were something else; I remember grandma always used to praise you and your control of your ability when the elders would talk about the teenagers of our city. You were her favourite, you know? I used to look up to you a lot as well, to me you were really cool, I guess I might have been influenced a bit by grandma..."

Xiumin snorted.

"I never really talked to your grand-mother but I remember she was pretty much the only elder that seemed to care. She would often smile at me. I always thought it was because we both controlled ice."

"Maybe there’s a bit of that," Chen laughed.

The older took his cup of coffee and drank again, his eyes diverting back to the scenery he had created. Chen used the silence to look around too. _How long has he been keeping this up? Isn’t he exhausted?_ He noticed that there was a little shop next to them managed by an old man. When he leaned back to look at the shop’s front roof and read the sign he understood that they sold drinks and pastries just like their own café.

"Why the market?" Chen asked.

It shocked the smaller at first but, nonetheless, he answered:

"I used to come here often with mom and dad...We would get coffee here...Well, I would get a pastry for myself and they would get coffees but they always let me have some of it."

"Gē, are you feeling alright?"

Xiumin stared in his friend’s eyes. His worried eyebrows told him to tell the truth. He sighed:

"I miss them...Tomorrow’s going to be the third Christmas I didn’t spend with them and the only thing we’ll have is a Skype video..."

Chen stayed silent, listening.

"I don’t mean this as I’m tired of living in Japan with the pack...I enjoy my life but I still wish I could hug my parents again and maybe go back in the market and share coffee with them, this time buying my own cup."

"Mmh...I get what you mean."

Chen’s eyes stayed on the floor while Xiumin’s watched the winter decor he was slowly making disappear. The absence of words helped them reflect on the ones that had just been spoken.

"If you want we could go for next year’s Christmas?" The younger proposed after a long moment. "I’d like to see my family too, visit grandma’s grave and maybe see the guys too, it’s been a while after all..."

The older’s smile was faint but it was still noticeable.

"Yeah. We could."

"The others don’t need to come if they don’t want to...We just need to start saving money."

"Yeah," Xiumin approved, slightly grinning.

The taller was glad to see his friend’s mood get better.

"And think of it that way: we’ll already have the food and the roof to live so it’ll be cheaper..."

"Yeah, that sounds like a nice plan."

"Think about it, we don’t need to talk about it with the leaders yet; I’ll check the prices for the flights and update you."

"Okay, thank you."

The only answer he got from Chen was a sincere smile.

 

 

 

 

"If there’s anything, we’ll be close by so don’t hesitate to call us," D.O told the four men when they arrived in front of the bar.

The walk had been awkward: they hadn’t talked. Maybe some direction indications once in a while were spoken but other than that, they remained silent. Of course, the fact that it was cold outside didn’t really encourage the conversation but only to walk faster.

Principally, the reason behind the uncomfortable atmosphere was the obvious tension between the youngest and oldest members of the small party and everyone being conscious of it, even the two in question. They had made sure to put distance between each other; Kai had walked with Sehun in the front, Chanyeol and Baekhyun following them and the two others had walked behind.

Bearing with the two of them had been really hard for the shape-shifters that were able to sense all their rage and remorse and especially for Chanyeol who had just been changed.

When they arrived at their destination and gathered to say a few words before parting, Luhan and Sehun weren’t even looking at each other.

"Even if Chanyeol is just feeling nauseous, okay?" D.O continued looking straight in Baekhyun’s eyes. The latter understood the meaning behind the younger’s words. He nodded.

After waving at the leaving duo, they entered the bar and Chanyeol automatically grimaced for the smell was bitter. Baekhyun turned to him: "This is going to be a long night for you," he said, pity on his face. Sehun frowned slightly, surprised by Chanyeol’s unusual reaction but let it pass. Instead, he joined Kai in his search of a familiar face. 

After a moment, they found their friends in the crowded room. Their small gathering of dancers had, thankfully, arrived earlier to claim a few tables further in. 

Sehun and Kai walked in the direction of the people that were making the most noise in the bar. Their eyes grew large and smiles wide as they noticed their friends coming their way. They screamed which made the row of person whose backs were facing the newcomers turn around.

Noting their arrival, one person stood up to meet with them: a pretty woman whose bright smile lifted her slightly pink cheeks. She had cute short hair with bangs covering her forehead, a skinny body that was covered warmly and comfortably according to the weather and, "Hi guys! You came!"  _A deep voice?_

The Caucasian looking girl that had been sitting to the person’s left laughed at their standing friend who hadn’t been this excited to see anyone else in their party and turned around, putting her attention back on the discussion they had previously been having. Already, the attention wasn’t on them anymore.

"Hey, Taemin!" Kai greeted him, amused by the other’s jolly mood.

"Oh! You’re Taemin!" Chanyeol understood. "Nice to meet you , I’m Chanyeol, he’s...Baekhyun."

Said man frowned at the hesitation in the taller man's voice.

"Hi, you two! It’s nice to meet other Koreans here," Taemin talked to Baekhyun who hummed awkwardly; he had still been thinking about his boyfriend’s naming hesitation.

"Please buy drinks from Ojii-san," he said referring to the bartender, "Busarakham said he would let us stay if we bought drinks and kick us out if we didn't since a few of us (me) aren't legally supposed to be here...So Busarakham promised him we would buy a lot so..."

"Boot..?" Chanyeol frowned.

"Mmh? Ah! Busarakham! Her!"

He pointed a slim and tanned woman that had western style makeup. She looked kind of annoyed at Taemin for two seconds before rolling her eyes and continuing her previous conversation with someone next to her. 

"She’s Thai," the boy explained. 

"Ah!"

"Every year it’s pretty much always only us the foreigners that stay here for the holidays and hang out together. The others all have partners..." He pouted. He seemed drunk already. 

His friends called them to sit down around the five joined tables and called a waiter to ask for two other bin biru. While Taemin had joined another conversation, Sehun and Kai explained them that they were only eight foreigners in total in the program. Apart from them and the thai girl they actually called Chloe and not her Thai name, there were two Chinese, a British and an American. At the table, they noted that one of the Chinese students had gone back in their homeland for the holidays replaced by another Chinese person who was friends with the one that had stayed. There was also one of the Japanese students that had preferred coming to their small drinking activity to staying alone or to going in their family that had brought a friend of the same nationality along.

They proceeded to do the presentations and the night went on with talks in Japanese, English and some Cantonese between the friend of the Chinese student and the British girl that had apparently been learning the language.

As it was to be expected from a gathering of drunk dancers in a bar, they ended up improvising themselves a dancing floor to the greatest entertainment of the other customers and worry of the waiters. Although they spilled some of their alcohol, thankfully no damages were made.

A bit past midnight, both of the Chinese were gone as well as the British girl and the shape-shifters watched as the energy seemed to slowly die down.

"It’s weird," Chanyeol had started.

"Mmh?" Baekhyun raised a brow, aware that nobody was paying attention to their conversation.

"Being sober in a bar."

"Indeed," Baekhyun snorted, "you’ll get used to it."

"I’m getting bored though...Plus drunk people are..."

"More annoying then you thought they would be, right?"

The taller man nodded, wincing as his head started pounding.

They noticed Taemin sitting at a bar next to a sleeping man after the Japanese student had dared him to talk to him. They watched as the man woke up and frowned at the younger’s presence. Soon enough, his expression turned to something more caring and he laughed at the Korean boy’s drunken cuteness.

Their attention turned to the American girl next to them who had whispered: "ship" and they missed how the man’s face grew serious as he looked in their direction. At Sehun and Kai's more precisely. Moreover, for some coincidental reason, the two young men were the only one to notice how the man’s smile had disappeared the moment his gaze had landed on them and how his jaw clenched.

Some glacial draught forced the both of them to sober up.

The man at the bar breathed in and looked back at their friend, smiling honestly. He put a hand on his shoulder and the movement was enough to pull the sleeve of his shirt back and show his tattooed wrist.

Visibly, the man had wanted them to see it and understand to whom this associated him but they didn’t know what to do of the information. Was it a warning? Obviously it was, but for what? Was he trying to tell them the twenty fourth of December would be their death anniversary? Was he letting them go for this time? Was he using Taemin’s life to threaten them? What was that supposed to mean?

"...let’s go outside a bit. Kai, Sehun, I’m taking Chanyeol outside for a bit," Baekhyun announced making the younger men share a distressed look, "he’s not feeling too well. Stay here and call us if there’s anything, we have our cellphones."

"O-okay..."

They walked out, the taller man leaning on his boyfriend, and the two younger heard their American colleague comment on how she was sure the two of them were dating and the friend of their Japanese colleague disagree:

"They don’t look weird," she had said.

"See," the American woman started raising her voice, "it’s because of people like you that it’s so fucking horrifying to come out of the closet."

With that, she started screaming at the Japanese girl who replied to her the same way. In a way, it reassured the Korean men; nobody would want to come near them with these two fuming women next to them.

However, dismay quickly made its way back in their minds as three tipsy men made their way in the bar. One had a familiar face while the other two were complete strangers. It was still enough to make the two Korean boys look at each other again, eyes big in terror; there was the man Kai had punched a few months back when they had been attacked.

The moment the men would see their faces they would recognize them. For now, their eyes were fixed on the alcohol behind the bar.

"What should we do?" The older boy asked.

"Let’s get out of here."

"Agreed."

"And call Chanyeol."

"Also agreed."

They turned to their friends who were still fighting and when they tried to bid them farewell they only waved them off, too occupied by their heated conversation.

As they made their way to the door, they saw the three man sit down around their colleague and although he noticed them leaving, he didn’t report it to them. _So he is letting us go. _

Not yet out of the bar, Kai grabbed his phone and signalled his best friend’s number.

 _"It’s Baekhyun,"_ said man answered.

"Hyung?"

 _"Chanyeol he..."_ There was faint sobbing in the background and Kai frowned. _"He isn’t feeling well. I’ll need to bring him back. Are you guys fine? Why did you call?"_

"Actually-"

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun grew worried as he heard Kai’s startled gasp on the other line followed by some ruffling. He changed the ear on which he was pressing the phone on and called out Kai’s name worriedly.

_"Aaaah, nice kid. Smart of you to close your phone when your senior wants to speak to you."_

Baekhyun only recognized the language the person was using - Japanese - and not his voice. Every sound on the other end was muffled and he was sure he wouldn’t have been able to hear anything if it hadn’t been for his acute audition.

_"That might explain why your hits are so weak; all strength went straight to your brain. I guess that can be good too. At least you didn’t end up like this stupid Mastuda who didn’t even think it was important to report seeing you; ‘aaah thought their faces were familiar hihi.’ Fucking drunkard. You should thank your cute friend later, he’s the one who gave you away. Now it’s time for us to rejoin. Mind going to some place...Calmer?"_

Baekhyun panicked. _Shit. They’re in danger._

He turned to his boyfriend who was trying to calm his crying down. He was leaning on a wall holding his belly and wincing in pain.

As soon as they had come out of the bar he had started breathing heavily. He had held onto his boyfriend’s shoulder, his eyes wondering around the city quickly but not really seeing anything. He had started tearing up and Baekhyun had led them further in Shinjuku, trying to find somewhere people wouldn’t look in case Chanyeol decided to shift in his wolf’s form. Soon enough, he was barely able to walk by himself, the sobbing too strong.

The older man had no idea he would’ve lead them this far.

"Baekhyun, you’re panicking, spill the tea." Said man was shocked by the younge man’s unusually blunt tone. "You’re not fun to be around when you’re holding everything in."

"Kai and Sehun..." The petite man hesitated, frightened by both the situation and his boyfriend’s attitude. "They’re in trouble," he revealed nonetheless.

"What?" The man growled. "I need to go help them! They need me!"

The older man's eyes grew wide as he saw his boyfriend slowly standing up and sensing in him rage.

 _"Yakusuni-dori? You have some things to buy at Don Quijote?"_ Baekhyun heard Kai's voice say, coming from the cellphone and it got his attention back. He heard the man he had assumed was a yakuza laugh and answer through gritted teeth:

_"You talk more than last time..."_

_"Since you came to chill at our place last time while we weren’t there, we assumed you wanted to be besties,"_ he heard Sehun reply, _"might as well learn to know each other...ugh?"_

_"Oooh, you’re a cocky kid, I like that."_

They were moving but Baekhyun could still hear what was going on which was good. He kept Chanyeol’s phone between his head and his shoulder and took his own out of his coat.

"I’ll call D.O and Luhan-hyung, tell them about the situation," he informed the taller.

They were quick to answer.

"We got ourselves in trouble," Baekhyun informed D.O as soon as he picked up the phone.

_"Where are you right now?"_

"I’m not too sure, I went out with Chanyeol because he wasn’t feeling well..."  _Right. I should’ve called sooner. I’m an idiot_ _._ "and Sehun and Kai got caught up in their yakuza thing."

_"Alright, we’re heading out of the restaurant, we’ll deal with this. You two head back home."_

"Okay."

_"Stay on the line with me for a bit."_

"Alright. We’re going," Baekhyun informed Chanyeol.

_"You found where they were?"_

"No, we’re going home," the smaller man answered after he understood his boyfriend was referring to his best friends.

"But I need to protect them!"

"D.O and Luhan hyung will do that!" Baekhyun tried to show as much authority as he could in both his voice and stature.

"But what if they fail?"

And for a split second, Baekhyun considered it. He realized how real the situation was. What if D.O and Luhan did fail?

 _"Tell Chanyeol that in his state it is more likely he’ll harm rather than help,"_ Baekhyun heard D.O say.

"Luhan hyung and D.O are both born shapeshifters that have control over their abilities. You don’t. And you could very much injure your friends," he spoke, reformulating D.O’s words.

The smaller man recognized that his boyfriend was trying to deal with the emotions he could sense from around the city as well as his own and he pitied him. He chose to use a softer voice:

"Let’s go."

Chanyeol nodded and they finally started walking. Baekhyun hoped he would know the way back enough not to get lost.

"D.O, last thing I heard they were on Yakusuni street."

_"Okay, thank you. Are you...On the phone with them?"_

"Yes. I think Kai didn’t close his phone properly and I can still hear everything."

_"Good for us."_

After a moment of paying attention to the sounds and trying to find his way back to the hangar, Baekhyun frowned.

"D.O, I hear a train."

_"Alright."_

Just as he told D.O he heard Kai talk on the other end: _"If you had planned to take the train you should’ve taken south first and passed by the small streets. You’re only extending your walk, you know?"_

"I wanted to spend more time with youuu, isn’t it reciprocal?"

"Of course..."

Baekhyun worried: "D.O? Where are you right now? They’re going to take the train!"

_"Calm down, Baekhyun."_

There was confusion on the other line and said man heard: _"Hey, you were heading the good way, why take an alley east?"_

_"Here is fine enough."_

The petite man stopped in his walk. There was a loud noise.

"D.O!"

His phone started beeping.

He looked at his dark screen for a moment, on the verge of crying.

He forced himself to breath in and out. This wasn’t how he should be reacting.

He gulped, put his phone back in his pocket and continued his way back home.

 

 

 

 

"You still haven’t learned, huh?"

"We don’t have the money!"

Kai yelled after spiting a tooth. _A tooth! He fucking..._ He grunted, annoyed.

"But you had a tv? You could have sold that." One of the two they hadn’t seen before said, punching him again. He was holding him against the wall by his colar.

They hadn’t hurt Sehun as much as they hurt him mostly because he had asked to take the hits instead of him. They had attached him to a random pole and forced him to sit down and to watch Kai getting beaten up.

He couldn’t really see anything for his face was swollen but he could hear the metallic clinking as Sehun struggled with his binds.

"What should we _do_ with you?" The man faked despair patting his bruised face. It stung even if it the gesture was delicate. Well, compared to what he had been going through, that is. "You won’t learn."

"We could just sell them," another one proposed.

"Good thinking, good thinking. That way the boss gets his money back."

"And they are goodlooking young men when their face aren’t puffy like this...They have potential."

"The simple solution would be to kill you, of course, the man had turned back to Kai, what would you like better? I suggest the first option, see, you stay alive in that one...Tired of talking? Hellooooo, is there still someone in there?"

Kai spit on him, the liquid thickly crimson.

He heard the man laugh.

"I’ll take that as a..."

"Watch out!"

One moment the man’s hand had been on his collar, the other it wasn’t. The only thing he had been able to see was a faint shadow in front of him.

He sighed. _They did come._

 

 

 

 

Sehun watched as his friend’s body fell to the ground, inert. He strived even more to free himself and to join the people he recognized as Luhan and D.O in their battle against the yakuzas.

However, they had used a cable tie to bind him so his objective was somewhat impossible if he wasn’t helped by scissors.

He attempted nonetheless watching the two fight against three and cherished that they seemed to have the upper hand.

Then one of them noticed something at the crossing of the street they were on and the bigger one and warned the others. Sehun turned his head only to see this young woman talking on the phone seemingly panicked and rejoiced himself. _She called the cops. Fucking thanks. I owe you my..._

"Fuck!" One the yakuzas yelled.

She ran away, alerted by the man’s swearing.

Sehun didn’t lose hope though. She had called the police and the yakuzas knew. It meant they would leave them and although he knew that didn’t mean they were done with them, they would still be able to bring Kai to the hospital and then head back to the pack.

He should thank D.O-hyung and Luhan-hyung later. God, he was so thankful they had arrived.

He should apologize to Luhan-hyung too for slut shaming him. He truly believed the man could do whatever he wanted with his life and he wanted to tell the older that. He wanted to explain himself. He wanted to talk to him and clarify a few things. Of course, he was also waiting for apologizes from him but he thought maybe they would only come if he triggered the conversation.

_We’ll see how it goes._

He noticed how one of the three yakuzas that wasn’t being dealt with by either of his hyungs turned to him and for a split second he wondered what was going on through the other’s head. What was he going to do of this situation?

He watched as the man unzipped his coat and got a gun out of it, pointed the barrel at him displaying it’s dark interior and pulled the trigger with seemingly not the slightest hesitation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next week, baba! <3


	26. The Truth is Often Harder to Believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for injury and mention of violence + You might not want to eat while reading this.

Baekhyun had, in the end, found his way home. When he had opened the door, Chanyeol had been leaning on him for support for a good fifteen minutes and, although it could seem like a short time, he was exhausted and very glad they had reached the hangar. Confusion had forced Chen and Xiumin to stay seated but when Baekhyun tripped they ran up to go help him.

"We’ll get him to your bed," the older Chinese man had declared taking Chanyeol off Baekhyun with Chen’s help.

"I can’t just go to bed!" The tall Korean man had replied, surprising the others.

"Get him on the couch," Baekhyun proposed as a compromise.

They had walked him to the piece of furniture his arms around their necks and helped him sit. As soon as Baekhyun had sat next to him, his boyfriend had changed position to lie down with his head on the smaller’s lap. He shut his eyes tightly and breathed in the other’s sent to calm down. The older lay a hand on his shoulder and used the other to pet his hair.

"Bringing him to a bar wasn’t a good idea," Baekhyun tried to humour the situation but the Chinese men had sensed his helpless state. There was definitely more to it than Chanyeol feeling feeble.

"Did something happen at the bar?" Chen had asked and, as Baekhyun took time to answer, he explained: "You look...Nervous..."

The tension in the air was palpable as Baekhyun looked for his words:

"We...Went to take a walk because Chanyeol wasn’t feeling well and...I thought everything would be fine because Sehun and Kai were with other people and like we were many, they weren’t alone but...No."

The talking man could sense worry creeping to his friends’ hearts and he wished he would find the strength in him to appease them but he couldn’t. Nonetheless he tried his best not to panic.

"They called us because they had trouble with the yakuzas again and...I called D.O and Luhan and they are supposed to have gone to help them but I lost contact with them before they arrived and..."

He stopped himself: "There’s no ‘and’, that’s what happened."

The smaller put his concentration on patting his boyfriend’s dark locks.

"So...D.O and Luhan are supposed to be with them now?" Chen spoke.

"Maybe...I can’t know for sure."

"But there is still a high chance that they are, don’t forget that. And if indeed they are, you can be sure they’ll protect Sehun and Kai with all their might."

"Yeah..."

His eyes were still on his boyfriend without actually seeing him. He could only see his own thoughts, numerous and frightening.

"We should maybe go wake the leaders up..." Chen suggested which got Baekhyun’s attention up to him.

"No!"

The two Chinese men that were turned to one another to discuss the proposition frowned and looked at the Korean, startled by his scream.

"They won’t let us go outside anymore," Baekhyun explained.

"It’s not like they can forbid anyone from leaving the hangar, Baekhyun," Xiumin claimed, "they have no authority on you."

"But they’ll...Because I failed..."

"What are you on about?" Chen input. "You didn’t fail anything."

"It’s not your fault Kai and Sehun got attacked by yakuzas," Xiumin added.

"No but I could’ve prevented the situation from getting worse by calling D.O and Luhan earlier like they told me."

"You still called them in the end," Xiumin replied.

"But too late," the Korean man argued.

"We don’t know that yet," Chen affirmed.

A part of Baekhyun wanted to listen to his friend – _he’s right –,_ but such a goal was hard for him to achieve.

It became even harder when, pushing the door open, D.O came in with only a barely recognizable Kai following him. _Where are the others? Where are Sehun and Luhan?_

Chanyeol stayed lying unconscious on his lap reminding him he needed to stay calm.

The bruised man walked to the couch and dropped on it, sighing as he did so. He let his head fall on the backrest and closed his eyes. He was visibly exhausted but what caught Baekhyun’s attention were the tears threatening to fall down his cheeks.

However, he didn’t jump to conclusions on the spot. He concentrated on the human’s feelings; maybe could he get an answer to his questions that way, but there was nothing there he was able to interpret.

It wasn’t like Kai wasn’t feeling anything, rather, to the shape-shifters, it felt like he was feeling too much and they couldn’t process all the information. Nonetheless, they could perceive how their wolves were agitated and that wasn’t reassuring at all.

"Do you want anything?" D.O had asked to the wounded sitting man. "Do you want a glass of water or something?"

"No, thank you, D.O."

Said man smiled honestly, a tint of pity in his eyes: "Okay, I’ll go get Lay so he can tend to your wounds," he declared, walking to the stairs.

Xiumin and Chen had noticed how the two had dropped formalities and they would’ve most likely used it as a teasing opportunity if the atmosphere hadn’t been so heavy.

They watched as the younger’s expression which had been getting calmer grew tensed again. He opened his eyes, first looking at the high ceiling to then switch his gaze to Baekhyun and to his sleeping friend in his lap.

"What’s up with him by the way?" He spoke.

"Ah? Oh...Chanyeol? He...Is feeling sick."

He wasn’t sure if Kai’s reaction was a confused frown or a pained wince. Maybe a bit of both.

"Is he like you?"

Baekhyun gave a quick look to Chen and Xiumin. _Is he asking what I think he’s asking?_

"What do you mean?" The other wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

"Hum...Is he a shapeshifter too? That’s the...Term, right? The correct one..."

"Eh..."

His eyes went from his friends to Kai and from Kai to his friends rapidly looking for a way to answer. "How do you..?" Were the only words he could find.

"Luhan did...Something weird. D.O explained me you could have powers too...I didn’t know."

It felt like they had betrayed him by not telling him the truth earlier.

"He is," Xiumin had answered for the younger, "at least now he is."

"That’s a relief...We were starting to think Chanyeol had a disease or something."

"No, he doesn’t. It’s just new for him," Xiumin explained calmly.

"I see."

"Sorry, you should’ve known earlier."

"Oh no, it’s fine. We knew."

"You knew?"

"Let’s just say we had our doubts for a while. From the beginning, when Chanyeol came back and started referring to you as the ‘pack’ that lives in a hangar we          started thinking you guys were quite weird. Then we met you guys and you were strangely strong and talked about ‘having wolves’. Plus, Chanyeol told us you          had a dog but then when we arrived there was no dog until a few days ago when _two_ dogs suddenly appeared and disappeared out of nowhere...We knew there          was something we just weren’t sure what it was and what it implied. But you being shapeshifters seems like the logical explanation so I’ll believe it. That whole ‘we separate the bottoms from the tops’ thing was also quite suspicious."

The others were baffled and Kai thought it was funny. _Did you really think you were being subtle?_

"It’s not like it’s very surprising for me to know," the youngest in the room commented, "we talk about it all the time at school. So much that it went from a mere urban legend to a rumour everyone acknowledges as true."

"You don’t...Fear us?" Baekhyun spoke hesitantly.

"Chanyeol did?"

"No, he..."

_"You’re just different."_

  
"He thought we were simply different from the people he usually met."

"Mmh, I don’t feel any different. And you were always nice to us so why should that change?"

They were glad he was able to react with positivity and openness to the news and also felt liberated by the burden of secrecy. The younger’s face reflected the feelings he advanced; friendly and slightly mocking. It really felt like he was telling them they were stupid for thinking that way and although one might get upset by such an attitude, they didn’t. They appreciated the moment until its last second: when Kai’s expression got dark and serious.

"Sehun...He..."

With only a shaking chin as a warning, he bent forward and emptied his stomach on the floor between the couches, surprising the others. They all retreated their feet on the couches and, as Baekhyun did so, Chanyeol woke up.

They took a few seconds to process what had just happened. A few seconds before, Kai had been totally fine, not showing symptoms of any sickness, looking perfectly sober. Why all of a sudden..?

Xiumin had been the first one to react when the Korean boy didn’t budge. He leaned in and, placing a hand on the other’s back, looked at the other’s face. His eyes were closed. He swore internally, not wanting to panic the others; Lay was already coming downstairs after all.

Chen followed. Hesitantly, he announced that he would get the mop.

Going up the stairs he passed by Lay and D.O and informed them of the situation. Hearing what happened, Lay frowned and quickly walked to the hangar.

The oldest had helped Kai sitting once again and made him lean on the backrest. He understood that hadn’t been a good idea when the younger started vomiting on himself and choking on said regurgitation. Powerless, Xiumin looked up at the healer hurrying their way

The latter didn’t wait any second to grab the dancer’s forehead forcing his skull tightly close to his chest and put the other hand on Kai’s shoulder.

He inspected his body. Bellow his neck nothing seemed to have received any grave injuries. He could see his stomach and solar plexus area had received a few hits from the inconsequential hematoma there. _It’ll heal on its own eventually._ The real problem had been everything over his shoulders: yes, visibly he was bruised all over the face and, later, he had been able to notice his slightly displaced jaw and few broken teeth, but there was more to it.

He heard D.O speaking from behind him: "He only told me his head hurt..."

Lay wasn’t surprised. Looking at the younger man’s brain state he noticed a fluid, blood he thought, around the swelling organ. He had vaguely been told about such a phenomenon but it was the first time he had seen such a thing. _How many punches did he receive?_ There are questions he would rather remain unanswered.

"It’s fine, D.O," the healer spoke, "I’ll help him recover. He’ll be fine."

His tone was deprived of empathy but still, it reassured the younger.

"What happened to him?" Chanyeol wondered, confused and worried a few moments after he had woken up.

D.O just looked at him, trying to keep a composed expression. _Should I tell him?_

 

 

 

 

It was as if his whole body had just given up. Something inside him wanted to explode. He wanted to yell. He wished to cry. He was terrified. Why was he terrified? What did he fear? He thought it might be the alarm of these men that frightened him but no. _No,_ it was too close to him. Too close to his being.

The hold he had on the yakuza’s arm loosened but the man didn’t have a second to think of freedom as a gunshot was heard just as Luhan turned around. Everyone else halted.

D.O quickly searched for the source of the deafening sound. As soon as his eyes had met the weapon, they diverted to its target and his stomach dropped seeing Sehun. While he searched for a wound on the younger’s body _did he get hit?_ no air would get to his lungs. From where he stood he couldn’t see Sehun’s body, hidden within the shadows, but he had heard someone screaming in agony and that wasn’t anything to reassure him.

The yakuza men left running, taking the shape-shifters’ inadvertence as means of evasion. D.O watched them escape and before he could see them turn the corner of the alley, he ran to Sehun.

He fell on his knees next to him, inspecting his body, to then look at his face, in his eyes. The boy was holding his breath in. His eyebrows were twitching into frowns and his eyes were open wide, staring in the void. He was ignoring his entourage, too concerned by something else to even notice D.O’s presence.

The latter was panicking while he looked for the reason of the other’s absence. He looked for a wound although he hoped not to find one. He searched for a pool of blood, for a potential crimson direction to a way to help.

"Sehun? Do you hear me, Sehun? Help me. Does it hurt anywhere?"

The older consulted Luhan, maybe he would see something he himself didn’t notice but the man wouldn’t be of any help, he had understood quickly. The deer’s expression was similar to Sehun’s: mindlessly standing in the middle of the alley.

"What the..."

D.O’s attention was brought back to Sehun as he spoke. The boy now looked more confused than shocked. He still stared in the same direction but now he actually seemed to be looking at something. The shape-shifter decided to follow his gaze.

His whole body eased up seeing the object of Sehun’s contemplation. Was it relief or was it consternation, he didn’t know; the only thing he observed was the bullet floating a few feet in front of the younger, aimed to hit his chest.

The shape-shifter leaned forward to touch it lightly and it fell to the ground accompanied of a few acute noises that made everyone around jolt.

His gaze landed on Luhan, conscious that he had been the one to stop the bullet. The latter, whose consciousness had returned, quickly took a step backwards, repentant.

"I..." He started but D.O cut him, understanding what was going on through the other’s head:

"It’s alright, hyung. You saved him...We’ll only have a bit of explaining to do, that’s all."

_You don’t need to apologize when this is the reason you revealed your power, hyung. _

Seeing the older straighten up, he understood he could take care of something else.

He diverted his attention to Kai, lying on the ground. He was holding his upper body off the concrete, attentive to the happenings. His arms were trembling; concern was his only strength, the only thing that motivated him to fight the exhaustion in his body.

After meeting with D.O’s eyes, the younger surrendered. He dropped to the ground and turned on his back. He winced when he posed two gentle fingertips on his bruised face and decided he would just leave his arms above his head. The shape-shifter heard him sigh.

_We should get him to Lay._

Turning to Luhan to share his thoughts he came to a halt. Something in the concerned focus the older had on Sehun reminded him of the tormented cry he had heard earlier.

_It wasn’t Sehun...It was you._

He came to the realization that the emotions he had sensed earlier - before the gunshot had been heard and when the older had suddenly stopped moving -, emotions he had concluded belonged to Sehun, were no other’s than Luhan’s.

He remembered that day, two years before then, the day of Suho’s and his’ departure for Japan. They had been supposed to leave with the mate of their old pack’s leader for their relationship had only been getting more and more abusive. They had planned to leave before her; she would have found an excuse to leave the house like going to buy a packet of cigarettes, and they would have left together without a notice. However, when the leader would do his farewell speech to them, she would stay right by his side, as per usual.

The plan would have worked if it hadn’t been for Jung Ho. Somehow, D.O had been the only one to notice when he had started making her uncomfortable by enlacing her - standing behind the kitchen chair she had been sitting on - and letting his fingertips travel a bit everywhere over her arms and torso.

The man had only just joined the pack a few weeks before when their leader had found him. “Human in a shape-shifter body”, he had called him and had decided he would take him in to teach him their ways since it had visibly not been done before; he couldn’t control himself properly. The other members, including D.O himself, had helped to make him discover all the terms and all the technicalities his human adoptive parents didn’t have the knowledge to explain.

In front of his eyes, back then, D.O had the proof that a few weeks couldn’t replace a whole life.

The travelling hands, alike to those of a drunkard, continued and continued until the woman - her eyes humid - had pushed them away while lowering her head. She had only looked back up again when the man, now fuming, had gotten around the chair and gripped her jaw. Her eyes had been those of frightened animal. «You dare to refuse me! » He had yelled through gritted teeth. He had hit her.

That was when D.O had heard the cry of despair from his past leader. He had spent close to two years thinking that it had been voiced out when in truth it had always been in his head.

Their friend had died there, the punch knocking her unconscious to then take her life away quickly after, their healer unable to do anything about it.

He still remembered very clearly how their leader had looked at Jung Ho - imposing in his built and height while the other seemed child-like with his lowered head but angry eyes - to then growl at him, his eyes red: "You killed my mate?"

Everyone else was silent, too shocked by the happenings to even blink.

"She was refusing me," the other had replied slightly hesitant.

The leader had turned into his bull form, furious, and flipped the table of his kitchen along with the chairs surrounding it with his left horn and perforating the wall that delimited the room with his right one before carving his way to the other man’s entrails with the latter. Blood dripped to the ground while the impaled man struggled in the hope of getting the sharp bone out of his core. His hands, his feet, his face, his entire body would twitch and switch into his wolf form and then back to his human one desperately trying to find a way to diminish the pain.

To no avail.

D.O had felt Suho grab him and quickly bring them outside of the house knowing very well the situation could’ve turned dangerous for them too. As they were closing the door they had heard the leader’s roar: "Find me his mate!" It had only took Suho a second to think of Baekhyun and pronounce his name which confused the still shaken D.O. "We need to get to him before them." The older had explained followed by: "We’ll bring him with us." The younger only confusedly followed while they carried on with the other’s plan.

He diverted his gaze to Kai who was already looking at him. In his exhaustion, the boy designed both Sehun and Luhan with his head after making sure he had gotten D.O’s attention. After following the younger’s line of sight, he frowned slightly. _Yeah...I guess I could just leave them together._

He sighed.

"Luhan," D.O called startling the younger. "I’ll go back with Kai, you two join us when you’re ready, okay?"

"Ah...Yeah, sure."

"Okay."

He walked to the injured man and delicately helped him up.

From where he was, Luhan could see Kai’s playful yet tired smile as D.O worried about his condition.

After they turned a corner, leaving the alley, the deer diverted his attention back to the bounded boy.

There was an awkward tension between them that was supported by silence. At that moment, he might have been the only one to notice it as Sehun seemed rather absent but it still left him fidgeting nervously a few feet away from him. _What am I supposed to do?_

"I..." He started, getting closer to the younger but his words got caught up in his throat. He breathed in: "I’ll help you get rid of this," he declared and went on with leaning beside the other, starting to pull on his restraints.

He got no answer from the Korean boy.

After pulling and clawing the binds for a good minute and realising it wouldn’t be effective, Luhan decided to move on to using his powers. There was nothing left to hide anyway.

"So," Sehun started, making the other halt, "who stopped the bullet? Was it you?"

"...Yeah."

The deer continued working on breaking or at least loosening the other’s hindrance.

"You have incredible reflexes."

Another halt.

He stood up:

"This isn’t working. Stay here. I’ll...Go get something to cut it. I’ll be back."

"I can’t really move anyway."

With that, the older left only to come back a few minutes later with a pair of scissors.

"Where d’you get those?"

"I asked."

"Oh."

Hearing the police sirens in the distance, Luhan knew he had to hurry up. As soon as the cable tie was cut, he helped Sehun up. The host was cautious enough to pick up the ammo and bring it with him so he could throw it away along with the cable tie in a garbage can further away. They hurried outside the alley. They did their best not to get noticed when the police car passed by them and entered the store where Luhan had borrowed the scissors. As soon as the object was returned, they went back out and took the big street to make their way back to the hangar.

Their movements were quiet; Sehun conscious yet not really and Luhan preoccupied by what he had felt and what it meant, lost in his thoughts.

The latter wasn’t stupid. He was quick to understand the younger was his mate and whether he liked the idea or not he had to accept it. _It’s God’s will, I can’t do anything about that._ He could only move forward keeping that knowledge in mind. However, that piece of information came with so many other thoughts and responsibilities; he didn’t really know what to do. They would have to talk about it someday. Then when? And how? He should probably tell him about shape-shifters, _he must be weirded out._ Then again, he was probably still in shock, maybe the best was to avoid the topic. After all, he could have died there _no, not true. He would have been critically injured yes, but we would have found a way to help him. It was only a bullet shot by a human yakuza, Lay could have done something about it. It would’ve healed._

He sighed and glanced at Sehun walking next to him. His darkened expression was illuminated by the city’s gleam.

Their relationship had such a bad start. The shape-shifter had been so mean to him. It hadn’t been necessary. They needed to talk, that’s one thing he knew. Luhan didn’t want to reveal to the boy that he was his mate - he already had a lot to process, the deer didn’t want to add anything to that for now – but he wished to try and make things better. He would just have to apologize, then at least the atmosphere between them would _hopefully_ stop being cold and awkward as it was at that moment. Afterwards, they could try to learn more of the other and learn to appreciate one another.

But maybe that could wait. _Give the kid a break, he must be traumatized._ Then, should he say something or would it be better to remain quiet?

He tried to keep his anxious breathing unnoticed by the other. He was getting annoyed by his inability to find what he should do.

He noticed a street he knew well which gave him an idea. Following his instincts he spoke:

"Hey, mind doing a detour? I’m thirsty."

"Sorry, I think I’ll be done with bars for a while."

"It’s not a bar, I promise. Come."

He grabbed the other’s hand and automatically released it. _Are you stupid or what?_ He smiled clumsily at Sehun’s eyebrow raise. _What a good start._ He simply designed the street with his head, signing the younger to follow.

Although the lights of Yakusuni-dori still illuminated the street, it was darker there; the atmosphere a bit cosier. As they walked further in, there were less and less bright posters and only small and dimmer shop notices.

"Here." The older opened the glass door and entered the building. He smiled seeing Sehun lick his lips at the shop’s sweet and delicate smell.

"If you want anything, it’s my treat okay?"

"Okay."

"I’m taking bubble tea; I know you don’t like taro but do you want to try another flavour?"

The cashier who was sitting at a table with her friends stood up and joined their conversation, making her way back behind the counter:

"You haven’t found the right one yet?" She asked confusing Sehun. As he didn’t give a reply, she clarified: "Bubble tea."

"Ah. Hum, no, I guess," he scoffed.

"I’ll help you." She smiled and her confidence perturbed the both of them.

Her two friends laughed at their table and both Luhan and Sehun looked back only to return their gaze to the young cashier who now had her elbows on the counter, staring closely at the Korean man. She seemed very concentrated analysing the other’s eyes like she was scanning his soul or something. Her expression slowly changed, first it was concerned and then a smile made its way on her face, very cat like.

"Aw," she purred, "I think I know. Choco?" She turned around already preparing a cup. "You aren’t allergic, are you?"

"Hum...no."

"That’s good. Taro for you?"

"Ah, yes please."

"Okay," she beamed, "tapioca in both I’m guessing?'

"Yeah...Thank you."

After paying, they were quick to leave, disturbed by their experience.

"Sorry," Luhan spoke, once outside, "I’ve never been served by her before..."

"It’s fine, she was funny."

"I’m glad you think so. Do you mind if we sit somewhere to drink it?"

"If you find a bench."

"Right."

They did find a place to sit after a good ten minutes. Once sitting, Luhan looked at Sehun expectantly and pointed his bubble tea. The younger took a sip. He nodded his head repeatedly:

"She was right: I do like chocolate." He took another. "I really like it."

"I’m glad." Luhan smiled.

He waited a moment, drinking a bit of his own tea, before he continued:

"I wanted to apologize. The other day...I shouldn’t have said what I said and moreover I shouldn’t have slapped you..." He sighed. "I was feeling unwell that day and I took it out on you. Sorry."

Sehun drank while he looked and listened at the older. The latter stared straight into his eyes, determined to show that he regretted his actions.

The younger exhaled.

"I’m not mad at you and if anything I deserved that slap. I knew you were already having a bad...Few days so I didn’t really hold it against you although I do accept your apology."

"I don’t want you to think I hate you, alright? Because I don’t. I know you are a very nice person and I should have helped you instead of yelling at you. It must           have been a shock after all, you must have questioned yourself a lot..."

The younger frowned.

"What?"

"Hum..."  _Shit. "_ Did I say something wrong?"

"No, just, what shock?"

"...Liking...Me?" Luhan hesitated.

"Oh! No, not really."

"You...Liked other men before?"

"No, but I figured that it didn’t really matter. I mean at first I only thought you were really pretty and it would be stupid to just put rules on what we can find                  beautiful or not based on social norms, no? It would be stupid to try to control something we can’t even put in words."

"Oh. I...I guess."

"Then, I met you and yeah...It pretty much goes with the same logic."

They both looked away, the light emotions the younger had insinuated, heavy in the air.

"I don’t look down on your line of work." Sehun spoke; the subject of sex seemed easier, less personal, than the one of love. "It’s fine really, I didn’t mean it as something bad back then. I was just angry because you kept calling me a teen."

"Sorry about that, you _are_  a teen for me. You are my...'kouhai'? My little brother I don’t know how you say it in Korean - someone that is younger than me?"

"Dongsaeng."

"Mmh. You are that, my _dongsaeng_. Obviously, I would want to teach you lessons, although I can see that you are already very mature. I just didn’t use the              good technique. Still...Listen, I know in animes it seems acceptable but stalking the person you like is really something you shouldn’t do."

Sehun sighed.

"Yeah. I _know_. I’m not Chanyeol. That day I thought you were sleep walking so I followed you, that’s why."

"That’s why?"

"Yeah, it was just a misunderstanding."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Oh god, I’m so sorry."

Sehun couldn’t help but giggle. He drank before talking furthermore.

"It’s fine I said. It’s behind us now, yeah?"

"Yeah."

The younger chuckled once again and his beam was contagious.

"Plus, I got to find out that you got a firm grip. Is this like your amazing reflexes that can stop a bullet from flying right into my chest? Does it come with the ‘I can change into a wolf’ thingie?"

Luhan didn’t know what to answer to that. First, there was something in the way Sehun joked about his near death experience that pained him and second, he wondered how he had figured out they were shape-shifters. He stayed silent, his mouth ajar twitching while he tried to find words and his eyes, concerned, wondered to the ground for explanations.

"I didn’t think it could actually be true until I saw that bullet floating in the air like gravity was just some irrelevant concept."

"What...Made you realize?"

"It was mostly Kai for real. He’s the one that collected the details that built our theory."

"Alright..."

"So? Is it?"

"Yeah, I do have enhanced strength and reflexes thanks to being a shapeshifter."

"And I’m guessing that’s how you call yourselves."

Luhan nodded.

"Although I don’t change in a wolf," said man seemed fit to mention, "I’m a deer shape-shifter so..."

"You change in a deer."

Sehun frowned, processing the information and Luhan hummed affirmatively.

"And you control metal? Like Magneto?"

The older’s laugh pleased Sehun although in a way he felt mocked.

"No, no." The Chinese man answered. _God, he’s so innocent. "_ I’m not like Magneto. I’m a telekinetic; I can control objects in general."

"So you are stronger than Magneto?"

"Wow there, I’m not that powerful."

"Because you have a limit?"

"Of course I have a limit!"

Luhan snickered. Seeing the younger’s confusion he explained:

"It’s kind of like muscles...You need to train it, to get yourself used to the effort. Think of it, if you had just started to go to the gym and decided you would lift a weight of a hundred kilograms by yourself, you would break. Our powers are kind of muscles too, they are part of us and if we push them too hard...We break."

"You could die from overusing your power?" Sehun frowned.

"Yeah."

"Holy shit."

 "It usually doesn’t go that far, seriously. You would need to have an amazingly strong mind to push yourself to the point of killing yourself. Usually your body              shuts off before you can harm it furthermore."

"Okay but, if you trained, do you think you could eventually be able to beat him?"

"Sehun, contrary to you, I have a life."

"In situations like this, the question you need to ask yourself is: is that life really worth not trying to overcome a powerful villain that harms the vulnerable?"

The older burst out. _I can’t believe this kid._

"Mmh?" Sehun pursued.

"I guess I could, with a lot of training," the Chinese man answered, "but Xiumin would probably be able to beat him faster. Him or Lay. They both work so hard to          improve their abilities yet nobody ever noticed. They deserved more attention."

"But you noticed."

"Of course, but I’m their friend. I just think it would be nice for them to get their efforts recognized by someone from the outside, a stranger. But I know it’s not            their goal to get attention so it’s fine. They work hard because they want to. For themselves."

"Yeah, I get what you mean...What do they do?"

"Xiumin and Lay?"

"Yeah."

"As in their powers?"

The younger hummed.

"Xiumin can control ice and Lay is a healer."

"A healer? Then, why did you say he could beat Magneto? By healing his mental problems?"

"Well, that’s an idea," Luhan beamed, "but no. I was thinking...Lay can control the particles of one’s body. So, technically, he could kill him from inside. But now that I talk about it, I realise he’s most likely way too caring; he probably would never be able to kill anyone so never mind."

"And Xiumin would?"

"Don’t piss the guy off."

"Understood," Sehun shrank.

"I’m joking, I don’t think he would either. Who would anyway?"

He went pale realising what he had said. He watched as Sehun’s eyes went to the ground as well as his beam.

"Oh my god, Sehun I’m so sorry. That was..."

"It’s fine. It doesn’t seem to get in my head either...I can’t realize I could’ve been shot there. It seems...Way further from reality than magical creatures                      themselves."

Luhan wanted to argue that they weren’t magical beings like the younger had said but he restrained himself. _Now is not the time._ Instead, he closed the distance that had separated them on the bench, mirror of their relationship, and posed a careful hand on the other’s back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M BAAAACK!!! oups? Okay guys I'm so so so sorry I know I said one week but like we moved out and then I wasn't able to write and then I worked in a camp for a week (which hadn't been planned) and then I came back and wasn't really able to write again but still was able to finish the chapter (yey me!). Anyway, gomen :S And the worst part in that is that I ended the other one on a cliff hanger x) I feel so bad but hey, I'm back now and will try to update soon but I won't promise anything this time x)
> 
> (On another note: OKAY BUT TAEMIN RELEASED A NEW SONG AND I WASN'T READY ?!?!?! AND THEN THERE'S EXO'S COMEBACK COMING!?!?! AND MINSEOK DOING A COLLAB WITH MARK?%??) 
> 
> Thank you for your support, for reading this, for posting comments, it means a lot. I love you guys <3   
> 
> (also I usually posted notes at the end of my chapters on aff so now that all the chapters I had already written are posted I'll be starting to add some on here :) )


	27. Alone Until You Ask

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for mention of violence and mention of injury.

Luhan slid the door to the hangar open for him and he thanked him quietly, already fitting the atmosphere of the room he entered. He felt the gazes of the members pose on him, turning their heads in a worried welcome.

He didn’t really pay attention to any of them except maybe Chanyeol and Kai, the only two smiling. He was glad to see the latter’s face wasn’t as swollen as he thought it would have been. He walked to him knowing Luhan wanted to make sure he was okay before he would leave his side. It could have been cute but Sehun didn’t want to be taken care of at that moment.

He went to lean on the couch Kai had been sitting on. Lay next to him was still treating his wounds.

"Lay-hyung did a good job," he started, "you look even more handsome than before."

"Ugh, shut up," Kai replied, laughing. Chanyeol joined in the joyful action.

It disrupted the others to see the two youngest could joke around so early after the previous events.

"I’m guessing you explained," Chen declared, turning his head to where Luhan was standing behind the couch. The latter gave a faint nod as an answer. "How much did you tell?"

"Not much," the deer replied.

"How come you’re in your boxers by the way?" Sehun asked his friend. "You were feeling confident?"

"Nah dude, I puked."

"Ew. You puked on yourself?"

"Yeah, D.O’s washing my clothes right now."

That explained Luhan why he hadn’t seen him since they arrived.

"He puked on the floor too," Chanyeol added, "and passed out."

"Concussion," Kai explained, pointing his head.

Passing his gaze from Chanyeol to the latter, the younger’s eyes stopped on Baekhyun. He stared at him for a moment, squinting, his expression thoughtful. It left the other clearly anxious and the rest of the people in the room, uncomfortable. It was only when the younger finally spoke that the petite shape-shifter was able to understand what was going on through the other’s mind, to his greatest embarrassment:

"Your power is light, right? That would explain why that lamp suddenly burned-out the first time you came at our place."

At first the petite man had been confused; however, comprehension was quick to make its way into Baekhyun’s mind, forcing his jaw to drop and his cheeks to bloom. _Oh my god, I didn’t..._

There was that teasing expression creeping on Sehun’s face as his darker friend next to him burst out laughing.

"Nice guess," Xiumin praised the youngest, impressed. It seemed there were, sadly, only three people in the room that understood the origin of said guess, its creator included.

"What are you guys on about?" Chanyeol frowned. "I don’t remember a light popping."

"That’s because you were occupied," Sehun smirked.

Chanyeol’s frown and Baekhyun’s blush deepened. The taller turned to look at his boyfriend while said man diverted his gaze to avoid the other.

With Lay stopping Kai’s healing to glance at Baekhyun, all eyes were on the couple. Chen was the first one to comprehend: "Oh. My god." The flustered man took a deep breath and pressed his lips in a thin line as he heard his friend. "And you dared to tell me you didn’t like it!"

"You burned-out a light bulb involuntarily," Lay spoke in utter amazement.

Chen hadn’t been the only one to understand.

"Are they talking about..." Chanyeol confusedly voiced.

"Yes, Chanyeol," came Baekhyun’s frustrated reply before the other could even finish his sentence.

The taller couldn’t suppress his smile, proud to hear the anecdote.

"So you guys all have powers?" The merciful Kai came to the rescue, trying to change the subject but still laughing as he spoke.

"Yeah we do," Luhan and Xiumin answered simultaneously, the others too occupied with their giggles to answer.

The coinciding response surprised Kai but not the pack members who were used to it.

"So who has...What?"

"I can control ice," Xiumin explained, "Lay you know, Luhan controls objects, Chen controls storms, you guessed for Baekhyun, Chanyeol can control fire-"

"Wow! Fire? Dude, nice." Kai exclaimed.

The mentioned Korean man showed off his white teeth.

"Wait. You shift too?" Sehun stopped them, a finger in the air.

"Ah, yeah. They..." He looked for the word and, unsure, he finished his sentence: "Transformed me..."

"Oh."

Sehun put his finger down. He was quick to dismiss the revelation.  

Chen finished with the remaining and then sleeping members.

When he was done, Baekhyun surprised them by standing up, stating he was going to bed. He passed in front of his boyfriend without even glancing at him and Chanyeol knew something was up. _I’m not stupid._ The thing was: he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do.

He stayed sitting for a few seconds, hesitating between following him and staying, before turning to Chen for help. It seemed like he would know. He signed him to go with the first option with a confident head indication. Immediately, the taller hurried behind his boyfriend, careful not to make too much noise running up the stairs. It left the Chinese man amused.

D.O came down and, pointing to the stairs he inquired: "What’s up with Baekhyun?"

"Let’s just say one of his embarrassing secrets came out," Chen jested sharing a knowing look with the two youngest.

D.O simply frowned: "You guys are weird." He changed the subject: "Kai, your clothes are drying."

“Ah, thanks, D.O.”

When said man sat down the younger turned to Lay: "Hey, hyung. I think you’ve done enough. I’ll go take a shower and go to bed; the rest will heal on its own."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it’s fine."

The tanned man giggled at the older’s worry. He stood up:

"Goodnight," he bid the others.

"I’m coming too," Sehun declared, "I’ll take a shower after you."

"Sure. ‘Kay, goodnight guys!"

Just before entering the staircase Kai turned around: "Oh and, I forgot, merry Christmas."

With that he was out of the room not realising the shock he had given everyone. They had forgotten: it was Christmas day.

It made Luhan realise the events had made him blind and deaf to his surroundings. He remembered, now, the festive decorations in the city’s streets and in the bubble tea shop as well as the waiting maid’s farewell to them. _Fuck, I completely ignored her. She wished us a “Merry Christmas” and I ignored her. I must’ve looked like an ass..._

"Right...It’s Christmas," came Chen’s voice, "do you know what that means?"

"That Jesus was born," Xiumin asserted.

"No. That my first Christmas activity this year was to clean up puke."

Xiumin scoffed. Luhan came to sit on the couch in front of them. His friend watched him; his expression was pale and unsettled. He was scratching his arm, sign that he was uncomfortable.

"Sehun and you...You’re good, right?" The Chinese bun questioned and the other man looked up.

"Ah...Yes, we’re good."

"Good. I don’t think Suho’ll ever allow them to leave after what happened."

The eldest shared a look with Lay and took a deep breath. His thoughtful and agitated expression didn’t pass unnoticed by D.O.

"Is there something you aren’t telling us?" He inquired.

Another look to Lay who gave him a small cornered smile before looking to the ground. The older’s eyes did the same while he bit his bottom lip. He breathed in:

"We’re short on money," he explained, saddened by the topic. _The others have the right to know._ They stayed silent. "The café isn’t profitable enough and since a lot of us aren’t working the pack’s account is especially low."

"Can’t we find ways to make the café more profitable?" D.O wondered.

"We’re working on that," Xiumin replied.

"We’ll all be ready to go back to work at the end of the vacations so that’s not...," Chen wanted to reassure him but the other didn’t let him finish.

"Yeah, we thought of that."

Chen frowned. He spoke calmly knowing the man had already been down before the nights events even occurred: "Then, why are you anxious?"

"We had...Assumed that Chanyeol’s friend would’ve left when we built our budget."

"What does that mean?"

"That, knowing you guys would be back to work _and_ without Sehun and Kai being there, we would still be short on money."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Xiumin expired, "but we already thought of things in case this would happen. So no worries, okay?"

"You know you guys can discuss this kind of stuff with us, right?" D.O assured.

"Yes, that’s why I’m telling you. Suho didn’t want us to tell; you know him. You’re only eighteen. You’re his little brother; he doesn’t want to put too much on your shoulders.»

The younger hummed. For a moment, no words were articulated, making the air heavy. However, Luhan was quick to break the silence, voicing an option:

"I could take Sehun and Kai in?" He mumbled.

"What?"

His best friend raised an eyebrow.

"When I go back to work; they could come live with me."

"Luhan, I don’t want to be a pessimist but your spare room is kinda..."

"I have a futon."

The man was back to scratching his arm.

"I thought there weren't any mosquitoes in winter," the eldest hinted at his arm.

The deer looked at his arm and stopped his motion briefly before starting anew:

"The humidity is also very low."

"Luhan. I’m your best friend."

Said man looked down. He didn’t want to lie to his friend but he also didn’t want to tell him what made him nervous, especially not in front of the others.

"Sehun’s my mate," he muttered in the end.

Xiumin’s jaw dropped as well as Chen’s. Not what they thought this was about. D.O was the only one it didn’t seem to surprise.

It took the deer’s friend time to acknowledge the information.

"Oh," he finally voiced out, "alright...How did you...Find out?"

"When Sehun got shot..."

"Wait," Chen interrupted him, "he got shot?"

"They didn’t..?" Luhan turned to D.O. "You didn’t..?"

"No," Chen affirmed, "Kai passed out before he could say anything and after that we didn’t want to talk about it, you know?"

"Oh, yes, then; he got shot. I stopped the bullet before it could get to him."

"You stopped the bullet?" Chen gasped. "And you say that like you do it everyday..."

"That’s the weird thing Kai was referring to..." Lay commented.

"So, what happened?" Xiumin got them back on track.

"I don’t know I just...I’ll be cheesy and say that it felt like my world was going to stop. It..."

He wrinkled his eyebrows and shook his head, not finding any other words.

"I heard it," D.O articulated empathically. It made the others confused.

"Heard what?" Chen asked.

"He..."

Making eye-contact with Luhan, he changed his pronouns to speak directly to him:

"You screamed from inside."

"I what?"

"I don’t know what I heard, it was just...Extremely painful."

"That’s fucked up," Chen noted and D.O could only nod.

"Does Sehun know?" Lay asked.

"I didn’t want to tell him just yet but I will eventually."

He breathed in and straightened up.

"I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted," he declared.

"Wait!" D.O stopped him.

"What’s up?"

"Where are you sleeping?"

"In your room? Is that not fine?"

"Because Kris and Tao and Lay and Suho are sleeping together...Plus Chanyeol and Baekhyun are probably also going to sleep together...I was wondering where Sehun and Kai would sleep..."

"Can’t Sehun go sleep with Kai in Chen’s room?"

"I...Told Kai I would sleep with him."

"...Can’t Sehun sleep alone?"

"No."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No."

"Can’t one of you three sleep with him?"

"Fuck off," Chen opposed, "it’s been so long since I slept in my bed. If I have the opportunity to do so, I’ll take it."

"And _I_ will take this opportunity to be _alone_ with my bed."

"You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?"

"If you want to blame anyone, blame God," Xiumin retorted.

"Fine."

The deer turned around and left.

 

 

 

 

Sehun had known from the moment the older had told him they were sleeping together that it was against his will. Somehow, the others had probably drove Luhan to think that sharing a bed had been the only option left.

At first, the younger didn’t oppose to the idea. However, after only fifteen minutes of lying down, back facing the other, he felt like he maybe should’ve.

"You do know I’m not planning to jump you?" Sehun spoke.

When Luhan didn’t answer, he thought he might have only been paranoid and that the man had already fallen asleep.

That theory was soon dismissed:

"I know," the man answered softly.

He sounded sorry.

The human turned on his back to be able to see Luhan.

"Then, why are so apprehensive?"

"I’m not apprehensive. I just...Have stuff on my mind. But it’s fine, goodnight."

"You know I can simply go sleep on the couch, I don’t mind."

"But you can’t sleep by yourself."

"I _prefer_ sleeping with someone else. I won’t mind if it’s just for one night."

Luhan was silent once again probably pondering on the proposition.

"No, it’s fine," he finally spoke, "sleep here."

"You don’t have to be nice to me just because I like you, you know?"

The other turned around to look at him but Sehun continued: "You don’t owe me anything."

"Sehun, I know."

He turned his back to him once again. The Korean man assumed it meant good night so he imitated the older’s action. They were back to their initial position.

His eyes were close, thinking Luhan was back to sleep, when said man spoke up:

"I want to be nice to you because you are a nice person...I regret the things I said the other day but know I wasn’t in my right state of mind then. I can be sarcastic and blunt sometimes but to you I was simply mean. It wasn’t like me and I don’t want you to believe that I’m like that. I don’t want you to believe that’s how I felt towards you because it isn’t."

"You would have the right to be annoyed."

"But I am not!" He turned slightly, looking at the back of Sehun’s head. He tried to continue with a calmer voice: "If I got annoyed at every person who had a                  crush on me, do you really think I would be doing this job?"

He waited for a response from Sehun.

"You have a point."

He smiled and turned around completely. Sehun looked at him over his shoulder and settled to remain on his back, his eyes on Luhan’s.

"Seriously, I simply have stuff on my mind, so don’t worry."

"The same stuff that made you act like another person back then?"

It was apparently not the answer Luhan had expected. "Eh...No," he replied before his gaze landed on the ceiling.

"That day...It’s not that I was upset or anything, really. It’s just..."

He seemed to struggle to find words.

"As shape-shifters have animal bodies as well as their own, we get heats and ruts." The older glanced at him before continuing: "So when Xiumin told you I was sick...In fact, I was experiencing my first..." He bit his lower lip before taking a deep breath and finishing his sentence: "Heat."

"They make you angry?"

"I guess they might make us more on edge but for me it was more a matter of masculinity complex you could say."

"Masculinity?"

"Mmh. Basically, our animals can be like the opposite sex as us and since only females have heats it meant that my deer was female."

"You never knew?"

"No, it’s only when someone has their first heat or rut that we can know."

"What? Your animals don’t have genitals before that?"

"Yeah well no. Hum..."

"Is it regarding who you’re attracted too? Like are heats because you’ll be attracted to males and ruts because you’ll be attracted to females?"

"Eh...Well, usually they go together but it’s not because they are attracted to females that we say males have ruts, it’s just the behaviour that changes. We associate the sex starting from that."

"So your behaviour is different, but does your deer have female genitals?"

Luhan stared at him, quiet.

"Oups. Sorry, I guess that’s private."

"Yes," the older blurted out.

"Wait...Was that a ‘yes that’s private’ or ‘yes my deer has female genitals’."

"Both."

"Oh...Alright...I understand it can be quite a shock."

"It was. Especially since I’m so old, I don’t know, I was getting used to my deer not having a sex related to them. Others usually get their heats slash ruts when they are teens and I’m just here like I got them at fucking twenty-one years old."

"Were you scared to be treated differently?"

"I knew the pack wouldn’t think of me any differently although a part of me did fear that, it’s just that I also know there’ll be occasions they’ll have to."

"Occasions they’ll have to think of you differently?"

"No, treat me differently."

"Like what?"

"For example, when we transformed Chanyeol, the females quit to go at the girls’ place so they would be safer but I stayed. Now, if a situation like that were to happen again, let’s say we transform you and Kai, I’d have to go with them. And I know it’s not like the end of the world but it creates a separation between me and like Xiumin, Lay and all. It’s strange and it’ll never be like before again."

His chin was shaky.

"Plus, I get emotional easily and it sucks," he scoffed and wiped his eyes as he took a deep breath. He pressed his lips into a thin line and looked the opposite direction from the younger.

"Sorry, you barely know me and I’m just venting all my problems to you. It’s not like you didn’t have enough for yourself, is it?"

"It’s fine, hyung. If anything I am flattered; you don’t seem like the kind of guy to cry in front of just anyone. I feel special."

That made the other laugh.

"How did we even end up getting this conversation?" He joked and Sehun chuckled. "Why is it that you don’t like sleeping alone, anyway?"

"I like being cuddled," Sehun shrugged.

"That’s it?"

 "Yeah."

They exchanged a stare for a few seconds before Luhan tsked. He raised himself onto his arms and pushed himself further up on the cushions.

"Come here," he extended his arm to welcome Sehun in his embrace and said man watched him in utter disbelief.

"Are you joking?"

"No? Come on."

The older smiled and the other cheerfully scooted closer resting his head and hands on the Chinese man’s torso.

 

 

 

 

He woke up to the knocking on his door.

He sat on his bed to look at the entrance. As the knocking repeated he pulled the covers off his legs and walked to go open it. In the dark hallway, he searched for the person responsible for the sound and found a wide-awake Chen leaning on the wall between their rooms.

"I can’t sleep," he stated quietly.

"I could, but you woke me up," Xiumin answered, leaning tiredly on the door frame.

"Sorry..."

"Come in, I don’t want to wake the others up."

The older went to lie back down under the covers while Chen sat on his bed after closing the door.

"So? What’s wrong?"

"I’m simply not tired."

"Did you try lying down and closing your eyes?"

"For an hour and a half now."

"Maybe the other half would have been the good one..."

Chen didn’t reply and silence fell for a moment. However, scared of Xiumin falling back asleep he spoke up:

"Your room smells nice."

"Normal, I live in it."

It was a simple reply that forced the conversation to stop once again, letting silence take over the room.

The younger didn’t like it.

"Do you think D.O and Kai could end up together?"

"Maybe."

"Then, we’d be the only two left without anyone."

He seemed fascinated by the fact.

"You don’t know. Maybe I’m Suho’s second mate and I’ve been in a polyamorous relationship with Lay and him from the beginning."

Through his closed eyes, Xiumin could imagine the expression on Chen’s face, staring at him with doubt in his gaze.

"Are you?"

Xiumin scoffed.

"You might never know."

"Ah! Wèi shèn me?" He complained.

"Because it’s way more entertaining to make you whine like that."

"Okay but for real though."

"What do you think?"

The older opened his eyes to stare at Chen while he pondered.

"No?" Said man tried.

"And you are right. Don’t you think you would have seen it earlier if it had been true?"

"Dunno. You are quite smart so if you would have wanted it to be a secret I’m sure you would have found a way. Plus, you spend a lot of time with them for the café management so..."

"Mmh...But no. I’m pretty sure it’ll be like you said, we’ll simply end up as the only two remaining single people in the pack."

"We can simply date each other?" The younger joked.

"Yeah," the other chuckled, "let’s do that."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, promise."

"Yes! Now, I am blessed with the Xiumin Belonging Gift."

Xiumin laughed.

"The fuck are you on about?"

"Remember when Luhan came here because one of his clients...Abused him. You told him you would make him yours if something happened?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, he found his mate a few days after."

"God. Now you think you’ll find your mate because I said we would date?"

"Yes."

"Just fucking go to bed, you _are_ tired. This is the proof."

"Can’t I just sleep here?"

"Why would you want to sleep here?"

"Because I love you!"

With that he threw himself on his gēgē to hug him while humming and laughing.

"Gross. Okay now shut up or you’ll wake up the others."

Xiumin tossed the younger off him and turned around. He heard him snort one last time before he scooted closer, passed an arm around his waist and finally settled still.

"I hope the others aren’t expecting us to wake up early tomorrow because I plan on sleeping in," Chen spoke.

"Lucky you."

"You have something planned?"

"A date with coffee."

"Ah. Right. You’re an early bird."

"As much as I despise it."

"There there. It’s different now; I’m here. The natural warmth of my embrace might force you to stay asleep," Chen said jokingly.

The older sighed.

"I wish. But in case I don’t: let me sleep now."

The younger hummed. He closed his eyes peacefully; kidding around with Xiumin always made him happy.

They both fell asleep to the reassuring sound of the other’s breathing.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG THE TEASERS FOR THE WAR AAAAAH I CAN'T AND THE ALBUM PICS??!?!? *-* my aesthetics are greatly pleased (let's not talk about Yixing)    
> 
> Now let's talk about this chapter, apparently Baekhyun actually did enjoy his first time with Chanyeol pff who was he even trying to lie to anyway. The pack's kinda in deep shit monetarily (but that's not that bad, is it?). Sehun is a baby and Lulu's hormones are being bitches so the both of them can cuddle together and cry. Chen can't sleep so he ends up having 3 am bromance with Xiumin and doing the bro-marriage (brorriage?) promise thingie. Seems like a leggit summary to me. 
> 
> Stay tuned for the next episode of Let's Be One. 
> 
> (I cringe too ya know) 
> 
> (OKAY BUT THE KOKOBOP THEORIES GIVE ME FEELS ;-; LIKE I DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH WITH SEHUN SHOWING OFF HIS CHEST TATTOO (Sehun is a yakuza boss confirmed) CHANYEOL EMBRACING THE PASTEL AESTHETIC, HAVING TO DEAL WITH HOW BAEKHYUN AND HIS MULLET MAKES ME QUESTION MY AESTHETICS (it was really hard trying to explain to my parents that I could find mullet attractive now too. Coming out of the mullet closet) AND KAI (ugh) AND HIS PERFECT SKIN (seriously I can't like for some reason the colors/saturation they chose really makes his skin color pop out and I can't (unciadesu greatly approves) 
> 
> Okay that's enough I have to go sleep. Anyway, don't hesitate to leave a comment, thank you for reading this and I love you all :) Your support is greatly appreciated :)  


	28. Walking on Shards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for violence and mention of toxic relationship.

"You look dead."

Suho stared at the masculine body lying on the counter as he entered the Korean dorm. His arm was extended so his head could rest on it, facing the wall. He had a mug the leader knew was filled with a certain drink high in caffeine in front of him.

The leader turned around to open the fridge but was stopped by Xiumin’s sleepy voice:

"Don’t prepare the breakfast just yet. The others are most likely not waking up before noon."

Suho turned around and released the hold he had on the refrigerator’s handle. He walked towards the coffee machine.

"May I have some?" He asked his hyung referring to the already brewed and hot drink.

"Yeah."

"Went to bed late?"

"Yep. And woke up at seven because my body’s natural alarm doesn’t seem to want to go off on vacation days."

He let out a deep sigh.

"What time did you go to bed?" Suho wondered.

"Around three I think. Then, Chen woke me up after I _finally_ was able to fall asleep because he himself couldn’t. We talked a bit and we were able to get some rest in the end."

Xiumin looked up at the Korean leader sipping his coffee and let out another deep exhale.

"I just hope I’ll be able to go to bed early tonight...How about you? Enjoyed your Christmas Eve?"

The younger’s head slightly fell backwards while his face displayed a peaceful expression as he smiled warmly and closed his eyes, softly embracing the fuzzy sentiment that the reminiscence of the past night inspired.

The Chinese man smirked knowingly. He waited for the hum and nod that came as answers before commenting:

"Aw, I’m happy for you...So that’s why he was kind of power-weak when he healed Kai." He brought his mug to his lips but didn’t drink.

"Yeah, about that. What happened exactly? I wanted to come down when D.O came to wake us up but Lay thought otherwise. The jerk used his powers against me."

"He probably thought it was better for you to rest," Kris commented as he came in.

"Probably but I’m still going to be salty about it," his fellow leader turned around to reply, "good morning by the way. Tao’s not with you?"

"Nah, he’s been feeling off since yesterday," the tall man stated.

He didn’t look quite well himself.

"Told him he could sleep in."

"Is something up? You look exhausted," Suho noted.

"Take me as a mirror," Xiumin pointed out.

"I look that dead?" Kris lamented.

"Yep," the other two answered.

The Chinese leader took in a deep breath before rubbing his face with his hands.

"He’s just down. Can I?"

After Xiumin nodded, the man took a mug and filled it with coffee. He then pursued:

"He told me he wished he would have had a Christmas with his family like others. He wished they had been closer."

"He still didn’t tell you what happened back then?" Suho asked.

"I’m pretty sure it has to do with his family, his mom in particular; after what he babbled about when he went bonkers that’s what I could understand. Though, he didn’t tell me anything specifically. My guess is that his mom, for some reason, wasn’t pleased with the son she had and decided to send people after him to get rid of him or something, as terrible as that sounds."

"What kind of mother would do that to _their child_?" The pack’s mom asked.

"I wouldn’t even consider her a mom at that point," Kris answered, "anyway, it’s only a guess. We’ll see later when Tao opens up. For now, what happened yesterday?"

The oldest briefly explained to the two leaders the trouble that occurred to Chanyeol’s friends the night before.

"Goodness, that’s terrible," Suho commented.

"Sehun’s lucky Luhan was there," Kris added, "and Kai’s lucky Lay was there."

"I agree," Xiumin declared, "also, you should know: Luhan found out Sehun was his mate."

"What? Where did that come from?"

The younger men were surprised with the news.

"As crazy as it sounds, when the bullet was shot, Luhan apparently felt like his world was ending and D.O heard him scream from inside."

"That does sound crazy," Kris frowned.

"That sounds...Accurate."

They both stared at the Korean leader, waiting for an explanation.

"What are you referring to," the man’s ex-boyfriend asked, "is there something that happened to Lay that I don’t know of?"

"No no, it’s not that. Remember when we first came here?"

"Oh! Your friend. Yeah, I remember. You were traumatized by that scream."

"To this day I still am. I can’t believe D.O heard it again..."

"Yeah," Xiumin joined, "yesterday he looked pretty disturbed."

They let silence install itself for a few minutes until one of them decided to speak again. The voice belonged to Suho:

"It isn’t safe for Sehun and Kai to go back to their apartment."

"Indeed. So you want to keep them here?" Xiumin asked but already knew the answer.

"If we don’t find another solution, yes."

"They know we're shape-shifters now, don’t they? Why not ask them if they would want to be like us," Kris proposed. "After all, they would be able to protect themselves from then on. We wouldn’t need to watch over them anymore, simply teach them the basics."

"Mmh. I guess that’s an idea," Suho nodded.

"Luhan proposed they go live with him but then there’s always school business," Xiumin added, "that could get risky for them. I thought they could simply move out? New city, new yakuzas...Of course, Luhan would probably want to follow too - since, well, Sehun - and I would follow Luhan so they would have two shapeshifters protecting them if ever."

"You would follow Luhan?" Suho faltered.

The older momentarily stopped as he noticed the hurt in Suho’s voice and expression.

"I could," he corrected himself, "I _could_ follow Luhan. Don’t think it’s because I don’t like the pack, I just also like Luhan."

"Oh no, it’s fine, really," Suho apologized sincerely, "you could have decided to go with them. If that were to be your decision I wouldn’t restrain you...I just...It surprised me. That’s all."

Xiumin knew the leader was sincere but he still felt like he had wounded him in a way.

"Also, Chanyeol is probably going to want to follow his friends," the eldest continued trying to push away the sudden tension, "and that would also mean Baekhyun would go. So yeah, they would be protected."

"I don’t like this option," Suho spoke gloomily.

"Sadly, it’s not your decision to take," Kris replied.

The Korean man sighed.

"I know..."

 

 

 

 

They had decided they would let the two youngest rest their minds for a few days. After what they had been through, they thought it would be better not to pressure them with life changing decisions.

They passed Christmas together, in the comfort of the pack’s home. They called their parents and friends to wish them a merry time and pursued one for themselves.

However, as much as they sought to be jolly in that day of festivities by cracking jokes and spending time altogether, the atmosphere stayed sombre and filled with anguish. Eventually, everyone in the pack had learned about the events concerning the humans and even though they hadn’t been in the middle of the action, it still affected them in some way.

It simply felt too real that someone so close to them had been the victim of attempted murder. Even if they knew Sehun hadn’t been hurt the simple existence of the probability that he would have been hit by the bullet was enough to make them uneasy.

They had all been tensed for the first days following the incident, some nauseous even. The happenings replayed in their heads unconsciously even for those who hadn’t been there; their imagination would produce images just as terrifying as reality.

Some of them had thought of leaving the pack, feeling as if their daily security was threatened or had even been already taken away. The idea was always dismissed quickly but kept coming back to haunt them. They wanted to return to their parents, to where they felt unconditionally safe and warm for most of them. Others searched in their hearts for that place; their anxious minds desperately trying to get out of this troublesome situation.

It was too much. It wasn’t something they had been prepared for when they had accepted to be part of this "pack". Things like this weren’t supposed to happen. They didn’t know what to do. You never get prepared to react to this kind of situation.

D.O would spend a lot of time with Kai. They had noticed the shape-shifter had exited the events in shock, reflecting on what had happened two years before and comparing it to more recent circumstances. In his state, they concluded he sought comfort and he seemed to find it at the tanned Korean boy’s side.

It reminded the pack members that were there when their life in Japan started of how the relationship between Chen and Baekhyun had started. After his traumatizing experiences, the petite man had quickly formed a relationship with the Chinese for the communication between them was easy and with only a few words needed.

Similarly, the two Korean men formed a friendship. It was quiet and discrete but their bond seemed tough. They wouldn’t actually do much – Kai still spent most of his time with his original friends- but they would gravitate around each other a lot during the day. For example, they had started to sit side by side when they would eat or when they watched television in group. The two had also made a habit of sharing the same bed at night which pushed Luhan to keep sleeping next to his mate.

They had all thought it was a good idea, Luhan included. After all, his heat was finished so there was no way things could go wrong plus it motivated the human and the deer to bond together. They did grow closer. With all the cuddling and spooning – and sometimes chit-chatting- they were bound to do so.

In three days, Luhan had replaced the awkwardness he felt around the younger with affection. It was friendly and not yet loving but the shape-shifter hoped it would come eventually. He despised the idea of being mated with someone he could never love but he repeated to himself that that couldn’t happen.

At least, he hoped so.

Still, their relationship was aiming for the better and it put the older at ease.

However, when, on the 28th of December, Kai did the unexpected and actually started the conversation they had meant to avoid, the deer became agitated.

"Until when are we allowed to stay? Sehun and me, I mean."

The boy began. They had been eating breakfast, the pack a moment quiet for they had finished a conversation were now starting a new one with Kai wondering aloud if he could ask a question. They had all agreed. Only, they didn’t think that would be the subject of his interrogation.

"I talked about it with D.O yesterday but he said it would be better to talk about it with the leaders," he continued, "seeing as the both of you are there..."

"We actually thought of options," Kris answered seeing as Suho couldn’t find words.

"Options?"

"Mmh, since we wouldn’t simply let you go back in your previous apartment. It would be too dangerous for you guys and we are not that heartless. Seeing your current yakuza problem we obviously thought that a potential solution for you would be to leave Tokyo. After all, you didn’t do anything big and I doubt this city’s group is going to put efforts in trying to find you there. But that’s my guess, I could always be wrong."

As Chanyeol gave him a pleading look, Baekhyun pondered on something else and added an element to the proposition:

"If you leave Tokyo, Chanyeol and me could follow you. That way we would still be there in the eventuality that the yakuza decided to still trouble you."

While Kai debated the pros and cons of moving out, Sehun was pensive. It would be so weird, such a change, to start from zero again in a completely unknown city and most likely a totally new school. Although he knew he would adapt, an uneasy feeling lingered in his stomach.

"But we also thought we could simply transform you two," Suho suggested, "that way you could protect yourselves wherever you go and still stay in Tokyo."

He smiled. It was as if he was begging them to choose the second option.

"You could?" Came Kai’s surprised answer.

"Yeah."

"There’s no, like, rule that you shouldn’t transform anyone randomly?" Sehun frowned.

"No?"

"Back then there were," Luhan glanced at Lay for confirmation, "but nowadays the traditional ways are fading out. Not like it’s a bad thing."

"So then we would also be shapeshifters?"

"Yes."

"Would we be allowed to go live back in our apartment?"

"Of course!" Xiumin joined.

"If that’s what you wish," Suho said.

"I’m just going to say this to make it clear: we might call our group a 'pack' we don’t function like one," Xiumin explained, "we are simply friends. We don’t have a hierarchy even though we call Kris and Suho the 'leaders'. They are simply good at taking decisions and that’s why we trust them in dealing with our general troubles. Don’t feel obliged to them in any way."

"Oh, okay. That’s good to know," Kai spoke.

"Yeah, I kind of thought you might have had that alpha slash omega thingie going on."

"Only on special occasions," Chen advanced and Sehun gave him a knowing look.

Their complicit interaction didn’t last long as the older’s eyes went to his leg. It had been kicked by Lay next to him. He had been confused for a few seconds until he had noticed Suho’s slightly tensed mood although he tried to act as if there was nothing. After analysing the sudden silence, he noticed D.O seemed to be feeling something similar.

As Suho wanted to sooth the heavy air by continuing on another topic, Chen cut him:

"Did I...Hit a nerve?"

"It’s fine," Suho breathed out, "it just brings back unpleasant memories. Do tell me if ever I start acting like a megalomaniac; my previous leader was like that and it’s pretty much the reason for why we left Korea in the first place so..."

He spoke to the members in general not knowing who knew and who didn’t. He heard Baekhyun ask softly to Xiumin next to him what a "megalomaniac" was and the Korean leader answered in the latter’s place:

"Someone that thinks people should bow to him. You shouldn’t disobey him. He thought big of himself and poorly of everyone else. Every member of the pack was his property and he could treat them as he wished."

Suho let out an annoyed sigh and Chen took in a deep breath. The rest of the pack was clearly shocked by the leader’s sudden outburst.

"Okay, I did touch a nerve," he let out.

"Yeah," Kris confirmed.

"I’m guessing you didn’t know he was like that when you joined his pack," Chen continued.

"He was actually pretty sweet when we met him and that’s why we accepted to join his pack but then...I don’t know..."

"He started going out with her," D.O explained.

"Ah, really? That’s what happened?" Suho was slightly taken aback. 

The younger nodded sorrowfully.

"Anyway, things went downhill from there and he changed a lot so we came here."

"Did you run away?" Tao asked.

"No, he knew we were coming to Japan, actually. I simply enticed him until he gave in."

"Do clarify that for them, Suho," Kris demanded, "it sounds wrong."

"Kris! He was straight for goodness sake."

"So was I," Sehun commented lowly.

He then realized he didn’t believe in his statement and tried to change it, starting with a "wait, no" but the others weren’t paying attention to him.

"I simply gave him what he wanted."

"For fuck’s sake," Kris sighed.

"Watch your language."

"Stop taking yourself for a playwright. Everyone’s gonna think you whored yourself out," the Chinese leader implored, "no offence gēgē."

Luhan shook his head to show he wasn’t insulted.

"I did not...Ugh. I basically went to him and manipulated him with sweet talk so that he would believe that he was the one to allow us to leave while in fact I was simply covering our butts. That way he would think he was still in power when actually...I was the one controlling him."

"Modest," Chen scoffed.

"Is he the same to this day?" Chanyeol asked.

"We don’t know," D.O answered.

"Let’s just say we didn’t really want to get in contact with him again, Suho explained, but, anyway, that’s not what we were talking about, is it? Sorry for the digression...So what do you guys want to do?"

"My god, Suho, give them time," Luhan criticized.

"Well, just tell me if one of the propositions is more appealing than the other so we know or if ever you have another option feel free to voice it," Suho replied, "also, if you decide you would maybe want us to change you, you’ll still have time to change your minds for I’ll have to call the girls and fix a day with them."

"Why the girls?" Kai asked. "Krystal and all? Are they shapeshifters too?"

"Yes, they are, and it’s just so that a part of the pack can go there while we transform you and so that Victoria can come check up on you after."

Sehun glanced at Luhan remembering their conversation.

"What’s their animal?" Kai continued with his questions.

"Birds."

"What birds?"

"It’s complicated. Bird shapeshifters are different...They have like a main form but they can transform in any type of bird they want usually. They are the closest to all-rounded shape-shifters that can take the shape of any animal they want."

"They aren’t really called all-rounded shape-shifters though," Xiumin precised, "I actually don’t know the name but I know it’s not that."

"Ah."

Kai looked to the floor and gulped before he posed his gaze on the Korean leader:

"I like the shape-shifter option more," he spoke.

"Oh, same by the way," Sehun’s voice came second.

Both of the leaders let a pleased expression flutter on their faces.

 

 

 

 

The same day, Suho had called the bird pack’s leader, Kris by his side. They had fixed the transformation for the third of January as the girls were out of the country until the second, early in the morning; they had left for America to celebrate the New Year with Amber and Krystal’s families. They had agreed that Victoria would briefly come by on the second to explain what they would do as well as to meet the Korean boys.

In "meeting the boys" she had apparently meant "checking what sex their wolves would be to prepare themselves accordingly." After that had been done, concluding that the both of them would be males – Sehun slightly leaning on the female side – and deciding that the pack’s females would leave for the girls’ apartment for the ritual as well as Chanyeol, she left.

Then, there was the day of the transformation. The women had called, early in the afternoon to inform them that the females could come whenever they were ready. Suho, stubborn as he was, then told Victoria that he would be coming later.

"What do you mean by that?" She suspected he would take a decision that would put him in danger.

"I want to transform both Kai and Sehun myself."

She sighed on the other line before she conceded. There was, however, a condition: she would send Amber to bring the leader safely after he was done sharing his blood with the two.

They let Tao, D.O, Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Luhan leave and waited for the bird shape-shifter to arrive.

As they did, they advised the two humans to change into dressing gowns. After seeing their confused expressions, they explained that they could shift after being changed and that the shifting would most likely rip their clothes. They followed their advice.

Soon they could here knocking on the door and watch as a small woman under a black cap came in, greeting them joyfully.

"You’re ready? There’s no turning back now," the Korean leader spoke.

"Yes."

"Then, let’s start the ritual."

Amber, her arms crossed on her chest, scoffed at the dramatic sounding of his words.

"So you simply cut your palms with this knife and then I’ll..."

"The both of them?" Kai asked.

"No, no. Just one."

"Can you do it for me?"

Sehun was turned to his friend, ignoring Suho.

"Can’t you do it yourself?"

"Nah."

Kai sighed. He cut his own palm –his right hand’s - under the surprised stare of everyone else. He was ready to cut his friend’s right palm before the leader stopped him:

"Ah! No. Since he’s at my left then you should cut his left hand, else I’ll have to cross my arms."

"But I don’t want to cut my left hand," Sehun protested.

"Why not?" The leader frowned.

"I don’t know it just feels weird; can’t you just cross your arms?"

"But crossing my arms will feel weird for me!"

"It seems like one of us will have to feel weird anyway, then!"

While the two debated Kai grabbed his friend’s left hand and lacerated his palm. Sehun jumped and, realizing his fellow dancer’s betrayal, he whined.

Both Lay and Amber had to turn around for their laughter, caused by no other than Sehun’s cuteness, couldn’t be controlled.

Kai passed Suho the knife and the man carved a line in both of his palms. He hissed as he cut the second one for the hand that was holding the sharp object was already wounded. He hoped the laceration wouldn’t close too fast.

He walked to the boys and didn’t even ask before taking their hands in his. They both winced at the contact.

When Suho’s eyes turned red, the youngest couldn’t help but let out a subtle "holy shit", impressed by the unnatural color.

"Suho," Kris signalled him when the tint was lost and the man let go of both of their hands.

"Time to go." Amber grabbed him by the arm and pulled him outside of the hangar.

She blocked the entry just as D.O had done the last time, the both of them sharing the same abilities.

The males stayed on their guards.

So far, the two Korean boys weren’t moving.

Their neutral expression as their eyes travelled the room was unsettling.

They didn’t really look at the other members, but, from the corner of their eyes, they could see them. Said men were aware of that fact as they waited, ready to react at any brusque movement.

"Kai? Sehun?"The Chinese leader risked, speaking lowly. They heard him but didn’t do anything about it.

While Kai seemed to be listening to the ambient sounds, Sehun starting sniffing. He frowned and turned his head slightly only to turn around completely.

Xiumin saw the younger’s eyes fall on him. _Ah fuck. This isn’t going to happen to me too..._ The younger seemed confused for a few seconds before some kind of realization hit him. "Right," he whispered.

He glanced at the floor only for his eyes to lock with the older’s again. His eyes passed to Chen quickly and then back to him before he raised his eyebrows. His gaze wondered to the other members and then back at them. He frowned. It left the two Shanghainese men confused.

Sehun turned around, startled by something only to discover Kai’s threatening expression.

They stood there simply staring at each other for a while before doing any action.

It was silent in the room, only their rapid breathing could be heard as they remained alert.

When Kai finally moved, the other imitated him and they both undressed themselves to take the shape of wolves right after.

As the Chinese men moved forward to stop them, Kai vanished.

Sehun took their moment of confusion to escape their eyes and galloped to where he had sensed Kai would emerge.

When he materialized between the two couches of the hangar, the wolf was prepared. His fangs were displayed and his ears, straight on his head. He barked defiantly and Sehun growled in response.

Just as Xiumin was building a wall of ice between them, the youngest jumped and bumped into it, head first.

It shattered.

The two wolves collided, Sehun forcing Kai to the ground.

All they saw was Kai’s wolf crash on the floor heavily. The impact or maybe Sehun’s gob shoved on the small of his back – the angle prevented the members from seeing properly - excerpted a whimper out of the other’s throat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have much to say about this chapter so...yeah. Things will get rambunctious starting from now as we are close to the end (sorry btw, didn't know it would be that long x) ), we have angst and smut coming up so be prepared.
> 
> (concerning the album: I have feels and Diamond is my fave (as well as Chill because wtf)) 


	29. Fuel to the Imagination

He fought back. Struggling to get up, Kai bit down on _his ear?_ The other wolf yelped, quickly getting away from his friend and galloping somewhere else in the hangar.

Kai followed him and jumped on his back, the two of them falling once again to the ground. They continued that way for a moment while the others tried to find a way to separate them. They would alternate their dominance by closing their jaws on each other’s members and constantly bustling to be the one on top.

It didn’t look like they were hurting each other for there was no bloodshed and only some hair snatching but the rest of the pack members were still worried; their battle remained violent and serious looking. There was no way for them to know if the fight would turn gory and every time they tried to separate both of the boys, they got growled at with maws of shining fangs.

Their assaults came to a stop when Sehun poked Kai’s private parts randomly while the latter was on him.

His friend then quickly got off of him doing a back flip and shifting at the same time into his human form. He grabbed his legs and held them close to his body.

“Dude!” He shouted.

“That was a cool move just now,” Sehun observed as he also shifted to his everyday form.

“Thanks but why would you touch my dick?”

“I wanted to see if we had penises as wolves.”

“Why didn’t you touch yours then?” Kai continued fussing.

The other shrugged.

“In the future, don’t do it.”

“Kay.”

“How do you feel, guys?” Kris got their attention, ignoring his disturbed state.

“Fine.” Sehun simply answered.

“As I thought you have enhanced senses,” Kai observed, “that’s what some of the rumours said. ‘Was wondering if it was true.”

Chen let out a whine. “You scared us with your jumping on each other! Can’t you warn us before doing anything like that? Huh?”

“It’s your fault if you got scared,” Sehun affirmed, “you’re the one that decided to ignore the possibility that we could’ve simply been playing.”

“How could I ignore something I had no idea existed?” The older replied, his voice still piercing. “Tell me how I was supposed to know you two were just kidding when you fucking chewed each other’s legs! Plus you were completely ignoring us when we called your names! How were we supposed to know you weren’t out of your minds?”

“Alright, alright, alright, Chen,” the Chinese leader interfered while Lay back hugged Chen to calm him down, “it’s fine now. They weren’t fighting in the end.”

“Of course we weren’t fighting! Sehun’s my best friend.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kris continued, “we were just a bit traumatized by Chanyeol’s reaction when we transformed _him._ ”

“What did he do?”

“He attacked Baekhyun,” Xiumin replied, “it wasn’t pretty.”

“Yeah, he got pretty much out of hand,” Chen added, “and unlike _you_ , he wasn’t kidding.”

“Yeah, well...Chanyeol can get...Quite involved in his sentiments?” Kai attempted an explanation. “And, unlike him, we are more...Not Chanyeol.”

Lay giggled.

“Then you’ll be quick learners,” Kris commented, “that’s always good to know.”

 

 

 

 

When Suho and Amber arrived in the girls’ apartment, everyone was on the sofa. Some were watching tv, others discussing and there was even someone sleeping: Sulli who had found Victoria’s lap to be a great pillow.

She woke up with a start as the door opened, letting them enter. Everyone was quick to get their attention on the two newcomers.

“So?” Chanyeol was the first to talk. “How did it go?”

“When we left, everything was fine,” Amber answered.

“That’s already a better start than with Chanyeol,” D.O commented.

“Sehun made a bit of a fuss of having to cut his palm but for the rest it went pretty well,” Suho let them know.

“Of course he did,” Chanyeol laughed, visibly calmer.

Amber’s cellphone buzzed and she pulled it out to look at the message she had just received:

“Baozi messaged me; Sehun and Kai just fell asleep and everything went well,” she stated.

“Didn’t take them long,” Victoria scoffed.

While Amber texted a reply, Luhan took his phone out. He furrowed his brows when he saw that the battery was still at eighty percent but that he didn’t receive any messages.

“How come _I_ didn’t receive anything?

“It’s not like he’s going to send the same message to all of us, gē,” Tao replied.

“Aw, Luhan are you jealous?”

“I’m not jealous,” he replied, although his face said otherwise, “I’m just surprised.”

“It’s not because you had some intimate time with him that you’re now the center of Xiumin-hyung’s world, you know,” Sulli muttered.

He didn’t even question how she knew. They probably all knew.

“Of course I know that,” he asserted, trying to hide that the comment flustered him. In a way, at that moment, it felt like he actually wanted to be the only person Xiumin had thought about before sending that message but that was quite selfish and also mostly quite unlike him. “Of course,” he repeated and the women in the room laughed while the others raised an eyebrow at his behaviour.

“Luhan don’t worry, you’re not in love with your best friend. It’s probably just your hormones acting up again,” Amber declared.

“Yeah, hormones make us do suprising things like having sex six times in a row with a man we just met,” Victoria disclosed, staring straight at Baekhyun.

Said man’s jaw dropped. “How did this conversation even turn against me?” He sputtered. “You guys were talking about Luhan.”

“I like teasing you,” Victoria spoke warmly. “And Luhan has enough problems as it is.”

Seeing the pout on Baekhyun’s face she blew a kiss.

“Actually, I wanted to know ‘cause we talked about it the other day: what happened with Shunso in the end? Did you contact him after that day or..?”

“Ah, yeah, I did,” Baekhyun answered and Chanyeol next to him abruptly shifted in his seat to turn to him, “I arranged a meeting with him to explain the situation.”

“You never told me,” Chanyeol pouted.

“I didn’t think it was important,” Baekhyun calmly explained hoping the other would understand, “it wasn’t a date, it was to settle things. We weren’t going out back then too, it was like three days after our first date. I had understood I wanted to try to be serious with you so I explained to him that it wouldn’t work out.”

“Do you still meet up with him?” Chanyeol didn’t seem to hold any grudge against him for not telling him about his talk with Shunso.

“No...We left on okay terms though; although he told me it was kind of hard on him since he actually liked me...He’s not mad at me or anything, he just preferred we don’t see each other anymore.”

His boyfriend nodded and Baekhyun’s lip corner lifted.

“Ah, I see,” Victoria said.

“For a second when Chanyeol said ‘you never told me’ I thought you had just started a couple fight,” Amber murmured to the older woman.

“Me too,” she admitted, chuckling, “god that would’ve been awkward.”

“I don’t remember you coming home with someone else’s smell other than when you came back with gē’s,” Tao questioned.

“That’s because I took a shower, babo. It was the day you had hallucinations,” Baekhyun explained, “they came to pick me up at Shunso’s.”

“But that’s the day...” Luna joined in. She gasped: “You lied to me!”

“Huh? What ‘I lied to’ you?”

“I told you to go back home and take a bath after you put your head in the freezer!” Luna barked.

“You don’t know maybe I came back home to take a bath and then went at his place,” Baekhyun countered.

She scoffed and raised both eyebrows in a “don’t try to lie to me” expression: “But did you?”

“No...” The man lowered his gaze.

“Were you in heat or something?” Krystal asked.

“Maybe the guy was just really bad at it and it was never enough,” Amber proposed.

“If that’s true than still: respect for the stamina, man.”

“Actually, Shunso was great,” Baekhyun answered and they all saw Chanyeol turning slightly sulky, his boyfriend being the only exception, “I was just really frustrated for some reason. Guess I was in some kind of heat or something, like you said. I think it’s because we had just transformed Tao.”

“Yeah, it’s probably for that hyung got his first heat not too long ago too,” Suho spoke, “cause we transformed Chanyeol.”

“Sorry to break it down to you, kid,” Victoria put a compassionate hand on Tao’s knee on her left, “you’re most likely next with the pack changing _both_ Kai and Sehun.”

The younger gave her a frightened look but her attention got to Luhan who had worried interrogation in his eyes. Understanding that he was asking if it would happen to him again she answered: “Sorry but yeah, probably. You’re still kinda...” She described his state by shaking her hand kind of how someone would imitate a fish’s tail but faster.

He groaned.

“Shaky?” Sulli questioned, still lying on her eonni’s tights.

“Not shaky,” Victoria giggled fondly, “the way I would describe it is that his deer is just hitting puberty so there are many changes in his body and so he’s more sensible to stuff around him. So he’s kind of unstable, you know.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun ahead for me,” Luhan commented sardonically and the woman smiled sympathetically.

“At least now you have Sehun,” D.O let out.

It sounded like he was trying to reassure the older although the others were convinced it was meant as a way to tease him more than anything. He sounded totally innocent as the words flew out of his mouth but that was surely not a simple affirmation, was it? He had probably meant to make Luhan blush and look utterly furious as he was at that moment.

The Chinese man didn’t reply.

“My god, is it that bad?” Tao commented seeing Luhan’s blooming face.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol were the only ones able to see D.O’s face as he realized he shouldn’t have spoken these words. They weren’t sure if that was still part of an innocent act but Baekhyun who had known D.O for longer could bet it was probably not. It actually looked like he felt bad for mentioning Sehun.

A beam that took the form of a light bulb appeared on top of his head as he smiled brightly. It got the attention of the others in the room on him.

“Luhan-hyung...Do you, perhaps, reciprocate Sehun’s feelings?” He suggested.

The older didn’t turn around. Instead, he pondered on an answer.

“Or maybe...Are you two going out?” Chanyeol wondered.

He clenched his jaw and D.O seemed fit to apologize. Luhan breathed out heavily. _They had to learn eventually I guess._ He turned to the couple:

“No we’re not going out and no I do not reciprocate his feelings...Yet.”

At the last word, Baekhyun grabbed his boyfriend’s thigh excitedly. They both tried to keep their joyful feelings down for Luhan wasn’t in a similar mood.

“A few days ago I found out he was my mate and I’m trying to...Make things better between us,” he explained.

The couple nodded and tried their best to suppress the smiles that threatened to invade their faces.

 

 

 

 

The next day, Victoria visited the guys’ home to check up on Sehun and Kai. When she arrived they were still sleeping soundly, lying on the two couches of the hangar. She surprised the other four men sitting behind one of them, snoring while they rested their heads on each others’ shoulders.

“How cute,” she whispered. She felt bad for having to wake them up.

The Chinese leader sprung out of slumber when she pronounced his name. He looked kind of confused but mostly alarmed when he saw her.

“I came to check up your two newest members.” There was interrogation in her tone. _Don’t you remember?_

“Ah, yes.”

She chuckled as Kris calmed down.

“Have they been sleeping since yesterday?” The bird shapeshifter asked.

“Yeah,” he simply answered, shaking his friends awake, “they passed out at somepoint and have been sleeping since.”

“Not like any of you would know,” she commented, “you didn’t even sense me coming in.”

She sighed. “Let’s get these two up.”

She walked to between the couches and crouched. She poked their foreheads and they slightly winced, waking up.

“Victoria...Hi...” Sehun sleepily let out.

“Hi, how are you guys feeling this morning?”

“Fine,” Kai answered.

“Mmh? That’s good. No unusual feeling or sensation?”

“Besides the normal stuff, no.”

Kai’s answer had been pretty accurate. The way Victoria could sense it, they were both already familiar with their second form and the new sensations it came with. They already felt stable like born shape-shifters. She knew that didn’t mean they would be able to control themselves like the last mentioned but it was still a good sign.

She hummed. “It seems that way to me too. I don’t think you’ll have any problems with the test I’ll make you pass, even Chanyeol was fine with it, but I still have to do it. Be ready.”

And so, she started. As she had thought, the two didn’t react in any troublesome way. They acknowledged that they would suddenly feel different emotions and that their wolves would also react but it was absolutely normal. Mostly, they seemed confused by what was happening but didn’t question anything.

“Everything seems fine to me,” she finished, “now excuse me while I return home and sleep for two days.”

She stood up and started untying the dressing gown she had on before she turned to Sehun: “One last thing before I go,” she spoke, “your wolf is leaning on the female side so you might have some symptoms after this like they do after getting transformed, cool? If you have questions with that you can ask Baekhyun and Tao, they know their business.”

“What do you mean I’m leaning on the female side?”

“I don’t know, your wolf seems to be kind of hermaphrodite but like not at the same time because you don’t feel like both a male and a female just like...A more...Female male? You can always have fun checking your wolf’s genitals in front of a mirror to understand more for yourself. Do whatever you want, I’m going home now. See you, guys. Take care.”

“Thanks, jiĕ.”

With that, she let the dressing gown fall to the ground and flew out of the hangar.

“Care to explain,” Kai spoke.

The others laughed.

“Jiĕjie can play with people’s mind,” Lay explained, “she wanted you to see how you would react to diverse emotions so she made you feel them.”

“She can also make herself hyper sensible to everything around her like feelings and hormones and stuff to the point where she often guesses what’s going through someone’s mind before they tell them,” Chen explained, “it can get kinda scary sometimes.”

Sehun turned to Kai: “That’s it. She’s the most powerful,” he affirmed. It made his friend laugh.

“You bet she is,” Chen continued; you could see in his eyes that he talked from experience.

He sat next to Kai.

“Can she see relationship strings?” Sehun wondered.

“Eh...” The Chinese man clearly didn’t know what the other was talking about.

“Oh! So you _can_ see them!” Came Lay’s voice. His friends stared at him, surprised by his words.

“’Seeing’ doesn’t really sound fitting but yeah, I guess.”

“What?” Kris was lost.

“Remember, back then, Baekhyun said that he could see the bonds between us. Like how there were some cables that linked us or something like that.”

“Oh. That.” Kris let out.

Of course he remembered. That was how Lay and Suho had discovered they were mates. Apparently, the man had explained that, to him, their bond seemed way stronger than for exemple Kris and Suho’s that were actually a couple at the time. They had ignored it at first not wanting to break the already formed duo but at some point they just couldn’t ignore the fact that something drew them together.

For a second, he wondered if that would mean Sehun or maybe Kai would notice Luhan was the youngest’s mate. _That would help bring the subject up._

“She probably can for all we know,” The Chinese leader replied.

“So it’s an actual thing, I’m not just imagining stuff?” Sehun asked.

“Nah, I see them too.” His friend joined.

“Alright,” the Korean man said and then proceeded to very subtly - and this isn’t sarcasm as he meant his action to be noticed by only two people – looked at Chen and then at Xiumin. Nobody noticed except the two. His gaze had posed itself slowly on the both of them, one at a time. His attention staying on each of them for long enough for them to understand that he hadn’t simply made eyecontact by mistake.

After his stare with Xiumin exchanged he looked to the floor and displayed a fake innocent smile before stating: “I’m hungry.”

 

 

 

 

“Tell me you saw that,” Xiumin let out while following Lay in the Korean dorm.

“Saw what?” The other asked, putting his head in the refrigerator to look for the ingredients he needed.

“As expected you didn’t see it.”

The elder started moving around the living room aimlessly. Lay stared at him. He seemed agitated.

“See what?” The cook repeated.

“I’m not crazy,” Xiumin let out and Lay raised an eyebrow.

“I never said you...”

“Sehun looked at me.”

“...Sehun looked at you.”

“I said I’m not crazy!”

Lay preferred to remain silent.

“Just hear me out, okay?” The other continued. “He...He looked at me - at us – once, before they transformed and he...He made _a face._ ”

The younger listened, scanning his friend’s head to see if it hadn’t received any trauma.

“And then, he looks at us _again_ after talking about ‘relationship strings’ and I’m pretty sure that wasn’t just a coincidence, Lay. He _looked at us,_ at Chen and then at _me, a_ s if he was insinuating something.”

Xiumin was waiting for words Lay couldn’t find.

“I need coffee,” the Shanghainese stated.

“Judging from your mental state right now I would say coffee would only make things worse for you,” Lay stopped him.

“I’ll make it decaf.”

The man passed behind him and headed for the coffee machine. Seeing he was concentrated on something else for the moment, he went on with preparing food for the pack.

After a moment, the older nudged him with a cup: “Here, you have one too.”

He accepted the drink and turned his attention to his gēge.

“I hope you know I have no idea what you were babbling about earlier.” He brought the cup to his lips.

“I figured.”

“Can you make things clearer for both me and you.”

“Yeah...I think Sehun might be seeing something between Chen and me the both of us hadn’t been able to see.”

Xiumin took a sip of his drink while he watched as Lay’s face displayed a puzzled expression. The latter squinted, questioning. The other nodded, certain that he had been able to come to the same conclusion as him.

“Sorry but I’m still lost,” the younger admitted in the end.

The older sighed softly. He didn’t know how to put things for he wasn’t sure of his hypothesis to start with. He had hoped Lay could understand and explain it better but as he clearly couldn’t, Xiumin tried again:

“I think...Sehun...”

He started and Lay rested the edge of his mug on his lips. He sighed.

“Maybe it’s just that Chen has a crush on me.”

Lay spit out the coffee he had in his mouth on his friend.

The latter quickly covered his face with his hands and the other looked for a towel to wipe burning liquid off the man after putting his cup away. He apologized repeatedly.

They tried to remove the coffee stain from the man’s shirt by wetting the towel but, obviously, it didn’t work. So, Xiumin took of his shirt and threw it in the sink, claiming he would hand wash it immediately to be sure the coffee didn’t stay.

Then, _of course_ the cliché scenario had to occure. Just as he was putting his hands on Lay’s side to push him away, planning on going to fetch the washing powder in the Chinese dorm, his eyes met a newcomer’s.

He froze.

“Didn’t know you were in an open relationship, Lay,” Luhan let out.

“This is not what you think it is,” Xiumin affirmed.

“What do you mean?” Lay lifted him from the ground. “This is exactly what it looks like.”He smooched his cheek.

Xiumin commanded him to put him down.

“If it’s not what I think it is,” Luhan began, “should I assume that you both were preparing to have some hot sex on that counter?”

They laughed.

“No, Lay was going to prepare breakfast while I was going to get washing powder,” Xiumin explained,”I got coffee on my shirt.”

“They like sweet stuff, right?” Lay asked. “Sehun and Kai.”

“They do,” Luhan answered.

“Cool cause I planned on making pancakes.” He pat Xiumin’s butt with a “sorry again” before starting to crack eggs. “Did you guys eat at the girls’ place?”

“Yeah but what did he apologize for,” the deer asked the bun.

“He spit on me. You might be of help so listen to what I have to say.”

After telling him what he had told Lay, Xiumin leaned on the counter, hopeless.

“So Chen would have a crush on you?” Luhan concluded.

“And Sehun tried to make me know, yeah.”

“That’s not that big of a deal, is it? Sehun has had a crush on me since we met and...Okay that might not be the best exemple but...What I mean is that we’re fine now. He deals with it well and it’s...”

“Yeah but you’re used to people crushing on you, I’m not. I’ve known Chen for years and I don’t want to be the reason to why he’s sad.”

Memories of events of the past came to his mind. _“Because I love you.”_ He had said when having to justify why he had wanted to sleep with him. Xiumin grunted. _Fuck I’m so oblivious._

“And how do you know he’s sad? He might be fine with just being friends with you. Liking someone doesn’t mean you want to officialise a relationship with them.”

“Yeah, after all you two are still talking to each other and hugging and stuff. One can be happy with just that,” Lay added, putting a pancake on a plate and leaving butter to melt on its top.

They listened to the crackling of the oil in the pan.

“Do you think I should like, talk with him about it or?” Xiumin wondered.

“There’s nothing that stops you from doing so,” Luhan said, “but if that makes you too nervous you can always just wait and see. I mean, you said Sehun looked at the _both_ of you. Then, Chen’s probably thinking a lot on his side too so...”

“Yeah, I guess I could do that too.”

“And in the end it’s just a hypothesis,” Lay reminded them, “you don’t know for sure Chen has a crush on you. Maybe Sehun just wants it to happen.”

“Knowing him, it could be just that,” Luhan smiled.

“Yeah...” Xiumin nodded. “It’s just a hypothesis.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waddup, I'm hungry. To those who were wondering like f(x) what happened with Shunso: now you know. Also, Kai and Sehun are the only ones left that don't know about the Luhan being Sehun's mate and vis et versa thingie but yeah no, not for long (and yes Baekhyun actually made a light bulb appear on top of his head it wasn't a metaphor). OH AND XIUCHEN IS ACTUALLY HAVING SOME DEVELOPMENT thanks to Sehun who finds it funnier to spoil stuff to people :3
> 
> Now, time for shameless promo: I finished To the New Morning and I am now working on the french translation (because believe me or not my parents, who are french, actually ask to read the stuff I write as weird as it can get) so forgive me if it took a while to update this chapter x)  
> 
> Also, last weekend I went to an anime convention (there was kpop stuff) and it was great, I got to scare a kid in the metro with my Iron Bull cosplay. Fun times. 
> 
> And, to finish, today I watched Arrival and it was disturbing but I recommend cause the idea is really good and I got goosebumps. 
> 
> I love you guys, as always thanks for reading and feel free to comment :) I'm going to bed now cause it's 4 am here. <3 


	30. The Sounds of Insomnia

As Victoria had thought, Sehun ended up having symptoms like shape-shifters with female animals usually had when transformed. It happened just as he had taken his first bite of the pancakes Lay had prepared. They were calmly sitting on the couches, some with their plates and savouring the sweetness of their warm breakfast and some simply joining them to converse, when their attention had turned to the young man who had spit the food back onto his plate. He expressed disgust through a grimace.

“That’s rude, you know?” Chanyeol had stated.

“I’m sorry, Lay, but I really can’t eat this,” Sehun groaned.

Lay had asked what had been wrong with his pancakes for he had even added vanilla extract to make them more flavourful. He had been sure they would’ve appealed to the boy’s taste buds. It seemed like he had been wrong.

“There’s nothing wrong with these pancakes, Sehun, they’re tasty as fuck,” Kai practically moaned, taking another bite.

“I don’t know, they taste fucking bitter to me.” He risked himself to taking another bite. He spit it again. “Ugh. This is worse than coffee.”

As Kai volunteered to take the untouched parts, the others identified the source of Sehun’s taste buds dysfunction as a symptom of his transformation and shared their conclusion with the youngest.

“This sucks,” he groaned again.

“It could be worse,” Suho commented.

“You could be paralyzed up to your neck,” Tao proposed.

“Or you could also puke for three days straight,” Baekhyun added.

“I wouldn’t even mind – maybe not at the same time though – ‘cause at least I can still enjoy sweets. I don’t care if I puke it all after at least not every food tastes like crap.”

“You say that because you didn’t go through what _we_ went through, at least, not yet.” Tao replied.

“And _you_ say that because you aren’t me and can’t get me. I prefer puke and not moving to being deprived of sweets. And anyway, not moving is pretty much what I do of my days during vacations so...”

“Don’t worry; it probably won’t be like that for three days,” Kris intervened, “at least, I hope so because you need to eat.”

“As long as he drinks water,” Tao stared at Sehun, “I think he could survive with this for three days.”

He had just declared war to the younger man.

 

 

 

 

The rest of the day had passed without any incident. Sehun’s symptoms had worn off and he, in the end, relished himself of the rest of the pancakes they had put aside for him, to his greatest contentment.

Kris eventually went to bed with Tao following and he could only assume that the rest of the pack had done so too when he woke up at 1 o’clock in the morning.

His boyfriend had been moving a lot - pulling the covers, turning from one side to the other and occasionally kicking him – and whining in his sleep which, as it was bound to be, forced Kris to lay fully awake on the bed to wonder about what he should do to go back to his peaceful slumber.

He forgave Tao for waking him up by telling himself that he was probably having a nightmare. So, pitying the younger man, he turned to him and passed an arm around his body, hoping that it would comfort him.

However, as he picked up the other’s scent, making him realize the true reason of why he had been uncomfortably shifting, Kris couldn’t help but giggle. _That’s certainly not a nightmare he’s having..._

He posed a few kisses on his shoulder and caressed his hips as he began shushing him but he knew the other wouldn’t calm down.

He moved his hand so it rested on the front of the other’s briefs. He brushed delicate fingers over the man’s privacy, going up and down repeatedly. He knew the man could feel the soft touch even through the fabric of his underwear.

Tao’s body leaned towards him, towards his hand, unconsciously. With closed eyes, he hummed and it made the older man smirk. He passed an arm under his boyfriend’s slender waist and pulled it closer to him. He held him with a firm grip. As the smaller leaned his head on his torso and arched his back, he lowered his touch, reaching for the other’s manhood base and massaged it.

In his hold, his boyfriend’s breathing was deep, his abdominal muscles contracting once in a while in a jolt.

He pursued with his earlier movements, to the sleeping man’s greatest frustration.

He stopped at the tip he knew sensible and immediately earned a gasp from the other.

“Mmh? You like that, don’t you?”

He rubbed the urethra gently with his thumb, the rest of his hand resting on the growing bulge to then shift again, rolling the shaft’s tip between the three closest fingers. Tao whined and squirmed.

“Feels like you could come just like that,” Kris commented, a smirk on his face.

He didn’t stop. The younger man’s hips rocked into the hand, searching for more sensations and the other wondered how he was still asleep. However, Kris knew he was half-awake: aware of what was happening, but eyes closed as if he was still sleeping and didn’t wish to escape that state.

He only did so when the frustration became unbearable; when, with a long cry muffled by his own lips, he reached for the older man’s wrist, the latter stopping instantly.

He looked at his lower-half, at the hand that was holding it and at the wrist to which said hand was attached and waited for his breathing to calm before he turned to his boyfriend with hazy eyes.

“I started a heat, didn’t I?” He asked and Kris couldn’t help but giggle.

“Yeah, you did,” his voice felt reassuring to the other’s ears.

He buried his face into the other’s shirt and the older man pressed him closer. It was only when he started hiccupping that Kris understood that he was crying.

He pulled his head away from his chest, worried but still gentle, and met the other’s flustered face.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” He practically screamed.

“I don’t want to be in heat,” Tao pouted, tears pooling out of his eyes, “the others say it sucks.”

Kris didn’t really know what to answer to that and it made Tao giggle, still sobbing: “You are horrible at dealing with crying people.”

The other opened his mouth but the younger man cut him: “If you say ‘I’m horrible at dealing with the crying _you_ ’ I swear I’ll slap you.”

“No,” surprised by the other’s sharp words, “I was going to say that I would help you.”

“Good.”

The sobbing renewed and Kris sighed.

“Calm down,” he shushed him, “I’m here; everything’s going to be fine.” He kissed his hair. He wasn’t sure if this was the usual Tao or the hormonal shape-shifter talking for he knew his boyfriend could suddenly burst in tears once in a while but was also aware that heats tended to make people emotional. He didn’t think too much of it, settling for the idea that it was probably both.

Eventually, his hand was back on the other’s erection, massaging it.

They had switched positions, Tao on his back, his legs bent over the other’s shoulders. His hands were gripping the sheets on his sides and his head would turn to his shoulders repeatedly, each stroke making his voice resonate loud in the room and probably in every single other one of the dorms. There was no stopping him at this point for he was too far lost. Kris concluded he would simply apologize to whoever they would’ve disturbed.

He was sure they would understand though.

He leaned in to kiss his boyfriend’s, now exposed, member and gave the skin a quick suck as his hand continued to go up and down the shaft. He knew his boyfriend was close to climax and so he decided he would change their positions again to make them more conformable.

There were tears in the younger’s eyes when he spoke: “Why did you stop?” He looked at Kris’ movements as he brought his bottom back onto the mattress. When the man’s hands went around his ankles, his breath hitched which made his boyfriend stop for a moment.

Not for long though, he went on with moving Tao’s legs closer to his body and the man held them strongly. The latter gave his boyfriend a pleading look and Kris couldn’t help but laugh.

“If you’re too desperate maybe I’ll choose to make you wait a bit more for my own entertainment.”

“That would be very mean of you.”

“Pff. Like you aren’t ever mean.”

“I’m sassy; it’s part of my personality.”

“Then, maybe I should make cruelty part of mine.”

Tao pouted and Kris giggled.

“Isn’t it already though?” The younger man countered unexpectedly and the taller acted scandalised. Tao looked away, still upset.

“If my remarks hurt you, you can always tell me and I’ll try to stop. I can’t promise anything though.”

The other’s heart was warm so he leaned in for a kiss while moving his hands to hold himself on Tao’s feet, close to his head. He was probably an inch from the other’s lips when the latter threw his head back and moaned.

Frowning, Kris looked down to the man’s lower regions certain he had brushed over some sensible part.

He felt Tao’s feet tense under his touch and, when he looked up, his toes were curled.

The older man frowned. _Could it be..._ He rubbed circles on the feet’s sides with his thumbs and Tao wriggled under him letting out another beautifully sang lament.

He smirked.

“I see...” He chuckled at the somewhat distressed gaze his lover was sending him as he panted in between two caresses.

His time of rest didn’t last long as Kris planned on discovering more on this newly found erogenous area in Tao. His writhing started anew as he struggled to get his feet out of Kris’ hold but the man continued: he tickled, pet, pinched, kissed, licked and even bit the skin and every single one of these actions would elicit a new reaction from his boyfriend. So loud did the man moan his name and so high did he hum his bliss.

It was delightful.

It wasn’t long before Tao was able to get one foot out of his boyfriend’s hold as the latter let him, choosing to concentrate on only one of the two while posing a gentle hand on the other’s torso. The lying man let his leg fall on the mattress using the hand that had been holding it to relieve the tension he had been building up.

He looked up to Kris, asking for a kiss and the request slowly turned into begging as the man continued to stare at him, preferring to kiss his heel silently.

Tao turned silent, his breathing becoming laboured. He stared at the ceiling aimlessly; he was most likely too absorbed by the sensations to concentrate on anything.

He was so close.

After giving the man’s heel a last bite, Kris released the foot as his mate spasmed into relief, louder than ever.

The older man watched and Tao’s eyes didn’t meet his until he was coming down of his orgasm. His gaze was unfocused, his expression wrecked. His bangs were sticking to his face and some locks fell in front of his eyes. Kris brushed them aside lovingly.

“So, the feet, huh?” The latter teased as he saw his boyfriend was regaining his senses.

The younger man pulled the other down with his clean hand, forcing their mouths to meet. The quick to end kiss was messy but passionate and Kris could feel in the small smile he felt against his lips the satisfaction it brought the other.

When, breathless, Tao let himself fall back on the mattress, the older man couldn’t help but lean in for another kiss.

 

 

 

 

Chen was staring at the ceiling. The clock next to his friend was ticking and it felt like it was the only thing he could hear. That and Xiumin’s breathing as he slept calmly on his side, back facing Chen.

He knew the man had noticed how Sehun had looked at them and he knew the older man had drawn some conclusions for he had been acting weirdly with him. The conversation had, however, surprisingly not been brought up by either of them before they fell asleep. Well, before _Xiumin_ fell asleep. The other had tried and had been _reeeaaally_ close to being able to but suddenly he was fully awake on this mattress that seemed to get firmer and firmer under his back as the minutes passed.

He wasn’t actually thinking about which conclusion his friend had drawn or the meaning behind that look Sehun gave them but the thoughts would sometime appear in his mind between memories of Shanghai and things his students had said. He wasn’t trying to push them away; he would analyse them when they would come and analyse the information he had but was simply not stressing himself over it. When other things came to mind, he accepted their existence.

However, it still somewhat bothered him and eventually he realized he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep any time soon.

He went to the Korean dorm and knocked at Baekhyun’s door. The latter sleepily gazed at him, his head poking from behind the door. He closed it behind him as he walked outside.

“Dude it’s 2h45 am, what the hell do you want?” The Korean whispered.

“Do you have a moment?”

Baekhyun paused for a second; his attention caught something else. He looked back at him, sporting a judgemental expression.

“If you’re horny because of Tao and Kris: I shall remind you that I have a boyfriend.”

Chen raised an eyebrow: “Where the fuck did that come from?”

“Are you deaf?”

The Chinese man concentrated on the dorm’s noises. He surely heard. _Maybe that’s why I couldn’t sleep._

“Oh. No, no. It’s not that: I wanted to talk.”

Baekhyun looked exasperated.

“It’s 2h45, Chen,” he whined.

“So, you _do_ have time.”

“I hate you.”

After a moment, the Korean man concluded that Chen had been serious about having this late night - or rather early morning - discussion.

“Fine, but let’s sit down and don’t mind me if my eyes close a little.”

When they were installed in the Korean dorm’s living room, Baekhyun, a glass of water in hand, hurried the other to start:

“Okay, so, to make it simple: just after we transformed Sehun, he looked at Xiumin gē and me twice.”

Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at that, not understanding where his same age friend was going, but let the man continue nonetheless.

“First time: he looked confused but eventually he got something and smirked and, second time: he had just asked if it was normal that he could see relationships between people and, when we replied that yes, he did it again. And, well, it got me thinking that maybe it was something like when you discovered that Lay and Suho were mates that way.”

“Wait, you think Xiumin hyung could be your mate? But you guys are two males does it still work?”

“I don’t know. I never met anyone who’s mate’s sex was the same sex as them but then again there are big chances that they might have been staying in the closet. So, maybe, I don’t know. It might be possible, after all our animals aren’t really different from other animals and I know it’s possible in the animal kingdom so why not us?”

“Did you talk about it with hyung?”

“Not yet.”

“Mmh.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t see anything between gē and me back when you still could.”

“Sorry, if I did, I don’t remember. I couldn’t really see them well by the time I got here and didn’t know what it was until Suho and Lay officialised stuff so...”

“It’s fine, thanks anyway.”

“Why don’t you simply go ask Sehun?”

“From that smirk I can tell he’s clearly playing with us. He won’t tell us, it would be too easy.”

“Mmh.”

“I feel like it might be that. There’s this thing grandma told me back then...Now that I think about it, it could mean that gē’s my mate...”

“Which gē?” Luhan came in.

Baekhyun sniffed: “You’re in heat?”

“Yep. Jiējie was right after all.” He went for the freezer, taking out an ice cream tub.

“You should talk with Sehun,” Chen suggested.

“Already did. It woke him up and he realised everything: he knows I’m his mate and he is mine, he knows I’m in heat and what that means and we talked about how we wanted things to...hum...continue starting from now.”

“That’s great,” Baekhyun commented, an honest smile on his face.

“I’m happy for you,” Chen added, “do you...Consider yourselves as a couple now or..?”

“For now that’s...No. It’s weird...When he gets eighteen maybe but for now-”

“Isn’t he already eighteen?” Baekhyun frowned.

“He was born in ninety-four, that makes him seventeen, I’m pretty sure.”

“Oh, right,” the Korean realized, “international age.”

“But how are you going to pass your heat?” Chen asked.

“I’ll see. We’ll see.” Luhan took a bite of his ice cream. “Sehun offered to help and all but I’m just...I don’t know it kind of weirds me out...He’s my dìdì…It's...I don't know. It's weird." 

"Even when he would be eighteen?" 

"What do you meant?" 

"Would you still consider it weird to do the do with a legal him?" 

"Oh...Yeah, kinda." "You need to stop seeing him as a kid, hyung," Baekhyun spoke, "he's been through shit and it wouldn't be his first time...well, with a man yeah but...he's not a kid. He was never a kid to start with." 

"Yeah I know but-" 

"Is it because he's a man?" Chen questioned. "I'm pretty sure he would understand-" 

"No, it's not that."

That kind of surprised the other two. 

"So you...Can..." Baekhyun was trying to find the proper words. "Look at him in that way?" 

"I...Yeah. I can." Luhan was slightly flustered as he confessed. "But the thing is every time it just feels wrong." 

The sitting men frowned. 

"Could it be because subconsciously you're putting yourself barriers?" Chen proposed. "I mean you've always considered yourself hetero so..." 

"Yeah...I guess it could be that. But I'm really trying to tell myself that it's fine but it just doesn't work." 

"Mmh. There's also that you've worked in the sex industry so maybe...I don't know, maybe, now, as you're used to having sex for the pay you are looking for a reason and can't find any?" 

"How can you find stuff like that to say in the middle of the night?" Baekhyun asked. 

"I guess it could also be that," Luhan sighed, "anyway, you never answered my question."

“Who? Me?”

“Yes, you, Chen. I asked you which gē you were talking about. Is it, by any chance, Xiumin?”

“Yeah. He talked to you about it?”

“Mmh, he freaked out earlier.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Luhan sat next to them. “So you think he could be your mate? He thought you had a crush on him and was freaking out ‘cause he felt bad for not noticing and-“

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I don’t know you two should just talk and clear up stuff.”

“How can we clear up stuff though? We aren’t even sure of anything.”

“Isn’t it Sehun that create the mess? Why don’t you talk with him?”

“Nah, we went over that. He surely won’t answer us with that cocky look in his face.”

“Can I go back to bed now?” Baekhyun whined.

“Yeah, just go. I’ll stay with gē a bit more.”

“Mkay, goodnight!”

They waved him off and Luhan was back to his ice cream bowl.

“Does that help with heats?” Chen was referring to the dessert.

“I don’t know I just felt like eating some...You know I could always ask if you’re too much of a scaredy cat.”

“No, it’s fine...I guess I’ll just have a talk with Xiumin eventually.”

The younger man seemed pensive and Luhan watched him as he slowly pulled his spoon out of his mouth.

“Do you have a crush on Baozi?” Even if the both of them were mates it didn’t push away the chance that Chen _actually_ had a crush on his friend.

He thought for a second before giving an answer:

“I’ve always looked at Xiumin in a special way...I wouldn’t say “crush”, I wouldn’t say I have a crush on him but I won’t say I wouldn’t like us to be together but I also like our relationship now so I don’t really mind either way.”

“So do you like him?”

“Yeah. Well, I grew up with him and all so we’re really close and I do find him attractive...Kinda like with Baekhyun at the time: the way I feel about him I mean but more...Profound. But gē is hetero so even if we did end up together we’d probably never do it.”

“Well, that can change.”

“I know but I don’t want him to feel like he needs to change.”

“No, no. Of course. I’m just saying that like, this wouldn’t be some normal relationship. We’re shape-shifters, not humans, our sexuality does kind of vary depending of who we are mated with.”

“Yeah, I guess, but I wouldn’t mind. I might get a bit sad if kissing is a no too but...Wait now that I think about it you two had fun times together the other day and he came.”

“Yeah, he did. That’s what I’m talking about. It’s fluid, it goes with our senses. He’ll probably get hornier if you are so yeah.”

“Yeah...I guess...Anyway, that would be fun but it’s still a maybe.”

“You have too many ‘maybe’s, ask questions or you’ll go mad.”

“You say that as if you were worried about me but I know you just worry that you’re the one who’ll go mad.”

“That too. So, to spare my sanity: please get some progression done.”

He stood up, heading to the sink to put in his dirty dishes.

“I’m heading back to bed, you should do too: sleep helps get your ideas straight.”

“Yeah. Thanks for listening, gē.”

“Mmh, go find your man. You never know he might actually be missing your presence.”

“Yeah, yeah. You too.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

They turned around, each heading their own ways. Chen was about to open the door to the stairs when he heard someone’s rapid footsteps coming towards him and two arms circled his waist as the person reached his back.

“Luhan, what the fuck.”

“I wanted a hug.”

Chen tried to escape the embrace, weirded out.

“Gēge you’re scaring me, go sleep.”

“Fine.”

He gave a last squeeze and with another “goodbye” he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are slowly going to resolve and lead to an eventual ending. I'm planning on making another like "story" that is still this story just because I want to go more in depth with the others' backstories like what happened to Baekhyun, how Luhan ended up becoming a host and how Suho and Kris met. It will still be mentionned here but it will be a quick explanation and nothing more but I feel like there is so much more to tell D:  
> Btw, I started College so it will probably take me longer to post chapters, sorry :s  
> Anyway, baba! <3


	31. Tango for Three

The following morning, it was Kai’s turn to discover his mate. Chen had been right predicting that D.O and the younger man would end up together. It seemed like it hadn’t been a surprise to most of the pack either, except maybe for Suho.

The other members had noted an unusually friendly behaviour in D.O when he was with Kai which had set them to think that the both already had romantic feelings for each other while the Korean leader only thought it was normal for his friend to act that way. After all, D.O had always been ready to help whoever needed it and smile back at whoever showed him respect. So when Kai and him came back from a private discussion and had announced that they were mates and that they had decided to be, from then on, a couple, it was only normal for the Korean leader to be slightly taken aback.

He was, however, quick to accept their new reality and move on.

Contrary to Luhan and Sehun, they had decided to consider themselves as a couple although not changing anything in their behaviour. They wouldn’t kiss, didn’t whisper sweet nothings and didn’t cuddle – at least not any more than they already did -. That said, only two days had passed since they had officialised things.

At that moment, they didn’t see any need or feel any drive for physical contacts other than simple hands around the waist once in a while. They didn’t think of what their relationship would become; it would be a way for a moment and then it might be another way. They took it one day at a time.

That day, Kai had received a message from someone of their program telling them about a performance they wanted to set up to mark the beginning of the new session. The person had sent him a video of the choreography and, together with Sehun, he was learning it. They were installed in the hangar with the younger man’s cell phone plugged on small speakers and a mirror made of ice Xiumin had formed on one of the walls so they could see themselves while they practiced. It wasn’t a dance studio but it was definitely not that bad, especially since the hangar was spacious.

D.O, Suho, Lay and Kris were out to do the groceries while Chanyeol and Baekhyun had decided to go out on a date – which they didn’t want to call a date but that’s another story – so it left only the two dancers along with Xiumin, Luhan, Chen and Tao all reunited in the hangar. The four others had simply been speaking – mostly in Chinese – while sometimes glancing at the dancers. Chen had tried to learn the choreography with them but was quick to retire, going back to the couches with the other three and stating that he was “too old for [that]”.

Just like that, as Chen was back down on the couch, sitting comfortably next to him, Luhan felt his temperature go up. He wished he could explain why but he couldn’t be sure of anything. His deer might have perceived the pheromones emanating from Chen when he sat down next to him as he had been sweating; that was an option. It could also have perceived his mate’s, as he was dancing only a few meters away from him. The moves weren't sexy, they were instead rather rapid and technical – that could be attractive to some but not really to Luhan -, but as he pivoted and jumped around, the molecules could have been carried to him by the air. It wasn’t a really alluring thought but it was the most logical reason to explain his sudden heat wave. What could directly speak to his hormones without him noticing other than other hormones?

He knew it had been noticed by the other Chinese members when they turned to him. Chen and Xiumin were surprised more than anything while Tao was panicking to put it simply. If Luhan was feeling that way, it wouldn’t be long for him to feel it too and Kris not being there at the moment would mean he’d have to wait in that state which he really didn’t want to do.

The deer looked down, breathing in deeply. Maybe it would past. _Maybe._ He hoped it would pass.

_Sehun._

It wouldn’t pass. It was obvious it wouldn’t pass. He was starting to feel uncomfortable; every way he tried to sit seemed to be awkward and only sitting straight seemed okay and nothing more. However, eventually, he couldn’t even sit straight. The position forced his balls against the cushions of the couch reminding him of his soon to be libidinous state. He wasn’t yet going crazy but he knew it wouldn’t be long.

He leaned against Xiumin’s shoulder on his left. His face was burning and his entire body felt like Jell-O. No way he would endure that any further.

“Sehun…” He tried to call, he really did but his fever was making him so weak it only came out as a whisper. Tao was quick to come to his help calling out for the younger man in a stern tone. Sehun didn’t react although Kai did. They saw the darker man glance at them in the mirror to then glance at Sehun but his friend did nothing of it and continued with his dancing. The only reaction they distinguished in the youngest was a smirk and Luhan hated him for it.

_That…Brat!_

He was fucking around. Seeing his smile, Luhan instantly understood that Sehun wouldn’t be doing anything only to irritate Tao. _Are you fucking kidding me?_ He wished the younger man would choose another time to have his childish revenge on the Chinese but it seemed like he wouldn’t have what he wanted.

As his temperature went down he looked to Xiumin. He gripped his friend’s shirt, his eyes begging.

With the hand he had around the other’s waist, the smaller pulled him on his lap, trying to ignore the others in the room. Luhan’s eyes had been on Sehun as he had sat down hoping maybe he would react but the only thing he got from him was a small grin and a giggle. He was certainly decided to annoy Tao and him by the same occasion.

He wanted to groan to express how much he was exasperated but instead the sound came out more like a cry. That was even more frustrating.

He felt two hands move lower in his back, reminding him of Xiumin’s presence under him. He tensed up and turned to stare at his friend; his eyes seemed to be proposing something. Heat pooled back in his body, making his back arch. As his hips moved back, his arousal rubbed on his boxer’s fabric. When his friend’s lips caught his eyes he didn’t even hesitate to kiss him.

It had started off quite rough translating Luhan’s impulses in movements but with Xiumin taking the lead, the kiss quickly became more languid, more passionate. It was fascinating how natural, how right it felt for the smaller man’s lips to be on his although they had never kissed.

For a few seconds Luhan had forgotten they were in the middle of the hangar. He was only reminded when he heard his name being called. He turned to his right and noticed Sehun standing close to the stairs, signing him to lead the way. He didn’t wait to be asked twice, with a thanking peck on Xiumin’s forehead he ran up the stairs, grabbing Sehun’s wrist to make sure he followed. Tao was nowhere to be seen.

 

 

 

 

He pushed Sehun inside their room, closing the door behind him and quickly leaned on it; his legs wanted to give up.

One minute he was melting and the other he was straightening up, reality sinking back in as he met Sehun’s gaze. He didn’t look scared or anything, in fact, he seemed to be quite alright with the situation, patiently waiting for Luhan to guide him to their next movements, but the older couldn’t help but feel bad, awful even.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry…I…”

“Why?”

“For this and for…” He didn’t dare meet Sehun’s eyes. “God I kissed Xiumin in front of you…”

“I don’t mind.”

“Shouldn’t you be angry? Shouldn’t you be jealous? It would be alright if you were.”

“Hyung, are we going out?”

Luhan looked up. He was mostly confused.

“Maybe I missed something but, last I remember, we said we weren’t a couple. So it’s not my business if you go kiss your best friend. Not like it would really matter to me even if we were going out…If you went and kissed Chanyeol my reaction would probably be different but…”

“But you…”

“The thing is it’s not about me right now Luhan, it’s about you.”

The younger’s tone surprised Luhan. He sounded so confident, it made him feel smaller. Not quite “small” but really “smaller” and it made him look at Sehun like a fellow adult rather than a child.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” The latter asked.

It took Luhan a while to answer but eventually words came out of his mouth: “I want to, but not now…I really want us to work out but for that I feel like we need to know each other more before jumping to being a thing.”

“Okay, let’s do it that way then. I don’t mind. And by the way, for earlier, I wanted to thank you. You should have seen Tao’s face when Xiumin hyung and you started kissing, he was so pissed it was hilarious. So thank you.”

“You’re welcome, I guess.”

Sehun smiled and it was contagious. The both of them laughed at how silly Sehun’s revenge had been as well as maybe the reason behind Luhan’s nervousness.

Slowly, he was reminded of the heat in his body he had been ignoring and looked away. He moved from blocking the door:

“You should leave for now,” he spoke.

“I’m not leaving.”

“You have your choreo to learn,” the older continued.

“If you want me to leave tell me ‘I want you to leave’.”

No answer.

“Okay come here, I have an idea.”

He went to lie on the bed and Luhan followed, uncertain. He sat on the edge.

“Come on, lie down.”

He frowned but did so nonetheless. He lay on his back while the other one lay on his side, facing him.

“Okay so, I don’t know much about you and you don’t know much about me so let’s just ask each other questions, cool?”

_That is so not what I thought he would suggest._

“…Or did you want to do something else?”

Luhan’s cheeks went red.

“No!” He practically screamed and, when he glanced at Sehun, the younger was mocking him. “No. Questions are fine.” He said, calmly this time.

“Okay, I go first.” The wolf snuggled closer and Luhan felt himself growing nervous.

_What kind of question is he gonna ask?_

“My god, calm down.” He hummed, thinking of the question to ask and let his fingers drum against the other’s belly. “Ah! Got it, okay so, what’s your favourite color?”

_What?_

“White,” he answered.

“Really?” Luhan’s breath hitched as the younger’s hand moved over his chest, his thumb brushing his right nipple. There was cockiness in his voice as he continued on with the subject of his past question. “I thought it would be like red or something like that. White, ugh? Is there a reason for it to be white or..?”

“Not really.” The older man’s voice was repressed.

“Alright.” He stopped.

 _That’s all?_ Luhan wanted to slap himself for the way he was thinking. He took a deep breath.

“Your turn, hyung.”

 _You little…_ ”What’s yours?” His mouth moved on its own.

“I also like white but it’s pretty much on the same level as black for me. So black and white.”

He was hoping Sehun would grant him another touch but it seemed that wasn’t in his plans. He waited for the Korean’s next question understanding that he would only do it when he answered his questions.

“Your turn to ask a question first,” the younger man declared.

_Ugh?_

“Hum…Do you play any sports?”

“Not really outside of school. I mean I dance and that’s physical as fuck but other than that…Yeah no, I don’t really play sports. Do you?”

Luhan hesitated to answer for a second. He had formulated his response in his head but was wondering if Sehun would do it again if he answered. He glanced at him and the younger man raised an eyebrow.

He took a deep breath. “I do.”

There they were again, the gentle fingers that rolled his nipple between their surfaces. He buried his face in the other’s shoulder.

“Yeah? What sports do you play?”

“Many…I like soccer best.”

The other stopped.

_No. Not already. Continue._

“I don’t play often because of my job but once in a while I go out with Xiumin and we play a few matches together.” Sehun continued. “I also like basketball and football and…” He let out a barely audible moan when the fingers pinched his bud, nails slightly digging in the skin. It cut his sentence and made Sehun snort.

Then, once again, the members stopped moving.

He was quick to understand what it meant.

They continued with that game for a while. The simple questions such as “what type of music do you like?” quickly became more serious and more personal while, with the other’s consent, Sehun’s hand had moved to Luhan’s shaft.

They started by telling each other what had brought them to Japan: Sehun explained that he had followed Kai in dance because the man didn’t feel like going alone and Luhan said that he and a friend he had back then had decided to go there to study music. At least, that’s what the younger man had been able to understand between groans and breaths. The older man had then asked how Kai and him had ended up being indebted to the yakuza and Sehun had told him about the Goku figurine they had wanted.

The next question Sehun proceeded to ask startled Luhan and, noticing his reaction, the taller man chose to slow his pace eventually stopping any motion as he didn’t receive an answer.

_“How come you became a host if you were studying in music?”_

“You don’t need to answer if that’s touchy.”

“No, no. It’s fine. Just give me two seconds.”

It was so far in his memory. _It will make exactly two years in March._

“So, two years ago,” he started and Sehun resumed his hand motions, “- I had been living with my friend in Japan for like half a year already - and she had her brother and sister coming over from China…She had asked me if it was fine if they slept over and of course I accepted but…what she hadn’t told me was that her brother would be sleeping in _my_ room. The rooms we had were really small so I knew they wouldn’t fit three in her room but…I had figured maybe one of them would sleep in the living room but she felt like it was impolite so she asked me, in front of them, if it was fine for her brother to sleep with me. She had thought since we were two guys it was fine so I accepted...”

“Then, during the night, while I’m _sleeping,_ her brother just decides to climb on me and he kisses me as if that’s perfectly normal and obviously I wake up and I try to push him off but he doesn’t want to listen saying that it’s to ‘experiment’ so I panic and throw him on a wall with my telekinesis and run out of the apartment.”

“And the thing is, I didn’t take anything with me; I didn’t have money, I didn’t have my cell phone...I didn’t even have my keys to go back and take it…And to be honest, I was sure I had killed the guy; when I threw him against the wall he went _in_ it and was totally knocked out so I was sure I would go in prison or simply expulsed from the country and back in China and I wanted neither.”

“So for one week I ran around Tokyo and hid and eventually Hotaru-san found me thanks to her friend who is a shape-shifter. If he hadn’t been with her, she probably would have never noticed me since I was hiding between garbage bags.”

“Ew,” Sehun spoke, stopping what he was doing, “garbage bags?”

“Mmh, I know. It’s disgusting isn’t it? I would hide there to sleep after the shops put them out for the next morning.” The younger man renewed his massaging and Luhan chose to continue his story: “Usually nobody ever noticed me but they did. So her friend helps me up but when he does that we both understand that the other is a shape-shifter and since he looks surprised and I’m utterly terrified because he’s literally the first shape-shifter I meet outside of China, Hotaru-san asks for an explanation and Rap- ah yeah his name was Rapmon - tells her I’m a shape-shifter like him. I’m pretty sure that’s the moment she decided she would make me work for her because she proposed to take me to her place and after feeding me and all she asked if I wanted to work for her host club…Eventually, I accepted because she said she would give me an apartment with furniture and she would pay for it all. I was totally aware that it was…Fishy but, at the time, I was certain there was no other way for me to continue to live…Although in the beginning I regretted it, today…ah.”

His body tensed, his hips moving on their own. For a second, the only thing he could concentrate on was the firm hand around his cock that had just picked up it’s a pace.

Just like that, it stopped once again.

_Fuck you._

“Why did you regret it?”

He remembered his first week of being thought. What Hotaru-san hadn’t said when she had made him sign a working contract was that she had planned for him to be some kind of special host; basically a part-time prostitute so that he would be more gainful. So of course, she had him trained to do his job properly.

However, there was no way he would tell that to Sehun.

“’Cause learning everything was hard on my mind.”

A simple stroke. _Oh no you little shit._

“What did you have to learn, hyung?”

_Fine. You wanna know?_

He turned to the younger man and looked him straight in the eyes as his hand travelled south. Sehun maintained the stare but after a few slow but hard strokes his eyes rolled back and his head turned to press into the pillow to muffle a whine.

Luhan gulped, the corner of his lips lifting unconsciously.

“Do you want to know what I learned, Sehun?”

The younger man nodded. Luhan paused: “What?” He questioned.

“Yes.” The other didn’t need to be asked twice.

The deer smirked. “I was taught how to please people.” He whispered, leaning close to Sehun’s ear as he sped up. He felt the other’s penis harden in his grip and a grin spread further on his lips.

The younger was quick to wipe it away, pulling on Luhan’s shirt and leaning forward to capture his lips. It left him dumbfounded for a good fifteen seconds. He wasn’t sure what to do. This most likely meant something for the other. This meant “I love you” didn’t it? For most people that’s what it meant. For most people it was what differentiated “making love” from “having sex”. Was it what it meant for Sehun too?

He stopped questioning his action when the other’s hand rejoined with his arousal. He closed his eyes and let himself be immersed by the sensations.

 

 

 

 

Three times. _Three._ And Sehun had learned _manyyyy_ things about his body. He didn’t even know how it was holding up or even simply how his dick was still going hard. He might have been young but two climaxes in a day was usually pretty much his max. Of course they took breaks in between where Luhan would sleep a bit – his fever had peaked to new levels – and he would go out of the room to get glasses of water and use the bathroom.

After that third round, he left the room again to stumble upon Kai in the kitchen. The other was looking in the refrigerator and when his friend pronounced his name, he jumped.

“Dude, you scared me,” he sighed.

“Wae?”

“I didn’t expect anyone to be there.”

“Many people live here?”

“Yeah but we’re all staying in the hangar cause no one wants to come in the dorms. Can’t you smell?”

“It’s that bad?”

“Yeah dude, I’m the only one that comes here cause I can leave fast. And on that, I shall leave.”

An idea popped in Sehun’s head.

“Wait a sec.”

“Mmh?”

“Wanna join-" realisation cut his sentence, “fuck I forgot you had a boyfriend now.”

The other one laughed.

“Yeah, it’s weird isn’t it?”

“Could you ask D.O if it would be fine with him for you to join us?”

Kai stared at him. He looked down to his friend’s private parts and then to him.

“Having…Problems?”

“No, surprisingly. It’s just that his libido is never ending and I feel like a third person might help.”

“Wait but did you ask him before proposing?”

Sehun hesitated for two seconds: “No.”

“Dude you don’t just impose a threesome to someone, go ask him. I’ll go ask D.O.”

With that he was gone and Sehun went back to his room after filling their glasses of water.

“Hyung?” The door opened to let him in. It closed in his back afterwards.

Luhan was lying on the bed, nakedly clinging to a pillow. He didn’t bother looking up.

Sehun sat next to him on the mattress, poking his back to get his attention.

“I don’t want to drink,” the older man protested.

“You should drink.”

“It’s…Uncomfortable when I move.” He gulped. “I don’t understand…The waves aren’t supposed to come back this rapidly, are they? I barely have time to rest.”

“I’ll help you sit up,” Sehun said putting the glasses on the night stand.

Luhan didn’t need his help. He pushed himself up quickly, hiding his lower half with the pillow he had been clinging to.

“Or not…” Sehun mumbled. “Do you want me to give you a glass or will you reach for it yourself?”

Luhan turned to estimate the distance between him and the table. He sighed. Turning to Sehun, he asked for help which made the other giggle.

When Sehun gave him the glass, he refused to hold it.

“Come on, hyung.” The Korean whined.

“Take some in your mouth and kiss me.”

After a brief judging look, the younger man complied and did as he was told, tossing the pillow that was lying on the other’s lap to sit on his tights.

When the Chinese had drank all the water that the glass contained in that unconventional way, Sehun spoke:

“I invited Kai to join us.”

“Huh?” Luhan’s eyes were hazy as he kept them on the wolf. He moved back as he realized what his dìdi had said. “But D.O…That’s not right.”

“He went to ask him.”

Sehun could sense some kind of excitation mixed with guilt in the older man. He frowned.

“Sehun?”

The voice was coming from the other side of the door.

“D.O says it’s fine.”

“Okay.” Sehun glanced at a nervous deer and then back to where Kai’s voice was coming from: “Can you wait a moment?”

After Kai accepted, Sehun turned to Luhan.

“If you don’t want to it’s fine too, you know. I thought it might be more satisfying for you if we were more, that’s all.”

“Would you mind?”

“If we didn’t do it? No, of course I wouldn’t…”

“No, if we did, would you mind?”

“Oh…Well of course I wouldn’t mind, I’m the one who proposed it in the first place.”

“Because it’s a good idea, I just…Don’t really know how to…Go with it…”

“You never had a threesome? It’s like sex but with one more person.”

“I had a threesome before, once, I think. But I was working. It’s not the same thing now.”

“How is it not the same thing now?”

“This is not work…This is…I know you and Kai.”

“Hyung, do you like your job?”

The question startled Luhan for a second but he answered nonetheless: “I do.”

“What do you like about your job?”

“I…” He frowned slightly, looking for a reason. Some kind of joy, a feeling of fulfilment pulled on the edge of his lips. “I’m able to make people happier. Even if it’s only through sexual activities: I like knowing that I can please people. It makes me…Happy…But this is different, isn’t it? It should be…”

They stayed silently staring at each other for a good moment until Sehun spoke up: “You know, hyung, for a prostitute, you’re such a virgin.”

Luhan didn’t really know what to answer to that; he was torn between being hurt and laughing and it showed on his face.

A glint of confidence sparked in his eyes. _Alright, I get it._

The door opened and it startled both Sehun and Kai. The latter walked in, uncertain, under the eyes of the two others.

“Is it…Was it fine for me to get in? The door opened so I thought…”

“Ah ne, it’s fine,” Sehun answered after confirming with his partner that it was indeed fine, “come here.”

He sat next to them on the bed, still hesitant. It made Sehun laugh.

“Are you gonna keep your clothes on? It’ll get dirty…”

The comment seemed to have calmed Kai. He smirked: “You miss my abs this much? I’ll keep my shirt on, just to tease you.”

“What of your pants?” It was Luhan’s turn to ask.

While Kai looked for cocky words to reply, Sehun took the liberty to swoop his hand in his friend’s sweaters and briefs, reaching for his penis. In his surprise, the other laughed.

“I think I might take them off eventually…”

The two youngest were looking at each other with some kind of chemistry in their eyes; it wasn’t the first time they had done something like that. Back when Kai still had a girlfriend, a year before, they had done it twice with the woman simply wanting to try out things.

“Need help with that?” Sehun had proposed, an idea enlightening his eyes.

“I might.”

And the paler Korean man turned to Luhan: “Hyung?”

The latter instantly went red up to his ears. Clearly it surprised him that Sehun didn’t propose himself but the younger didn’t regret doing so. He felt something spark inside the other. _You want to, don’t you?_

As the oldest didn’t answer, simply looking at him, Kai grew uncomfortable. 

“We could do things more slowly if you wanted to-” He suggested.

“Lay down here,” the other replied, patting the space on his left.

Kai was confused for, in his ears, the command didn’t have any link to what he had just said, while in truth, Luhan had just declined his proposition.

Understanding that, Sehun moved off of the latter’s lap and took out, at the same time, his hand from his best friend’s pants. It brought Kai back from his distraction and he teleported – because it was faster – to the spot the deer had indicated.

Already, Luhan was straddling his legs, his fingers digging between the other’s skin and clothes and bringing both underwear and sweat-pants down slowly. The tip of his fingers brushed on Kai’s tights until his manhood was entirely uncovered.

Sehun admired, sitting on his legs next to them, how his interest grew happier and happier as the seconds passed. _Wow…He really likes this…_

“Not more than that?” The older man said as he passed his fingers over the other’s close-to-flaccid member. He grabbed the bottle of lube he had forced Sehun to go steal from Baekhyun’s room and let some spill in his hand before he grabbed the other’s dick.

The strength with which Luhan gave the first stroke forced a gasp out of Kai’s mouth and his friend couldn’t help but giggle. With a few others of similar vigor, Kai became visibly aroused and so did Luhan.

When the latter dove on his friend, taking him inside his mouth, Sehun moved behind his partner. He put a hand on the other’s back to maintain his balance and, at the same time, to warn him of his position. He reached for the man’s shaft and pulled it backwards so that the tip was directed to him. The feeling of a hand on his sensible skin didn’t seem to surprise Luhan, the man continuing to bob his head diligently, however, in his grip, Sehun could discern how much it enchanted him.

With a low hum, the deer confirmed the younger man’s suspicions. The latter raised his head hearing his best friend’s silent grunt.

“Hyung, you’re really good at this,” Kai affirmed and, as an answer, Luhan let out something alike a giggle; warm and joyous.

 _Cute…_ Sehun’s gaze went to the other’s bum.

He pecked it.

He laid a few other kisses, getting each time closer to his coccyx and when he reached it, he gave it a small lick. He looked up to Kai, smirking slightly as an idea popped in his mind. The other replied with a similar expression.

When Luhan felt the younger man’s tongue on his rim he straightened up, letting his previous occupation slip out of his mouth. He turned around and met Sehun’s gaze.

“What are you doing?” He asked hurriedly although his mood hadn’t changed.

The other’s mouth left his skin, raising an eyebrow.

“Is that a no?”

“I- It’s not a no…I was just sur-”

His breath hitched, cutting his sentence, when Kai decided to pinch his nipple. His back arched and his eyes closed as he bit his bottom lip.

With a smile to his friend, his partner in crime, Sehun leaned back down. When he licked the hole once again, the muscles there twitched.

Just as he would do to lips, to a mouth, the wolf kissed and sucked, leaving trails of saliva here and there while Kai continued playing with the, now two, nipples. The paler man even inserted his tongue at one point, exploring the bit it could reach.

His partner’s moans were long and sometimes high depending on how the tanned Korean man’s finger would brush again his buds and on how delicate the other’s licks could be and how his breath tickled his flesh.

At some point, the oldest of the men in the room reached for his penis but, sadly, it was already in Sehun’s hold and the latter watched, amused, at how the other's arm stayed in the air for a solid fifteen seconds wondering what to do. His hand opened and closed into a fist and his arm bent and unbent. It tried to reach passing above his back but, realizing that wouldn’t work it tried the under option again. In the end, his hand posed itself, once again, on the sheets next to him and fisted them.

Sehun straightened up and searched for the lube bottle while soothing Luhan’s back with one hand.

Hearing the cap open, the older turned to him again: “What do you want to do with that?”

“Can I?” The youngest wondered, pointing the Chinese man’s butt.

“You don’t know how to do it.”

“I remember how you did it for me.”

He poured the liquid generously on his fingers. Luhan cringed internally. _That’s way too much…_

“If you want, I can do it for you,” the more experienced man proposed.

“Nah, I want to do it.”

“Dude you had butt sex?” Kai exclaimed and while the host was turned to him, Sehun took the opportunity to enter a first finger.

“How come it gets in so easily…”

“It’s not my first time, contrary to you, Sehun.”

“Oh my god, you did,” Kai’s mouth was wide open.

“What?”

“You had it in the ass!” He was now smiling widely. Sehun only laughed as an answer; he was focused on finding his partner’s prostate gland.

He tried for a moment during which Kai continued, more gently than before, to stimulate the Chinese's bosom. It wasn’t long before Luhan spoke up, his voice patient: “Start moving your finger.” It wasn’t that the other couldn’t find his spot but rather that it had never been a very sensible place for him and he didn’t want Sehun to spend hours just trying to get a reaction out of him because, unless he was faking, he probably wouldn’t have one.

He felt kind of bad for the Korean for he seemed frustrated that he hadn’t been able to grant him the delectation he had been able to feel when the host had initiated him to the wonders of anal. That darker mood quickly passed when he started moving his finger.

Somehow, the lewd sounds the overabundance of lube provoked lifted his spirits as he slowly brought the member in and out.

The older Korean man removed his hands from his hyung’s chest, choosing to simply watch the interaction before him.

As the pace became faster, Luhan felt his temperature rise. He grew dizzy, settling on his elbows between Kai’s open legs. Sweat began forming between his bangs and forehead. The air felt warm, his face fiery.

Sehun was quick to realize that he could already enter a second finger and he didn’t wait before doing so.

With a quick glance under him, Luhan could see his mate’s hand around his shaft as he moved his fingers inside him with his other hand.

“Ya, Sehun,” Kai called. It made their head jolt up to look at him. “Could I try doing you?” He looked down to Luhan: “Well, if hyung doesn’t mind though. Like after he does you…Would you mind?” The latter shook his head tiredly.

“It’s fine by me…If you want you could do that now, I can finish preping myself…”

There was a third finger inserted. By then, the Chinese’s breathing was rapid and it confused him. He felt hot, burning inside, but it didn’t feel like he was being pleasured or anything. He just felt hot. It was often that way when he did anal – especially the first times – but never to this extent.

“I think I’m soon to be done though,” Sehun commented.

“Kai, do you want to go first?” Luhan proposed. “I don’t mind waiting.”

“Can I do you while he does me?” Sehun wondered, leaning on the older man’s back and slightly begging for him to accept.

“You’ll come way too fast,” Kai assured and his friend gave him a look that clearly read “fuck you”.

Luhan pushed himself up, standing on his knees to look at the side-table. Kai moved forward to hold his shoulders seeing his difficulty to stand straight. He opened the drawers using telekinesis and searched through each of them. _There must be…_

“Hyung, what are you doing?”

“Found it!”

He let a rubber band float to his hand.

“Why the rubber band?” Kai questioned.

“So he doesn’t come too fast,” he let himself sink on the three fingers inside him and turned his head to Sehun “Is that fine with you?”

He nodded: “Yeah, sure.”

Luhan stood up to remove the digits from inside his ass and, by the same occasion, turn around to put the rubber band on Sehun but he quickly fell back down, his legs weak.

“Hyung, I think you should lie down,” Kai suggested kind of worried and Sehun reached for the remaining glass of water, forcing it on the host’s lips who didn’t protest.

After he downed it, the other two proposed he stayed lying on the pillows, where Kai was before him.

“We could stop now if you want,” Sehun spoke.

“No!” Came Luhan’s answer.

“You sure, hyung?”

Said man nodded fervently.

With a laugh, they decided to proceed.

Luhan put the rubber band at the base of Sehun’s penis while, as instructed by the older man, the latter stimulated his already prepared anus once again to warm it up.

Once he was done, the deer lay back down on the pillows, opening his legs and giving him access to be inside him. As soon as he was, the Chinese’s face went red. _And he’s not even moving yet._

Kai placed himself behind his friend and Sehun’s hold on Luhan’s thighs tightened. The latter decided he would move his hips in an attempt to calm the other man down by making him focus on something else.

For a brief moment, the two were looking at each other and it seemed like they acknowledged that moment as their’s although there was a third party present.

However, like written above, that moment was brief. The thing is, the reason why Sehun had been more tensed in the first place was because Kai had decided to let the tip of his penis simply brush against the other’s rim, sometimes giving more pressure but never entering. The youngest in the room was quick to express his frustration to Kai – ending the moment he had with Luhan.

When that was done, the darker man granted him his wish strongly but slowly, forcing the other to lean on his interest and extracting from him a breathy and loud moan.

It surprised the deer when his dìdi clung unto him but he couldn’t help but finding the gesture adorable and genuinely arousing. That made him want to tease him.

He pushed Sehun back up while Kai thrust into him. He asked the latter to stop and the man in the middle frowned.

“Aren’t you going to move?” Luhan asked. He made sure his tone didn’t sound too serious.

“What?”

“You said you wanted to do me while he did you, but that’s not what’s happening, is it? You need to move a bit or I might change my mind.”

The other nodded but when he started moving his hips he realized how hard that would be. He started slow: every time he rotated his hips backwards to pull out he felt his friend’s cock pressing on his insides - on his sensible bundle of nerves - and every time he did so forward to press into the man under him he felt the member slide outside of his skin.

His breathing was loud and once in a while a mewl would fall off his lips.

Kai and Luhan looked at each other, panting joyfully, amused by the other’s behaviour.

They let him continue that way for a moment, asking for him to go faster once or twice, before Kai renewed his thrusting. It made the other jolt and come to a stop, slowly bending forward unto Luhan’s body but the latter pushed him up, two hands on his chest. “Continue.”

He obeyed. Or at least he tried.

When Kai’s rhythm – conveyed by the tempo of Sehun’s moans – became more rapid – too rapid – the youngest man couldn’t do anything but let himself be rocked by the other’s movements. The lying man could feel the roughness of the thrusts from where he was; it was no wonder tears had been brought to the Korean’s eyes.

This time, when he leaned on him, Luhan let him, welcoming him with open arms. He took shelter for himself and his cries in the crook of his neck, holding onto his shoulders tightly as Kai continued to slam into him.

The latter had a hand on his back, inciting it to arch, while the other was griping his black camisole, preventing it from getting dirty. His mouth was open, letting air in and groans out.

He slowed down and eventually came to an halt. Sehun’s cries continued lightly even as Kai pulled out. Luhan shushed him dizzily. _Is he already done?_ He was burning inside, it couldn’t be already over.

He saw the younger man reach for a bottle discarded on the bed sheets.

Desperate, Sehun didn’t wait for Kai to be back into him to continue moving his hips. He pushed into his partner multiple times, whining while he did so and eventually, his friend was back inside him, sliding in even more smoothly than before. The middle man circled his hips around him, begging for gratification he quickly received.

Quickly, the darker man was back to his earlier rhythm and, once again, the youngest transformed into a sobbing mess.

“Do you like that, Sehun?”

Kai only received a loud hum as an answer.

The Chinese man turned to its owner's face. He was clinging to his shoulders, face red down to his neck; he was enjoying himself.

Luhan reached for his shaft, warm inside, as he tried to meet with Kai’s hard thrusts simply to drive Sehun even crazier. The latter pushed himself up, trying to distance himself from the new sensations but his attempt was fruitless and he could only moan higher and louder as the sensations became overwhelming.

In the end, Kai was the first one to come followed closely by his best friend who collapsed in his arms, exhausted.

“Are you going to leave hyung like that, Sehun? Without release?” Kai’s voice was soft as he spoke, centimetres from the paler man’s face. The other stared at him, his puffy eyes unfocused. He didn’t seem to be listening.

“Wow, he’s really out of it.” The conscious Korean man commented which made the Chinese one chuckle.

Kai reached for the host’s chest as he held unto his friend. He fondled it to help him find release and eventually Sehun joined in with a clumsy, but more than welcomed, hand.

The oldest man panted loudly as he looked at the other two. Without a warning, Sehun thrust inside him strongly and he let a startled moan echo through the room.

He searched for his breath for a few seconds. _That was…_ The movement had sparked something inside him and, his hips moving on their own, Luhan started fucking himself with the younger’s shaft. Humming and hurrying his strokes, the deer came loudly, the youngest wolf wincing slightly as he tightened around his dick.

As he came down from his orgasm, the host let out a few whines, surprised by his own behaviour.

He relaxed and the complaints turned into laughs that the three of them shared together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii guuuyyyys!!! It has been a while, hasn't it? Gomen gomen :S Have this long-ass smut chapter as an apology. Also, sorry for the non-existent presence of the other couples (except like cameo Kaisoo) I swear they'll be coming soon ( ;) ) and by soon I mean in either one or two chapter. 
> 
> On that note, I don't really have time to talk further but if you have anything to say, you are welcome to comment. Thank you for reading, I love you guys :) 
> 
> (ALSO BTS` COMEBACK IS GREAT) 


	32. What Is Silenced Will Keep on Growing

The sound of the shower closing woke him up. He turned on his side scooting closer, hoping to meet a warm body. He never did. _Is he showering?_

Opening his eyes, he looked at the empty space besides him. _Ah right, he slept with Luhan and Sehun yesterday...._

A weird kind of pressure developed below his chest. Maybe Kai would stop sleeping in the same bed as him from then on?

He frowned and took a deep breath. _Okay, that’s just my hormones acting up._

He got out of bed and walked to the door, opening it. _It’s fine if he does that once in a while. It doesn’t change his feelings for you._

Walking in the kitchen, D.O noticed Luhan holding himself on the edge of the window, back facing him. He was only standing there, leaning on it.

“Good morning, hyung!” The Korean spoke.

The latter thought he saw the other tense up. He frowned.

He walked behind the counter, staring at an unmoving Luhan from the corner of his eyes. He got the rice cooker out from under it. When he was back up, the Chinese was turned to him, bags under serious eyes.

Slowly, he put the kitchen appliance on the ceramic, trying to understand what was going on in his hyung’s mind. He noticed the other’s jaw clenching.

Looking away, he turned to the window once again.

“What’s wrong, hyung?”

_Is it because of yesterday? Does he feel bad?_

“I feel awful.” The Chinese answered.

There was a moment. D.O wasn’t sure if he was supposed to speak or let the other continue. He chose the first option:

“If you feel bad for yesterday: Kai came to ask me if it was fine and I accepted so you-”

“It’s not that,” the deer cut him, “I…Obviously, I’m glad to hear that you did agree to it but…It’s not that. I feel…Extremely weird.”

The Korean man remained silent.

“I feel weird…Inside.” He patted his belly.

An image came to the younger’s mind but he deemed it irrelevant.

“Did…something happen yesterday?”

“No…Well, other than…You know…”

“Are you able to define what makes you feel weird inside?”

Luhan glanced at him.

Seconds passed, maybe minutes before he gave an answer.

He looked away: “If I wasn’t already a shape-shifter…I would believe maybe I got transformed by mistake…I don’t know…I didn’t see Sehun’s eyes turn red or anything…But…” He made eye-contact with the younger and held it. “D.O, I don’t understand what’s happening…Tell me it’s not what I think it is.”

He sounded so angry yet he still tried to keep his voice low. It scared the younger man.

“It feels like there is something new living inside me.”

_Does he mean..?_

“That’s not normal, is it? It can’t be…It can’t be possible.”

The pity Luhan read in the younger’s eyes made his throat clench. He slid down the wall behind him and curled up, taking his head between his hands.

D.O hurried by his side. He stopped in front of him and crouched. He put a comforting hand on the other’s knees. He wanted to reassure the other but he really didn’t know what to do. If that was true, what would Luhan do? What would the pack do? And Sehun? _Or maybe…_

The host looked up.

“I was...” He looked down again. “I was supposed to be the adult there...But I…Oh god…And Sehun’s fucking seventeen…Fuck!”

He punched the wall next to him hard enough to make a hole.

D.O did his best to remain calm.

“You couldn’t know that would happen.”

“I could’ve. I knew it was possible and if only I had thought about it I would have realized this was probably the way to make it happen…”

He clenched his jaw once again.

He stood up and the younger imitated him.

“Where are you going?”

“To see Lay.”

D.O stopped him without thinking, two hands on his collarbones. Luhan frowned.

The door to the Korean dorm opened to let in Suho and his mate. When the newcomers saw them in that position, sensing their tensed state they stopped in their spot.

When the two Koreans made eye contact, the older questioned the other. What was happening? Did they get in a fight? Should Lay and him leave? D.O then turned his gaze back to Luhan and Suho understood it only concerned him.

“I can’t sense anything, gē,” Lay turned their attention to him.

Luhan relaxed immediately.

“So it’s not…”

“No, gē. I don’t think it could be possible unless you were in your deer form. And even then…Sehun’s a wolf shape-shifter; I don’t think it could work.”

Suho understood what their worry had been about and empathised with the older man.

Luhan giggled but it was clearly forced.

“So I panicked for nothing.”

They simply stared at him as he calmed down. D.O tried not to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t stopped Luhan. If what they had believed true for a moment had indeed been true and Luhan had gone to see Lay. What he would have asked him.

“I’ll call Victoria if you want,” the younger Chinese man asked, “ask her if she knows what’s going on with you.”

“Thank you.”

He smiled softly.

“No problem.”

With that the man left the room and Suho asked himself if he shouldn’t do the same.

“Apart from…That…Did everything go well yesterday?” Suho asked awkwardly.

“Eh…Yeah…It did…”

“Good,” the leader smiled the best he could, “D.O, want to help me make breakfast?”

“Sure.”

In silence, they started preparing the meal and eventually Baekhyun and Chanyeol woke up and Luhan moved to the hangar with them. Later, Sehun and Kai did so too, the younger man leaving for the place where they ate while the other stayed with his boyfriend.

He leaned beside the smaller man and watched as he cooked. Soon, the Korean leader left them, finishing up a meal and deciding to go give it to the others with some plates. Only the pair was left in the dorm.

It made D.O nervous in some way. They were silent and no conversation seemed to come to the older man’s head when he wished there was. He didn’t want to stay silent. It felt like Kai would believe he had changed his mind about what happened yesterday and think he now held a grudge against him while that wasn’t true. Maybe he would translate his silent into passive aggressiveness?

The other straightened next to him and positioned himself to face D.O. The latter felt he shared the nervosity that the lack of conversation inspired him. The younger man took a loud and quick breath.

“Did you sleep well?” He started.

Visibly, the silence had also bothered him.

“I did.”

He couldn’t help the melancholy that emerged in his heart as he remembered his morning thoughts.

Kai surely perceived it.

“I wanted to come back after we…” He hesitated on the word to use a moment and D.O noticed, from the corner of his eye, that he was observing his reactions. “Finished…But Sehun was clinging unto me in his sleep.”

“It’s fine.” The older man did believe the words he spoke. “Did you sleep well at least?”

“I didn’t really sleep to be honest. I was uncomfortable in the position I had first chosen and since Sehun wouldn’t leave me alone…Ugh. My back hurts and all. It’s terrible. I wish I could’ve slept with you. You’re a way nicer cuddle body although we don’t cuddle often.”

D.O’s smile was barely noticeable for the eyes but greatly for the psyche.

 

 

 

 

When they moved to the hangar, Victoria was there with Luna, putting on dressing gowns. The older woman waved at them, yawning while the other grinned brightly.

Luhan rose up from his seat, followed closely by Lay and they signed the female leader to follow them.

They head towards the stairs but the woman stopped. She had been staring at Luhan.

“I don’t think it’s necessary to go somewhere else. I’ve already figured what you had and I think it’s something the pack might want slash need to know as well.”

The deer’s heart skipped a beat. He glanced at the other members, uncertain.

“If you still want me to tell you privately first it’s fine too.”

“No, it’s fine. Go ahead.”

All eyes were on Victoria.

“Alright…Luhan, you’re changing. You’re becoming a wolf shape-shifter.”

The man’s stomach dropped. _What does that mean?_

 _“_ What?”

 _But..._ “I’m already a deer shape-shifter…It doesn’t work.”

_Does that mean…I’m not a deer anymore?_

Luhan felt Lay get closer to him to be able to react quickly if the other felt unwell.

“Is that even possible?” D.O asked

“Yeah, it’s like for Amber.” Victoria’s answer surprised the pack members.

“Amber? What do you mean Amber?”

“She’s both a bird and a llama shape-shifter.”

“What?”

“Since when?”

 _So I’ll be both too?_ _Both a wolf and a deer?_

“Since forever. She was born both,” Luna laughed, “come on guys, you’ve known her for two years: I can’t believe she never told you.”

“If she did, I don’t remember.”

“We literally call her Llama all the time,” Victoria added.

“How were we supposed to know that wasn’t just a nickname?” Chen pointed out.

“Asking usually does the trick,” she replied.

“So I’ll stay a deer but I’ll also be a wolf?” Luhan was calmer.

“Yeah. You might have the symptoms of changing too, I’m not sure though.”

Lay put a comforting hand on his gēge’s shoulder. The older man’s head lowered, his feelings heavy in the air. When he turned his gaze to the stairs, Lay understood he wanted some time alone so he took a step back to let him pass.

Luhan left and a worried Sehun followed him.

“Is it that bad?” Tao asked after a moment, “I mean, I get he wouldn’t want to live the changing but…”

“I think it’s just relief,” Lay explained.

“That’s kind of an extreme reaction coming from him,” Kris commented.

“He still has a hard time dealing with the new hormones and stuff,” Xiumin justified.

“Lay, did he tell you about something? Do you know what he thought he had,” Luna asked.

“When we talked this morning, I believe he thought he was pregnant.”

“Oh my god, poor sweetheart,” Luna exclaimed.

“Did you clarify things?” Victoria wondered.

“A bit but to be honest I’m kind of clueless on the subject,” was the healer’s answer.

“Wait,” Kris started and Baekhyun finished his sentence: “it’s possible?”

The two didn’t seem to be the only ones to be surprised.

“It is,” the leader of the bird pack spoke calmly, “but the female has to be in their animal form during all the pregnancy. You’re safe as long as you don’t fuck as animals.”

“That’s just really disturbing,” Tao commented.

His reaction was amusing to the woman who laughed adoringly: “I guess for you it can be, indeed.”

 

 

 

 

“It’s not because I’m smaller than you, Chanyeol, that you would beat me in basketball.”

“But I would still beat you, Baekhyun.”

“But not because you are taller than me. I’m just more of a martial art kind of sportsman”

“Excuses.”

“Shut up.”

They entered the Korean dorm. Everyone had pretty much went to bed by that time and only the two of them had stayed up, having decided to go on a walk to test Chanyeol’s ability to deal with other people. School was starting soon and they didn’t want him going crazy in class.

A few steps inside the dorm, they realized that their friends had changed their plans and had preferred to not sleep. The air was dense.

“I’m not sure if we should blame Luhan’s heat or his symptoms…” The smaller man turned to his boyfriend giggling slightly.

His smile, however, faded as he saw the latter’s serious expression.

“Chanyeol?” _Don’t tell me…_ “Are you alright?” _It was bound to happen eventually…_ ”Do you want to go somewhere else?”

When the taller man turned to him he gulped. Chanyeol eyed him up and down, scanning him, and moved closer, placing his hands calmly on Baekhyun’s hips. The latter didn’t dare to move.

“I’m making you nervous,” the taller man said.

The other released the air he had been holding in.

“Sorry…”

“I should be the one apologizing.”

“No, its fine,” the smaller affirmed, “you can’t really control how you feel…”

“That goes for you as well, Baekhyun.”

The latter looked up to his boyfriend to smile apologetically.

Chanyeol leaned to peck the other’s forehead. When he straightened up, Baekhyun was looking down.

“Saranghae,” the taller man reminded and added a “mmh?” while lifting his partner’s chin to make sure he had heard. The other’s eyes were humid and it made him frown.

“Saranghae,” Baekhyun’s voice cracked as he talked.

Chanyeol cupped his cheeks and worriedly asked if he was okay. The smaller nodded as an answer. The other pecked his lips once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Soon, they were kissing passionately. Baekhyun tiptoed to meet Chanyeol’s lips, holding his waist. Wanting to feel his chest under his fingertips, the smaller unwillingly pushed his boyfriend and he stumbled backwards until his small unsteady steps lead him to bump on the counter behind him. He jolted and the both of them giggled.

As they did so, Chanyeol passed his arms around the other’s body, hugging him closer and slightly lifting him up the ground.

They still weren’t close enough.

The taller man picked his boyfriend up to place him on the ceramic structure with which he had previously collided. As Baekhyun was sitting there, it was easier to reach for his lips, to feel his body against his. His legs were on each side of the other’s hips, entwined in his back to be the closest possible to Chanyeol while his hands clutched the fabric of the back of his shirt.

The smaller man pulled him with his legs, making sure no distance, even minimal, could install itself between them, between their heated anatomies. Their hold around each other was so strong Baekhyun was floating a few centimetres above the counter, Chanyeol’s firm embrace lifting him off the ceramic.

When it was time for their lips to separate, the taller man’s head laid on his boyfriend’s shoulder, his breath tickling the sensible skin every time he let it out. The other couldn’t help but throw his head backwards with a soft grunt. _Ah shit._

“We should go somewhere else,” Baekhyun murmured.

Chanyeol looked up, his eyes questioning. Meeting them, the smaller felt obliged by lust to dive once again on the puffy lips.

He rested his arms on the other’s shoulders and his fingers in his hair, massaging his scalp in sometimes soft sometimes rough movements.

Baekhyun’s back was eventually drawn to the counter and Chanyeol’s body followed smoothly.

The smaller man griped the fabric of the other’s shirt, practically clawing his back as he did so. He was trying to find the edge of his blouse so he could get the piece of clothing off of him.

The other thought otherwise.

In no time, Baekhyun’s upper half was completely exposed and a warm pink spread on his cheeks.

“You first,” the taller man quipped, smirking as he did so.

The other’s eyes were wide open, surprised that the man was taking the initiative to undress him.

Chanyeol’s deep laugh resonated in his ears as he leaned in to peck his lips.

When he straightened up, he took his own shirt off and, seeing the man’s toned torso, Baekhyun gave his lips a kitten lick and gulped. His heart beat senseless in his thorax.

It wasn’t long before their pants were pulled down. They had agreed to carry on with their activities in the kitchen without even pronouncing words.

The lying man had been the first one to be stripped of his remaining clothes, his body being turned on its side shortly after for a quick but sufficient preparation.

Then, Chanyeol had immobilized his boyfriend’s legs on the counter with a strong hold on his thighs and had brought his ass closer to the edge, closer to him. Slowly, he moved his hard on to Baekhyun’s rim and inside.

Said man had tried resting on his back at first, both shoulders in contact with the promptly warming ceramic, but he rapidly understood that he wouldn’t be able to keep that way for long. Although he could have dealt, in the beginning, with the awkwardness of the unfamiliar position if it meant being able to see the taller man’s focused expression as he entered him, the body that was pressing deeper and deeper on his sensible walls made him understand that he wouldn’t be able to do so for much longer.

He turned on his side and hid his mouth with his hands. There were already some sounds that had escaped it and others that were threatening to do so. His eyes were closed tightly and he was most likely contracting muscles elsewhere because he felt Chanyeol’s hand massage his arm, shushing him.

When he started moving, said hand slid down Baekhyun’s back and unto the counter to provide balance for the other man. Although the man was tall, he still had to tiptoe slightly for his cock to reach the smaller man’s asshole. Rapidly, his legs grew tired and the pleasure wasn’t yet powerful enough to make him ignore the ache. He decided he would change their position, to Baekhyun’s dismay.

He was comfortable lying down, why did that have to change?

He grabbed his hips and made him slide on the counter until his legs passed the border. Instinctively, the smaller turned on his belly to be able to rest his feet on the ground and, once that was done, Chanyeol was back into him not even giving the other two seconds to process what had just happened.

His boyfriend yelped. The sound became many that he didn’t have the strength to control; his boyfriend’s pace was so fast that his mind couldn’t wonder two seconds into thinking that maybe he should hide his mouth with a hand to prevent any moans from echoing in the depth of the night. The presence of their friends didn’t even graze their minds.

The only time one of them was brought back to reality was when the taller man gripped Baekhyun’s right arm and rested it on his back. Then, a spark of fear stirred in the smaller man’s abdomen and suddenly everything felt dull.

Chanyeol must have sensed his gloomy mind for he moved his hand to clutch the other man’s before letting it go.

Reassured by the gesture, it wasn’t long before Baekhyun could once again appreciate the sensibility of his insides. The taller hadn’t slowed down when he had noticed his boyfriend’s mood change and, when he sensed that the other’s desire had kicked back in, he only took the opportunity to pick up his pace. He had a strong hold of Baekhyun’s bottoms and every time his fingers moved, be it to tighten his grip or to correct it, the wolf would react. Sometimes his breath would hitch while other times his moans would pitch. Any sound he made sounded like music to Chanyeol’s ears.

They were back again to ignoring their surroundings and time itself to only concentrate on satiating their thirst of satisfaction.

 

 

 

 

_Are they…Don’t tell me…Did they really have to do it in the kitchen?_

From the friend’s room that he now considered his, D.O could hear everything his friends were doing. _Everything._ It wasn’t only Baekhyun and Chanyeol that he heard but also Luhan and Sehun enjoying similar activities in their room.

_I hate my life._

His wolf was clearly getting all heated but he, as a person, truly wasn’t in the mood to take care of it, especially not when Kai was so close to him. The older man was lying on his arm, watching as his chest heaved and dropped.

He hoped he wouldn’t wake up. What if he did? He would most likely hear the others and sense how the air was heavy with their pheromones. He would smell him, his wolf, and notice its state. What then? Would he be able to control his own?

_Why do they have to be so loud?_

He could always try to run to the bathroom. He doubted the two in the kitchen would hear him but then again he didn’t really want to leave the room, to leave the bed. He wished he could simply go back to sleep.

_Why did you get turned on, you stupid wolf? I don’t want to have sex._

Kai’s arm moved and his hand went to pat his head.

_Fuck. Did he wake up? Did I think too loud?_

“You okay?” A sleepy voice asked.

“Yes.” D.O’s answer couldn’t be more affirmed.

The taller man’s fingers played in his hair.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

_It’s ongoing._

“I think I need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back.”

D.O pushed himself up but Kai stopped him:

“Are you shy?”

The younger man took the other’s moment of surprise to bring him above him; D.O then had an arm and a leg on each side of Kai’s body, staring straight into his eyes.

“You don’t need to. If you want something: ask. It’ll be my greatest pleasure to help.”

He punctuated his sentence with a smirk which slowly faded away as the smaller maintained a startled expression. When Kai frowned, the other man looked away.

“There’s something on your mind, right? Is it because of what I did with Sehun and hyung?”

“No!” He hurried. “No, it’s fine. Really. It’s totally fine.”

He laughed.

Again, Kai frowned and D.O turned his head. He got off of his boyfriend and sat on the bed, not daring to look at the younger man.

“You’re making me worry,” the latter spoke, “you don’t usually act that way. I know it’s something serious that you have on your mind.”

Still, the older man didn’t want to answer. Kai sat up and watched him attentively, concerned.

“I don’t want to have sex,” D.O stated after a while. _There. It’s said._

The other man was startled but he nonetheless answered calmly. “Sure. We don’t need to have sex if you don’t want to have sex. I’m actually quite sleepy too if anything-“

“That’s not what I mean.” D.O looked for words to explain.

“…You mean you don’t want to have sex with me in general, is that right?”

The smaller man’s heart skipped a beat, a nauseous feeling creeping inside him.

“No, no. That’s not…No.”

The other put his hands on his arms soothingly.

“D.O, it’s fine."

”Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I know if you could do something about it you probably would, but you can’t so it’s fine.”

The older remained silent.

“It’s because I’m a guy, right? It’s totally fine D.O, I understand you can’t control who you’re attracted to.”

“It would be the same if you were a girl. It’s not because of your gender…I’m just weird I guess.”

“You’re not weird. You’re probably just not ready-“

“It doesn’t feel like I’ll ever be ready…I’m going to be 19 in a few days and I’m still a virgin and it’s not even because I can’t get with someone it’s just because I don’t seem to be able to get in the mood with other people.”

“Is it fine when you’re on your own?”

“Not really…I’m sorry I wish I could do it with you…Maybe one day.”

“It’s fine, D.O. If one day you’re ready then we’ll do it and if you never are…Then that simply means no sex for us. It’s not that dramatic.”

The older man lowered his head. _But you’ll want to have sex…You can’t control that._

“Don’t tell me.” D.O looked back up. “That’s not the reason why you accepted the other day? Ah, shit. I should have followed my instincts. I knew there was something that wasn’t right.”

“But it’s perfectly fine with me, Kai. If anything it makes me happy to know you can still have sex.”

“No, D.O. That’s not right.”

“It doesn’t bother me, really.”

“You should have talked to me. Were you worried I would be mad if you had said no?”

“No, no…It wasn’t that.”

“So there was something?”

The smaller man gulped. Kai wasn’t menacing or anything but displaying his emotions all at once like that was making him nervous.

“When you came to talk to me, I could sense your wolf was already excited and the first thing I thought was “that’s it, that’s when I’ll have to tell him” but when you asked me if you could join hyung and Sehun I was relieved because that gave us a way to work out. I could be there for the romance side and you could go to others for sexual activities.”

“You were worried we wouldn’t work out if you told me you didn’t want to have sex?”

“I can understand that it’s important for some people to be contented by both a romantic and sexual life in a couple.”

“Oh my god, no. D.O that’s so wrong.”

Kai threw himself on his boyfriend to hug him.

“You should have told me. I would have never accepted Sehun’s offer if you had told me.”

“But it’s fine that you did.”

“No, it’s not. Not when the reason behind why you agreed is something like that. Not when it’s because you thought that would save our couple. That’s horrible. I feel so bad.”

“No, don’t feel bad. It’s fine, I tell you.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel guilty. I know you don’t feel as if I did wrong, that’s not why I feel bad. I feel bad for you. It breaks my heart to think that you thought sex would be so important to me that I would choose to break up with you for that.”

He sighed.

“I’ll never do that again,” Kai stated, “I promise.”

“Don’t make promises like that. One day you’ll be in rut-“

“Oh my god, D.O.”

Kai looked straight into the other’s eyes.

“You’ve probably had heats before, right? And you managed. I’ll manage too.”

“I’m just saying that it would be fine for you to go see other people. It can get very frustrating for the tension to just pile up. So if ever one day it becomes too much, know that it won’t bother me.”

Kai seemed greatly reluctant to the idea and the older man pursued:

“Let’s just not think about the future for now.”

“Alright. Let’s do that…So, in the present, what do you want to do? I’m kind of fully awake now…Don’t know about you.”

“Same for me.”

The younger man chuckled.

They became aware, once again, of the sounds that echoed in the dorm and D.O wished he were able to stop his wolf from feeling the way it was feeling.

“Do you want to go out?” Kai proposed.

“I wish but I don’t feel like passing next to Baekhyun and Chanyeol in the kitchen.”

“That’s when I come in handy,” the younger claimed, a cheeky smile on his face.

“Ah, right. Then yes, but we should get dressed; it’s cold outside.”

When that was done , Kai teleported them in the hangar so they could grab their coats and then outside the pack’s home and into a small street where he knew no one would be so they would be closer to their goal. They had planned to get late night snacks somewhere in the city.

“Don’t you get scared you might teleport right into a wall or something?”

“No because I visualize where I want to go and I go there. I’m more scared of teleport right on someone actually. That would be quite awkward.”

“Indeed.”

“Hey, but I was wondering: how do you usually pass your heats if you don’t have sex. I’m guessing you must have made a list of trick to help you go through it. Might as well hear them for myself.”

“It’s not written but yeah, I have my tricks. There are foods I enjoy more during my heats: sweets and foods that are rich in carbs in general and I just try to take care of myself more. I choose to take baths over showers and give the members a bit more affection…Now that I think about it I should maybe go do a special grocery tomorrow cause judging from the dorm’s atmosphere these days there’s a great chance I’ll get one soon.”

“You’ll all be in heat goodness.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if one of you got a rut too.”

“Mmh…Do you enjoy receiving more affection during your heats too? You talked about giving, but what about receiving?”

“Receiving is fine too I guess. Baekhyun tends to always jump on the fact that I’m in heat to be attached to me all the time as if he was a baby koala or something.”

Kai laughed.

“I don’t know if he’ll keep on doing that with Chanyeol around though.”

“Maybe, he always has a lot of affection to give after all.”

“Mmh, you’re right.”

“And if he doesn’t then I can always compensate.”

D.O smiled at him. _I’m glad to have you as my mate._

They arrived at a corner store and they both chose a snack for themselves. The younger chose chips while the other chose an ice cream double chocolate.

“Aren’t you gonna be cold?”

“Right now, that’s the point.”

As they walked out of the store, they heard their names being called in their backs.

“What are you two up to outside in the middle of the night?”

Turning around, they noticed Chen and Xiumin walking their way.

“We could ask you guys the same question.”

“It’s impossible to sleep with the noise they’re making,” was the oldest man’s answer.

“Speak for yourself. This gēge here dragged me out of bed because he couldn’t sleep.”

“That’s mean, hyung,” D.O stated.

“He did the same to me in the past; it’s only fair for me to avenge myself.”

“So, late-night snacks, huh?”

“Exactly,” Kai responded with a mouthful of chips. He swallowed before continuing. “Did you guys have the same idea by any chance?”

“Nah, we thought of going to spend the rest of the night in a hotel,” Xiumin answered.

“Oh, really? They’ll probably be done soon though,” D.O claimed.

“I won’t risk the possibility that they’ll start a new round after that one. “

“Okay, well, we’ll head back now so sleep well the both of you.”

“You too, sleep well.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D I had to be a tease one last time with XiuChen, I know I will be hated for it but I couldn't help it. Anyway, what I had to write for them didn't fit in the chapter so...:P  I am proud to announce that D.O is asexual in this story ;) I actually only realized he was this summer and I talked with my hyung because I found it fascinating how I hadn't realize that he wasn't sexual while he's my character and this is what he said (I think it's pretty accurate and inspiring): "When you write a story, you aren't just thinking about it, you are also living it partly inside of your mind. And sometimes the characters will "cross over" (...), making you the conduit for what your deeper, more independent part of your imagination wants to express. (...)  Even the more minute details can, and sometimes will, express themselves during writing." 
> 
> (also, I wanted to say: I don't necessarily agree all the time with the things the characters say and with how they deal with certain situations (I was writing something the other day and I thought I would just say it on here since I know sometimes I can make them say terrible things or simply have a way to see things I don't necessarily agree with.) 
> 
> I'm sorry it takes me so long to update these chapters, I am grateful for your patience. 
> 
> If you have any questions and comments on this chapter, write them, I'll be happy to read and answer :) As always, thank you for reading, I love you <3 


	33. The Confessing Unconscious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for injury, scars, mention of violence and mention of trauma.

“A love hotel?”

“Yeah. They’re cheap and have big beds.”

“I’ll start thinking your intentions are impure, gē.”

“Yeah, yeah. Think what you want.”

Xiumin and Chen entered the building, the older first. The latter looked around; it was the first time he entered such a place. The small grey corridor they had walked in was weakly lit by green neon lights on the ceiling. Other than the low background music, there was no sound, no sign of life. _How the fuck do you get a room?_

The older man headed confidently to a screen at the end of the corridor that seemed to be displaying the rooms. _Ah._

“You choose,” Xiumin whispered.

“Okay…” Chen answered in a similar manner. “Between three o three and two o five for me…What do you think?”

“I like three o three.”

“Let’s go for that one then.”

“Kay, follow me.”

They walked to a counter that seemed to be closed; there was an opaque fencing that came down from the ceiling and practically reached the counter but left a small space from where some more green lights beamed. As Xiumin talked, two hands appeared from behind it.

“Your room is waiting for you,” a voice affirmed after the older man had paid.

When they were further away from the counter Chen wondered: “Did he forget to give you a key or?”

“No, that’s just how it works.”

They took stairs to get to the room they had rented. On a wall of the stair cage, on the second floor, there was “Love is Here” written in purple neon lights with a red rose next to it. Chen noted that the English was kind of awkward. _“There is Love Here” would be better. Then again, it doesn’t really sound like a fancy quote._

When they reached the room, Xiumin opened the door and didn’t wait for him to enter. He hung his coat on a hook and went to sit on the large bed. Chen entered and closed the door behind him. He was surprised to hear it lock.

“I thought the lighting would be blue,” he commented, looking around the purple-lit room.

“Same. The screens often change the color of the images.”

“No pee in privacy?”

Instead of a wall to separate the bathroom from the room, there was a glass.

“Nop.”

“Is this where you came when you went out with girls?”

Chen went to sit with his gē on the bed.

“Love hotels: yes. This one: no.”

“I see. To be honest, I don’t get why we came here to escape hearing people having sex. Didn’t you think about the fact that we could have the same problem here?”

“I never heard anyone fuck in other rooms in every single one of my stays. I think the walls are soundproof.”

“Maybe you were just lucky.”

“Maybe.”

He spotted, above the head rest, a small and dark wooden bowl. It looked like it was made out of the same wood as the wall above the bed and the one where the entry door was. Looking at what was inside he saw, instead of what he thought would be something like candies, a few condom packets. _Considerate._

“Let’s talk about us.” Chen heard the older man say.

_As expected._

“Yeah, let’s do that.” He turned around calmly.

“I’m not sure how to start though.”

“Well, first, I’m not crushing on you, gē.”

He looked mildly surprised.

“Lay told you?”

“Luhan.”

“Really?”

“Mmh. I went to talk with Baekhyun the other night and he was awake. I ended up talking with him too and he told me that’s what you thought it was.”

“I guess that’s not it.”

“Yeah, no. And, thinking about it, I don’t think Sehun could have seen that. I mean: we’ve known each other since we were kids and he knows so it would be normal for our bond to be stronger but for him to make a face, he must have seen something he didn’t expect to see.”

They exchanged a serious look for a moment.

“You think we’re mates, right?” The older man assumed.

“That or he saw a ghost,” he articulated that with the most serious face Xiumin had ever seen on him.

“What?”

“I remembered Baekhyun telling me when we arrived that the first days of his transformation he would often hallucinate and even there was one time I woke up in the middle of the night and he was just in a corner of a room panicking because he had an episode of that. And then there’s Tao also having hallucinations and saying that he saw a ghost in the middle of the night at some point. So I thought, maybe it was the same for Sehun. Maybe yes he can see relationship strings but the two times he looked at us maybe it was only because he had hallucinated things. We know he had female symptoms after all…”

He was smiling and trying to control his laughter.

“Shut the fuck up, I know you’re fucking around.”

“It could be a valid theory though.” He clearly didn’t believe his words.

Xiumin laughed.

“Ngu eh nóng,” Chen spoke after a moment, “very much. But that doesn’t mean I want our relationship to change.” 

“But would you like it if it did?”

“If you reciprocated my feelings, I would gladly date you but I’m still happy even if I don’t. It would-“

“Only make you happier. Yeah.”

“Yeah.” 

The older man pondered on his dìdi’s words, his arms crossed, before he looked at Chen again to speak: 

“What if I wanted you to be the happiest you could?” There was a cheeky grin on his lips. 

The other smiled slightly and raised an eyebrow. 

“Only if that brought _you_ closer to that goal _too_.” 

“I think it would,” he answered, nodding confidently. 

With the younger man’s reaction, Xiumin couldn’t help but think he had taken the right decision and said the right words. 

The smile on his lips was bright and honest. It was nothing he had never seen but it still meant a lot. It confirmed him that what he felt for the other was true. 

“So what should I call you now?” Chen wondered. “Should I call you my boyfriend or..?” He cringed as he spoke those words. He hadn’t thought about that word before pronouncing it and now that he had, he was greatly weirded out. 

Apparently, so was Xiumin although he didn’t want to show it. 

“Nop, nop, nop. That’s weird.” They both laughed and the younger man continued speaking: “I’ll still call you my best friend…Just…You’ll be the best friend with whom I’m going out.” 

“Fine by me.” 

They shared another smile. 

“Okay, I’m sorry to cut this moment like this but I really need to go pee,” Xiumin stated. 

“Oh. Sure.” 

“Do you mind just turning around while I go?”

“Sure.” 

“Thanks.” 

Chen faced the dark wooden wall above the bed. As he heard his friend sit on the toilet and start to pee - _I fucking knew he would pee sitting down, that clean freak -_ he crawled to the pillows, curious to find what would be inside the drawers of the bed head. _I wonder if they have holy books here._

“Oh,” he pronounced as he opened a first drawer and looked inside. Xiumin chuckled and so did Chen. 

“What did you find?” The older man asked. 

“A prostitute catalogue.” 

The younger man heard the other laugh before he flushed. Chen closed the drawer. When the sound of the water running in the sink resonated in the small room, the latter turned around. 

“Did you ever call one?” He asked. 

“Yeah, once.” 

“And?” 

“T’was fine. She knew her business.” 

He walked to the bed, pulled the blankets up and laid inside. He closed his eyes. 

“Goodnight.” 

“Really?” Chen stood up calmly but still sulking.

“Yeah? Didn’t we come here to sleep?” 

After closing the light, the younger man jumped on Xiumin affectionately. The latter groaned and questioned his action. The other ignored him. 

“So you didn’t plan on talking about our relationship?” He asked instead. 

“Not at first. But as we were walking I thought, since we would be alone, it could be a good time to discuss things.”

“I see.” 

“The fact that we weren’t clearing things up was bothering me.” 

“Yeah, same.” 

There was a moment of silence before Chen continued speaking. He knew by the rhythm of Xiumin’s heart under his own that the man hadn’t yet fallen asleep. 

“Can we talk a bit more? There’s a subject I want to address and I don’t feel like I’ll be able to sleep if we don’t do it now.” 

“Sure. What’s up?” The other’s voice was small. 

“Our relationship…What does it mean? What does it include? Like…Are physical contacts fine or…We already cuddle and all so…I don’t know how to ask like…” He pushed himself up. “Is a peck on the cheek okay?”

Xiumin chuckled, his eyes still closed. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Okay…And on the lips?”

“Sure.”

In no time, there were lips on his. It didn’t even surprise the older man. He let a giggle escape his heart.

“Did you think about this often?” He wondered after the lips were gone.

“A few times. As a teen, I would often wonder what it would do, what it would feel like; to kiss a man. To kiss you.”

“Was I the one that made you question your sexuality?”

“I was already questioning my sexuality. You just so happened to be the there and the one I was the closest to.”

“What made you question your sexuality?”

Chen thought about it for a second. Indeed, what made him question his sexuality in the first place? When was the moment he started thinking he might not fit the “normality”, what triggered that thought?

_Right._

“Kris.”

“Really? Didn’t know he was your type.”

“No, that’s…That’s not it. Because he told us about Suho and his friend.”

“Ah…Yeah.”

When conversation stopped coming, Chen kissed the other again. Xiumin, that had been starting to fall asleep, smiled. _Are you happy, by any chance?_ The younger man took his bottom lip between his and did the same with the upper one afterwards. He pecked the corner of his mouth, then his cupid’s bow. He spent a lot of time on his upper lip; he seemed to prefer it over the bottom one. He was delicate in his motions yet insistent while he seemed to be slowly falling asleep.

After a moment, Xiumin saw fit to start participating actively; it was probably quite awkward to kiss unmoving lips although Chen didn’t seem to let that bother him. The younger man was slightly taken aback in the beginning but the other could feel him becoming happier and happier. Suddenly, their exchange was more energetic, more passionate and more playful.

“How do you feel about French kissing?” Chen whispered, lifting himself momentarily.

"Open to trying.” There was a smile in his gēge’s voice.

The other gladly heard his consent and dived back onto the softness of his lips.

Their bodies moved, seeking the more comfort in other positions. Chen remained above the smaller man but, now positioned on all fours, his posture was more solid. His hands were gripping the other man’s upper arms tightly while the latter’s laid on the hollow of his back. They would move as Chen’s body did, the fingertips brushing further on his back when the younger man would arch it and his thumbs grazing his belly when he would straighten up.

“You’re good at this,” the latter whispered.

“You’re not bad yourself,” the other replied.

Their breathing was deep and, more and more, the toping man would sigh into the kiss until eventually it stopped with him getting off the bed.

Xiumin opened his eyes, surprised but also slightly amused. _Are you shying away?_ They shared a stare for a moment. As they calmed down, they both took the time to get into their heads what they had just done and how involved they had been. The both of them couldn’t lie to themselves; the room had heated up just then.

“Let’s stop here for tonight, alright?” Chen spoke first.

The other man raised an eyebrow.

“So you don’t have any other question to ask me?” He insinuated, a smirk on his lips. He saw something flash in the younger man’s eyes but the beam died shortly after.

“Not tonight.”

He sounded sure of his decision; it was enough to convince Xiumin. _So you aren’t shying away after all…_

“Alright.”

They made sure to exchange a smile to reassure each other of their situation and Chen changed subjects stating that he had to go pee and asking Xiumin to close his eyes.

When he came back into the bed, the older man clung to him and pecked his cheek.

“Goodnight, best friend,” he joked.

“Goodnight, gē.”

 

 

 

 

_I will literally kill them._

Entering the kitchen in that calm winter morning had infuriated an otherwise merry D.O. _Is it impossible for me to have a tranquil morning?_ He had automatically spotted the ravaged counter that had been clawed and smashed as if bears had fought on it. The pieces of its borders had been gathered and left on the counter.

_These people…If they continue that way, our kitchen…We won’t even have any kitchen anymore. It’ll probably have blown up by the end of the month. Smashed dishes, holes in walls and now the demolished our demolished counter. What is it going to be next? Someone smashing the refrigerator’s door because they don’t find what they wanted to eat?_

He grumbled.

He took a few ceramic pieces in his hands and noted the extent of the damages.

He sighed and let the fragments fall back on the counter.

“You are so dead.”

He turned around and headed for the older men’s room.

_I will slam their door open, pull them out of their bed and drag the both of them by their feet to the front door to leave them to freeze outside. If I’m lucky enough, their stupid asses will be naked._

As he passed the corner of the hallway, he bumped into an imposing piece of a man. At first startled, he was quickly back on his fuming feet.

“You little shit.”

He grabbed Chanyeol’s ear and forced him to follow him to the kitchen. The latter complained.

“D.O, please stop.”

“Did you think cleaning up would make up for the fact that you fucking ruined our counter?” He pointed at said piece of furniture but the taller man didn’t look. He seemed rather tired.

“Sorry, D.O-“

“You better be sorry.” He let the man go.

“D.O…”

The younger man frowned. _What’s up with him? He’s way too serious all of a sudden._

“What?”

“…Follow me. Please.”

Chanyeol returned to his room followed closely by D.O. _What happened? Tell me._

Once they were inside, the older man walked to the bed and sighed as he leaned to put a hand on his sleeping boyfriend’s covered arm.

“Yesterday…I hurt him,” Chanyeol stated and D.O stopped breathing. “He didn’t say anything but this morning…”

The older man inhaled deeply. He decided that showing would be easier.

He uncovered Baekhyun who was sleeping deeply and peacefully on his side which revealed the state of his back. D.O had to grip the doorframe so he wouldn’t fall; his knees felt week all of a sudden.

His back was covered with pinkish glistening marks and blisters here and there. His buttocks were what were in the worst state. On each curve there was a large swelling that seemed to form the shape of a hand.

The dreaming man shivered and Chanyeol quickly wrapped him back into the blankets.

“I still don’t know exactly what happened in Baek’s past, but, I’ve gathered enough clues to believe that seeing new scars on his body would probably be quite…hum…”

“Yeah.” D.O cut his search for a word. He didn’t want the older man to speak anymore. “Go get Lay, I’ll stay with him.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

When he heard the door to the Korean dorm close behind the taller man, the other walked to Baekhyun’s side of the bed and sat on it.

He observed him, silent. The situation made him uneasy and he tried his best to simply breathe. He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them again he was surrounded by balls of light floating in the air. His eyes turned to Baekhyun knowing he was most likely the one that made them appear.

His expression was stressed.

“Baekhyun?”

He was most likely having a nightmare. From what D.O could sense, he seemed to be living something distressing.

_Why does it reassure you to have fluffy light balls flying around you?_

He patted his hair as an attempt to calm him down but things only worsened as he started crying in his sleep.

He cupped his face.

“Baekhyun, hey.”

The flying lights seemed to expend more and more as the older man’s fear deepened.

“Wake up.”

He wished he would. Not only for the man but for himself as well. He didn’t like what was going on. He knew way too well what the other’s nightmare was about. His head hurt tremendously in the remembering of that past.

In eleven days it would make exactly two years.

_Wake up please._

He heard Chanyeol coming back with Lay and Suho.

“Baekhyun?” The fire wielder’s voice echoed in the dorm as he sensed his mate’s state of mind.

The sleeping man flinched and his sobbing only grew more serious.

The others hurried to the room.

The beaming surrounding him kept getting brighter with the older man’s mood darkening, so much that he had to close his eyes.

_Shit._

He thought about the others that had only a few steps to do before reaching the room. If it continued that way, the light Baekhyun was creating would be enough to burn all their retinas.

“Guys, protect your eyes!” He yelled for his pack members before throwing himself on Baekhyun to hide his friend’s eyes from the blinding light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: *drum roll* It is official: XiuChen is canon in this story after 32 chapters of wait :D *confetti spiou spiou* (okay btw I had planned fucking but it didn't seem right (I KNOW YOU ARE GONNA SAY THAT IT`S ONLY ANOTHER WAY OF TEASING BUT IT REALLY ISN`T OKAY I TRY TO LISTEN TO THE CHARACTERS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND IT FELT LIKE THEY DIDN`T WANT TO DO IT THERE AND THEN SO BE A BIT MORE PATIENT JUST LIKE ME) so they stopped at making-out for now) ( btw #2: I`ve thought about something that concerns them for later but will probably write it only as a bonus chapter) 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this short chapter because next one is supposed to be angsty if I decide to follow my plan for once :D 
> 
> PS: There were so many comebacks since I last posted so I spent a lot of time listening to songs and finding new songs to listen which resulted with me falling for many songs like, for exemple: Red Velvet - Peek-A-Boo, EXID - DDD,  Stray Kids - Hellevator, Day6 - All Alone and JBJ - Fantasy...........So much music to listen to ;-; I feel blessed. (I've been listening to the soundtrack for The Great Wall while writing these days and crying because Ramin Djawadi is great and reminds me that I am able to feel emotions.) 
> 
> I'm talkative today it seems x) Anyway, I need to go to bed (it's finals starting and I have to do a shit ton of music reading tomorrow so...) <3 <3 <3 
> 
> OH WAIT I didn't really plan anything for XiuChen sex yet so if they do ever get to it, do you have any kink requests? Let me know in the comments what you would like and I`ll try to include it (I don't kink shame as long as the stuff you ask for is legally acceptable so no worries <3 Your kinks are safe with me <3 ) 


	34. May your Passions Guide You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for implied physical abuse, mention of trauma and mention of alcoholism.

“Dude. We already know you’re a flamboyant homosexual, no need to shove it in our faces.” Sehun commented after hiding his eyes from the sudden light that had escaped Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s room.  

The remark didn’t seem to please Suho who made sure to give him a disapproving look. He walked towards the room after they all went inside.

The commotion surely took Sehun by surprise; he had just woken up and left his room. He hadn’t planned facing multiple nervous beings so early in the morning. He hadn’t really planned anything else further than going to empty his bladder.

 

 

 

 

“D.O?” Baekhyun’s voice was muffled under the other man’s torso. He got off of him. When their eyes met, the older man giggled sombrely, wiping his tears. He sniffed.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” He grinned.

“No, it’s- “

“Where’s Chanyeol?” He cut him, turning around to look at the other side of the bed. D.O didn’t have the time to stop him.   

He winced and a small complaint escaped his mouth.

The others were quickly in the room. Chanyeol kneeled next to the bed, on Baekhyun’s side, while Lay climbed on the mattress and posed hands on his shoulder and hip. “Slowly turn on your side,” the latter demanded.

Suho was standing at the end of the bed, hands gripping forearms, frowning at the sight of Baekhyun grimacing as he moved back to his initial position.

Looking back at the wounded man, D.O noticed he was staring at his fingers holding the pillow case’s fabric.

The back of a hand caressed his cheek, Chanyeol’s, most likely. It seemed to make Baekhyun nervous for a second. The latter refused to look up to the hand’s owner.

“I’m so sorry,” Chanyeol whispered, his voice heavy with emotions he tried to contain, “so, so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Baekhyun muttered.

Suho and D.O exchanged a look while Lay visibly took a deep breath, lowering his gaze.  

Chanyeol frowned, not noticing for one second the reaction of the other three. “No?” Chanyeol snapped. Baekhyun looked at him, surprised by his tone. They all were.

Suho straightened up and making eye-contact once again with D.O, he signed him to leave. He didn’t need to be asked twice. He hurried out of the room and Suho watched him leave.

He noticed Sehun leaning on the door frame and asked him to follow the other. The younger man complied.

 

 

 

 

Bzz.

_Mmh?_

Bzzz.

He extended his arm to the night table. _Who’s calling me?_ His phone wasn’t there.

Bzzzz.

_Obviously, it’s not there. I left it at the apartment._

It stopped buzzing.

_It must be Sehun’s._

After a few seconds, it started again. 

He sighed and sat up, looking around the room.

Bzzzzz.

He stood up and walked to the pile of dirty clothes on the floor.

Bzzzzzz.

He found the younger man’s phone in the pocket of one of his briefs there.

The caller was labelled “Unknown” and Luhan grew nervous. _Could it be..?_ He hesitated before answering hurriedly to the phone in Japanese.

“Luhan?”

“Dochira sama desu ka?”

“It’s Baozi.” A sense of relief flooded his spirit. “Hotaru-mèi wanted me to pass you the message that you have a meeting with her this morning. Hiroya-gē will drive you there.”

“Oh. Thanks. When?”

“Like now. Apparently, he’s already there.”

“What?” He screamed in the handset.

“Ouch.”

“Sorry. He’s there now you said?”

“Yeah, that’s what she told me.”

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. I’m putting you on speaker phone.”

“Sure.”

He made Sehun’s cell phone levitate in the air while he ran around the room, trying to find underwear.

“Did she say where I was meeting her?” _I’ll have to dress somewhat nice if we go to the club._

“No. If you’re looking for clothes, she said: ‘don’t bother dressing fancy’. You could stay in your pjs for all she cares.”

 _Okay, at least._ He picked up random clothes from those already discarded on the floor and dressed up after making sure they didn’t smell.

“We confirm that Hiroya-gē is outside the hangar, waiting for you in his car.”

“You’re making rhymes this morning,” he laughed, stepping out of the room in a hurry, “thanks. You went to look?”

“Ah no, I just came back with Chen, we were out last-“

Luhan bumped into Chanyeol as he left the room he shared with Baekhyun.

“Whoa, sor-“

The Chinese man stopped his apology, startled by the atmosphere. The other man had frustration painted all over his face when he glanced at him after bumping into him. He didn’t even apologize and simply walked away furiously. Luhan believed he had seen a few tears ready to roll out of his eyes in their brief interaction.

He glanced into the room, wondering what had made him this upset. He saw Lay kneeling on the bed, hands on Baekhyun’s body that was lying down with his back facing him. The Korean man was trembling and, in another situation, he could have thought that he was laughing but, judging by the context, Luhan assumed he was crying.

He moved his sight to Suho who was already staring at him. He signed him to go follow Chanyeol and he did so after being startled for a millisecond.

He sprinted to join the taller male that was already well ahead of him thanks to his long legs. As he went down the stairs, he called out the man’s name, hoping he would stop or at least slow down. Chanyeol did neither. As Luhan arrived in the hangar, the younger man was already getting out not even caring to put a coat on.

_Fuck. But I can’t follow you, I have a meeting._

“I’ll go,” Kris, who was sitting on one of the couches with his boyfriend, spoke up, noticing how Luhan was stumped.  

“Thanks,” he smiled at the Chinese leader and turned to coat racks- noticing his mate standing there- to take off Chanyeol and Kris’ coats as well as his own. He made them float to them.

As he put his on, he walked to Sehun who was taking two coats off of the hooks.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“On the roof, D.O’s there alone and he looked kind of down. I’ll go talk to him.”

“Oh, okay. That’s nice of you. I’m going to meet with Hotaru-san, it shouldn’t take all day. I should be back this afternoon.”

They hugged and parted ways quickly.

As Luhan was going out, Xiumin and Chen came in. As soon as he saw the both of them, he noticed their bound, understood what Sehun, Kai and Baekhyun meant when they talked about relationship strings and understood what his mate’s insinuations were for. _So, that’s what it was in the end._

Luhan smiled at them and pointing his finger at his best friend he stated: “We are talking about this later.”

He then proceeded to pass beside them and make his way to the door. As he was closing it behind him, Xiumin called him.

“What?” The deer asked.

“Sehun’s phone.”

Luhan put his hands in his pockets, reaching for the cell phone he had put there unconsciously. _Oups._ He gave it to the other.

“Ask Hotaru-mèi if you can go pick your phone up, it’ll get troublesome to try and contact you.”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me. See ya!”

“Bye.”

He entered Hiroya-san’s car.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting.”

“It’s fine. Happy new year.” The man gave him a soft smile. 

“Happy new year.” He reciprocated.

 

 

 

 

As Sehun opened the hatch to the roof, he noticed D.O’s legs in front of him. _He didn’t go far._

“Hey,” he indicated his presence.

D.O, startled, turned around to meet with the younger man’s eyes. The latter was offering him his coat.

“Oh, thank you.” He took the winter clothing and stepped away as Sehun climbed on the roof.

“Ah, I’ll be back inside soon, you don’t need to stay,” the smaller man spoke.

However, he understood the other had no intention to listen to him as he closed the door, sat on the bit of snow besides him and put his coat on.

D.O smiled sweetly and sat next to him.

“Wanna talk about it?” Sehun asked after a moment of staring into the blue sky. It was a clear and cool day all in all. It wasn’t unpleasant to be outside but it was still cold enough for them to remember it was winter.

For a moment, the older man turned to him, slightly surprised by the other’s question. He then glanced at the floor, pondering.

He decided he would open up: “It’s Baekhyun…He had a nightmare this morning and it…It’s hard to watch him when he’s like that.”

He sighed.

“When we brought him here, I didn’t even know him. He was the boyfriend of a guy I had just met. He was the replacement for our friend who had died the day we were supposed to take the plane for Japan…We did in the end, with Baekhyun…When we went to get him at his apartment building, it was Suho who found him. I don’t remember much except that I hated being inside of his apartment. That and that Baekhyun was terrified of the both of us but he still trusted us in some way. And when we arrived here, he stayed polite but avoided all of us. The first three days he stayed in bed, refusing to come eat with us saying ‘no, thank you’ every time we told him he should eat…Although by then we had assumed that it was his boyfriend that had beaten him up,” Sehun frowned, not remembering that detail, “I never would have thought that it was him that made Baekhyun that way…I only thought he was simply more of an introverted person…It’s only after knowing him for a few years that I know now that he’s not like that.”

“Um…” _I’m not following you._

“Baekhyun…He was one of the first to try and create bonds with the girls. If he hadn’t been there we probably wouldn’t be this close to them right now. I thought he was scared of strangers at first but he’s rather a people’s person.”

_Let’s just listen. He needs to get it out._

“And I remember when Chen and him had their thing going on, Baekhyun never feared telling him off and never simply submitted when Chen disagreed but with Chanyeol…Just like this morning, I see he sometimes becomes that other Baekhyun and obviously I’m worried because I know he wasn’t happy as that other Baekhyun.”

_Oh._

“Sometimes I simply wish for him to have a perfect relationship. No drama, no bad sex, no memories of his…of him. It might be boring but I feel like he deserves that kind of boring now, after all he’s gone through. It’s not like every relationship he has needs to be worthy of a book. It’ll be boring to hear about but he’ll be happy and that’s all that matters.”

“If it can make you happier, I saw Chanyeol earlier, I think he finally told Baekhyun about his worries.”

“Mmh…That’s good…Yeah, at least Chanyeol realizes there’s something not right with Baekhyun.”

“He told us many times that he doesn’t feel like Baekhyun is honest about his sentiments. We thought he might have only been paranoid but-”

They turned around as someone opened the door.

“Are you trying to steal my boyfriend?” Kai joked. 

“Nah, we just thought we would talk in your back a bit.”

“Ah, sorry, I’ll come back later.”

He half-seriously started to close the door as Sehun laughed only to open it again: “For real though: if you need a moment, I’ll leave, I just came to see if you were alright,” he addressed D.O.

“Oh, it’s fine, it’s fine. You can stay if you want, I don’t mind.”

With that, Kai sat next to his boyfriend.

“I woke up this morning and you weren’t there and then you weren’t in the kitchen making food either or at the bathroom or even in the hangar and then Tao told me Sehun went to cheer you up. So you must understand already that I’m kind of worried. Are you fine? Is it the same thing we discussed yesterday?”

Sehun raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment.

“Ah, no, no. It’s Baekhyun,” D.O explained, “he wasn’t feeling good this morning so...”

“So now you’re also not feeling good.”

“Yeah.”

“You really care for him, don’t you?” Kai put his arm around his waist and in the brief moment where their eyes met, he understood that he shouldn’t have spoken these words. He saw D.O’s chin start to shake as he nodded fervently.

Surprising the other two, he started to sob and leaned unto his boyfriend’s shoulder, gripping his shirt as he did so. Kai hugged him by instinct while Sehun rested his hands on the smaller man’s back.

“Shh…Shh…Baekhyun will be alright. He had a down this morning, alright. Downs happen. He’ll have ups some other time this week. Shh…Come on, D.O. He’ll be fine.”

“Stop crying, hyung. They have to pass through this to make things better, mmh? It’ll only get better starting from here.”

“Please, stop crying. It breaks my heart to see you like that.”

Just like that, in this calm January day, a violent squall blew straight in their direction, attacking them, at the same time, with the thin layer of snow that had previously laid on the roof.

It surprised the three of them, making D.O stop crying.

“What the fuck,” went Kai’s voice.

His boyfriend looked at the horizon, expecting to see Sulli’s bird or herself around them. When the wind blew once again, projecting once again snow in his face and realizing that Sulli wasn’t there, he hit Sehun.

“Ow.”

D.O grabbed some snow on the ground and threw it in his dongsaeng’s face.

“Fuck, okay, I get it, stop.” Sehun stood up to distance himself from the angry man.

“Why are you attacking him for?” Kai asked but his question went ignored.

D.O stared at Sehun, expecting an apology.

“Listen, the first one was an accident.”

D.O prepared to stand up. 

“Sorry, sorry.” He took another step back. “I just wanted to know if it was really what I had thought…I’m sorry, really.”

“Wait…” D.O heard his boyfriend this time. “You can control the fucking wind?”

“It seems like it, yeah.”

“That’s dope.”

“Well, you can teleport and your boyfriend can control…Hyung, what’s your power?”

“Earth.”

“That. We all have dope powers; no need to be jealous.”

“I wasn’t, I was just saying that your power was cool. You can appreciate things without wanting them for yourself, ya know.”

“Ah…You’re right.”

 

 

 

 

“Luuuuuuuuuu! Hiiii!” Was how Luhan was welcomed into Hotaru-san’s apartment that day. Her mind seemed elsewhere. “It’s been a while, how have you been doing?”

“Better…”

He noticed her counter, messy with food in preparation.

“That’s really good, I’m happy to hear that. Here, sit down.” She went back behind her counter.

“Hotaru-san…Are you making food?”

“Why? Are you surprised? You know, it’s not because I do business that I become a typical man; I know how to make food, and good one at that. I’ll make you taste later.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean-“

“My parents are coming later tonight and I’m quite in a hurry. It’s like this every year since I’m always busy on Christmas. Usually, I start making food as soon as I’m done but this year I forgot, just like I forgot to tell you that I wanted to meet you. Ugh, I really hate myself some times.”

“Do you, perhaps, talk more when you’re nervous?”

“Hai! Got that from my father. As for the forgetful trait: got that one from my mother.”

Luhan giggled.

“Do you need help with anything?”

“Oh, no. It’s fine. You’re sweet for asking though. Stay there, there are cookies on the table, you can take some if you want.”

On the low-table in front of him, there was indeed a glass plate where Christmas cookies had been laid. He took one.

_Great breakfast. Very nutritive._

“Thanks.”

“Ah, Lu. I wish you could’ve been there at Christmas. I did what I never thought I would do: a holiday with only trainees. It was such a mess. I had two cases of puking, one where they puked with the client and the other one where they puked on the client. One case of a host falling asleep in front of a client and one case of crying: the trainee came to me and balled his eyes out preaching how pathetic his client’s life seemed like.” She sighed. “All that because you had to get your first heat – I’m not saying that because I think it’s your fault, it’s not – and because Makoto pressured me to give him and Bling Bling vacations for the holidays and you know how I can’t refuse him anything.”

_Indeed. Key: Winner of Arguments._

“Apparently, Makoto invited both their families in Japan for the holidays. Since the apartment – that _I_ made them choose – is more decent now, it’s probably easier to have people over…OH! That makes me think. I have something I had to give you.”

She left for her room and when she came back she had two Christmas present bags, one with red decoration paper popping out from it and the other with white and blue one.

“Here,” she shoved both of the bags really close to his face to joke around, “open theirs first, I want to see what they bought you.”

“What if I don’t want to show you?” Luhan teased.

“What if I didn’t want to pay you next month?” She continued on with her cooking.

The Chinese man laughed as he started taking the decorative paper out of the bag. He noticed two presents, a small and a big one, and a petite square envelope. He reached for it first.

_From Jjong and Key._

He opened the envelope to find an expected letter.

_We wish to see you again at the club soon, Lu._

_In the mean time, rest well._

_Have fun with “the pack”, eat lots of great foods and come back to us healthier than ever._

_We’re here if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call._

The letter was signed by both of his colleagues and he saw that at the bottom of the short letter there was a post-scriptum written in Japanese that read: “The big one is from me, Bling Bling ˜˜˜”

He smiled, put the letter away and reached inside the bag to get the smaller gift.

He unwrapped it only to discover a black box. He opened it. Inside, on a soft black cushion, were beautiful and shimmering pale cufflinks shaped like deer heads.

 _Holy shit._ He could feel his eyes sparkling in admiration. 

“I wanna see, show me.”

He turned the box so that his boss could have a good look at the accessories.

“Utsukushii…I appreciate the choice of white gold. Okay, next.”

Luhan closed the box and posed it on the long table while he reached for the other gift and resumed the process of ripping the paper. This time, what awaited him was a shoe box. He was already excited, just like a child would be at Christmas. When he opened it, there was another paper inside, also written in Japanese – his colleague still lacked confidence when it came to writing English -.

_I chose them but Key and I split the prizes for the presents._

_Have fun playing with Baozi._

He wrote the last word according to the Chinese characters.

He didn’t wait any longer to put the sheets of paper that were inside away. As soon as they were gone, he admired the brand new running shoes he had just received. They were a stunning red and white pair that would be perfect to play soccer. On the side, a black design indicated that they were from Nike.

He jumped out of his seat, forgetting that he still had the present bag on his lap.

“LOOK!” He presented the box to Hotaru-san.

“Ooooh, those are nice shoes.”

“THEY ARE AMAZING!” He marvelled. He turned the box to him once again. “I love them.”

“You surely must; for them to gift you such presents.”

“Huh? Oh. Jonghyun and Key, yeah. I love them too.”

He returned to staring at his new pair of shoes.

Hotaru-san giggled.

“Okay, now you open mine.”

“Oh, yeah.”

He sat back down and put the box away to take the other bag.

“Mine aren’t wrapped though. If there’s one thing I can’t do: it’s wrap up Christmas gifts, to my mom’s greatest despair. For some reason, she’s a queen at wrapping them. Hers always look perfect…” Luhan took the decorative paper out of the bag while still listening to her babbling. His face lit up once again as he saw the presents inside. He took out one of the two books there was inside. “Happy?” He nodded joyfully. “I knew you were following the series so I bought the two latest chapters.”

She smiled as he picked the other manga as well to view the cover.

“I actually called Baozi up to be certain it was really Naruto and to be sure you didn’t have them. It still feels surreal that you like reading mangas, I was sure you were the type of person that would stay away from them because they are childish.”

“They aren’t childish,” Luhan declared seriously.

“Oh no, no. I wasn’t saying they were childish. I meant that some people would say that they are childish…However, seeing you look at them like that, so passionately, it does feel like I’m watching a child…”

He looked at her and showed an angry expression. Hotaru-san giggled: the reaction was rather adorable to her.

“Okay, look at the other now.”

He picked up a case that he thought contained a film at first. Reading the title and seeing the Atari logo, he understood it was a video game. _Ah, yes. TDU2._

“Right, I saw a trailer for that this summer, thought it looked cool. Thanks.”

“Baozi told me that Chanyeol’s friends had brought their Playstation 3 so I thought you could play on it? Are you still in a fight with one of them?”

“Oh, eum, no. We’re fine now.” _More than that I’d say. I should probably tell her._

“That’s good, then, you can play with them too. I think it said it could be multiplayer.”

“Oh, no. That’s not what they mean by it. You can play with people online.”

“But isn’t multiplayer supposed to be like: you have a split screen and multiple controllers and you all play together?”

“Obviously not all games are made the same Hotaru-san.”

“How would I know? I can’t know slash be good at everything although it might look like it sometimes.”

“Well, you are good at finding gifts. I’m really happy with mine.”

“Oi. I thought you how to speak like that, don’t you use it against me.”

Luhan laughed.

“Okay but now I feel bad for not getting you anything,” he declared.

“Oh, it’s fine. You had enough of a hard-time as it is anyway,” she replied. She turned around to put something in her oven to then look back straight in his eyes. “But actually, I have a favour to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Can you come back soon to the club?”

Although he thought she had lost her everyday nonchalance in this meeting, at that instant, when she spoke that question, she truly lost every bit of composure he didn’t even realize remained.

“Sure…” He agreed, frowning.

“Because really these days are hard. You have no idea.” She stared at him dramatically for a few seconds to make him understand that what was going to follow was truthfully exasperating. “The trainee I had to replace you is going downhill. I had high hopes for him, he was fantastic at talking and at making people talk plus he was a good-looking and talented seller so I had no worries that he would be a good host. That was disregarding the fact that you guys need to drink with the clients.”

“Is he one of the two that puked.”

“Worse.”

“What? He becomes drunk too easily and completely ruins his image? It’s not that bad, remember Key the first-“

“That’s not it. I’m pretty sure he’s turning into an addict.”

“He’s becoming an alcoholic you mean?”

“It was the fourth time last night that I had to forbid him to work because he was already drunk coming in.”

“Fourth? I thought you wouldn’t let someone pass two.”

“That’s harder to do than you think it is,” she sighed, “but it’s what I’ll have to do. I’ll probably refer him to someone to fix his alcohol problem and help him find a job somewhere else after…It still makes me sad though. I had plans for him. I thought he might become a top one, like you guys. I’m sure you would have liked him: he reads a lot, just like you…Anyway. That’s not what I wanted to tell you. I asked if you were ready to come back to work, are you?”

“Eh, yeah. But not tomorrow. Maybe in two, three days.”

“Do you have another heat?”

“Actually…I got changed into a wolf shape-shifter by mistake and during the first few days I may have symptoms of transforming so I would rather not go to work.”

“That’s really wise of you. I shall respect your decision. What’s the whole thing about being changed accidently though? And you’re not a deer anymore? Maybe you should think about changing your name…”

“No, I’m still a deer. I’m still Lu. It’s just I’m also a wolf.”

“What’s the term for that in Chinese?”

“Láng.“

She repeated. “Doesn’t sound as good as Lu…And for the ‘by mistake’? RM says it’s with body fluids. Did they spit on your wound by accident?”

“That’s…Hum, no. It doesn’t work with spit.”

“So? What is it? Did you have unprotected sex? Is that it?”

The deer looked away, embarrassed.

“WHAT? With who? Do you have a girlfriend, Lu? Or was it with Baozi? Oi! Lu! I witnessed your first time don’t go all shy with me you idiot. It was with Baozi, wasn’t it? Are you two together now? Don’t come and tell _me_ you are ‘only friends’ now.”

“It wasn’t with Xiumin.”

“No? Oh…” She went back to her preparation of dishes. “You see me discontented...I thought you had finally passed over your homo fear. So, who was she?”

“Sehun.”

She looked back up, eyes wide.

“Actually his friend was there too.” _Let’s just tell her everything. There’s no point in hiding it._

“Masaka…” She had stopped every movement and was simply staring at him, mouth agape.

“I was in heat.”

“You had a threesome! With no girls involved! And it wasn’t work related!”

“I surprised myself too, trust me.”

“I bet…So you came into him and you got his…Wait a second Sehun’s a shape-shifter too?”

“Newly turned yeah. It’s a long story. But no, I bottomed.”

“YOU WERE THE SUB?” She stopped everything, suddenly composed. “Get out of my house.”

He frowned.

“You surely aren’t the Lu I found in the garbage.”

He laughed, reassured, as he understood what she had meant.

“So yeah, I prefer staying home in case I-“

“Yeah yeah, I’ll let you three have a honeymoon.”

“I’m in no relationship with Kai,” he stated, “actually, D.O and him-“

“You’re going out with Sehun? Did I understand that right? You’re going out with the kid you punched?”

“First off, I didn’t punch him, I slapped him.”

“Are you going out with him?”

“I…Yeah. He’s my mate.”

“Oh, what the fuck. I don’t see you for like two weeks and you’re suddenly gay and married…”

“Calm down, I’m not married. We’re just…Mates. And I’m not gay. I like girls.”

“But you like penises. So you’re at least half-gay.”

“I don’t particularly like penises but if you want to see it like that, sure.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I wish I could have these cars in real life,” Tao commented, “they look great. I bet they would look even better with me in them.”

Tao was lying on the couch, head on his lap, while Luhan tried the game he had just received.

“I feel like you would ruin their ferocity,” the older man surmised, “your face is still too pretty.”

“Look who’s talking.”

They were the only two in the living room of the Korean dorm. Sehun, Kai, D.O, Xiumin and Chen had left to do a special grocery while Suho had decided to do the laundry. Kris and Chanyeol had still not come back while Lay remained with Baekhyun in the latter’s room.

It was unusually quiet in the dorm; Luhan was scared to put the television’s volume too high.

“Next year, I want us to at least decorate for Christmas,” Tao stated.

“Yeah, I agree. Kris talked about getting a tree last year but never got around to actually buying one apparently.”

“You spent Christmas with them before?”

“Yeah, Baozi invited me last year.”

“Did you give each other gifts, then?”

“I don’t think so…I remember bringing some food and that’s it.”

“We should do a small present exchange next year. Doesn’t need to be expensive. It can be hand-made. It’s just to have something to unwrap…”

“Did my gift unwrapping stories make you envious?”

“They did.”

“Aw, sorry…I think the only people that have some kind of gift exchange were Lay and Suho. Last year, they were…Something…Did you hear them this year? I know you stayed here.”

“You mean they are loud?” He chuckled. “No, I didn’t. Wasn’t doing super well on Christmas.”

“Ah, I see…Last year, it was really funny cause we were pretty much…Yeah, we were all single except for them so we decided we would all go at the café and just stay there ‘til morning. That was fun.”

“You opened the café?”

“Obviously not. We closed the blinds and just hung out inside of the café.”

“That sounds cool.”

“It was. It makes nice memories for the bit I can remember. I passed out early since I had worked the night before and had spent the day making food.”

He smiled nostalgically.

His smile slowly let place to a frown.

He stopped concentrating on the game and Tao noticed.

“Gē, are you alright?”

He closed his eyes, his frown deepening. _No? No. I don’t think so._

“Hyung? Come, I’ll run you a bath.”

Baekhyun was in the hallway all of a sudden. His voice was soft and although his words sounded warm to Luhan’s ears, they had been said without emotions.

 

 

 

 

The bath was quick to make him better. It always surprised him how quick the effects were.

“Where’s Sehun? If you want I can go find him?” Baekhyun suggested.

“No, it’s fine. Thank you, Baekhyun. He went out to do the groceries with the others.”

“Oh, I see.”

“I’m good now, thank you…How are you? If it’s fine for me to ask…I saw what happened this morning and you are looking quite gloomy…”

“Then you must already know the answer to your question…” Baekhyun answered without looking at him.

Luhan breathed deeply. _It’s fine. He just doesn’t want to talk about it with you._

“Hyung,” he called after a moment, “do you…Are there times where you think that, maybe, when something goes wrong with a client, it’s because you didn’t do your job properly?”

There was an undertone in his question that Luhan didn’t miss.

“Yes,” he answered truthfully. Baekhyun looked up. The host wasn’t certain of the sentiments he read in the other’s eyes but he felt a certain fear coming from his friend. “Yes, these thoughts come to my mind. I’d be lying if I didn’t say ‘often’. But, with time, they come back less and less. And when they are there, I remind myself that these thoughts are wrong and only keeping me away from doing my job the best I can and _living_ the best I can.”

They heard commotion outside the room, sign that the members of the pack that had went out to do the groceries were back. Along with them, Luhan heard a baritone voice asking for the whereabouts of his boyfriend. He was sure Baekhyun had heard too because he tensed. Although Chanyeol had meant to whisper, the pitch of his voice betrayed him.

“Why are you asking?” The deer brought the other man’s attention back to him.

“Oh, hum…Nothing…It’s just…I think I also have thoughts…keeping me from living the best I can.”

“That’s not nothing,” Luhan commented warmly, knowing the subject was delicate.

“Chanyeol thinks that way too.” There was a faint giggle at the end of his sentence.

Baekhyun turned his head slightly to the door. It was only a faint movement but it was enough for Luhan to notice it. He followed the younger’s eyes. _Chanyeol’s listening?_

He saw his dìdi brace himself as he turned back to him.

“In the past…I had a boyfriend named Dong Bin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hiiiii! I'm back with this long chapter (this is like seven pages more than what I usually write. It seems like my chapters are getting longer and longer, oups). I did add many unplanned things because it makes me happy to do so. Also, I included a part with Jonghyun because I wanted to say that he will keep on being there. For me, he will live on through everything he gave to the world and through what we, as fans, decide to with it. I hope the giving presents part made you happy because it sure made me smile when I wrote it. 
> 
> As for the rest of the chapter...I hope you understand where I was going with the last thing Baekhyun said because if not you'll only understand next chapter :P (and that will be in a long time judging from how slow I am to write these days --')  
> 
> Don't hesitate to leave comments, I love you :) <3 
> 
> (Merry Holidays <3)  


	35. The Promise of Warmth May Lead the Lost to an Hostile Embrace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for mention of/implied physical abuse, mention of homophobia, mention of rape/non-con, mention of violence, mention of suicide.

 “I met him in a café in my hometown, Bucheon, back when I still didn’t know I was gay and, with him into my life, I kind of realized I could like men. And I came to like him. Very much.”

He licked his lower lip and took a deep breath before continuing. He would stare blindly in front of him as he related his tale.

“And that was very difficult for me to accept for obvious reasons, but he was there. When I wasn’t able to understand my feelings, he saw through me and explained, without judging. And he told me about his feelings too. He would say that he felt drawn to me, that he felt as if I would make his life better and that he already felt better with me simply standing beside him.”

“I remember thinking that those sentiments seemed harmless, that if I felt similar things, which I did, I should let those feelings live…He helped me love the person I had just discovered I was and gave me the confidence to fight for myself against the people that would say I’m wrong, that the person I am is wrong.”

He had a sad grin on his face. Luhan didn’t want to disturb him in his reminiscence of the past.

“So, when he asked me if I would like to date him, I didn’t think twice and accepted.”

“We didn’t tell anyone. No one knew. My parents didn’t know, my friends didn’t know... They thought we were simply friends and we were fine with things being like that. Although I knew I wouldn’t listen to them if they found out and decided to break us up, I was still terrified about the idea of coming out. I knew I would be strong but I feared the pain and Jung Ho understood. He didn’t really have anyone to tell on his part anyway.”

He scoffed.

There was a long silence before Baekhyun decided to continue.

“After a few months of going out together, Jung Ho proposed we lived together in Seoul since we had both been accepted to university there. My parents trusted him so they actually encouraged me to go live with him.”

“I remember when we started to check out which university I should go to my dad would say: ‘You should go live in Seoul, there are many pretty women there’ to which my mom would add: ‘If you keep on living with us, you’ll never get married’. Plus, of course, they believed that the schools in Seoul were better but that's another story.”

“I was eighteen back then, over there that is, and the thought of living apart from my parents terrified me. I still went in the end. Jung Ho went there a month before me to get things installed and know the city a bit more so when I arrived there he showed me around and made sure that I got comfortable.”

“I moved there in November… A few weeks later both my family and my friends stopped talking to me…One of my friends had found out we were dating and told everyone…My grandparents could be dead now and I wouldn’t even know. My parents could be dead…I don’t know if anyone would even try to inform me if they were.  It’s not like they could find me now if they wanted to contact me anyway…”

“I came to cling unto Jung Ho a lot more after that. We started spending so much more time doing activities together. We had never been really lovey-dovey – the only nicknames we gave each other were to joke around – but in those like two weeks we acted as if we were living our honeymoon or something. “

“I remember we cooked a lot. That’s a thing I remember. I was horrible at cooking but he helped me learn and my cooking became…Okay. I wasn’t really...I’m not really confident in my cooking but back then I wanted to cook a lot. Jung Ho was usually the one to cook, he was really good at it, but he liked when I tried to make the things he had thought me by myself and I liked getting praised when it came out well.”

He smiled, nostalgia in his eyes and in the sound of the small giggle he let out.

“And when it didn’t come out well, we would still eat it while laughing our asses off because of how pathetic the food looked and tasted. Sometimes, when it was really, really bad we would order a dessert to compensate for the things we had just ate…”

“Then, things eventually came back to somewhat normal between us. I found myself a second job and he did too so we could be able to pay the apartment’s bill since my parents had stopped sending me money. I was forced to drop out of Music School because we weren’t able to pay the fees anymore. Jung Ho continued since he would have graduated in his field by the end of that school year…Then December passed and…”

 His chin was shaking and there were tears threatening to roll down on his cheeks. Luhan wished he could hug him or simply tell him he was there but Baekhyun seemed to need to be alone with his memories to explain his story. He had the desire to tell his story for the ears on the other side of the door.

“He had started to see these people. He had said that they were distant biological cousins of his and he liked spending time with them because it felt like he was learning things about himself. I was happy for him. Yes, he would spend a lot of time with them but he would always come back home so there wasn’t really anything there that could bother me.”

“When Christmas came I thought maybe he would want to spend it with them but no, he offered we stayed at home together. And we did. It was our first Christmas together. My first Christmas without my family. And it was like that for the New Year too…”

“Then, one day, I come back home and I can feel that everything’s about to change, that I’m going to live hell on Earth. That day, I come home and our apartment is a mess. So much that I think we were robbed. When I walk in and look for Jung Ho I find him – he didn’t even look like himself -, I find him in the bathroom looking drunk as fuck and I think that something bad must’ve happened to him for him to drink like that. I had never seen him drunk. Never. And when he walks up to me, I’m terrified. I never saw this part of him before or anything close to it. He was usually always…Warm…”

He took a trembling breath, crying.

“And he was suddenly so cold and brusque; I wanted to punch him the face for making me so scared. I thought…I hoped he was joking. I hoped he was joking so I could really hit him after and throw my anger at him to express how angry I was that he made me so scared…But at least we would laugh…I think he would have hoped that too…”

“Only, he wasn’t joking.”

“A few minutes after, out of anger, he transformed in front of me. To say I was surprised is…He had never told me and I never got any clues from him that could possibly make me think ‘eum maybe Jung Ho is not normal?’ Nothing. I was scared shitless and the first thing I thought was ‘somebody kill me now. Make it quick.’ I thought he would eat me alive…”

“And then he retransformed and he explained me quite harshly that he was a shape shifter, that I was his mate and that, since he was in rut, I had to help him out, and I didn’t understand shit about what he was saying but I just kind of went with it…”

“I’ll spare you the details of the night I spent because I don’t feel like thinking about it but I’ll just say that it was hell…”

“When I woke up the next day he was gone and I thought that maybe I should leave. Maybe I should take that chance and leave. But because I was in love and because I was _stupid_ , I stayed. I stayed because I wanted to talk to him.”

He scoffed.

“I hoped that maybe he felt bad, maybe he would apologize and we could go back to how we were…I did get an apology. Yeah, he apologized for hurting me. But he said that I had no choice but to endure it because I was his mate, and I listened.”

“I told him ‘I will help you but you must not hurt me’ and he accepted.”

“He wasn’t in his right mind.”

“ When we tried to have sex that night I don’t think he became even slightly aware of how much he was hurting me. I don’t think he even thought that it was possible for him to hurt me. When I told him I wanted him to stop he didn’t believe that I was in pain and simply continued…”

“When, the next morning, he was gone once again. I didn’t hesitate to walk to the door. I didn’t even think. I was ready to leave.”

“But my symptoms started. I didn’t know they were symptoms then. I didn’t realize until three days after, when I transformed for the first time.”

“For the first thing I experimented: there were shadows all around me that forbid me to leave. I remember seeing wolves around the room. Big demonic silhouettes of wolves with red eyes that walked around me and stared at me. So I stayed inside and screamed for them to go away for about an hour and a half before the hallucinations actually stopped.”

“Then, I started puking. I pretty much stayed all day in that bathroom until close to the time I knew Jung Ho would come back.”

“After that, I took a bath – which is the time I realized that baths helped – and I went to cook the supper.”

“ I just really wanted him to feel better, I wanted to see my warm Jung Ho again, I wanted to tell him about how much of a horrible day I had and I wanted him to hug me and simply say ‘I’m there’ because I felt so _alone._ ”

“But I was never able to get to see that warm Jung Ho again. At least, not for more than a fraction of second.”

“That night was just as horrible as the others. And so were the other days. The night after that he didn’t come back. He called me and said he would spend the night outside and I was _thankful._ ”

“When Suho and D.O came to find me the next day, I jumped on the occasion to escape. They brought me here, to Japan, without telling me anything. I knew they were shape shifters too and that they had superpowers, which I didn’t know they could have, and that was pretty much it…”

“The first thing I did when we arrived here was pass out. They brought me to a room – which is today Chen’s - and I stayed there for three days straight although I hadn’t eaten anything for two days already.”

“ When I eventually risked myself out of the room to eat breakfast with them, they presented themselves and explained to me a bit more of what the shape shifter life was all about since I had just turned. It was quite a stressful situation to meet these new people that all spoke in English while I could only say things like ‘hi’, ‘what’s up’ and ‘the sun is yellow’ but Suho and D.O were there to translate what I said when I couldn’t find the words in English.”

“They all seemed nice and I was glad I had decided to leave although still upset about the situation…”

“And then by accident, I learned that Jung Ho was dead and I was sure he had killed himself because of me.”

“It’s only later that Suho told me the real story. He started by telling me first that he had been killed and then, when I asked, he told me that it was because he had been too touchy with another member of his previous pack, the one they had been supposed to bring to Japan. He also told me that it was him who had killed her…”

He took a deep breath.

“I know I shouldn’t be feeling like this but I can’t help but think that it’s my fault. I can’t help but think that if I had been able to satisfy Jung Ho more…I know it’s wrong but I can’t help feeling like this. I’m really trying to keep myself from thinking like that and reminding myself that these thoughts are wrong like you said, but sometimes I just feel like it’s easier to think that way. At least, then I have a clear road to follow…”

There was silence again and Luhan understood that Baekhyun was done. He looked at him and saw his chin shaking again. However, the man gulped back his tears and looked at him with a smile on his face:

“We should get you out. I can feel you getting tired.”

 _What?_ Thinking about it the deer realized he indeed felt sleepy. _How did he even sense something I didn’t sense myself?_

“I’ll get you a towel.”

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol stood up hurriedly, stumbling slightly when trying to distance himself from the bathroom door. He wiped his eyes and stared at the bathroom door thinking it would open. When he heard the cabinet open, he remembered that there were towels there.

He calmed down. _Not yet._ He sat on the floor once again, this time next to the door and not in front of it.

When he had run outside and Kris had found him, they had talked together. He remembered being mad and crying as he expressed his frustration to the Chinese leader.

_“Why is it that he’s like this? Why is it that he somehow believes he deserves pain? Why should he accept to hurt like it was his duty in life? It’s not! It’s not like that for anyone. People should want to be happy. People should want to smile because it feels good! Why is it that he pushes away the things that feel good and accept the things that hurt him?”_

_“I understand he didn’t tell you either.”_

_“No, he didn’t. What is it that he was supposed to tell me? He never tells me anything.”_

_“Baekhyun was abused by the last boyfriend he had.”_

He remembered it had felt like a slap in the face.

Kris had explained him the bit he knew, the bit the pack had understood. It made things clearer for him but he still wished it had been Baekhyun who had told him.

He would have waited for his boyfriend to tell his story, not telling him that he knew and simply trying to help him, keeping in mind the information he had newly acquired.

He would have waited again, if Baekhyun had needed more time.

However, Baekhyun had told him.

He knew he had been telling this to him. Yes, he was aware that Luhan was in the room with him and it probably sounded like he was talking to him but he felt like that was just because it made things easier for his boyfriend. Although he was partially unsure of himself thinking that maybe those words hadn’t been meant for him, the feeling that they were was too strong for him to deny it.

Of course, he would have preferred if he had told him all these things in front of him, maybe not looking in his eyes all the while – he wouldn’t ask for the moon – but at least with him and not separated by a wall. However, he would settle for this way. That’s the way Baekhyun chose to tell him, he would accept it. It was enough.

The door opened and he jumped on his feet. His boyfriend walked out with their hyung in his arms, partially wrapped up in a blanket. Chanyeol saw him pause for a moment, hesitating and then continuing his way to Luhan’s room. Maybe he had wanted to tell him something?

He followed his boyfriend. When the other arrived at the door, the taller saw that he was struggling to reach the doorknob.

“Wait, I’ll-“

Baekhyun ignored him and was able to enter the room without his help. He went to lie down his hyung in his bed and proceeded to dry him up a bit before he put the blankets on his body to let him sleep.

He walked out, eyes on the ground, and closed the door calmly behind him without sparing the taller man a single look. He was playing with the fabric of the night gown he had on.

Chanyeol tried to say something but he didn’t find words. He walked up to him and brought the other’s body to his own. He hugged him tightly.

At first, Baekhyun’s arms stayed on each side of his body but as he began crying he brought his arms on the other’s back and clutched his shirt tightly.

 

 

 

 

Suho walked to the hallway, hearing the sobbing coming from there. As he saw Baekhyun and Chanyeol sharing a hug, the both of them seemingly crying, he walked back up to the kitchen, his eyes questioning the other people in the room.

“What happened?” he murmured.

They were all as clueless as him.

Except for one person.

When he had asked his question, Lay had smiled, eyes on the food he was preparing.

“You know something don’t you,” his boyfriend asserted.

After a moment of silence, the other man looked up, clueless, and realized Suho had been talking to him.

“What did you say?”

“Lay!” His boyfriend whined.

“What?” He asked back on the same tone.

“You know something.”

“About Baekhyun?”

“Yes.”

“…Maybe…”

He returned to his food. When he heard his boyfriend yell at him again he chuckled.

He looked up with a smile on his face.

“I think he told him.”

The others in the room stayed silent, there eyes wide in shock.

In the room, the first members to form the pack were gathered, the younger men having left for the hangar a few minutes before.

Happiness pulled on Suho’s lips to form a smile he dismissed: “how do you know?”

“Earlier, when you had left and I was still healing him, we talked. He asked me if I thought it was a good idea for him to tell Chanyeol and I told him that it was. Then, he told me that he wanted to tell him when he would come back.”

Suho brought his hands to his mouth.

“Oh,” Chen let out looking at the Korean leader, “there he goes.” The man started crying.

“And so goes you,” Xiumin laughed while he patted his best friend’s back as the latter tried to hold in his tears.

“Sorry while I go be emotional somewhere else,” Chen stood up and walked out of the room.

“I’ll go tell Sehun Luhan’s out,” Xiumin followed him, laughing at his partner in crime’s reaction.

 

 

 

 

“I’m sorry I kept you worrying and never gave answers to your questions,” Baekhyun said looking up to him with determined but puffy eyes.

“It’s fine, I- “

“And I’m sorry I never told you about him.”

Chanyeol smiled softly.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I’ll try to be more honest with you in the future,” Baekhyun promised, “sorry I haven’t been, up till now.”

And that was it for Chanyeol. He couldn’t keep his love in anymore.

He cupped his boyfriend’s face and gave him a passionate kiss.

“God, get a room,” Sehun commented as he struggled to pass next to them; the hallway was pretty narrow.

The couple separated shyly to let him pass.

“We already have one,” Chanyeol talked back.

“Then use it.”

 

 

 

 

“You know Sehun wasn’t serious about using our room right?” Chanyeol said closing the door to their room behind them. “It’s just an easy sass line so he uses it…”

“Mmh…”

Baekhyun snuggled his face on his torso and wrapped his arms around him, pushing him on the door.

“I didn’t feel like being disturbed more.”

Chanyeol hugged him back.

He let the minutes pass.

Baekhyun didn’t move.

He grew tired of simply standing up.

“Don’t you want to move to the bed?” He proposed. “We could cuddle there-“

“No.”

Chanyeol pouted.

“Okay…”

He rested his chin on Baekhyun’s head and sighed.

He decided he would peck his hair and then left his face there. Breathing in Baekhyun’s soft shampoo scent, he smiled.

“You really do smell nice.”

“Chanyeol don’t start again; I told you that was weird.”

“But I like your smeeeeell. It calms me.”

“Mmh…”

Baekhyun hugged him tighter and rubbed his cheek on his shirt. It warmed Chanyeol’s heart.

“I love you,” he said, looking down at the smaller man glued to his chest.

His boyfriend looked up.

 _That position again._ He always looked stunning positioned that way. With the sparkling eyes and the pursed smile he had at that moment, he looked even more dazzling.

He couldn’t resist taking his face and making his lips purse even more by pressing on his cheeks.

Surprised, Baekhyun moved back yapping. “I was gonna say I love you too but I don’t feel like it anymore.”

He distanced himself a bit more, pouting. Chanyeol pulled him back and the other giggled gleefully. Once again, the petite man hid his face in the other’s chest. He didn’t stay there for long for the taller cupped his face to peck his lips. Baekhyun grinned in the kiss.

When their lips parted, the taller man left his hands on the other’s cheeks so that he could still look at his face. He passed a hand into his bangs to get them off of the other’s forehead. Quickly, the latter looked away, shyly. He tried to find something to lay his eyes on while his boyfriend continued staring at him.

When he heard him sight, he looked up again. He only had the time to notice Chanyeol`s happy expression with his head thrown back before he was surprised by two hands falling delicately on his rear.

He gasped and his boyfriend looked down.

“Mmh?” He was quick to notice that his hands had moved to Baekhyun’s butt. He took them off. “Oh my god. I’m sorry. Does it still hurt? I’m so sorry, I didn’t think.”

“It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt. Lay healed it close to completely…It’s just that yesterday I started a heat and I’m just more sensible from my hips because of it…”

“Oh…Oh! Okay…okay…And what about your back, how is it?”

The smaller man laughed at how the other had dismissed the subject of his heat so innocently.

“My back is okay,” Baekhyun answered, “I just need to be more careful since there are still unhealed wounds on it. Lay wanted to heal my butt first so I could at least sit.”

“Oh, okay. Yeah, that’s smart.”

“Yeah.”

 The smaller man smiled seeing blush spread on the taller’s cheeks.

“Chanyeol…” _Don’t be like this…_

He tiptoed to kiss to him. The other reciprocated politely, closing his eyes.

When he opened them again, Baekhyun was looking up at him with a pleading gaze.

It startled him at first. He didn’t know for sure what unsettled him the most. Was it the fact that he hadn’t been expecting to make eye-contact when he looked at his boyfriend? Or was it the look that Baekhyun was giving him? Maybe a bit of both.

Or maybe was it that the situation had him remember that what he was living was reality?

_It is real. This is what my reality has become._

Only a few months back, he was a mere stranger to Baekhyun and the latter was a stranger to him. How things had changed…He still couldn’t believe this was true. Was it true?

The pain that Baekhyun inflicted to his lower lip gave him a positive answer to his interrogation. He had just bitten on it.

When he realized he had been staring at his boyfriend, he noticed how his eyebrows were furrowed and how his eyes seemed to scream “how dare you not put all your attention on me?”

The other closed his eyes and, to kiss the taller more fervently, he cupped his face firmly. It made Chanyeol smile.

_Alright._

He grabbed Baekhyun’s butt firmly, which made him gasp, and lifted him up to reciprocate the kiss.

With the petite man arching his back in a sensible reflex, he understood that he shouldn’t refrain from fulfilling his desires.

He played with the bums to his heart’s content. Baekhyun had soon stopped kissing him, preferring to rest his head on the other’s shoulder. The taller man could hear his breathing, sometimes deep, sometimes shallow. Once in a while his expirations would come out in sounds: moans and laughs.

At some point, he started to leave butterfly kisses on his neck. They trailed up to his ear. His lips remained there, taking the skin and cartilage between them. He would often give it gentle bites and licks, symbols of his gratitude.

Chanyeol remembered seeing the other man in such a position with Shunso way back then, when they weren’t yet going out. Now, he was the one to receive Baekhyun’s displays of affection.

The petite man`s giggle echoed in his ears.

There was a time when he couldn’t even make him smile. There was a time when he couldn’t hold him in his arms and feel his warmth against his body. There was a time where he was the only one that loved the other.

Now, these days had passed. Baekhyun would smile and laugh with him and for him; he would accept his hugs and ask for them. Most importantly, he loved him and made efforts to keep their relationship going.

Now, they could be together like this and make life theirs.

“If I were a cat, I would purr right now,” he heard the smaller man disclose.

Chanyeol wanted to thank him. He wanted to show the other man how grateful he was.

“What? What are you doing? Chanyeol! Woah, Chanyeol, careful.”

He had lifted the petite man even higher, his legs now resting on the other’s shoulders. His hands on the wall were helping him to keep his balance. He had been scared to bump his head on the ceiling but also to fall when the tall man had suddenly lifted him up.

“Yah! What are you doing? Let me down!”

Chanyeol’s grip was firm on his waist and he seemed stable but Baekhyun was still uncomfortable with being so high off the ground especially since he couldn’t sit straight; the ceiling prevented him for doing so.

“Chanyeol, I’m serious: put me down.”

“Relax. I won’t let you fall.”

“I can’t relax; I’m like six feet away from the ground.”

Chanyeol stopped holding Baekhyun for a few seconds to part the dressing gown he was wearing, exposing what was usually kept private. The hands were soon back on the nervous man’s sides, but the short time where they weren’t was enough to make him panic.

“Chanyeol!” he yelped. It made said man giggle.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared of heights,” he teased.

“This is different.”

The latter’s hands lowered slowly and Baekhyun felt lips leave a peck on his inner tight. He gasped. The other’s hair tickled his skin.

When the standing man reached his ass, he squeezed it enthusiastically. He continued to leave kisses and licks there. The wet trails of saliva he let made him shiver every time Chanyeol’s breath would brush them.

He moved his hands to the other man’s head and held himself desperately on it.

It was then that he felt his boyfriend’s mouth on his shaft. A small moan escaped his mouth. He held onto Chanyeol’s head even more tightly.

He pushed his lips into a flat line, repressing the sounds he didn’t wish to cry. However, his humming, as he savoured the sensations the taller man allowed him to feel, couldn’t pass unnoticed from the latter.

Baekhyun couldn’t believe it. This was the first time his boyfriend made such a gesture for him. _And he really chose the most unusual way to do so..._

The thought that he would most likely enjoy it more if he was closer to the ground always seemed to come back, but, at the same time, he couldn’t help but notice how every time Chanyeol all so slightly moved, his penis seemed to twitch. In a way, the fear of falling down enticed him and, although he wouldn’t be able to deny it, he didn’t feel like telling his boyfriend.   _He would want to do it again if I told him. No way am I letting this happen again. Or anything of sorts._

He let out a particularly high pitched and loud whimper and blushed madly. His legs closed on Chanyeol’s head.

They were in the middle of the day, their roommates were very much awake and there was no way the ones still in the Korean dorm didn’t hear.

He didn’t necessarily want them to know they were engaging in intimate activities to make-up for their fight earlier in the day - of course, Baekhyun had seen through it and, of course, that’s what it was -. He would greatly appreciate being able to at least block the sounds with his hands or something but that couldn’t be possible because he had to hold himself on Chanyeol so that he wouldn’t fall.

He cursed his boyfriend. But, at the same time, he wanted to worship him for how pleasant his hands felt on his butt and his mouth on his cock.

Once again, he couldn’t help a breathy cry from escaping his lips. He gripped Chanyeol’s hair.

“Let me down…” he whined.

And, this time, the other man heard him. He let go of his manhood and as soon as that was done he walked closer to the bed while Baekhyun held unto him more tightly than ever. When he was inches from it, he bent forward, his hands supporting his boyfriend’s back but nonetheless leaving in him the feeling that he was falling. He shouted as Chanyeol let go of him when he saw that he was close to the mattress.

As he heard the taller man laugh at his reaction, he hit him playfully in his belly with his foot, pouting.

“Idiot, that was scary.”

“Mmh?”

Chanyeol smirked at him, keeping his eyes on him as he lowered himself. The other man stopped breathing for a second.  In that moment, his boyfriend was particularly handsome, to some intimidating level. He was kneeling in front of the bed, between his legs and simply eyeing him like he was some kind of buffet.

Then, the spell broke when the imbecile continued to look at him while he searched for his member to take it in his mouth once again. He knew it had simply been to maintain the cool and dominant look he had previously displayed. The man blushed when he realized the other had noticed. He looked down to find his prey while Baekhyun laughed.

His laugh was cut short with Chanyeol taking him whole once again. His hands massaged his thighs.

This time, Baekhyun made sure to hide his mouth with his hands.   

When he looked down, the kneeling man had the same confident look in his eyes, most likely proud of the reactions he could make the other have.

The petite man looked so adorable, blushing madly like he was. He always did but that day was even more particular.

That day, the look in his eyes made the taller man believe that he was almighty. It really felt like Baekhyun was completely yielding and giving him total power over him. Now, usually that would make Chanyeol uncomfortable, not wanting his boyfriend to feel inferior or to feel like he had to submit to him but this was different. While at other times he knew that the smaller man felt obliged to give in, this time it felt like he wanted to. How great did that make him feel.  

What was even better was the fact that he finally was the one in the advantageous position. Now he was the one to look up and Baekhyun the one to stare down. He doubted he was as much of a sight as the other man could be but he was still confident in the possibility that his looks, in this angle, could stand out and cause butterflies in his boyfriend’s lovely belly.

The man’s back arched as he caressed his inner thighs. His eyes shut tight as he let out short whines.

His hips moved on their own, trying to turn on one side or another but every time Chanyeol brought them back to steady them, fingers digging into them.

Eventually, the taller man wrapped a hand around the smaller’s shaft while the other remained gripping the other’s tight. Baekhyun arched his back even more. Most of it didn’t touch the mattress anymore.

His head was thrown back but that didn’t prevent his boyfriend from seeing his hands strongly pushed against his mouth to prevent it from opening. He could see the man’s fingertips turning pale from the constant pressure. However, even with the strong will to not emit any sounds, the petite man was being noisy. Not that Chanyeol would complain.

The latter had been kind of spacing out, staring at the other man but still not stopping at any moment from his duty, however, he was quickly brought back to consciousness when Baekhyun stretched out his arm to reach him although not able to succeed.

“Chan…” He called out weakly, his other hand off his mouth for a second and then rapidly back.

The kneeling man’s eyes had shortly met his boyfriend’s humid ones before the latter’s head was once again thrown back, his whines short and high pitched. He saw the hand that had been reaching out gripping the mattress as if his life had depended on it and with that, Chanyeol knew.

So, he wasn’t surprised when Baekhyun released in his mouth. He was rather pleased in fact. Although he didn’t particularly like the taste – he doubted that anyone would –, he felt lucky that it hadn’t gone directly down his throat and he was happy because…The situation simply made him really happy. Ecstatic even.

Noticing his boyfriend’s hand on the side of his body, he let go of the man’s member to pose itself on the other’s fist. The lying man automatically let go of the bed sheets to intertwine his fingers with his loved one’s. 

He made sure to suck and gulp down ever last bit of Baekhyun’s bliss while letting his fingertips graze on his thigh’s skin. Said man’s back slowly returned to the mattress while his abdomen was still shaking with spasms. There were still a few whimpers coming out of his mouth.

Chanyeol moved unto the bed and went to peck his boyfriend’s forehead. The latter let out a tiny cry. When he distanced his face from the other’s once again, he noticed.

Above his head, popping out of his dishevelled hair were two puppy ears.

“Your ears are out,” the taller man commented, giggling at how cute it was, “did I make your ears come out?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer. He maintained their eye contact for a bit and then he looked down at his hand. It wasn’t as tightly pressed against his mouth anymore, he could breath from there again. He maintained it there though, blushing.

The other man reached for it. For a moment, his boyfriend resisted to him trying to take it off but he eventually gave in. Then, Chanyeol was able to understand why he had been reluctant to moving it away. There was a string of saliva linking his lips to his palm.

Baekhyun blushed even harder, not wanting to meet with his partner’s eyes.

The man hovering over him felt like squealing. He quickly let go of the other’s hands to hug him tightly. By reflex, the smaller man reciprocated.

He snuggled his face into the crook of his neck and smiled; the other’s scent was reassuring. He felt sleepy all of a sudden.

“Nemui desu…” he mumbled. It made Chanyeol giggle.

He sat back and lifted the other man to move him to the cushions. He lay down next to him and continued to caress his thighs.

“Baekhyun…”

“Mmh?”

“Can I ask you a question regarding…” He didn’t want to say it.

The smaller opened his eyes to look at the man.

“Jung Ho?” The name got less and less hard to say as the months passed.

 “Yes.”

He looked away.

“Go ahead.”

Chanyeol understood he wouldn’t be looking at him when listening to the question or answering it. _That’s if he gives an answer._

“Do you…Do you still have feelings for him?”

“I do…He remains my mate even after passing away after all,” Baekhyun explained stoically.

“Oh.”

The smaller man felt his heart clench as he sensed the hurt in the other.

“Oh…So I’m not your-“

“No. Sorry.” He didn’t want Chanyeol to say it. It pained him just as much.

 

 

 

 

“I’m having a feeling of déjà-vu here,” Luhan commented, stepping inside the hangar. 

“Oh, gē. Hi. Yeah, it does feel like we’ve been in a similar situation not too long ago, didn’t we?” Chen laughed.

“Can’t sleep?” The older man sat on the couch in front of him.

“Nah. You neither?”

“I slept all day. I don’t even blink anymore. What’s your reason?”

“Tao’s too loud.”

“Yeah, I could hear him from my room.”

“It was like that last time too. I sleep fine when it’s Lay and Suho though…And when it was Kris and Suho too…But now...I guess Tao’s the problem.”

Luhan laughed.

“Don’t go telling him that though,” Chen continued, “it would hurt his pride.”

“I don’t think he cares if you like his voice or not,” the other man teased, “you’re not important enough.”

“Rude.”

His gēge looked at him seriously. He knew. _Well, fuck keeping that to yourself, right?_

“You don’t want to go to bed because you’re scared of the tension that could build up and since you two didn’t determine if it was fine or not to have sex yet, you’re scared that the talk will come up, right?”

“That was…Extremely precise.”

“Working as a host, you need to learn how to see through people.”

The older man sighed.      

“Listen up, dìdì. I’m one hundred percent sure that he would be ready to try it out with you. The only thing you need to do now is admit to him that you also want to.”

The younger man looked away.

“Wait, Chen? Are you shy?”

“I have to admit that I feel a little awkward now.”

Luhan giggled. “Okay. Sorry…”

“It’s just that we’ve had a platonic relationship for many years, it feels weird to be more intimate now.”

“Oh.” _Then was he saying he was awkward with me earlier or still with Baozi?_

“That doesn’t mean I want our relationship to go back to what it was before, I just still need time to adapt.”

“That’s fine; you can take your time but be sure to let Baozi know that that is what you need.”

“Yeah…And I don’t feel like simply jumping him out of nowhere for our first time, you know?”

“Yeah, well, Baozi likes romantic things so maybe you could take him on a date or something? Or arrange a supper together?”

“That’s…That feels awkward.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I don’t know. He’s my best friend.”

“Ah, right. You’re still calling each other best friends. So your relationship is still like that, ugh?”

“I feel like that might be too lovey-dovey for us for now.”

“A supper is not too lovey-dovey though. Just don’t put around candles and rose petals and it should be fine. It could just pass as spending time together platonically.”

“Yeah but we’d probably have to go to a restaurant or something, we can’t exactly just kick the pack out because we want to have dinner together.”

“How about I lend you my place?”

“Your place? Gē, no, I can’t ask for that.”

“You’re not asking, I’m proposing.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m not using it anyway. Would that be fine with you?”

“That could work…That could work very well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Hiiiii, I'm tired x) It's 1 am and I need to wake up at like 8 tomorrow but I really wanted to post this chapter so, here I go :) The feels, huh? I am also in pain. It was really hard to write. Sometimes I stop myself and I,m just like "this hurts too much, I can't post that" but then I remember that this is the story and I want to tell it as it is. 
> 
> ALSO, I SPENT THREE DAYS TRYING TO WRITE THE SMUT SCENE SO I HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT.  What's fun about writing about shape-shifters is that they are stronger than humans, right? So it`s not abnormal to write something like what Chanyeol did since it's doable for them. 
> 
> Next chapter is Xiuchen, hope you have good patience <3 
> 
> Luv u <3 


	36. Try and See Part 1

“So,” Xiumin started, “if I understand correctly, you’re taking me out on a dinner date.”

“Not a date, no,” Chen answered, “I just asked you if you wanted to go eat out with me; it’s not necessarily a date. I just wanted to eat with you without the others around.”

“That’s a date. You are describing what a date is.”

“A date is…No, it sounds-”

“A date can be between best friends.”

“…Yeah, okay.”

The older man laughed.

They were walking outside, heading towards a destination Chen had kept secret from Xiumin.

“No. To be honest, yeah: it’s kind of a date,” the younger man admitted.

“Oh, alright.”

“A romantic one I mean.”

“Yeah, I understood.”

“I wanted…I thought we could try to do something like that once…See how that goes.”

“Sure.”

Chen looked to his side, where Xiumin couldn’t see his face. _Ah…I’m embarrassed. This is awkward…_

“So, where are you taking me?”

“Huh?”

“I made you discover what a love hotel was, try to beat that,” Xiumin dared him.

With a self-assured look, he accepted the challenge, seeing that they were now on the street where their destination was.

“It’s…Something like that.”

“Something like a love hotel?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright…Do you think I ever went there? Or did we already go there?”

“I never went there but I heard you did.”

“Alright, so I know the place.”

“Yeah.”

  1. were in front of Luhan’s apartment building. Chen stopped him by opening the door to the complex, signing him to enter. He took keys out of his pocket.



Xiumin frowned.

“Are we really going where I think we’re going?”

“Yep.”

Chen unlocked the second door and held it open for his gēge who, for a moment, only stared at him, judgement in his eyes. He walked in, nonetheless.

As they were waiting for the elevator, he turned to him, suddenly offended:

“How is my best friend’s apartment alike a fucking love hotel?”

“I thought _I_ was your best friend?” the other replied, faking a chagrined expression.

“Don’t try to guilt me out of this conversation.”

Chen’s laugh broke his pout.

“So? Explain yourself.”

“Doesn’t gē bring his clients here once in a while? He told me he had a room for that.”

“If he did office work at home would you call his home an office? No, you would call it his home. It’s no different.”

“Ah…Yeah, you’re right gē…Sorry.”

“Of course I’m right.”

There was a slight blush on his cheek, very faint but often present when the older man would voice out clever replies. Sometimes he stammered but this time he didn’t. _He must be proud of himself._

“You asked him, right?” Xiumin wondered.

“No, I stole his keys.” The older man turned to him. “Of course I asked him!”

“Did he call Hotaru-mèi? Cause she shut down his electricity when he came at the pack.”

“Yeah, I think he did.”

“You ‘think’?”

“We’ll know when we get there.”

“I guess.”

Soon, they were opening the lights inside of the apartment.

“He did call her,” Chen commented as the living room lit up.

“Hope they also turned the water back on ‘cause I’ll most likely have to pee later on.”

Xiumin casually trod to the kitchen and to its sink. He turned it on. It made a worrisome noise before water came running out. He stopped it and turned to his companion who was still standing close to the entry.

The older man walked to the couch and, once there, seeing Chen was still hesitant to come in, he patted the seat next to him to make the other understand that it was fine for him to do so.

“Did you plan anything? Ordering? Cooking?” Xiumin asked when he sat down.

“I thought maybe ordering something? Would that be fine with you? We could order sushi?”

“Mmmmh,” the other licked his lips, “yes, I’m down for sushi.”

“Alright. Are you hungry now?”

“Now that we talked about food, yes; I am hungry.”

It made Chen giggle.

“Okay, wait a sec.”

He went to search through his handbag and came back with a menu and his cell phone.

 

 

 

 

“Why not a restaurant?”

“Ah…I felt like it was too romantic? With the dim lighting and all.”

“There are many sushi shops that don’t have dim lighting.”

“Yeah but…I don’t know, I felt like being alone with you, that’s all.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” Xiumin teased.

Chen closed his eyes, slightly embarrassed.

“Why are you like this,” he grumbled, “you did things like this too, when you went out with people.”

“Not really.”

“No?”

“I mean it happened twice that I actually re-met with girls I slept with to eat dinner but it ended there.”

Chen moved to have a better look at his gēge’s face.

“You mean you only fucked them and that was it?”

“Woah. I didn’t ‘just fuck them’. I took care of them and they took care of me. I made sure they enjoyed themselves as much as I did and that they were comfortable with me.”

“That doesn’t push away the fact that you only had sex together. And here I thought you were a romantic…”

“I believe the ‘together’ is important. I might not have been romantic with them since I never really found anyone I seemed to like enough, but I was still a gentleman.”

Chen laughed at that.

There was a moment.

“How many?” He asked.

“’How many’ what?”

“How many girls since we arrived in Japan? Are you popular?”

“Why are you asking? What does it do to you?”

“Because you never talk about those things with me, I wanna know!”

“Why would you want to know that? It’s my private life.”

Xiumin knew if he continued on denying answers, Chen would probably start whining which amused him a lot. He often did that, mostly when they were with other people but sometimes it happened when they were only the two of them and these days it felt like it was easier to get him to be in that cry-baby mood.

“Why not? You’re my best friend; I want to know things about you.”

“You don’t need to know about my hook-ups.”

“Fine,” the poor man looked dejected.

Xiumin knew better than to believe that he was done with sulking. He waited a moment.

“Does Luhan know?”

“Yeah, he does.”

He was satisfied when Chen pushed him.

“So you tell him but not me, the person you are going out with.”

The older man let out a bright laugh and glanced at his accomplice that kept on pouting, now offended by the other’s mocking.

The latter continued to stare at him while he kept silent, pensive. After a moment, he let out a number:

“Nine.”

“Nine? In two years? I was expecting a bigger number. Something like ‘thirty’.”

“Because you could tell me you did better?”

“…No…Minus or counting the prostitute?”

“Ah, no. Forgot about her. That’s ten.”

“Round number, bravo.”

They shared a laugh.

Xiumin went to rest his chin on Chen’s shoulder.

“You?”

“Mmh? Ah, well, you know already.”

“Really? I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember the whole thing I had with Baekhyun?”

“Ah!”

Silence.

“Really? Only him?”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?”

“Well, I mean, I just told you I slept with ten different women in the span of two years so your story is kind of boring.” Xiumin looked up at the other man who was staring at him, slightly insulted. “No offence.”

Chen looked away.

“Speaking of Baekhyun,” Xiumin continued, “did you talk with him?”

“Ah, no.”

“You sensed it too, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he told him about…”

“Probably…I feel sorry for Chanyeol; things were getting better and then ‘bang’ again. It must be getting hard on him. I get why he snapped the other day. Good thing Kris was there to calm him down.”

“Mmh…You said he never told you anything, was that true?”

“Baekhyun?”

Xiumin nodded.

“He told me some things that made me understand many others but he never came out about it like he did with Chanyeol. Well, that is, what we think he did with Chanyeol. With me…When we used to sleep together he would say things in his sleep or when he cried or there were things we couldn’t do during sex…Things like that…”

He sighed.

“We know for a fact that he’s Chanyeol’s mate but I feel like that’s not all. I feel like Chanyeol’s also his mate and I wish I could tell him but I have no proof to back me up and I _know_ he’ll be asking for some.”

“Mmh…Maybe Luhan could see if he is. He was able to notice for us after all.”

“Yeah…Maybe.”

The older man gave him a comforting pat on the back and Chen couldn’t help but smile at him.

 

 

 

 

“You’re paying? You didn’t tell me you were paying.”

“I invited you.”

“I didn’t think you’d pay for both our bills.”

Poor delivery girl who had to watch while the two of them argumented in Mandarin…

“I’ll pay next time,” Xiumin finally said.

“Sure.”

Chen smiled at the girl and paid for the bill. She didn’t wait to run away.

They installed themselves around Luhan’s kitchen island, opened the boxes of food, separated their wooden chopsticks and happily dived in.

“I always…I can’t help feeling guilty when we eat out. Like I know that we’re fine now since the girls accepted to give us a bigger share of the school but still…”

“Gē, it’s my money I’m using, not the pack’s.”

“I know but still. I feel like it’s not necessary. I’m not saying that I’m unhappy that you invited me, I am. But like…”

“We don’t always have to do things that are necessary. Gē, the part of your incomes that goes to the packs’ budget is already greater than ours, you shouldn’t-”

“I feel like I could just give it all. I never buy anything for myself anyway.”

“You don’t need to do that. I mean sure, if that’s what you want…I guess you could, but really there’s no reason to do that anymore. You’re already doing more than enough.”

“Mmh…I don’t feel extremely bad though, don’t worry. It’s just a small part of me that says ‘it would be better if you didn’t do that’. I’m still really happy to eat sushi with you. It’s just…Yeah.”

“Yeah. It’s fine, I understand.”

Chen was going to eat another sushi but, before it entered his mouth, he decided to put it back down, glancing at Xiumin. He dropped his chopsticks and with the goal in mind to peck his gēge’s cheek, he leaned towards him.

He wasn’t able to reach his goal as gravity, like the _good_ friend it was, decided to cockblock him. His chair, imitating his movement, also leaned towards the other man and Chen felt his blood run cold.

He was, however, quick enough to regain his stability not without the metallic clinking of the chair’s circular base on the floor.

He didn’t breath for a second - Xiumin who was staring at him couldn’t either, having been scared that his teammate would have fallen on him – but realizing that he wasn’t hurt he sighed deeply.

Chen burst out laughing and the older man simply looked at him, slightly smiling.

“Shénme guǐ a?” Xiumin spoke. He didn’t understand what had just happened.

“I tried to kiss you and failed.” He continued laughing. “That’s what happened.”

Xiumin half sighed half scoffed.

“Eat and let me eat, you should do one thing at a time. You can kiss me after.”

With that they returned to eating, Chen still laughing about what had just happened.

 

 

 

 

“It’s fine, I’ll do it.”

“I can do it, I don’t mind.”

“You paid for the sushis, I’ll do it.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“Sit down, I’ll do it today, you can do it next time.”

Chen didn’t talk back any more. He sat back down on the chair he had been so close to fall off from earlier that day and watched as the other man threw away what they had emptied and emptied what they hadn’t. He placed the sushis they hadn’t touched in receptacles he had found after looking through Luhan’s cabinets and put them in the fridge. He prayed they didn’t forget them there when they would leave.

When he was done, he went to sit back down, turning the chair so he could face his best friend.

They stared at each other.

They exchanged a smile.

The room was quiet; something that would rarely happen at the dorms.

It was nice.

Chen stood up and walked over to Xiumin to pose steady hands on the seat under him. He glanced at him confidently before giving him a peck on the lips.

It lasted longer than they had both expected it to.

The older man made himself comfortable by letting his posture relax and by resting his forearms on his mate’s shoulder. Soon, his hands rejoined behind the other’s neck. His thumb grazed over the short hair on his nape.

“Oh?” Xiumin teased as his fellow being quivered. Chen only giggled as an answer.

Eventually, shortly after tongues had gotten involved, the younger man pulled away, placing his hands on his best friends’ tights. He chuckled, never meeting Xiumin’s eyes.

“You really are a good kisser,” he declared.

“How would you know? Didn’t you say you only experienced with Baekhyun?”

“I was talking sex-wise. I’ve kissed enough people in the past to know you’re a good kisser,” Chen assured.

“When?”

“Huh? Eh…” He seemed embarrassed all of a sudden. “Well, all the time-“

“When did you kiss those people?” Xiumin hadn’t heard the end of his mate’s answer.

The younger man seemed to have understood something. His timidity diminished.

“In Guangdong,” he proclaimed, “I used to see a lot of girls then.”

“Ah, right. You were always out during vacation.”

The second their eyes met, Chen looked away, a slight blush on his cheeks.

The older man raised an eyebrow.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked playfully, inclining his head on the side.

The other took a deep breath and looked back up, nervous.

Although Xiumin trusted that there was no grave matter at hand, he couldn’t help but worry a bit.

“How do you feel about sex?” His partner asked.

“With you?”

“Yeah…With me. One day. Maybe. If you want to.”

“Of course. I thought you had already assumed what my answer to that question would be. I thought it was already…” He looked for a word.

“Yeah but I thought it would more considerate if I actually asked the question.”

“As much as I do believe you are a civilized person; don’t try to hide your nervous self behind a gentleman mask.”

“…Alright…That was well said by the way.”

“Thank you.”

They stared at each other warmly.

Xiumin was the first one to look away, laughing shyly. When he looked back, the confidence he had in his eyes was unsettling.

“So, did you have plans like those for us today or..?” The older man pulled Chen slightly closer.

“Eh…Yes and no.” The latter answered doing his best to ignore the sudden wave of heat that had flowed through his body. “I thought that if it lead to that and you wanted to as well then, yeah, we could. But it wasn’t…I mean I didn’t really do a detailed plan for today to start with so…” It felt normal to talk to Xiumin about sex and about wanting to have sex with him for some reason, the younger man noted.

“Alright.” The other pat his butt to sign him to move. Xiumin got up and headed towards the door. “Come.” He grabbed his coat while Chen remained at his place, frowning.

“What are you doing?” The latter asked.

“I could ask you the same thing; aren’t you coming?”

“Where?”

“Well, I doubt Luhan would enjoy it if we had sex in his apartment.”

“Oh no, he said it’s fine.”

“…He did?”

“Yeah, he says we can use his room if we want to.”

“No he didn’t. He wouldn’t. He hates having people on his bed. Unless it’s if we use the floor but I don’t quite feel like-“

“Oh no, no. Not his actual room. The other one. His…Office?”

“Oh! Really? I never went inside…”

“He gave us the permission to use anything we needed as long as we washed it after.”

Xiumin clearly had not expected that from his deer friend.

Curiosity got the best of him.

Without a word to his comrade, he headed to his friend’s room. He opened the door carefully, still feeling as if he wasn’t supposed to be there. Luhan had showed the room to him before but only briefly and only from the outside. It looked fairly normal. The colors made it warmer and more sensual than his other room and the handles on the walls on which the huge bed stood against gave away what the room was for but, other than that, it looked normal.

When Chen entered, seconds later, Xiumin was heading towards a corner of the room. There, there were closed curtains that created a space to hide from eyes.

The younger man took a moment to look around. He noticed, on the wall on the left when you entered the room, light switches. It seemed to have a switch to put it on and off and two others that reassembled dimmers. He tested them. One was indeed a dimmer while the other changed the color of the beam. There was orange, red, pink and purple.

“Are you doing that?” Xiumin asked from behind the curtains.

“Yep.”

“Leave it on pink and come here.”

“Pink? Okaaaay.”

Behind the curtains, there was a wardrobe with many drawers through which the older man was looking.

“So?”

“He has soooo much stuff!” Xiumin sounded fascinated. “Look.”

There was a drawer filled with dildos and vibrators cleanly organized. There were about a dozen.

“Oh my god…Are those-“

“Yes!”

“He’s got a complete collection.”

“Indeed. And those aren’t the only things he’s got: look.”

Opening another drawer, Xiumin pulled out a police uniform and passed it to him.

“He has plenty of costumes too apparently.” He pulled another one out. “That’s a fucking maid uniform.” He laughed.

“I’d like to see you in this,” Chen teased, referring to the police uniform.

“I’d like to see you in _this,_ ” the other man replied as playfully.

He was pointing to the interior of a wardrobe he had just opened. _Holy shit._ There were two sets of leather bondage harness suits or whatever that was called. There was a black one and a pink one that seemed to go with a pair of ash brown dog ears and a tail- butt plug tail of the same color. The pink one was the one he was pointing at.

Dismissing his surprise – why was he even surprised? Luhan was a sex worker after all. Wasn’t it normal for him to own such things – he raised a brow at his gēge. He didn’t want to think what he had said had embarrassed him; he knew that’s what the other man had wanted to do.

“Didn’t know you were into that. I thought you would like softer things. You really aren’t a romantic after all.”

“Don’t you think there’s something romantic in being able to trust your partner enough to give yourself?”

Chen gave an approving pout. “Put that way…”

Xiumin smirked but it was nothing sexual. “You keep talking about me being romantic…”

“It’s Luhan…He told me you were a romantic.”

The older man scoffed. “Well, yeah. I like romance but I’m not _particularly_ romantic. I just like making the people I’m with happy and blushing once in a while. I don’t know where he got that…”

“Should I expect roses on White Day then?”

“Will you give me chocolates on Valentine’s day?”

“Sure,” Chen laughed and his gēge grinned.

Just like that, without anything to transition their discussion to something more physical, they were back to making-out. Until now their kissing had been gentle or at least semi-gentle but this time it was rather carnal. There was a certain delicacy that remained, yes, but, it was mostly new. They had never shared such a fiery kiss before.

“You’ll have to guide me,” Xiumin let out between two licks, “I’ve never had sex with a guy before.”

“That’s not true…” Chen sighed lovingly. “With Luhan-gē…” The younger man was brought his lips to the other’s again but the latter decided to rest his forehead against his. Chen opened his eyes again and noticed the older man staring into them.

“I didn’t have sex with Luhan,” he giggled, “he gave me a blowjob and I jerked him off, nothing more.” It sounded like he was trying to reassure him, most likely thinking he was jealous while truly he wasn’t.

“That’s still a sexual intercourse, gē.” It was the younger man’s turn to giggle.

Finding truth in the other’s words, Xiumin imitated him.

Chen pecked his lips. “Should I understand that you would want to move on to something else?”

His mate hummed. The look in his eyes said it all. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Aaaaah noooo, author-nim is again cutting when the stuff was getting good ;-; ;-; ;-; sorryyyy :S it's just that since I've been writing slowly lately I didn't want to risk making you wait even longer for the second part of this (I might change the title at some point because I don`t quite like this one...I might also start liking it; it`s a possibility)...So here's some domestic Xiuchen for now :) (can I say that this is domestic? I feel like it is) 
> 
> Hope you are all doing well, I went to see Black Panther today and watched The Danish Girl yesterday (and Kung Fu Yoga but let's not talk about that one (Lay was adorable though)) and cried so that's good :)
> 
> So, after part 2 of this chapter there will be another chapter which will be the ending chapter and then that's gonna be it...LBO will be done...And that's really weird since it's been like 2 years? It's gonna make 2 years this summer. D: And I know there's always Of Bygone Days (didn't talk about this here: Basically I'll write the backstory of like Baekhyun and Luhan and KrisHo on the side after I'm done with this. If you're interested, it'll be there) that I'm not done with yet but...Holy shit. 
> 
> Anyway, don't hesitate to leave a comment, luv u <3 


	37. Try and See Part 2

“Can I come in?”

“Eh…No. Wait a bit more. That shit’s really hard to put on.”

“Do you want help?”

“No, I’ll be...” Xiumin heard Chen struggle with something and whisper: “Fuck yes. Got it.” A few seconds later, he was calling him in.

After closing the door, the older man raised an eyebrow at him: “Are you kidding me? You’re fully dressed!”

“I’m shy.”

He was sitting on the bed. The older man went to see him, kneeling next to him and leaning in to kiss him. He pulled on his collar and subtly looked under his dìdi’s shirt. He grinned.

“Did you want me to undress you?”

“You got it.”

They laughed.

“Yes. Undress me, mister policeman.”

They both acknowledged that that line had been quite lame and mostly cheesy and mocked it together until their lips touched again.

They separated.

“Okay, hands up.”

Chen’s eyebrows rose at the ordering tone. He opened his eyes to the confident, powerful and semi-playful gaze of his best friend.

“Oh! Getting into character, aren’t we?” The younger man said, doing as told.

“I think I might just be…”

Xiumin pulled on the hem of his shirt slightly up and then let it fall back down, deciding to simply let his hands travel on it, fondling his mate’s torso.

Next thing Chen knew, he was being tickled which made him lower his arm in defence and which lead to his gē to wrap his hand around his neck.

He didn’t hurt him or anything - he didn’t apply any pressure - but the sudden motion had surprised the younger man. He was frightened for a second until he saw the grin on his best friend’s face.

“Are you disobeying orders given to you by a defender of the law, Chen?”

“Dude, you tickled me. That was no fair.” He was raising his hands again.

“That’s _‘sir’_ for you.”

Chen chuckled. He couldn’t believe it. What was he even thinking, agreeing to this relationship? He leaned in for a kiss Xiumin refused him.

His feelings were slightly hurt but not for long. The older man rapidly took his shirt off to throw it away and the younger did his best to keep his hands up despite the sudden cold draught on his skin.

His best friend eyed him up. He touched the pink leather and then pulled on it.

“It fits you well,” he commented.

“It was a bitch to get on,” Chen replied, “if you had said you didn’t like it I would have thrown a fit.”

“Maybe I should have said just that to see you throwing a fit.”

“You’re an ass. Can I put my arms down now?”

“You think I’m gonna allow you to put your hands down after you called me an ass? You’re dreaming.”

“Gē!”

Said man grabbed on the harness roughly to pull him towards him. “What did I say earlier?”

“You really like this, don’t you?” Chen teased and Xiumin’s smile only enlarged.

“Face down,” the older man ordered and the other obeyed after defying him for a few seconds.

“Were you in the mood to give me a massage, sir?”

“You wish.”

Chen felt something fluffy against his wrist and then heard a “click”. The fluffy thing pressed closer to his wrist encircling it. _Wait._

He tried to take his hand away but the same thing happened to his other wrist and he understood they were attached together.

“You have the right to remain silent,” Xiumin spoke softly. He leaned in to whisper close to his ear: “But please don’t. I’d like to hear what you sound like in bed.”

Chen scoffed. “Did you really just handcuff me?”

“Yep.”

The older Shanghainese helped the other back on his knees and turned him so that he would face him to reunite their lips.

“If you’re not down for something just say ‘karashi’ and I’ll stop.”

“Mustard? Where did that come from?”

“I tried a few things out with that prostitute and…She gave me that word.”

Chen laughed dizzily.

They continued kissing until the younger man lost his balance, falling on Xiumin who caught him and held him against his chest. He rested his chin on the older man’s shoulder, catching his breath.

Xiumin pushed him on the cushions.

“Here. You’ll be more comfortable that way.”

And they were back to kissing, tongues into each other’s mouths. The older man’s hands were all over the other’s torso and Chen wished he could do the same to his gē.

Wanting to touch his mate more and not being able to use his hands to do so, it was the younger man’s hips that moved instead. It made the smaller man halt a second and Chen worried as he felt Xiumin’s arousal lessen.

He was about to speak when the latter giggled and reciprocated the gesture which made the younger man gasp in surprise.

And that is how they started dry humping the shit out of each other while, heat undoubtedly pooling down both of their bodies and everywhere else. Chen’s mouth had grown more aggressive, frustrated by the fact that he couldn’t embrace his best friend like he wanted to.

“You’re so happy,” Xiumin broke the kiss to breathe and his dìdi posed his lips on his neck instead, “it’s kind of overwhelming.”

“Sorry,” Chen laughed, feeling only slightly apologetic.

“I like it.”

They looked into each other’s eyes, the older man cupping the younger’s face to then put his fingers into his hair, their breathing rapid.

“Can we…You know…” Xiumin started and Chen raised an eyebrow.

“You can’t be more vague, right?”

The ice wielder smiled shyly.

"I wanna know what it’s like with you…” He let his hands travel lower on the man’s back, brushing against his bound arms and then resting on his rear.

The younger man understood the timid insinuation.

“You want to try out anal sex?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not saying that because you feel that that’s bound to happen in gay relations, right? Because we are never obliged to do that. Don’t feel like you are…”

“I know but I also know that I’ll want to try it out at some point so I thought: ‘why not now since we’re experimenting?’”

“Don’t you feel like it would be too fast?”

“Do you?”

“Maybe? I wouldn’t mind personally but you…”

“I’m saying I want to try, Chenny Chenny˜”

“…Okay…But don’t be scared to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Come on,” Xiumin spoke, straightening up, “do you really think I’ll ever be scared to speak my mind to you?”

“Right…Okay, but you’ll have to undo this,” he referred to his handcuffs.

“Why? We can do it like that, no?”

“Well, yeah, you can handcuff me again after but I need to help you prepare cause we wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”

The older man frowned. “Wait…I’m bottoming?”

“You wanted me to bottom?”

“Well…I thought…Yes? I mean you know how topping feels like since, well, with Baekhyun...”

“Eh…I mean, I wouldn’t mind bottoming, it’s just that, since I’m more experienced, I think it would be safer to show you how it feels first.”

“Because that’s what you did with Baekhyun?” Xiumin raised an eyebrow.

“…No, but I would have wanted to. It’s just that he never wanted to top…I had done some experimenting on my side though…Okay, here’s what we can do: I can prepare the both of us and we’ll decide later what we feel like doing, sounds good?”

After Xiumin joyfully approved of the proposition, he proceeded to free his friend’s hands. The latter proceeded to go look for lubricant while the other man took the comforter off the bed so that they wouldn’t have to wash it.

“Seriously, where does he put that?”

“Do we really need it?”

Chen took a moment to verify if his friend was serious.

“Yes.” He continued looking around the room. “There’s no way we’re doing it without if you’ve never done it before. And since the anus doesn’t self-lubricate-”

“It doesn’t?”

The younger man stared at his best friend.

“Are you serious? No. It doesn’t. And that’s why we need lube.”

“Can’t we just use saliva?”

“We’ll need a lot if we do…It would just be easier if I could just…”

“Did you check under the bed?”

“What? There’s no space.”

“There are drawers?”

“Really? Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Thought you knew.”

After looking, Chen found the bottle – _holy shit, that’s a lot –_ of lubricant. Next to it, there were a few towels piled up. _Smart._ He took one out and laid it on the bed.

“Lie down,” the younger man suggested and the other complied.

The atmosphere was awkward. The both of them were nervous and they could feel it. It felt like, all of a sudden, they didn’t know how to act with each other. This was so new to them.

Chen pulled the back of Xiumin’s pants down and the latter shivered.

“You still okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, I just got cold.”

Still, speaking felt normal apparently.

The older man watched as his partner coated his fingers.

The latter pushed his friends’ legs closer to his chest. Xiumin grew kind of shy as he saw Chen stare at his butt.

The younger man touched his rim - and it was a really soft touch kind of to warn him of the following contacts - and it had Xiumin tensing up, taking a deep breath.

“Cold again?” Chen asked.

“Hum…Right now I’ll admit I’m mostly nervous,” the lying man confessed, timidly showing his gums in a half smile.

“Mmh…Don’t worry, okay? I know my business, just relax.”

“Yeah…”

Xiumin focused on his breathing, looking at the ceiling.

He felt the shirtless man’s hand fondle across the skin around his asshole, spreading the lubricant and relaxing the muscles there at the same time.

“Tell me if ever anything hurts.” Chen looked straight into his eyes.

“Yeah.”

The younger man put his attention back on his best friend’s rear. The latter felt him push lightly on his rim.

“Are you gonna prepare me first and then you?”

“Eh…No, I thought I would start you a bit and then prepare the both of us at the same time. Well, at least, I’ll try…” Chen laughed. “That’s gonna be new to me. It’ll probably be a mess since my coordination is still kind of shit, but we’ll see then I guess.”

Xiumin chuckled and his partner used his moment of relaxation to push a finger in. The older man gasped.

“Did not expect that?” His dìdi teased him.

“It feels kind of weird,” the other man replied, ignoring the other’s comment.

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“No, it’s fine. It just…Yeah: it feels weird. I guess I’ll get used to it though.”

“Yeah.”

Chen continued, careful, to prepare his gēge. They would exchange words once in a while, conversing as they would in any other situation. The uneasiness had died down.

One of Xiumin’s hand let go of the legs he had been holding close to his stomach to reach for the bondage attire the other was wearing.

“It’s kind of small for you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Still, it fits you.”

“Thanks,” the younger man giggled at the random compliment.

“If it hurts you can take it off, you know?”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t really mind.”

“Oki…That’ll leave you pretty marks.”

“Oh my god, gē,” Chen burst out laughing.

Xiumin let his hand caress the other’s chest and his fingers brush against his bud.

“It’s kind of making your pecks stand out. I like that.” He pinched the kneeling man’s nipple and he moved away slightly. The younger man let a petite grin spread on his lips timidly. There was affection in Xiumin’s reaction.

“I’ll be honest, I might miss boobs a bit but…I can deal with this I think.” He grasped on one of Chen pecks to then let his hand fall back on the back of his thigh, holding his leg once again.

After a moment, Chen pulled away, deciding that it was time he started preparing himself. He lubbed the finger of his other hand and found a way to be comfortable while fingering the both of them.

Soon, he was able to enter another digit into his mate. The latter had become accustomed to the feeling of one finger by now and wouldn’t deny liking the addition. Well, to himself that is. He wasn’t ready to tell Chen yet so he did his best to not react.

At this point, he wanted to touch himself. He knew his best friend could probably sense that he was becoming more excited – hornier, let’s use the proper words – but he didn’t want to affirm it, to make a statement.

Their eyes met and Xiumin was scared the other man could read into him.

“Kiss me,” he demanded, out of the blue. It made his dìdi laugh.

“Alright, sir.”

As if that had been a good idea. They had great kissing chemistry. Really, really, great chemistry. They had already come to the agreement that it turned the both of them on so why had Xiumin thought that had been a good idea?

He felt every inch of his body itch for a touch. He wanted for Chen to touch him deeper, to press on that spot at a quicker pace. He wanted to release the tension that had been building up bellow his abdomen for so long now and maybe try to do so for his mate too, that would be nice. _Ah, shit._

His legs, still clothed, separated their bodies, frustrating him even more.

He moaned internally. _Yeah, okay. He really does “know his business.”_

Chen lost his balance, fell on him and took his fingers out of him by the same occasion. Xiumin sighed, dazzled by how he had felt just then. He chuckled and the younger man reciprocated.

“Okay, this isn’t going to work.” He pushed himself up, comically demoralized.

“What is?” Xiumin asked, acting as if he wasn’t still in a daze.

Chen straightened up, pulling his pants up and the older man watched him, having already forgotten he had asked a question.

“I’ll see if I can’t find a dildo or something to help me.”

He got off the bed and went behind the curtains where Luhan stored his supplies once again.

The lying man took that time to catch his breath and to spread his numbing legs on the mattress.

“Hey, gē?” He heard Chen say from behind the curtains.

“Mmh?”

“I have an idea.”

“I’m listening.”

“You have to look.”

The younger man came out and Xiumin turned his head to see he was holding some things in his hands.

“What is that?”

“I believe those are vibrators. Well, butt plugs that can vibrate.”

“Oh?”

Chen walked back to the bed and sat on it.

“I thought - but you can totally say no, I won’t be offended - that we could, eh…Have like some kind of competition?”

Xiumin raised an eyebrow.

“I thought we could use these to see who lasts the longer. The person that wins gets to decide if they top or bottom.”

Determination sparkled in the older man’s eyes.

“Yeah. Let’s do that.”

Xiumin pushed himself up.

“Any rules?”

“So they both have controllers: I say we each control the other’s.”

“Fine by me.”

“Do you have a preference?” Chen referred to the two vibrators he was holding.

“Not really, they’re pretty much the same, aren’t they?”

“Yeah. Okay, you have this one, I’ll take this one so…That’s the remote to control mine.”

“Okay.”

“Lie down; I’ll help you get it in.”

“I can do it by myself.”

“Sure, just don’t force it.”

“Got it.”

The older man looked at the toy for a second. He took a deep breath. _Okay._ He brought it behind him and tried to look at what he was doing without really succeeding. He aligned it with his rim by poking a bit everywhere around before finding the hole.

He applied light pressure. _Okay, that’s a bit bigger than two fingers._ He took deep breaths, pushing the toy deeper every time he did so.

He closed his eyes and turned his head to the ceiling. _It’s getting in. Bit by bit._

When he looked down again, he noticed Chen staring at him. He raised an eyebrow and saw his best friend get slightly embarrassed.

“Are you appreciating the sight?”

“I swear I was simply watching to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself.”

“Yeah, right.”

“But you are also a pretty sight.”

“You bet I am.” He noticed the vibrator in the other’s hand. “Aren’t you gonna...?”

“Ah. Yeah.”

Xiumin laughed. _Yeah right that you were just making sure I didn’t hurt myself._

The older man got startled when the plug got sucked in completely. _Ah, it’s in._

“I’m good,” he announced.

“Same,” Chen replied after letting out a sigh.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ve experienced before, remember?”

After wiping his hands on the towel between them, he put them on the fabric of his pants, pulling them down slightly before stopping to look up at Xiumin.

“Do you mind if I take my pants off? I don’t want to get them dirty but I would understand if it would weird you out.”

“Of course not,” the older man laughed, “it’s fine. I should probably do the same.”

As he proceeded to take his clothes off, he spoke up again: “Hey, by the way, you really don’t need to ask for permission every time you do something. I’ll tell you if I’m uncomfortable with something. You should know, after all these-“

“I understand but I prefer to do so,” Chen cut.

“Oh, okay.”

“Sorry, that was kinda of harsh.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“It’s just that…After being with Baekhyun all these years I kind of learned that asking before doing things was…Better.”

“Sure, I understand.”

The younger man smiled, thankful.

“To be honest, I’m sad you took the police uniform off. You looked hot.”

Xiumin smirked and signed his best friend to come closer. He pecked the other’s lips.

“I’ll wear it again if you like it that much.”

“Please.”

Their bodies ignited aided by kisses and the intensity of their emotions.

“One thing.” The older man said in between contacts.

“I’m listening.”

“Don’t touch my dick.”

  1. pulled away slightly, putting his hands on his gē’s torso. He wanted the subject to be addressed properly.



“As in ‘not now’ or as in ‘never’?”

“Just ‘not now’, don’t worry.” He kissed the other again; the lust reflected in his eyes and motions made him look drunk. “I just worry I’ll come to fast if you touch me.”

“Sure…Are you ready?”

“Mmh.”

“Okay, then, on the count of three: one…two…three.”

The both of them were surprised by the sudden vibrations. The older man maybe slightly more. He gripped the other’s upper arms for support in the beginning to then push him away, realizing his reaction was bigger than his dìdi’s.

“You okay?” Chen teased, knowingly.

The other breathed calmly, showing confidence: “Yeah. It’s surprising, that’s all.”

“Indeed.”

They waited a moment to get accustomed to the feeling. They were both kneeling. There was some space between them without them being too far from each other. The towel was lying in front of them.

The younger man asked the other if he was okay with augmenting the intensity. Xiumin complied, apprehending.

As soon as they had both augmented the intensity to the other’s vibrator, the older man’s cheeks went red. He let his head hang forward, eyebrows furrowed as he concentrated into trying to not get too aroused. Useless efforts, he realized it even before trying.

_Fuck this. It’s sure I lose._

He picked up a scent as he breathed in and looked up to see Chen staring at him.

His jaw was slack; his eyebrows rose in a mix of amazement, surprise and longing; his eyes were both sparkling and vaporous.

He straightened up when he noticed Xiumin was watching him, his expression changing immediately into a shy one.

The older man frowned. _I turn him on?_ It was a stupid question considering the circumstances but it was still what Xiumin asked himself before wanting to test the idea he had had simultaneously.

He let his head hang once again, this time exaggerating the motion. He let out a small gasp and heard shift. He smirked. _It’s working._

Admittedly, he may have been the more butt-sensible between the two of them and that may have been what they were trying to test by doing this competition but he didn’t want to lose whatever the truth was. He wanted to win, simply and with that strategy he thought he would probably be able to do just that.

He was delighted.

He let his head roll to his right shoulder, the angle making it easier for Chen to have a good look at his reactions. His eyes were closed – he was sure he wouldn’t be able to remain serious in his acting if he didn’t do so – and he would let out some soft moans.

It was weird to hear himself do those sounds. He was usually pretty quiet in the bedroom but, hey, if it could bring him to win this petty competition, he could get a bit weirded out.

Suddenly, the vibrations became stronger and the sound that came out of his voice wasn’t an act.

“You could have warned me!” Xiumin whined, hastily reaching for the control to Chen’s toy.

“I didn’t feel like disturbing you,” he straightened up when the intensity augmented but kept a teasing smile on his face, “you looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

The older man had fire in his eyes. _Don’t you go thinking you have the upper hand._

He looked at the ceiling and closed his eyes. He opened his mouth so that his heavy breathing would be heard by his partner. He put his hands on his thighs rubbing them up to his hips, caressing his belly to then let his fingers trace their way back to his thighs, in their inner part and then on top again.

“Shit.”

He smirked as he heard the younger man’s reaction.

He shifted his weight forward, raising on his knees and then coming back to his earlier position. He did that a few times. Up and then down; down and then up.

He was actually enjoying this act of seduction. Behind closed eyelids he felt confident, as if in a trance.

“Want more?” Chen asked.

When he looked at him, his gēge noticed he was blushing. He knew he was too, probably down to his neck, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that he was winning.

“Mmh, fuck. Yes. Please.”

His moans pitched when the younger man did as he was asked. _Okay, maybe asking for more was a bad idea in the end._

“Ah, fuck, gē.”

The older man’s moans weren’t an act anymore, neither were his movements. Xiumin really couldn’t control them. _Fuck, I’m close._

He opened his eyes to look at Chen, see if he was too. He noticed the younger man had a hand around his cock, precum leaking from it already.

_He must be close too. Hopefully, he’ll come before me._

“Shit.” Xiumin let out. “Fuck.”

His hands formed fists, pressed on his thighs. His body was screaming for him to jerk off but he didn’t want to listen. _If I do that, I’ll come._

“Come,” Chen spoke, “you want to, don’t you?”

“And let you win? Fuck off.”

“Does winning really matter now? Would winning feel as good as wrapping your fingers around your shaft and coming?”

Xiumin gripped his thighs as a wave of pleasure ran across his body, making him wail.

“Shut up.”

He could feel the sweat pearls slipping on his chest.

“Maybe you changed your mind. Maybe you would like _my_ fingers more around your dick. Is that what you want, gē?”

“Fuck, Chen.” _Shut up._

“Do you want more?”

“Yes! Please, Chen. Please!”

It took a moment before the other actually put the vibrations stronger. It was surprising considering he had had the remote in his hand.

At this point, Xiumin was sure he had tears in his eyes and probably some drool on his chin. It felt like his entire body was humid. It felt like his entire body was liquid, boiling and evaporating in the room creating some sort of sauna.

He didn’t even think of augmenting the intensity of Chen’s vibrator. He had accepted defeat and wanted to make sure he would at least enjoy every last bit of it.

“Fuck, fuck!” The older man was surprised to hear the other’s voice, having forgotten for a split second that he wasn’t alone.

He opened his eyes to see his partner coming, his back arched and his expression tensed.

_I won. I fucking won._

His first celebratory action was to wrap a hand around his penis to come to his termination.

When he was done, he looked straight into the other man’s eyes.

“I won.”

 

 

 

 

“Wait, wait. Get off; my phone’s ringing.”

Xiumin went to fetch his cell phone. After a few seconds, he was back in the room.

“Everything is going well, thank you for lending us your house.”

“Luhan?” Chen whispered and Xiumin nodded.

“Ah…I don’t know if we will…Would you mind if we slept here? I feel like we still have some ‘getting to know each other’ to do…Yeah, thanks! See ya! Goodnight!”

“We can sleep here?” The younger man watched his friend climb back onto the bed.

“Mmh! Then we’ll have aaaall night.” He pecked the lying man’s collarbone.

“I think you overestimate my stamina, gē. What are you anyway? Are you in a rut? To be honest I thought _I_ would be the horniest one of the two.”

“I wasn’t saying we’d have to fuck all night, perv. Are you sure I’m the horniest?”

“I’m not the one leaving hickeys on the other’s body right now, just saying.”

“I’m not living hickeys; I’m just kissing your pecks because I like them.”

“Oh! You like my pecks?” Chen teased.

“Mmh.”

Xiumin gripped them one last time before pushing himself off.

“So? Had enough rest? Down to continue?”

Chen sighed jokingly. “Alright.” He sat up. “You lead, I’ll follow.”

“Okay! You can remain lying down though, with the cushions it’ll be more…Ah! Wait! No! Turn around.”

“Okay.” The younger man chuckled.

Again, the fluffy feeling on his wrist. _Aaaah. Obviously._

“It’s the handcuffs’ comeback I see.”

“Yep. Okay, now you can lie down.”

“You do know that me not being able to use my hands means that _you_ will have to make me hard again.”

“Sure. I don’t think that’s gonna be a problem.”

The older man was off the bed, walking towards the curtains.

“What are you looking for?”

“You’ll see.”

After a few seconds, he came out with a blindfold. Chen laughed. _For fuck’s sake. Really, what did I get myself into?_

“You really are something. It’s for you or for me?”

“For you.”

“Alright.”

The younger man let the other cover his eyes. _This surely is an experience._

He let his head sink in the cushion. He felt Xiumin move away, further from him. He could feel his knees on the side of his legs.

He felt the older man’s hands on his inner thighs. It tickled slightly. The left hand remained while the right one left. He wasn’t sure where it went. The remaining hand went up to his balls, gently feeling them, and then up to wrap around the rest of his manhood.

“Are you left-handed?” Chen asked.

“No, why?”

“People usually do handjobs with the hand they are more comfortable with.”

“Oh.”

“So…Are you jerking yourself with your right then?”

“…Not exactly.”

“What do you mean ‘not exactly’?”

“Why the questions? Are you nervous?”

“No, it’s just that I’m curious. I can’t see after all. Can’t you describe what you are doing?”

“Why should I do that?”

“Gēgeeeee!” The younger man wiggled.

Xiumin scoffed.

“I’m warming myself up again.”

The lying man took some time to analyse what his best friend had said.

“Wait. You wanna bottom?”

“Yeah? I like it.”

“Alright…Well, that’s good. I’m glad you like it.”

Chen wasn’t sure but he thought he heard the other laugh? He seemed to be happy.

_Oh, now he’s frustrated._

“What’s up?”

“This is hard.”

“…You talking about my penis or..? Why would that frustrate you-“

“No, doing two different things at the same time. It’s hard. My hands don’t want to do it.”

Chen laughed.

“Turn around, bring your ass closer. I’ll help you.”

“How? You can’t use your hands.”

“I might not be able to use my hands but I have a tongue; I might as well make some use of it.”

“You…Wanna lick my ass?”

“I want to eat it out, if that’s fine with you.”

Xiumin didn’t answer, he had stopped moving.

“You can say no, I won’t be offended…But if it’s just that you’re shy: there’s no need to be.”

“Wouldn’t it be weird?”

“Have you never done this to a woman before? To me there’s no difference.”

“Well yeah but-“

“Plus, in a way it’s weird for us to have sex no? But we do it and we enjoy it so, what’s wrong with it being weird?”

“Mmh.”

“Would you like trying?”

“…Yeah? Would you mind?”

“No, I don’t. It’ll be my pleasure to eat your ass.”

The older man laughed.

Chen felt the mattress dip on his sides, signs that his mate was walking towards him.

Once his best friend was comfortably positioned, it didn’t take long for him to start his worshipping.

At first, Xiumin had tried to jerk him off while he was being given attention but, rapidly, he wasn’t able to do so anymore.

Not like Chen minded. He was already fascinated and turned on enough as it was. Since the younger man couldn’t use his touch and his sight to understand the other’s reactions, he depended mostly on his hearing, his smell and his empathy. However, as the older man wasn’t making noises anymore – Chen wished he could hear him moan as he had done earlier once again – his attention was all on the information his two left senses sent him. Every time he breathed, the air had grown denser with his mate’s libido and it felt like a thousand rivers had rushed into his thorax or as if his organs had all suddenly bloomed into colors of pastel pink and beige. He felt both fluffy and heavy inside, and outside he felt pleasantly sweaty.

That lasted for a few long and appreciated minutes before the younger man pulled away.

“I think you’re good.”

The older man remained in the same position for a few seconds before turning around. Without a word, he grabbed his dìdi’s member, aligned it with his rim and slowly sunk down on it.

“Careful.”

“Mmh. I know.”

When it was all in, Xiumin waited. He took one of Chen’s nipples between his fingers and played with it. He leaned down to pay the other as much attention.

The younger man felt himself wiggle and heard himself emit small whines, lips still closed. His cock slid out of the other to be engulfed completely once again.

His gēge rested his hands flat on his chest. He guessed it was for support.

Once again, the older man lifted himself up to sit back down quickly after.

His hands formed fists on Chen chest. The latter could hear his shortness of breath and feel him quiver internally.

“You okay?” He asked knowingly.

“Mmh.” The man’s voice was weak.

“Do you want me to move?”

“Mmh.”

The first motion made him gasp and so did the other two.

At the fourth thrust, the gasp was louder, accompanied by a small surprised sound.

Chen was startled by the liquid that suddenly spread on his chest. As Xiumin’s muscles tightened around him and as his breathing became even more rapid, the younger man guessed he had climaxed.

“Did you…Come? From just anal stimulation?”

“I’m as shocked as you…I guess I’m just really sensible.”

The younger man laughed.

Xiumin got off of him and moved further away on the bed.

“What are you doing?”

“Don’t think I’m done with you.”

“Well I hope you aren’t ‘cause I’m kinda tied up here until you free me.”

“If you continue to mock me, I don’t think I’ll ever free you.”

“Ah, come on, I wasn’t mocking you; I thought the situation was funny.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Hey, there’s nothing to be ashamed of in coming early.”

Xiumin was back between his legs. He didn’t answer.

He lifted one of Chen’s legs and inserted a finger.

“Oh! That surprised me.”

Another. They easily came in and out with the lube the older man had coated them with.

After testing three fingers, the lying man felt something familiar enter him. He scoffed.

The older man moved above him, leaving the device where he had placed it and took a hold of his member once again, repeating the same actions as a few minutes before.

Once properly impaled, he turned on the vibrator, already setting it to a medium intensity.

The bound man moaned.

His gēge rode him confidently. He wasn’t the most skilled person in the field and Chen could feel it but it honestly didn’t matter.

He couldn’t be happier with the situation.

“Kiss me.”

The older man obeyed willingly.

It wasn’t long before the both of them came. Xiumin first, once again, and then Chen.

When their enthusiastic hearts calmed down, the older man took his dìdi’s blindfold off.

He was smiling his youthful gummy smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH IT'S BEEN SO LONG D: Yeah, sorry about that :S I'm glad to be back :) I don't remember how to write an author's note anymore....Hum...Yeah! So Xiuchen is a versatile and kinky af pair in this story because why not. #taking friendship to another level. They are like sexfriends...But actual friends you know? Or these best friends that just end up together...Is it romantic, is it not..? To be honest, I don't know. The characters wouldn't describe it as romantic for all I know. 
> 
> Anyway, for the next chapter I have kind of a warning that is not a scary warning just a be mentally prepared warning cause there's gonna be a few months jump in time so like, yeah. That. (that's only what this warning is about) 
> 
> Ah. I should add, it's gonna last real chapter of this story and I look forward to writing it :) 
> 
> See ya when I find time x) 


	38. Of New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the author's note at the end of the chapter. 
> 
> WARNING: Trigger warning for mention of suicide, for mention of/impled violence, for implied dissociation, for mention of sexual assault and for mention of/implied murder. 

_Friday February 17 th 2012  _

“Make yourself at home.”

“Oki!”

Luhan closed the door to his apartment behind him and watched as Baekhyun took his shoes off.

“You can go sit down. Do you want anything to drink?” The house’s owner asked.

“Ah, no, I’m good.” The other man smiled.

“Alright.”

He went to get himself a glass of water while the younger man went to sit down on his couch.

He took a sip.

“What did you want to talk about?” Baekhyun wondered.

The older man calmly put his glass back on his counter.

“I don’t want to lie to you or to keep anything from you, so I’ll speak very straightforwardly.”

“Okay..?” the Korean frowned slightly.

“I’m not here to talk about something that concerns me. I’m sorry I told you so. I asked you to come because Chen asked me to speak with you about your relationship with Chanyeol.”

“What?”

“You…You don’t realize that Chanyeol is your mate, do you?”

It felt as if he had just slapped his dìdi. _He needs to know. He needs to move forward._

“I’ll stop you right there. I know you want me to move on and believe I can’t if I still think about Jung Ho but…I know you want me to be happy so I’ll tell you: I’m happy. And I’m not lying. I love Chanyeol. He makes me happy. But he is _not_ my mate, don’t…Just don’t.”

“I wouldn’t have said those words if I only wanted you to be happy. I know they are hard for you to hear, Baekhyun, but you need to know. I want you to know so that you can move on from _there_.”

“Stop.”

“No, Baekhyun, listen to me. Chanyeol _is_ your mate. I saw it…Honestly, I-I thought you had come to realize but when Chen came to talk to me I also realized that you were just…denying it. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but it’s the truth.”

“Chanyeol is not my mate, hyung. Jung Ho was. He told me I was his mate the same day he told me he was a shape-shifter. Trust me, I remember.”

“He told you you were _his_ mate. You never got proof he was yours.”

“Don’t say that.”

Luhan took a moment. _No, I need to continue._

“I don’t think he was,” he added.

“And how could you know that, huh?”

“When you told me about your story, when you told me he died: you never told me you _felt_ him die. You only knew he was dead when you were told later on, didn’t you? From having experienced it, I know it’s something that would have haunted and that would still haunt you. You would have felt it even if he was away from you.”

“Well, maybe I was simply suffering too much to start with to even notice that I was suffering more than usual.”

Baekhyun was looking at him. He wasn’t crying but Luhan could sense he wanted to. _Believe me, I also wish I wasn’t doing this._

The older man sighed.

He walked next to his friend on the couch. He put a hand on his back. The other man moved away. The deer took a deep breath.

“I think it’s possible to have two mates. Maybe Jung Ho indeed was your mate. He most likely was speaking the truth when he told you you were his; I’m not saying he lied to you.”

“It wouldn’t be surprising anyway; he lied about so many things.”

Luhan chose not to comment.

“Why do you seem to be able to believe in the possibility that you are Chanyeol’s mate but that he isn’t yours but not the same for Jung Ho?”

“Are you seriously asking me that question?”

“Not really for myself…I was hoping it would help you realize by yourself.”

“Luhan, stop that.” Baekhyun was mad. He looked down to the floor. “I am happy with Chanyeol just-“

“You _want_ him to be your mate and I’m pretty sure you _know_ he is but you don’t want to come to that conclusion because you would feel bad for Jung Ho.” With spite in his eyes, Baekhyun locked eyes with him once again. “And I understand that. I truly do. But it’s not healthy, you haven’t been acting healthily and we both know it…Or at least you could be healthier and you don’t let yourself be.”

With only the short warning of a shaking chin, Baekhyun started sobbing. Luhan was quick to hug him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he whispered calmly.

He sighed. _I suck at this._

“I miss him so much,” Baekhyun wept.

Luhan rocked their bodies back and forth. “I know. It’s alright.”

“I’m horrible.”

“Shh. That’s not true. That’s not true.”

“Is it really? I’ve only been doing harm to the people I love. Jung Ho, Chanyeol, you guys…I hurt you. I make you worry. I shouldn’t be bothering you with the bad things that are happening in _my_ life.”

“No, dìdi, you haven’t been harming us. We worry about you because you are our friend and we want you to be happy. You’re not forcing us to worry. You’re not forcing us to do anything; we decide on our own that we want to help you to be happier. “

“I don’t want to be happy. I don’t deserve it.”

“No, you deserve it. As much as everyone else. As much as I do, as much as Chanyeol does, as much as…Lay does. Be happy, Baekhyun. We want you to be happy.”

He sobbed on Luhan’s shoulder for a few more minutes before he started breathing normally again.

He scoffed and distanced himself from the older man.  

“I’m sorry I probably got some eh…Kotmul…” He signed something falling out of his nose.

“Ah, yeah, eh…Ah, I don’t remember how it’s called in English…Eh…The only thing I got is ‘nose water’ but I’m pretty sure there’s an actual word for it.”

“Funny that’s basically how you could translate it from Korean.”

“Really? I was thinking in Japanese.”

They giggled.

“Anyway, _that_ on your shirt.”

“It’s fine.”

Silence. Luhan waited for Baekhyun to acknowledge his feelings and sort them out. A comforting hand remained on his back. 

“With Jung Ho…I always feel like I betrayed him? Or that I…That I wasn’t a good boyfriend to him. And…” He sighed. “Well, you know. I told you already.” He snickered. “I…I feel like things wouldn’t have ended up that way if I had been better to him. And so…Yeah, you’re probably right. I would feel bad for him if, in the end…”

Tears pearled out of his eyes once again. He wiped them.

“I don’t want to think that I wasn’t able to reciprocate the feelings he had for me and that he died…Like that. I don’t want to believe he died never having someone to reciprocate his feelings.”

“But you still gave him love.”

“But it wasn’t _enough_. He died because I couldn’t do _enough._ ”

“It wasn’t your responsibility to do so.”

“I was his boyfriend.”

“That didn’t make you responsible for him. You did what you could. You could have never done more. You did what was in your power to do. You couldn’t have made yourself be his mate; it doesn’t work like that.”

Baekhyun sighed.

“I wish it did.”

Luhan smiled sadly. “I know.”

“Do you think…There’s a chance he realized?”

“I don’t think so.”

The younger man nodded.

 He found refuge the other’s embrace once again.

 

 

 

 

_Monday April 23 rd 2012_

Chen, Xiumin, Lay and D.O all entered the hangar one after the other, all staring at the last one who kept his eyes on something outside before closing the door.

“What’s up?” Kris asked.

The others were all sitting around the couches, having just come back from work or school. Luhan was over to spend the night since he wasn’t working that night.

He would alternate between living at his apartment and living with the pack and Sehun would also follow that lifestyle although most of the time he stayed at the pack’s home. It could get quite troublesome, never really sure of where they would be and when and having to prepare in advance for the food they would eat and the clothes they would want to wear – they had started to leave clothes in both houses so that they always had a change of clothes wherever they decided to stay. Their whereabouts were also kind of hard to follow for the rest of the pack but they made it work out.

Luhan had started to consider fully moving in with the pack - the distance from his job wasn’t that different, he wouldn’t have to pay for the bills of his apartment anymore and it would be more practical for Sehun and him - but he was still greatly reluctant since he liked having a place of his own. Furthermore, after having discussed it with his partner, he had decided to keep on doing sex work and he liked doing so better at home so that was also a reason why he wanted to keep his apartment.

“This guy was following us,” D.O answered. 

“What?”

“Yeah. We’re pretty sure he followed us from the school to here,” he continued.

“We’re also pretty sure he knows we saw him,” Chen added, “but he didn’t seem to mind.”

“That’s weird,” Suho commented.

“Yeah. Kind of scary too,” the Chinese member answered.

“Did you see his face? Do you know him?” Baekhyun inquired, arms around his mate’s body.

“No idea who he was.”

“What did he look like?”

“Didn’t really see what he looked like. I only remember that his height is average and that he’s kinda fit, I think.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t really help.”

“He seemed to be alone, we didn’t sense anyone else.”

“I’ll go check if he’s still there,” Kris said. 

“Okay.”

 He flew to the trap door on the hangar’s ceiling.

The others went to sit down.

“Other than that: it went well at the school today?” Suho asked.

His question was never answered, Kris quickly coming back.

“He’s still there and he’s taking pictures of the facade.”

“What?”

“Did you see what he looked like?”

“He has short hair, fair skin, a large nose and small eyes.”

“That could be many people.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think…It might be that they traced us?” Sehun suggested.

“’They’? ‘They’ who?” They were a few to not understand who he was referring to.

“The yakuza you mean?” Kai clarified.

“Yeah.”

“Why now? We haven’t heard from them since…After Christmas they stopped bothering you, didn’t they?” Suho asserted.

“Did something happen that we don’t know of?” Chanyeol wondered.

“Oh, no,” Sehun answered, “it’s just, I thought, maybe…”

“Yeah, it’s a possibility.” Luhan seemed thoughtful.

For a moment, they all wore serious faces.

“Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Suho spoke, ”There are many weird people in this city. There isn’t only the yakuza to follow people around. I’ll check with the girls, maybe a parent that fits this description was unsatisfied of our way of teaching or something and they wanted our address to come rant or simply come leave a bag of shit at our doorstep. There are many possibilities. But, in any case, you two don’t have to worry, okay? We’re here to protect you.”

 

 

 

 

_Wednesday May 2 nd 2012_

Kai sighed.

“Is it that bad?” D.O laughed.

“I’ve already learned all these things.”

“Do you remember them?”

“…No…”

“Then that’s why you need to learn them again.”

The younger man leaned over his books once again.

“But it’s not like I’ll ever need to know exactly what the names of the two bones in my forearm are. Sure, it’s good to know that there are two bones there or to know how the spine is but…Really why should I know what the shoukotsu is…”

“What is it?”

“The heel bone.”

“Ah.”

“Ugh.”

Kai rested his head on his books. From the corner of his eyes, he saw D.O put the plate of strawberries he had been trimming next to him.

“Here.”

“Thank you.”

The older man sat next to him at the counter and the younger straightened up. He took one and returned to his books.

“She’s basically giving us this test because she’s new and doesn’t know we learned these last year. Plus, we’ve studied this in high school I really don’t get it...I’m probably just tired…Sorry.”

“I don’t mind.”

He sighed again. “And you know what’s the worst? Sehun betrayed me. He said we would study for this test _together_ but he decided to go at Luhan’s place tonight.”

“’Betrayed’ is a bit harsh, don’t you think?”

“Yeah…I still love him. I’m just a bit butt hurt but it’s not too bad. Like I said: I’m tired.”

 D.O took a strawberry.

 Kai watched his boyfriend, head resting on his hand.

“You look charming.”

A wide smile immediately spread on the other man’s lips. He finished eating his strawberry before speaking:

“You too.”

“Shut up,” Kai laughed, “I haven’t showered in three days.”

“Yeah, you should probably take a shower. I do still find you handsome though.”

“Thank you.” _I love you. I’m so lucky to have you by my side._

D.O saw his mate’s expression pass from happy to extremely sad in only a split second. He unexpectedly started crying, hiding his face in his hands above his books.

“Are you okay?” The older man worried, standing up. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He hugged the younger man who didn’t hesitate to bury his face into his shirt.

“I just luv you a loot,” he could understand from the mumbled lament.

D.O couldn’t help but giggle a little. “That’s alright; I love you a lot too. You don’t have to cry. I’m not going anywhere; I’m staying by your side.”

“I knooooow. But…I just…I just feel like crying…” He sniffed. “Because I am happy to have you as my boyfriend.”

“Alright, alright. You can cry. I’ll stay here.”

Kai’s weeping resumed and his hyung’s arms remained around his body as he had promised. He patted his hair softly and chuckled to himself.

“My god, are you in heat or what?” The question had been uttered innocently and it lacked any serious. However, as he had heard himself speak these words, D.O suddenly became thoughtful.

He sniffed the other.

“Wait. Are you in heat?” This time he was serious.

“What?”

“I don’t know…You smell stronger than usual and you just suddenly started being emotional...”

Kai wiped his eyes, still hiccupping.

“But aren’t heats only for people with eh…female animals?”

“Well, yeah…Supposedly…I’ll call Victoria.”

 

 

 

 

“Yep, he’s in heat.” Victoria declared confidently. 

Shock and confusion could be read on the pack’s numerous faces as they were gathered in the hangar.

“Is his wolf still male?” Suho asked.

“Yep.”

“But he has heats.” Chen stated, trying to make sure he was following.

“Yep, well, he’s in heat _right now_. I don’t know, it might change.”

“I don’t understand anything anymore,” Kai mumbled. 

Victoria couldn’t help but laugh.

“Was he the one that was like half-female? That could explain why-“

“No, that was Sehun,” Chanyeol cut.

“Oh.”

“And Sehun wasn’t ‘half-female’,” the bird leader deemed important to precise,” I said he was ‘leaning on the female side’ it’s not the same thing although, yes, he could maybe have heats. Also, even if Sehun had both sexes, he wouldn’t be ‘half-female’, ‘half-male’. He would be both female and male. Fully. Just so you know.”

“Okay but then…Why is he in heat if he’s not female or leading on the female side?” Baekhyun voiced.

“Dunno,” the woman shrugged. 

Silence.

“No…clue?” Suho wondered.

“I don’t think it’s a problem that needs to be solved so why should I find an explanation to it?”

“Oh no, no, of course it’s not a problem. I’m just being curious cause I…I just never heard that it could happen,” Suho corrected himself.  

“I would also be curious to know why I’m in heat to be honest,” Kai added, raising his finger shyly.

“…Okay.”

“So…Do you have any hypothesis?”

“Not really like I said…It’s nature I mean…Eh…Usually changes happen to adapt to stuff so…Your wolf probably…changed to adapt..? I don’t know. Do you have some food? I didn’t eat supper yet.”

“Yeah, I’ll go get you some.” Lay stood up.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I’m sorry guys. I’ll be able to be of more help when I have some food in the stomach.”

“That’s alright. Thank you for your help as always, noona,” Suho spoke.

She smiled.

“…You said that his wolf might have chosen to have heats to…adapt, right?” D.O spoke up, he seemed hesitant.

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Then…” He took a deep breath and looked over at his boyfriend. The latter didn’t seem to know what he was going to say. “Is it possible that that might eh…That it might have been because I…”

Kai felt Baekhyun’s eyes on him, they felt menacing.

“Said I didn’t want to have sex?” D.O finished.

The room was silent once again.

Victoria and Tao’s glares also landed on Kai.

“What are you saying D.O, you totally have the right to refuse to have sex,” Suho answered.

“Do you think that it’s your fault?” Kris voiced. “Because it’s not. No one is to _blame_ for Kai having heats.”

“Yeah, I know that. I’m not saying I’m at fault, I’m saying that maybe I’m the _reason_ behind his wolf having heats.”

“I hope you don’t think that needs to be changed,” Kai added, ignoring the stares, “I’m totally find with having heats.”

“Okay.”

They all saw the awkward smile on D.O’s lips even as he lowered his head and they also saw how his mate wanted to close the distance between them but hesitated to do so. So they remained one leaning on the wall beside one of the couches and the other sitting on the arm rest of the facing couch.

There was silence once again.

“Wait, D.O. Did you just…Make a coming out?” Chen was the first one to speak, questioning both what the Korean man had meant and if the term applied in this situation.

“What about coming outs?” Lay came back with food for Victoria who gladly accepted it.

No one answered him. Understanding, he sat down without a word.

“I’m not sure myself but I think so, yeah.”

D.O saw Lay’s confused expression and decided he was fine with clarifying: “I said that I didn’t want to have sex.”

“…How is that a coming out, I also-“

“As in never,” Suho added.

“…Oooooooooh.”

The doe-eyed man couldn’t help but smile a little. They didn’t seem to be taking it wrong.

“…And how did we come from..?” He didn’t finish his sentence. These words were enough to make understand that he was confused.

“He expressed the possibility that Kai’s wolf might have chosen to have heats to adapt to not being able to have sex,” Victoria explained, “it would make sense. His wolf probably thought it would be easier on him. But hey, there are many possibilities. We’ll most likely never know.”

“True,” Kai agreed.

“In the meantime, D.O, know that we accept you as you are,” Chen declared.

“Yep,” Xiumin seconded.

The center of attention felt fluffy inside.

He shared a smile with his mate, the other happy for him to see that he could be easily accepted by others.

 

 

 

        

  _Saturday May 26 th 2012 _

_Knock knock._

“Did you hear that?”

“Yeah”

_Knock knock._

“Did you invite the girls to come over?”

The others all signed “no”.

“Alright…” The Korean leader stood up. “What a time to knock at someone’s door on a _Saturday._ It’s not even ten o’clock yet.”

Suho opened the door, yawning as he did so. He frowned when he saw the faces on the door step. New faces. _What kind of religion are they promoting?  _

“Good morning,” a good-looking, muscular man in a clean-cut suit greeted him in Japanese. The person next to him was a bit taller and of similar physique. His face was average, Suho thought.

“Good morning..? How can I help you?”

“I’m glad you asked. Can we come in?”

The question seemed to be only for courtesy as the man didn’t wait for an answer before stepping foot inside the hangar, his friend following him.

The members present at that moment all straightened up in their seats, suddenly fully awake. Who were these men? What were they doing inviting themselves in their home?

As the smaller man closed the door behind his partner, Suho noticed a black car parked outside their house and two more men in suits. _Well, that doesn’t look fishy at all._

“How can we help you?” The Korean leader asked once again, preferring to stay diplomatic.

“We wish to talk, simply.” The good-looking man smiled. In his wolf form, Suho would have growled. “Maybe we can start by shaking hands?”

He extended his hand and the leader shook it. When his friend imitated him, he repeated the action.

He stopped at the contact of their skin. _Oh._

The stranger turned to the smaller member of their duo. He nodded, keeping a straight face.

“So our information gatherers were right, you guys _are_ shape-shifters.”

Suho pulled his hand away silently. _This can’t be good._

The man was smiling again. He breathed in announcing the start of a new sentence that never came. He looked behind the wolf.

The latter automatically turned to see what had caught his eye, worried. His eyes landed on Luhan in the stair case. The Chinese man went down another step wary yet somewhat confident. Part of his concentration seemed to be focused on something behind him.

“Hi, Lu. I don’t think you can understand how happy I am to see you here.”

“Certainly not.”

Kris passed by him in the stairs, entering the hangar. He walked towards his fellow leader before being stopped by the latter.

“Did you have business to discuss with me?” Luhan interrogated. “If so we could have scheduled a meeting at the-“

“Ah, but I like it here.” It seemed as if the intruder was trying to compliment their home to appeal to them or at least that’s how the members had interpreted it. “Plus, it’s not only with you that I needed to discuss business. Actually: are your other members here? I believe there are twelve of you? Or maybe that changed since the last time I checked? So many people after all, I would understand if the bonds with some people were more… _fragile._ ”

Suho took a deep breath, trying not to let himself become angry. _He’s only saying that to make you doubt, Suho. It’s not true._

“I think it would be in their best interest to come here with us as they are also concerned by what I want to discuss.”

“What if we don’t want to listen?” Luhan challenged.  

The stranger gave him a pitying look, as if he were laughing at the innocence of a child. “I think you already know the answer, Lu.”

Said man clenched his jaw.

“Can you tell the others to come? I have other things to do today; I’d like to get this over with the quicker possible.”

Suho felt the urge to reply something but the man in front of him stopped him before he could:

“Ah! There they are! Were you all hiding and waiting to be called to come in?”

No one replied.

The intruder didn’t keep his expression from showing that he was judging them.

“Okay well, let’s start, shall we? I’ve already met Lu a few times but as the rest of you don’t know me: I’m Seungri; I’m in charge of this area on behalf of the Sumiyoshi-kai group. I’m sure you’ve heard of us.” Smile. “Now, I don’t want you to worry, I’m not here for the money your two youngest members owe us. Did I get that right? They are your two youngest members right? Kai and Se Yoon, right?”

“Sehun.”

Everyone looked at him. _Why did you speak?_

“What did you say?”

“It’s ‘Sehun’ not ‘Se Yoon’.”

“Ah! Thank you. And I’m guessing that’s you, right? You do look young. And very handsome too! You can be proud.”

Sehun forced a smile.

“Thankfully, I have all your information here to prevent me from doing any more stupid mistakes, I apologize.”

While he unfolded his document, the silence persisted. Nobody seemed to believe the situation to be true. It all just seemed like a joke. That man seemed like a joke. His shape-shifter friend standing awkwardly next to him refusing to do any eye contact or to make any sound seemed like a joke. _It seems like a scene from a movie._

“So! Sehun…Born the 12th of April 1994, you’re the group’s baby! I was also the baby of my group of friend, I get you. And Kai, the second youngest, born on January 14th 1994\. So far the information is right, right? So, I was saying: I’m not here for the money these two owe us. No…We thought about it and decided it would be fair to just…forget about that debt! Throw it in the garbage as an apology for beating and shooting you. Just so you know: these guys have been dealt with. It was low of them to have done what they have done. But in the end that wasn’t too much of a problem for you, was it? Thanks to our prodigious Lu!” He laughed. “Aaaah, truly. I hope you know how lucky you are, I wish I also had the power to stop bullets. But hey, I have bulletproof vests, bodyguards and this sweet guy here who…” He stopped himself. “Ah. No. I won’t say that just now. I’ll leave his power as a surprise in case you feel like trying to play funny. I would be surprised though, you seem like a pretty dull bunch of fellows. Personality-wise I mean; you’re all very handsome of course. As expected of Lu’s friends.”

“Get to the point, Seungri,” came the host’s voice.

The yakuza pouted. “You’re no fun. But you’re right. To get to the serious stuff: I’m here to make a proposal…See usually here people would go ‘what proposal?` but I guess this discussion is destined to be one sided, huh?” He sighed. “The Sumiyoshi-kai wishes for you to accept their protection.”

Luhan laughed.

“I don’t know why that doesn’t sound genuine,” Suho hissed.

“Oh, it is genuine,” Seungri assured. 

“But not without a price.” Luhan knew all about that. _It’s just like a scene from a movie._

“Indeed. Not without a price.”

“And we aren’t able to decline,” the Chinese man fumed.

“No, indeed.”

“This is bullshit,” the deer mumbled. When the intruder’s attention was back on their Korean leader, Lay put an arm around Luhan’s waist and the latter did his best to calm down.      

“What’s the rest of the proposal?” Suho asked.

“It’s simple: when we ask for a favour, you do it. We feel like we could want more shape-shifters like you guys in our ranks.”

“What kind of favors?”

“Of all kinds.”

“Can you be more precise?”

“Nah. Obviously we wouldn’t make you do anything of the domain of more experimented people like myself but will rather ask of you to do small jobs for us once in a while. Maybe bodyguard jobs like there are at Hotaru’s club. Dunno.” He shrugged cheerfully.

As his eyes looked around to the rest of the pack as an entertainer would look at his public, they landed on a particular someone.

“Ah, Tao! I had seen on the papers but: know that I’m happy you survived. I wanted to tell you. Too bad your mother can’t live to see you growing up, getting yourself a boyfriend and an accepting family and all. I’m sure she would have been happy. My deepest condolences.” Surely the man wasn’t sincere.

The pack all felt the youngest Chinese member experience all sorts of feelings in such a short time. Confusion, anger, sorrow, grief, fury, happiness.

“Wait…You didn’t know? Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you would have known by now, your father being a celebrity in the financial papers and all thanks to his sob story of facing discrimination, losing both his wife and son in the same year and still finding the strength to try and keep his business from going bankrupt…Not like it didn’t in the end it, but, hey! His efforts deserve some praise, don’t they? It’s all quite tragic. Ah and your mother too! She deserves praise too! After all she’s done to try and get you out of trouble, to try and get you to start anew. It’s really a shame that the competing company had to put a higher price on your head. I wish her last will had been respected. However, I know that I can’t blame myself; we were just doing our job after all, choosing the best option.” His serenity troubled them all, disgusted them even. “Worry not, we didn’t tell her anything about how you got beaten up and left for dead. I’m sure she thought you were now comfortably installed in Canada like she had wanted you to be when she took her life away.”

“You fucking –“ Tao’s rage was interrupted in the middle of his swearing by none other than himself or so it seemed for the rest of the pack that felt him suddenly become apathetic. It was as if he had simply decided to stop being angry, that the things that had made him angry didn’t matter anymore. Actually, that _nothing_ mattered anymore.

“Ah. There it is. You tried playing funny. “

Suho heard the whimpering of the man next to Seungri. He was shaking. He turned back to Tao. It felt like they had _switched emotions?_ But it was really just the emotions, not as if they had switched personalities or something like that. Tao was still in his body. He was simply emotionless although still living emotions? The way the pack felt it, Tao was conscious of his state of mind and it troubled him, he seemed to be panicking but really deep inside.

The boy looked to his mate who didn’t think before hurrying to his side. Kris didn’t have to ask his fellow leader for him to understand that he needed to do something.

“Stop that. Stop what you’re doing to him.”

“Don’t worry, he’ll reverse it again when we’re done but, for now, it’s what’s best for him, don’t you think?”

“No, it’s not. Let him live his feelings. I promise we will stop him if he tries to attack you.”

The yakuza man raised an eyebrow. He breathed in. “Yeah, ok.” He turned to the person they had assumed was his underling. “You can stop it now.”

As soon as that had been said, the man relaxed, his emotionless expression once again on his face while, in his back, Suho heard Tao sob.

“Don’t go yet, I’m not done.”

“I’m sure Tao doesn’t need to be there anymore, you’ve tortured him enough as it is now,” Suho debated.

“But I _want_ him to him to be there,” Seungri stressed, “I want him, you and all the other members of this pack to understand how problematic you are and how grateful you should be to us by now to have found ways to not bring you too much shit starting from the very second day you arrived to Japan from Korea. Literally.” He scoffed. “When we dug up some info on you guys we found out that on January twentieth of 2010 someone called us all the way from South Korea offering money for…” He looked the pack members one after the other and when his eyes landed on Baekhyun he pointed him and continued speaking: “This kid’s head. I think. You’re Baekhyun, right? Apparently you were the mate of someone they were really angry at or something like that I didn’t really understand. Good news for you though: that dude died like the day after and we just dropped your case. Some people say he killed himself but I got word that it hadn’t been going too well in his pack, am I wrong? My guess is that someone _wanted_ him dead and _got_ him dead. You really have a joyful entourage, don’t you? Do you even have friends that are _actually_ going well?”

Suho was close enough to see a smirk form on his lips before he pronounced the answer to his own question.

“Ah, but, I know! These...” He counted on his fingers. “Five women you own the music school with!”

The Korean leader paled and apparently the yakuza saw.

“Are they…Perhaps…Shape-shifters like you?”

“We have heard your proposal,” Suho snapped. He felt the eyes of the entire pack lend on him. “We don’t have any choice but to accept, right? Fine. We accept. Do you have something to make us sign?”

“So, the girls, huh? I’ll keep that in mind. “

“Where do we sign?” Suho stressed every word.

“Oh yes! Sorry, sorry.” He searched through his documents. “Here, twelve contracts.” He gave them, as well as some small pencils, to the Korean leader who went to pass them around making sure to look each of his members in the eye to let them know that he was guilt-ridden. “They all say the same thing: you are now under the protection of the Sumiyoshi-kai. You are bound to accept to do us favors once in a while or suffer the sanctions if said favors weren’t to be done as requested. I hope you understand that this contract can’t be discussed or dismissed by any member of the court. You can always demand the toning down of certain things but it’s not promised that there will be changes made. But you can try. Just like you _could_ try to sue the entire group but…” He laughed. “Good look with that; I have faith in our lawyers.”    

After the documents were signed, Suho went to place them in the yakuza’s hands. He looked serious.

“Thank you and sorry for everything,” he spoke calmly and Suho thought that for once he seemed sincere. _I appreciate the apology but I won’t forgive you. If it’s so easy for you to realise now that what you have done was atrocious without me even having to tell you about it then you could have realised sooner and not put a dagger into each of my member’s hearts and my own._

He bowed and walked towards the hangar’s door.

Before going he turned around one last time.

“Welcome to the family.”

 

 

 

 

As soon as he was gone, Tao ran up the stairs and found refuge somewhere inside the Chinese’s dorm. Kris had followed him.

They had heard the clacking of a door and after that everyone remained silent for a good ten minutes, or twenty or maybe half an hour. They didn’t know. All they knew was that they had spent a long time in silence.

The Korean leader was the first one to speak:

“Guys, I’m-“

“You don’t have to apologize, Suho,” Xiumin cut him, “we know. We understand.”

Another silence, shorter this time.

“Do you think we should tell the girls,” came once again the leader’s voice, “tell them to be careful?”

“They already are careful,” Chen scoffed, “they’re not the ones in this situation: we are.”

“But maybe…Since now they can use them as our-“

“Don’t worry about them Suho, they won’t hurt them. Seungri’s an ass but he’s not _that much_ of an ass. He basically pulled on that show just so that we felt scared and vulnerable.”

“But he could do the same thing to the girls I don’t understand your-“

“He wouldn’t have the heart to do it. Sometimes I question if he doesn’t believe he’s some kind of knight in shining armour. I tell you, doing business with Hotaru-san is always super hard for him cause, one, Hotaru-san is…Hotaru-san and, two, she is a woman and he doesn’t let himself use his usual tricks on women. She’s told me things…” He laughed to himself to gain back his serious the moment after. “Yeah, I’m sorry guys they probably decided to pay more particular attention to the pack because of me. I wish I didn’t bring you in this part of the world.” He punctuated his sentence with an apologetic smile.

“Nobody is at fault for what is happening,” Chen objected, “at least, not anyone of us. We’re not at fault, _they_ are _. They_ are the ones that decided that they would profit from our problems and that they would bring us even more problems. Someone…A normal person wouldn’t have done what they have done. I take the old lady that always comes to the café as an example: she would never have done what they just did. She would have helped us without asking anything in return…Okay maybe she would have asked like one or two free meals if she had actually helped us big time but we know the yakuza are not gonna ask us to serve them tea and chocolate bread. They’re the only wrong people in this story. It’s not our fault we’re unlucky and brought them shit. If they didn’t wish to have clients that ask for our heads they should have chosen another line of business in the first place. It’s not our fault.”

“And there’s not one member of this pack that deserved this,” Xiumin added, “am I clear? We’re all gonna be there for each other and everything will be fine.” 

 

 

 

 

Tao shut the door of the bathroom close behind him. He collapsed before the bath, his body convulsing in uncontrollable wails.

Kris came in, as calm as was possible for him to be in that situation. He kneeled in front of his mate, waiting as his heart broke a bit more with every sound that escaped the younger man’s throat.

His sobbing had lessened a bit when he looked up to his boyfriend, head low, eyes blood-shot and drowned in tears.

“I thought she hated me!” He whimpered. “I thought she was ashamed of me and wanted me dead. And I spent the last what five months? Six? Just _loathing her._ Because I was certain she had just wanted to get rid of me but she…”

The wails resumed.

“Come here,” Kris pulled him into his embrace and Tao just let himself fall on his chest, resting his head in the crook of his neck. The scent he once feared now a reminder that he was safe.

It had took him a long time to be able to trust the other man again after what he had done to him but at that moment, he felt he could be vulnerable and not have to worry.

It had been a long journey between the two, the younger man always relapsing into doubt and restlessness. When Kris had had another rut, Tao had refused to sleep with him at night, wish the older man had respected. He had refused to engage in sexual intercourses with him at first but after a change of mind forced by no other than his own libido increasing, he had consented to do it with him only under the condition that the older man had his arms tied in his back. Suho had commented that that might have been a bit intense but had quickly been opposed by Baekhyun who defended Tao’s condition assuring that “if there [was] a way to let [the latter] have sex with a clear mind, he should take it.” He continued saying that “[people] have sex to have a good time; if [they’re] constantly scared that the other person’s going to hurt [them] without [their] consent, [they’re] not having a good time.”  

The Korean leader had apologized and agreed that there was truth in Baekhyun’s statements.

At that moment, after so much self-work on both sides, Tao was now able to let himself rest in his partner’s embrace, his guard fully down. He didn’t feel like he would have had the strength to have kept it up anyway.

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Ha, bet you thought this was gonna be happy. So here we are. At the end of this journey. I cried like three times writing this/posting this? This is...Fwa. (that`s the only thing I could come up with. You'd think I would be good with words by now but, no, it's all lies, I suck with words. Onomatopeias are way better to express feelings.)
> 
> OKAY BUT TO REASSURE A BUNCH OF YOU: This is the bad ending that will lead to the sequel but since I don't know if I'll ever be able to write it (although I wish) I will be posting a good ending too (it's also if like you don't feel like reading the sequel which would be perfectly understandeable cause it's gonna be multi-chaptered and it's gonna be multifandom and stuff and exo is not really there in the beginning although they will become important later on, so I would understand if didn`t want to read the sequel). Also, some things in the good ending are technically also in there future even in the bad ending universe, I'll precise those in the notes of the good ending. 
> 
> There will also be some bonus chapters because...There are things I cut in this story (#smut moments) because it would have been too fucking long and I wanted progression x) So look forward to those and maybe some fluff. 
> 
> That`s what I wanted you to read. Thank you :) 
> 
> Okay now, regarding what actually went on in this chapter, I won't say much so if you have questions ask them but there was thiis story I wanted to tell: So for the Kaisoo moment, I hadn't actually planned anything (like I had planned that they would have a moment but didn't plan plan what would be happening. I just knew the big lines and basically at some point I went blank and didn't know what to do so I was looking at Kaisoo stuff on tumblr and pinterest and all of a sudden I just went: "it would be funny if Kai just randomly started crying" and then went "OUI OUI OMG OUI" as a good French person would have said (French is my first language btw). So that is the story of how I decided he would poof sob. 
> 
> Also, yes, Seungri is Bigbang's Seungri and Luhan is done as fuck with him. 
> 
>  On another note, I shall promote my social media because I'm an attention whore (I'm not kidding that much but I'm still kidding. I like having attention once in a while like every other person and I want to be honest about it (be honest about your feelings) but I also want to come to know you guys so feel free to message me if you follow me so I know you are a reader :) ). So here I go: Tumblr: http://sakuraskeletonkin.tumblr.com/ and https://photograki.tumblr.com/ (my photography blog). Insta: @sakuraskeletonkin :) 
> 
> Thank you all for staying with me all this time, I love you and care for you <3 <3 <3 
> 
> Happy Pride Month :) 
> 
> PS: KRIS' TIAN DI IS GR8 


	39. Good Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Trigger warning for mention of violence, mention of homophobia, slight misogyny, mention of panic attack and mention of attachment issues.    

_Tuesday April 24 th 2012_

_“Hotaru speaking.”_

“Hi, Hotaru-san? It’s Lu.”

_“Hey! What’s up?”_

“Could I come speak with you about something?”

_“…Yeah, sure. I’m at the club. I’m doing some stuff but I’ll still be able to listen to you.”_

“You sure I won’t bother you?”

_“Nah, it’s fine.”_

“Okay, I’ll be there in a bit then.”

_“Sure, take your time.”_

 

 

 

 

“Hey, Lu! Whatchu doing here? I thought you weren’t coming in today,” Bling Bling stated, the eyes of the two other people in the room also on him.

“I needed to talk with Hotaru-san about something.”

“Aaaaah!”

“What do you need to talk to her about?” The new guy stated. Luhan didn’t really remember his name. He remembered that he had only just became one of the clubs’ well-known hosts like he himself was, that his physique reminded him of Sehun’s and that his energy was really manly-like. He looked… _definitely straight._

_Ugh, I spend too much time with gay people._

“I’ll tell you after. She’s waiting for me.” Not true but the question seemed too trivial for the man for Luhan to want to give a made-up explanation. _He’ll just forget he asked._

The deer shape-shifter walked to the basement where Hotaru-san’s office was. He opened the door only to close it again after noticing what was on her desk.

He yelped. “Oh my god!”

“My god. If you’re gonna be this rude I’ll just send you back home.”

“You scared me! I thought that was a _real_ leg on your desk!”

“Well, excuse you: this _is_ a _real_ leg. It’s _my_ leg.”

He sighed, a hand still on his heart. “You get what I mean.”

“What did you think? That I was dissecting a leg of flesh and bones? I’m an administrator, not a doctor - although I’m sure my parents would have liked that.”

“I wouldn’t have been surprised to see you cutting the flesh of a random human being open.”

“Nah. Not in the club.”

He giggled not too sure if she was being honest but still pretty certain she wasn’t. “You’re joking, right?”

She simply stared at him seriously. Her eyes went back to her papers.

His smiled faded away.

“What did you come here for?” Her voice was back to being somewhat cheerful but her gaze was jumping from her computer to the papers on her desk.

“Ah- Hum…I came to ask for a favor.”

She raised an eyebrow, momentarily looking at him. “I’m listening.”

“Sehun and Kai-“

“Sehun’s your boyfriend, right?”

“…I prefer using ‘partner’.”

“Fine. So, he’s your partner?”

“Yeah.”

“And you’re here to ask a favor on behalf of him and his friend.”

“…Yes.”

“Sure! What about them? Do you want to let them in as trainees?”

“Hum, no. They have a debt…“

Her eyes were quickly on him again. “You want money?”

“And I am fully aware that you won’t simply give it to me. So the money you will give, you can take back from my pay.”

“You are aware that you are literally putting yourself back into the situation you’ve been trying to quit for two years?”

“I do hate being indebted to someone but I like being a host. I appreciate my job contrary to two years ago. Plus, I know you’ve grown; it won’t be like before, I’ll make sure of it. You actually listen now when I say I don’t want to do something.”

She looked down and took a deep breath.

“We’ll be able to communicate and you’ll be able to listen to what I have to say…Or would you maybe not mind just giving the money to me?”

“How much?”

“…You’ll probably have to ask Seungri. The others don’t-“

“They have a debt to the fucking yakuza?” She looked annoyed by their stupidity more than worried.

“Yeah. We thought they had forgotten about it…Well, we _think_ they forgot about it or just decided they didn’t care anymore or decided they would just lie low for a while or whatever but, anyway: yesterday, three of our pack members got followed home and we thought that maybe it was them again. Maybe it isn’t. But I think that it would be reassuring for all of us to know the debt is paid.”

She sighed again.

“And I don’t mind continuing to do sex work too so-“

“About that: I’ve been thinking,” she started, “- it’s good that you talk about it. Sit down. I’ve been thinking: would you want to manage that? Like your clients and all.”

“Eh…”

“Of course, I’ll transfer the contacts of your usual to you but you’ll be able to choose more who you decide to…lie with and who you don’t want to…I talked with Sohi about it the other day to know how Hansuke viewed it and she said that he usually felt really happy and confident in it because that way he could-”

“Are you saying that because you still feel bad about what happened in December?”

“Obviously, I am. It was my mistake to-“

“It is not your fault he raped me just like it isn’t _my_ fault. He’s the one who decided he wouldn’t be a decent human being. I know what I’m exposing myself to, doing this job; there are risks even in the proposition you are-“

“There are _fewer_ risks.”

“Hansuke-senpai still got beaten up.”

“Hansuke didn’t get beaten up by one of his clients; he got beaten up by a random dude that had a bias against prostitutes, I shall remind you.”

“Still, someone could still pay to-“

“Who _pays_ to leave someone for dead?”

Luhan shut up for a second.

“I think it would be for your best interest to manage your clients the way you want to. Sohi says she’ll give you help if you need any and I can always help you myself with most of the paper work if you want to because there will be a lot and I understand you don’t necessarily have the time to do it. I won’t even be taking a share for the things I do, as an apology for the past. You’ll be totally free of what you choose to do and what not.”

Luhan nodded hesitantly.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured to take that decision but…” She thought about what she wanted to say for a few seconds. “I also don’t want to keep pimping you out to random girls and guys like I’ve basically been doing since the beginning.” Luhan opened his mouth. “And don’t you dare say it was alright. It wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t alright in the beginning, no. I…I don’t know how to explain this…I didn’t forgive your actions but I…don’t hold any grudges against you anymore. Your actions were horrible but I know you’ve grown a lot and that’s why I wouldn’t mind to keep working in the arrangement we have now because _now_ I trust you.”

“Alright.” She sighed. She took a moment before looking up at her employee again. “But I won’t be offering that arrangement anymore.”

Luhan suddenly went pale.

“Wait. Listen to me. I’m not firing you; you can keep working as a host for me that’s a completely different subject. But as for the sex work: I’m not comfortable in the act of administrating your services. I want _you_ to choose your clients. I want _you_ to decide your schedules. I want _you_ to decide what prices you will set and how many clients you decide to take in a day and…what you do with them. I don’t want to continue saying ‘oh, he does pretty much everything as long as you pay for it’. I’m just…”

She stopped herself, her eyes becoming humid. She frowned as she tried to hold her tears in.

“I would have told you if I was uncomfortable with doing anything,” the host made his voice soft, trying to ease his friend’s mind.

“That’s not the point! The point is: I don’t want to say that for you.”

Luhan frowned. “…Alright. I understand.”

“So: if you want to continue doing sex work, it’ll be by doing your own arrangements; I’ll only be a hand to help you if you need anything. If you want Hiro to continue being your bodyguard: sure. If you want I can even pay him for you or you could also do that yourself. That or you just stop doing sex work or get someone else to manage it for you, I don’t know. I just don’t want it to seem like I _own_ you anymore. It makes me feel disgusting.”

“It’s alright, I understand…I think I’ll do that…Do you think senpai would be ready to…”

“Meet you?”

She made a face.

“How is he?” The shape-shifter asked.

“Sohi says he probably wouldn’t mind seeing me but he’s…He still isn’t able to leave home and he also still refuses to see any males…But maybe he would be fine with you since you’re his kouhai and all…but I don’t know. Best talk about it with Sohi, she could ask him. Do you have her number?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

“Okay…Yeah we kind of totally digressed, didn’t we?” She laughed.

“Yeah,” Luhan imitated her.

“Your partner’s debt.”

“Yes.”

“Sure! I’ll call Seungri and deal with it. When I know the exact sum of money, I’ll call you so we can discuss on how you want to repay it.”

“Alright, thank you.” He bowed.

“And, Lu.”

“Mmh?”

“Know that that doesn’t mean you’re forced to work at the club for the rest of your life. Whenever you want to quit: you say it. Sure, I’ll be sad and it’ll be hard to find someone as good and fun-to-work-with as you, but that’s not your problem. That’s mine and I’ve become quite good at problem-solving.”

Luhan smiled. “I’m proud of you, imouto-chan. You’ve come a long way from when I first met you.”

“Oh my god! Don’t call me ‘imouto-chan’ at the club!”

“No one heard us! Let me have my moment. It’s hard for me to work for someone younger than me. Once in a while I need to-“

“Remind me you’re the older one? Yeah, yeah. Get out of here. Enjoy your day off while I continue to be ‘good at problem-solving’.”

“Alright, have a nice day, Hotaru-san.” He bowed and so did she.

“You too.”

 

 

 

 

_Monday June 11 th 2012_

Kris wasn’t surprised when he felt the heavy feelings emanating from the break room.

He sighed. _Maybe it would have been better for him to stay home._

Baekhyun had been gloomy all weekend; the date of June 9th reminding him of his past relationship and bringing him back into a not so fun state of mind. Just a down amongst so many ups.

Kris looked around, not sure of what he should do. He wanted to go check up on his friend but didn’t want to leave the cash unsupervised.

Sitting at a table, doing his school work on a computer, Kai was fast to spot as the Korean man was trying to make eye-contact with him.

“Do you want me to go?” he mouthed.

“Yes, please,” Kris answered in a similar manner.

When the student passed next to him, he thanked him.

 

 

 

 

Kai knocked before entering the room carefully.

“Hey, you okay?” He closed the door behind himself. He noticed his hyung was holding his cell phone in his hands, fidgeting with it.

“Yeah, sorry about that. I guessed you would feel it.”

“I don’t mind.” He sat down next to Baekhyun. “Wanna talk about it?”

The older man breathed in and passed him his phone. Kai concluded that he had to read what was written on it.

Apparently, what had troubled his friend that much was a message he received on social media.

_“Hey, my dongsaeng...It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I think we have a lot of catching up to do. I would really want to talk to you again. To apologize, mainly, but also to know where you are now in life and other things like that. I’ve been a horrible hyung for you for these past few years and I want to try my best to make up for it for you. I really hope we can talk again. From a hyung that loves you very much no matter who you decide to date.”_

Kai frowned. _His hyung?_ He looked at the name. _“Byun Baek Beom”. Aaaah, so he has an older brother? Didn’t know._

“I didn’t know you had an older brother…”

“Yeah…I never really wanted to talk about him…”

“Is it fine if I ask…What did he do..?”

“He didn’t really _do_ anything…It’s just…When my parents found out I was gay they…Stopped talking and…So did he.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“I wasn’t really expecting that message.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

Kai had given Baekhyun’s phone back to him and he was fidgeting with it once again.

“What do you want to do?”

“I would want to talk to him again but, at the same time, I’m scared and I’m also…Really angry because he never once tried to reach out in _two years.”_

“Mmh.”

“But at the same time, I don’t feel like they told him so…”

“They?”

“My parents.”

“Aaaah. You don’t think they told him you were gay.”

Baekhyun shook his head: “They would have wanted to keep it a secret, I’m sure. Maybe he thought I had murdered someone or something and that’s why I got disowned.”

Kai took some time to process that word. _Disowned. My parents would never._

“I think we should talk.” Baekhyun affirmed.

Kai smiled. “Okay.”

“Hum…” He typed. “How does: ‘Hi, hyung. Yes, I would like to speak with you again. How would you like for us to do it?’ sound?”

“It’s…A bit cold, don’t you think?”

“I don’t really want to get his hopes up.”

“Ah, sure.”

He stared at the message.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” Kai patted his back. “We’re all going to be here, whatever happens.”

“Yeah…You’re right.”

He sent it.

He put his cell phone away when that was done and sighed joyfully.

“Okay, it’s done.”

“Yeah, it’s done.” The younger man rubbed circles around his back.

Baekhyun grinned. “I’m proud of myself.”

“I’m proud of you too.”

The older man rested his head on the other’s shoulder and threw his arms around him.

“Thank you for coming.”

“No problem. Also, Kris was also worried about you: just so you know. He would have come as well but…Well, the café.”

“Yeah…” The smaller man grinned once again. “…I feel strong.”

“You should.” Kai laughed. “You’ve made a lot of progress.”

“Ah, not because of that but…Yeah, that too I guess. But, no, you guys make me feel strong. Like I know you’re there for me and I know you know I’m there for you and I just generally feel like we are strong and that the relationships I have with you guys make me strong.”

“Oooooh. Yeah. I see what you’re saying. Yeah…I never realized but I think I feel like that too…Thanks, I never realized that.”

“You’re welcome, I guess.” Baekhyun giggled.

 

 

 

 

“Okay. Let’s do this.” He squeezed Chanyeol’s hand one last time before answering the video call. His boyfriend was sitting by his side, far enough not to appear on the screen but close enough for Baekhyun to feel at ease.

His brother seemed to be shocked to see him, his smile disappearing to let his jaw drop in a melancholic expression.

 _“Oh my…You’ve changed so much.”_ He let out a bewildered scoff. _“You’ve definitely become a man.”_

Baekhyun smiled modestly. “Thank you.”

 _“Ssib-”_ His brother looked down as his voice cracked.

He kept his head low, face turned away from the camera.

_Is he…Crying?_

His brother wiped his cheek and turned to the camera once again. Baekhyun saw, for the first time in his life, his hyung’s eyes red with tears. His throat felt tighter all of a sudden. _He’s crying._

 _“I’m so sorry, Baekhyun.”_ His hand covered his mouth. He moved it to rub his eye and then left it on the side of his face. _“I had no idea. I’m so sorry. Eomma never wanted to explain why and you know Appa…No one told me about anything…If I had known…If I had known there’s no way…Oh my god. You could have come live with me! I would have let you! No way I would have let you go to a country you don’t even know all by yourself!”_

His brother stared at him. Baekhyun could see the veins on his temples sticking out. He gulped back the urge to join him in his display of emotions.

He closed his eyes. _“I failed you.”_ He looked at him again. _“I’m sorry.”_

Baekhyun smiled joylessly and grabbed his arm, rubbing it: “Yeah…I figured it was probably because of them that you…Stopped talking to me.”

“Yeah…I got mad at them when I found out…I told them they weren’t invited to my wedding or anything like that anymore. Of course, _you_ are.”

The shape-shifter was caught by surprise. “Wait. You’re getting married?”

“Eeeeeeeh…Well, I have a girlfriend but I didn’t propose yet. But…I think she’s the one, yeah.”

“That’s…That’s amazing. I’m happy for you.”

“Thank you.”

“…How…Did you find out?” Baekhyun tried his best not to bring the mood back down but he felt it did anyway.

“Your…Hum…Jung Ho’s parents told me. Turns out his mother works with Hye Jin. They’re pretty close. They really wanted to know how you were.”

Baekhyun’s mental barriers broke down at that; he let the tears flow out. Chanyeol reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, massaging the tense muscles there.

“Oh. Someone’s with you? Who is it? Namjachingu? Do you want to present him to me?”

The younger man chuckled. This time it was genuine. It was funny to hear the excitement in his brother’s tone and it was also, mostly, comforting to know he _wanted_ him to have a boyfriend.

“Yeah. My boyfriend.” He pulled Chanyeol’s chair so his brother could see him.

“Oh! Woah! Nice catch, nae dongsaeng. Your boyfriend is truly handsome.” He gave him a thumb up and Baekhyun laughed.

He wiped his tears away.

“Thank you. Hum…This is Chanyeol, Chanyeol; this is my hyung, Baek Beom.”

“Oh, he’s Korean? Nice to meet you, Chanyeol. Thank you for taking care of my Baekhyunnie.”

“It’s my pleasure.”

Baekhyun got embarrassed by the small silence that followed where the two men seemed to wordlessly bond over their love for him. _This is so awkward what the hell. Stop!_

“You should let me meet your girlfriend too. What did you say she was called?”

“Hye Jin.”

“Hye Jin,” Baekhyun repeated, “I’m sure she’s pretty.”

“I’m sure you’ll like her.” He smiled fondly. “So, what else is new? You live in Japan, you have a boyfriend…Do…Do you have a job? Do…Did you make many friends?”

“I do have a job. I have two in fact. I work in a café and I also work in a music school.”

“Oh! So you continued in music. That’s nice to hear.”

Baekhyun lowered his eyes, suddenly reminded that he never finished his studies in that field.

“Yeah, and I did make many friends. Actually, I have, eeeeeh…” He counted on his fingers. “Eleven roommates, including Chanyeol.”

“Oh my god! What kind of house do you live in?” Baek Beom laughed.

“We live in a hangar that was modified a bit to make some apartments.”

“A hangar. Wow. Okay. Unconventional.”

“Yeah. And I have friends outside of them too. We are pretty close to five girls we own the music school with.”

“Ooooh. That’s cool. I’m happy to know your circle is pretty well established. Hum, for me…I have like three friends I actually see often and others not too much and I have Hye Jin who I live with. I’m still in the same old apartment in Suwon but we’re looking for another one right now, still in Suwon. You’re always welcomed if ever you’re coming by to Korea and you need a place to stay. You’re welcome too, Chanyeol. Maybe don’t come with the ten other people because I don’t think it’ll fit but…We can try?”

“Thank you, hyung.”

“Are you all Korean or..? I’m assuming there’s at least one Japanese person in your bunch.”

“Eh…Actually, no. Wait, no. I remember Tao said he had his Japanese citizenship at some point but his parents and him are Chinese. Other than that we’re pretty much all either Korean or Chinese…Oh, Kris is Canadian too though.”

“None of you is actually Japanese?”

“No.”

“I’m surprised.”

“It does seem surprising.”

“Are you all guys or are there girls living with you?”

“All guys.”

“Oh, cool. Must be pretty peaceful then.”

“Why?”

“There’s no like epic mood swings once a month.”

“There are mood swings because they happen to everyone and that’s totally fine. We learn to deal with them and to understand that sometimes others feel emotions more deeply at certain times.”

“…Oh! Yeah. Yeah, sure…I see you’ve matured a lot, nae dongsaeng.”

“Yeah…I have.”

 

 

 

 

_Saturday August 23 rd 2014 _

“Hey!” The four Chinese men sang in unison which surprised Suho as there Skype call had just connected.

 _“Hey!”_ He laughed and frowned a few seconds after. _“Where’s Tao? He didn’t want to speak to me?”_

“Exactly. He didn’t feel like seeing your face. It’s too feminine to his liking,” Chen teased.

Suho rolled his eyes. _“Well, maybe he’ll bother enduring my looks once he knows I finally fixed the light bulb in the staircase like he’s been asking me for years.”_

“There’s a light in the staircase?” Kris asked.

 _“Yeah,”_ Suho confirmed, _“it’s just it burned like three years ago and we never changed it.”_

“Ah! So that’s why I felt like I had seen the stairs illuminated in the past!” Xiumin exclaimed.

_“Yeah. I just kept forgetting that I had to do that…And then Kai fell down the stairs the other day and it reminded me.”_

“Oh my god, he fell down the stairs?” Kris tried his best to keep himself from laughing. Chen and Lay didn’t. “Is he alright?”

“Ah- right, yeah: is he alright?” Lay repeated still chuckling.

_“Yeah, yeah. He’s fine. He teleported himself at the end of the stairs by reflex. He was a bit above the floor so he bruised himself a bit but, apart from that, he’s alright. All that to say: the light bulb is changed now.”_

“I wish I could have been there to see that,” Chen commented.

_“Sehun took a picture of him lying on the ground after he fell. I’ll tell him to send it to you.”_

“Thank youuuuu.”

“Tao’s sleeping by the way; we walked a lot today so he was tired,” Lay informed the Korean leader.

_“Young people these days…”_

“Yeah but he didn’t sleep too well yesterday so,” Xiumin explained, “it’s understandable he didn’t have a lot of energy today.

 _“Oh? Did something happen?”_ The man who was still in Japan asked.

He looked at Kris. The man smiled sadly.

“It’s what we thought it was.”

 _“Oh…With his mom?”_ Suho clearly empathised.

“Yeah…He was sleeping yesterday and gē’s mom slammed a door by accident which made him wake up and have a panic attack,” Kris explained calmly, “he spitted everything out.”

_“Oh. Hug him for me, okay?”_

“Will do.”

“Oh my god, your mom was so traumatized,” Chen turned to his mate, remembering how the lady had reacted, “she felt sooo bad.” He turned to his friend on the computer screen. “His mom kept apologizing and we had to take her out of the room for a few minutes and when she came back in she hug Tao and, like, she kept reassuring him and she told him she would make cake and we ate it today and it was sooooooooo good.” He turned to his best friend once again. “Really, gē, your mom is the sweetest.”

_“So you’re staying at Xiumin-hyung’s place right now.”_

“Yeah, we left our friends’ place three days ago.”

_“Aaaah.”_

They heard someone vocalizing from the speakers.

“Is that Baekhyun?” Lay wondered.

_“Ah, yes. He’s been practicing his scales and all since school’s starting again soon.”_

“Wait, I know this one…Lydian mode?”

_“I think it is. I’ll ask.”_

He screamed his question and Baekhyun screamed his answer quickly before continuing to sing.

_“Yep, it is.”_

Xiumin smiled brightly, proud to have known the answer.

“How is everyone?” Lay asked.

_“Everyone’s fiiiine. We’re missing you guys, but it’s fine.”_

“Aw, you’re missing us?”

_“Yeah, I kind of feel like an old man around the others.”_

“That’s because you are an old man. You should accept the facts, Suho.”

_“Shut up, Kris. Oh! God! But I need to rant about something.”_

“Sure,” Xiumin said but Suho did not wait for a permission to start.

_“Chanyeol has been obsessed with this video of an American kid and I am so annoyed! He’s been listening to a remix of the video all day on his speakers!” _

“Wasn’t he obsessed with a lizard or something?”

 _“He moved on I guess. And- oh my god – the other day Amber came over, okay? And they listened to it together and sang so fucking loud! Ugh. They knew every fucking word.”_ He added, insisting on the last words.

“If you’re swearing it must be really intense.”

_“This morning I woke up and I had it stuck in my head! I’m so done with this kid!”_

“Chanyeol or the American kid?”

_“Both. I feel like if I hear the dumb song once again I will decapitate him.”_

_“Please don’t decapitate my boyfriend!”_ Came Baekhyun’s voice, screaming from another room.

 _“Noah Ritter is a bright kid and he will go places in life!”_ Came Chanyeol’s. _“And the remix is brilliant!”_

_“It’s annoying! You should know better with your master’s in music!”_

They heard rapid footsteps and Suho turned to look at his door. Chanyeol came in.

 _“Fight me.”_ He had a fireball in his hands.

Suho was completely turned around; they could only see the back of his computer chair. In the corner of the screen, they saw floating fluidy tentacles coil around the man and pull him outside of the room. One of the tentacles came back to slam the door shut. It looked like a scene out of a children’s movie.

 _“I win.”_ He turned back to them. He looked greatly irked. _“Next time you go in China, I’m not letting you take my mate with you.”_

“Alright,” Xiumin laughed at that.

“I’ll be back soon, Bǎo bèi. Only two more sleeps and I’ll be back in your arms.”

Chen rolled his eyes. “It sounds like you’re talking to a baby.”

_“He would make a good father.”_

The Chinese man triggered his gag reflex humouristically. “Okay, fuck this. I’m leaving.”

“Are you finally admitting to your daddy kink, Suho?” Kris teased.

 _“I don’t have a daddy kink!”_ They could see his flushed cheeks very clearly.

“You totally have a daddy kink,” Tao assured, entering the room.

“Hey, you’re awake.” Kris turned around.

“Did we wake you up?” Xiumin asked.

“No, it’s fine. I couldn’t sleep. Thank you for changing the light bulb, gē.”

_“Sure.”_

“Can you come with?” Tao was talking to his boyfriend.

The latter stood up automatically, waving his friends goodnight.

 

 

 

 

_Wednesday April 8 th 2015_

Sulli was on her cell phone, eating in their break room, when she picked up a word in her friends’ conversation.

“’Best friend’? Did you forget hyung’s your boyfriend, Chen?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

She raised an eyebrow, laughing. “Yeah, right. What is he then?”

“My best friend who I am going out with,” he answered.

“My wife,” Xiumin answered simultaneously.

Chen’s head had never turned this fast. _Wait, what did he-_

“What did you say?” Sulli asked first.

“I said he was my wife.”

The woman chuckled and so did Chen, only his laugh was a bit more awkward.

“Shut up.” He tried to maintain a collected expression in front of Sulli, yes, but also in front of Xiumin. _He always does this; he always tries to embarrass me in public. Fuck it; he won’t be getting any reaction._ ”You never once called me your wife.”

“I thought it could be a nice nickname to add to the list. I mean, we’ve had ‘partner in crime’ and ‘teammate’ and ‘comrade’…I thought ‘wife’ could be a nice, eh…addition.”

The younger man rolled his eyes.

“What? You don’t like it?”

“Cut the-“

“Would you like it better if I started calling you ‘husband’ instead?”

That took Chen – and Sulli – by surprise. He couldn’t stop the blush that spread on his cheeks.

A few days before, it had been announced that the ward they lived in, Tokyo’s Shibuya, would allow same-sex couples to own special partnership certificates. The news played and replayed in the singer’s head as he stared Xiumin in the eyes.

Sulli looked between the both of them, feeling really small and far from them suddenly.

“What are you…talking about?” Chen spoke.

“I’m saying that I could start calling you my husband,” the soft voice explained.

The younger man didn’t answer. He wished he could have found some witty answer to that but he wasn’t able to think properly.

Chen realized nervous giggles had been escaping his mouth when Xiumin cut them: “All you would have to say is: ‘yes’.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Do I look like I’m kidding?” If his tone had been teasing beforehand, the tone he had used to ask that question and the emotions he had gave off had been calm and reassuring.

This time, it’s a smile that Chen can’t stop from spreading on his face. He looked away.

He was happy but he was also cringing internally. He wanted to laugh just as much as he wanted to cry rose petals or something. There was a part of him that wanted to hide too since he was fully aware that Sulli was still in the room with them, watching them interact.

He forced a normal expression back on his face and glanced at her and then at Xiumin. As soon as he saw the latter’s teasing look, the smile he had wiped away from his face reappeared, forcing him to turn his back to his gēge once again. The latter exploded with laughter.

Chen could picture it in his mind; he had seen his best friend laugh so many times. His teeth and his gums were showing and his cheeks were pushed so high his eyes only formed two thin lines that slightly tilted towards the center of his face.

Eventually, the flustered Chinese man just buried his face in his hands. _Alright._

He nodded.

“Did you nod?”

Another nod.

“Hey! Nodding doesn’t count; you need to say it,” Xiumin whined.

Chen risked coming out of his hiding spot, taking his hands off his face, but he soon hid behind one hand placed on the side of his face. He wanted neither him nor Sulli to see his expression.

“…Yes.”

Hearing Xiumin’s laugh resonate into the school’s dining room once more, the younger Chinese man decided it was better for him to cover his face again.

He felt a hand grip the back of his neck affectionally before he felt the other man stand up next to him and peck his head. He sat back down, still laughing, and Chen unavoidably starting doing so as well.

Sulli lowered her head slowly and installed herself to look at her cell phone. _Why must this happen to me?_

 

 

 

 

_Tuesday January 26 th 2021 _

“Hotaru?”

_“Hey, Lu. You home right now?”_

“Yeah, why?”

_“There’s something going on right now…Hum…I don’t know what to say. Look at the news? I think it would be easier. They’re probably all talking about it.”_

Luhan frowned. He looked for his phone for a few seconds only to realize that he had it in his hand. _Fuck it; I’ll go on the TV._

He opened the TV and changed the channel to the news. Indeed, whatever Hotaru was referencing to seemed to be the only thing the channel was talking about.

_“…of all over the world to come forward and announce that they share similar abilities including artists such as…”_

“Wait. What are they talking about?”

“What’s up?” Lay came in.

“Hotaru called me and told me to watch the news there’s something…Wait. Listen.”

_“Indeed. It’s kind of unbelievable, isn’t it? But the video we taught had been a marketing prank to promote a possible new Bollywood movie has been confirmed to be true by many law enforcement officials here in India earlier. They share that numerous citizens of Sitamarhi town witnessed the dalit woman transform into a cow to defend a boy…”_

“Oh my god.”

“Does that mean...”

“Are they saying what I think they’re saying?” Luhan asked into the phone. It wasn’t really a question.

 _“Yes,”_ Hotaru answered seriously, _“they are.”_

_“Here is the clip that has been circulating on the...”_

The video was shaky, the person holding the cell phone being continuously shoved. They were screaming something, joining the voices of people in front of them that were being held from intervening.

Luhan was able to spot the woman the news had been talking about but not without difficulty; there were so many people there. He noticed a shape behind her, a kid he assumed younger than Gen and Yuu. He was holding his face with one hand and something else behind his back with the other. He was staring at the angry men who were shouting at them.

Something was thrown at them – Luhan assumed it was a rock – and it hit the child.

After noticing the harm that had been done, the woman did something the deer never thought he would witness on TV: she transformed into an animal shape.

A cow.

“Shit.”

He exchanged a look with Lay.

_“Although many people across the country and across the globe are calling the ‘cow-lady’ a monster, many also believe her to be divine due to the Sitamarhi district being associated to the birth-place of Sita, an important figure in Hinduism and…”_

“What should we do?” Luhan asked, not for anyone in particular.

 _“We should wait and see,”_ Hotaru answered.

“We need to talk about it with the others,” Lay affirmed. “Let’s invite the girls too. I’ll make more fish.”

He moved behind the counter once again.

“Hotaru, I’ll call you another time, okay?”

_“Sure, but, before you go, I want to tell you that I’m here and that I will support you guys through this.”_

“Thank you. I appreciate it. Truly.”

_“Of course.”_

Luhan put his phone back in his pocket and closed the TV. The last thing they had been showing were what looked like posts from Twitter. The shape-shifter didn’t have time to see if they were supportive or not. He didn’t want to know.

“What about Yuu and Gen?” He asked, walking to his friend in the kitchen space.

“I think it would be best to talk about it with them too. They know about our identities and I’m sure they will be worried; it’s impossible to prevent them from seeing the news, they are everywhere. Plus, Suho and I swore to not keep anything from them.”

“…Don’t you think it’ll be…too much for them to bear? They’ve only just joined the family.”

Lay was silent for a moment.

“I’m not sure but…I feel like talking with them about the problems we face will help them understand that they are part of us…But I’m not sure. I’m not really sure of anything to be honest. To be responsible for someone…This is all so new.”

Luhan stared at his friend both empathizing with and admiring the younger man. _It’s been only a week. I know he said Suho and him were prepared for hardships since Gen and Yuu are already ten but they probably never expected that something like this would happen. Heck, I don’t even know what to do with my well-being and they have to think for the one of two other people. _

“I feel bad for you. We…No one would have expected this to happen…”

“We’ll work it out somehow. We always did, didn’t we?” He glanced at Luhan, knowingly. “Let’s just see it as Suho and I’s first test as fathers.”

“We’ll be there for you too. We’ve already established that, even though you two are there parents, these kids are all of us’ kids too. We’ll help you two make sure they grow well.”

 

 

 

 

“Are they really our onee-sans?” They had never seen Gen this joyful. She had sparkles in her eyes.

“Yes,” Suho laughed seeing his daughter’s reaction.

“They are so pretty.” She stared at them with her mouth agape.

Kris leaned to talk to Amber in English. They spoke with the kids in Japanese for now because that’s the language they always spoke in their foster houses so he knew there was no way for them to understand what he was saying. “You girls are lucky; this is the first time we see that big of a smile on her face.”

“Really?” Amber was replying that out of sadness more than out of surprise. There was nothing surprising there. She knew the two had had difficulties creating profound bonds with people all their life due to the fear of having to leave them again. She thought it was only normal for them to have a hard time opening up emotionally to people.

“But Vic-eomma is so old now you could probably call her obaa-san” Luna commented, teasing her friend.

Victoria raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah? Alright. Okay. You two should call me obaa-san. I’ll be the best grand-mother out there.”

“Hey! Don’t try to steal our children from us!” Lay accused warmly.

“Yeah, we’ve only just had them,” Baekhyun added.

“Get your own if you want some,” Suho commented.

"Trust me, you guys are enough on our hands already,” the leader of the bird pack teased.

 

 

 

 

“But there’s nothing to worry about,” Suho reassured Gen and Yuu as he tucked his them into bed. Lay was sitting next to them on Gen side while Suho sat on the opposite’s, on Yuu’s. “You might hear people not saying good things about us but it’s alright. They are only saying that because they are scared and don’t understand us but that is surely going to change. There are already maaaaaany people that are teaching others about us. So, there’s no need to be scared.”

“I’m not scared,” Gen spoke confidently, “I have Yuu.”

The adults froze for a few seconds.

“Yes, you have him but you have us too,” Lay affirmed, “and you have your oni-sans and your onee-sans and maaaany other people that you don’t even know yet.”

“The people we’ll go to next?” Yuu sounded worried.

Suho frowned. “No? We told you, you’re not going to go into another family. You’re staying with us. We’re your family now.”

“And it’s alright that you might not feel like we are right now, we’re not mad. However, we will try our best to create a future where you will.”

“Yes. So, we want you to know: if you are worried about anything, if want to talk about anything: we’re here. And- Hum, if you don’t feel like you want to talk about it with _us,_ know that your oni-sans and onee-sans are there too, kay?”

The two children didn’t answer. They looked at Suho. He felt analysed.

“Alright?”

Gen nodded.

They had learned that, most of the time, her answer was valid for the both of them, Yuu often just following what she would do.

“Is there…Something you want to talk about?” Lay proposed.

Gen looked down at her covers and Yuu continued to stare at her. She pulled the covers up shyly.

She seemed hesitant to speak, her parents thought. _So, there is something. _They hoped she would tell them.

“…I don’t like the color of our room’s walls. I find it ugly.”

 

 

 

 

“So?” D.O asked as the two came back in the hangar.

“Is any of you good at painting?” Suho asked, laughing.

“Why?”

“Gen hates the color of her room.”

“So Gen _and Yuu_ hate the color of their room?” Kai raised an eyebrow, knowingly.

“Exactly.”

“I told you that at their age they wouldn’t like lilac,” Tao commented.

“But I heard it would help them sleep…” Suho pouted.

“Did she say what color she wanted?” Baekhyun asked. “I think I could do a pretty okay painting job.”

“She said white,” Lay answered.

“White?” Amber questioned. “I thought she would have went for something more – I don’t know – special? Like a savannah wallpaper with elephants and giraffes.”

“That’s _you’re_ ideal room,” Krystal critiqued.

“What kind of kid wouldn’t like a wallpaper with elephants and giraffes?” Her girlfriend was scandalised.

“I told you we should have left the room like it was in the first place and let them decide,” Chen, the previous owner of the room that was now occupied by the two children, spoke.

“She says white makes the room seem more spacious and that that way it would be easier to decorate it as their taste change.” Suho chose to ignore Chen’s comment, deciding to brag about his child.

Complete silence.

“Quite the mature child you have there, both of you,” Luna complimented.

“Isn’t she?” Lay smiled brightly.

“So, they weren’t worried about the situation?” Sulli wondered.

“If they were, it wasn’t there first concern,” Suho answered.

“That’s good.”

“But they are scared of getting taken away I think,” he continued. “I think it would be better if we didn’t reveal ourselves to the public.”

“Yeah, I talked with Hotaru earlier and she says it would be best to wait and see and I agree,” Luhan spoke.

“Yeah. Well, girls, you can do what you want. I’m mostly asking the pack since they live with us.”

“Sure,” Victoria acknowledged him, “but for the moment we wanted to do like Luhan said: ‘wait and see’. We think that would be best.”

“Just so you know,” Amber spoke up, “I might come out. I’ve already been receiving comments of people telling me they would continue supporting me if ever I was a shape-shifter so…I think I’ll tell my fans.”

“Alright.”

“Talking about support, Hotaru wants me to say that she will support us, by the way.”

“That’s nice of her.”

“Thank her for us.”

“I-“

His phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and frowned seeing the caller’s ID.

“Key?”

_“You’re a shape-shifter, aren’t you?”_

He heard Jonghyun in the back criticize his straight-forwardness with a: _“He’s gonna think you wanna put him in jail or something.”_

_Or something alright._

“You’re not filming, are you?”

_“No, I’m not, don’t worry. I’m just asking because…Well, the news. Actually, not true; I’ve figured it out. Just tell me already.”_

“Eh…What makes you think that?”

_“Ugh. So many things? Starting from the fact that you can’t fucking get drunk and you call your group of friends a ‘pack’.”_

The host chuckled. _Yeah, of course it would be easy for them to put the pieces together the minute they found out it was a puzzle._ “As expected, I can’t hide anything from the almighty Key.”

The man laughed.

“Wait.” Amber spoke and it got Luhan’s attention. He noticed the girls were all staring at him, eyes questioning. “You know Key?”

“…Yeah? Him and Bling Bling used to work at the host’s club. You know them?”

“What?” Amber shouted.

“Yeah, we’ve known them since like 2008!” Luna joined her surprise.

 _“Was that Luna? You know Luna?”_ Key asked. _“Wait. Oh my god. Are the girls shape-shifters too?”_

 _“No way!”_ Jonghyun screamed.

Luhan looked at his friends.

“Well…They know.”

 

 

 

 

** Llama/Bird Q&A ft. Chanyeol  **

Published on Jul 10, 2021

 

(The word “jump” here refers to an editing cut mostly when used when we jump from a scene to the other)

Video opens with the What the Pineapple paint logo thing. The camera is filming walking feet. It focuses on a small black dog. The animal notices the filming person.

AMBER

Bark.

The dog replies in similar language. Cue to music.

We hear rapid footsteps coming down stairs. A small girl appears in the room.

GEN

Amber onee-san!!!

AMBER

_(in English)_

Hi, Gen! How are you doing?

GEN

_(cutely)_

I am doing gud!

She shows two thumbs up.

AMBER

Yeeeeey! Good! _(moving towards the young girl)_ High five!

The camera shakes as they high five. Amber switches the camera to her and to show her smile.

GEN

_(in Japanese)_

What are you filming?

AMBER

_(in the same language)_

A video for my YouTube channel!

GEN

Ah! With Chanyeol oni-san?

AMBER

Yep! Is he upstairs?

GEN

Yes! He’s in his room!

AMBER

Okay! Thank you, Gen!

We see Amber’s face as she talks.

AMBER

Gen, everyone. She’s my friends’ kid. Super sweet. _(She looks down to see where she is stepping as she talks while climbing the stairs)_ Today, I’m at Chanyeol’s place. We are going to be filming 2 videos! This one and another one on his channel.

Jump. The music cut. We see a tattooed arm opening a door slowly. The camera shows the man inside, he’s sitting in front of a computer doing what looks like video editing. He hears her and turns around. He removes his headphones.

CHANYEOL

Hellooooo!

Colorful TV glitch effect. They are sitting on Chanyeol’s bed. In the background we can see a fan art poster of Iron Man and Deadpool fighting and a closed door.

AMBER

_(in English) (The dialogues they say will continue to be in English throughout the video unless stated otherwise.)_

Hello everybody!

CHANYEOL

Hi!

AMBER

So I’ve seen you guys have been asking many questions since I `came-out` - I guess you could say – as a shape-shifter so today we are gonna be doing a Q&A and, hopefully, I can answer all the questions you had regarding that and maybe other subjects in one video! And Chanyeol here, who is a friend of mine outside of and inside YouTube and who I have known for…a bit more than ten years I think?

CHANYEOL

Yep.

AMBER

A very close friend as many of you already know. He’s gonna answer the questions with me! So I asked you guys on social media to send us questions and…

Amber looks at her phone and makes a face.

AMBER

Well, you sent many. Like maaaaany.

She reads something and laughs.

CHANYEOL

_(pushing Amber’s cell phone down)_

Ya! Not now! Not now!

AMBER

Right. Oups. Hum, so, first of all, Chanyeol: apart from being a wonderful person that is full of talent and very fun to be with, why do you think it is that I wanted to do this with _you_? What do we have in common?

CHANYEOL

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh…  _(he thinks)_ We are both very gay.

AMBER

That’s not- _(she laughs)_ We’re not even gay! Like, yeah, we both have partners of the same gender as ourselves – I give it to you – but that doesn’t mean- _(she sighs)_ I’m bi, remember?

CHANYEOL

_(staring straight into the camera)_

Right. Orlando Bloom.

AMBER

Yes. Orlando Bloom. And you…What term do you identify with again? Like, gray-sexual?

CHANYEOL

Hum, yeah. I associate with that one but…I don’t really know slash care so I don’t really use any term to identify my sexuality.

AMBER

You’re Baekhyunsexual?

CHANYEOL

I’m Baekhyunsexual.

The man laughs and the woman approaches the camera, putting a hand next to her mouth as if she were to tell a secret.

AMBER

_(whispering)_

Baekhyun is his booooyfriiiiend. _(She winks. It’s not the best wink but it is still a wink. She’s getting there.)_

CHANYEOL

My viewers know that. We made songs and covers together before. _(smiling to the camera)_ They love us.

AMBER

Yeah but we’re on _my_ channel.

CHANYEOL

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

AMBER

 _(short laughter of victory)_ But we will do a video on his channel after doing this one so do check it out. We will…

She looked at Chanyeol. The latter was as clueless as her.

AMBER

We haven’t decided yet what we’re going to do.

Jump.

AMBER

Okay but what Chanyeol and I really have in common is our shape-shifting ability. Which is why it is relevant to have him here with me.

CHANYEOL

It would be relevant to have me in every single one of your videos to be honest.

AMBER

 _(laughs but keeps talking: )_ So without further ado, we’ll start answering these questions.

Jump. The questions appear on the screen as they read them.

CHANYEOL

_(reading on his phone)_

Ah! That one’s good to start with. Jade Walker asks: “What animal(s) can you transform in?”

AMBER

For me Llama and Bird.

CHANYEOL

For me wolf.

Jump.

AMBER

 _(Doing a French accent to pronounce the person’s name: )_ Abigaëlle Montreuille asks: “Are your partners also shape-shifters?” Yep. For the both of us. Krystal’s also a bird and Baekhyun’s a wolf.

Jump.

AMBER

BubblePuff asks – oh my god, is that like a reference to the show with the superheroes girls? –

CHANYEOL

What?

AMBER

You know? They are like three sisters? And they have superpowers? They are like kids fighting crime.

She punched the air and there were hitting sound effects. Chanyeol looks into the camera and frowns.

AMBER

OH MY GOD YOU DON’T KNOW THE POWERPUFF GIRLS?!?

CHANYEOL

No?

Jump. Amber is showing him pictures on her phone.

CHANYEOL

Aaaaaaaaah. Yeah, I’ve seen them on Tumblr at one point.

AMBER

 _(gasps)_ You never watched the show?

CHANYEOL

Well I grew up in Korea so…

Amber looks into the camera, scandalised. Jump.

AMBER

So they asked: “Do you identify more as a human or as an animal. Or as both? And is there a form you prefer?” Oooh. That’s a good question. Huuuuum. I would say both because - how do I explain this – being a shape-shifter is like: you have you, right? Your “human” self and then you have these animals – or this animal, in Chanyeol’s case for example – living inside of you. And they are part of you and you should accept that. I do relate more to humans – I don’t think I would be able to go live among the animal kingdom – but…I do like going in my bird form. Flying is fun. But the form I prefer remains human. _(she turns to Chanyeol)_ What about you? Would you live your entire life as a wolf?

CHANYEOL

 _(He thinks for a moment before answering.)_ I feel like I would like being someone’s pet. I mean, you get so much attention and everyone basically does everything you ask. Plus, everyone loves puppies.

AMBER

You’re a rather big puppy.

CHANYEOL

People like big puppies.

AMBER

Some people are scared of them though.

CHANYEOL

I will…Help them get over their fear!

AMBER

Aaaaaaaw _(She goes to ruffle his hair like one would do to a dog.)_ Good puppyyyyy!

  1. smiles brightly.



CHANYEOL

I feel like that would be a good question to ask the others though.

AMBER

Riiiiiight. Okay. _(Taking the camera in her hands)_ Come with us.

Jump. We see Sehun, Kai and Taemin sitting on a couch. They have remotes in their hands but they are looking at the camera so we can assume they stopped their game to listen to the vloggers.

KAI

Are you going to be putting this on YouTube?

AMBER

If you mind, we won’t.

KAI

No, it’s fine. Shoot.

AMBER

Do you prefer your wolf shape or your human shape? Both of you.

TAEMIN

 _(speaking to Kai while the two shape-shifters were thinking:)_ I like your wolf shape better. Less ugly.

KAI

Get out.

SEHUN

Human.

KAI

Yeah, me too.

SEHUN

Who would answer wolf though? There are so many things you can’t do.

Jump.

XIUMIN

Wolf.

Chanyeol explodes in laughter. Xiumin side eyes him.

AMBER

Wolf?

XIUMIN

Yeah.

AMBER

Any particular reason?

XIUMIN

No. I just like it.

AMBER

Would you consider living all your life in your animal shape?

XIUMIN

Hum, no. I can’t really do that, can I? But it’s more like, I like spending time in my wolf shape and do so whenever I can. Just like lying around and stuff. It feels comfy.

CHANYEOL

Oh, okay. _(He had recovered from his laughter.)_

Amber turned the camera to Lay, Chen and Luhan.

AMBER

What about you guys?

LUHAN

Personally, I do like my deer form – I don’t really transform into my wolf one – but it’s like Xiumin said: not all the time.

CHEN

Human.

LAY

Human. We can see colors.

CHANYEOL

That’s the only reason why you prefer your human form?

LAY

Well, the main one. I appreciate seeing colors.

CHANYEOL

Alright. _(You could hear the XD in his voice.)_

The camera looked around the room.

AMBER

Do you know where the others are?

LAY

The kids wanted ice cream so Suho and Tao went with them to buy some. Kris is at the studio.

AMBER

AND THEY DIDN’T INVITE US?!?!?

LAY

You were filming…

AMBER

ONE _CAN_ AND _MAY_ INTERUPT FILMING TO OFFER ICE CREAM!!!

LUHAN

_(to Lay)_

Told ya.

LAY

We’ll know next time.

AMBER

Pff. You better.

CHEN

Pretty sure Kris and Tao prefer their human form and I would bet Suho likes his wolf’s best.

LAY

He does like it more when he’s in heat.

CHEN

Knew it.

XIUMIN

_(to Chen)_

You said he would-

LAY

The children like him better as a dog too.

LUHAN

_(not looking one bit at the camera and staring straight at Amber above it)_

Oh my god. The other day they wanted him to come pick them up at school in his wolf form and I went with him. It was _so_ cute the children were attacking him and stuff it was adorable.

CHEN

I would never fucking set foot near a school in my wolf form. That’s suicide, man. I don’t know how he did it.

Jump.

CHANYEOL

Lance’s right elbow asks: “What do you do irl?” _(Dramatically)_ Survive.

AMBER

 _(Simultaneously)_ Listen to Disney Movies and eat a lot of spicy cheetos why are you being so dramatic all of a sudden?

CHANYEOL

Oh, I feel for listening to Disney Movies though. Especially with the kids and all.

AMBER

You should bring them to watch some at our place some day.

CHANYEOL

True. We need to show them Ghibli movies too. I was only able to show them My Neighbor Totoro.

AMBER

Oh my god. Yes.

They stared at each other in the eyes for a moment.

AMBER

Okay but to answer your question: we both teach music in a nonscholastic establishment.

CHANYEOL

I do have some contracts out of it once in a while though.

Jump.

AMBER

Hewlett051003 asks: “POWERS question mark, question mark, question mark”. Hum, I’m not sure what you want us to answer but: yeah we do have powers although some people don’t. Hum, I control earth stuff and he’s a fire boy.

Chanyeol raised his index finger and made a smol flame appear on top of it. He seemed proud of his creation.

AMBER

Oh and someone else asked for Krys’ and Baek’s

CHANYEOL

Ice and light. _(Smile) (A moment)_ What’s Luna’s power by the way? I never saw her use them.

AMBER

No? It’s water. Same as Suho.

CHANYEOL

Oooooooh.

AMBER

Oh my god. Wait. I have an idea.

CHANYEOL

What is it?

Fast-forward effect.

CHANYEOL

So: we decided that-

AMBER

Hey! It was my idea! I should explain it!

CHANYEOL

But it’s about my channel! We’re gonna find-

AMBER

No! Not now! We’ll explain at the end of the vid so stay tuned!

Jump.

CHANYEOL

David Chehab asks: “Are there alphas?”

AMBER

No. Although some people do form ‘packs’ like we did or like the guys did, it’s more like creating a family and often it just so happens that we name people to be kinda like the head of the family, ya know?

Jump.

CHANYEOL

Oh- this one is gonna make you laugh.

Amber frowns and looks somewhat scared.

CHANYEOL

I’m sorry I can’t pronounce your name but, this person on Tumblr asks _(trying to keep himself from laughing):_ “How do you have sex?” _(laughs)_

AMBER

Oooooh! I’ve seen this one a lot actually! Hum. I won’t really judge others who do it that way but…personally we never did it as animals and don’t plan on doing so.

CHANYEOL

Same.

AMBER

Some people do it though.

CHANYEOL

Do you know anyone who does it?

AMBER

Hum. No but…I’m pretty sure some people are into that and like…I don’t know…As long as all parties are consenting, I guess…Not for me though.

CHANYEOL

Same. _(remembering)_ Oh my god. There was this time.

Bleeping sounds. Text appears on screen that reads: “cringy and personal story” and “Chanyeol didn’t think before speaking”. When he is done, Amber has her jaw open laughing a bit while she alternates between looking at the camera and at her friend.

AMBER

You _do_ realize we are recording? I know you have Baekhyun’s permission to share things about him but I don’t think that’s a story he’d like the world to know. _(She laughs)_ Do _you_ even really want the world to know that?

Chanyeol’s jaw is slack as he realizes.

CHANYEOL

Eh. Yeah, no. Cut that out please.

Jump.

AMBER

 _(startling Chanyeol)_ OH MY GOD.

CHANYEOL

What?

AMBER

Who owns the best dog?!?!

CHANYEOL

ME!!!

AMBER

FUCK OFF!!! JACK JACK IS THE BEST!!!

A picture of Jack Jack the dog appears on the screen.

CHANYEOL

NOOOO!!! TOBEN IS!!!

A picture of Toben appears this time. We can hear a voice screaming from far away. Text appears: “Suho: Amber, language!”

AMBER

 _(low)_ Shit. _(loud)_ SORRY!

Jump.

AMBER

“What.” What?

CHANYEOL

What?

They both stare into the camera as it zooms in.

Jump. They are both looking through their cell phones.

CHANYEOL

There are so many questions about mates. “What’s ‘mate’”, “Do you make blood links? What’s the whole thing about people being stuck together for life?”, “Do you need to have sex to be mates with someone?”…Oh my gooooood there are soo manyyyyyyy.

AMBER

Alright. To answer your questions: No, mates aren’t about sex, blood links or selling your soul to someone else. It’s just…A bond that we feel way stronger than other bonds. It doesn’t mean people need to have sex together or even date it’s just…There. There’s no real scientific explanation to it –yet. It’s often been associated with legends and religions.

CHANYEOL

“Is it only between two people?”

AMBER

Actually, no. I have friends that are in a poly relationship and the three of them are mates with each other.

CHANYEOL

Really? Who?

AMBER

Yeah? You know from RM’s pack?

The names were bleeped out. Chanyeol gasped.

AMBER

Don’t worry, I’ll just bleep the names out.

CHANYEOL

I didn’t know…To me it just looks like they are all going out with each other.

AMBER

Me when with you guys everyday tbh.

Jump. The music cuts.

Amber is reading through comments on her phone while Chanyeol is on his. The door opens slowly. They turn around to see a small head poking out from behind it.

AMBER

Hey, Yuu! What’s up?

The child notices the camera. The child leaves.

AMBER

Okay, bye bye!

Jump. The music resumes.

AMBER

_(in Chinese)_

“Is it contagious?” _(laughs)_

CHANYEOL

_(in English)_

You do realize I didn’t understand what you just said.

AMBER

Someone asked if it was contagious.

CHANYEOL

Well…

AMBER

Yeah, technically speaking. But like, it’s not a disease. You decide to give it to someone.

CHANYEOL

We could say the same from people who decide to have unprotected sex with people when they know they have a sexually transmissible disease.

AMBER

…I guess?

CHANYEOL

But yeah, not all people are born with it. _(He raised his hand)_ I was transformed.

AMBER

Wasn’t there a meme about that? With a drag queen or something?

Jump.

AMBER

 _(In Chinese once again. This time there are subtitles as she speaks: )_ “First of all: I love you.” Aw, I love you tooooooo. _(Chanyeol watches the camera awkwardly)_ “Also, I heard people’s animals’ sexes could be different from theirs. Does that mean homosexual shape-shifter couples could have natural children? Is that something you or Chanyeol would want?” Hum. Yes, it is true but that would involve Krys and I having sex as animals and, like I said before, that’s not for us. What about you Chanyeol?

The poor man looked traumatized as she looked at him. She seemed to realize only seconds later.

AMBER

Oh. Sorry. Did you and Baekhyun consider having children together? Like _(she signs something getting out of her body with her hands like one would normally refer to the act of giving birth)_

CHANYEOL

We did think about it but the sex part leaves us ew.

AMBER

Yeah, I get you. _(She looks proud to have made a word play)_

Jump.

CHANYEOL

Oh, that’s a good one: “Do you believe in magic?”

AMBER

I like to believe in it…Yes? I like to believe that I’ll get my Hogwarts letter one day.

CHANYEOL

Me tooooooooooo _(pout)_

AMBER

But I’ve seen a lot of people calling us “magical creatures” in the medias and while we _do_ only have eh…spiritual explications to us, I don’t think we’re the same as like dragons, you know?

CHANYEOL

Yeah, same.

AMBER

We’re just…Us. We’re people with fast metabolisms that are able to change the shapes of our bodies when we want to.

CHANYEOL

Yep. And can control some stuff.

AMBER

But mostly: we’re not creatures.

CHANYEOL

Oh, someone asked if we were religious.

AMBER

I am.

CHANYEOL

I am too.

AMBER

But it’s because I’m comfortable in that and if you are comfortable in something else that is fine too. Also, – like with every other thing that was said in the video – we’re not speaking for all shape-shifters out there. Others might see it and live it differently. We do not have absolute knowledge and truth.

Jump.

AMBER

“Can you change your physical appearances? Like, when you are humans.” Nope.

CHANYEOL

I wish. Imagine just like getting a new haircut whenever you feel like it and not pay for it or anything…I would grow myself more fingers to play difficult pieces on the piano.

AMBER

Some people can actually do that though. It’s rare but they can.

CHANYEOL

HOLY SHIT, REALLY? THAT’S SO OP WHAT THE FUCK.

Jump.

AMBER

Should we do last question?

CHANYEOL

Sure.

AMBER

Okay, you choose.

CHANYEOL

Okay, huuuuum. Earth-Ox-Detox asks: “How did you meet?” Through the pack. When I started dating Baekhyun.

AMBER

Oh. But we met before you actually started dating him.

CHANYEOL

We did? I don’t remember. Was it at the café?

AMBER

 _(Simultaneously)_ Well _I_ met you. Yeah. In front of the café in fact. But we didn’t really introduce ourselves or anything. I was in my bird shape. Do you remember? When Baek and you had your first date.

CHANYEOL

…What..?

AMBER

No? I flew right in front of you. You were super scared.

CHANYEOL

I don’t remember that.

AMBER

Aaaaaaaaw _(pout)._ Alright. Well, I was chaperoning you and Baekhyun along with Lay and Xiumin. We followed you around all day.

CHANYEOL

What? Baekhyun never told me that _(his turn to pout)._

AMBER

Yep. I knew I would like you the moment you decided that going to an arcade was the best first thing to do on a date.

The memory took Chanyeol by surprise and he exploded in laughter.

Jump.

AMBER

So, I think this pretty much sums up what questions you guys were most curious about…Thank you for watching and for supporting us. Like, really though guys. You were all so quick to give us your support even though this was all new. It really shows how far we’ve come as humans. Now we can affirm ourselves publicly and know that there will be people watching for us. Thanks a bunch. Also, check out Chanyeol’s channel where we will be doing a video where we will find many ways to combine our powers to entertain the kids. Links to Chanyeol’s social medias will be in the description. Don’t forget to like, leave a comment if you have questions left unanswered and maybe we’ll do this again someday..? Who knows. Love you all! Make sure to stay in places where it’s not too hot and to drink a lot of water during these heat waves and remember to give love to planet Earth, she needs it. Bye, guys!

 

 

 

 

_Monday January 19 th 2026_

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Yuu and Gen! Happy birthday to you!”

They sang to celebrate the twins’ fifteenth birthday.

“Okay, now in Chinese!” Amber encouraged and the other Chinese guests followed.

When they were done, Luna did the same: “In Korean!” And the Korean guests sang in their native language.

Amber, seeing it as a challenge, pushed Tao’s arm up: “Now in ASL.”

“Don’t bring me into this,” Tao opposed.

The others laughed.

“Fine.”

Suho watched the scene, slightly emotional. The two girls blew each of their cake’s candles.

“Okay but, D.O, you take this because I can’t cut cake for shit.”

“Chen!” Both Luna and Suho rebuked.

“What?” By the look in their eyes, he understood. “Ugh. Come on! We’ve seen what happened with these two, if you think they’ll be different and not end up with a bad mouth: you’re delusional.” The uncle gave his nieces a wink, clearly showing them that he was on their side.

“Don’t encourage them,” Luna opposed.

D.O cut one cake and Key the other. They had bought another cake that Jonghyun was cutting – Taemin had grabbed the knife at first but Jonghyun had taken it from him, anticipating a disaster - too, to celebrate Baekhyun’s win in his prosecution against a man who had sexually assaulted him years back.

However, that wasn’t something they would tell the children. Not for now.

For now, that cake was just to make sure everyone would get a piece. They had a lot of mouths to feed after all.

“Chanyeol? Baekhyun?” Key got their attention. “Is it okay with you if I give your oldest one a plate?”

“As long as you don’t put cake in it,” D.O replied for the parents.

“Why not? Give him cake, it’s fine,” Baekhyun gave his approval.

“Baek, he won’t sleep if you give him cake,” his friend opposed once again.

“And?” Chanyeol continued.

“Come on, D.O, the kid is four,” Luhan took the parent’s side,"let him live his childhood.”

D.O sighed and diverted his attention to the conversation Sulli was having with Taemin.

“And what about to your youngest?” Key asked. “Obviously not a plate but…I don’t know, do you give them chocolate?”

“Oh, no,” Chanyeol declined, “I think it would be better not. I read somewhere that it wasn’t good to give them chocolate before their first birthday.”

“Okay!” Key passed a piece to the four years old. “There you go. And could you give this one to Arrietty, sweetheart? Thank youuuu.”

Suho couldn’t believe the scene in front of him. He couldn’t believe his reality, all the smiles he had been able to gather in one place, all the love and acceptance.

Who would have thought, right? That one day the world would accept everything about their identities as human, that they would accept their sexualities and genders into their idea of ‘normal’ and that they would accept their existence as shape-shifters into it too.

Who would have thought? Suho surely would have never. 18 years ago – _18 years ago. Wow. I feel old._ –, he had a hard time believing Kris when he had told him homosexuals could _marry_ in Canada. He would have never even imagined to one day marry a man himself and to one day have children with said man.

And now they didn’t need to hide their shape-shifter identities?

It was all so surreal.

“Hey.” Lay put an arm around his waist. “You’re tearing up a bit.” His voice was low, knowing Suho probably wouldn’t like to have all the guests’ attention on him.

“Ugh. I knew this would happen.” He wiped his tears, giggling a bit. As he saw Lay’s mouth open to say something, he cut him: “Don’t. Don’t say it.”

“What?”

“’They grow up too fast’. I’ve heard that sentence enough in my lifetime as it is now, thank you. It’s past satisfaction now, it’s annoying.”

_Yes, they grow up too fast. I don’t need to be remembered that soon they’ll be having a life of their own with jobs and children maybe, if they want too. For now, Gen and Yuu are teenagers and this baby…_

He looked at the being sleeping soundly in his mate’s arms despite noise around.

_is my baby for a few other months still. Then, they’ll be a toddler and…Ugh. For now, they’re a baby._

“Alright,” Lay giggled. He pecked his husband’s temple. “Wanna hold hi- them. Sorry: them.”

“Yes, I will hold _them,_ ” Suho teased the other man.

For now, that was their-

“Eh…Dad?” Yuu got his attention.

“What is it?”

“I think they pooped.”

Suho verified. Indeed, it looked like the baby had defecated.

“Eh, Luna,” this time Kris spoke, “I think yours has too.” The man held the baby far from his body like Rafiki with Simba.

“Are you kidding me? But fifteen minutes ago I- Ugh!”

The others laughed.

“What about ours?” Baekhyun asked Chanyeol.

The latter sniffed their baby’s diaper.

“Nop. Clean.”

“Ouf.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BONUS

So I was reading through my notes and found this gem. This is basically the draft for the XiuChen scene, hope you enjoy:

 

Ddulli: “so you’re going out but he’s not your boyfriend? What is he then?” 

StarPuppy: “my best friend with whom I’m going out” 

Bun, at the same time: “My wife” 

StarPuppy stops for a moment and laughs awkwardly as he realizes. 

Ddulli: “what did you say?”

Bun: “I said he was my wife” 

StarPuppy *still shy*  Ddulli laughs

StarPuppy: “Shut up, you never once called me your wife, you’re saying crap” 

Bun: “would you rather have me call you husband?”  

StarPuppy *laughing awkwardly* “shut up”

Ddulli just stares and StarPuppy notices, he turns to Bun: “Wait. What are you…Talking about?” 

Bun: “I’m saying that I could start calling you my husband” 

StarPuppy: *nervous laughter*

Bun: “All you would need to do is say ‘yes’” 

StarPuppy after a moment: “You’re kidding, right?” 

Bun: “Do I look like I’m kidding?”

StarPuppy starts smiling and looks away because he’s shy and wants to hide and whenever he tries to look at Bun again he just starts smiling again and Bun finds that cute. Eventually StarPuppy just hides his face in his hands and nods 

Bun: “Nodding doesn’t count; you need to say it” 

StarPuppy *muffled voice*: “Yes.” 

Bun grabs his neck affectionately, laughs and kisses StarPuppy’s head. The story doesn’t tell if StarPuppy cried behind his hands but it does say that Ddulli felt third wheel as fuck although happy for her friends. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: So this double concludes Let's Be One (*cries a little*). There will be a few bonus chapters coming soon and Of Bygone Days coming soon too to explain the story before LBO (it'll probably be less long though, hopefully) :) Thank you for reading I hope you liked this and hope it made you happy :)   
> 
> Now, I'll be giving some details I couldn't add in the last scene cause it would have been too filled x) So
> 
> 1\. I'm not sure if JongKeyTae decided to get transformed in shape-shifters but it's likely they did. Btw Tae ended up dating that dude he met at a bar back then, Mastuda Mioru.  
> 
> 2\. The couples that are married in the last (they got married after it got legalized in Japan in like 2020) (approximately) are XiuChen, TaoRis, SuLay, ChanBaek, KryBer and JongKey. HunHan and Taemin and his boyfriend were fine not married, KaiSoo weren't sure if they felt like it and f(x)...I don't know if they have partners outside their pack and it's amiguous to me if they are like in romantic relationships with each other so *shrug emoji* I'll leave that up to you. Hotaru's married to her job  and has two cats. 
> 
> 3\. About the people that had children in the last scene: Obvs SuLay had Gen and Yuu that they adopted in 2021 (and that's canon, it can't be changed) but they also have another baby. Now, for them and like ChanBaek that have 2 kids, JongKey that have Arrietty (I'll explain where her name came from latter) and Luna that has a baby, how the baby ended up in the family is up to you. Taemin and Mioru adopted a child and so did KryBer. At the time of the last scene, KaiSoo are thinking of adopting one as well. 
> 
> 4\. I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING: where do all these people live? Well: After ChanBaek had their oldest, HunHan decided to move back in Lu`s apartment and XiuChen moved in the apartment next to them in the same building because they wanted the children to stay together in the same house. 
> 
> 5\. Also for the names...Korean names are really complicated okay? And I feel like for example ChanBaek would probably want to go to like a generational specialist thingie to give them so like fack off that`s too much research for the simple being that I am. 
> 
> 6\. For JongKey: Arrietty came from this interview:  http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/shinee/articles/83403/title/interview-kool-magazine-vol-1 where Key said, talking about Ghibli's The Borrower Arrietty "I was hoping that Arrietty really exists as much as I love it. (...) I want “Arrietty” as a present. A real and alive “Arrietty”" So that's why. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this :) I appreciate it a lot :) Don't hesitate to leave comments and I wish you all good days. Love you <3 


	40. Bonus #1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: This is pretty much only smut, know that even though at times it doesn't sound like there is consent: there is. (They had negociations in the past as to what was fine and what wasn't). There's messing-up with one's mind as a kink and sub/dom dynamics although they are versatile af. Also there's some really cheesy shit because, well, it's SuLay. 

_Christmas Eve, December 2011_

“Oh, no. Did you fall asleep?” Suho could _hear_ the pout in Lay’s voice.

“No, don’t worry.” He got off the bed to walk up to his mate that had just entered the room. “I just thought I would close my eyes a bit since you were taking _so long._ ” He pointed a finger at him teasingly.

“Yep. But, now, I’m all here.” He put his arms around the smaller man.

“Mmmmmh.”

They swayed softly in that soothing embrace, eyes closed, hearts open. The time they spent there felt like an eternity. Not in the sense that it was unpleasant and they would have wanted it to end more quickly, but in the completely opposite sense. It was so reassuring to simply lean on the other, enlacing them and perceiving their chest heave and drop in such a calm rhythm that it felt as if they had spent years being soothed, as if they had been out of harm’s reach for way longer than the seconds they had actually spent hugging each other.

Suho took in the other’s scent.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m really horny right now.” He chuckled. “Is it you? Are you mucking around with my hormones right now?”

“No. It’s not me this time.”

“Mmh…” The Korean pecked his boyfriends’ neck. “Do you wish you were?” His voice was low but he wasn’t whispering. His vocal chords were indeed vibrating but in that very low volume where it was difficult to keep the voice from cracking. “Do you wish I gave you control? Allowed you to mess with my body in any way you wanted?”

Lay’s hand reached the other’s hair and grasped it lightly. He hummed. “Aren’t _you_ being needy...You want me to play with you, don’t you?” He pulled him back by the hair so he could look at him.

Suho stared straight in his eyes, challenging. “Yes.”

Whimpering, the latter clung onto Lay’s naked shoulders as his knees went weak.

The Chinese smirked down at him.

Suho pulled himself back up using the other’s shoulders as leverage and kissed him passionately, arms thrown around his neck.

They held and kissed each other until their needs brought them to the comfort of their mattress.

“In any way, huh?” Lay’s movements were languid as he pulled Suho’s t-shirt up his body, his tongue still slipping inside his mouth.

“Mmh!”

“Alright.”

With a last peck, he took the other man's shirt off him, threw it somewhere in the room and sat straight above the man, tickling the other’s chest as he positioned himself.

Suho inhaled loudly when Lay pressed a hand against his crotch. He rubbed the fabric of his boxers up and down, watching as Suho’s muscles tensed uncontrollably under him to better relax later on. His hands were tightly gripping the covers, knuckles white; his eyes were shut and his eyebrows were furrowed; and his legs, under his mate, were pressing together, his hips moving restlessly.

His back lifted from the mattress as he orgasmed, his bottom half still fully clothed. Lay pushed him back down, a hand on his tummy, to finish him correctly with the other.

“Already?”

Realizing what had just happened, Suho hid his face, greatly embarrassed.

“It was clearly you,” Suho stated.

“You don’t seem so sure about that,” Lay countered.

The tone in his partner’s voice and the truth in the words he spoke sent shivers down Suho’s spine. It was true after all: how could he know for sure he hadn’t just prematurely ejaculated because he was too excited? If that wasn’t humiliating…

He rolled on his side as an attempt to escape the situation.

“Why are you being shy?” Lay caressed his side. “You don’t have to be, it’s alright, I understand: you just couldn’t control yourself.” Even though the words he spoke were supposed to be reassuring, the tone in which he said them was mocking.

While the hand that had caressed Suho’s ribs rested on his back, the other one went on his front.

“And now your underwear is all wet and dirty…”

Suho shoved his hand away and rolled up in a ball.

“I hope for you Xiumin doesn’t reach the clothes to wash before you do,” Lay continued, “that would be even more embarrassing, wouldn’t it?”

The Korean man pushed his mate.

The latter grabbed his arm, using it to turn him and gain access, once again, to the part between his legs.

He pulled Suho’s underwear to take them off but the latter prevented him from doing so, pulling them upwards. He pressed his legs together and stared into his mate’s eyes, begging.

Lay didn’t say a word. He silently watched Suho, never breaking eye contact.

The laying man yielded unwillingly. He looked away.

The Chinese man smiled, content. _Gosh, he’s adorable._

“Ha…” Lay had grasped his manhood. _It doesn’t hurt? How come it doesn’t hurt? It usually hurts…_

“You recovered quickly,” the kneeling man commented. He continued to jerk him off, pace slow. “Aren’t you a horny bunny…”

Suho turned on his back, welcoming the actions.

He let himself relax, closing his eyes and letting his moans pour out of his throat freely.

“Does that feel good?” Lay asked, contemplating the passive body.

“Yes…Ha…Neomu…”

The Chinese man was amused by Suho’s unaware switch to Korean and by the hand that made its way to the latter’s member. He let it take over. _Alright._

He sat down, put his mate’s legs on his and caressed his inner thighs, sometimes brushing over the man’s balls.

After a moment, he decided he would pleasure himself like his body had been urging him to do for a while now. He continued his watch, comfortably holding himself up with one stable hand on the mattress behind him.

“Hey, slow down a bit,” he scolded Suho that was getting carried away.

The man pouted but obeyed nonetheless.

Lay noticed the other man’s expression grew more tensed as he concentrated on keeping a steady pace.

“Am I doing good?” His mate asked.

He gave an affirmative hum before answering properly: “You’re doing very good, bǎo bèi.”

The laying man seemed pleased with the answer; a sense of satisfaction pulling on the corners of his lips. He continued his motions dutifully, his breathing calm and steady.

Lay loosened his grip around his member and leaned forward to slide a finger across the skin of Suho’s hand and forearm gently. It startled the latter who then giggled:

“Don’t expect that to work; I’m not in heat, babo.”

It was Lay’s turn to laugh. It was very casual this time, nothing teasing. “You still like it.” He leaned closer, going for a kiss.

"Indeed," Suho grinned and gladly received the peck. 

The latter felt his boyfriend’s hand replace his on his manhood. He initiated a new rhythm, this time slightly faster, and the Korean man welcomed it.

He propped himself up to demand another kiss and reached for his mate’s arousal to make sure he wasn’t the only one enjoying himself.

And then there was this uncomfortable feeling all over his body. It felt kind of itchy. He was shifting.

He pushed Lay off and it stopped.

“Ah, sorry,” the latter spoke, “that’s on me.”

Suho pouted.

“I just thought it was kind of unfortunate that you weren’t in heat right now.” The laying man started shifting again as the other was once again hovering over him. “So I thought, maybe if I could talk to your wolf…” The Korean man whined, tried to push him away. “And get him to start a heat…”

His face turned red as fire invaded his veins, his core, his everything. He fought against Lay’s call to his wolf but then there was this desire in him to just let go. His entire body suddenly felt more sensitive to any touch or ministration.

And his hands…His mate knew how sensible his arms could get during a heat and, now that he had forced one on him, he was using it to his advantage.

He watched, helpless, as Lay sucked on his fingers. The other man didn’t even need to attach him to the bed to gain complete control over him. He didn’t even need to touch him.

Suho moaned at the thought, tried to pull his arm away from his mate because of the overstimulation. He imagined being left on the bed, Lay leaning on the wall in front of him, watching as he used his body as his puppet and messed with it as he wished.

He heard the other laugh but it felt so far away.

“Stop that,” he was able to say, nonetheless, momentarily taking control over his daydreaming.

Another laugh. His temperature lowered but only slightly, a sense of reality getting back to him. He pulled his hand away from Lay’s grip while looking straight at him, briefly scolding him.

The latter pecked his forehead.

He then pushed himself back, analysing the flushed body and reached for the Korean man’s hand once again. Suho resisted for an instant but then followed the lead to his member.

Instinctively, he wrapped his fingers around it. Lay’s hand joined his, defining a rythym.

When it had been established, the hand disappeared just like it had been done, once before.

“Continue.” Lay ordered. “You’re close, aren’t you?”

Taking a deep breath, Suho realized – did he now? Or was it just Lay again? – how close he was to orgasm.

He wanted to pick up the pace but he knew not to. Chances were, if he were to disobey, his mate wouldn’t let him get any satisfaction.

So he respected the moderate tempo under Lay’s burning hands and gaze until he felt the edge of his climax and even then continued, with more difficulty this time, with the same tempo.

“Lay,” he breathed out, “can I..?”

“No, continue like this.”

He felt it. He was there. _I’m…_

“…I’m-“

“Stop.”

Suho did stop but mostly because he was startled. When he opened his eyes, Lay was pushing his hand away from his penis.

The Chinese man was amused by the pitiful look on his lover’s face.

The latter seemed reassured when his arousal was held once again. He sighed with the contact.

“Breathe,” Lay murmured, picking up the pace.

Only, it was way faster than the earlier rhythms. 

It didn’t take long to edge Suho again and the kneeling man continued until he could feel that his mate had started his climax to stop again.

The Korean was quick to reach for his cock but his boyfriend held him back, pinning his arms against the mattress.

They both watched the semen spill on the laying man’s stomach as his member and the rest of his body spasmed.

He whined. He wished he could convey his feelings into words but he didn’t find them.

“What is it?” Lay asked. “Upset I didn’t allow you to orgasm properly?” The Korean searched for an answer. “Alright, I understand, I understand. Don’t worry, I’ll fix it.” There was a smirk on his lips and his mate was slightly scared.

Even more when he saw the Chinese’s hand make its way towards his cock once again.

“No, no.” _I just came._ “Don’t-“

He felt himself heat up and become dizzy and when Lay wrapped his fingers around his manhood it was as if he was still on edge, as if he hadn’t orgasmed seconds ago. He gasped.

“Is that fine?”

Suho didn’t answer, only pressing his lips into a thin line and reaching for the other’s arm to caress it.

And then he was coming again. This time, Lay finished him off properly and jerked him off until he could feel his mate's member soften in his hold. 

The Korean man felt so dizzy. He closed his eyes, unable to keep them open. His mate giggled somewhere in front of him.

The latter pushed his bangs out of the smaller man’s face. _He should drink a bit._

He went to peck his lips, caressing his arm and massaging his trapezius muscles momentarily. “I’ll go get you some water, okay?”

“Okay,” the laying man's voice was so weak. 

 

 

 

 

Suho must have had passed out for a moment there because he didn’t realize Lay was gone until he felt the bed dip next to him when the latter came back.

“Here, drink up,” the Chinese man spoke so softly, so warmly.

Suho sat up, taking the glass in his hands and, in no time, it was empty.

“How do you feel? Do you wanna continue?”

The Korean smiled softly at the other’s question. He raised an eyebrow and let his head rest against the wall as he eyed his mate up. “We should, shouldn’t we? You didn’t even come once. It’s unfair.”

“Don’t worry about me, seeing you like that is satisfying enough.”

Suho rolled his eyes. “Let’s continue, babo.” He pulled his mate towards him to kiss him. “I want to see you come.”

He shivered as he felt liquid drip down to his navel, remembered that it was there. Lay didn’t fail to notice. He chuckled and reached for a tissue to wipe it off. He threw it away and, when that was done, looked for something inside the night-table.

He poured the liquid on the Korean leader’s member and with the bit that was on his fingers, warned his muscles of the upcoming sensations.

“So _that’s_ why you were taking so long in the bathroom,” Suho teased.

“Yes.”

The Chinese man jerked the other off a few times, quickly making him hard again.

“That’s definitely you,” Suho stated, chuckling. “You won’t make me believe that after coming three times I can still become hard so fast.”

Lay laughed as well, not denying it.

The latter let himself get impaled by his partner’s manhood. He blushed. He waited to get accustomed to the shape, Suho rubbing his thighs reassuringly.

His hands moved up, brushing his waist briefly to then rest on his pectorals, fingers pinching the buds there.

Body heating up, Lay started moving, the mattress under them following his motions. He propped and dropped himself on his lover’s dick repeatedly. He pushed Suho’s fingers away from his chest as he felt he would come too fast if he were to continue playing with his nipples. He didn’t want to come just yet. He wanted to wait until their bodies were melting in the room’s heat, until their bodies were all flushed and dripping in sweat, tears and drool. Not before.

He rested shaking arms on the Korean’s thighs behind him, fingers griping them firmly and Suho’s hands wondered over his, never even brushing over his erected shaft or the hair around it.

 _Worth it_ , Lay thought. Being patient and pleasuring his mate before him and making him come repeatedly before satisfying his own desires was all _so worth it._ His open mouth let sounds of delight escape without refrain as he breathed in and out, his attentive eyes noticed the drop of sweat that slowly trickled down his lover's temple, his cheek, his jaw to then follow the line of his neck to his collarbone. He leaned forward to lick it. They kissed.

Suho led, feet flat on the mattress, rolling his hips to thrust inside him perfectly. His fingers migrated towards his nipples once again and took a hold of them.

Lay whined. “Don’t touch them,” he sang between two breaths, “you’ll make me come.”

“That’s the point.”

The Chinese pushed himself up. “You’re close? Already?”

The other man sat, pouted: “It’s not my fault you feel this good.” He pinched the bud he held and twisted it. His mate squeezed around him and he gasped. _Shit, that was close._

Lay shoved him off and Suho tackled him, grabbing his breast and thrusting into him, drawing out moan after moan from his partner. The latter pushed on his abdomen always hoping the next thrust would be less deep. He closed his legs as an attempt to make the other stop but it didn’t, turned himself on his belly so that at least his boyfriend wouldn’t have access to his pectorals but the Korean continued nonetheless. He understood it was probably because he was keeping the other man on edge, not wanting him to climax just yet, not when he hadn’t. It was only normal for Suho to be that desperate, to hold onto his waist with such strength and to reach inside of him so ruthlessly.

Lay could only hold himself on the edge of the mattress, crying out vehemently as his mate exerted himself.

“Please,” he heard the other whimper in his back. He felt his body fall on his, Suho never halting his chase, and two hands make way between the mattress and his chest. He cursed mentally; he thought this position protected him from receiving such attention.

He buried his nails into the bed sheets and his body quivered as he came.

He didn’t even think of letting go of his intangible hold on his mate’s anatomy for it to happen. When he felt liquid spill inside of him, he understood his moment of distraction had allowed his partner to find deliverance.

He let him catch his breath, heavy and warm on his back, before trying to turn around. He wouldn’t deny that it had all winded him too; he hadn’t been able to suppress the whimpers that had continued to fall off his lips even after Suho had stopped.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Suho worried as soon as they were lying next to each other, face to face. He had a hand under the other’s cheek.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Thank god,” he sighed, “I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ve ever-“

“Don’t apologize. If anything, I think you should do that more often.”

Suho chuckled, voice weak.

“Maybe. But I don’t know if I’ll want to, I was so worried and frustrated at the same time. I knew you would tell me if it hurt but at the same time I was scared you wouldn’t or maybe that you...I was kinda scared to show you this side of me.”

“I like it; it’s cute. So desperate,” Lay teased, taking his mate’s chin between his fingers.

They laughed together.

“It’s my turn to bottom next time,” the Korean promised and the other raised an eyebrow.

Suho grabbed his mate’s naked arm as he felt as if something had been pressed inside of him while there was clearly nothing between his legs.

“Red! Red.” As soon as that had been done the pressure left as well as the sudden wave of heat. “Let’s stop for tonight.”

“Alright,” Lay smiled, bringing his partner closer to him. “I don’t know about you but I’m getting a bit cold; wanna go under the covers?”

“Yes.”

And under the comforters they went, cuddling.

Later on, they went to bath together, drink water and hot chocolate and eat a bit before they went back into a clean bed they had previously changed to cuddle once again. This time, they planned to sleep, to rest into their warm embraces.

They never expected what the morning would bring them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Soooooooooo a whole chapter with only SuLay smut :D We didn't see them often in LBO but we'll see them in Of Bygone Days, I promise :) (I feel like SuLay fans are kinda starving when it comes to fics of their otp so I hope this has fed you a bit..? (I don't even know if one can say that) Do I even have SuLay fans reading this? What are your fave ships in exo? 
> 
> ALSO I said I would be doing 3 bonus chapters, right? and I have my idea for the second one but for the third...I thought I had one but nothing's coming ;-; I want to write some KaiSoo fluff or something, thought they could go to like a themed café and read books together but I only have an image and no words ;-; Heeeeeeeeelp D: 


	41. edit notification

Yo! 

So I had been wanting to edit a few things for a while now and I finally got around to edit them :) 

I worked on Luhan's sex work scenes cause these were off af since I didn't know that much about sex work back then (I actually made research so it's better now but there could still be things to work on) (if you have any info, shoot it my way :) ). Chapter 4: Guilt is a Blinding Light (scene with Kris) and Chapter 21: Finding Comfort in the Coldest Places (rape scene) have been edited (mostly chap. 4 though) 

Also, I edited some of the Christmas bits so that they could actually fit with the Japanese's Christmas atmosphere. Chapter 25: The Future Lies Beneath Us (the bar scene) and Chapter 34: May your Passions Guide You (the chat with Tao) have been edited. 

If you want to go check the changes out, you can but you don't need to. There aren't any plot changes. The changes made were to make the story more realistic and/or to explain better some stuff about characters. 

I started school again so I don't know when I'll post again (don't know if it's gonna be the next Bonus chapter or the first one of Of Bygone Days yet either) but in the meantime: I hope life is and will be good to you and hope you surround yourself with caring people and healthy stuff <3 

Thanks for sticking around :)  

**Author's Note:**

> So this story was posted on AsianFanfics before (I am still updating new chapters) and I wanted to post it here. I'm new on AO3 so I might have done a few mistakes while copying my work here or doing the tags or something, please bear with me ;-;


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